The rising cost of designer clothing is increasing the gulf between the rich, the middle class and the poor. After all, how many people can pay $30,000 for a YSL dress or coat?
If you browse the online stores of just a few of the mid to high end luxury brands, you might be amazed at the rising costs. Chloe shoes are now around $2500 a pair.
Byblos is showing very structured blazers with even larger shoulder pads than we saw in the 1980’s. The newer lines have square, almost theatrical designs. If you buy a new Byblos blazer, it will cost $1400 and upwards. Sweaters are $800 and upwards. A ruffled polyester skirt is $1000.
Dolce & Gabbana is higher ticket than Byblos, and a little more subdued. Skirts are listed starting at over $2000. A silk skirt is listed for $3895. A cotton embroidered shirt is a whopping $23,500. You most certainly don’t want to spill coffee on a shirt like that.
Another well known line of designer clothing is US based St. John, known for high quality knits, blazers, suits, and evening wear. A St. John knit jacket now costs $2900, and tweed is $3250. A very simple basic skirt starts at $1550.
The Escada brand is no longer predominantly made in Germany. The higher end items are made in Italy, and Escada Sport is made in Romania. There is just one blazer on their website that is embellished with embroidery, sequins, and bugle beads. It is listed for $4550. It does not give the fabric composition, or where it was made.
Escada pencil skirts range from $1400-$2000. An Escada Sport cotton pencil skirt made in Romania is listed for $880. Their website has two maxi dresses for sale. One for $7,900 and the other is $4,400. I did not see the fabric composition or country where they were made on those dresses. It seems to me Escada had a much broader range of clothing when they were making them in Germany.
Moving on to an even higher end brand Yves Saint Laurent clothing starts at about $5000, and goes up from there. They sell some very elaborate gowns for over $20,000.
Some people do not like the concept of buying vintage or second hand clothing. However, there are some brands, and fabrics that are now obsolete, so if you want a certain brand that is no longer available new, you can search the second hand markets.
The other thing to note is that as resources become more scarce, and labour costs increase, especially for clothing created in Europe, you will find more polyester even in the luxury brands, with less wool, silk, and high quality cottons.
Even cashmere is not all created equal. Most of the finest cashmere comes from Scotland, with Ballantyne and Barrie topping the list. Hand intarsia cashmere is the most expensive. It involves creating designs by hand using separate yarn for eack colour block, without carrying the yarn floats across the back of the fabric. This creates a flat, clean, almost picture-like pattern in the cashmere.
Ballantyne cashmere starts around $500 and upwards while Barrie cashmere will cost you starting at over $1200 for a short sleeve pullover.
There is a quite a difference between high quality and low quality cashmere. The lower quality is thinner, and prone to pilling.
Whether you are a fashionista looking for high end designer clothing, or have a keen eye for quality and what suits you, regardless of the latest trends, natural fibres are superior (in my opinion).
Some synthetics look great, but when compared to natural fibres they don’t carry the timeless classic, or the comfort of the natural fibres. The main advantage is that you can hand wash a nice blouse made of polyamide fabrics.
I do believe that for skirts wool, cotton, and silk create the best drape. Often a mix of silk and flax, or wool and viscose work well in providing the structure for fitted skirts, and the flow in the flared skirts.
One of the most confusing brands is Versace. They have made some beautiful, stylish and high quality clothing. However, it is difficult to sort out the numerous lines, and diffusion lines they have created over the years. There is Versus Versace, Versace Jeans, Versace Jeans Couture, Istante Versace, Gianni Versace, Versatile Versace, Versace Classic and Gianni Versace Couture. That is a hard act to follow.
The Versace website lists skirts for around $2000. A silk chiffon pencil skirt is $7375. A jersey tank top is $2225. A denim jacket is $2700.
Whether you are dressing for work, or for black tie fund raisers, clearly clothing is an investment. Many items of clothing are timeless. In many cases no one would know if you were wearing a vintage skirt or a new designer skirt.
One of the reasons I appreciate vintage, is because you get to see the designs, fabric composition, and workmanship from multiple eras, and multiple designers. You see what is sublime, what is exceptionally well made, and in some cases, what is rather flimsy for all the hype.
I don’t think a high percentage of women are spending $3000 for a skirt. The top tier designers are catering to an elite market. However, there are many women who have a keen eye for both quality and design, and they will often be able to spot a deal.
Some of the nicest things are to be found in the second hand market. Many of those items are well cared for, and in great condition. Style is your own unique creative expression. The high end brands give us an idea of what is out there now, and what is trending.
The vintage market shows the entire range of what each brand has come up with over the years. Many of those items are so labour intensive, they will never be made again.
In recent months the campaign to release Lucy Letby has been heating up. Out of the blue, it seems like hundreds of “experts” are now weighing in, making adamant claims of her innocence.
It seems like a very well orchestrated political and media campaign. Three former administrators from the Countess of Chester Hospital were arrested on suspicion of gross negligence, and manslaughter, following the trial of Letby. Is it any wonder this has become a political football?
We all know how the so called experts weighed in on the covid fiasco, and many continue to do so. It is difficult to understand how a nurse manager in the US can weigh in, and claim with certainty that Lucy was an outstanding young nurse, who she (random nurse manager from 4,000 miles away) was very proud of. What?
How can a nurse manager from another country assess a nurse who she has never even met, or worked with? This woman is one of the so-called experts who has jumped into the political melee.
Thousands of lay people are also on the innocence bandwagon. One has to wonder how a jury of eleven people who went through thousands of pages of evidence for many months, could get it all wrong?
The assumption is that all of the doctors who sounded the alarm were corrupt, lying and covering up their own incompetence. That means a group of seven neonatal consultants at the hospital who raised formal concerns, were all in cahoots for some reason.
Doctors are very adept when it comes to fiercely protecting their own professional careers and reputations. They are by no means pure as the driven snow when it comes to being underhanded, and prone to blaming others for anything that might make them look bad.
But it does not make sense that all of the doctors would take an interest in pointing a finger at one person without a cause. They would know it would lead to an intensive, and in-depth investigation. If they were trying to cover things up, they would not want an in-depth investigation. They know about the power of unions. They know the charts are a legal document that would be dissected by police, and used in court.
I don’t think it is feasible for seven neonatologists to develop a vendetta without sufficient cause. How many people in any professional setting would want to weigh in on, and be forced to testify in a murder trial? How many would want their own competencies, and judgement to come under intense scrutiny?
Clearly they did not bring their concerns forward without recognizing the gravity of what they were faced with. They soon found out the powers they were up against, but they did not back down. It speaks to the strength of their own convictions.
Furthermore, if Letby is actually innocent, and was the target of a witch hunt, the police force had to be co-conspirators with the doctors. They would have had to see some reason to scapegoat Letby for the problems in the NICU where she worked. Why would they seek a scapegoat in such a situation? If there was no validity to the doctor’s complaints, the police would have simply said there was not sufficient evidence to pursue it.
This case had to go through layer upon layer of investigation, at every single stage, long before it even got to trial. Yet somehow the court of public opinion can now loom larger than the justice system?
All those who are claiming she is innocent now that a political campaign is underway, and the “experts” contributing to this have nothing to lose, and possibly something to gain. They are boldly moving in to use their opinions, to override the jury system in the UK.
We all know that miscarriages of justice do occur. No one wants to see an innocent person locked up. But what is alarming about this case is that an in-depth investigation, and lengthy trial is potentially being tossed over a multitude of random opinions.
In my opinion, in order to make the claim of innocence, they will have to go over all of the evidence, and one by one turn over every single conviction. What if it turns out she conclusively murdered three babies, instead of seven? What if she attempted to murder just two of them?
How do they explain the fact that the death rate rose dramatically while she was there, and dropped dramatically when she was gone? What about the babies that recovered after the attacks by Letby when they were sent to another hospital? And then promptly collapsed again, after being returned to her care?
How does anyone explain why insulin was put into a TPN bag, when none of those babies had orders for insulin? How do they explain that Letby asked the police if they “”had the bag”? How would she have known the insulin had been put into a TPN bag, when she was being questioned about administering insulin to a neonate, unless she knew that was how it was administered? There are many ways to administer insulin.
How do they explain the babies who were very stable, suddenly collapsing shortly after she came on shift? Or when she did a break relief for another nurse. The nurse left the baby in stable condition, and before the end of her break, the child was having a cardiac or respiratory arrest. That is highly suspicious.
How about when Letby returned from vacation, and said she was going to be “coming back with a bang”. As soon as she returned, there were more collapses, sending shock waves through the entire unit.
How do they explain the alterations she made on the charts? Or taking stacks of handover sheets home with her? Or all the things she wrote in her diary? What about the confessional notes she left in her apartment for the police to find? She knew she was out of control.
They claim the notes she wrote admitting to the crimes, were written under duress because she was traumatized by the accusations. She wrote that she was evil, and did it on purpose. Would an innocent person say that?
The entire situation had spiralled out of control. There was not one incident, or a single mechanism of injury. Those babies suffered many attacks, using a variety of different methods.
There is no doubt that some of the responses to the collapses were rife with mistakes. It is very common for doctors to have difficulty getting a central line in, or intubating, in a crisis situation. Sometimes the correct instruments are not readily available, or the crash cart has not been kept up to date.
It is common for people to make mistakes, and to miss key information. That does not mean there is a conspiracy. It just means the competency is not always 100% because to err is human. In most of those cases, those who attended the resuscitations were completely caught off guard.
It is not difficult to believe that the management was grossly negligent, because sadly, that is common. It is not difficult to believe that some of the doctors, or people involved in the many resuscitations, would have made errors. It is not uncommon for certain people to dislike each other, and/or complain about each other within a hospital setting.
It is uncommon for seven consultants to see patterns of intentional harm, and unexpected collapses. It is very uncommon for the parent of any professional to go to grievance related meetings with the administrators of a hospital, as Lucy Letby’s father is reported to have done. Why would they allow that? What about confidentiality? What about the fact that he was not working there – she was? She was not a child. She was an adult who was placed in charge of premature neonates, which was a position involving significant responsibility.
If it is true that Lucy Letby’s father attended meetings with the administrators surrounding her case, to address the doctor’s concerns, and Letby’s grievance over being removed form the unit – that is very abnormal. In fact it is unheard of. Since when does the parent of an adult professional intervene on behalf of their child in a work setting?
During those meetings, his influence was so significant that he got the administrators to side in favour of Letby. As a result, the doctors were forced to write a letter of apology, and agree to work with her. Even that was not good enough. They were told they must be “happy to work with her”.
It appears she never did get back to work, because a police investigation had been launched.
For all those who adamantly claim she is innocent, they must admit to the fact they are being influenced by a campaign. There is no way random people could have heard all the testimony, or gone through thousands of pages of evidence.
I listened to about seventy or eighty per cent of the trial that was made public. The testimony of the parents of the babies was heart wrenching, and candid. Did they too have a motive to scapegoat Letby?
After listening to the trial, I did think the jury got it right. I could not see how they could ever overturn every single case, because they went through painstaking evidence to convict on every single case.
In fact there were numerous cases that were highly suspicious, but were overturned due to a lack of conclusive evidence.
It seems like there is now a massive amount of sympathy for Letby. But what about the babies? What about cases of attempted murder that caused some of them to be severely handicapped? The sympathy for them seems to have evaporated.
Regardless of the outcome, and in spite of the political furor, and experts weighing in – there is no way Letby can be completely innocent. It was not a matter of a single victim, or even three of four. The victim count was more than twenty.
The babies did not die of sepsis. There was no outbreak of infection to speak of. Instead there was a series of random, and repeated attacks on various infants.
Staff could have been burned out, understaffed, and poorly managed. Sadly that is the way it is in most hospitals. But none of those things lead to murder, and attempted murder, or even the suspicion of murder.
The suspicions that began to revolve around Letby happened because of a dramatic increase in deaths, and near deaths, which had no reasonable explanation. Understandably those deaths, and collapses would be cause for alarm.
It did not take too long to realize she was on duty for each of those critical incidents. Not two or three of them, but more like twenty.
Is it possible the efforts of her influential father, combined with the arrests of top administrators, and their political connections, have led to a campaign of innocence? Not based on proof of innocence, but based on the creation of a presumption of innocence? Designed to get them all off the hook?
How much does it take to drum up expert witnesses once a political campaign is launched?
If she is truly innocent, let them bring forth solid new evidence, combined with proof of police corruption, and conspiracy.
The tables would have to turn on many people, to include all of the doctors. Then let a new jury hear all of the evidence. The separate the new evidence from the original evidence, case by case, for every single infant, and see if they can overturn all of them. It would take another year long trial, and weeks, if not months of deliberating.
I hope whatever happens, the truth comes out and stands firm. Personally, I have more confidence in the jury system, than I do in so called experts who are coming out of the woodwork after the conviction.
If a political campaign, and the influence of a disgruntled father with political connections, can overturn a jury conviction, what has happened to the justice system?
The following practices will help your mental health. Adequate sleep tops the list. Avoiding drugs and alcohol also tops the list, yet it is what so many of us turn to in times of stress. It is the worst thing to do because it deregulates mood, and wreaks havoc with all systems of the body, to include sleep.
The avoidance of drugs includes all or most prescription drugs, especially addictive drugs. These include sleeping pills, anti-anxiety drugs in the class of benzodiazepines, SSRI’s, and addictive pain medication.
I realize some people seek help with certain things by going to doctors. They may need relief, and are prescribed drugs to help them function. Many people can regulate the amount of medication they are taking, without seeking more. But over time, if the drug is addictive, you will physiologically stop getting the same results, without increasing the dosage. Psychological dependance occurs concurrently with physical dependance.
Sooner or later, the addict will have to go through withdrawal, followed by a period of recovery. Just because a doctor prescribes a drug, does not mean it won’t harm you, or that it is not addictive.
All drugs require careful and long term gradual weaning, especially if you have been on them a long time. This includes SSRI’s, opiates, and benzodiazepines. Each drug, to include nicotine, alcohol, and even caffeine will require a plan, tailored to the individual, in order to get free of it.
Addiction is a form of bondage. We do not get true liberty until we are free of it. We do not get the comfort of peace and hope through addiction. The mood elevation is temporary, and is followed by a crash. True freedom comes from having hope and stability without any mood altering substances.
Steroids contribute to severe mood swings, and can create serious problems with your health to include high blood pressure, heart attacks, and liver and kidney problems.
Many supplements can be dangerous. Herbal detox tea blends can cause kidney damage in a week. Weight loss herbal blends can cause liver and or kidney damage. High doses of vitamin C can cause kidney stones, and damage. Creatinine, protein drinks and supplements, and collagen are all nephrotoxins.
For anyone who is prone to kidney stones, it is wise to avoid all high oxalate foods, and avoid taking too much protein. Most physical illnesses, including cancers, begin gradually. If changes in diet, stress management, and sleep are made, it may help prevent an illness from becoming full blown. Our mental health affects our physical health, and vice versa.
Ibuprofen, and basically all NSAID, are harmful to kidneys. Ibuprofen can also make older people more susceptible to stroke. NSAIDs cause problems with your gut, and alter the gut biome.
If you take any medication at all, be sure to be very cautious with supplements, because even harmless supplements can cause interactions with certain medications. If we are suffering any kind of ill effect, or drug interaction, it is likely to have an adverse effect on our mental health.
I do believe there are many beneficial supplements, from natural plant derivatives that have powerful antioxidant, antibacterial, anti fungal, and antiviral properties. We just have to be careful, do the research, and take them in small amounts. Even too much green tea can be harmful.
For instance if you take Matcha tea, which is what I exchanged for coffee in the morning, you should only take one teaspoon of it a day. If you buy a good grade Matcha tea, and then make a latte with almond milk, you get a dose of caffeine and a pleasant drink.
One cup of Matcha tea has about 50 mg of caffeine, while a cup of coffee has 100 mg. If you drink two or three cups of coffee a day, you will likely experience withdrawal when quitting, typically headaches and upset stomach. This tells us how much it affects our system overall.
Diet, with a focus on gut health is mandatory when it comes to mental health. Drugs interfere with gut health as well. For optimal gut health, we need a good variety of whole foods, with lots of fibre. Most people think of fibre as being in fresh fruit and vegetables, which is true. But don’t underestimate the value of whole grains, to include seeds.
The range of whole grains to consume is more than we realize. Wheat bran, oat bran, cracked wheat, hemp hearts, chia seeds, amaranth, cracked wheat, buckwheat groats, steel cut oats, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, barley, millet, quinoa, and rice.
A significant number of these grains can be bought in bulk and mixed to make a ten grain breakfast cereal. That way you get lots of fibre, omega 3’s, and B vitamins along with many other nutrients. It will also give you a good blend of both soluble and insoluble fibre.
Exercise and fresh air is a no brainer. Everyone smiles more when the sun shines. Whatever you can manage to do outdoors, is probably going to make you feel better.
More than anything, in my own personal opinion and experience, the best thing for mental health is to read and listen to the bible. Doing so has made me understand, and recognize so many things about my own bad habits, and attitudes.
I realize not all people are believers in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and respect that we all have free will, and the right to make our own choices.
In the past few years the bible has taught me many things. It teaches us to have faith, which takes away worry, anxiety and fear. It tells us to avoid anger, envy and strife. These things bring peace of mind.
The bible teaches us to repent, and seeks God’s grace and forgiveness in our own life. It gives us the capacity to forgive others. It teaches us about renewal. We are new creatures in Christ, and there is continual renewal, as we go through our spiritual journey. We can let go of our own sins, and the sins of others, because each day is a new day. The past gets pruned away. Yes we are shaped by our past, but we can let go of the faulty parts, and replace them with functionality.
It changes our worldview. We know God has a plan. We are instructed to trust in God. We are told not to have fear, and are assured He has blessed us with a sound mind.
You can listen to preachers preach sermons. Some of them are very good, and give us greater insight. But there is nothing like listening to the bible. The entire New Testament is filled with love, encouragement, wisdom, and good advice.
It covers everything from addiction, to tribulation, to being persecuted, to overcoming the fear of death. There is no counselling or secular solution to spiritual needs. We are spiritual beings. We can find peace in nature, and in relaxation, but we cannot fill the spiritual void, or hunger that seeks the sanctity of God.
We rely on the power of words because we have God-given intellect. Words are the baseline for every thought that crosses our mind. God’s word is light, hope, and love combined. We cannot be isolated if we are immersed in God’s word, because He is with us, and we are with Him.
I realize there are people who become sick with religious delusions. Some people think they are getting commands from God. We learn based on what is written in the bible. We are comforted and guided by the Holy Spirit.
We are never given commands by God to cause harm. Nor are we given commands about anyone else’s life. Not long ago I watched a YouTube video where this woman insisted that God told her that her husband was a killer.
Throughout the interview she kept insisting her husband was a killer, and then she would describe the way he looked at her. She said he was having an affair. She claimed to have seen demons in their bedroom.
She had been married for twelve years or so, and it sounds like the marriage was falling apart. Even though she kept saying God told her he was a killer – the guy never killed anyone. He was never abusive toward her physically or verbally. Yet she kept insisting that God told her he was a killer, therefore in her mind, it meant he was a killer.
She was delusional. God does not make false accusations, or give people information like that. The Holy Spirit might warn us in subtle ways. Discernment tells us this was not a true Christian experience, because it was simply not true. Not only does God not give people commands, He is not a liar, or a false accuser either.
I believe the source of this woman’s delusions stem from the difficulty she faced admitting to a failed marriage. She came from a Christian family strongly devoted to the church. Marriage was supposed to be for life. She was seeking a way to explain it, so she did not have to take any responsibility for whatever caused her marriage to fail. It is not about blame, but rather, it is about the fact that all marriages require an exchange between two people.
Perhaps she missed certain cues. Perhaps she made the wrong choice in the first place. Sometimes marriages don’t work out for whatever reasons. Each person has a role, but like it is with all things, they can repent, forgive, and move on. No one can force a person to stay married to them if they don’t want to.
She ended up getting divorced, and thankfully her husband did not threaten, stalk, or give any indication he would harm her.
I was surprised to read in the comment section on her story, how many people believed and supported her claims. The story was not fair to her husband. There are warnings in the bible about people who deceive themselves, and others, when they claim to be speaking for God.
We have to test all spirits, and all directives we are given, with what it says in the bible. We are not supposed to make false accusations. That does not mean we ignore warning signs, red flags, and our intuition. We don’t blindly trust someone who is having an affair, and has been lying about it.
If someone says “God told me such and such” it is a red flag. But if someone says they read about such and such in the bible, then we know it is God’s word, not the person attributing their own thoughts to be from God. We also know that if a person is cruel, threatening or deceptive – it is not of God.
The bible provides the nutrients for our mind, emotions and spirit, therefore it is the optimal support for mental health.
The fruits of the spirit can be found in Galatians 5:22
More than three thousand people have died in nightclub fires around the world. In counting up these numbers, the death toll is at 3,139, and the number of people injured is 5,602. Most of these fires happened since 1940, with the most recent one on January 1st, 2026.
The entire world is in shock and mourning the horrific events that unfolded during a New Years eve celebration in the Swiss Alps. The victims are all young, and were basically trapped, when a deadly fire was lit by sparkler candles being held close to flammable insulation in the ceiling.
The situation was made worse because of a lack of fire extinguishers, recognition of the extreme danger, and the lack of a rapid evacuation. Several hours of alcohol consumption might have clouded the assessment of danger, and survival instincts. The fire spread rapidly across the ceiling. The victims had no way of knowing toxic gasses were being released, or that it could lead to a flash over fire within a couple of minutes.
A flash over fire is when a fire spreads at lightening speed, triggering the release of combustible gasses that ignite violently. The temperatures reach 1000F-2300F acting as an incinerator, burning everything inside the building. The victims would have suffered airway injuries, smoke inhalation, and a loss of visibility, in addition to massive burns.
Of the 119 injured more than 80% of them are in critical condition in ICU’s and burn units throughout Europe. One of the doctors giving an update said the critically injured were facing around nine months in ICU.
Burn recovery is one of the most difficult to endure. There is infection, hydrotherapy, painful debridement of wounds, contractures, skin grafts, and often disfigurement. For so many young people to go from optimal health to such a tortuous and prolonged recovery, is heartbreaking.
The young people had just a couple minutes to get out. The place was packed, and there was only one narrow stairway as a known exit, so people ended up piling on top of, and crushing each other. Apparently there was another exit, but it was blocked. Some people managed to break windows to get out.
There will be much more information released in the coming weeks, and months. It is reported the bar is owned by a middle-aged couple between forty and sixty years old. Apparently, they purchased, and renovated it ten years ago. They also own other establishments nearby.
At least one of the owners was present that night, because it was reported she escaped with burns to her arm. As a co-owner of the club, she would have known about the sparklers, and been a witness to what was going on. The fact she got out safely, while so many lost their lives, or suffered catastrophic injuries, will also come under intense scrutiny.
The backgrounds and history of this couple who owned the bar, is also starting to be revealed. Whatever wealth and prestige they enjoyed, is likely to be over, and tied up in the courts for many years. Criminal charges are also a possibility, depending on what is learned during the investigation.
For certain, they will be answering to a grief stricken, and angry public. Many parents are facing their worst nightmare, knowing vibrant young children are now dead, missing, or intubated in an ICU, facing uncertain futures.
Such a tragedy has massive rippling effects, and in addition to ending lives, it has changed so many lives. Young healthy kids on a ski vacation, with all their excitement, busy lives, and upcoming plans – shattered in a matter of minutes.
The recovery time for burn patients is an agonizing burden to bear. The PTSD and loss of loved ones, will be seared into their conscience for the rest of their lives. The horror, and terror they experienced is beyond comprehension. So many parents do not know where their child is, as the authorities painstakingly identify bodies through dental records, and DNA.
In spite of the shock and torment so many are experiencing, there is s determination to find out all the details leading up to the tragedy. People who have been impacted understandably want answers.
We can look back to various locations throughout the world where nightclub fires occurred, in order to evaluate some of the common causes.
Wikipedia has a list of over seventy nightclub fires worldwide since 1929. In ninety seven years, we can count seventy two notable nightclub fires. They have been happening far too often, averaging one every year and three or four months.
Just looking at an overview, it appears the common mistakes contributing to death rates, and multiple injuries included negligence of fire codes, and blocked exits, in addition to the cause of fire. Flammable decorations combined with open flames, inside a packed and essentially locked, alcohol fuelled environment – what could possibly go wrong? Everything.
The danger has incremental elements, meaning night after night the club operates without incident. But the law of probability, and risk of fire, increases with every night that goes by. The owners rake in the profits. The authorities turn a blind eye, assuming nothing will happen.
It is like those horror films where you see what is going on behind the scenes, but the unsuspecting victims have no idea. There might be a footstep, explained away as the cat jumping off the bed. Then a creaking floorboard, a cold draft, and gradually the danger sneaks up with no overt signs, or clarity, just waiting for the moment to become a jarring reality. All warning signs are passed off as being hyper vigilant, or waved off as minor, with plausible explanations.
Just speculating on when this place was being renovated. Was the ceiling on the low side? Well as long as it squeaks by an inspection, we will still be good to open. Perhaps the project was hastened through good connections, and a bit of back scratching. Was the insulation potentially flammable? Maybe, but its cheap, and does the job. Was the stairway wide enough? Well, as long as a person can go up, while another is coming down, then it is wide enough. Ok we are good to go…crank up the music.
Meanwhile, running a parallel to the club music, is the horror film music, with its gradual and ominous build up of suspense. Running in the background, is the dissonance, the unpredictable rhythms, and the dynamic shifts. The door is creaking louder. No. The door is now chained shut – and it is not the cat who is responsible.
The complacency is contagious, providing a numbing effect, and dumbing down of all those responsible, regarding the powder keg they are sitting on. It is a popular spot. People love it. Crowds are common. Night after night goes by with no major adverse events. So, let it continue – status quo, and quid pro quo.
Fire regulations, checking for risks, keeping exits clear, staff training, and safety protocols become secondary, and are ignored in favour of day to day operations geared to maximize profits. Fun is greater than fire, until the party becomes engulfed by the inferno, with nowhere to run.
Why are these common denominators being repeated over and over in various locations throughout the world? As humans, don’t we learn anything from these dreadful scenarios?
Before the indoor smoking bans, cigarettes were a significant hazard. In recent years smoking was banned in bars and nightclubs, so then what did they do? They brought in a variety of pyrotechnics, fire works and sparklers to entertain people.
To top it off, they continue to block exits, to prevent people from coming and going without paying, or letting their friends in I suppose. Or perhaps it is to try and keep a more accurate head count, all without regard for common sense, basic safety or fire regulations.
Just glancing through the list, it looks like draperies, decorations, smoking, and pyrotechnics have been a common cause of deadly nightclub fires. Out of what is listed on the Wikipedia page, a shocking thirteen of the fires have been attributed to arson. Several are undetermined causes, and at least a half a dozen attributed to electrical problems.
To recap some of the deadliest nightclub fires in history, and give the causes, it might open our minds to the dangers involved, especially if there are incendiary substances present.
Most importantly, the public needs to be aware of the dangers involved. People who go to packed nightclubs should carefully assess, and check the exits to see if they are blocked or locked. Patrons should be able to demand that the exits are not blocked, locked or chained. Owners should not have the option to lock fire exits under any circumstance.
One of the strange ironies surrounding the fire in the Swiss Alps, is that Switzerland is a neutral, and peaceful country, considered to be one of the most stable in the world.
It was not a terrorist attack, yet the results are comparable to attacks of war. For the Christians who are praying for the victims, we know there is spiritual warfare all around us. We do not know how, why, or when it will rear its head, and strike a crowd, until it happens.
The Rhythm Club fire happened in 1940 in Natchez Mississippi. At the time, it was the worst nightclub fire in US history, with a death toll of 209 people, along with 200 injuries.
The event was a barn dance held for African Americans, and was packed with around 750 people. There was only one exit that was partially obstructed, leading to massive crush injuries as people desperately tried to escape.
The barn was a wood structure, and they used Spanish moss as a decoration, which had been sprayed with a petroleum based insecticide called Flit. The insecticide made the decorations extremely combustible, and the amount of Spanish moss caused an immediate spread of the fire throughout the entire building.
The windows and back door were blocked or chained, effectively trapping people. It is believed the fire was started by a discarded lit cigarette.
Just two years later in 1942, the Cocoanut Grove fire in Boston, became the worst fire, with 492 deaths, and 130 injuries. Cocoanut Grove had been a popular nightclub attraction since the 1920’s.
The fire is said to have been started when a waiter lit a match so he could see in order to change a blown light bulb. The match was being held near a paper palm tree, which caught fire, and spread rapidly. However there are conflicting reports as to the cause of the fire, and it is listed as undetermined. Some reports point to a refrigerant gas leak.
A movie about the Cocoanut Grove fire called Six Locked Doors was filmed in the aftermath of this fire. Once again people were trapped, and could not get out. Numerous fire code violations were cited. The details of the horror faced by the people who were there will never be forgotten. Some described the fire as being demonic, like it was coming up in great swells, and chasing people.
Once you start to delve into the number of nightclub fires, there are far too many to cover in a single article. It seems almost every country in the world has had nightclub fires to include Brazil, China, Ireland, Sweden, South Korea, Belgium, USA (several), Russia, Romania, and Canada as just some examples.
On October 30, 2015 at the Colectiv nightclub in Bucharest, Romania, 64 people died, and 160 were injured. The event was featuring the band Goodbye to Gravity, who were celebrating their new album Mantras Of War. The cause of the fire was pyrotechnic fireworks used by the band for special effects. Once again, flammable acoustic foam caused rapid spread of the fire.
The band had just finished playing the song “The Day We Die” when the fire broke out. Several of the band members died in the fire.
Perhaps we should question if nightclubs are among the most unsafe places to spend an evening. Every time one of these fires occurs, there is an outcry to ban pyrotechnics, and to follow fire safety protocols. Yet within a year or two, there is another disaster.
After some time passes, and the headlines fade, only the victims are left to wear the grief and scars of a fire a decade or two ago. Soon complacency creeps up, and profit supersedes human lives. And it happens again.
In all cases, evacuations were slowed during precious minutes of lost opportunities for escape. In several of the fires, patrons initially mistook the fire for special effects. Others took out their phones to film the flames.
Doorways were blocked, or locked. There was a lack of sprinklers or fire extinguishers. In some cases security guards or bouncers blocked the exits. Exits or stairwells were too few, and too narrow, leading to bodies piling up, trampling each other, and causing suffocation, or crushing injuries.
When doors or windows were finally opened, the rush of air fed the flames. In some cases, emergency vehicles were blocked by crowds and chaos. People suffered severe injuries falling or jumping from windows.
In almost all cases, there was negligence in fire codes, regulations and inspections. Deadly gasses were released from the burning acoustic foam, leading to explosions, and poisonings, sometimes with the release of cyanide.
Some of these fires were caused by arson. The fire in Gothenburg, Sweden October 29, 1998 was initially set up as a party, which the organizers said was a birthday party for 50 people. They lied, so they would be able to rent the place.
They went on to advertise the party, selling 375 tickets to high school students, far exceeding the building’s capacity. In that fire, 63 young teenagers died, and 213 were injured.
The fire was caused by arson. Four young people set the fire in an act of revenge, apparently thinking it would trigger an evacuation, and end the party. They did so because they knew the organizers, and believed they should get free tickets to the event. When they were denied the free tickets, they set furniture on fire that was stored in the basement, which then spread throughout the building.
They were given three year sentences, which was the maximum sentence for youth at the time. However, they will have to live with the guilt for the rest of their lives. No doubt they too, lost friends or family members in the fire.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Some of the top concerns this past year have been around land claims, the Israel conflict, rising cost of living, rising government debt, deteriorating health care, and the increasing use of AI.
None of these things have easy answers, other than to let us know there seems to be increasing instability in many areas. World peace is not happening. In fact there are now twice as many armed conflicts compared to fifteen years ago. Recent stats show there are 130 armed conflicts throughout the world.
Things we once thought were secure investments such as owning a home, are no longer certain. Some pundits are predicting financial crisis and banking collapses.
In Canada, for many years we could rely on our health care system. Now there is a sobering realization that we may not be able to get health care at all. At least 30% of people in BC, Canada do not have a family doctor.
For those who go to the ER for health related issues, the wait list can be many hours, even for serious health concerns. People are relying on ER visits for cancer diagnostics. We can no longer rely on the systems we once took for granted.
Instead of health care, people are being offered MAID for chronic pain, terminal illnesses, and a variety of other reasons. I have been following a woman who is documenting her stage 4 cancer diagnosis on YouTube. She is from the US, and travels between New York, Seattle and Alaska.
She has done several videos on being palliative, and gets state of the art treatment in New York. Yet as a palliative patient, she is travelling, driving, and returns to Alaska in the summers to go cycling, hiking, kayaking, and believe it or not – axe throwing.
I have never heard of axe throwing, but that is exactly what it means. You throw an axe at a target, getting it to stick into the wood. I don’t think I could have done that when I was in my twenties, let alone as an end of life cancer patient.
After watching one of her videos about her end of life, palliative cancer situation, I thought she looked very healthy in spite of it all. She talked about doing a lot of strenuous outdoor activities, which is difficult to do if you are sick.
So I skipped ahead eight months to a more recent video, and she looked much the same. She was still doing all the activities she loved to do. Most of her end of life scenarios were based on what could happen, or what might happen. She became very emotional when she talked about the possibility of a painful death. She described all these potential scenarios in graphic detail. But they were not happening “yet”.
Fortunately for her, none of those horrific death stories were on her doorstep. She continues to do well. She also continues to go for multiple diagnostics, and selective treatments. In Canada, this would not be an option.
In the US though, they are likely to keep a person on the hook until their insurance, their money, or their life runs out. I know it sounds cynical, but cancer treatment is big business. It is also filled with uncertainty. Listening to this woman, every nuance is a potential spread of the cancer. In many cases, she goes through several scans that really don’t give any definitive results.
The tumour markers are up one day, and down two weeks later. Every change is monitored and discussed at length. She spends a few months in New York getting the best care, and then goes back to Alaska to enjoy the summer. I really do hope she continues to lead an active life, and maybe even is cured. But I would not describe any of what she is experiencing as being palliative, or end of life care. It is more like ongoing monitoring.
In Canada though, our systems are failing us. Not entirely. Hopefully we will see some improvements, but overall there are some valid concerns. If there is a continuing deterioration of the health care system, we will have to accept that it cannot be relied upon at all. We will have to go back to the days of the wagon train. Pioneers, and pilgrims looking for cures in old fashioned remedies.
Was all the land in Canada really stolen from the Indigenous people? Then why did they sell farms, and properties to people, leading them to believe they were actually purchasing a house or land? Why did they develop land title registries, and mortgages for houses and land, if it was stolen land? How many countries in the world do not have legitimate land, and property ownership? The answer is very few.
How many countries have extremely lax euthanasia laws? Again, the answer is – very few.
All of these negative trajectories are beyond our control. We can lean on certain elements of self care, and home remedies. But we have no control over the systems we once relied upon.
Perhaps the increase in AI is one of the biggest threats. On one hand it is a useful tool. If you want to look up certain stats, or gardening information, or how to clean a certain textile, it is useful. If you need quick information, it beats the old fashioned library research.
If you prefer self check-outs instead of real cashiers, the automation is easily accepted. But when it comes to doctors appointments, how can AI replace human interaction, or in-person examinations?
We need to sharpen our discernment. This applies to everything from phishing emails, to scam phone calls, to what we are seeing in the media, and on YouTube. A high percentage of it is deception, often geared toward creating a subtle change in our perception. It is almost like a test run to ascertain levels of gullibility.
On YouTube there has been a marked rise in AI generated videos. The common ones are of children and babies talking like miniature adults. A one year old might tell an airline stewardess that his dad is single. There are many AI generated videos of small children scolding dogs for eating their snack.
They crop up in batches. Suddenly there is an influx of twins. Twins going to meet newborn siblings who are also twins. Toddlers crying about the arrival of twins. We see toddlers talking about sex education. We also see a disproportionate number of triplets, as if they are commonly seen.
In reality, the chance of having one set of twins is around 3%. Two sets of fraternal twins is less than 1% chance. Two sets of identical twins is very rare. Triplet births are also very rare at around 0.1% So it does not ring true to suddenly see non-stop videos showing twin births, triplets, and double sets of identical twins. Children under the age of two, do not speak like adults. In fact, children do not start using full sentences until they are two or older.
Why are they doing this? Children are cuter without the contrived fictional images of them. Before all of this, there were real kids who gained 80-100 million views over something a parent filmed.
One was a situation where a little girl about three years old, was trying to explain to her dad why she was not a princess. She told him she did not look like a princess, and did not have shoes, bangles or a crown like a princess did. Nor did she have a chariot, or live in a castle.
Basically, she was telling her dad to stop calling her a princess, which was priceless in how she went about it. She was patiently explaining the contradiction as she saw it, with the insight, and candid expressions of an innocent child.
Other common recent AI themes, are of wild animals attacking people. You know these are AI generated because they will show a woman loading groceries into a hatchback car. A lion, pack of wolves, tiger, or a bear shows up out of nowhere, and the woman, at the last second jumps into the open hatchback, and closes the door in the nick of time.
We know these are memes because they show the same hatchback idea, with attacks by various different animals. In one of them it is a tiger. The next one is an elephant, then a pack of wolves. It is like the hatchback urban jungle horror series of AI clickbait.
If something like that actually happened, it would be a one time event, not the same event depicting attacks by a variety of animals.
These videos themes also centre around the elderly, and infants encountering wild animals. Why so much focus on animal encounters? I think most of it could be viewed as innocuous entertainment. Or it could be fear mongering, because people who are fearful, are easier to control.
But overall, it could mean we are being prepared to accept false imagery, and memes as reality. Even more disturbing, is the blurring of lines between what is real, and what is fiction. Did that really happen? Who knows?
Will they start showing miraculous wonders from the sky? Or massive AI generated sink holes? Or riots, fires, and war images that are totally fake? It is certainly possible.
If you transfer these same concepts to what we are being told about many other topics, the need for discernment is even more obvious. It is almost at the point where we have to filter everything we see, or read. Deception is rising faster than inflation.
Do we really believe the ultra rich became rich because they never went to Starbucks for a coffee? Or that Warren Buffet bought a forty acre farm at the age of fourteen by selling chewing gum during the Great Depression?
I just don’t buy it. After listening to many of his videos, I do agree that he has a vast amount of knowledge about investing in the stock market. In some of those videos, he spoke of his father losing his job as a stockbroker during the depression. However, his father was a US Congressman until 1952, and started his own brokerage firm. So it does not make sense to me that Warren Buffet went through hard times as a child.
Not all people have a mind, or the motivation to seek riches. Some try for years, and lose it all. Others make great gains. The stock market is volatile. Timing is everything. Those who built large portfolios in the eighties, compared to those who are starting to invest now, face very different circumstances.
In fact, some of the large portfolios so carefully constructed in previous decades, may not be safe in today’s markets. I listened to a famous Canadian investment adviser, and wondered. He starts his videos with scathing comments toward the poor. He goes on to make grandiose claims about his prowess, brilliance, wisdom, and all knowing scope of financial planning. The arrogance is so beyond the pale, it is impossible to listen to.
We have to be discerning, skeptical and downright cynical of some of this hubris. The lessons to take away may not be what people truly want to hear.
As Christians, we are told about the perils surrounding the love of money, and pride.
1 Timothy 6:10
10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Notice it says it is the love of money, not money itself, or the accumulation of wealth, that is the root of all evil. Not only do we see examples of this around us in the present day, but history is full of examples to reinforce this concept.
We are also instructed to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
Matthew 10:16
16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
We are all guilty of having pride, myself included. We can only examine ourselves honestly, repent, and ask for forgiveness. Pride comes in many forms, to include the way we treat others. It is human nature to seek superiority, often as a defensive measure, or to cover feelings of inferiority.
If we think this way, there is always someone above us, and someone else who is below us. We envy those who we perceive to be above us, and look down upon the lesser human beings.
Yet the bible warns us about pride. Pride will cause our downfall if we do not repent and change our attitudes.
Some of the most damning hierarchies are found within prisons. The drug dealer sees himself as superior to the murderer. The murderer is above the child molester. Those with more muscle and brawn, can dominate, and protect their peers. Weakness is a trait that no one wants to achieve.
The bible, in the words of Jesus, tells us the opposite of what our carnal world has conditioned us to believe.
When we read the words “the meek shall inherit the earth” it is almost incomprehensible. Here we are with a government that is claiming the Indigenous people own most of the land.
The 1% of the corporate elite own more than 40% of the world’s wealth. Yet God is telling us the meek shall inherit the earth! He is also telling us the last shall be first.
Matthew 20:16
16 So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen.
According to these instructions we are to forsake the love of money, pride, and deception. We are to pray for, and exercise discernment. The bible contains many warnings about being deceived.
Once we recognize all these things, and repent of our own false pride, deception and whatever else drags us down, we have hope. Not just for the upcoming year, but hope for all eternity, and a foundation of faith to take us through whatever troubled waters are ahead of us.
The just shall live by faith. Every time I feel uncertain or anxious, I remind myself of these words.
Romans 1:17
17 For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.
It seems to be increasingly obvious that we cannot place our faith, or hope in what is happening in the world. Nor do we know the full extent of God’s plan, and how the events will unfold. Faith is believing in what we cannot see, or even prove.
As a result of our faith in God’s word, and in our belief in what Jesus did when He came to save us from our sin, we have hope. We do not have hope based on tangible things or wealth. We have hope based upon our faith.
31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Romans 15:13
13 Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.
For believers, these are just some of the amazing promises of God. We are recipients of these promises based on God’s grace, not anything we can do to deserve His grace.
We do not need to strive for money, prestige, dominance, or even justice. We just need to humble ourselves, believe in Jesus, repent, and forgive others as we have been forgiven.
The harms arising from the complexities and deceptions of this world, is not our battle to fight, other than what God gives to us to do, as humble servants. His word is far more valuable than any earthly treasure.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2026). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Warren Buffet is an enigmatic man of extreme wealth with an intrinsic knowledge of how the stock market works. He combined this knowledge with certain principles, and teaches what appears to be sound ideas around saving, researching companies, living modestly, cultivating patience, and many other reasonable sounding values.
As a disclaimer, obviously I know nothing about his personal life, other than what is reported in the various magazine and newspaper articles. I have also listened to several of his own videos, in which he describes his values, background, and promotion of coca-cola.
Although it is reported that he came from humble beginnings, his father was a US Congressman, and also had his own brokerage firm. So one would assume Warren Buffet had an early introduction to how the stock market works. Depending on one’s perspective, this would not be viewed as a humble beginning by the average person, especially given the fact he was born in 1930.
For the average person, a Congressman father who owned a brokerage firm, is not something we grew up with. This is especially so for those who grew up during the depression, and mid-century post war era. A bright young person who is immersed in the behind the scenes workings of a brokerage firm, is likely to learn a great deal.
Most of us do not have a clear understanding of the inner workings of the stock market, other than knowing it can be volatile and unpredictable. It can also create portfolios of extreme wealth for certain people.
From the 1930’s to the 1950’s millions of young men in North America were forced to leave home with little more than the shirt on their backs, in search of work as labourers, just to survive. The depression era was especially harsh. Yet at age fourteen, it is reported that Warren Buffet had saved enough to buy a forty acre farm, even though he was born in 1930.
He also had the benefit of a post secondary education, and worked for a period of time in his father’s investment company, before starting his own company. In the early years when his father was first elected to the US Congress, the pay would have been much less than it is now, but comparable in value, to what it is today.
At this point in time, a US Congressman earns around $200,000 USD a year, along with expenses and other perks. If combined with owning an investment firm, the earnings may not be in the billions initially, but would be considered rich by most standards, and viewed as being born into privilege.
In addition, his father would have been positioned politically and financially, to take advantage of the lucrative post war financial opportunities. Apparently by 1952, he did not seek reelection, and chose to focus on his investment firm. He died thirty years before his wife died. It appears she inherited a massive stock portfolio, which she left to her children.
It is not considered a fault or a weakness to be born into privilege, but it does give the person far more opportunities and stability, in order to become financially successful. Most people who are born into privilege for some reason, do not want to admit it. Or they downplay it, or leave it out of their bios entirely.
The other contradiction, is the claim that he still lives in the modest home he bought in 1958. It certainly does point to conservative values, and long term stability. But in the 1950’s a gorgeous 6,570 square foot house, on three quarters of an acre, in the nicest area of Omaha, Nebraska – was not a modest home, by any standards. Even today, it would be considered a mansion by most standards.
For the average person, in the 1950’s a modest home was around 1,000 square feet, usually with an unfinished basement. People would wait, and save for ten or twenty years to finish the basement. In the 1960’s wall to wall carpet became a sought after upgrade. When someone got wall to wall carpet, or finished their basement, it was the talk of the town.
He is well known for his philanthropy, yet the largest donation he ever gave was not to the poor and the homeless, but rather it was to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
However, Warren Buffet showed much generosity toward his two sisters over the years. When their father died in 1964, he removed himself from the will so his sisters could get his portion of the inheritance, which is reported to have been $184,000. In today’s money that would be around $1.8 million. The bulk of the inheritance would have gone to their mother. So clearly, Warren Buffet’s father was a wealthy man. He was also politically connected, which makes a difference.
His father died at the age of sixty after a lengthy illness, possibly cancer. His mother died at the age of ninety-two. She remarried after her first husband’s death.
Both of his sisters became very wealthy as well, and they did contribute a great deal of their wealth to various causes. They helped the poor, set up educational foundations, domestic violence support systems, and contributed to numerous charities. Much of their charitable work was supported, and encouraged by Warren Buffet. It was clear early in their lives that he wanted to see his sisters succeed, and do well.
He was also quick to acknowledge that the world of high finance is a man’s world. When their mother died in 1996, she left a massive fortune to her children. Her daughter Doris gave over 200 million to charities. The exact sum of the inheritance is unknown.
Although his earlier family background was Presbyterian, apparently he now describes himself as agnostic.
From a health and wellness perspective, many of his values surrounding self discipline are incongruent. Yet he is ninety five years old, so obviously for him, it does not matter what he eats or drinks. He joked about eating like a six year old, with daily trips to McDonalds, and five twelve ounce cans of coca-cola per day.
In fact, he has been a strong investor of coca-cola for decades. He attributes it to his longevity. This goes against the grain of what we have learned about healthy living, but to each his own.
Throughout the day, he alternates between regular coke and cherry coke. Each twelve ounce can, or bottle, has ten teaspoons of sugar. As I have mentioned in earlier posts, most of us have some kind of addictive tendencies.
In addition to the coke, he typically eats breakfast at McDonalds, and lunch at Dairy Queen, with a preference for hamburgers, sausages, and potato fries. He is also reported to have a diet very high in salt. In addition to the coke, apparently he indulges in lots of candy. Ironically, he did not end up with sugar blues.
His longevity must be related to genetics, disposition, and an ability to manage stress. On the healthier side, he is known to be an avid reader, a devoted bridge player, abstained from alcohol and tobacco, and sleeps eight hours a night.
Now that he is ninety five years old, and has accumulated more wealth than he can ever use, even if he eats his breakfast at a five star epicurean restaurant every day, surely he must wonder what will happen when he dies. Hopefully he will go back to his Christian roots, and start reading the bible.
The motivations surrounding the accumulation of extreme wealth are in some ways commendable, and in some ways pointless, or hedonistic and short-lived. He realizes the US dollar has lost its stability over the years, and is no longer the global leader it once was. He has witnessed the confidence draining, and the shifting to other currencies for more stability.
Historically what Warren Buffet has witnessed, and experienced, is an important documentation of the changes that have occurred in the past hundred years. Not only in the stock market, but political shifts, and in the almost certainty that what is behind us, is not always in the future. Predictable outcomes are on shifting sand.
The exponential increase of debt, combined with the printing of money as a short term solution, rather than finding ways to reduce or pay down the debt, is something to be concerned about for future generations.
What the bible says about accumulating wealth it is not appealing to most people. We measure our success or failure in life based on how much wealth we accumulate, which often leans heavily on coming from a wealthy and successful family.
In biblical history there are many rich men to include Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, King Solomon, and Job. Regardless, all of them faced difficulties along the way. Wealth in itself does not bring condemnation. It is based on the attitude toward one’s wealth and how it is used. It is important not to make wealth the focus of life, because not all people are destined to be wealthy. If our needs are met, we are very fortunate.
What seems clear is that we are not to worship or love money. We are advised to be generous, especially toward the poor. We are instructed to be generous toward our own family members. We are advised to work, not to be slack, and to be grateful for what we do have. It is not about abundance, but rather giving thanks for all things, and remaining humble if wealth increases.
Luke 6:38
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
Luke 12:15
15 And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.
Proverbs 10:4
4 He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.
19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Matthew 6:24
24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
17 But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?
1 Corinthians 2:9
9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
These are just some of the many, many verses that instruct us how to manage our attitude toward wealth.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2026). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I have never been a fan of taking excessive supplements, but I do use a lot of different types of teas, seeds, grains, etc. some of which can be used as supplements. Many supplements do have powerful medicinal compounds, and therefore should be treated, and taken with care.
Too much of a certain compound, or vitamin, can cause cardiac arrhythmias, excessive bleeding, liver toxicity, etc. So many people seem to think if something is natural, it can’t hurt you. But anything to excess can wreak havoc in our system.
There is much to be learned about supplements, to include spices, teas, seeds, and what we grow in the garden. Spices are great because when used to flavour food, they are diluted, and are seldom used to the extent they can cause harm.
When we start to bottle the supplements, or put them in gel caps, it is a good idea to know what we are putting in the caps, and roughly what the dosages are. We should know exactly what we are taking. Don’t just swallow a handful of supplements because they have glowing claims.
The primary reason I decided to make up some gel caps for a few things, is because some things taste and/or smell awful, so I do not want to use them for cooking, teas, smoothies etc.
The other reason is to carefully measure, and limit the amount to mcg. such as it is with kelp, in order not to get too much iodine. It is also important to be aware that supplements are poorly regulated, and in some cases, it is difficult to know exactly what is in those capsules.
Ajwain seeds have multiple anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-inflammatory properties, but in my opinion they taste awful. Even though some people soak them to make Ajwain infused water, I think I would rather put it in a gel cap.
A few of the worst tasting things can be choked down with a bit of honey, followed by water. But of all things, kelp is the worst tasting, and the most likely to stick in your throat, or leave a lingering gross taste. I tried mixing a bit of it with Matcha tea, but it was overpowering.
The thing about kelp, is that the level of iodine is unknown. It depends on where it is collected from, and varies from place to place, as well as the time of year it was collected.
The kelp I bought has the botanical name Ascophyllum nodosum, and is gathered from Atlantic Canada. Kelp is most known for its thyroid boosting compounds.
The iodine content in the Atlantic Canada kelp ranges from 480-700 mcg./gm. Our daily iodine requirement is only around 150 mcg. to 300 mcg. for breast feeding moms.
Therefore, although kelp is a very good source of iodine, potassium, and calcium, it should be used sparingly. Given the raunchy taste and smell, and need for small amounts, it is a good candidate for putting into gel caps, which is something I have never tried before.
I can share the learning experiment thus far. I bought a kit off Amazon and 100 size 0 capsules. At first I was just going to buy three or four of the small instruments with a spoon, and a tamper, but the kit was only a few dollars more.
After filling a dozen or so capsules, the kit is a pretty good idea because it would be very difficult to fill them without the funnel, and the stand. The stand has holes for the various size capsules you can buy, so you can only put three at a time in the stand.
You place the longer part of the gel cap in the stand, and put the funnel on top of it. If you over fill the funnel, it clogs up. You also need the tamper tool to tamp the powder through the funnel into the gel cap. You have to be sure the cap is standing upright and the funnel is in straight.
A size 0 gel cap holds .4-.8 grams of powder, therefore you can be reasonably sure you will not be taking dangerously high levels of iodine.
Considering that when you buy powdered kelp, you get a fair bit of it in a package, which for some people makes it tempting to add to smoothies and even cookies, and muffins, but it is not to be used liberally.
As per a random Google check on kelp supplements, it gives the following information:
In addition to the expense of supplements, it is very difficult to know how they are regulated, and what is actually in them.
The kelp I bought for my experiment, and test of patience since it is rather fiddly to fill them, does not give any dosages, which is fair since no one seems to know because the amount of iodine varies so much in all kelp. I bought the following from OM Organic foods:
A quarter pound of kelp would fill hundreds of gel caps, and would take at least a full day to fill them all. Thankfully kelp is also very good for plants, so some of it can be used as plant food. A pound of kelp would fill thousands of gel caps.
I realize taste is highly subjective, and some people might like the taste of it, to add to smoothies, or salad dressings. But from my own perspective, I think it would ruin the taste of anything you added it to.
For certain beneficial compounds that cannot easily be used as a spice in food, or need to be carefully regulated like kelp, I think a DIY project is not a bad idea. You only need to take one cap a day, and could easily make up a months supply in a half hour or so. Like most things, once you do it for awhile, you get more efficient, and at least you know what is in them.
When I have more time, I will likely try powdered ajwain seeds, astragalus, and turmeric mixed with black pepper. The ajwain and astragalus both taste awful too, although few things are worse than kelp.
I like various types of seaweed in sushi, and dried snacks, but I think it must be a different brand, or have a lot of sodium mixed in, because the powdered kelp does not taste like those types of seaweed at all.
It is like trying to choke down stinky foul tasting beach dust with remnants of a dead star fish.
There is no way I could see myself filling hundreds of supplement capsules a day. But spending a bit of time to do thirty to fifty a week would be plenty. Most things can be steeped in a tea, including turmeric, because it comes in a root as well as a powder, which is fine in tea.
The other factor to keep in mind, is the ease of swallowing. If you get the smallest size capsules, they are the most finicky to fill. The largest size is 000 and the smallest is a 5. The size 0 cap is right in the middle of the scale. It is not too difficult to swallow, and large enough to fill without too much difficulty.
The whole gel cap kit of instruments comes in a plastic container, so it is easy to keep it all together, wash everything up, and put it away until the next batch. I suppose it might be tempting to grind and mix a few spices to create some tailor made supplements for flu season, or post dental treatments.
If you have a pantry full of herbs and spices, the possibilities are endless. If you have a dehydrator, it also enables you to dry and powder a variety of mushrooms and herbs.
There might be other uses for some of the instruments, especially for those who do micro-dosing of yeast when baking. Or they could be used for making natural skin care products, to add minute amounts of organic powders. Of the many little tools, and spoons in the kit, I only used a few of them to fill the size 0 capsules.
This article will probably get an update in a couple of months, when I have more experience. Stay tuned, and stay well during this busy time of year!
January Update – Now that I have filled more capsules, I find it easier and quicker to use the small spoon that came with the package of gel caps. The problem with using the stand and funnel, is the clogging of the funnel, and the fact you can only do three at a time.
If you hold the gel cap over the small bowl of what you are filling it with, you can fill the spoon, and fit it into the gel cap. Whether you use this method or the stand, you can only fill the gel cap about three quarters full, because once you put on the top of the capsule, there is still a bit of room.
If you use the spoon only, you have fewer steps, and can fill the cap easily because you can see when it is full. When using the funnel and stand, you have to remove the funnel to see if the capsule is full. When you are tamping the powder through the funnel, not only does it frequently clog, but it also tips the capsule, so it is not upright.
As a complete novice, no doubt there will be more to learn with experimentation. So far I made up the kelp, and ground Ajwain seeds, which are commonly used in East Indian foods. You can buy a large bag full of Ajwain seeds for less than $4.00. These seeds have many health benefits, even according to WebMD.
Ajwain seeds are very bitter tasting. They contain thymol and carvacrol as some of the potent active ingredients. In addition to being anti fungal, anti bacterial, and known for treating toothaches, they have a list of other potential benefits. They have liver protecting properties, as most bitter spices and foods do.
They are known for helping digestion, and relief of peptic ulcers, lowering blood pressure, and reducing inflammation. You can buy the seeds and grind them yourself, or you can buy ground Ajwain seeds in a powder form.
When used in food preparation, most recipes call for a small amount, typically just a pinch, or if it is a large dish, a teaspoon or so. For those of us who are not familiar with preparing East Indian food, or wish to take a small amount for medicinal purposes, putting the seeds in a gel cap makes sense. That way you do not have to deal with the pungent taste at all. I think it is reasonable to add a gram or so, in one capsule as a daily supplement.
I also made up some turmeric capsules mixed with ginger powder, along with a small amount of black pepper, and added some cayenne pepper for good measure. Turmeric requires the black pepper for bioavailability.
It is very important to be aware that turmeric should be avoided if you are taking certain medications. There is a fairly long list, so before taking turmeric supplements, look it up. It cannot be taken in conjunction with antacids, aspirin, insulin, BP medications, chemotherapy, and several other drugs.
If you do not take any of the listed medications, turmeric can be beneficial for arthritis, as an antimicrobial, and offers some cell damage protection.
The combination of turmeric, ginger, black pepper, and cayenne pepper, are spices commonly used in food preparation. When prepared in a supplement, the potential benefits are pain relief, blood pressure control, boosting immune function, and digestion, among other things.
As it is with all supplements, it is best to take them in small amounts, because many spices have fairly potent phytonutrients, and are not meant to be taken in large doses. The ginger, turmeric capsules have less than a half gram of each ingredient, with a pinch of the two peppers. I have been taking one capsule twice daily.
The other supplement I made up is a green powder mixture containing nettle, alfalfa, dulce, moringa, chlorella, spirulina, and beet root. This powder is sold as something to use in smoothies, but I find the taste to be too overpowering, and unpleasant to mix with anything.
The health benefits contained in minute amounts of the list of ingredients are impressive. Nettle is something you can use for tea. It does not have an offensive taste by itself. It has anti inflammatory properties, as well as improving urinary and prostrate issues.
Alfalfa has immune boosting properties, aids blood clotting, contains vitamins A, C & K as well as several other benefits. It is not commonly seen on store shelves, but you can order it by itself online.
Moringa is referred to in the Book of Exodus 15:20-25
25 And he cried unto the LORD; and the LORD shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them,
It does not specifically say it is a Moringa tree they used to purify the water to make it drinkable. The reason it is believed to be Moringa in the Book of Exodus, is because the wood from the tree has been scientifically proven to remove impurities from water. It acts as a natural anti coagulant clumping impurities together, to make water drinkable. The location referred to in the bible, is also where this type of tree grows.
The health benefits of Moringa are significant to include heart, blood pressure, anti inflammatory, improved digestion, bone health, and protective properties against cancer, and cell damage.
Spirulina and chlorella are types of algae, but with different nutrient profiles. Both are rich in various vitamins and minerals, and are considered super foods. I think the reason the green powder mixture has a strong taste, is because of the algae.
Beet root is another powerhouse nutrient, which can be bought in powdered form by itself if you want to. The health benefits include reducing blood pressure, anti inflammatory, antioxidants, heart, brain and liver health, and multiple vitamins and minerals.
The OM Greens Powder Blend seems like it would make a good supplement, especially since several of the ingredients are so high in nutrients. Even if you take a few capsules a day, you would not likely be getting too much of any single ingredient. Of course if you have an adverse reaction, it makes it more difficult to isolate the cause. Otherwise, it seems to be a good mix for a general boost to health.
The next thing I might try, is a natural vitamin C compound using rose hips, elderberries, and perhaps a citrus powder.
There are so many excellent natural ingredients to help us be more proactive when it comes to managing our own health. As we age, we often get plagued with aches and pains, and chronic problems. Most prescription drugs have side effects, whereas if we are judicious in our use of natural ingredients, we can avoid those prescription drug side effects.
So far OM foods have been very good when it comes to packaging, and delivery. Their prices are reasonable, and they give good descriptions of each of the items listed. In many cases, we can simply use the spices we already have in the cupboard for cooking.
Supplements to a certain extent involve trial and error, so we can try them and see if we notice a difference. We can make up certain blends for flus and colds, or when we have dental procedures etc. If we don’t think there is a benefit, we can easily stop making them. We can start with small batches, to see if they seem beneficial, and to test for adverse reactions.
I don’t usually buy organic food, because it is so much more expensive, and not necessary. You can wash and peel vegetables. But when it comes to making up supplements, I think it is a good idea to use organic ingredients. Each type of powder you order will make hundreds of gel caps, or in some cases thousands. Depending on the taste, many of the powders can be used in food or tea as well.
Otherwise, if we tried to purchase a range of supplements, it would cost a fair bit, without knowing for sure what is in them, or how we will react to them.
I know some supplements are certified organic, and generally reliable, but they are also expensive, and cannot be purchased in small amounts to test for reactions, and benefits.
Another very important thing to pay attention to when embarking on this project, is to be sure you are not inadvertently buying plastic gelcaps. One would assume that most of them are made of gelatin. But sure enough, some of them are made of plastic, which is the last thing anyone wants to consume. You have to check what they are made of, and buy from a reputable source.
The first order had just 100 gelatin capsules purchased from Amazon. Then by mistake I bought some from a different source that turned out to be plastic (read the fine print). Thankfully I realized it very quickly because the capsules looked and felt like plastic. When I double checked, sure enough, they were plastic. Thankfully I did not ingest any of them, and only filled a few before it dawned on me.
So I have decided to try the OM Foods capsules, which are made of plant based cellulose and water. The size of them is 00, which is larger than the size 0 from Amazon, so I am not too sure if they will be on the large side when it comes to swallowing them.
Most of the gel caps on Amazon are made of bovine gelatin. Unless you are a vegetarian, or have specific allergies, these capsules are also safe to ingest. However, as with all things, there is a limit. It might be better to use some bovine gelatin, and some cellulose plant derived capsules, limiting the intake to 6-10 capsules a day at most.
Like all things we embark on for the first time, it does involve trial and error. Hopefully the next batch of gelcaps will be okay. I ground up some fennel seeds, oregano leaf, thyme and a few bay leaves, to make an antimicrobial winter supplement, but will have to wait for the new gelcaps.
When doing this, you have to double check, and be aware of things you cannot, or should not put into your supplement capsules. As I mentioned earlier, some things, like turmeric, cannot be taken if you are on certain medications.
There are also certain things you should not take if you are prone to kidney stones. Anything high in oxalates, which includes beet root powder, and powdered leafy greens. Apparently Moringa contains insoluble oxalates, which the body excretes without absorbing.
Never take comfrey root orally, and carefully check all natural ingredients to make sure they are compatible if you are mixing them. You also have to make sure an ingredient is not toxic in larger doses. Things like cloves, licorice root, nutmeg, cinnamon, brazil nuts, and several other natural foods or spices, must be used sparingly, and probably should not be put into supplement capsules at all.
There are several online sellers of supplements. YouTube has some well known people who call themselves doctors, and will sell supplements geared to various health concerns. If you read some of the testimonials, you will find out that some people became very ill from taking certain high priced concoctions.
In most cases, and for most of us, we know things like rosemary, oregano, thyme, and garlic are fine for cooking and supplements. We just have to keep in mind that all spices have phytonutrients, and often some very powerful compounds.
These plant based compounds are what gives the flavour, the aroma, and the health benefits. Many of them contain antimicrobial benefits that cannot be found in traditional antibiotics.
In addition, we all have different sensitivities, and can potentially react to something. So we have to be cautious, do our research, and monitor our reactions carefully.
It is a proactive approach to wellness, but we must keep in mind, this is a self researched, and self monitored aspect to taking care of our health. We should use caution. For those who buy supplements, the same thing applies.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2026). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Fraser Valley has a lot of rain and flooding this time of year. The farmers not only have to worry about evacuation, safety and transportation, but also have to take care of farm animals. For those who have lived on, or grown up on a farm, we know how much of a priority the animals are.
It is especially so for those who have milk cows, because rain or shine, you have to get the milking done.
Growing up on a farm in Alberta, I remember blizzards so intense, with drifting snow and zero visibility, we had to rig up a rope that went from the house to the barn, so we could find our way to the barn and back. You could freeze to death just going out to do the chores.
During another severe storm in late summer, the hail was so large, and the wind so violent, we had to take cover under the hay wagon. I grabbed a tin bucket to put over my head, to run to the house, but the noise was unbearable.
Years later, when I experienced acute cognitive dissonance, I recall thinking about, and comparing it to having a tin bucket over my head in a hail storm.
We also had thunder and lightening on the prairies like nothing I have ever experienced since. We feared getting hit by lightening. When lightening hit the lightening rod on the house, it made a crackling sound that would scare us. Although storms are not supposed to shake houses, it sure feels like they do.
On Haida Gwaii there were some very notable storms as well, sometimes reaching hurricane force gusts. Large trees were uprooted, and toppled over. After one of the storms, I walked to the local cemetery. A huge tree had been uprooted, and brought a coffin up with it.
During the time I was on Haida Gwaii there was what was referred to as “the storm of the century” in 2003. What made it so incredible was that it happened on Christmas Eve, and was at peak tide. Waves were crashing up against the door of the small house I was living in at the time.
Huge logs washed up on the highway blocking the traffic for several days. The wind was gusting to 75-100 mph and more, depending on where you were located. The power was out, and there was flying debris from shingles, to branches, and even trampolines blowing down hillsides. There were times I thought windows were going to cave in, or the roof might come off.
This afternoon was not the storm of the century, but it was gale force. The wind was gusting so much, even just stepping outside brought a formidable shock, quickly driving you back indoors. I don’t like being outside in wind like that. One time in Vancouver I nearly got hit by a large patio umbrella that came flying through the air.
Today it seemed like the heavens above were fiery and shaking. All across Canada, this is the time of year when storms rage around us. For some it is freezing winds, poor visibility, and drifting snow.
For us, it has been wet and blowing like crazy.
Let’s hope for calmer days ahead. The sky for a brief time this afternoon was a sight to behold.
Occult symbols and hand gestures are prevalent, sometimes used without a person’s awareness of what they mean, or represent. They might have seen a celebrity, or musician make those gestures, and just think it’s cool, so they use them as well. Those who are directly involved with witchcraft, or organizations steeped in the occult, would know what they mean.
But for the rest of us, we might innocently use a symbol, or wear a piece of jewelry, or even write a poem that some could construe as being occult. As far as “The Language Of The Flowers”, which was first published in the early 1800’s, and popularized during the Victorian era, I do not see anything sinister with associating certain flowers with meanings.
If we did so, we would be seeing something dark and sinister in what is beautiful. Of course flowers have meanings to different people, and in general. Roses are traditionally the symbol of love. Lilies are symbols of purity. The list goes on an on. Until recently I had no idea the daisy had occult meaning to some people. But to me it is a bright and cheerful flower. Flowers do not have motives. People do.
Most of us have our favourite flowers. Every country and province has a flower that grows there, and becomes a symbol of that countries special beauty.
Although Canada does not have a national flower, the maple leaf is our symbol. Ontario’s official flower is the white trillium. In British Columbia it is the Pacific Dogwood, and in Alberta it is the wild rose.
Japan’s national flower is the cherry blossom, and in England it is the Tudor Rose. In China, it is the peony, while in Iran, it is the water lily. Almost every country has a national flower, which seldom has anything to do with the occult.
Flowers are romanticized, bringing fragrance and memories to weddings, and all special occasions. Even though there may be special attributes, and even imaginary fairies wearing flower shaped hats, I do not classify the creative use, design, or flower imagery as being occult. I do not recall ever seeing any bible verses placing them in the category of graven images.
The only one that comes to mind is the lotus flower. It has meaning in Buddhism and Hinduism representing a spiritual journey, divinity, and prosperity. In yoga the lotus flower also has significant meaning, such as spiritual awakening, purity, and transcendence of self.
The adornment of flowers at special occasions should never be associated with the occult, even though almost all things can take on dark shadows, if certain people attribute off-beat meanings. Many flowers contain imagery of fairies, and make believe, just as lady bugs, and butterflies might be turned into fanciful characters in cartoons, and children’s movies.
When looking at the list of occult symbols, I was surprised to see the symbols for male and female on the list. These symbols are commonly used in hospitals, as shortened versions when recording a male or female birth. When I think back, I recall avoiding the use of those symbols, and used M or F instead, even though I had no idea they had any other meaning.
Another symbol on the list is the molecular symbol for water. We can see how the occult has hijacked many symbols, including the triangle, the spiral, and fleur-de-lis, along with a bunch of lines, and squiggles that mean nothing to the average person.
We are probably familiar with the eye inside a triangle, and the evil eye as occult symbols, as well as many different hand gestures.
There is a certain common hand gesture with middle fingers folded down, and the outside fingers extended, and the thumb folded inward to hold down the two middle fingers. This is the occult symbol representing the goat horns, or devil’s horns.
The American sign language hand gesture meaning “I love you” is similar to the goat horns symbol, but has a significant difference. The two middle fingers are folded down, but the thumb is not folded inward, but rather it is fully extended.
Another symbol such as when the thumb and forefinger are pinched together, was something I always thought meant “bon-appetit” for some reason. It is actually an Italian gesture meaning “ma che vuoi” or “what do you mean”. There is an emoji for this gesture, which is often used when one is frustrated or in disbelief, or asking “what do you want?”
There is another similar hand signal with the index finger, and thumb forming a circle, which means “okay”. I suppose that is where I thought the bon appetit, or good food idea came from. This symbol is also shown on the list of occult hand gestures.
I can honestly say, I had no idea what the differences were between the devil’s horns, and the I love you sign language. Nor did I know what the thumb and index finger symbols meant. It goes to show, we have to exercise caution when using emojis.
Another hand gesture associated with the occult, is when both hands are brought together to form a triangle, or pyramid symbol. It means “confidence, authority, calm, or deep thought”.
Using two hands to make a circle means “change comes from within”. A fully extended hand means “reach high”.
Hands clasped together with the index and middle fingers extended, means “bang bang” (how bizarre). Folding all fingers downward means “you have the power”. Hands open with the fingertips curled slightly means “never give up”. Just the index finger pointed means “make a point”. The forearm extended with the hand out, somewhat like a butler carries a platter means, “question everything”.
In addition to all the occult or secret hand signal messages, there are many others used by the freemasons, illuminati etc. Another one is the insertion of the hand inside a suit coat.
We have to keep in mind that we live in a world with conflicting spiritual forces all around us. If it turns out we were wearing a piece of jewelry, or using a hand gesture associated with the occult, we can always educate ourselves, stop and repent.
So far, I cannot find anything that associates the common thumbs up hand gesture with any occult meanings. It is simply a positive gesture, often indicating agreement, good job, or well done.
Since there are so many signs, symbols and hand gestures, we need to pray for discernment. We cannot know what all these things mean, unless we dabble in the occult, which is not a good idea.
However for those who are in design, graphic design, and especially for tattoo artists, it would be wise to become familiar with messages you may not want to be a part of. For those getting tattoos, they too should exercise caution, and look up the meanings of certain imagery.
The bible does not focus on hand gestures, or the specific symbols, but does refer to graven images. There are many verses in the bible forbidding witchcraft, sorcery, fortune-telling, divinations, and attempts to communicate with the dead. We should look to the warnings in the bible about these things, rather than try to memorize all the strange symbology around us.
31 Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God.
Leviticus 20:6
6 And the soul that turneth after such as have familiar spirits, and after wizards, to go a whoring after them, I will even set my face against that soul, and will cut him off from among his people.
2 Kings 21:6
6 And he made his son pass through the fire, and observed times, and used enchantments, and dealt with familiar spirits and wizards: he wrought much wickedness in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.
I am thankful to be living in a climate where roses are still blooming in December. The afternoon sun has projected the shadow on the wall.
A Shadow Of The Bloom ~ Taken December 13, 2025
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
From a Christian perspective, the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind. The second greatest commandment, is to love our neighbour as ourself.
For the most part, hate is subjective and difficult to define. We can safely say things like “I hate broccoli, or I hate snakes.” But we cannot extend those comments toward people. It appears we cannot express comments toward symbols either, without risking an accusation of hate.
Where does hate come from? I think the origin of hate is multi-faceted. Sometimes we hate people because they hate us.
Hate must be the opposite of love. It is a lack of acceptance. Rejection. Intolerance. Coercion and control. The insinuation is that the hated person’s life does not matter, and has no value. There is judgement and condemnation. For a person who is hated – there is an attempt to blot them out of existence. They have no power, and they have no say. They are lesser than other human beings, and may not even be considered to be a human being.
Martin Luther King Jr. delivered this famous quote in a sermon he gave in 1957:
“Hate begets hate; violence begets violence; toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the power of love. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
I do know what it feels like to hate someone who had no regard for my rights as a human being. I hated a person who forcefully took command over my life, and brainwashed me into believing my mother was evil and wicked. He was extremely authoritative, self-righteous, religious, domineering, and arrogant. He caused tremendous damage to all of the relationships in my family. Why did he do this? Who knows? He clearly had a very selfish and hidden agenda.
It would be fair to ask why this young religious zealot teacher in a public school, hated our mother so much? He did not even know her. In fact, I don’t think he ever met her. So what was the origin of his hatred?
In fact one of the things he repeatedly said, was that she was “non-redeemable”. He would act like it caused him pain to have to say such a thing. What kind of Christian says something like that to a kid about their mother? It was not like I could get up and walk away from him, even though this occurred outside of school. Any rebuttal on my part was considered to be a defiance of authority, which led to punishment. His objective was to maintain the false claims, and false authority over me for my entire life. He forcibly confined me for hours on end.
For the record, our mother had far more integrity than the teacher did. She also accepted Christ many years before she died. She was redeemable after all. Where in the bible does it say that any person is non-redeemable?
How and why a person can hate someone they have never met is beyond me. Was he using hatred and derision toward her, purely to manipulate me? The gaslighting was constant, and at the time I did not understand what he was trying to do. It made me cringe. I told him he was sadistic. He never batted an eyelash. He was prone to prolonged staring, which I now know is a method of intimidation.
If you can shame a person’s history, and origin, you can effectively turn them into a blob of malleable slime, to be shaped into what you want them to be. That would be my first guess.
What the teacher did to my life was a thousand times more abusive than anything I had ever experienced prior to him targeting me. There is nothing in my childhood, and formative years that came close to the depth of this lifelong attack on my mind, spirit, career, and relationships. He was determined to break me, to crush me, to take control of my mind and thoughts, and ultimately – to destroy my faith. His aim was to take on the role of both daddy and God in my life. It was all about control.
He not only shamed me for who my mother was, but also for what I dared to think. Countless times he would tell me how deeply offended he and his wife were if I even dared to think “that wicked woman was my mother”. They would pretend to be hurt, so it would stir up empathy for them. He would say she does not deserve to be a mother. When all of this began, this teacher was twenty-eight years old, and was obsessed with a teen-age student in a public school.
She was my mother, and she raised five children. She faced insurmountable hardships, to include multiple open heart surgeries. The teacher did not know about, or even superficially comprehend the tribulation she faced in her life.
Prior to the teacher coming to teach at our school, he was unknown to me and our family. He was a complete and total stranger. He got nothing but stranger as time went on. He was a pretender in every realm. As time went on he pretended to be a low key, absent minded professor. But he never changed, or repented, or stopped lying. Nor would he ever accept a single boundary.
Our mother was of Swedish heritage, and it so happened, I looked very much like her. People would comment on it all the time. They would say I was the spitting image of her. Our Swedish grandmother nick-named me after our mother when I was a toddler. This made the teacher’s attacks on our mother profoundly personal. Those were poorly disguised attacks on me as well.
Worse yet, for years I had to pretend to view this person as some kind of deity. It got to the point where I could not even look at him without feeling nauseated. If I did not look away, I thought I might puke in his face. How does a person control such a visceral response?
For many years I did feel the emotion of hatred toward him, especially over the lies, the shaming, and the attempt to take over my identity, denying my history, and the family I was born into. He wanted to believe he had raised me, which was absurd. I was ordered to be grateful for this intrusion, and all the lies. Most of all I resented his constant negative brainwashing about our mother.
More importantly, my acceptance in my own family was conditional upon submitting to the lies of the teacher, pretending to have raised me. It was so far-fetched, I could not understand how anyone could believe it. I was never at any time under his jurisdiction. It was a scheme.
He was a religious fundamentalist, yet he was denying the fifth commandment, which is to honour our mother and father. He was a walking contradiction as far as being a Christian is concerned, yet he was so superior to me, I was expected to view him with reverence, gratitude, and unquestioning authority.
There is no rational place of forgiveness in my heart for this person. I surrendered the feelings of extreme disgust, and the power of forgiveness to God, because I do not have the capacity to do so on my own.
I came to the conclusion that even though I completely reject the years of lies, shaming, bullying, coercion, identity assault, relational damages, exploitation, gaslighting, and brainwashing, I no longer feel hatred. I no longer carry the profound sense of injustice within me, or it would burn a hole in my soul.
I did manage to let it go, to an extent anyway. Although we are told to love our enemies, at this point, I can only say I feel an indifference toward him. I thank God every day to have that man out of my life, once and for all. I know he will face judgement one day, like anyone else.
I do not wish harm upon him, or his family. I just wanted him out of my life, which was very difficult to do. As it turns out, I believe there can be what many would describe as hatred for harm done, but see it as an emotion central to a healing process. As much as I no longer feel hate toward him, I can honestly say that I do not feel love toward him either, which means I still have a way to go.
The bible tells us to pray for those who persecute us, and to love our enemy, because it is easy to love the people we love. Yet it is very difficult to love those who have caused us a great deal of oppression and grief. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-48
The ability to forgive and love our enemies does not come from us, it comes from Christ, and requires maturity, as well as a dependancy on God’s Spirit, not our own feelings.
Children who are abused need time to heal those past traumas. The healing often does not fully resonate for many years. More than anything, the trauma has to stop. The relationship has to be terminated. Healing does not happen if someone is continually rubbing salt in the wounds. So I do believe some feelings of hatred are understandable.
Once we do get free, we are not supposed to ever go back to a yoke of bondage. Galatians 3:24-25 and Galatians 5:1
It is not the fact we have a range of feelings. The more important thing is learning how to deal with them, and developing self-control. Working through the sense of injustice, and coming to terms with the lies is something we internalize for a long time. But if we externalize the anger to the point of violence, or revenge, it becomes destructive, and unlawful.
It is important for the system to take victimization seriously, and hold people accountable, because not all people internalize their hatred until they find a way to let go of it.
In more general terms, if we seek the truth, and expect to see evidence of things claimed, how can the request for evidence be construed as hate speech? For instance, if someone says more than eighty-five churches in Canada have burned down in recent years, we know there is at least an element of truth to those claims.
We read about it in the news, and many of us have actually witnessed it in our own communities. But what if someone claimed more than a hundred people died in those church fires? If people refuted or denied such a claim, and demanded proof – would it be considered hate speech? Probably not. Both truth, and proof are fundamental to maintaining faith in our justice system. Truth should never be construed as hate.
In a similar vein, if someone claims to have adopted a child, it is a legal process, and is on record, so it can easily be proven. A legal adoption is very difficult to get out of. You can get divorced five times, but a coercive adoption of an older child, is nearly impossible to get free of. Even lies about a pseudo-adoption are very difficult to untangle, because if a lie is repeated often enough, people begin to believe it.
We also hear about people claiming to be Indigenous so they can get the associated perks. Once again, these people use false adoption claims, which can easily be refuted. Making false adoption claims is fraud.
People do not get to arbitrarily claim to be married to someone they have a crush on, without there being an acknowledgement they are mentally ill and delusional. Wishful thinking does not morph into reality, without the consent of the other person.
Everyone has the right to give their own testimony, set the record straight, and back it up with evidence, or witnesses. We are not obligated to live someone else’s lie.
We are all under the laws of the land. The only exception to this is spelled out in Galatians 5:22-23
There are many different interpretations of certain biblical passages. Some people believe the Jewish people are separated from the Gentiles, and treated differently according to God’s plan. They may also believe there will be a rebuilding of the temple and a return to animal sacrifice.
But for those who do not believe in those interpretations, and believe there is one body of Christ, and that Christ was the ultimate sacrifice, which means there is no need to return to animal sacrifice, would these beliefs be considered anti-Jewish? I don’t see why. Yet it seems certain beliefs are so loaded with triggers, they get people’s backs up.
Personally I do not believe any group of people should be treated with hatred, or false accusations, regardless of what they believe in. Peace can only be achieved by sharing the gospel, which is a message of peace, love and good will. If people reject it or do not believe it, leave them alone. If they have an alternative belief they wish to share with us, they have the right to do so.
Where do we draw the line? There must be respect for free will, and divergent beliefs. If any organization is violating human rights, forcibly confining, coercing, bullying, or abusing power over weaker people, they should be held accountable according to the law. Religion should not be a cover for mistreating, punishing, entrapping, and abusing subordinates.
What about people who block access to abortion clinics? They will likely get arrested, because regardless of our beliefs about it, we do not have the right to interfere with the choices other people make. I think an organization could offer assistance to those who are seeking alternatives to an abortion without transgressing any laws.
What about public prayers? Personally I believe if public prayers, and Christian ceremonies are to be banned, or restricted, then all religious ceremonies should have the same restrictions. However, each religion should not be denied a place of worship, a church, or a gathering place. Otherwise the right to thought, belief and opinion, as well as religious beliefs, and freedom of association, are all being infringed upon.
As a Christian I know God cannot be taken out of the equation. He is here with us in Spirit, and in truth. Nothing can change God’s plan, usurp His power, or take away His words, no matter how restrictive the secular world becomes.
History is rife with persecution of Christians. Yet no matter how bad it got, the bible, and believers prevailed. Even though millions of Christians were martyred, it did not put out the fire, or the power of the gospel message.
I have seen YouTube videos where street preachers go to pride parades, or other secular venues, and then use loudspeakers to preach wrath and damnation. For the most part it seems to stir up strife, confrontation, and conflict. Some of those preachers sincerely believe they are out there to save people, but they are misguided.
No matter how zealous a person is, they are not responsible for “saving” non-believers. People are saved based on a sincere, and personal belief in Christ. Some people believe, and accept the gospel of Christ at an early age. Others go through many trials and tribulations before they accept Christ.
Others may never accept Christ as Saviour. For those who believe they are going to browbeat people, or preach fire and brimstone to scare people, perhaps they should examine their motives, and the limits of their own influence.
All Christians, some of whom are false Christians, must examine their own conduct, their own sin, and their own motives, under the light of scripture. They are being deceptive, if they use selective scripture to judge and condemn others. They tend to ignore their own need to repent.
Have they lied, deceived or manipulated people in any way? Are they proud and self-righteous? Are they judging others? Are they acting out of love? Are they being meek? All of these things require self examination, and repentance. We all fall short of the glory of God.
The bible tells us to walk away from those who do not want to hear the gospel message. It does not tell us to use any kind of force. Matthew 10:14
14 And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.
In my opinion hate crimes involve intimidation, fear, assault, shaming, deception, cruelty, humiliation, threats, a refusal to accept boundaries, name calling, cursing, harassment, punishment for setting boundaries, and dehumanizing, or objectifying people.
The undercurrent of many hate crimes operates under the radar. Emotional, psychological, and spiritual abuse leaves no visible wounds or scars. Mistreatment is not always carried out in public or online. It is carried out in homes, communities, care facilities, schools, foster care, and behind closed doors.
The perpetrators of hate crimes, coercive control, and dehumanizing others, know how to create a pretence of innocence. Therefore the essence of hate crimes and the concept of prosecution must take a broad perspective, without a sole focus on social media.
I believe that first and foremost, children must be protected from being objectified, manipulated, coerced, and abused at all levels. Emotional, psychological, and spiritual abuse of a child is every bit as harmful as sexual abuse.
Hatred is not always defined because it can be hidden from sight. It is very easy to blame the victim, or pretend to be a do-gooder, when there is a hidden agenda, targeting an innocent person for destruction, exploitation, rejection, and hatred. Often this is manipulated to influence others to do the same thing. Corruption is contagious.
I sincerely wish there was a way to prosecute people who abuse and dehumanize others, especially children, and those who are weaker or disadvantaged.
If laws are created with a focus on inhibiting free speech, or specifically to target bible believing Christians, it could do far more harm than good. As Christians we should examine our motives, read the bible for ourselves, and seek God’s will in our lives, without fear of what man can do to us. We are told to be gentle, meek and firm in our beliefs, not overbearing, arrogant, or authoritative.
If we are faithful, we do have the assurance of God’s protection over our lives. Even if we are forced into isolation, nothing can separate us from the love of God. Romans 8:33-39
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The bra has transformed into a fifty billion dollar industry in just over a hundred years. It is expected to continue growing in the upcoming decades, with some predicting the industry will be around ninety billion within the next couple of decades.
In Ancient Greece women wore strips of fabric, or bands of wool or linen called apodesmos, or strophium around their breasts for support. This was the precursor to the modern day bra, and persisted throughout Neoclassicism from 1760’s to the 1840’s when there was a revival of antiquity, and austere simple lines for slender figures.
Roman history tells of an adaptation of the breast brand or strophium, mentioned in the writings of Martial, Ovid, and Scriptores Historiae Augustae describing the “bikini mosaic” featuring women wearing bikini tops participating in sporting events.
In the high Middle Ages Henri Mondeville and Konrad Stolle wrote about breast bags, or shirts with bags to contain the breasts, which some considered to be indecent.
In the 1800’s the fashion pendulum swung to the hourglass figure, along with ornate corsets to create an emphasis on cleavage, and a very small waist. This trend peaked and carried on between the 1840’s and 1890’s.
In 1889 French designer Hermine Cadotte separated the top and bottom of the undergarment, creating a two piece ensemble. The top part was a corset for the breast. By 1905 she was selling the top part as the soutien-gorge, which translates into “an undergarment supporting a woman’s breasts”.
In 1893 Mary Tucek received a US patent for a bra style made of hankies, ribbon and a metal plate to support the breasts. This was a precursor to the underwire bra. Let’s hope the women who wore those did not fall off any horses. They might have ended up with a metal plate embedded between their ribs.
In 1914 Mary Phelps Jacob in the US patented the first backless bra, because she did not like the way a corset showed through when wearing more svelte evening dresses.
In the 1930’s S.H. Camp & Co. developed the standard cup sizing as we know it today.
Comically, in 1977 Hinda Miller and Paula Smith co-invented the first sports bra called the Jogbra. They made the first prototype by sewing two jock straps together.
Since then, the bra has evolved, and continues to evolve to suit a divergent range of shapes, sizes, activities, and life changes.
Now we often hear that 80% of women are wearing the wrong bra size. Yet do we ever hear that 80% of men are wearing the wrong size shorts or jock straps?
It seems to me there is a bit of a tug-o-war over boobs. Our autonomy over the size and shape of our body has to be decided by someone else for some reason, or you will surely be one of the 80% who is lop-sided, spilling out, or lost in those breast bags somewhere.
No doubt most of us have worn the wrong size bra for many reasons. Weight gain, weight loss, pregnancy, breast feeding, aging, and a change in fitness level, will all affect the bra size.
To measure yourself, you simply need a flexible tape measure to measure the size of your rib cage in oder to get the band size. Any bra chart will give you the band size based on this measurement. Then you measure around the fullest part of your breast. After that you subtract the band size (rib cage) measurement from the bust circumference. Each inch of difference is a cup size, one inch is an A cup, two inches is a B cup, and so on.
However, the tricky part is that not all bra brands fit the same, even though you might have ordered the same size from two different brands. There is still an element of trial and error. You can also look up sister sizes if you think you might be more comfortable in a bra with a larger or smaller band than what you have measured.
If you go to a lingerie or specialty bra shop, they will insist on measuring you. Personally I think the days are long gone where women are going to be dictated to on what bra size they wear, if they feel reasonably confident they know what size they wear. The people who do the measuring call themselves “certified professionals” and try to make you believe it is rocket science.
I read an interesting article the other day about a woman who decided to test the whole bra fitting scenario by going to multiple different shops to get fitted. She did this bra marathon in a single day, so we can safely say she didn’t lose weight between stores.
She made several observations in how each of the salespeople did the measurements, such as front to back, back to front, over top clothes etc. Not surprisingly, she got told she was multiple different sizes throughout the day. In fact each place told her she wore a certain size, and each time it was different. She dutifully tried them on as per their suggestion.
She found that even though she had been fitted, the bra size they told her to try on was often too tight. Of all six or seven places she went to, there was just one of them that got her size right. At the end of the day she had a couple purchases she regretted, but was happy to find the right fit by the end of her experiment.
I think the lesson learned, is that not all fitters are capable of doing a measurement better then we are. In many cases their service, and assistance is welcome, but I do think they should give more credit to the woman, and what she is most comfortable with.
Some women just want to go in and browse, or buy something off a sales rack, without being pressured into a fitting. This is especially so in the winter when you might have a coat and two sweaters on, and just want to stop in for a quick look.
The bra evolution is expansive. Women are constantly seeking a balance between comfort, form, fit, and fashion when it comes to bras. As it is with shoes, and other clothing, we make plenty of mistakes.
Something can feel like it fits when you are in a change room, or in a store. Yet after you take it home, remove the tags, and wear it, within a few hours, you realize it itches somewhere, or digs into your shoulders, back or rib cage.
In many cases, it is not a matter of a woman choosing the wrong size, but more likely, she chose the wrong brand. These discards end up fuelling the industry. We have to admit that almost all clothing is now mass produced, and because bras have a minimal amount of fabric, even slight deviations in the cut, and sewing can make a big difference in how it fits.
Just to prove the point, try buying two different name brands from Amazon in the exact same size, the size you normally wear, and the size you have carefully measured yourself for. Without a doubt, you will find out those two bras fit differently. One might fit, the other might be too tight. Or one could be too tight, and the other too loose.
To top it off, the majority of bras, even expensive ones, are made in China. Asian women are generally smaller, and thinner than North American, and European women. An Asian size large, is a small size by our standards.
So like the woman who went on the day long bra hop, we all find out that we can’t live without them, or at least most of us can’t, and we are lucky if we can stand wearing one for more than eight hours.
The perfect bra would be one with enough elasticity to not have straps pulling on your shoulders, or wires digging into your ribs when you lean forward, yet will offer the support that separates your breasts, and provides a proper shape. The best bra would be one you can put on and ignore, without giving it another thought until you take it off.
If you search for one with comfort and stretch, you get zero support. You soon find out that a bra without support is not comfortable either. Nor can you wear it anywhere, without looking like gravity in motion.
If you opt for a bra with maximum support, you get the uni-boob sports bra coming out of your neck. Either that, or the push up cleavage, and the binding wire to keep them up there. Extremism is not only found in religion and politics.
Even though they are bilateral in nature, breasts are not exempt from monomania. In fact they go from the maternal and nurturing, to the wild things on the stripper’s poles.
There was a doctor who did breast augmentations, and was so obsessed with large breasts, he encouraged women to go for astronomically huge, and unnatural looking breasts. One can only imagine how awkward it would be to live your life with breasts so large you could barely fit behind the wheel of a car.
The doctor would frequent strip clubs, and snort cocaine off of women’s breasts. Eventually his breast bubble burst, and he got busted. He was a prime example of the extremism, and titillating fixation on women’s breasts.
No wonder the industry is still evolving. Getting back to the basics – surely there is a fabric somewhere between rubber, wire, and itchy lace – that can become the breast bags, without the sags, of the future.
We supposedly put a man on the moon, and harnessed fire, yet we cannot harness, and subdue the bare bosom, in the comfort and style she so deserves.
We are not there yet. So if you are inclined to invest in stocks, the bra might be a good place to set your sights. Only for those with vision, and strong shoulders that can bear the burden of the breast.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Becoming a people pleaser is an adaptation from childhood. Compliance, subservience, and doing things for other people is seen as a good thing. Love and acceptance is conditional. You have to shrink into a shadow of your authentic self, and give all to the people around you, before you even consider your own needs.
Self sacrifice is seen as a good thing. But is it really? Some psychologists claim “you will smile your way through hell”. If you can manage to look fine, you must be navigating the deep waters, regardless of the chaos churning underneath it all.
You bend over backwards, but it is never enough. It does not garner any respect, just more demands. You have no boundaries, because saying no is the opposite of compliance. If you are conditioned to being punished for saying no, or setting a boundary, you can quickly be dominated by those who push boundaries.
The basis for becoming a people pleaser is that you must succumb to what others want or expect of you, in order to be accepted. In other words, love and acceptance is conditional, and performance based.
You are not loved or accepted just for being who you are. In fact, you are not permitted to be who you are. The real you is taboo. People pleasing is about survival, yet it is ultimately self destructive. It brings disrespect, not respect. It opens the door to allow people to take advantage of you, like you have a bull’s eye on your forehead.
People who are prone to manipulating others seem to think their target is dumb, an easy mark, and deserving of being duped and coerced. If you can be manipulated into servitude, then you agreed, and must take responsibility for your own actions. This in essence is true. However breaking free of the bondage, and learning to say no – should not lead to punishment and rejection.
Although some manipulation is very sophisticated, more so, because we want to trust those we care about, we might be slow to fully comprehend the degree of manipulation, and gaslighting we are being exposed to.
In the case of the abuse of power by an authority figure, they gain power initially through various acts of dominance, to include threats of violence. Mostly they rely on psychological, emotional, and spiritual domination through shaming, repetition, thought control or brain washing, while maintaining an aura of superiority. If they can position, and establish themselves as an all encompassing authority figure early in your life, they can enforce this dominance over you for a lifetime. In other words, they own you.
Such a relationship is steeped in deception, with its origins veiled in secrecy. Truth dissects abuse of power, like a frog in a lab. Therefore truth is forbidden. It must be stifled at all costs. It empties you of who you are, and ironically, they are the ones who are stuffed shirts. They are filled with self-importance, and arrogance – yet are void of all understanding and integrity.
The authority figure is abusing power because he knows your background, and thus he is able to target your vulnerabilities. In my opinion, a person who abuses power over a child, while in a paid position of trust, is a most despicable character. Does such a person ever repent? I have no idea, but somehow I doubt it.
In time, and even intuitively at the onset of various schemes, we know in our heart what is going on. It is not about being dumb. It is about learned patterns of behaviour, in order to survive, avoid punishment, to be accepted, to get through school etc.
Part of our malleability stems from the denial of truth, because if we acknowledge truth in such situations, we must react, and do something about it. We are not intrinsically denying the truth of who we are, but rather, the deception is being forced upon us. The psychological trickery of an adult over a child, is sadistic and cruel. As a child, you know it is wrong, yet you are powerless.
The early childhood conditioning convinces us that setting a boundary, or saying no – means there will be a fight. We will get punished, dominated, and ultimately rejected in such a fight. It is a battle we cannot win, or at least never did win as a child, because we were weaker, and had no say.
Obedience to our parents is one thing, and is expected of children. But in some cases, it is not about parental obedience, but rather the abuse of power by authoritative figures, or by someone who is physically stronger.
Good or bad, we are all part of history. We have a place in our family history as well as societal, and biblical history. Even if we are blotted out, or kicked out of our family – that too, becomes part of history. Nothing can take away who we are, where we came from, and what God has planned for our life. Nor can anyone hide the truth from God. It is a relief to know God sees all, and is just.
Believers are part of God’s family. We are not discriminated against. We are not accepted based on works. We are forgiven by the grace of God, and our sincere belief in the gospel of Jesus Christ.
There is no worldly superiority in being a Christian. In fact, the opposite is true. There is no such thing as a “wonderful Christian” especially if it is a self ascribed. If a person has to describe themselves as such, chances are they are the opposite of what they claim. It’s just another one of many lies.
Pious and arrogant Christians are like the Pharisees described in the bible. They were supremely self-righteous, and thought they were morally superior. Ironically, they were seeking approval from men, not God, so they were examples of what it is to be a people pleaser in a self exalted sense. God has promised to give grace to the humble, and to bring down the proud.
James 4:8
8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
Luke 14:11
11 For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Deep down people pleasing is born of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of punishment, and fear of abandonment. There is also fear of being judged and condemned. Too boisterous, too talkative, too inquisitive, too sensitive. All these things must be hidden, or adapted so you can comply with what is expected of you.
So you smile when you are angry. You agree to do what you don’t want to do. You apologize for even attempting to set a boundary. You pretend everything is fine. Youth gives us the elasticity to bend ourselves into a pretzel. But after awhile, we don’t spring back. Instead we become brittle, and on edge. Resentment builds until our heart breaks into open rebellion.
People pleasing does not gain us any respect. It does just the opposite. It proves we can be easily manipulated, dominated and controlled. It ensnares us and robs us of who we are. It locks us into fear instead of love, which requires healthy boundaries, and authenticity.
If the blueprint for our life is set up to constantly meet the expectations of the people around us, we are not only sacrificing who we are, but more importantly we are shutting out the love of God, based on fear. We are putting others ahead of God, or even in place of God in our lives. We are giving over our true identity in Christ, to false and shallow expectations designed to keep us in line.
There are people who are adept at seeing through the childhood vulnerabilities, and quickly recognize you are an easy target. In fact, they may know very well you were dominated, controlled, and unable to set healthy boundaries. If so, that is exactly where they want to keep you.
After years of compliance, when you do finally set boundaries, the fear of rejection, abandonment and punishment becomes a reality. It is how we learn to overcome fear that is not based in love, but rather is rooted in dominance, control and deception.
We cannot be who and what someone else wants us to be. We cannot miraculously become a different person molded into a cast designed to keep us compliant, and accepting of lies.
Truth is central to love. Without truth, there is no trust. Without trust, we cannot love. A complete and mature love for God removes fear of punishment and judgement. We trust God, because we know he first loved us, and God is love. God demands truth for very good reasons. Even for those who think they can hide things from God, the bible is clear, no one can hide their motives, thoughts, or what is in their heart.
There is no deception, including self deception that can be hidden from God. For those who continually try to deceive, God gives them over to strong delusion.
Many Christians become confused into believing they should be pleasing men, instead of trusting God, and adhering to the truth. We also get accused of being selfish for taking care of ourselves, and for setting boundaries.
The bible does tell us to give up self and follow Christ. It does not tell us to give up self and become a people pleaser. The essence of love is truth, trust, and putting God in charge. All people are fallible, and without a secure foundation in God’s love, we can easily become rooted in fear, compliance, and a loss of self to forces that can destroy us. Keep in mind – we surrender self to God and no one else.
God’s love, and the love we have for family, and significant others will not be extinguished because we refuse to be people pleasers. There might be temporary rejection, and abandonment. But love is not conditional, and it will endure all things. God’s word places love above all else. Love is the light of the world, and will endure throughout eternity.
1 John 1:5
5 This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grief is probably the most heart wrenching, depressing and deeply felt emotion most of us will ever experience. Yet we all do experience it at some point.
From my own experience, I now know how ill-equipped I was to handle the emotional roller coaster brought on by grief. I did things to make it worse and more chaotic, instead of stabilizing my emotions.
The worst thing we can do is turn to alcohol or drugs of any sort. Sometimes a short period of a prescribed drug might help people get past a crisis. We are all different. Many people can manage a brief time of using medication, without it turning into a full blown addiction. But since we are at our most vulnerable, we are very susceptible to using some form of crutch, or escapism to cope with overwhelming grief.
The more stable our childhood foundation, the more likely we can maintain some stability while grieving, because we have something to fall back on. But if we are lacking a strong foundation, we are at risk of turning to addiction.
If the death was unexpected, a young person, traumatic, accidental, and especially if it was a suicide, the grief is much more difficult to manage. It is a time when we must be kind to ourself, yet we are inclined to do the opposite.
Self destructive behaviours are the opposite of being kind to yourself. There is a difference between wallowing in pity, self destruction, addiction, and escapism, versus being kind enough to actually take care of yourself, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
When we lose a loved one unexpectedly, the rug is torn out from under us. We desperately want to go back to normal, and then realize, there is no more normal. Perhaps there never was.
Grief comes in waves. It settles for awhile, and then recurs with a vengeance, threatening to drown us in another onslaught of despair. One of the most difficult emotions associated with grief is guilt.
We reminisce, and because we are all flawed in some ways, lose patience, have conflicts, get fed up, or just become absorbed in the day to day activities that keeps us so busy – suddenly none of those things matter. We feel guilty over things we said, and over what we didn’t say. We might feel guilt because we did not recognize or have empathy for what was going on with the person who died.
But here’s the thing. The person who has died, will always be with us. Everyone leaves an indelible mark in this world. Often it is in a small way they probably never realized. I remember years ago, asking my niece, who was a terrific gourmet cook, what kind of knife she would recommend.
She told me that in her opinion Shun made the absolute best knives. I really had no idea, but I took her advice and bought a Shun utility knife. That was probably twenty years ago at least. She was right. It is the best knife, and I still use it every single day. It reminds me of her, and what a great cook she was.
There are countless ways a person stays with us. Yet at the same time, they are gone from this world. As Christians we have the assurance we will be resurrected when Christ returns.
In 1 Corinthians the Apostle Paul gave reassurance and comfort to those who were grieving loved ones who had died. He knew how much heartache it caused, and he wanted to offer hope and the promise of seeing them again. 1 Corinthians 15:26
These verses tell us we are far from perfect while we live on this earth. It does not give us an excuse to sin, or continue in our sin. But it does give us an honest appraisal of our own weakness and corruption.
But more so, it gives us hope to have the trials and tribulations of this world overcome by the grace of God, and what Christ did for us on the cross. Only Christ can overcome death on our behalf.
The bible tells us God knows the beginning from the end, and the end from the beginning. He knows His people long before we are born. He knows when we will die long before we actually die.
Therefore all our guilt is in vain. We do not control when another person will die. Up until MAID people had no control over when they would die. For most of us, we still don’t really know. But God knows.
Christ had tremendous compassion for those who were grieving. The bible talks about widows, understanding the loss and lifelong struggles to follow. Jesus grieved when people died, and he saw the grief others experienced. When He was here on this earth, there were times he intervened, and raised people from the dead, or healed people who were about to die.
Christ’s resurrection is central to our belief and hope in the gospel. His resurrection is a promise of our own resurrection. In 1 Corinthians Paul made it clear that we cannot deny the resurrection of Christ, nor can we deny what it means for us, and those who died before us.
If I could go back and change my own dysfunctional reaction to grief, I would. The main thing I would do is read the bible, and trust God, instead of wallowing in emotional despair, without a foundation. Even though I was a believer, I was not reading the bible, and was not well grounded or stable.
All the daily routines that help keep us stable, such as diet, fresh air, and most importantly sleep, can help. I find the Scourby KJV bible reading to be an exceptional way to help with sleeplessness, guilt, and not knowing the future. I wish I would have started listening to the audio bible years ago.
I know there are many audio bible readers, and versions. I have listened to portions of some others, but I like the tone and cadence of Scourby’s voice. It has just enough intonational patterns to make it come alive, without losing the lower cadence in the more mellow verses.
You can keep the audio bible handy on your desktop, laptop or phone, and turn it on quietly at night if you wake up, and can’t sleep.
You can also listen to certain books of the bible read by Alexander Scourby on YouTube. For a period of time, I listened to the YouTube versions, but some of the readings had ads, so I decided to buy the audio KJV version read by Scourby, so I don’t have to search YouTube for it, or deal with ads, which almost seems sacrilegious depending on the ad.
Grief is not always about losing a loved one to death. Sometimes it is about the loss of the use of a limb, or ability to communicate. Sometimes it is the loss of relationships, or the hardening of hearts against us.
It can be major financial losses, or the realization that all we strived for was in vain. It is in the recognition of how we wasted not only money, and real estate, but more so, how we wasted years of our life.
These regrets come about from wallowing in grief, or circumstances of the past, or the fickle foolishness of chasing a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow that disappears every time you get near it.
We cannot realistically say that none of it matters. As long as we are alive we do have responsibilities, to ourselves, our neighbours and our community. We have to cook, clean, take the garbage out, and plan our days to be productive. We are supposed to be thankful, and praise God as we go about our days.
If we focus on the future God has promised those who trust in Him, and if we count our blessings, knowing He knows all things. If we listen to and read His word, and pray for those we love, for their well being, and salvation, we will be okay.
Each morning I pray for each and every member of my family, my children, grandchildren, my siblings, nieces and nephews, and all the extended family. With regards to family, I know the hardships, and misfortunes they have faced. I pray God will heal all wounds. We all have different coping mechanisms, and sometimes we cannot understand ourselves, let alone each other.
I also pray for my neighbours, and ask God to keep the peace among us. The second commandment is to love our neighbour as ourself. When the power of these words sink in, we realize how important it is to love our neighbours, even though it might seem impossible at times. Matthew 22:36-40
All the self-help books, or prescription medication in the world, will not solve our spiritual emptiness. Only Christ can do that for us. It is a gift, and is not based on our own merit. The more self shrinks, the more room there is for the gospel of Christ, and the Holy Spirit to help us live our lives in peace. Tribulation makes us more patient.
In Hebrews the bible tells us we all have an appointment with death. To me, this confirms God knows when we will die, probably before we are even born. So as far as feeling guilty about a loved one who has died, it is an emotion to let go of, because we have no control over the appointment for another person’s death.
We can and should repent of sins, and take responsibility for what we did do, and what we did have control over. But as far as the untimely, accidental, sickness, and ultimate death of a loved one – we have no control. We have to give it to God, and trust Him with all our heart and soul. He will make it better, and teach us patience in the process.
For all those who are grieving, trust in Jesus, and He will help you through it. May God in his mercy, give you peace, love, and hope, during dark and difficult times.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The circumstances of my youth exposed me to religious hypocrisy on a variety of different levels. Huddled in the gloom of their depressing fabrications, I had a sweeping transcendence of what was enshrouded in layers, a paradoxical abstract of a sinner’s roll call, to be played out on a stage too flimsy for our nature, and destined to fall.
The fallacious wisps drifting past were barely discernible in the windowless blast, while the saints sat enthralled with babes on their knees, looking blithely upon the altar of deceit. Those were simply gossamer phantoms, elfin dust devils swirling by on a summer’s eve, to divulge a swap of the feathers when the whirlwind subsides.
They are barely a drop in the bucket when laid alongside, the larcenous latitude and evil expanse, foisted and finagled on innocent spirits by destructive cults. They will encroach beyond boundaries and steal your free will. They will punish and burden you with an unbearably heavy load. They will cage you and strap you into a cognitive restraint, and they won’t let you go.
They hijack in strata and force you to the fringed edges of their fulminating masquerade. For doing this they expect unquestioning obedience, endless gratitude and monetary payback. It is no wonder they see themselves as superior, artful and clever.
Historical writings contain different versions of the seven deadly sins. The origin of one of the lists comes from the desert fathers, who lived a monastic lifestyle in the desert of Egypt, Palestine and Syria in the fourth and fifth centuries AD.
There were women living in the desert as well, who were referred to as the desert mothers. Many of the women occupied leadership positions and contributed equally to the teachings and writings of the era, but little was credited to them. The desert fathers are much better known because “the early lives of the saints were written by men for a male monastic audience”.
The Desert Father’s list of the seven deadly sins:
hubris, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth.
The Bible’s list of the seven deadly sins as listed in Proverbs 6: 6-19:
These sixe things doeth the Lord hate; yea seven are an abomination unto him: A proude looke, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood: An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief: A false witnesse that speaketh lies; and him that soweth discord among brethren.
The societal problem surrounding violence toward women and generalized misogyny had to start somewhere. It is contained in the conceptual framework surrounding the Biblical versions and interpretations of the creation of Adam and Eve. These puzzling versions of God’s creation of man, to include the sequence of how Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden of Eden, seems paradoxical and baffling in so many ways.
Religious fundamentalism from a literalistic perspective is steeped in contradiction, misogyny, and dominance over women. These illogical ideologies and fallacies persist in churches, politics, in family life, in business and in education. Christians are repeatedly told the Bible is the only and infallible word of God. However, there are now at least a hundred different versions and translations of the Bible in the English language alone.
We are told all these altered versions are meant to make the Bible more readable by taking away archaic wording. From my own perspective, it is an insulting rationale, and it is no wonder people reject religion, referring to it as myth and nonsense. Anyone who has any experience with some of these religious fanatics will find they are arrogant, will steal, lie, have extra marital affairs, bully, and present a most dichotomous view of what is good in this world.
One of the main and very altered translations, is the John Darby version of the Bible, which is the version embraced and followed by the Exclusive Brethren sect. A few years ago, I reviewed a columned table on the Internet comparing the original language of the Bible with the John Darby version, verse by verse. The changes are staggering. Anyone who goes over those changes with an open mind will understand the magnitude of what Darby did. The entire message of the Gospel was changed. John Darby, in the early to mid 1800’s cleverly crafted a document of Zionism to be incorporated as a mainstream Christian belief system.
Initially I saw these changes to the original bible as being crypto-Judaism, or a secret adherence to Judaism. It is difficult to differentiate the true motives of John Darby, because there is always an element of secrecy when it comes to deception. It is also difficult to understand the true differences between Zionism and crypto-Judaism. Much of the history of Israel has been shrouded in deception, politics, war, and money.
We must keep in mind, there is one body of Christ. There is no separation of the state of Israel, or between the Gentiles and the Jews. Those who believe in Christ are grafted into the body of Christ in unity, and love. Christ is the vine, and we are the branches. There is no separate viable vine, or branches, apart from Christ. Those who do separate themselves from Christ for whatever reasons, will wither and be thrown into the fire. Not eternal hellfire, but rather burned like dead branches are burned, according to the bible.
After we die, we are no longer physical bodies, but rather, are spiritual bodies. For people who do not believe in an afterlife, in their minds, they cease to exist. Therefore a physical and spiritual death is something they expect.
When the bible describes the second death in the lake of fire, it is talking about a spiritual death. So we should be careful not to attribute physical death to spiritual death, because they are not the same, and not in the same time frame. Nor do we know for certain how the final judgement will be carried out. In this regard, we must have faith, and trust Jesus, as He is the only one who can judge how people lived their lives, and whether or not they repented during their lifetime. God knows justice better than we do by far.
We all have a biological father. Some people are truly and legally adopted, in which case the adoptive father becomes the legal guardian and father. In other cases, a step father raises and provides for a child as his own, and he is deserving of a father’s role. Other than that, no one has the right to “pretend” to be a father, or lie about it, when there was no adoption, and they did not raise the child.
In my opinion, religious characters do not have the right to be called father. Other than a true parental figure, the only other father we have – is Our Father, who art in heaven.
The Darby doctrine was further spread through the Scofield Reference Bible and many other heretical writings. The notion of a pre-tribulation rapture as well as the theory of dispensational periods of governance stem from the Biblical changes Darby made. Considering the amount of time and effort Darby put into making so many changes in the Bible, it is prudent to question his motives. Why would anyone do that?
Do these arrogant individuals go over and change the works of Schopenhauer or Chaucer to alter the writer’s intended meaning under the guise of making the content more palatable to the readers? What kind of gall does it take to change the semantics of anyone’s writing, much less the Bible? John Darby was an aristocrat and freemason. He had his own deceptive agenda.
The implication is that Darby, with his brilliant understanding of semantics and eschatology, presented an improved worldview, for all the peons to understand. At the time of Darby’s writings, there followed great discord and schism among the Plymouth Brethren in England. There was so much friction they were forced to split up into sects, with the Exclusive Brethren taking things to the extreme in their literalistic and dogmatic following of the John Darby heretical version of the Bible.
They are special in God’s eyes, the chosen ones, which is a familiar theme in a percentage of cult religions. They are self-appointed, all superior, wonderful Christians. They claim to keep themselves separate and pure, because what they emanate is a sweet savory for God. They do not want their worship time to be tainted by the lower forms of humanity. They believe anyone among them who is not united with them in their cultish belief system, will cause the mist of purity going up to God to be defiled. Their doctrine of separation makes an exception for money. They will associate with anyone who has money regardless of their belief systems.
My initial understanding of the Book of Genesis (which I now know is a literalistic viewpoint) was that Adam was made first. God looking down upon him could see Adam was lonely in the garden all by himself. Therefore he decided to make a woman for Adam’s sake. Eve was then made from the rib of Adam, to join him in a lush and beautiful paradise on earth.
The very essence of the literalistic message surrounding the relationship between Adam and Eve is that she was an afterthought, or somehow a secondary, or lesser person than Adam was. She was created in order to meet the needs of Adam and make his life better. This version (10th-9th BCE) was actually coined as the “subordinating women account”.
The story goes on to describe Eve being tempted and deceived by the serpent, who was actually the devil in disguise. As a result, she convinced Adam to disobey God, and eat of the forbidden fruit. The fruit on the tree pertains to the knowledge of good and evil. When they did eat the fruit, they immediately became self-conscious of their nakedness, and started covering themselves.
To the higher intellect, this would seem to be metaphor with several layers of meaning. The embodiment of ideas and parable depict humanity in its infancy, spiritual childbirth, loss of innocence, a conscience, the knowledge of evil, the covering of sin, consequences of choices, and the foreshadowing of God’s planfor mankind’s salvation. It is as vast in scope and complexity as the book of Revelation is.
How could Adam (man) rule over the woman if he adversely affected the entire human race by failing to provide leadership on the single most important instruction given to them by God? If Adam was created to be the boss, he failed in his role with the first and only other human being he was put in charge of. I recently read 56% of North Americans believe the Adam and Eve story considering them to be real people. Apparently 44% of the group claimed to be absolutely positive.
For those who consider it a fable or allegorical literature, what does it mean? Where is the moral to the story? It is the basis for the Christian concept of the origin of man and woman on this earth. But how does one reconcile the contradictions? If it is true, it means the very first man on earth, could not control his wife, to include permitting her to lead him astray too. Yet paradoxically it is the basis for a male dominant belief system enmeshed into the fabric of our existence.
How is it we came to believe such dogma? Adam and Eve had to have been created as equals, as companions and helpmates to one another, and held uniformly responsible for their disobedience. Each had a very significant role to play, in a logical sense, surrounding procreation, as well as in the many parables, hidden meanings, prophecy, and rich metaphor used to enhance spiritual understanding.
The great gender confusion in the Adam and Eve story develops after they eat of the forbidden fruit and God outlines consequences. Before they ate the forbidden fruit, this verse describes the equality of the creation of man and woman:
Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his owne image, in the Image of God created hee him; male and female created hee them.
After they ate of the forbidden fruit the consequences for what they did is described in the following verses:
Genesis 3: 16-17 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrowe and thy conception. In sorrow thou shalt bring forth children: and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and hee shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eate of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake: in sorrow shalt thou eate of it all the dayes of thy life.
If taken literally the consequence of their sin is that men will rule over women. But given what is said in the following verse about the consequence to man, it is pretty clear, they don’t get to so much as enjoy the food they eat. They are destined to a life of misery. We all know by now, the chauvinistic literalists have hammered home the consequence for Eve, and have conveniently left out the consequence for Adam.
The important facet of the Adam and Eve story is to make sure the consequences are married as Adam and Eve were joined together as man and wife. They were joined together in disobedience as well. When God reprimanded Adam and Eve right after they ate the fruit, he was telling them they have now taken on knowledge of evil. He was giving the cause and effect that would end up changing their reality. The focus on men ruling over women is depicted as a result of the knowledge of what is evil, not good.
On the other hand to choose goodness is to esteem your partner equal or higher than you esteem yourself, avoid deceiving one another, and cultivate trust because there is still plenty of good. We get off track insidiously in almost imperceptible ways, get deceived into a labyrinth of distractions, or remain focused on the physicality of self, as opposed to the whole dimension. To navigate, we have to pay attention and know what the embodiment of goodness represents. The fruits of the Spirit are listed in Galatians:
Galatians 5:22: But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith.
When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit from the central tree in the garden, it was a tree depicting the centrality of the growth and aliveness of both good and evil in the world. The discernment and characterization of good and evil will be the battle of our existence and acted out in the choices we make. The good is still there. There is nothing to indicate the disobedience of Adam and Eve caused the good to be taken away from the tree. The tree remains with the content and knowledge of both.
The knowledge of both good and evil was metaphorically in the fruit consisting of both good and evil. Evil was brought to the forefront of their conscience so they became aware of it. They are given the knowledge that good and evil coexist in this world. They must differentiate and make choices between the two. No one can change destiny, fate or prophecy, but given free will, people have a choice to carefully discern and choose what is good over evil. In fact many other verses in the Bible support this concept by telling us not to be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good. It makes sense because then we are cultivating good and causing it to grow.
As far as being ruled over by men, even if a woman is subdued and says nothing, her thoughts cannot be controlled. When one individual attempts to control and dominate another, it causes conflict, withdrawal and deceptions. It eventually erodes and destroys love and trust. Resentments simmer. Given the nature of human beings, many women who are controlled, dominated and mistreated – will find a way to get even. There is no mention anywhere in the Bible of God ever taking away an individual’s free will. It is men who do that. The very same men who claim to know what God is all about and what is best for us.
I do not deny that it is best for a family to have a competent husband and father as the leader. In a marriage women are supposed to be supportive, and cooperative in joint decision making. Husbands are also supposed to love, honour and be faithful toward their wives. In such cases, it is a mutually supportive relationship with the strengths of each adding to the glue that holds a family together. It is not a matter of superiority and domination.
Genesis, as the first book in the Bible, and Revelation, as the final dramatic plot yet to be unfolded in our existence here, are also the most veiled and perplexing. The beginning and the ending of God’s plan for the world are filled with more heretical suppositions, misunderstandings, fables, and man-driven misinterpretations, than any other literature in the history of mankind.
Instead of allowing a multitude of tautologies to dominate our belief systems, how can we interpret the meaning of the Adam and Eve story as we know it, or have learned it?
As a child when I first heard the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, it seemed to me there was a strong element of blame toward the woman. It was Eve’s fault. She was the conduit between the devil and Adam. She was the one who the serpent first approached. Once tempted, and with her womanly beguiling ways, she managed to deceive and lead Adam into carnal sin. What if it was the other way around and Adam had charmed and convinced her to disobey God? How much would our conceptual framework change if we thought differently about the origin of man and sin in this world?
If they were equal, and both ate of the forbidden fruit (which they did), they are equally responsible. Even for the fundamentalists, it should make no sense to blame a subordinate, for making big decisions that turn out badly. Ingrained ideas surrounding male dominance and leadership by reason of gender alone, combined with the refusal to accept responsibility for his own choices, while blaming the woman – is the foundational fallacy of religious fundamentalists.
It is based on a gender oriented bias, and false teachings in Biblical translation and interpretation. Religious fundamentalists will find every verse in the Bible pertaining to male superiority and dominance, take it out of context and use it to dominate women and children. They are the ultimate (false) authority in every decision to be made. As a result they subject innocent people to their autocratic self-aggrandized bad decisions. Bible studies and sermons preached to millions, with an emphasis on teaching women to submit to their husbands, without ever questioning or challenging them on important issues – are corrupted by men, not God.
The only way for Christians to reconcile the contradictions in the story of Adam and Eve is to recognize the literalistic elements, as well as to reference the original Hebrew lexicon. If looked at in such a way Adam means “man” and Eve means “living”. Everything from woman being taken from the rib of Adam, to the original sin and fallen nature of man was originally written in parables, with much deeper meanings and representations. Once we begin to acknowledge some of the conflict and cognitive dissonance thrust upon us by fundamentalist religious beliefs, logic soon supersedes the rather diabolical Neanderthal concept of male dominance.
What I glean from the sequence of events in the Adam and Eve story leads to an opposite and alternate theory. The choice of good over evil will not include dominance over women or the inability for man to live and enjoy a productive life. The bounty of a proliferous life is not found solely in material wealth. It is in having love, harmony and our needs met with an equal emphasis on physical and spiritual needs, as well as esteeming others equal to or greater than ourselves.
The only reasonable stance to take is that of promoting and teaching a more balanced gender perspective. Where there is equality, there is cooperation. Inequality contributes to conflict, income disparity, hinders women’s potential, punishes intelligent women, disregards what children are being exposed to, and is the basis for non-progressive male dominance. Male superiority leads to pride, which is not biblical.
Men who occupy positions of power with significant societal or government influence must be identified, exposed and stopped – if there is documented evidence they are contributing to, or persisting in the fundamentalist male dominance and punishment model toward women, or if they demonstrate a conflict of interest and abuse of power in the roles they are in.
Secular humanism establishes a baseline of moral terms to help set the parameters on human behaviors without being attached to any religion or belief in God. If secular humanism far supersedes the moral terms of a religious organization, it means the religious organization is a destructive cult. Religion is not supposed to become an oppressive blanket to cover mistreating people.
Religions that do not abide by the general and most basic laws of the land in their treatment of women, children and families, must be held accountable to the laws. Otherwise their criminal conduct is kept under cover and these fanatics have unhindered access and a sense of entitlement to harm innocent people. They are using religion to cover up their lawlessness. There is no end to the deception and exploitation, because they are tapped into what is evil and doing a feeding frenzy.
Off-base religious dogma has a greater depth of evil than the secular world has. If a religion taps into the knowledge of evil and feeds on it, they will cultivate a far greater evil than non-believers. They do so because they focus on and magnify what is evil and pass it off as truth.
They develop extremely distorted and deceptive methods of control. They influence and condone attitudes of male dominated power and control through deception and fear. They plot aggressive and devious trespasses into close family relationships. They will engineer a range of barbaric psychological tactics toward the destruction of family bonds. They use the bible, but they misrepresent scripture, and twist it toward their own agenda. They want to create an imprint in your mind. It takes years to get free of their brainwashing.
They ruthlessly rob fundamental freedoms and punish women and children without any accountability. It is all done under the guise of a secretive Christian sect. If an organization does such things, they are using religion as a cloak to cover up crimes against humanity, with a focus on the most important and foundational relationships. It is the family they rip into and declare war on. They claim a doctrine of separation from an evil world. It’s not the world that is evil. They are. It is a doctrine of divisiveness and cruelty.
No religion, doctrine, dogma, or regime has the right to take away an individual’s free will. God does not do that. Free will is central to the creation of man and woman. Not one of those arrogant men has the right to punish any person outside the parameters of the law. They are abusing power. Someone needs to intervene. There is language in the criminal code that describes it as a criminal offence to directly or indirectly prevent a person from doing what they have a right to do.
Any organization that believes they are above the laws of the land is a very dangerous organization, particularly for those who are under the cultish autocratic rule of abusive chauvinists. They will not permit you to have a voice, and they will not allow you to leave. God does not force us into any relationship.
Anyone who tells a child his or her parent is evil and wicked, is emotionally and psychologically abusing the child. Religious perverts need to be held accountable. Children and families need to be protected from the kinds of manipulative abuses embraced by cult practices. The damage they do is mind-boggling. Psychological and emotional abuse must be defined, and recognized for what it is because it is every bit as damaging to people, if not more so than physical assaults. I am lucky to have survived my ordeal with them.
There is no legitimate doctrine that condones and supports ripping families apart, and doing crippling psychological, emotional and spiritual damage. Who gives a damn what the Exclusive Brethren believe in? I don’t care if they believe in purple unicorns. They should be no different than anyone else who chooses to join a church or embrace a belief system. They can believe what they like. But they do not have the right to harm children and families. They have no right to be using charitable tax dollars to abuse women and children, gain money and power, andadvance their nasty partisan political agendas.
What they believe in is their choice, and destiny. It only matters if it is taking away free will or causing people to suffer, especially children, families and innocent people. It crosses the line when they dictate the choices for others to include punishing other adults for infractions. Self-righteous judgment and punishment of others outside the parameters of the law, comes from a cavern of demons. It is pious tyranny rooted in false accusations and lawlessness. They rule over others but no one rules over them.
Some very different belief systems have been incorporated into mainstream religion in the past two hundred years. This literalistic dogma has been repeated and preached until fable has become the fabric of faith. When I first started researching all of this, the first thing I learned was the pre-tribulation rapture doctrine they preach was a Darby invention. Then I got to thinking, if that is obviously false, what else is false? Is the entire scope of it false?
What I learned through delving into it more, is many current mainstream religious teachings, were not part of the original Bible. The changes are not minor changes. They are all encompassing and extreme as well as being false. The following non-Biblical teachings have been incorporated into a Christian belief system. The entire scope of it is not based on Christian prophecy or eschatology. It is a cleverly crafted doctrine of Zionism. It is not the true gospel, but is a different doctrine entirely.
Dispensational teaching is something you might assume is fact if you listen to some preachers. It was another concept inserted into the Darby Bible translations giving a convoluted linear time line surrounding Biblical prophecy. Dispensational Biblical prophecy is not only from Darby, as it includes other heretical writings prior to Darby.
From the make-believe time line they created, they assume to know God’s plan and how it is unfolding. Their pessimistic preaching is not fact, nor is it in the original Bible. They came up with a seven-year tribulation, a pre-tribulation rapture, a lawless mentality, a single world leader antichrist, a one-world-order, separation of the State of Israel, a denial of the centrality of Christ, and a completely fictional account of God’s plans.
A dispensational belief system is the theory that provides them with the rationale and justification regarding the political involvement in the conflict in Israel. It permits them to create the framework for the terrible end-times tribulation they so graphically predict. It is a vision of horror, war, murder, torture, Christians getting persecuted, stung by locusts, and punished beyond our wildest imagination, as evil takes over the entire world. According to them, Satan will completely dominate the world during this time. Christians are hapless victims in the entire scenario, and had better keep a low profile so as not to be the first to get beheaded.
The terrible tribulation consists of a one-world religious order, and a one-world political order. They claim the political overtaking by evil forces is something no one can deter or influence. They tell Christians to stay out of politics. They do so because the leaders of the Zionist religious propaganda don’t want well-meaning people to stand up to their raunchy politics. They do not want to encounter resistance. They want us to believe what fits their agenda. This linear time frame is fear mongering and fictional. The world will not be overcome with evil. They just want to keep us scared so they can pitch the next fallacy, which is the pre-tribulation rapture.
The fundamentalist scenario makes Christians the bête noire rancor abhorred and disfavored by the malevolent and fiendish wicked world order. Once they have people fearing the coming tribulation and how nightmarish it will be, they throw out the pre-tribulation rapture as a life-ring. The levitation and ascension into the sky to escape the beast and persecution is a mesmerizing vision. They describe a global scene of complete chaos with blood running in the streets, and an absence of all that is good. As with all thought reform and brainwashing tactics, they scare people into an emotional crescendo, and then offer a bogus rescuer’s solution.
By the time you envision all the progressive horror, it is psychologically uplifting to opt for an airy elevation into the clouds. It’s a welcome abstraction if you haven’t fallen asleep listening to the sermon. The problem is, like most who portray themselves as heroic rescuers, you will soon find out they are not attached to the boat.
Some people do build castles in the clouds. Psychology calls it neurosis. The solution for the worldly woes of the saints is in a pre-tribulation rapture, gaining altitude with Jesus in the nick of time. This is not the official second coming, but rather an imaginary and secretive rapture for a chosen few.
Some denominations find the rapture supposition tough to fully espouse in this strange construct, so they adjust the belief to teach Christians will have to live through a portion of the seven-year tribulation. The modified belief claims they will get beamed up half way through the tribulation instead of at the beginning. This is called mid-tribulation rapture. There is a countdown for all the events of their invention marked out on a dispensational timeline. The countdown never turns out to be accurate, because none of these things ever actually happen.
Even when I was indoctrinated with some of this whited sepulcher, the pre-tribulation rapture was a major stretch. I wondered, “Why didn’t the Christians who got fed to the lions in the Roman coliseum get the cloud nine solution? Why wasn’t John the Baptist spared having his head put on a platter? How about all the Christians throughout history who have been tortured and executed?
Why would the end-times pre-tribulation rapture escape route only apply to the chosen ones among the last few billion people in the world? The world population estimates calculate more than a hundred billion human inhabitants since the beginning of man. The problem with the linear interpretation is you blindly walk off the ends of the earth, as opposed to grasping the unfolding of God’s plan for the entire history of mankind. It is highly unlikely anyone but God really knows the plan. Yet there are millions of men who claim to know every detail of His plan. In time, we may find out we have been deceived beyond our wrathful expectations.
One would think God’s conception must be wholly unconditional, and a vast plan for all humankind throughout all of history, not solely for the people at the end of the dotted line. I believe the true time lines are circular, not linear and that epochs change based on a dial, or a wheel as opposed to being plotted on a line. Based on the description of Ezekiel’s wheel, I envision axioms along the spokes of the wheel, anchoring and creating order in the unseen scope of our reality.
In addition to the tribulation fear, they have also created a real boogey-man called the antichrist. In truth, the Bible does not describe a single antichrist. It speaks of many antichrists in reference to those who reject Christ. However, the fundamentalists came up with a literalistic interpretation to include the creation of a single antichrist rising up to deceive us all. Apparently the antichrist will receive a massive blow to his head, and then he will provide a period of peace. But it is all a ruse. He will morph into the great and shining evil one who will fool everyone and take over the world.
In my opinion all of it is pure fiction, and is without any Biblical foundation. I honestly don’t think there is anyone who can fully understand the Bible. Snippets of verse can easily be taken out of context. It is turned into a fictional story, and used as a plot to control or lure people into a trap or ruse to get their money.
I believe we should study the bible for ourselves, remain humble, seek truth, trust God, and learn about it in a historical sense. We might come to an understanding that some of what is being predicted for the future, has already happened in the past.
Fear is not rooted in love, yet they are preaching and teaching fear at every turn. Evil does not have the power to overcome the good in this world. There will always be a balance of both good and evil. The male dominant fundamentalists want to groom us to be overtaken by evil, but it’s a hoax. The fundamentalist leaders are the ones who are evil, and they are the ones who want to overtake us.
The literalistic interpretation of the Bible might be the key component in the male dominant skewing of truth. They pluck verses out of the Bible and apply them in ways to serve and exalt themselves. Once I began to see through the deception and look up where they got some of these notions from, I would look at the verse and think, “That’s not what I get from it at all”.
If you don’t evaluate the source of where they are getting some of this false teaching, it means listening to and following the corruption of man, as opposed to gaining insight into the truth, and the incredible deception surrounding the Bible. What makes some men so overbearingly dogmatic as to fictionalize the Christian belief system, which is meant to be based on a personal choice, faith, free will, and the truth of God’s word – then treat their fiction as non-refutable fact to be crammed down our throats?
The literalistic interpretation of the Bible is at a loss when it comes to metaphor. Metaphor is an intrinsic element in language contributing to the conceptual framework and comprehension of ideas. A three year old will understand metaphor, “He’s pulling your leg”. “Don’t let him pull the wool over your eyes.” “He’s skating on thin ice”. We know these comments are representations of a larger concept.
Metaphor permits relevant and rapid association and visualization to enhance understanding. It is also intellectually stimulating adding spice, literary merit and decoration.Linguistic allegory, parable, and the many figures of speech serve to intensify the comprehension of compound characterizations within the kernels and points of language.
The best metaphors have many layers of meaning. As you begin to see the complexity of certain metaphors and the semantic layers, it is enlightening and thought provoking, as it is meant to be. The inherent genius in some metaphor is that some people may only see the top layer, yet it has a valid and edifying point. Another may see a secondary layer and broaden their understanding beyond their own expectations.
A third person may see how the meanings on each level contribute to a much larger understanding involving the spiritual world and the unfolding of a greater plan. The existence of metaphor or parables in the Bible cannot be refuted. The literalistic dogma basically ignores or redesigns what they don’t understand or what does not fit into their plans.
The eternal hellfire is also part of the false doctrine of fear. The fundamentalists will preach eternal hellfire and damnation for those who will not drop to their knees on the spot and accept Jesus as Saviour. But they are not sincere in wanting you to be saved. They want to emotionally prepare you to get fleeced. And this is only the beginning of how they are going to dupe you. The picture they paint is for naïve and trusting, head nodding, hobknobbing, good-hearted, not yet departed, well-heeled saints – to become a means to their monetary end.
They focus on fear and punishment and seem to think they are so pure in the eyes of God, they can stand up there and confidently rant and rave about what is going to happen to the rest of us. The Bible does contain metaphor and reference to a smoldering pit, which is difficult to interpret because it has a physical historical location as well as the spiritual connotations. It seems to be written in a spiritual context of demons, Satan and the false prophet.
However as far as the fate of humans, the Bible clearly states the wages of sin is death. There are numerous verses to reinforce this and absolutely nothing to refute it. In fact the Bible instructions surrounding those who harm and persecute us, is to pray for them, not for vengeance, but to pray for them to be blessed. The second death is referred to as the lake of fire in the book of Revelation.
We are not supposed to wish ill will upon anyone, even those who hate and persecute us, let alone envision them burning in hell forever. The Bible instructs us not to be overcome with evil, but to overcome evil with good. Where it talks about the time of God’s wrath on the wicked, we are advised not to envision, hope for or take any pleasure in it.
The fundamentalists mix up the wrath of God, with the persecution of Christians. They fail to differentiate the protection, promises, and salvation for true believers. They preach damnation, not salvation.
Fire and brimstone preachers, who stand proud on their pedestals, and pound out descriptions of an eternal hellfire, are definitely not thinking they will end up in hell. They get so revved up with the rhetoric they spew the accelerants out of their mouths.
They mean the rest of us, you and me. They are taking on the mentality they are so sinless and holy they can pour out the wrath of God upon the hapless congregation. Some of these holy-rollers might find their pants are on fire when the real judgment day rolls around. They will find out white is black and black is white.
The idea they can judge sinners, supports their chauvinistic approach to punishment and how it will be meted out. They firmly believe men rule over women at home and in the church. This off-base mentality is harmful and contributes to gender based hate crimes. Those who are trapped by these tyrants in victim roles cannot speak out. They have to extricate themselves first and many never do so because the autocrats have them nailed to the wall.
Those who escape or break free from the subjugation have to come forward for the sake of others. Deep-rooted emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse needs to be recognized as criminal behavior and banned. Religion can provide a dark cloak of secrecy and opportunity for vile conduct toward women and children while the perpetrators remain untouchable.
They consider emotional abuse and psychological coercion to be clever manipulation without a method for tracking the patterns. They target those who are weak and vulnerable. They will gang up on the victim. They bash those who defy them. They will not stop if the victim asks them to stop. They will only give it up if they are held accountable to some enforceable laws with some teeth in the wording. They are persistent, predatory, selfish, arrogant, insecure, controlling, cruel, and will not stop unless a higher authority stops them. They continue unhindered to freely destroy families and lives.
Since religious dogma in leadership adheres to the male dominant paradigm, often these men are self-righteously inclined to punish women. One thing about abusive men, they are looking for reasons to punish their victim. They will make false accusations, often character assassinations. If you disobey them, they will descend on you and accuse you of things you cannot defend.
If you look at the seven deadly sins as outlined in the Bible, a proud look, a lying tongue, minds that devise wicked imaginations, feet that run swift to mischief, hands that shed innocent blood, those who give false testimony, and those who spread discord among the brethren – It pretty much encompasses the attitude of the religious fundamentalists, to include the shedding of blood over the Israel conflict and countless other wars and atrocities carried out in the name of God.
In the song Spanish Pipedream by John Prine, the lyrics describe a soldier from Montreal going to a bar where he meets a topless dancer. “She danced around the bar room and she did the hoochy-coo”.They ended up going to the country to build themselves a home. One of the lines is “and try to find Jesus on our own.”The song probably has greater elemental truth in it than all the fundamentalists fire and brimstone church rants in the past two hundred years.
Separation of the State of Israel is central to the false doctrine. Once again the shifting to this belief system has caused nothing but conflict and strife. It is the essence of many church and political agendas. The Exclusive Brethren are a major political influence fuelling the conflict in Israel. The entire conflict revolves around Zionism, not Christianity. The New Testament Biblical truth tells us there is no separation, not only of the State of Israel but it lets us know, there is neither Jew nor Greek, bond nor free, male nor female because all are one in Christ. How is it the Gospel of love and peace turns into the gospel of destruction and war?
Every single nuance is contradictory. Those who deny and twist Bible verses have managed to do an incredible job of it. The Bible tells us how to discern good from evil. It says we will know them by their fruits. The fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness and faith.
I know the majority of people who go to church do so with good intentions. I am sharing my testimony of victimization to emphasize how important it is to createlaws that will prevent destructive cults from using religion as a cloak to cover up and justify criminal conduct.
The leaders of the Exclusive Brethren must be challenged and brought before the courts. They are imprisoning families and meddling in lives without respect for boundaries. Many innocent people have become targets of their destructive practices. They know people are far more vulnerable when there is family betrayal and breakdown. These practices should be criminalized.
They are networked full force into business, money and partisan politics. There is no respect for boundaries at any level. They are invasive, deceptive and meddlesome in all realms, while hypocritically claiming a doctrine of separation from the evil world. They have done far too much damage, and continue to do so without consequence.
It is time for the Exclusive Brethren organization to be challenged through sound intellect and reasoning, the truth, and the general laws of the land. Since they mix politics with business and religion, they defy democracy and they deny the truth of the Gospel. They worship money, not God. They magnify evil, not good.
Galatians 5: 1: Stand fast therefore in the libertie wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not intangled againe with the yoke of bondage.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The sad reality is that the drug treatment, and rehab is an industry in itself, which by design perpetuates the cycle of repeated treatments, followed by relapses, and then more treatment.
Recently I watched a documentary on the situation in British Columbia. The government does not provide that many treatment beds, mostly because the problem is so huge, the cost would be excessive, and partly because no one wants to take responsibility for the problem.
The government does provide some beds, but apparently a third of them do not provide any treatment options. The low barrier housing options allows the addicts to continue using drugs, with the provision of shelter, and other supports.
Many arguments for involuntary treatment are bandied back and forth. There are those who are adamantly against forcing treatment, and those who are just as unyielding on the issue of mandatory treatment.
Given the fact the number of government subsidized beds is so sparse, considering the scope of the problem, it has given rise to a range of private treatment centres, counsellors, and options for those seeking treatment, if they have sufficient financial backing. The payment for treatment usually comes from the family members of the addict.
However what many people may not know, is that the treatment centres are not regulated in BC. How many times do you read about former addicts going from addiction, to immediately becoming counsellors? They believe their experience qualifies them.
Clearly there can be benefits to peer counselling, and support groups. But we must keep in mind that former addicts have many years ahead of them to resolve their addiction, and reduce the chance of relapse. Unless they have many years of sobriety, they should probably stay away from other addicts, even though they might have intentions to help them.
Regarding some of the treatment centres, you hear of neighbours reporting that they thought the treatment centre was a crack house. All kinds of people are allowed to come and go without any kind of monitoring. The advertising for many of these places makes them sound like a five star resort. But when people get into the program, they find out it is a different story.
The cost of some of the programs is staggering, often tens of thousands of dollars. The background and credentials of the owner/operator is often fabricated. Some of the treatments are taken to the extreme, from sweat lodges, to Kundalini yoga, restrictive diets, excessive exercise, unsupervised fasting, etc.
When a family seeks out a treatment facility, they are often at their wits end, and in fear for the life of their loved one. They are in a vulnerable position when it comes to paying upwards of $60,000.00 for a ninety day program. Because the facilities are unlicensed, and unregulated, they have to take the advertising, and claims at face value.
This is where for profit drug treatment can fail people. There is no real incentive to see people get well for the long term. In fact the cycle of addiction often includes multiple relapses. These relapses are framed as “part of the journey” and are to be expected.
The success rate is going to be much higher if the addict is motivated to get well. Involuntary treatment does work for some people. If you listen to jailhouse interviews, or to those who spent time in jail as a result of an addiction, they will often say that being incarcerated is what got them on the road to recovery, because they had no other choice. It also gave time to reflect on what got them there, and what they needed to do to change direction.
In my opinion, individual care plans might help. The benefits of creating tailored care plans based on the addicts current situation, goals, general health, childhood trauma, and drugs of choice, could help to keep them on track.
A huge part of the problem is poly-pharmaceuticals, combining prescription drugs with street drugs. Also the inclusion of so many benzodiazepines in the mix is a recipe for disaster. Benzodiazepines, antipsychotics, and antidepressants can be more lethal than opiates.
When people become long term addicted to benzodiazepines, getting off them is a nightmare. With opiates there is a period of withdrawal, and sickness for several days. But once stabilized, they can move forward.
Benzodiazepines require a very careful, long term tapering of the drug to be able to manage the withdrawal. In one case, a man was able to help his wife by micro-dosing, with minute incremental reductions. She was doing quite well, but then her psychiatrist advised a more rapid reduction. She had extreme withdrawal, and quickly relapsed.
Antipsychotics interfere with dopamine, serotonin, histamine, and epinephrine. Benzodiazepines also interfere with dopamine, and various other neurotransmitters. If these drugs are combined with opiates, the person’s dopamine levels become an absolute mess, requiring long term treatment.
Three month treatment plans might get a highly motivated person past a crisis, but what needs to be addressed is that it takes years, not months to fully recover.
Primarily there has to be a change in neurochemistry, as well as gut health. This is in addition to supports for emotional, psychological and spiritual recovery.
Another long term effect of drug use, is EPS symptoms, or extrapyramidal side effects. These symptoms can vary widely in severity, from stiffness, to Parkinson like tremors, involuntary movements, restlessness and agitation etc. Antipsychotic drugs are the worst culprits, but many other drugs can cause these distressing symptoms as well.
In so many cases, people move away from street drugs, only to become dependant on potent prescription drugs that cause just as much harm. Short term gain for long term debilitation. The exchange is not recovery. It is misery, and an ongoing cycle.
The reason a well structured care plan might help, is to avoid some of the pitfalls, as well as being shunted from one psychiatrist’s opinions, and drug choices, to another. Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist can be certain they will be prescribed drugs. This is not going help balance the system to a state of wellness.
After the initial detox, the addict needs to set out long term goals, short term goals, and daily goals. The objective is to restore natural dopamine through diet, exercise, and goal setting. It also means changing old habits, and patterns, and staying away from areas where drugs are being used. It requires learning to set boundaries, as well as to avoid being manipulated, and/or manipulating others.
Manipulation is based on the need for control, and is a deceptive tactic. But underlying the need to control others, is an unstable locus of self-control. Self-control allows us to stick to a plan, and detach from the people or things that are prone to derailing us. We cannot thrive if we are people pleasers. If we are being manipulated, it does not come from a place of love or support.
Part of self care, is to learn to be your own butler, or caregiver. It may sound selfish, but it is important to learn how to take care of your own needs. After that, you are much better equipped to help with, serve, or take care of others. Without the ability to self care, we are at the mercy of anyone who tries to influence or control us. We lack boundaries, and end up responding in a knee-jerk fashion. This kind of response often leads to resentment.
By being your own butler, it means you are thinking ahead. You are planning meals, exercise, finances, making to do lists every day, and staying organized and focused. That way you are not an easy target for those who want to sway you, or exploit you, or simply get you to join them.
Breaking out of a cycle of victimization is not easy. We have to learn to take responsibility for the many mistakes we make. We also have to forgive the things others have done to us, while setting boundaries to prevent it from recurring.
We have to change. Change only comes about by changing daily habits, by exchanging resentment for gratitude, by changing our plans, and by finding ways to restore dopamine.
Dopamine is responsible for reward and pleasure, and therefore is a major contributor to mood. It is also responsible for cognition, memory, attention and focus, which is why it is so important to start creating a written plan, along with daily to do lists.
Dopamine also plays a crucial role in multiple other bodily functions related to sleep, blood vessels, heart rate, movement, posture, and kidney function. If a hospitalized person is on a dopamine drip, they are probably in ICU.
The ways in which drugs interfere with dopamine receptors in the brain, is vast and complex. Once a person is addicted to any substance, they face a long road to recovery.
But the good news is that unlike spinal cord injuries, or brain injuries, the recovery from addiction is possible. The younger, and healthier a person is, the more quickly their system can heal and recover.
The problem for many people, is that they expect to feel better within a matter of weeks. Or they switch from one dependancy to another, by going from street drugs to prescription psychotropics.
Switching addictions puts people on the path to relapse, one way or another. There has to be a plan to prepare for the bad days, to avoid the impulse to use again. No one is in a good mood all of the time. Learning healthy ways to cope with bad moods, is an integral part of self regulation.
Setbacks are not just a part of the addicts life, but rather, they are part of life. It can be anything from a broken down car, to finding out a spouse is having an affair. Losses can occur from extreme weather conditions, losing a loved one, to losing a job, or getting a knee injury, just when you make a coveted team.
Life has many obstacles, struggles and difficulties for all of us. For those with stable childhoods, they could still be affected by accidents, illnesses, sibling relationships, parental conflicts etc. A child’s disposition can affect the way they view the world. We simply don’t know to what extent a person is impacted by the events of their childhood.
Certain things like sleep training, perfectionism, high expectations, inflexibility, too much, or too little attention – can all have an adverse effect on how a child views the world. These things can have an impact on whether or not they develop security, confidence and trust.
If a parent favours one child over another, it can have an adverse effect on both the favoured, and the rejected child. It takes us a long time to be resilient as far as the opinions, or judgements toward us.
If children are constantly hovered over, without the freedom to play, or have some unstructured time to reach developmental milestones at their own pace, they might become anxious, depressed, or rebellious. They might find it difficult to take initiative.
Some kids are naturally coordinated. Others are clumsy. Some are academically inclined. Others are not, and may excel at sports instead. For the most part, children do not want to be shaped according to their parents values or expectations. They struggle for autonomy. Even the “perfect child” who seems to excel at everything, will not necessarily feel secure or confident.
In every family, among the siblings, most of us have observed that each child is a unique individual. Even though they grew up together, they may be very different from one another.
For those who came from a traumatic, chaotic, violent, and/or addictive childhood background, they have lifelong hurdles to overcome. The brain, the adrenal system, the dopamine, fear, anxiety, and coping mechanisms all become hardwired into the system. It affects self esteem, trust, security, learning, the way the future is viewed, and basically everything. It robs the child of a childhood, as they are faced with adult responsibilities, caregiving, and the struggle for survival at an early age.
The suggestion of learning to be your own butler, or caregiver, seems glib, but yet it does make sense. The guy who suggested this idea, is a successful executive who travels a fair bit. He said he likes to have his Keurig coffee set up the night before. He gets his clothes out, and plans what to wear. He goes to bed at night thinking about what he needs to do, to make his life easier, puts things in place, and wakes up planning his day for smooth sailing.
Yes, flexibility is a key character trait in well adjusted individuals, so we have to take all planning as an outline that might need to be changed or adjusted. If we become too rigid, we risk becoming insecure, like a toddler who needs a pacifier, blanket, stuffed animal, and story in order to be able to go to sleep.
For Christians, there are bible verses instructing us to give up self. Paradoxically the notion of self care might not align with abandoning self to follow Christ. However, Christ is within us, therefore we are to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and most of all, spiritually.
If we abandon self care, we will allow the forces of the world to take over our lives. Self care does not mean total selfishness. It is like when you sit on an airplane and the flight attendant goes through the safety instructions. They tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then assist the person beside you. The reason for this is because you cannot help anyone, if you cannot breathe.
People are often praised for being selfless. In order to serve others without being a manipulated people pleaser, we have to take care of ourselves. We have to be sober, vigilant, discerning, and capable of setting boundaries. We have to know our own limits, and seek God’s will for our life, as opposed to being men pleasers.
For those coming out of drug addiction, they also need to take care of the former child within, to help restructure life, and bring in some of the things they did not receive to help stabilize them as children. Childhood trauma is a root cause of addictive behaviours.
If we are honest with ourselves, we can recognize the manifestations of some form of addictive behaviours in our own lives. Addiction has many long and winding tentacles. It is not limited to drugs, alcohol, food and gambling. It is any behaviour that we repeat for short term escape, or gratification – in spite of the fact it is robbing us of something important.
What about guilt? Guilt robs us of the ability to forgive ourselves. Once we recognize the need to repent, we do not need to carry a burden of guilt. We are all flawed, and we all fall short of the glory of God. We are forgiven by the grace of God.
It means we can let go of past mistakes, hurt, shame, and guilt – to allow each day to be a clean slate. Our prior tribulation can end up benefitting us, if we have trust and faith in God.
The items listed here can be found on Temu, Amazon, sometimes the Dollar Stores, or London Drugs. I am putting links from Temu because it is cheaper. Almost all similar items in department stores, or on Amazon come from China anyway.
I am not a fan of fast fashion, but have learned that from a practical perspective, there are many things made in China, that make cleaning easier, or help to protect, take care of, and prolong the lifespan of the things we use on a daily basis.
The following is a computer cleaning kit with fifteen or sixteen small tools for between the keys, the keys themselves, and all the various nooks and crannies. It can also be used on camera equipment, phones, and other electronics. The bottom of it has a larger brush or duster that recesses back into the container. It measures just 2.25″ in diameter x 3.5″ high. It is actually very handy to have all those little tools stored in one place. The links below show the price comparison for the same item.
The next item is a flat, flexible rubber extension for a vacuum cleaner. It enables you to vacuum hard to reach places, like under the fridge where dust accumulates and clogs the condenser coils. The number one maintenance issue for fridges, is the condenser, which is what keeps it working to keep things cold. We are supposed to clean the condenser coils on a regular basis.
The problem is that a full size fridge weighs around 300 pounds. Most of them are not on wheels. The condenser coils are in different locations, depending on the model of fridge you have. Some are at the back of the fridge, some at the front, and even underneath. Most fridges are not on wheels because on many surfaces, they need to be levelled. Not only is it difficult to move them, but you have to take care not to damage the floor when they are moved.
If you can find a way to keep the area around the condenser coils clean without having to move the fridge, you can reduce the chances of expensive maintenance calls. Why wait to clean the area under the fridge for six months to a year, if you can do so once or twice a month with a long brush, or vacuum attachment? Out of sight, out of mind, is not good when it comes to electrical components and dust.
If the condenser coils are at the front, behind the grate, you can remove the grate and clean the coils yourself using a vacuum, and a brush. If they are at the back behind a panel, you have to get someone to move the fridge to clean the coils.
The rubber vacuum attachment is flat enough to fit under a fridge and stove, or other items that are difficult to move, in order to clean under them.
A similar idea is a flat duster with a long handle. This too will fit under a fridge, and stove to sweep the dust to the front where you can vacuum it up. Some brushes have long handles, and they too, will let you reach, and sweep dust to the front or side to be vacuumed, or swept up. They call these items gap cleaners.
Brushes are great for cleaning, and work for hard to reach places in dryers, under appliances, in the crevices of sliding glass doors, and so on. Old toothbrushes work well for some cleaning jobs, but sometimes you need a long, or a narrow brush. The following brush is good for cleaning the crevices in sliding glass doors and windows.
You can also choose from a variety of long handled brushes for under appliances, and other hard to reach areas, like under shelving units in the garage.
Q-tips are one of the best cleaning tools. They are good for applying small amounts of silver paste to clean sterling silver jewellery. They are also useful for cleaning small grates, and narrow places on appliances that are hard to clean with a cloth. If you do not have a computer cleaning kit, you can use a slightly damp q-tip to clean your keyboard.
A small electric air compressor is a little more expensive, but it might help lengthen the life of electronics, printers, and the fridge coils by keeping things free of an accumulation of dust. The following listing is a few dollars more than some of the others. It has the highest number of positive reviews, which is always a good sign.
Another thing to consider is the higher temperatures of air fryers, toaster ovens, and even kettles, and how they could potentially damage or stain kitchen cupboards and walls. Even if the toaster oven requires a space of eight inches above it, the temperature might still be a cause for concern for the upper cabinets.
In doing the research, I learned the temperature should not exceed 104F degrees, and that both heat and steam can warp or damage the cabinets. I measured the toaster oven with an infrared thermometer throughout a cook time of 30-40 minutes. The back and sides gave off the least heat, reaching around 120F, but the top registered at 170F, and since heat rises, a few inches above that was 175F.
The conclusion I made is that it is better not to place small appliances under the cabinets at all. A safer solution in my opinion, is to use a cart that is away from the upper cabinets, if you have room in your kitchen.
Amazon has some excellent carts, of various dimensions, that are easy to put together, and have adjustable shelves.
In this case, you can put the toaster oven on top, and the air fryer or InstaPot on the lower shelves. That way you can switch things around, to place whatever appliance you are currently using on the top shelf.
The cart I am using in the kitchen for the appliances, is a versatile multi-purpose very sturdy cart, with large casters, so it is easy to move. The handle can be removed if space is limited, or if it is in the way. Amazon has many different types of kitchen carts, to include some with wood butcher block tops, and others with more style.
I chose one primarily for the utilitarian aspect, sturdiness, as well as for the versatility. The fact it is very sturdy with large casters is a big plus. If you wanted to, you could have a butcher block piece of wood cut to size for the top.
The shelves have been adjusted to fit the taller appliances underneath. The bottom shelf is used for heavier cookware, like cast iron, to prevent excess weight, and strain on the slide-out cabinet drawers. The top shelf easily fits a toaster oven, as well as a kettle. That way there is no heat or steam constantly rising to the bottom part of the upper kitchen cabinets.
On this cart, the toaster oven door opens easily, and rests on the top part of the shelf. Because the door has tempered glass, I use a couple small silicone potholders to rest on when the door is open. They come in a variety of different colours. I have two red ones and two black ones. They are also great for lifting hot pot lids, or for moving pans with handles on the sides.
The next issue is the length of the cords, if the appliances are not on the counter top. A six foot 12 gauge heavy duty extension cord can be purchased for safe use with kitchen appliances. The key thing is to only use one appliance per outlet at any given time. You can purchase these extension cords in various colours to include white, for use in the kitchen. They are also waterproof, and can be used for other purposes.
So finally the only remaining concern, is for the wall directly behind the toaster oven. Even though the back of it does not get that hot, all appliances give off heat, therefore there should be a barrier of some sort on the wall behind the appliances. One option is to move the cart away from the wall a few inches when cooking.
Another option is to protect the wall with a heat resistant material. There are many types of heat resistant, flame retardant materials that will protect the wall behind the appliances. These include silicone, cork, and tin.
In the Victorian era, decorative tin was used around stoves, fireplaces, and ceilings, as decor, but primarily as fire prevention. In cabins, and rustic homes, tin plate is often used behind wood stoves and heaters.
Since the area behind small appliances only covers a space of around, 24″, you can buy 8″ x 12″ decorative tin panels, and hang two or three of them behind the toaster oven, to protect the wall behind it. They are inexpensive, easy to wipe clean, and have a wide variety of art work to choose from. Some examples.
Recently in the news there was a homeowner who was charged for using force during a home invasion in the middle of the night. There was a fair bit of controversy, because people tend to believe we have a right to protect ourselves in our own home.
How can anyone know what the motives of an intruder are? Your first fear would be for your own safety, as well as the safety of everyone else in the house. For those who live alone, the sense of vulnerability and fear might be interpreted as life or death.
In a case where a person is charged with using unreasonable force, how can a person who is in fear for their life know how to measure or minimize the amount of force to use? The adrenalin surge would be so overwhelming, the amount of force would be proportionate to the strength of the homeowner.
Sadly there have been cases where the invader was intoxicated or disoriented, and if in the US, they would probably be shot. But in Canada, fewer people have firearms.
Another recent case in the news was about a woman who stabbed several people in a park in Vancouver. Other random stranger attacks have left many people angered about the lenient treatment of repeat violent offenders.
Some of the attacks in recent years have been lethal. The Toronto subway seems to be especially dangerous. With the drug and homeless crisis, every city and town has more violence, probably far more than we realize.
Many people are teaching self defence. The range of self defence weapons in the US is staggering. Not only can they carry firearms, but they can also arm themselves with various types of knives, expandable batons, pepper spray, kubotans, tasers, and in some cases the tanbo type of fighting stick used in Japanese martial arts.
The fighting stick laws are more ambiguous. The fighting sticks are simply solid wood sticks, about 16 inches long, similar to a french rolling pin. Apparently they can be a lethal weapon if used to jab a person’s throat. When they teach people to use them, they are most effective when used on bone. People have become very skilled at using these weapons, learning rapid strikes on bones, and the element of surprise.
If someone is attacking another person with a knife, such a stick would be used to hit the wrist bone, the knee cap, the head, or the bridge of the nose. In addition to being used in Japan, they were also used in Ireland, where they are called “shillelagh” or the Irish knob stick, predominantly used in Irish street fighting.
The kubotan is a spiral keychain weapon, and can be made out of wood, metal or hard plastic. This item can be applied to the radius bone, which is on the thumb side of the wrist, and used to take down an attacker.
One of the few items that cannot be carried in the US, is the Bolawrap. Until I started doing a bit of research, I had never heard of some of these items. The Bolawrap is a kevlar cord controlled by a handheld device, and can be used from a distance to create a restraint, sort of like a high tech lasso. The cord can be aimed at the legs, or torso and arms, in order to stop or restrain a suspect. These can only be used by law enforcement.
Compared to the US, Canada does not allow any of the above mentioned self-defence items to be carried. We cannot carry guns, knives, clubs, batons, kubotans, pepper spray or tasers. In fact, it is illegal to carry any item if it is being carried for the purpose of self-defence.
What can we carry? We can carry personal alarms, whistles, and dog spray to be used only on a vicious dog, not on a person.
To get around these restrictions, some of the self defence teachers are advocating the use of canes, walking sticks, strong umbrellas (with a pointed end), and tactical flashlights. All of these things are items a person may have for utilitarian reasons, not for self defence. If you happen to use it if you are attacked, it could be explained as reflexive, or the only thing on hand during a time of crisis.
Personally, I cannot imagine whacking someone with a cane, or a flashlight. But I am pretty sure I could hit a vicious dog if I had to. Although even that would be a stretch. I am hardly fast enough to swat a fly, so I doubt I would be able to react quickly enough.
I do understand why people believe they have a right to defend themselves, and I think each situation has to be evaluated based on the circumstances. However, I am very glad we do not have the weapon mentality that seems so prevalent in the US. Some of those guys are carrying six or eight different weapons, just to go to the store.
It makes sense to be alert, aware of your surroundings, and to take a wide berth around any mean, or crazed looking people or dogs. But when people become too paranoid, they can easily become the aggressor. How many times does a person who is carrying a knife for protection end up using that knife, and getting charged with murder?
If you listen to the forensic experts, and medical examiners, they will tell you the number one cause of homicidal death is stabbing. And it is usually inflicted by someone the victim knows.
The trouble with arming yourself, is that you might begin to expect, or anticipate an attack. Especially for men, this could create a demeanour that gets the ire of someone who is looking for trouble.
Alternatively, to be alert, yet meek and ordinary without attracting attention, might allow you to walk through some troublesome areas, without provoking anyone.
There is a fine line between carrying yourself quietly, non-threatening, and respectful of others no matter who they are, without being vulnerable. For people who are stronger, and more confident, they too have to find a balance, so as not to come across as cocky or threatening.
When we are young and fit, we have a pretty good chance of being able to out run someone. As we age, we realize we couldn’t outrun anyone, unless they were dependant on a walker to get around.
In many cases, our words are probably our best defence. Words get people into trouble, and words can get people out of trouble.
Night time is notoriously more dangerous than daytime.
Since people who are murdered, or seriously harmed in an attack, are usually attacked by someone they know, it stands to reason to trust your intuition, and avoid anyone who gives you cause for concern.
Our intuition is probably our best self defence. The more we trust our intuition, the safer we are.
Canada overall, is still one of the safest countries in the world. Yes we do have crime, drug problems, and a need for bail reform. Even so, we still rank near the top, and are consistently, year after year, one of the safest countries in the world.
Compare that to the US. They rank 131 out of 163 countries on the global crime scale. Perhaps that is why they are so gung-ho to be carrying everything from pistols, to knives, and batons.
But the real question is – does the aggressive self-defence mentality actually lead to more violence? Although I know very little about the topic of self-defence, I do tend to believe that all those weapons are part of the problem.
Relationships are complex, and often rife with conflict. In a state of extreme anger, betrayal, jealousy or rejection, it would be far too easy to use that handy weapon in the heat of an argument, especially if one or both people are under the influence. I think more people are killed by the guns in their own households in the US, than we can begin to imagine.
People shoot their spouse, claiming they thought it was an intruder. The resulting investigation often reveals affairs, money problems, and a large insurance policy on the victim.
Others shoot their spouse, and then claim a masked intruder snuck in and did the deed. Others shoot a family member, and then say it happened when they went to the store for fifteen minutes. Someone must have been waiting in the bushes for them to leave…You have to wonder.
If you consider the strictness of the laws in Canada, with regards to what you cannot carry for self defence. Then compare that to the US, and all the things they can, and do carry for self defence, it should tell us something.
I am grateful to be living in Canada where we do not expect almost everyone we come across to be carrying a gun. A gun in a woman’s handbag, in the glove box, and the waistband for men. Some of them have a half a dozen guns throughout their house. To me, that is far more scary than seeing drug addled people huddled in an alley.
Violence begets violence. This is a quote attributed to Martin Luther King, but there is more to it. The actual quote is “Hate begets hate; violence begets violence, toughness begets a greater toughness”.
Therefore the moral of the story is to love one another. The bible tells us to love God, to love one another, to love our brother, to love our neighbour, and to turn the other cheek.
The bible also tells us the meek shall inherit the earth, and the just shall live by faith. God is our protector and our defender. Truthfully, there is probably a far greater spiritual battle swirling around us than anything else.
Certain Christian nationalists, and extremist mindsets believe in violence, war, self-defence etc. But the bible tells us to put on the full armour of God. In these verses, there is no mention of using physical weapons.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Just reading the Amazon reviews gives an indication of how frequently small appliances cause fires. Some of the people posting reviews shared photos of a completely burned bread maker, or air fryer. Another percentage of reviewers describe the appliance starting to smoke, so they immediately unplugged it.
Certain appliances have recalls on them due to faulty wiring. An example is an earlier version of the Cosori air fryer. In 2023 Cosori recalled more than 2 million air fryers due to a faulty wire connection.
It seems bread makers can also be a fire hazard, which could be partly due to ingredients spilling over onto the elements without the homeowner realizing it.
For people who live in older homes, we have to take into consideration that countertop plugins were initially designed for simple coffee makers, kettles, and toasters. Now we have combination appliances like countertop convection ovens that double as air fryers.
In looking at many of these countertop appliances, in particular convection oven/air fryers I noticed that most of them are 1800 watts.
If you open the breaker box in your house or condo, and have a look, you will notice that most breakers are 15 amp, which means they can take a maximum load of 1800 watts.
However, common sense tells us we should not use the maximum wattage. If you look it up, the advice is not to exceed 80% of the wattage. Therefore the countertop appliances should not be more than 1500 watts. If you are running a high wattage appliance, nothing else should be plugged into that outlet.
The breaker box indicates which locations have higher amp circuits, such as the one needed for a stove. But what confused me is that it pointed out two countertop plugins, numbers 8 and 9 both with 15 amps, and two red ones labelled as 20 amps. So that means two of the countertop plugins should be 20 amps. But which ones?
I looked it up to find out that the 15 and 20 amp plugins are usually different. The 20 amp plugins have a small T-shape where the appliance plugs in, as a safety feature, and to differentiate it from the 15 amp plugins. But alas, they all look the same, so I could not tell if any of the plugins can safely take an 1800 watt countertop appliance.
You can get a plugin meter for around $20 on Amazon that will tell you if your plugin is being overloaded. They are designed mostly to measure consumption, and help you determine how much electricity a certain appliance is taking from a cost perspective. But they don’t tell you if the plugin has 20 amps, because the device is made to measure the electricity from 15 amp plugins.
The other types of voltage metres require more electrical expertise than my own limited knowledge. You have to somehow wire them into the system.
But as a cautionary element surrounding all the more advanced small appliances, it is a good idea to carefully check the wattage required. So many of the manufacturers have set the appliances up to draw the absolute maximum of 1800 watts.
For those who do opt for an 1800 watt small appliance, I think one of the plugin overload warning gadgets would be a good idea, so you are given advance notice of a circuit overload, and can shut it off.
The other thing the companies who make these products often advertise, is to set a bread maker up with a timer, so you can wake up to fresh made bread. You just might wake up to the smoke detector by the sounds of it. The small appliances, unless they are very low wattage, should not be left unattended. That would include some of the high wattage coffee makers.
Slow cookers, or crock pots have been around since the 1970’s, and to my knowledge they have not posed much of a fire hazard. If you look up the wattage, they are typically around 250-400 watts.
The whole idea with slow cookers, is that you could put the ingredients in the pot in the morning, go to work, and come home to a hot meal. But I don’t think they really got used all that much, which might be the reason we did not hear about them causing fires. They stayed in the bottom drawer, until they were donated to the thrift store. How many people want to get up in the morning, and cook dinner, before going to work?
The newer and more complex coffee makers can take up to 1500 watts. Bread makers range between 450-850 watts. Air fryers and countertop convection ovens range between 800-2000 watts.
Another thing to consider, is whether or not the appliance is hard to clean. If there are crumbs, or oil and grease that build up, it is more likely to catch fire.
It seems that some of the fire risks are the result of faulty manufacturing, and others are the result of the owner/operator not being aware of the potential circuit overload, or the risk of a build up of crumbs, oil and grease.
I suppose the takeaway, is to think it through, and do plenty of research, as far as buying those appliances in the first place. If you do buy one, stay home while it is running, don’t run it at night, and keep it clean.
Personally, I have decided not to buy any countertop appliance that exceeds 1500 watts. It does not make sense to buy an appliance that maxes out the circuit. In fact, it makes me wonder why they don’t limit the wattage on countertop appliances to 1600, or even 1700 watts at the most. After all, they know about the standard 15 amp/1800 watt wiring in most homes, when it comes to counter top plugins.
I often take note of what kinds of small appliances end up in the thrift stores. When I go out for a walk, I will often include walking around a thrift store, to see what is there. It tells you what appliances either broke down, or were not useful enough to keep. Among the most common small appliances I see are toaster ovens, and those small electric waffle makers. Go figure.
Some things are just better the old fashioned way. What is wrong with a regular toaster to make toast, and a pan to make waffles?
I have never used a bread maker, so I really don’t know how well they work. It sounds like they might be a fire hazard, and are notoriously difficult to get the right texture, with even cooking throughout. I prefer making bread the old fashioned way, kneading dough by hand. It’s kind of therapeutic.
Just FYI there is a government website that lists all the products that have recalls, and safety alerts, so you can check before you make the purchase.
With Thanksgiving coming up, most people will be doing more cooking than usual. From roasting a turkey and/or ham, to making soup afterwards.
The kitchen gadgets are trending faster than anything these days it seems. Air fryers, Insta Pots, food processors, and every mini gadget you can think of.
Some people are truly gourmet cooks, and make everything from pasta, to mayo, yoghurt, humous, salsa, bread, fancy pastries, sauces, etc.
For the average person, we need some good knives, and a few good pots. Recently while cutting tomatoes from the garden to freeze, I accidentally cut my index finger. It is the first time I have cut myself in many years. I usually use a fairly small Shun utility knife, but in this case used a larger knife, so I guess it was the unfamiliarity with that particular knife that caused the slip.
After cutting my finger, I started wondering about finger guards, and sure enough, you can buy all different kinds. Some of them are designed to protect manicured nails. They are individual metal guards with tops similar to nails. They are designed to help with tasks instead of using your nails, like peeling garlic, opening plastic containers, etc. They remind me of the metal finger picks used by bluegrass musicians.
Another kind has a small metal shield on one side, with a hole or two to put your fingers in on the other side, to steady it, and create a barrier between your fingers and the knife, while chopping vegetables.
You can also buy leather finger protecters, which are more commonly used in sewing. You can buy silicone finger protecters, which are probably more flexible, but may not protect your fingers from all cuts. If you do have a band-aid on your finger, you can cover it with a silicone protecter to keep it dry. Another option is to use a thimble on one or two fingers. It seems to me it is usually the index finger that gets sliced. But the finger next to the index finger is also at risk.
As with most people, I hate cutting myself. Mostly because it is a portal for infection, and we need to use our hands for almost everything. There are some very good natural wound healers without having to go to a pharmacy. You can use castor oil, or vaseline with a drop or two of an antimicrobial essential oil. Vaseline is a highly under rated topical would healer.
For those of us who worked in hospitals, we know that surgeons often ordered petroleum infused dressings, or even petroleum packings for wounds, over and above all else. A bit of vaseline keeps the wound moisturized, protects it from the migration of microbes, and promotes healing.
If you do cut yourself, you have to make sure you don’t get an infection, in spite of the fact you have to keep using your hands. This includes frequently changing the band-aid, after it gets wet, and keeping an eye on the wound for signs of infection.
The finger guards can be found on the website Temu, which I know is controversial. But it does have many inexpensive handy little gadgets to use in the kitchen. The finger guards are just a dollar or two each.
They also have coloured silicone zip ties that can easily be removed, and re-used. They are a few inches long, and are very handy for wrapping and holding small appliance cords in place. There is another kind of appliance cord gadget that sticks onto the appliance, to wrap the cord around it. I find the little zip ties work much better.
Can anyone find an air fryer with a stainless steel basket, instead of the coating that may end up in your food? This is especially a concern because air fryers cook things at such high temperatures. The oven style air fryers often have stainless steel racks, but according to all the YouTube cooks, they do not work as well as the basket types, and make a mess. They are basically a mini convection oven.
Cutting a piece of parchment paper to place at the bottom of the basket does work. The parchment stays in place. You can also add a stainless steel insert if you can find the right size. That way the food is cooked on stainless steel, instead of the coated interior. There are some concerns about chemicals in parchment paper, but not as bad as the coated cookware breaking down over repeated use. Parchment is used once and discarded. You can also try paper liners specifically for air fryers.
There are a few air fryers on the market now with borosilicate glass baskets. They tend to be expensive, and the reports on how they cook are not great. Perhaps over time they will make improvements in the design, or better yet, make a good quality stainless steel basket.
For the turkey soup, another issue is that of the all clad stockpot, versus the cheaper single ply stainless steel brands. All clad is a proprietary name for triple ply metals used in the better quality stockpots.
The prices for clad, or triple ply metals in a stockpot vary from $100-$400 for a 16 quart stockpot. These pots often have nickel free stainless steel, with one of the interior layers made of aluminum because aluminum is a very good heat conductor.
If you happen to have a cheaper stainless steel stock pot that causes food to stick on the bottom, you may not have to discard it. You can buy various different types of heat diffusers to place on top the burner underneath the stock pot.
Just check to be sure the heat diffuser is compatible with the type of stove top you have. Many of them are made for gas cooktops. There are different varieties to include stainless steel, cast iron, and aluminum.
Since aluminum is a good conductor of heat, it is a good choice as a heat diffuser, and layer underneath your stainless steel stock pot. I think it is a good idea to get one that is flat, and covers the entire burner without slipping, as opposed to one that has feet to raise it. I don’t think it is a good idea to have a 16 quart stockpot full of hot soup sitting on a base with feet, as it could create a risk for tipping and burns. You can buy a large size flat aluminum heat diffuser for $14.
If a flat heat diffuser is not sufficient, you can opt to place your stockpot inside a large cast iron frying pan. A 16 quart stockpot will just fit inside a 12″ cast iron, or stainless steel frying pan. That way the soup will not burn on the bottom, even if you don’t stir it every thirty minutes. It would most certainly classify as a clad bottomed invention, for your cheaper stock pot!
It is also time to start thinking about overwintering plants, and possibly keeping a supply of herbs on hand. If you have a metal plant stand, you can over winter quite a few plants by placing some protection around the plants, and then giving it a greenhouse effect using a plastic cover.
Once the plants are covered, and frost is expected, you can try a few different warming options. You can pick up a few cheap stainless steel leakproof water bottles that cost about a dollar each at the thrift stores. If you fill them with boiling water and then wrap them in silicone bakeware, which is also available at the thrift stores, you can put them between the plants at night.
Mini bungee cords, are also very handy. You can buy short 3″ ones, or longer 6″ ones with balls at the end, and also some longer 6-8″ ones with small hooks on the end. These are very useful for securing things, and for wrapping and storing items so they stay organized, and take less space. They are also good for wrapping, and securing the silicone around the water bottles, to keep them hot overnight for the plants.
Anytime you have something that tends to tip over, whether it is a foldable cart, or a tall foldable step stool, you can secure things in place with a small bungee. They are also handy to have in a portable grocery cart if you use one, in case you decide to buy some garden stakes, or something else that my wobble, and tip in the cart. If you use zippered bags in your grocery cart, and walk to the store, you can use them to secure the bags, so they don’t blow away on windy days, while you are walking to the store.
For those who prefer to walk to get groceries, the absolute best grocery buggy by far, is the Wadabuggy. Even though it is more expensive than most, it is ten times better. The front wheels are large, and have springs, therefore you do not get jarred every time there is a crack in the sidewalk. It is very easy to maneuver in the grocery aisles, turns on a dime, and is smaller than the in-store grocery carts.
You can fit two 17″ by 10″ zippered grocery bags in the lower level, and two smaller 12″ size in the top basket. It also has a smaller container facing you as you walk, to keep your sunglasses, water bottle, Kleenex, magnifier, or phone in.
The cart has an adjustable wrapped handle, and folds easily to put into a car. The wheels are dead easy to take off and put back on, requiring just a small clip to release them. This makes it very easy to check and maintain them as well. I use 3:1 silicone spray for the wheel components every six months or so, taking care not to spray it on the rubber wheels.
The buggy holds a total of a hundred pounds, which is a fair bit considering most carts might fail even if you have fifty pounds. The last thing you want is to have a wheel break when you are walking with groceries. After a year of steady use, this cart is still as good as new. The buggy is available on Amazon. The link below shows all the features. For those with small dogs or cats, you can get a pet carrier for the top basket, instead of using it for groceries. They also have beach buggy attachments with large wheels for going over sand.
The problem with the cheaper carts that you pull, is they cause shoulder and neck strain after awhile, especially if they are heavy. They are also not that convenient inside the store.
The metal carts are quite popular, and are often advertised as being able to hold 300 pounds. Don’t believe it. There is no way they will hold 300 pounds. I would not trust those carts with 50 pounds. They might be fine to use to walk around a store, and then fold and put in the car for transfer into your house or condo. But they are not good for walking because the front wheels are so small, and are attached with plastic.
Silicone bakeware must not be that popular for baking. Somehow I think metal, or glass pans are more palatable to most cooks. I don’t trust that silicone is free of chemicals when used repeatedly in the oven. By the amount of silicone bakeware seen in thrift stores, it looks like others feel the same way. But silicone is very good for certain things, and you may be able to repurpose it.
I use silicone to encase lithium batteries for storing. For instance a drill with a lithium battery inside a dedicated plastic drill box that holds all the drill bits, also has a spot for the battery. But lithium batteries are not supposed to come in contact with any metals, including coins and paper clips, let alone metal drill bits that do not always stay in their little slots. So one does wonder why the lithium drill battery is placed inside the drill box with all the drill bits, without being covered.
You can buy thin silicone covers for keyboards, and even silicone bags for kneading bread. These cost a couple of dollars. Silicone is very good for protecting lithium batteries from coming in contact with any metals.
Silicone is an excellent thermal insulator, flame-retardant, and waterproof barrier for lithium batteries. Keep in mind, lithium batteries no matter what size they are, should not come in contact with each other, other metals, or moisture. Most importantly using silicone as a barrier will mitigate issues like thermal runaway, and damage from moisture and vibration.
In the case of the drill battery, I wrap the battery in thin silicone covering (a silicone keyboard dust cover). It does not add bulk, so the lid closes easily, and you can still keep all parts together in one place. Most importantly, it protects the lithium battery from coming in contact with any of the metal drill bits.
Another idea for the plants is to use a USB coffee mug warmer, and a power bank for cold frosty nights, or periods of cold snaps during the winter. The power bank can be put inside a waterproof container, and the coffee mug warmer can be put into a small stainless steel container, to protect it. I plan to try this method for the first time this winter, because I think it will outlast the bottles with hot water and silicone. You can then recharge the power bank during the day when the sun comes out. The USB coffee mug warmers cost around $6 each.
As far as plant cuttings and indoor seedlings, there are some very complicated and expensive growing set ups. Regardless, it is not easy to compete with direct sunlight. If you place the plants in front of a sunny window, it is more than half the battle.
As far as grow lights, unless you have a major operation going, I tend to think a caged pendant light above the plants with a full spectrum LED bulb, should be sufficient for adding supplemental light over the winter. It is also uncomplicated, and poses no risk. LED bulbs use up less electricity, provide light equal to higher wattage bulbs, and do not tend to overheat. With a pendant light you don’t have to worry about clamp on lights falling over, getting wet, or getting in the way.
These tips for warmth and heat for plants have a total cost of around $20 to include the silicone wrapped bottles, mug warmer, and LED bulbs. A power bank is around $35 unless you already have one. Power banks can be used in the cold, but lose some of their efficiency. I plan to use a lined waterproof plastic camera box to help protect it, so it does not get ruined. The lid will have to be partially open for the cord, but it will still protect the power bank from the elements.
Although these are mostly inexpensive, and not elaborate tips – I hope they contribute to a bountiful, and safe Thanksgiving!
It took many years before I got past the backsliding, the pain, anger over falsehoods, and a career I did not choose, or take credit for – until I was finally ready to admit the depth my own sin.
Yes we fall victim to the sin of others, but we cannot change other people. Forgiveness is not a superficial or insincere apology. It is a process, involving much soul searching, combined with God’s grace.
We forgive others because He forgives us, and we know darn well we do not deserve His grace, or His forgiveness. Forgiveness is based on His love, mercy, and the hope of salvation. The promise of eternal life is a gift from God. Because of this we are able to forgive, and pray those we have wronged, neglected, or hurt – can forgive us.
No one likes to hear the word sin. Why? Because in our hearts we are convicted to the core. God gave us a conscience for a reason. We could call it vice, error, wickedness, neglect, bad behaviour, self deception, or blunder. But those are just synonyms for a much shorter, all encompassing word.
People prefer to call sin a mistake, or a mental illness, a criticism, a disease, a chemical imbalance in the brain, unfair judgement, or better yet – just ignore it all together. But sooner or later we have to face ourselves, regardless of how we might think we are presenting a perfect image to the outside world.
There is a phenomenal amount of deception in this world. But few things can surpass self-deception when it comes to the proud and haughty projection of raw hubris. Jesus warns us many times to not be deceived. This warning includes self deception.
We must learn to recognize or discern sin and deception, not to judge, but to steer clear of the pitfalls involved. Of all sin, pride, and lying are the the most destructive forms of self-deception. How do we know for sure what God hates? It is outlined in Proverbs.
Once we truly recognize our sin, we are humbled beyond words, just as the song Amazing Grace so aptly describes. Repentance is a blessing based on the grace of God. It puts us on the path to forgiveness, and a change of direction.
Some of us, myself included, have erred so much we can hardly grasp the scope of it. We are convicted in countless ways. Yet we cannot change the past. We can only go forward with a changed heart, and outlook, as God in His mercy, begins to show us the way. We are to embrace the newness of each day, with hope and thanksgiving.
You might be thinking, “What did you do?” The scope of possibilities when it comes to specific sins is vast. Deception is not always outright lying. Sometimes it is pretending everything is okay when it is not. It can also be a failure to set boundaries, to include being a people pleaser. It can be a failure to take care of ourselves, or our loved ones. It can be avoidance of communication we do not want to face. If we allow things to go against our better judgement, a small problem can become a monumental problem.
If we fail to honour our mother and father, that too, is sin. The Fifth Commandment is found in Exodus.
We tend to have cognitive bias related to our own abilities, which can lead to pride. Or we might have excelled at something, in sports, academics, making money, or attracting the opposite sex, or being popular in general. Often at the root of pride, is where we find our own insecurities. We might be using accomplishments to cover up deep-rooted insecurities.
As believers we have the bible to instruct us, and the Holy Spirit to guide, and warn us of danger. We have to learn to pay attention. God will not overtake our free will, but he will warn us, and take care of us, if we trust in Him.
Fear of men (or women) is also a sin. If we fear someone, chances are we are letting them control us. We are supposed to fear God, not men. Lacking courage is a sin. Holding onto anger is a sin. It is not a sin to be angry, because all of our emotions have a purpose. The purpose of anger is to make a grievance known. It is meant to facilitate boundaries, and hopefully reconciliation. But it is not supposed to be held onto, or simmer into rage or hatred.
Admitting or acknowledging the sin in our life, is not an attack on our self-esteem. Being humbled is what brings grace, and patience. There is a difference between being humbled, and being ashamed. We can let go of the shame, because the bible tells us hope takes away our shame.
We cannot serve two masters. As believers, we must put God at the centre of our lives, our thoughts, our identity, and our future. To allow someone else to abuse us, or push boundaries, or try to destroy our faith through manipulation and lies, is also a sin on our part. We are not hapless victims. God is on our side, and He will help us. We have to learn to trust Him, and have faith in the outcome. He knows what we have been through.
There are countless ways we can be addicted, to drugs, alcohol, sex, money, shopping, food, cigarettes, and so on. We can be addicted to work, television, video games, the Internet, social media, or even certain causes. We might think obsessing over a cause is not a sin. But anything that commands our attention to the exclusion of all else, is unhealthy. Anything we do that is unhealthy, is sinful because we are supposed to take care of ourselves.
Our thoughts can also be sinful, whether it is anger, revenge, ill will toward a neighbour, lust, or cursing inwardly about something. Dwelling on the past is sinful too, because once God has forgiven us, we are to become a new creature.
So how can we be without sin? Once we recognize and confess our sins, then change our ways, we begin to leave some of it behind. Then gradually we become liberated from the bondage of sin. The bible is our instruction manual. God searches our hearts, and minds. We cannot pretend or hide anything from God.
Over the years I have known many Christians who never once admitted wrongdoing. In fact, some Christians seem to believe their Christian claims, and churchgoing, makes them superior to other people. Money also contributes to excessive pride. This notion is fuelled by all of our ingrained beliefs surrounding the image of having a successful life.
Yet this is what the bible says about those who have a self-righteous attitude, without every admitting their own sins and faults. 1 John 1:8-10.
It is true that we should work hard, and be clean and organized, for the sake of our peace of mind, our neighbours, and the stewardship, and appreciation of our surroundings. We don’t have to be rich to take care of our home, and be thankful for the roof over our head. It is not about works, it is simply day to day care and attention.
As we grow in faith, we have to realize the term Christian means different things to different people. There are many religions, denominations, and teachings. One of the things we have to sort out is truth from fable.
Until recently, I did not understand what “praying the rosary” meant. It is a repetition of prayers, bead by bead, which is part of the Catholic tradition.
Other aspects of the Catholic tradition is a reverence for Mary, confessions to a pastor for forgiveness of sins, the near worship of the pope, and the concept of purgatory.
Catholic traditions have many twigs and branches, such as Calvinism, Lutheranism, Anglican, Amillennialism – offshoots of the Protestant Reformation, which emerged in the 16th century. These denominations reject some of the traditional Catholic teachings, while maintaining others.
Christian Zionism came about in stages, beginning around the time of the Protestant Reformation with writers Francis Kett and Thomas Brighton. Later in the 19th century, the writing of Theodore Herzl advanced the concept.
In the mid 1800’s John Darby introduced most of the aspects of Christian Zionism as we know it in the western world. He changed many verses in the bible, divided it into seven dispensations, separated the Jews from the Gentiles, and invented the pre-tribulation rapture doctrine. The essence of what he taught was that the Jews have a promised land to return to, and God treats them as special. But that is not what the bible says.
Galatians 3:28
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
The Darby bible believers began with the Plymouth Brethren in Dublin, Ireland. John Darby was a former Anglican priest. He introduced the rapture theory based on the description given to him by a teenage girl, who supposedly claimed to levitate during a seance.
As time went on the Plymouth Brethren church faced many splits and schisms. The Exclusive Brethren, the most extremist of all of them, rose out of those sects, and took root in various countries throughout the world.
In 2007 the Australian Federal labour leader called the Exclusive Brethren an extremist cult that ripped families apart. Some journalists dubbed them the “Brethren Bullies”. Journalist Michael Bachelard wrote the book “Behind The Exclusive Brethren: Politics, Power, Persuasion and Persecution”. This book was written following his role as an investigative journalist, citing their influence in politics over former PM John Howard.
Their political meddling, family break-ups, control over members, fund raising, and secretive tactics have been pointed out in many countries to include Canada, the US, Australia, New Zealand and Britain. Their numbers are not really known, but estimated to be around 55,000.
The list of cults is a very long list. The common denominators among cults is that they mix truth with falsehoods. They usually rely on reverence for a specific leader. They are avid fund raisers, and use many different tactics to control members, and their families. They are often divisive, and do not hesitate to lie. All under the guise of being elitist Christians as their name suggests.
In the early 1900’s the Darby teaching of Christian Zionism was advanced by C.I. Scofield, and the Scofield reference bible. Scofield put extensive footnotes in the bible, which for the most part, make no sense. But nevertheless, the Evangelical Christian movement grasped onto the Zionist teachings.
Millions of Christians who grew up in these churches had no idea how recently Christian Zionism had been introduced. Nor did they break it down and compare it to the original bible. It was taken verbatim as the truth of the Gospel.
My husband used to say that if you learn to do something the wrong way, you just get better and better at doing it wrong. At the time he was referring to sports, like a swim stroke, or a golf stroke, or basketball drills.
But there is wisdom in what he said, because it applies to most things in life. Patterns of daily living easily become ingrained routines, or bad habits. Certain falsehoods become indoctrinated beliefs. If we do not examine it for ourselves based on what it says in the bible, we are likely to be deceived.
We each have our own journey, surrounding our faith, our beliefs, and most of all sorting out what is true, and what is false. The various churches and denominations often have complex belief systems, steeped in years of repetition, and tradition. Such strongholds are not easily broken.
Only Jesus knows what is in our hearts. Anyone who adamantly states certain people are going to hell, is being presumptuous and judgemental. We cannot know who is going to hell. Our main focus has to be our own spiritual life. I believe it is of utmost importance to share the gospel, for the wisdom and guidance it offers us. We are quick to err if we lean on our own understanding.
We can find the truth in the original bible, to help us navigate our lives. We are not responsible for what others believe. If those belief systems have harmed us spiritually, we are to forgive. Escaping oppressive belief systems is truly liberating.
Recently I was listening to some of the speeches delivered at the United Nations. It is understandable that becoming the leader of a nation, might cause some of those leaders to have excessive pride. Others have more wisdom and humility. The bible has many verses warning people about excessive pride.
We should not make the mistake of thinking forgiveness is a license to sin. Although we are instructed to forgive one another, it is Christ who has the power to forgive for all eternity. No one can pull the wool over the eyes of God. True repentance is not a glib apology without remorse. It involves a change of heart.
Luke 16:15
15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.
For those who do find the way, the truth and the life through the grace, and true gospel of Jesus Christ, the promise and hope is throughout the bible. Believe in Christ, repent, forgive, and be forgiven.
Revelation 21:4
4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The descriptions of duplicity in the bible are not conspiracy theories. They were definite conspiracies, with great historical significance. We do not call them conspiracy theories, because they were actual conspiracies. All of these examples help to reinforce that it is human nature to deceive, and to conspire.
One of the earliest conspiracies was when Rebekah, the mother of twin brothers Jacob and Esau told Jacob to go and get goat hair to put on his arms. This was so he could pretend to be his brother Esau, when visiting his blind and sick father before he died. As a result, Esau as the first born twin, ended up losing his birthright. The account of this is in Genesis 27:15-29.
Both Isaac and Esau realized they had been duped, but it was too late. The blessing had already been assigned to Jacob. This was the beginning of a longstanding feud between the brothers.
Another conspiracy that was a real humdinger followed soon after in Genesis 29:25. The plot was hatched between Leban and his daughter Leah. Jacob had worked for Leban for seven years in order to be able to marry his daughter Rachel, who Jacob was in love with. Rachel was a beautiful young woman, in contrast to her less attractive sister.
On the wedding night, after consuming much wine, Leah was substituted for Rachel without Jacob realizing it until the following morning. Genesis 29:20-25
Jacob had to work for Leban another seven years before he could marry Rachel.
The next well-known conspiracy in the book of Genesis, is when Joseph’s siblings conspired against him, threw him in a pit, and then told their father he had been attacked and killed by a wild beast.
They shredded Joseph’s coat to show the father proof of his death. Joseph was his father’s favourite. The coat they shredded had been a gift from his father, so the plot was against both Joseph and their father. The loss of his beloved son caused their father major grief. Genesis 37: 18-34:
As we can see, these famous conspiracies developed between siblings where there was competition, envy, scheming, and hatred toward a sibling, often stemming from parental favouritism. In all cases, the ramifications of these deep-rooted deceptions, went on for many years.
2 Kings 15:29-31 tells a story of conspiracies among kings:
John the Baptist was subjected to one of the most gruesome conspiracies, after he was imprisoned by King Herod. He was beheaded following a dance at Herod’s birthday party. It is described in Matthew 14:6-12:
Surely we can extrapolate from these examples that conspiracies are not new. Nor should we be mocked for being aware that human beings are prone to conspiring. It simply means plotting, scheming, collusion, trickery, subterfuge, ruse, smoke-screen, and so on.
Is it any wonder, the bible repeatedly warns us not to be deceived?
The final bit of biblical wisdom for these troubled times is found in Matthew 10:16:
16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
Going back to college days, and a house full of hippies – this is a true story about my roommates, and Rudy the crazy cat.
My third year in the nursing program in Calgary, I took out a student loan, and moved into a house with about eight others.
Before moving, my share of the apartment rental was sixty-five dollars a month. When I moved into the house, the rent dropped to thirty dollars a month. The house was full of laid back partying hippies, who did as little schoolwork as possible.
I would go to the hospital practicum, shoot some hoops, take a couple classes, and come home to find them all still sleeping. It was like they were in a different time zone. They jokingly made fun of me because I got up early and wore makeup.
One afternoon my roommates were already partying when I got home from school. One of the girls had a beloved cat named Rudy. I came in to find them all sitting on the floor in the kitchen in front of the oven laughing hysterically. They said, “Look! Rudy’s famous. He’s on T.V.”
They had put the cat in the oven without turning it on. The oven light was on, so they could see him in there, and pretend he was on television. They found it to be hilariously entertaining.
His owner Robin would habitually put food in her mouth, chew it up, and then stick her tongue out so Rudy could eat food off her tongue. It was kind of gross in a way.
I had nothing against cats, but this one was molded into the most outrageous pet I had ever seen. He was an acidic cat, a hippy, trippy, college cultured citified tomcat, compared to the feral kitties back on the farm. Robin’s mouth was his dish, and he seemed totally cool with that.
When they let him out of the oven though, he went completely psychotic. I asked roommate Tom if they had given Rudy a hit of acid. He said, “ I dunno, he’s acting like it”. Robin and the rest of us had moved into the living room to watch Rudy go berserk.
After racing around the room, then jumping straight up and clinging on the blinds, he leapt from the table to a bookshelf.
Then suddenly he stopped the manic movements, and sort of crouched on the top of the bookshelf. He had positioned himself above, and behind where Robin was laying on the floor talking and laughing.
He stared at Robin for a couple of seconds with bulging eyes. Then like a true hunter, he tensed up, and took a flying leap through the air, and landed right on her face, with all his claws out. He scratched her face, and bit her lip, and tongue.
For Robin, his feat was a sandbagger right out of the blue. He had never acted like that before. He was generally quite docile. Cat psychologists can only speculate (not that I am one) why Rudy did that? He loved Robin and vice versa.
After he jumped on her face, she stopped letting him eat chewed up food off her tongue. I don’t think they put him in the oven again either.
But even so, there were cat hairs in the oven for quite some time.
Another roommate cat story, was equally bizarre, but not funny. We were living in a small log cabin up north, working our first jobs in the local hospital, after we graduated.
The cabin was very old. It had a dark cellar with a wobbly wooden staircase, and a dirt floor. I never once went down there to even look around. We kept the door closed tight.
I came home from working a night shift, and noticed the door to the cellar was ajar. I heard a strange sort of gurgling sound. I was totally freaked out, wondering what was down there.
The door was slowly creaking open. I peered into the cellar, and looked to where the noise was coming from. On the top stair there was a mangy, half dead cat. It had a huge wound on its’ head and face. It looked infected, deformed, and absolutely grotesque. At first I was not even sure what kind of animal it was.
My first thought was that it had been down there the whole time, and took three months to crawl to the top of the stairs. It was kind of horrific, wondering what happened to it, and how it got in the cellar?
My roommate had days off, and had been out partying the night before. I called her, and excitedly told her this cat had been in the cellar. To my surprise she said, “I know, I put him there, until I can get a bed, and some antibiotics for him.”
I said, “What! You brought this half dead, infected cat home with you from the party?” She said she had found him on a trail to the outhouse. Apparently some guy had shot the cat in the face a week or so prior to her finding it.
I asked her what she was going to do with the cat, and told her it needed to be put out of its’ misery. There was no way it could get better. His jaw was shattered, so he could not eat at all. It was dripping with pus, and looked miserable.
We ended up having a big fight about the cat. Brenda was determined to nurse it back to health. She grew up in the city, and in my opinion, was not the least bit realistic.
The following day, she went to the hospital and brought home some supplies for the cat. She had a couple of syringes, antibiotics, and other paraphernalia to treat the cat. She got a box, lined it with an old blanket, and put the cat in it. When she tried to feed it, the milk would run out of the gaping hole in its jaw, along with dripping pus.
It got to the point, I told her, in all fairness, the cat had to be euthanized. She was not doing it any favours. She got really mad at me for being so callous, and cried, “You just don’t care about the poor cat.” I told her, “I am not the one who shot the cat in the face.” “Go blame the guy who shot him. Everyone knows who did it”.
After we had the big showdown, she finally agreed, the cat could not survive, and was dying slowly. It could not eat, see, or swallow, and was starving on top of everything else.
Once we made the decision, we did not know who to call. There was no vet in the town to properly euthanize it. So we called the RCMP.
A few minutes after we called, a young RCMP officer came and knocked on our door. Brenda was cradling the cat, and sobbing. She handed it to him, like it was a baby. The look on his face was priceless.
He did not want to take the cat, and get pus and mangled hair all over himself, and his car. So he gently said to her, “Can I have the box? “And umm err – would you mind putting him in the box for me?” She obliged, and put the cat in the box, before handing it to him a second time.
He was very professional about the odd request, and took it somewhere outside of town, to end its’ sad life. Sometimes the police or fire department get calls to rescue cats. But this one was the opposite.
After trying to feed it a few times with an eye dropper, and then a syringe, Brenda understood it could not survive the injury.
We got over the disagreement, and carried on. We never brought it up again. Thankfully.
Recently I became intrigued with the idea of growing mushrooms. Many varieties like Lion’s Mane, Shiitake, and Reishi have medicinal, in addition to culinary value.
Mushrooms can be dried and powdered for long term storage, and used in a variety of dishes. It all sounded good, until I started researching how to go about it.
As with most things, there are several methods. The easiest one for amateurs is to buy a grow kit, which costs around $40 including shipping. The substrate and inoculation of spores is already done. So all you have to do is follow the instructions keeping it moist, at a certain temperature, and with the right light conditions.
Some of the hard core homesteaders, and farmers use freshly cut oak, birch, maple, beech, alder and poplar logs. Apparently oak is the ideal choice. The trees are supposed to be used within two weeks after being cut down, so you cannot just use logs out of an old pile.
Once you gather the logs, and cut them to a uniform length for stacking, you have to use an angle grinder, or drill, to drill holes throughout the logs. The logs should be 3 to 8 inches in diameter, and 3-4 feet long. The holes are drilled 3-4 inches apart, and 1.5 inches deep.
After drilling the holes, if using sawdust mycelium, you use a special tool to plug the inoculated mixture into the holes. If you use dowels with the mycelium in them, they are tapped into the holes. The mixture, or spawn consists of the type of mushroom spore you want to grow, and is called fungal mycelium.
After that, you have to use a brush to apply melted soy wax, or beeswax to cover the holes, as well as any open areas on the logs where branches etc. were cut off. This is to protect the newly inserted fungi from contamination, pests, and from drying out.
Then the logs are stacked log cabin style in a humid, well ventilated shaded area, or with dappled sunlight, taking care to keep them up off the ground. In this method of growing, it takes nine months to a year before the mushrooms can be harvested. Some people pre treat by placing the logs under straw for a period of time.
I like the log method the best, even though it is not for the urban or patio gardener. Because it is closest to the natural environment, does not require plastic, and does not contaminate any indoor area with fungal spores.
The other methods designed for urban, and indoor gardeners involve the use of plastic buckets, plastic bottles, or plastic mushroom growing bags. In this case you use pasteurized straw as a substrate layer, and then put layers of inoculated spawn. If using buckets or bottles, you drill holes in the sides, and if using bags, you poke holes, or buy the special mushroom growing bags.
There are many steps, all of which require the use of 70% isopropyl alcohol to disinfect all the equipment, and surface areas. The straw also has to have boiling water poured over it, along with various other techniques to avoid contamination.
The inoculated mushroom growing containers require certain light, temperature, moisture and ventilation, in order to create the optimal conditions.
After reviewing a number of YouTube videos, I decided I would not attempt it indoors. From watching the online videos, there are multiple methods used, based on the experience of the grower. I did notice many discrepancies in the sanitation used.
None of the people wore gloves or masks. One of them tore the tape to cover the holes with his teeth, and overall it seemed to me that if contamination is a big concern, the mushrooms would be contaminated, from air borne microbes, to shedding of skin cells and bacteria.
When you think about it, we seldom aim for a sterlile environment during basic food prep. We aim for a clean environment, clean utensils, and clean hands. We do not repeatedly spray our utensils with alcohol. The only time we aim for a sterile environment is with canning jars, and preparing infant baby food.
In comparison to the outdoor log method, the indoor methods required a lot of misting, fans, and sterilization, which to me is kind of intimidating.
However the overall reason, I decided not to bother, is because the humidity required can lead to mold. But even more so, the release of fungal spores into the indoor air we breathe can trigger respiratory issues for some people. I also learned that fungal spores can live a very long time in the atmosphere, like decades.
Another reason I gave up on the idea, is because if you Google what the regulations are for commercial mushroom growers, you soon find out, they are stringent. Canada, and in particular BC where I live, has many commercial mushroom growers.
In fact, Canada exports around 65 million kg. of button mushrooms to the US each year. The value of the export is well over 300 million dollars. We are listed as number eight in the world for producing, and exporting mushrooms, with Ontario and BC being the top Canadian growers.
Almost all commercially grown mushrooms are grown in carefully controlled indoor environments. Health Canada, Agriculture and Farm Practices, The Mushroom Act, Organic Certification, and many other levels of government help regulate the mushroom crops.
After doing some research, I think I will leave it to the experts, and watch for sales in the grocery stores. It has been worthwhile learning more about how and where mushrooms are grown. I will be much more vigilant, with regards to finding locally grown Canadian mushrooms.
Growing mushrooms does look like a fun, and educational growing project, for those who live on farms, or have large yards, and well ventilated spaces.
But for me, I’ll stick to growing flowers, herbs, kale, lettuce, chard, radishes etc. in raised beds outside.
Gardening involves a never ending learning curve with lots of trial and error. This year, I decided to start saving seeds. Many seeds are very tiny, but it does not take long with flower seeds, to figure out how to separate and save the seeds.
How many times do you buy a package of seeds for $3-4 and open it to see a minuscule number of seeds at the bottom of the package? I don’t begrudge anyone who makes an industry of seed selling, because the packaging itself would be more costly than the seeds.
It is rewarding to grow plants from seeds. This year, instead of buying annual petunia plants, I started them from seed. It took quite awhile for them to germinate, and initially I thought I had killed them by putting them outside too early.
But eventually they started to flower, and within a few weeks became prolific bloomers. They turned out to be the most beautiful petunias I have grown so far. They are still in full bloom now in late August, with colours ranging from blush pink, to red, white, purple, and darker shades of pink. There are also many bi-coloured blooms, some with contrasting halos called picotee.
If I can, I will be plucking some of those picotee spent blooms at the end of the season, to see if I can save the seeds for next year. I can see why people seek out certain kinds of seeds, from hardy heirloom vegetable seeds, to colourful flowers. Even more so, to find a beautiful mix, and keep it going.
This year has also been been a good year for Cosmos, with endless blooms and colours, swaying in the breeze. They have grown to be over six feet tall.
One of the best things I learned this year, is how to deter the invasive, plant strangling morning glory, or bindweed, that has been coming over the fence from the adjacent lot.
I spent hours pulling it out after it infested and destroyed the pea patch. Then just by chance, planted some tall marigold along the fence, and noticed the bindweed did not touch it.
I have since learned that a certain tall variety of Mexican marigold, also known as Stinking Roger, is an excellent bindweed deterrent. If plants could declare war, Stinking Roger would be pulling out a couple of pistols, not pistils.
I wish I would have known about Stinking Roger years ago, since bindweed is a problem almost everywhere in BC. It is a battle that just keeps on coming.
After planting a row of Mexican marigold along the fence, not one single marigold plant was even touched by the bindweed. I found that to be quite interesting, because bindweed will take over so many plants, and trees.
The marigolds minimized the bindweed effect on the raised bed by at least 80% so other plants like tomatoes and cucumbers could thrive.
Years ago, without knowing better, I tried various herbicides on bindweed, without much luck. This year, I did spray it a few times with a solution of vinegar and salt. It does kill it, but you have to be very careful not to get vinegar on other plants, or on the soil.
However, in my experience vinegar, and other herbicides did not really work for long, because bindweed just needs a few living rhizomes, and it keeps growing. It is like the marigold became the more dominant plant, with a smell, or something that works better than herbicides.
There are over fifty varieties of marigold. Many of the familiar annuals are just 6-10 inches tall. The generic name for Mexican marigold is Tagetes minuta. It grows between 2-6 feet tall, with the ones I planted this year reaching about 4-5 feet tall. A lot of the bindweed was coming over top the fence, so the fact the marigolds reached almost to the top of the fence, really helped.
The Mexican marigold has been around since the pre-Columbian era. It has several names, and a variety of uses throughout South America. In addition to being called Stinking Roger, it is also known as wild marigold, Huacatay, and Master John Henry. As a bonus you can dry the flowers to add to medicinal teas.
Mexican marigold is just the kind of wild west plant soldier we needed, to protect our garden borders from bindweed! I will definitely be saving some of those seeds…
Although opinions vary on the topic of its benefits, compared to its destructive elements – social media is not going away. Some people hate and mistrust the entire genre, while others embrace it as a way to be seen, or heard, or to monetize, and garner fleeting fame.
The fame associated with social media seems to be short lived, but regardless many people have risked their lives for likes on social media. The selfie craze can be a selfish craving.
To outline some of the positives just as a matter of personal opinion, I think social media does have some benefits. It can help increase the voice of the ordinary person, from a democratic perspective in political commentary.
It can help people who are isolated, or disabled to stay in touch with, and have connection to the outside world.
It can also facilitate communication, gatherings, reunions, and family sharing, thus bridging long distances between people. It helps people to follow the activities, and growth of loved ones, as well as topics they are interested in.
It is good for hobbyists, gardeners, sports, photographers, campers, hikers, collectors, fishing, car enthusiasts, nature lovers, and a variety of niche interests, who are seeking like-minded people.
There are forums that help with learning, with technical skills, and sharing stories that could benefit others. The information or support groups that stem from some of the social media channels can help people to find common ground, and help with mental health, or healing.
It delivers a wide variety of opinions, and ideas on multiple topics. It also shows things we would not know about otherwise. Some people capture amazing pictures of storm clouds, animals, sports, and other unusual sightings or events, which they share on social media.
Without videos or cameras, social media would not be as vast as it is. Therefore, the widespread use of cell phones, cameras, audio, and basically surveillance, has both positive and negative impacts. People now have doorbell cameras that have picked up crime as it happens.
Many crimes have been solved as a result of social media. The body of Gabby Petito may never have been found if it had not been for another traveller, and content creator who happened to drive past Gabby’s van on a remote dirt road. She recognized the van from Gabby’s social media posts, and as it turned out, her body was buried just feet away from where that video was taken. In fact, it appeared they may have inadvertently driven past, when her fiance was in the process of burying her body.
When people have loved ones go missing, so much of the agony is in not knowing what happened to them, or where their body is. Without a body, it is much more difficult to prosecute the crime of murder.
Cameras have helped solve many crimes, and if the imagery is clear, it provides solid evidence for the trial. Jurors like all people, have different learning styles. Some of us are impacted more by what we hear, while others have better retention based on what they see. Therefore, visual evidence is very important when it comes to getting justice for victims, and their families.
In the case of Brian Kohberger, there were true crime sleuths who had him, and his car pinpointed long before he was caught. They also dug up many of his online aliases within days of the murders.
In the case of the Australian mushroom murders, Erin Patterson’s former FB posts cussing out her relatives was used as evidence in the trial. She had adamantly claimed how much she loved her in-laws, yet the social media posts told a very different story.
In addition, even though she tampered with evidence, and reset her cell phones, the police were able to pick up footage of her disposing of the food dehydrator she had used to dehydrate death cap mushrooms. Once it was retrieved, they were able to analyze it, and find the death cap mushroom spores inside.
From there, the police were able to track her movements. She visited social media pages that posted sightings of death cap mushrooms, giving the exact locations where death cap mushrooms were growing.
The police used those sightings to track her cell phone data, in order to prove she physically went to those locations. They also tracked her Internet searches, seeking specifics on the lethal dosages required. She also looked for recipes on social media, specifically ones with mushrooms as a main ingredient. Without social media, she may not have been convicted beyond a reasonable doubt.
In spite of how intelligent she believed she was, she left a detailed bread crumb trail leading to her own conviction.
On a brighter note, social media allows us to see parades, concerts, livestreams, and various other events we do not attend personally. It also shows protests, and can help determine how they are organized and managed, as well as if there is any vandalism or violence during the protest.
On the negative side, it seems to have increased vanity and narcissism. There are hundreds of cases where social media influencers have died trying to get the perfect selfie. Everything from dangling off cliffs, to various stunts, to standing next to wild animals, and even grabbing live wires above a train.
Although a high percentage of social media selfies do not end in death, it seems to detract from their mental health. Trying to create an image of perfection, is futile. It wears people down.
In one recent case, a young 16 year old girl who had become obsessed with her own image, and social media posts, ended up shooting her mother and stepfather. She seemed to think she could increase her fame, and number of views by pretending to be the victim of a crime. It was like she was acting out her own movie script as an Academy award winning actress.
Vanity is a pervasive part of human nature, and has been since the beginning of time. The book of Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament outlines all that is vanity in beautiful and poetic language. It is also known as The Preacher, and although it has been attributed to King Solomon, it is not clear who it was written by. It is believed to have been written between the 5th and 3rd century BCE.
As far as the authorship is concerned the very first line tells us in 1:1 and the next few lines tell us “all is vanity”.
In 1959 Pete Seeger wrote the song Turn! Turn! Turn! based on Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. It became wildly popular in 1965 when the Byrds released their version of the song. Pete Seeger chose verses that reflect the nature of time, and the cyclical seasons of life.
Probably one of the worst and most prevalent aspects of social media, is the deception. People can pretend to be someone else. They can steal the identities and photographs belonging to other people, and use it to pose as romance scammers, or to lure investors into a con.
Images can be photoshopped to make it appear they are in a different location. They can photoshop bank statements, passports, driver’s licenses, logos, cheques, and whatever else you can think of.
With the rise and sophistication of AI and Chat GPT, the deception only gets more convoluted and difficult to detect.
However, just as it says in the book of Ecclesiastes, vanity is vanity. There is nothing new about it. The same goes for deception. It too, goes back to the beginning of time.
I think the essence of what social media is inadvertently telling us – is that nothing is hidden. The kiss-cam exposure of the CEO, and HR director’s affair during a Coldplay concert is an example of how people can be exposed in a matter of seconds.
For those who are Christians, we know from many verses in the bible, that nothing is hidden from God. Truth will always rise to the surface, one way or another. God is light, and light shines on darkness. God sees and knows everything.
Many of us are familiar with the ancient story of Narcissus dying while staring at his own reflection in a pond. The origin of this fable is from Ovid and Pausanias. Both were ancient world writers, but with a different background and focus.
Ovid was a Roman poet known for works with a focus on love and transformation. His most famous work was Metamorphoses.
Pausanias on the other hand, leaned more toward non-fiction, and gave a detailed account of ancient Greece. He wrote travel guides in ten books, describing the art, culture, architecture, religious practices, mythology, history, landscape, and topography of Greece.
In both versions of Narcissus, the storyline is that he became so enamoured with his own reflection in the water, he neglected to take care of himself. He was so besotted with his own image, he had no concern, or awareness of anything around him. He was unable to eat or sleep. He took his final dying breath, while staring longingly at his own reflection in the water.
Doesn’t this ancient story have some correlation with what happens to people who become so infatuated with their own image, that they die in the pursuit of perfecting themselves? The perfect image. The perfect face. The perfect body. And finally, the ultimate capture of those elements in action.
Beauty and perfection seems within reach, especially in our youth. Then there is the quest to hold onto youth, without ever showing signs of aging. It is a senseless struggle.
The illusion is reinforced, because the image of near perfection (combined with cognitive bias) is reflected back at people – yet it is intangible. Perfection is not achievable. Just look at the people who get one plastic surgery after another. It gets worse, not better.
Going back to what it says in the bible, we would be wise to be humble. In fact repentance humbles us because it shows us our faults, and we feel genuine remorse, as well as the desire to change. Humility puts us on the path to redemption, as opposed to the godless, and all encompassing love of our own image or reflection in a mirror, or a pond, or a camera. Vanity is nothing new in spite of social media.
The benefits of humility over vanity are written about extensively throughout the bible. Some examples:
In conclusion, it seems pretty clear – we are inclined toward vanity for personal gain, but paradoxically our own vanity can harm us.
Sometimes people who are gifted in looks or intellect, are mercilessly bullied, or exploited by wolves in sheep’s clothing.
It seems to be most unfair when people are persecuted for what should be a benefit, not a curse. This is an especially immoral type of attack, because the target cannot help being who they are. Nor is it their fault, if they happened to be born with certain gifts. It’s like kicking the dog because it is not a cat. Or perhaps, because it is better looking, or smarter than your dog. There is no shortage of abuse in this world.
Another drawback facing social media influencers is that they are open targets for criticism, and online abuse. It is often because of the jealousy of other people. Once the social media influencers put themselves out there, in addition to the likes, subscribers, adoration and fame, they also face the flip side of that kind of attention, and get negativity, and insults as well. It creates a world of polarizations that would be difficult to navigate for most people.
For those who are sensitive, or unable to separate their authentic self, from a well-crafted public persona, they are very susceptible to mental health issues. Being an influencer often has a damaging effect on self-esteem. Tragically, a significant percentage of influencers die by suicide.
Another often overlooked ethical grey zone of social media, is when people film and monetize children’s lives, when they are too young to give consent. It is one thing to show family photos, weddings etc. But it becomes questionable, when every facet of a child’s daily life is posted online. In the future, the child might resent the invasion of privacy, or feel like they were exploited.
In addition, all people should be mindful of the fact there are many online child sexual predators. Even though photos or videos posted are not intended to be the focus of online predators, parents have to be very careful, when it comes to protecting their children.
It is also worthy of consideration to question how much a child might be affected by constantly being photographed, or portrayed as being cute and adorable. Most of them are cute and adorable, but they are still autonomous, and unique human beings, who are going through multiple developmental stages.
Some people go so far as to take pictures of children having falls or accidents, as if it is hilariously funny. There was a joke circulating on Tik Tok for awhile, where the parent would crack an egg on a child’s head. In fact, there are many copycat type stunts that circulate online. Some of them are borderline assaultive, like cracking an egg on a child’s head. In every case I watched of adults using the egg cracking joke, the child looked very shocked, unhappy, and offended. That means it is not funny.
Other social media stunts are downright dangerous. Everything from eating contests, to planing, to sucking boiling water through a straw, have led to tragic deaths.
We can see how things are easily taken too far. People will also film pit bulls licking newborns, and all kinds of pet related, close encounters with very small children. Not every pet can be trusted with an infant. Infants, and young children should never be used in risk taking encounters of any kind, for social media.
Another fairly innocent social media trend occurred recently, showing pregnant women who were full term, dancing prior to going into labour. If the mom is healthy and feels like dancing, good for her. Social media has millions of dancing videos of all kinds, so why not?
However this craze was soon tainted by an attention seeking, pretend pregnant dancer. Meghan Markle gravitated toward this trend, and did a fake version of the pregnancy dance, with what looked like a pillow under her dress.
One thing most moms, as well as LDR nurses, midwives, and doctors know – is that the full term uterus does not move like a pillow. Therefore, the deceptive aspect of Meghan Markle’s pregnant dance, became another faux pas. She seems to be the queen of gaucherie.
All of the social media platforms love click bait, therefore when it comes to certain practices, anything goes. Personally, I think there should be a set of ethical guidelines surrounding the filming, and posting of vulnerable people online, who are unable to give consent.
Some people are posting the care of, along with the everyday life and struggles, of a family member with dementia. Some of the posts are very personal. Some are comical. Others are rather ambiguous.
One person may view such exposure as being poignant and touching. Another may see it as being educational. And someone else may view it as being a violation of confidentiality surrounding health matters. Others may think it is blatantly exploitive.
But the big question is – how does it affect the person who is being filmed? Does it align with their values, or any discussions they may have had about it when they had better cognition? After all, the person is being filmed, often in embarrassing circumstances, without realizing it.
Nor are they aware of the number of viewers, how widespread it is, or the reasons for it. Maybe they do not want to be seen by the outside world, let alone filmed in such a state. Maybe they have an ex, or certain people who they do not want to share any part of their life with. Maintaining dignity while aging, especially for those going through dementia, is very important to most people.
We have to keep in mind that the average person who is over 70 years old, was not raised with social media, or the Internet. They may not have even considered there was a potential for being filmed throughout phases of dementia. It is something most people don’t even have a conversation about, while they are still making their own decisions.
Similar to children being the focus of certain social media channels, I have often wondered about the filming of people with dementia, in order to show the journey, or the challenges associated with their care. Once again, the person is not in a position to consent. They are vulnerable, and could be subjected to mockery, or the sympathy from strangers who they do not know, or wish to know. Therefore it stands to reason the person with dementia does not want to open up their lives, and personal struggles to online strangers.
We can only speak for ourselves on what we would or would not want, and I can say for sure that I would not want to be filmed in every day life at any stage of my life. Not because I have anything to hide, but because I really value, and want to protect my privacy.
If social media is used in moderation for communication, mutual interests, education, or for entertainment, it can be a good thing. But if it is used for deception, vanity, or the exploitation of vulnerable people, it can be destructive.
Finally, to point out a minor social media irritant, is when content creators drag out the most simplistic information as long as possible. For example, they might have a title like “Five Foods You Should Never Eat Before Going To Bed” or “Ten Mistakes Gardener’s Make Planting Potatoes”
Isn’t it annoying when they use long-winded fillers before they actually tell you anything? Wordy, bloated, whitewashed stuffing, padding a very simple message, to make it as long and drawn out as possible.
Obviously they are trying to stretch a one minute video into fifteen minutes. They should concentrate on more informative content, not just beating around the potato bush, until you lose interest.
Knowledge is increasing at an accelerated rate, with some suggesting it doubles every twelve hours, in this modern era. Therefore, I think some of those content creators – should be a little quicker to get to the point.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Note: The Language of the Flowers was first published in 1819, and popularized during the Victorian era. I do not associate any flowers with hidden occult meanings. Just whimsy in poetry and comparisons, colour and intrigue.
We take so much for granted, without realizing we might be eating, or breathing in what is referred to as “forever chemicals”. Most of these chemicals cannot even be pronounced. They are known to cause cancer, and are endocrine disruptors. These endocrine disruptors can mimic, and replace the natural hormones in our body leading to all kinds of health issues.
In previous posts I wrote about getting rid of, or reducing microplastics, and non-stick frying pans. Teflon, especially once the surface is damaged, will leach chemicals into your food. As soon as the pan becomes scratched or damaged, it must be discarded. This is not only expensive, but it is also adding to pollution of the environment.
If you replace those pans with stainless steel, or cast iron, you will have frying pans that don’t get scratched or damaged with regular use, and most of all will not permeate your food with toxic chemicals. Stainless steel comes in different grades or thicknesses. A good stainless steel pan will not warp, and will last decades. A good cast iron pan will outlive the original owner, and could last several generations.
Next is getting rid of plastic storage containers as much as possible, and switching to borosilicate glass containers. This type of glass is resistant to thermal shock, can withstand heat, and can also be put into the freezer. Often the lids on the glass containers are made of plastic, but if you don’t overfill them, the food will not be touching the lid. You can also use wide mouth mason jars. They withstand both heat, and the freezer as well. They don’t stack as well as the uniform sized square borosilicate glass containers do.
Plastic cutting boards not only put microplastics into your food, but the grooves from the knife cuts, collect bacteria. I use wood, keeping a separate cutting board for meat. I clean it using a brush, and hot soapy water with a bit of bleach, and then apply mineral oil. The board should be washed immediately after use, or at least rinsed with hot soapy water.
Some people opt for granite cutting boards, but in my opinion, granite or any type of rock, is too hard on good knives. Bamboo will also damage knives because it is a hard wood, and also contains silica. The best wood for cutting boards is maple, walnut or cherry wood.
In hindsight, I wish I would have paid more attention to the toxic household items a long time ago. But it is never too late to start eliminating these things.
Once you get your kitchen under control, there are many other things to avoid. Dryer sheets, and air fresheners are toxic. Both contain chemicals that you breathe in. Dryer sheets add those chemicals to your clothes, bedding and towels, so when those items are up close to your body, you are absorbing or breathing in those chemicals. Fabric softener is in the same genre, adding chemicals and fragrance to your clothes, and perhaps worst of all, your pillowcases, which are right next to your face all night long.
The same goes for air fresheners that mask the smell of things like kitty litter and garbage. However, instead of a raunchy smell, you are breathing in toxic fragrant chemicals.
Try using a smaller garbage container, and take the garbage out more often. If you have a compost bin and garden, it reduces the amount of garbage to a fraction of what it is otherwise. Natural air fresheners are baking soda, lavender and essential oils. You can also buy activated charcoal pads to put at the bottom of your garbage container to absorb odours.
Don’t forget about tea bags. The bags themselves contain chemicals. Unfortunately when heat or boiling water is applied to something that has chemicals or microplastics, it will increase the likelihood of releasing them into what you are ingesting.
For tea drinkers, it is not easy to find loose leaf teas unless you live in a city with a good tea shop. You can order loose leaf teas online, which gives you the advantage of making your own tea blends.
Cleaning sprays, and antibacterial soaps are also toxic. Similar to pesticides, they don’t actually kill all bacteria or weeds, but just enough to make the bacteria or weed resistant, and more pervasive.
It is better to use mild soap, and water thus washing away most of the bacteria. For gardening, there are many natural sprays that deter bugs. I use a mix of calendula, citronella, neem oil, and a small amount of Castile soap. Recently I made a tea with food grade lavender buds, and added it to the mixture. It creates a pleasant non toxic smell when you are spraying the garden, and is also a cat deterrent, because they do not like the smell. Recently, I used it to chase away a squirrel who was descending on the community garden. He did not seem to like the smell of it either.
To battle noxious or invasive weeds like morning glory, a mixture of vinegar and salt, will keep it at bay. You have to be careful not to get it on any other plants, or into the soil. But it does reduce the invasiveness, and help with weed control.
Add scented candles to the list of toxic inhalation fumes, and opt for quality essential oils if you want to add aromas to your environment.
One of the worst, is microwave popcorn. The popcorn is inside a plastic lined bag for a dose of microplastics, and has a fake flavoured chemical laced pseudo butter. All those chemicals are heated up to give a blast of tasty toxins.
In fact the smell of microwave popcorn is so pervasive that many hospitals banned the use of it as a staff snack on night shift. It permeated throughout the entire building, and people complained about it, even if they were in a room twenty or thirty feet away. The smell was so strong you could smell it the minute you walked onto the ward, and throughout the entire ward.
Popcorn is not unhealthy if it is made in a hot air popper, or on the stove top, using real butter, instead of flavoured fake butter. The problem with the hot air poppers, is that the top portion is made of plastic. Therefore the overall best way to make popcorn is the old fashioned way, on the stove top. You can get a stainless steel pot, called a Whirley Pop with a mechanism that lets you stir the popcorn, instead of having to shake it. For those with gas burners, or ceramic stove tops, you can’t shake popcorn on the stove top.
The Whirley Pop is a large pot used only for popcorn, so it is not practical in terms of the space it takes, unless you use it often. It’s too bad they don’t make a stainless steel hot air popper. I think it is unlikely that microplastic from a hard plastic cover on a hot air popper would get into the popcorn. After all, the popcorn is not heated in the plastic, and only comes in contact with it for a few seconds. The key is to buy a popper that is good quality, and heat the butter in a separate metal container on the stove.
Another one I just recently learned about is plastic shower curtains. To be honest, it never even crossed my mind that a plastic shower curtain could be harmful. I mean, it’s not like you wrap yourself up in the shower curtain. Any water that hits it would run down the drain, not bounce all over the place hitting you with shower curtain chemicals. We could get carried away!
However, I have read the better options are to use hemp, linen, or shower curtains with the OEKO-TEX label, which is supposedly free of harmful chemicals. With a name like that, somehow I doubt it. I fail to see how hemp or linen would keep from getting soaked, and soaking the floor, unless it has a plastic liner. I suppose the ideal thing is to have glass shower doors.
But then again, you would be surprised at how many people have had serious injuries, or even death associated with falls inside showers with glass doors.
So, it’s a toss up. If you don’t have glass doors, just be sure you don’t bury your head in the plastic shower curtain. If you do have glass doors, maybe put up a grab bar, and hold onto it while you take a shower! Either way, sing – but don’t dance in the shower. You could stir up those chemicals, or fall and cut yourself.
One thing to be aware of is that companies will claim something is BPA free, but it may simply mean the chemical structure has been altered somewhat, so it changes the chemical name. It might be BPA free, but still have a list of chemicals you cannot pronounce.
It is wise to evaluate all cleaning products in your cupboard, and how they are being used. Does your bathtub or toilet really need something so strong it gives you a headache? We also have to keep in mind that all those cleaning products are getting washed down the drain.
It might be better to pour the cleaner onto a sponge, as opposed to spraying it. If using a spray, make sure the area is well ventilated.
Often we can clean things like windows, floors, bath tubs etc. with just hot water and some dish detergent, or Castile soap. We don’t really need all those chemicals, unless there is mold or tough stains. It is better to clean more frequently, with a mild solution, than to wait, and go with the nuclear option.
Castile soap works for all kinds of cleaning, and is probably the least toxic soap you can find. It is also good for washing pesticides off fresh produce, or for soaking fresh picked blackberries, before rinsing and freezing. You can use it for laundry, in the garden, and just about anything.
We also use a wide range of cosmetics, shampoos, lotions, sunscreens, mosquito repellants. moisturizers etc. that might be toxic. We tend to think of the liver as being the largest organ, but the skin is actually the largest organ in the body. Everything that goes onto the skin, gets absorbed into the body.
Just like the air we breathe enters our body, whatever we put on our skin also enters our body. When it comes to cosmetics, expensive is not always better. Some of the most expensive brands are loaded with chemicals. You can find lists online that give you the chemical content of most cosmetic brands.
It is a good idea to put a magnifying glass in your bag for when you go shopping. You cannot really trust the label as you see it in large print. It is the fine print that lets you know if there is a list of chemicals, sulphites, MSG, and various neurotoxins.
When you start reading the labels, you will notice that you can find yogurt, olives, sauerkraut etc. without the chemicals. Yet the bottle sitting beside it, does have chemicals. Without reading the labels, you would never know which one has the least chemicals, or sometimes none at all.
We cannot eliminate all the toxins, but we can reduce them. We can also look at ways to improve ventilation when cleaning, and find more natural alternatives. The more water we drink, the more we can help to flush out toxins before they become established.
The human body is amazingly resilient. Being aware of toxins, so that we reduce or cut down on them should not cause us anxiety. If so, we could easily become paranoid, which can be just as toxic to our health, but in a different way.
Most toxins are insidious. They might contribute to fatigue, auto-immune disorders, respiratory disorders and infections, brain fog, and various other health problems with unknown causes.
As with most things, it helps to trust our intuition, and senses. If it smells strong, either with a chemical smell or a heavy fragrance, it is probably not good. If it makes us cough, or our eyes water, leave the room, or open a window.
All people are spiritual beings. We consist of body, soul, and spirit. The breath of life from God, is what gives us a spirit, and is what returns to God when we die.
For those who believe in, and accept Jesus Christ as Saviour, we are given the gift of the Holy Spirit. We are helped, comforted, and assured of salvation, as we traverse the often difficult journey of life.
The greatest, and central hope for all Christians is not that of a secret rapture, but rather, it is the promise of resurrection to eternal life when Christ returns. It is the greatest gift of all, and is not something we can earn. It comes from a sincere belief in Jesus, and repentance of sins.
When the resurrection happens, we will be given new bodies. It is hard for us to imagine having a body without pain, without feeling dragged down physically, and emotionally, without sickness, and without the concept of impending death.
In addition to the resurrected healthy body, we will be given a safe, and beautiful place to live. We will eat fruit from the tree of life, and drink living water. We cannot begin to grasp what God has in store for those of us who love, and place their trust in Him.
Although we still live in the flesh, and cannot be totally free of sin, there is a difference, a renewal, a change of heart, a thirst for God’s word, a sanctification, and a cleansing. Our Spirit begins to show the fruits of the Spirit.
We learn patience and self-control. We love, even if those we love do not love us in return. We begin to understand the power of forgiveness. We have faith that Christ will get us through our darkest moments, right up to when we die, and take our last breath.
God is Spirit. We must have His Spirit in order to know him.
In addition to God’s Spirit, we also know there are evil spirits. Christ immediately recognized evil spirits in people, and frequently cast out demons. Mary Magdalene was afflicted with seven demonic spirits. Once she was healed, she became a devout follower of Christ. She was the first person to see Christ after he arose from the tomb.
Luke 8:2 And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils,
Mark 16: 9 Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.
Another very graphic example is that of the frightening, crazy men who hung around the tombs. They were violent and tormented, to the extent no one could go near them, or pass by.
It seems clear that we all have a spirit, and without the Holy Spirit, there is a risk of having several tormenting spirits.
In this modern era, we tend to think of all anguish, and torment, as stemming from mental health issues. We cannot assume that all mental health issues are based on evil spirits. Nor should we assume that evil spirits do not exist.
Personally I don’t think anyone should attempt to cast out evil spirits, or engage in exorcisms, or even make the judgment to claim someone is possessed.
I think we should leave it to prayer, and encourage the person to read the bible, accept Jesus, and place their trust in Him. With the acceptance of Christ, there is a renewal of the mind. There is a promise of forgiveness, and sanctification.
People are far too prone to error, and the very people who are setting up an exorcism might be more off-base than the person they are targeting. This kind of thing opens too many doors for cult-like practices.
Some people call themselves prophets and Apostles, and believe they are ordained to cast out evil spirits. I personally believe the Apostles and prophets were those specifically chosen by God to preach the gospel, and write the bible. I do not believe we have Apostles in this era. People can have the gift of prophecy, but must be very careful, and be sure it is from God, or they risk being a false prophet.
I do believe Christians should pray for healing, and for others to be healed. I believe the Holy Spirit guides us in a gentle, loving manner. The key verses telling us about God’s Spirit, and the Holy Spirit:
Genesis 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
Psalm 150:6 Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.
As Christians we struggle with sin, and are called upon to repent. Prior to believing, and being sanctified, we did, and thought many awful things. We have no piety, or deity outside of the grace of God.
The bible tells us to love one another, to love our brother, to forgive, and to love our neighbour. To love our neighbour is the second greatest commandment.
Recently in the news, there is a tragic story about a neighbourhood dispute in Maple Ridge, which is a city of about 100,000 people, an hour and a half outside of Vancouver.
There had been a longstanding dispute between neighbours over parking, and a dog. Police were called in the late pm, but did not make any arrests. Later that evening, the disgruntled neighbour went and smashed in the door of his neighbours, and shot the couple and their dog.
Two cars were started on fire, and then the man went back to his own house and killed himself.
The traumatized neighbours could hardly believe it. The murdered couple were well liked, pleasant, and active in the community. The murderer was also well liked, although he was not as outgoing.
This is an example of what can happen to ordinary people, if they harbour animosity toward a neighbour. Most of us know that 99% of people who are murdered, are killed by someone they know.
For those who watch or follow true crime, next to intimate partner violence, with the exception of gangs, and drugs – people are most likely to be killed by a neighbour.
When we live in close proximity to people, we are forced to see them, listen to them, and put up with annoying behaviours.
Sometimes the annoyances are serious violations. If someone gets heavy duty equipment to cut into a hillside, without getting the proper geotechnical studies, it can destabilize all the surrounding homes, to the point where those properties have zero value, due to landslide risks.
If a neighbour speeds through a quiet street where young children are playing, it can endanger their lives.
If someone is screaming, cursing, and making threats, it can escalate to violence. It is difficult to avoid a problem neighbour.
Some people are very particular. If you walk on their grass, they might get very angry. Apparently part of the problem with the neighbours in Maple Ridge, was that they would walk their dog on a long leash. When they walked past the neighbour, the dog would veer onto his property.
For the majority of people, they would probably ignore it. Or they might talk to the neighbour, and ask them to keep the dog off their property.
If it kept happening, in spite of the fact the neighbour got angered because of it, each time they walked their dog, there would be a cumulative rage. If the man was a quiet, withdrawn person, he might have bottled up the rage, making a minor annoyance into a simmering volcano, waiting to erupt.
Often it is not a single incident that leads to explosive violence, but rather a series of events. If taken one at a time, it would not seem significant.
This is why the police do not see the whole saga, and how it is unfolding. With each call, they only see a snippet of the events leading up to the grand finale. In fact, like the rest of the people in the neighbourhood, the police had no way of knowing there would be a final murderous showdown.
If the perpetrator had told the police what he was planning to do, and if they knew he had a gun, they would have taken him into custody. Who knows what he said to the police, but whatever it was, he did not tip them off to his state of mind, or his plans. From the time they were called out earlier that day, until he committed the murders, was only a few hours.
Similar to domestic disputes, neighbourhood conflicts are very difficult for the police to sort out. After all, they don’t know the people, and it all seems quite petty, until it becomes violent.
God has told us to love one another, because He knows we will be put in some very trying circumstances.
Surely a person who would do such a thing, had many other unseen problems. His spiritual life was one of torment. We never truly know what another person is going through.
Why couldn’t he simply move?
No matter how angry we become, or how unjust something seems to be, we have to forgive, for our own sake, as well as for those around us.
The Spirit of God gives us the capacity to forgive, and to love, even if we ourselves do not have the capacity to handle it well. God will loosen those binds of indignation, and anger, and set us free.
Nothing can buy peace of mind. One man’s rage destroyed the lives of his neighbours, as well as himself, leaving grieving families, and a stunned community.
If anything, it should be a cautionary tale, when it comes to disputes that are ongoing, and escalating. A long leash, and a wandering dog, or disputes over parking spots, are not worth losing lives over. It is not a war zone. It is a lovely looking neighbourhood with beautiful homes.
People will always say the person should have got help. Clearly he was unhinged, and suffering a breakdown. The problem is, when people hold onto grievances, one after another, they don’t tend to see it as their problem. They believe the annoyances must stop, before they can get peace. They internalize long before they externalize the seething fury.
We will never know what went on in this man’s mind. But it was enough for what appeared to be a sane person to do the unthinkable. He also shot the dog, which tells us he saw the dog as being part of the problem.
The fact he broke into a neighbour’s home late at night, and shot two people, and their dog – means he was not acting in self defence in any way, shape or form.
The fact he went home after that and shot himself means he was prepared to sacrifice his own life, in order to exact vengeance on his neighbours.
In addition to being told the second commandment is to love our neighbours, the sixth commandment is “thou shalt not murder”.
The spirit of rage, and hatred burned within this man, for many known, and even more unknown reasons. There will be no trial, because he is now dead.
But he will face Christ on judgement day. Hebrews 9:27:
The tragedy is multi-dimensional. The murderer has no more chances for repentance and healing. When the time comes, he must face judgement for what he did.
It is of the utmost importance to know what Spirit dwells within us, and governs our lives. The Spirit of God is a loving, healing Spirit without any darkness at all. Only the Holy Spirit can set us free from all that plagues us.
God’s word advises us, and warns us about spiritual wickedness, and how to protect ourselves.
Every single day, we would be wise to put on the whole armour of God. We do not know what kind of rage might be smouldering in our midst.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Astronomer CEO’s eye catching kiss cam just launched him, and his errant HR sweetheart into a predicament beyond their wildest dreams.
It was so obvious, even the Coldplay lead vocalist pointed out that the couple was either having an affair, or very shy. It is amazing how the body language in a ten second clip (slip) can tell all. Chris Martin nailed it. Coldplay inadvertently turned up the heat.
You have to wonder if the couple’s reaction was the worst thing they could possibly do. They might blame Chris Martin, or the camera person, but they incriminated themselves. First the look of surprised shock, followed by her turning away and covering her face, and even more so, his rather low-grade attempt at a disappearing act.
Most incredibly, when he ducked down to hide, he was actually trying to shield himself behind transparent glass. The entire blunder carries so many metaphorical fragments, it is like the quills of a porcupine letting loose a thousand barbs, at the optimal moment.
One minute they are locked in a loving embrace, all besotted and starry eyed. Seconds later, his handsome virility was liquefied, in a feeble attempt to blot himself out of the scene. If there had been a crack in the floor he could have slithered through, he would have been long gone.
What does all the body language tell us about the CEO running an up-and-coming billion dollar tech company that is reported to have reached “unicorn status” in 2022? Unicorns are other worldly one-horned creatures. They are the stuff of myths, legends and fables.
Andy Byron’s reaction, in my opinion, was the worst thing he could have done. If they could have suffered through it, and done nothing at all, it would not have been so catastrophic. Caught, yes, but he showed his true colours, in a way he can never take back.
Not only was he betraying the trust of his wife, and family, he was betraying the trust of the company, employees, and investors, with a deceptive double standard.
Worse yet, he demonstrated he had loyalty to no one but himself. By dropping down, and hiding in plain sight, he made it very clear that he was not in love with his mistress, anymore than he was in love with his wife. It was a tacky knee-jerk reaction to save himself, yet it did the opposite. He showed a lack of courage, a lack of integrity, and a lack of class. He acted like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Or like when a toddler plays hide and seek, and they cover their face with a book, thinking they cannot be seen.
He immediately abandoned his mistress, which demonstrated how unimportant she was to him. If he really cared about her, he would have stayed by her side, and shown some empathy for what the exposure would do in her life, as well as his own.
However, when they were exposed for all the world to see, he did not want to be caught dead with her. It was all heady, and fun and games – until it wasn’t. If they had been on a boat, he might have tossed her overboard, just to get rid of the hot potato.
We can all go on about the betrayal surrounding affairs. My motto has always been – If your spouse can’t trust you – who can? It is the main reason I could never understand why people strive to be with someone who is prepared to betray their significant other.
Why would you want to become his (or her) significant other? Wouldn’t you think you could be replaced or betrayed, just as easily? Boredom comes quickly for those who have no loyalty, or monogamous values.
However, affairs are very common, and no one knows the intricacies of walking that tight rope, or the reasons behind it all. Overall, it is much healthier, and far less complicated, to get out of one relationship, before getting into another one.
In so many of the foolish things people do in life, the fact it happens, is part of human nature, and cheating is often a character trait. Some people are loyal, no matter what happens. Others are players. But the reaction when caught, is even more telling, when it comes to the person’s character.
Regardless of how we judge such things, we do have to acknowledge that all people have free will, and can choose to have affairs if they want to. However, those affairs are never quite as covert as the culprits seem to think.
When people work together every single day, often for long hours, the temptation can be strong, especially if there is a physical attraction. In spite of how we view such things, we have no real insight since every situation is unique to the people, circumstances, and environment they are in.
Probably those who have had affairs, or experienced a marital breakdown due to their spouse having an affair, would have a better understanding, than those who have not experienced it first hand.
We can be pretty sure that most of us have witnessed workplace affairs. In a hospital setting, affairs between doctors and nurses are very common. I certainly witnessed, or knew about many of them.
In some cases, the workplace has people who are actually trolling to find someone to hook up with. I recall a few times where certain nurses were looking for a doctor, as a matter of prestige. They did not care if the guy was married, nor did the doctor seeking an affair care if the nurse was married.
Some people seem to prefer trysts with married people, since being somewhat unavailable might make it seem easier, or less threatening to their marriage. However, that is not clear thinking. Affairs, in countless ways can lead to some very uncomfortable, and sometimes dangerous situations.
At the Coldplay concert, Andy Byron, after unceremoniously crouching down to hide, then went on the defensive, immediately getting lawyers involved, threatening to sue, accusing Coldplay of violating his privacy. Huh? By reacting like a victim, he just dug himself in deeper.
It was a very public event, known to have Jumbotron technology scanning the crowd. Chris Martin announced it was coming. He told people to get their makeup on.
One would think it would be known to the CEO of a high tech company, that he could be randomly spotlighted, or picked up on camera. Surely, there would have been multiple cameras at the entrances, and exits as well.
It wasn’t like they were cuddling in the back seat of a car on a remote lover’s lane, with stalking paparazzi crouching in the bushes.
What would make anyone who is having a clandestine affair believe that going to a concert with more than 50,000 people, and a kiss-cam Jumbotron camera scanning the crowd – would be a good idea?
How can it be described as private life? They could have easily been spotted, and filmed on a cell phone by someone who recognized them. What would make them think they were so invincible when it came to public scrutiny? Everyone is. And if you are a rich, eye-catching, hot-shot CEO – even more so.
To make the point that you never know who you might run into, or be seen by: I come from a very small town in Alberta of just 500 people. Yet I know of cases where people from my home town ran into someone they knew, from the same small town – at an airport in Athens, and in another case, someone ran into a person in Germany. People do get around, and lo and behold, we tend to recognize the people we know.
Anyone who is having an affair has to know they could be spotted, filmed, picked up on camera, or even followed by a private detective hired by one of their spouses. To be so flagrant in public, would lead us to believe they wanted to be caught. Yet clearly, they were dumbfounded when they saw themselves on camera.
From lovestruck to dumbstruck. He was goggle-eyed then bowled over. He lost his dignity. Given the office rumours that rapidly came to light, as well as her rapid promotions, and reputation – it got worse by the hour.
Now some savvy board of directors is going to have to do damage control. Their golden boy CEO went up in Astronomer’s vapour. His entire character, and persona was a carefully crafted illusion. Now they have the task of proving the entire company, is not a carefully crafted unicorn-like illusion. Depicting a beast with a horn, is almost prophetic.
Byron went from being a star gazing corporate astro-boffin, to a double crossing deep diver more akin to an astro-buffoon. He is now the joker, a clown, a comic harlequin, a dolt, a merry Andrew. A regrettable person to marry, and a mistake to hire.
One day he was full of power, prestige, money, and envy, when he was actually a double-dipping dream catcher in action. Within a matter of seconds, due to his own poor judgment – he became the laughing stock of the world, an Internet meme, and a victim of the technology, and company he promoted like a crown prince.
When the bubble burst, all that transparent glass came flying back at him. He has already been sacked, and his wife is divorcing him.
What about the mistress? She has her own kettle of fish to deal with, and might be headed for an early retirement, as well as a divorce. Sounds like she broke through the glass ceiling, like a rock-et star, and launched herself into Astronomer’s oblivion. Or so they hope…
Below is a quote from Newsweek describing her glowing profile. She had only been with Astronomer eight months. Just speculating, but if the office gossip was full blown by the time of the kiss-cam exposure, one has to wonder if the affair began immediately, or if it could have been the reason she was hired in the role in the first place? Chances are, the office sleuths will figure it out in due time.
“On this profile, she describes herself as “a passionate people leader known for building award-winning cultures from the ground up for fast-growing startups and multinational corporations. An influential leader and fearless change-agent, I lead by example and win trust with employees of all levels, from CEOs to managers to assistants.”
Well…it sounds like she was passionate all right. What about a fearless change-agent? Chameleon might have been a better word. The last sentence is so laden with hypocrisy, it is almost laughable.
Once again, as pure speculation, based on how dilated his pupils looked in the image – if I was HR, it would be tempting to order a drug test. Given the descriptions about his edgy, short-tempered workplace reputation, it would be even more reason to make him get a drug test. But that too, is all water under the bridge. He can do what he wants, but he won’t have quite as much money, and stardom to flaunt.
He flamed out, and folded like a cheap suit.
In both cases, the spouses were publicly humiliated, without any advance warning. It means those spouses might be smoking mad. Revenge is a strong motivator. The cheap suit is on its way to the cleaners.
One thing that is truly amazing – is how the collapse of a house of cards, can come down like a ton of bricks.
As for most of us ogling onlookers – doesn’t it make you feel glad to be a nobody?
Anonymity is bliss.
The only real game changer, is sincere repentance. It humbles us.
Because no matter who you are – no secret is secure.
There is so much speculation about the imminent divorce proceedings, and about the toxic work environment created by the CEO and Director of HR.
If the rumours about the work environment are true, it could lead to even more problems and legal battles forboth the CEO and the HR. It could even be viewed as an underhanded strategy by the CEO to have total control, to include promotions, firings, and sensitive information about employees.
Whatever comes to light in the aftermath of the affair could complicate things well beyond the exposure of the affair. They could have violated laws to the extent they land in really hot water, and could potentially face charges.
One of the questions circulating around this situation, is whether or not the HR director has a case for claims of power imbalance, saying he initiated the relationship and pursued her. She could imply that due to gender roles, and power imbalance, if she refused go along with it, her job was at risk.
It’s a lame excuse. She had plenty of power, and it takes two to tango. At the concert, did she look like she was being coerced, or forced into the embrace?
Given the role she was in, in my opinion, it is a shaky and weak argument. She had many other options, other than to have an illicit office romance. Her decision to have an affair with a married CEO, is something she has to own.
She was not a twenty year old minimum wage waitress, and single mother, forced into an affair by a powerful owner of a chain of restaurants. She had a very wealthy husband, and was in a role that gave her ample opportunity to firmly say no. At age fifty-two, she had been around the block more than a few times.
If he would not take no for an answer, she could have gone to the board of directors, or let him know the company has sexual harassment policies. Clearly she did not resist his advances.
It is quite possible she was the one who was making a play for him in the first place. They both liked the thrill of high stakes risk, deception, and power. Neither one of them had any respect for ethics, or workplace boundaries. Carrying out an affair for months takes a fair bit of guile.
Now both of them are inclined to play the victim card. No doubt they are feeling the catastrophic effects of their choices. Chances are, it will get worse before it gets better.
Maybe she will end up going on the mental health circuit, claiming to have some mental health disorder that caused the lapse in judgement. It is doubtful he would go that route. Powerful CEO’s don’t tend to admit to anything, let alone a mental health breakdown.
On the brighter side, this situation brings home to many people, just how devastating affairs can be. Maybe those contemplating such a move, will think twice.
The widespread public reaction also makes it clear that the majority of people do not support the concept of extramarital affairs. Children don’t support it either. They are caught in the middle of the mess, and often it affects them for the rest of their lives.
I don’t take a major judgemental stance, because I know marriages, conflicts, and marital breakdown is best kept behind closed doors. I also know people are faced with temptations every day, and who really knows what motivates them to have an affair?
Public opinion and judgement is one thing. Consequences are another thing. Some people never get caught. Few get caught in such a publicized and glaring spotlight as this case.
There are many fish in the sea, some of which take the bait, and others mercifully swim by, oblivious to the lurking danger.
For those who do take the bait, be prepared for a battle that could lead to a gaffe, and a solid bonk on the head. You may end up flopping around in the bottom of a boat, wondering what the heck just happened.
A gaff is a long pole with a spear, used to land a really big fish. This situation immediately turned into the most significant gaffe the big fish CEO has ever made.
Let it be a lesson. I almost got it backwards. Homonyms can be tricky.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Deception always has been part of human nature, but it seems to be increasing exponentially with the widespread use of Internet shopping, dating, social media, and banking. The scams are becoming increasingly sophisticated and realistic.
One of the more disturbing scams is SIM card swapping, because it is something we seemingly have no control over. The scammer contacts the cell phone carrier, and manages to convince them to swap the SIM card, which enables him to take over your phone.
It is one thing to have to be vigilant when it comes to phishing emails, phone calls, and text messages, but the thought of someone taking over your phone without your knowledge, is one of the worst. It takes away the protection of two factor authentication, because the scammer would be able to intercept the two factor authentication.
For the most part, we should not have to lose sleep over it, because the cell phone carrier requires a pin number, and usually a security question. Most of them will notify you if such an attempt is being made. However, many people have been victims of this crime, and had their bank accounts drained.
An iPhone has settings that enable you to block phone calls, and text messages from unknown callers. It notifies you about the blocked call. In addition to Amazon scam calls, shipping, and CRA, there has been a more recent one from a fibre support company, which I have read online, is another scam.
In addition to blocking unknown callers in the settings, you can also set the screen time, so your phone goes blank and requires you to enter the six digit PW at whatever interval you set it at. I used to leave it open for a lengthy period of time just for convenience, but have changed the setting to every 30 seconds. It would prevent someone from taking over your phone if it is stolen, or SIM swapped. Just make sure to use a PW that is not easy to guess.
The change to 30 second intervals also prolongs the battery life significantly. Changing the settings has stopped the unwanted calls, and changing the screen time also provides peace of mind, knowing that 30 seconds would not be enough time for them to try and access any accounts.
The other day I got a phishing scam email pretending to be PayPal citing a high ticket purchase I did not make. I promptly forwarded it to phishing@paypal.com. They acknowledged receipt of the email within a few minutes.
If you examine such emails, you will notice discrepancies in the email address, fonts, and logo. They may be minor discrepancies, but they are a red flag.
Sadly, we cannot safely click on any links, or assume that any email we receive is legitimate. Be especially wary of emails or texts that requires an urgent response. They want a knee jerk reaction, before you have time to examine it, double check, or go straight to the source.
There are many shipping company spoofs now, to include Canada Post, DHL, UPS, Fed Ex, and Amazon. In all cases, it is best to login to whatever account it is, and check, without responding to the email. If the scammer has included a tracking number, you can go to Canada Post, or UPS and put the tracking number in to see if it is valid. If you are not expecting any packages, you can be pretty sure it is a scam.
The same goes for accepting FB friends. I don’t use FB anymore, but have noticed that a high percentage of romance scams are initiated on FB. There are many trolls. FB gets hacked on a regular basis.
Dating apps are a whole new ball game. There are success stories from some of the encounters, but you can be sure those are people who are keen to meet someone local, who they can meet with in person.
Once the in-person meeting takes place, both sides have so much more information to work with. They can see how the person presents him or herself, and if it is the same person they viewed online. They will soon get to meet some of their friends and family.
They have a better chance of determining if what they portrayed online was truthful or not. Most of all, they have the benefit of intuition, attraction, face to face conversation, and chemistry, as a foundation for a real relationship. Part of establishing relationships, is to see what you have in common. Interests, hobbies, sports, faith, fitness, educational background, values, work ethic, etc.
They can see what the other person orders, how they order food and wine, how they interact with waiters, if they pay the bill willingly, if they tip, and whether or not they are warm, confident and relaxed.
They can see if they are glued to their phone during a meal, which might be a sign of cell phone obsession. It is a common problem that interferes with direct communication. People who are always on their cell phones often avoid face to face interactions, and conversations without frequent interruptions.
Chemistry is not always a sign of good things to come. It can mean a lot of things, from lust, to feeding off each other’s weaknesses, to genuine attraction. There is often good chemistry, based on mutual attraction. If a person can sort out the chemistry messages, and how they jive with the rest of the information, it can be a good start.
A frequent red flag is when one side or the other, or both parties get caught up in the proverbial whirlwind relationship. It can be a heady, and exciting time, but it is likely to burn out just a quickly, or worse yet, indicate a lack of boundaries, and an unhealthy entanglement.
In my opinion, the long distance online romances are the riskiest. If the couple can actually meet in person within a reasonable time frame, it reduces the risk.
If the relationship is online only, without meeting in-person, and leads to love bombing, and rapid escalation, it is a major red flag. It is more like an addiction, because the person becomes attached to an illusion, which might quickly become destructive.
There is something to be said about the appeal of online relationships for some people, because they do not involve close interpersonal exchange. It could be that people who are seeking such relationships, are at some level, wanting to avoid in-person, touching relationships.
Sort of like the people who seek out relationships with prisoners on death row. They don’t have to worry about a real relationship. They can be in a relationship, while still being single. They can be a lifeline, and be important to someone, without having to go the distance. They can be a heroic empath, without the traditional strings attached.
A retired airline pilot fell in love with a woman on death row, and left his wife of thirty-five years to marry his lover. They could not get married in the prison, or have conjugal visits. He stayed in a hotel near the prison, and went out and bought a mannequin. He also bought a wedding dress for the mannequin, and then carried out a mock wedding, pretending the mannequin was his bride. He filmed himself dancing with the mannequin.
A woman who had given several hundred thousand to a romance scammer did something equally as outrageous. She and her online scammer got engaged. She paid $42,000 for a wedding ring he had purchased. It turned out to be a fake $10.00 ring, which made her mad. Her hands were swelling, and she believed he had put a hex or a curse on her. She started to get suspicious of her lover, and told him so, accusing him of putting a curse on the ring.
Just to show how innovative these guys are, he then got in touch with a pal of his, calling him a healer. The healer, dressed in shaman like garb contacted her, and told her he would remove the curse.
She had been to multiple doctors by this point, with no relief. The healer told her he would cure her, but she had to send him several thousand dollars. She sent the money, and he told her to urinate in a pot, and then boil it on the stove. When it was boiling, she was told to put an egg in the urine. And that was it. If that didn’t work, the next cure would cost more.
She finally got fed up and cussed him out. He probably laughed. You can see how it can affect the person’s mental health.
Rule number one – don’t be fooled by flattery. Be especially wary if someone calls you their queen. Rule number two – the person whose pictures you are looking at, may not be the person you are talking to. If it is a scammer, for sure it will not be the person you think it is. Rule number three – why would a 30-40 year old, attractive, physically fit man be interested in a 65-70 year old woman? Once again, don’t be fooled by flattery.
And finally, why can’t the person on either side of an online relationship meet someone closer to home? If they cannot attract someone at the places they hang out, like the pool, gym, church, seniors centre, pickleball court etc. etc. then chances are, they are not going to genuinely attract someone online.
People tend to be attracted to people with similar traits. Fitness, success, confidence, and movie star good looks, will seek the same in a partner. If you see a mismatch, you should question motives.
Do people really fall in love online without ever meeting the person? Or is it a pipe dream? It is pretty clear that a strong emotional attachment can develop. However love is more than emotions. There is an element of logic.
Love and marriage is a partnership involving choices, decisions, mutual trust, and finances. Who we choose as a partner is the most important decision of our lives. It is not wise to make the choice within a matter of weeks, especially if you have never met the person. It is bound to lead to broken promises, and a broken heart.
For years, older women used to warn younger women about men, telling them, “they are only after one thing” referring to sex. But now, younger people have to warn their aging parents, and grandparents, letting them know their online paramour is only after one thing – their money.
The escalation of romance scams seems to be inextricably linked to mental health, grief and loss, loneliness, addiction, and a cross contamination of sorts. The victim is crossing signals related to dopamine, and endorphins, as mood elevators, with an attempt to replace something they have lost, and really miss.
They open themselves to deception, and also have to engage in self-deception. They like the flattery, even though they know it is not genuine. It makes them feel good, therefore they want it to continue.
From that point on, they have entered into their own James Bond movie, or Harlequin romance. As soon as the victim falls for all the love bombing and flattery, pledging a lifelong commitment to a total stranger, the scammer knows they have them hooked.
The next phase is the money phase. By the time the victim starts sending money, there has been multiple red flags, they chose to ignore. The request for money is a huge red flag. How does a person who claims to have a high paying overseas job, or is in the military, all of a sudden need money from someone he has known a few weeks?
If you listen to some of their stories, it is truly off the deep end. Many of them claim to be in the military, stationed overseas, or they work on oil rigs overseas. At least, that’s their story.
The drama revolves around sudden accidents, missed flights, re-deployment, kidnapping, fending off sharks, frozen bank accounts, supply chain problems for big business deals, and getting arrested. They also typically claim to have millions of dollars, but the money is tied up for whatever reasons.
They claim to have money, to convince the victim they can, and will pay them back. They make grandiose claims, like having a suitcase or box full of cash, and gold bars. They make multiple promises to send all the imaginary loot to their victim.
Even if the scammer did have large sums of cash, wouldn’t she realize that money laundering is illegal? You cannot move huge sums of cash and gold bars from country to country, without explaining where it came from.
Then there is the fact he is requesting bitcoin deposits, or gift cards. But most of all, why would this person be so dependant on someone he just met online, if he was a legitimate and competent human being? My first question would be – but what did you do last month?
Another tactic they use during the grooming process, is mirroring. If the woman was married to a pilot in the past, they might be a pilot too, or have a small plane or helicopter.
If she was married to a farmer, or grew up on a farm, all of a sudden the person will send images of farming. If she is a devout church goer, so is he. He wants to pray with her, sing to her – and delve into every aspect of her life that has meaning. It is all to create an illusion of attachment.
They will like the same music, same books, same movies, and have a desire to do the same things she likes. Travel the world? Tick. Go cycling, camping and hiking? Tick. Love cooking gourmet food? Absolutely. Fine wines? Oh yes, he will have his own vault of million dollar wines. Love family, and family gatherings. Definitely.
The scammer will claim to be of Scottish, German or American descent, yet when you listen to their voice, it is a Nigerian or West African accent. The victim will admit their lover has an accent, but will adamantly claim it is not African.
They will say it is a mysterious accent. Most of the scammers operate out of Lagos, Nigeria. But they can be from anywhere, and also may have a network of contacts in multiple countries, along with multiple other people they are fleecing at the same time.
Why send money to someone you do not know? Such a request should lead to an immediate block, and termination of all further contact. A request for $100 will lead to another request for $1000. If you bought the first excuse, you are likely to buy into the next lie too. In fact, it seems to become an addiction, not only to the love bombing, but also to the drama.
One guy sent a woman a fake cheque (she was a former nurse). She had sent him over $150,000 over the course of a few months. He sent her the fake cheque with a TD bank logo that was made out for 9.7 million dollars. It was not made out to her, so she put it in a safety deposit box, waiting for him to come visit her, so he could cash it, and repay her.
She was urged by a family member to take the cheque to a bank, and see if it was fake, but she was reluctant to do so. She probably knew it was fake, and sure enough it was.
They manage to steal pics from people who have an online presence, and they too, become victims, because often they are married professionals with no intent to be involved in convoluted scams.
They will photoshop passports, drivers licenses, shipping invoices, bank accounts, cheques, airline tickets, and anything else you can think of, all to keep the money coming.
Some people will advise, go ahead and have the online relationship, just don’t send money. But not only is it time consuming, betrayal carries an emotional, and psychological cost that may even be greater than the lost money.
The person ends up feeling deeply ashamed, stupid, and like they have failed their family. It affects their self esteem, and makes them feel broken. If they were recently widowed, it could lead to a complex grief reaction.
Long term betrayal can lead to multiple re-victimizations, and victim blaming. It is very difficult to undo a con that has gone on for a long time, especially one designed to attack, and take over your identity. It seeps into every facet of your life, and can be soul destroying.
Con artists do not care how you feel. They do not care if you are angry. You mean nothing to them, other than how they can exploit you for their own gain. You are an object, like chattel, or for profit merchandise. If you cease to go along with it, they drop you, and move on to the next victim. It is a churn and burn scenario. If they have hooks into your family, they will use them to hold onto you, and put your feet to the fire.
Just because they have manipulated, and toyed with your emotions, does not mean they have any emotional investment in the relationship. They can be callous, and calculating because they have no feelings for you.
Online long distance relationships are like vapour without substance. They can disappear in a keystroke.They go from a mountain of meaning, to the pit of despair, and then poof, they are gone.
The victim has embarked on a hooligan’s journey over the world’s most dangerous love bridge, dangling on the edge of a cliff, until she is forced to cut the rope. The ties that bind, are an emotional and psychological bondage, all crafted in hoopla and fantasy. She is springing for the grand prize, only to discover it is an illusion. A bottomless pit.
Then there is the knowledge that these scams are often tied to large, global organized crime networks. They may have helped move money around, much like a drug mule moves drugs. The outcome for some of the victims is suicide.
We are living in a somewhat altered universe, where things are not always what they appear to be. This is not only the case with brazen scammers, but also with the media, with certain advertising, financial planners, investment advisors, medical advice, and with certain organizations.
Betrayal is painful, and is to be avoided as much as possible. Some people lie without flinching, and make it a lifelong pattern. Guard your heart, as well as your bank account.
A high percentage of chronic liars never get caught, at least not in this lifetime.
Of all things God hates, lying is at the top of the list, so eventually all lies will be exposed.
Recently I listened to part of an online sermon, where the preacher adamantly insisted the biblical call to repentance was heresy, and false teaching. He was making the argument that anyone who says the bible advises us to repent of sin, lies, etc. is teaching a false doctrine, and is making the claim that salvation is based on works.
Repentance and forgiveness are closely aligned. According to that preacher, reading the bible would be considered to be works. If people do not hear the gospel message – how can they accept it and believe?
The preacher was not able to differentiate between works, and belief. Nor could he assimilate what the bible teaches, and how he has erred in his own teaching. If he thinks the call to repentance is heresy, what does he think of the instructions in the entire bible?
When we hear God’s word, based on what it says in the bible, it is not works. Listening to, or reading the bible is not works. Faith is not works. Prayer is not works. Thought is not works. Belief is not works. Truth is not works. The fruits of the spirit are not based on works. Avoiding being deceived, is not based on works. It is based on discernment, which is another gift from God.
There are certain denominations, like Calvinism that teaches salvation is based on works, and is never secure. But like many off-base denominations, there is always an element of fear, and often confusion, which do not come from God.
Repentance is not works. It is part of our belief in Jesus, and what He did for us by grace, and as a gift. It is not heresy to teach the importance of repentance. It was the central message that John the Baptist preached. There are hundreds of places in the bible, telling us about the importance of repentance. The preacher who was calling it heresy is the heretic. Once again, it is deception. The following are just a handful of verses that speak to the importance of repentance, and its centrality to the gospel message.
In the book of Revelation, when John gave the message to the seven churches, one after another, he told them to repent.
Many of the following verses are the words of Jesus.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The verdict is in on the mean and mealy mushroom saga. Erin Patterson’s claims of cancer proved to be false – she used this as a ruse to get the victims to attend the lunch. She tried to guilt trip her ex into attending the fatal lunch, but he declined the invitation, and dodged the mushroom bullet.
It is almost inconceivable that a person would invite family members to a lunch laced with a deadly poison, and then spend a pleasant three hours visiting, and chatting about the future. She knew she had just ended their future.
One can’t help but wonder if she was relishing the knowledge of their fate, as she chatted about her fake cancer diagnosis, and plans for her future, which she knew was secure. At least she thought it was secure, although she might not have realized how secure it would be in a jail cell.
She was whining about her health, and imaginary conditions, while simultaneously setting them up for one of the worst kinds of death imaginable. The degree of deception gave her a supreme power, and control over her victims, which was likely part of the motive. In fact, cooking the meal was like a death ritual, conducting the termination with a recipe backed by power and precision. Her cunning calculations were known only to her, rife with arrogance, and supremacy. Her life mattered, and she was about to show them, their lives did not matter.
In her twisted mind, was it like “Ha! I sure fixed you.” Or like the words written on her kitchen wall, “RIP grandma, and Die by my sword.” She claimed her children wrote all those macabre messages on the wall, but it would seem more likely she was the one who was behind it. A house painter was so alarmed by the doodling, he pulled out his phone, and photographed the cryptic messages, along with drawings of tombstones. It is so spooky, no wonder she was referred to as a witch.
Her ex had reason to believe she had attempted to poison him in the past, leading to an extended stay in hospital and lengthy recovery. Plus, it appears she wanted to reunite, or at the very least, keep him under her control. He wanted no part of it.
Incredibly, there were at least three other occasions where she is accused of attempting to poison her ex. On at least one of those times, he was hospitalized, and placed in an induced coma for a prolonged period of time. He nearly died.
She also tried to convince the jury that she too had been sick following the meal. But she had discharged herself from the hospital against medical advice, and did not bother bringing her children in for evaluation, even though she said she had given them the leftovers. She obviously spared herself and her children, knowing full well what was in the deadly lunch.
She cooked up separate dishes, and used a different coloured plate to make sure she did not take the poisoned dish. I have never made beef wellington, but apparently it takes many hours to prepare.
All of those hours of preparation, to include the recipe, the shopping, the foraging for death cap mushrooms, dehydrating them, all the research she did, and the lies she told – are indicative of premeditation.
She had all kinds of time and opportunity to think about what she was doing, and abandon the plot. She knew what the outcome would be. Yet she did not manage to think it through, as to how she was going to explain why she came away unscathed. She seemed to think some crocodile tears, and proclamations of innocence, would chase away all the enquiries.
During the trial, she claimed to have eaten a whole cake, and then forced herself to throw up afterward. This too was likely a lie, contrived after the fact to try and explain why she was not poisoned. But if the meal was served at 12:30 and the guests left at 3:30, that left plenty of time for her system to absorb poison, if she was actually poisoned. Apparently it takes twenty minutes to four hours for the toxins to be absorbed, with symptoms of poisoning occurring hours later. There is no evidence that the poison can be extracted or eliminated once it is absorbed.
There are reports she had a career as an air traffic controller, which is hard to believe. She was in fact an air traffic controller for a short period of time before she was married. Her maiden name is Scutter, and she worked as an air traffic controller from Feb 12th, 2001 until November 28th 2002. Less than a year, is not much of a career, indicating that she was not capable of doing the job long term, for whatever reasons. She was described as being short tempered, deceptive and abrasive.
Overall, once she got married, she was a stay at home mom, with some stints of work as an accountant, and editor.
Although she wailed loudly about how much she loved her in-laws, and never meant them any harm, her FB messages told a different story. About eight months before the lunch, she is quoted as saying “I’m sick of this shit and I want nothing to do with them.” She added a few more expletives, which showed her true colours.
She also described her husband as being a deadbeat dad, who was not providing for the family. She tried to involve the parents to help resolve their issues. They did not want to get involved, which angered her even more.
She wrote: “I thought his parents would want him to do the right thing but it seems their concern about not wanting to feel uncomfortable and not wanting to get involved in their son’s personal matters are overriding that, so ef****em.”
Does that sound like she had no issues with them, like she so adamantly claimed right after the poisonings? Yet they were unaware of her simmering rage toward them, and they had genuine good will toward her.
Apparently in addition to being an avid mushroom forager, she was also a true crime buff. What I do not understand is – how did she expect to get away with it?
She used a false claim of having cancer to lure them over. Surely she must have known it could be easily disproven during a murder investigation. When she talked to the media right after it happened, she was extremely evasive about the actual lunch. Did she really expect to poison a group of people without anyone questioning how it came about, and why she was still alive?
She said she got the mushrooms at an Asian grocery store. Yet no one else in the area was poisoned. She said she did not have a food dehydrator, when it was obvious she did. She denied getting rid of it after the deadly lunch, but police were able to retrieve video evidence of her disposing of it.
In fact, she got caught in so many lies, she lost all credibility. She had three phones, and remotely reset one of them after it was taken into police evidence. She immediately launches into the “poor me, victim role”.
She had financial security. She had two healthy children. She had family members, a church community, and hobbies. Yet, in spite of all the blessings in her life, she spent months plotting to murder five people?
As the trial progresses, there are some news titles saying it was a murder without a motive. The motive seems quite clear, and is as old as the hills. She murdered out of revenge, over money, and a loss of control. The most controlling people, are also the most likely to lose control.
She was angry. She was resentful. She had loaned her husband’s family money, yet it did not bring him back to her. She expressed anger, because she had not been invited to a birthday party. She believed there was intentional distancing from her. However, clearly she was not being shunned. The people she targeted were not the least bit cult-like, nor did they show any evidence of ill will toward her. They graciously accepted the invitation, and showed genuine concern for her.
It is the hallmark of cults to shun and punish people, especially if the person being shunned is demonstrating a willingness to forgive, let go, apologize for their role in any conflict, and seek remedies acceptable to both parties. True Christians are willing to forgive, and do not shun family members. Healing may take time. Rejection and shunning causes deep wounds only God can heal, or deal with. Certain cults are notorious for punishing people in such a manner, especially those they cannot control.
Erin Patterson was being treated in a respectful, loving Christian manner, in spite of her oddities, especially given the suspicion of prior attempts to poison her ex. Simon’s parents were demonstrating wisdom, by refusing to interfere in the relationship problems between Erin and her ex. Erin’s expectation that they were going to dictate, or give orders to their adult son, to suit her whims, was a childish and unreasonable expectation. Every Christian wedding we ever attend, we hear the preacher read the verses from Mathew 19:5-6
If a couple separates or divorces, it is between them and their lawyers. No one can force a person to stay married to someone they do not want to be with, or do not feel safe with.
Erin then tried the sympathy route, over her own fabricated health concerns. Given that she had allegedly tried to poison her husband more than once, I don’t understand why the in-laws would accept a meal she had cooked. Poisoning was her MO.
Some people have surmised she was just trying to make them really ill, not kill them. They believe the deaths might have been the outcome, because the people were elderly. Although we have no way of knowing her thought processes, her victims were 66 and 70 years old. They were healthy, functional, active people.
In fact, even after his near death ordeal, Ian Wilkinson is reported to have returned to pastoring his church. He also attended the trial each day. That in itself is indicative of a significant amount of stamina. Many people half his age could not carry on as well as he has, in addition to grieving the loss of his wife. Plus, how does such an opinion explain that Erin managed to put her ex into a coma for sixteen days, teetering near death, when he was in his 40’s? I think the jury got it right. It was not attempted murder, it was murder.
As the jury got closer to deliberating, I couldn’t help but thinking, “how can they put themselves in her shoes?” Imagine all the shopping for food, the actual food prep, dehydrating death cap mushrooms, and calculating the lethal doses. She also had to make two separate dishes, so she had a serving for herself that was not contaminated.
It took a significant amount of time to make the dish. Every single thing she did, was a premeditated and deliberate act. It is so far beyond what a reasonable person would do, who could possibly understand the pathology of her psyche? A person who poisons as a method of murder, is an especially convoluted character, who somehow manages to cultivate insane cruelty through the use of supreme deception.
To top it off, in the months before the murders, she was avidly hunting for death cap mushrooms. This was proven according to apps on her phone about where they had been sighted, combined with phone records of her going to those locations. She was busy plotting a very serious crime.
In addition, there were Internet searches about the effects of death cap mushroom poisoning. It sounds like she planned the murders months in advance, which is chilling. How can any person go about a normal day, when they have a mass murder on their mind? Each day harbours thoughts of carrying out a sneaky, and cruel crime, targeting innocent people within her own circle.
She fully intended to kill the father, and grandparents of her own children. What would she have done to her children once they got older, and perhaps rebelled against her, or made her angry? What might she have schemed up to do to her ex, to punish him for his transgressions?
The main issue seemed to be the separation from her husband, and his refusal to get back with her. How many people go through divorce, or separation? In Canada 40-50% of marriages end in divorce. In Australia it is similar, with 44% ending in divorce. It is a good thing, the majority of them do not have such sinister reactions to a split.
She inherited around two million dollars when her mother and grandmother died. She lived in a large, very nice five bedroom home, and did not have to work. Yet she spent her time plotting murder.
Killing people by poisoning has to be one of the most evil plots known to humans. It is a betrayal of trust like none other. There is no overt violence, but rather a premeditated concoction, served up on a platter of deceit.
Following the poisoning, it is a long and tortuous death. The victim does not bleed out, or die like they would, if it had been a shooting or a stabbing. People are understandably horrified by all the blood at a crime scene. But the internal carnage done by poisoning, is worse in many ways.
Poisoning puts a person through agonizing hours, and sometimes days, of excruciating abdominal pain, cramping, diarrhea, and vomiting. To make matters worse, they died with the knowledge they had been intentionally duped and poisoned. At least one of the people who died, talked about the different coloured plate Erin had used for her own serving. As the victim who mentioned this was dying, she was clearly suspicious, and had to deal with the psychological trauma of the betrayal.
The victims also had the burden of worry for their spouses, and others who were at the lunch, knowing they were going through the same ordeal. Then one by one, all of the organs shut down, and they were put into an induced coma in ICU. It is heinous beyond description.
Erin Patterson knew exactly what she was doing, and what would happen to them. She planned it for weeks, and likely months in advance. Why? Because she was not invited to a birthday party?
Yet she was active in their church, pretending to be a Christian. Anyone of them could have been her next victim. If she was so enraged toward such obviously innocent people who were part of her family, who else might she have targeted?
This is another of many examples, like Lucy Letby, and Lindsay Clancy, where these women had wonderful lives, with all kinds of support, a loving family, and beautiful homes. Yet they became obsessed with murdering the innocent.
Erin Patterson is one of the dumbest criminals I have ever followed in true crime. No one ever gets away with murder, but this was especially obvious. Regarding her defence team, I wonder who thought it was a good idea to put her on the stand to testify? How can a person who told so many lies not get tripped up in those lies?
There are multiple reports describing her as being smart, and some go so far as to claim she is a genius. What a stretch. Calculating and wicked, is not the same as being smart. It is the outcome of harbouring bitter resentments, with no concern for anyone but herself.
She spent all that time, months in advance plotting the crime, and yet she did not realize the first question would be, “Why was she still alive?” Just claiming to have been sick too, doesn’t cut it when there is no sign of it.
What about the dehydrator? Her husband knew she had one. As it turns out, she did dehydrate death cap mushrooms in her dehydrator. Did it not occur to her that her house would be searched? She got rid of the dehydrator after the victims were already deathly ill, and her husband point blank asked her if she used it to poison them. She did not think that one through either.
As a supposed true crime buff, why didn’t she realize the phone evidence would be critical? Or the Internet searches looking for death cap mushrooms, and how to calculate lethal doses? Do people really think she is brilliant because she knew how to reset a phone. A ten year old can figure out how to do that.
Why would anyone think she was brilliant? The doctor said he knew immediately that she was guilty. When I saw her first media interview, I thought the same thing. She did not fool anyone. You could call her cunning, but definitely not smart.
Throughout all of the premeditation, she was standing in the kitchen of her beautiful five bedroom home, set on a lovely property in rural Australia. She had no financial worries. Her primary health concern was her weight, which is something she could have done something about.
She was active in the lives of her children. Did it cross her mind that she was putting life as she knew it in jeopardy? If she would have thought it through to an in-depth investigation, as any intelligent person would expect there to be, she would have concluded she could lose it all.
She lost all facets of her rich and cushy life, with freedom to travel, to entertain, and to pursue any goals she wanted to. In reality – she self-destructed, albeit in a different manner than what she did to the victims. She poisoned her own psyche, her own place in society, the lives of her children, her beautiful home, and the community who had trusted her, and given her the benefit of the doubt.
It appears she was fixated on one thing. Revenge. The two most repeated comments about her that do not make sense are 1. She is is smart 2. There was no motive. She might have been educated, but there are many educated people who are not that smart.
No she is not smart, and yes there was a motive. Just because no normal person would do such a thing, does not mean there is a lack of motive. Revenge is a common motive. Although what she did was crazy, she was not insane.
She was so focused on revenge, self preservation was not in the equation, other than the fact she would live and they would die. It sounds very primitive, as opposed to being a plot carried out by someone with a higher intellect.
She could have admitted to foraging right at the onset, if she wanted to set up an excuse. Along with the cancer diagnosis, she could have pretended to be too unwell to eat during the lunch. Then later, she could have claimed she must have made the mistake of picking death cap mushrooms while out foraging for edible mushrooms. More sophisticated scheming might have left some room for reasonable doubt.
It was dumb to panic, and immediately run out to get rid of the dehydrator. It was dumb to say she bought the mushrooms at Woolworths, and an Asian grocery store. It was dumb to repeatedly lie. It was dumb to make the nasty FB posts about her supposed beloved in-laws. How could she have thought none of that evidence would come to light? After all, those digital bread crumbs are solid evidence, to include dates, time, and context.
Why would she wail in front of media cameras right after it happened, claiming she loved them, and they did her no harm? Boo hoo hoo. Why would she have felt the need to defend herself from accusations of poisoning them on purpose, right off the bat? It made her look guilty, not innocent.
The media was not asking her whether she murdered them. They were asking about the lunch, a question Patterson skirted around like a hen on a hot griddle.
It still does not explain all the Internet searches, resetting phones, going to locations where they were sighted etc. If there had been a plausible explanation as to how and why she survived, when all the guests got lethal doses of death cap mushrooms, it would have given her a slim chance of getting away with it. However, the way she went about the entire sequence of events, was stupid and irrational, even though it was a devious plot.
Some say that if all the guests would have died, her cancer ruse would not have been known. Yes it would have, because there were texts to one of the women victims about the cancer. Her ex knew about those false claims as well. So, the evidence would have shown she used it as a ruse whether or not there was a survivor. But the different coloured plates may not have been know without a surviving witness.
One of today’s reports on the case, said she did not look like a murderer. What does a murderer look like? Some murderers look like innocent little darlings. Lucy Letby and Erin Caffey both portrayed youthful, wide eyed, sweet purity in the image they portrayed – yet they too were mass killers.
Erin Patterson does not exactly look sweet and innocent, not that it means anything. But her looks and demeanour would not likely gain sympathy from anyone, let alone jurors. It was especially so, given the many lies she told, as well as her initial theatrics in front of the news media.
It was obvious she was faking her grief and innocence. She quickly became flustered and angry when they pressed her for answers about the actual lunch. If she was innocent, she would have been more than willing to go over the details of the lunch.
Although there are some legitimate privacy concerns in this digital age, over the use of cell phones, and surveillance cameras – they do provide solid evidence when it comes to convicting criminals. The digital footprint was crucial in helping to get guilty verdicts on Alex Murdaugh, and Brian Kohberger.
When you factor in the DNA evidence, to include the shedding of skin cells when something is touched, along with the digital footprint, murder is not the least bit fool proof. Even with cold cases, they are often solved many years later using DNA, and genetic DNA.
In the case of the Idaho college student murders, the police went to Kohberger’s parents home, and confiscated a Q-tip from the trash. They used that Q-tip to link it to the DNA on the knife sheath found at the crime scene. The DNA on the Q-tip showed it was Brian Kohberger’s father’s DNA. One can only imagine how Kohberger’s parents feel, and how they can possibly deal with the magnitude of his crime.
But even more than justice based on the diligent work of police, and prosecutors, God knows when murder is committed, no matter how the person goes about it, or whether or not they are caught.
The very first murder was when Cain killed his brother Abel. God immediately knew, which is a reminder to all people that justice will eventually be served.
It is hard to imagine how the children of Erin Patterson are processing this horrific crime. I believe they were nine and fourteen years old at the time of the crime. She was described as a doting mother, so they must have conflicting feelings. They were also subject to her many lies and manipulations, especially toward their father.
She planned to go through nursing and become a midwife. I find that hard to even imagine. She is fifty years old, so by the time she graduated she would have been just a few years away from retirement. Plus the job of nursing is physically taxing and exhausting with all the shift work, and fast paced busy environment to cope with. It sounds like it was just a pipe dream to try and boost her fragile self esteem.
The psychology behind such a crime may never be understood. Some people cannot withstand rejection, without cultivating a deep rage. They cannot accept God’s grace, or instructions to persevere and do good. They cannot repent and turn away from sinful plotting and scheming. They are self destructing, and become bound and determined to take others with them.
Since she will likely spend the rest of her life in jail, she will never be part of life as she once knew it. She will not cook, or be with her family for any holidays. She will not forage for mushrooms. She will not live in a five bedroom beautiful home.
She will always be known as the notorious mushroom killer, a mass murderer, and pathological liar. More than likely, there will be numerous books and movies about the case. When the media pursued her, she was enraged because they made her look like a wicked witch. They did not make her look that way – she did. They were simply chasing her down for answers.
It will be interesting to see if she ever admits guilt in the coming years. No doubt there will be one appeal after another.
Meanwhile all of the victims in this case, will hopefully begin the long journey toward healing, and forgiveness. Thank God one of the victims Ian Wilkinson survived to give his testimony.
His leadership as both a victim, and a pastor, will be invaluable to the small community as they try to move past this horrible crime. Even though he has become physically stronger, he still must deal with the grief, the loss of his spouse, and the depth of the betrayal.
No doubt he will develop a profound discernment, when it comes to all those in his church and community. Surely his worldview has changed dramatically, but with God’s help he will be a blessing to many. He sat through the entire trial and testimony.
All those who followed this trial will pray for Ian, and his church. Every crime has many victims. Every church has a percentage of chameleons.
It is a sad fact to know how many avid churchgoers will readily commit crimes. Often they believe they will be forgiven immediately. There are some who believe they can never lose their salvation no matter what they do, and once saved, all sins, including future sins are forgiven.
Some of them believe they can hide their crimes, and their motives. Others go to church, but are not Christians at all. The bible tells us we will know them by their fruits.
I don’t really know how God will judge people, and what limits are placed upon His grace. But I do know that He knows what is in our hearts. No one can fool God. Thankfully, this woman did not fool a jury either.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
We don’t have much public education when it comes to all the supplements we are encouraged to take. In recent years, much has been said about vitamin D deficiency, leading millions of people to take large doses of vitamin D.
We should all be aware that excess doses of fat soluble vitamins are not promptly filtered, and excreted by the body. They are stored in the liver, and fatty tissues for many months. Too much of these fat soluble vitamins can lead to toxicity.
Symptoms of toxicity can include any of the following: Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, skin rashes or skin peeling, and fatigue. If the toxicity is severe, it can lead to liver damage, kidney damage, bone pain, bleeding and clotting disorders, confusion, and blurred vision.
Other vitamins, even though they are not fat soluble, can also cause many problems. Vitamin B6 is often sold to improve nerve function. However, in high doses it does just the opposite, and can lead to severe neuropathy. High does of vitamin E can lead to bleeding disorders, and hemorrhagic stroke. Too much magnesium can lead to nausea, vomiting, dehydration, urinary retention and other health problems.
Calcium is not the wonder supplement it has been sold as. Too much calcium actually weakens bones. It can also lead to cardiac and neurological problems.
Another thing to consider is that we already get a range of vitamins in our diet. In many cases the daily requirement is quite low, in order to naturally prevent toxicity. If you take a range of supplements without carefully reading the fine print, you might be adding a toxic dose to your daily routine.
We must take into consideration whether or not we actually need the supplement, based on dietary restrictions, or other health issues. We also have to evaluate whether or not they could potentiate, or alter the effects of OTC medications, or prescription medications.
Many supplements can and will increase bleeding tendencies if taken in combination with blood thinners. Other supplements, like potassium, can interfere with the normal sinus rhythm of the heart, and cause arrhythmias.
Other vitamins, like high doses of vitamin C can increase the likelihood of kidney stones.
We also have to be cautious with certain foods, and teas. Too much green tea, or the use of green tea supplements can lead to liver damage. Brazil nuts must be limited to no more than two per day, as they can cause health problems due to the high selenium content.
Cinnamon contains coumarin. If taken to excess it can cause a range of health problems, to include bleeding. Black licorice due to the fact it contains the compound called glycyrrhizin, if taken to excess can cause high blood pressure, a drop in potassium levels, and even cardiac arrest.
For those who are prone to kidney stones, they should be aware that many foods are high in oxalates, which can contribute to the formation of kidney stones. This includes raw spinach, black pepper, and many other foods and spices.
Too much protein, as in protein supplements can lead to kidney damage.
We often tend to think that if a small amount of something is good for us, a larger amount will be better. But this is what can lead to toxicity, or a range of health problems that may not be easy to diagnose.
Be very wary of supplement blends that do not contain a detailed list of ingredients, with the amounts of each vitamin or compound. These are often promoted and sold as weight loss blends, or something to increase energy and vitality. The supplement industry has enough issues, without creating blends that might be toxic to individuals, especially those with reduced liver function.
Always keep in mind that those who are promoting all the supplements as some kind of wonder fuel, or method of maintaining longevity or optimal health – are doing so for profit.
Their goal is to sell, sell, sell. They have no real connection to the results of all those supplements, since there are many variables to consider. People often do not know why they feel unwell after taking certain supplements, and may attribute it to something else.
Most of all, we need a well balanced whole food, whole grain diet. If we can manage that, we probably do not need any supplements. For those who do take supplements, do your research, listen to your body, and especially your intuition.
I was taking cod liver oil, and turmeric supplements, but decided to stop. I do not want to risk any bleeding or liver problems.
Cod liver oil, once opened has a shelf life of three months. The oil is extracted from the liver of the cod fish. It contains fat soluble vitamins A and D, along with omega fatty acids. Any excess of the vitamins is stored in our liver, and omega fatty acids are stored in the cell membrane. We have to be wary of taking any fish oil that might be going rancid, or that might be harvested where there are high levels of pollution.
We can get the benefits of using turmeric as a spice, knowing we are unlikely to overdo it if we cook with it. All kinds of spices are beneficial to our health, to include thyme, oregano, sage, dill, parsley, and many more. In fact, almost all spices will not only improve culinary flavours, but will also add multiple trace minerals, and beneficial compounds to our diets.
We can get omega fatty acids from salmon, sardines, avocados, nuts, and seeds, with chia and flax seeds listed as excellent sources of both fibre and omega fatty acids. They also have a much longer shelf life than cod liver oil, in the range of 1-5 years, depending on whether or not the flax seed is ground, and how the seeds are stored.
The cautionary tale with all vitamins, supplements, OTC, and prescription meds, is that none of them are totally innocuous. Many of them can become toxic, and can also react with other medications, supplements or foods.
Don’t be fooled by false promises. Those false claims can adversely affect your health, and waste your money.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Recently I wrote a post describing card skimmers, as one of the many technological scams. But everyday we read about another poor person who was scammed in some other way. Everything from corporate fraud, to bitcoin scams, to websites that look legitimate but are designed to defraud unsuspecting customers, to romance scams, and everything in between.
We can learn from the mistakes other people make. Every year hundreds of millions of dollars are lost to romance scams. Many people scoff at how naive some people can be. But we have to keep in mind the victims are first targeted, and then carefully groomed by a network of organized criminals.
Most victims have gone through recent divorce, or the death of a spouse. They are susceptible to flattery, wishful thinking, escapism, and hope for some relief of loneliness, tedium, and loss.
Once a person takes the bait, they are literally on the hook. They become so emotionally invested, they cannot untangle themselves. In addition, once they become involved, somewhat like a drug mule, they are committed. Often the victims are blind participants in money laundering, and bank fraud. On an intuitive level, they may know this to be the case, but their denial will not allow them to process it.
Romance scams cost hundreds of millions of dollars nationwide every year, and are on the rise. Like many other scams, they tend to be under reported because the victims feel so ashamed. In some cases, even when faced with irrefutable evidence, the victim still wants to be in love with the illusion, and cannot let it go.
It struck me as odd to see an 84 year old woman madly in love with a 62 year old fake profile. The man they were representing had no idea his image had been stolen to be used in such a manner. He was a fit, blond haired, blue-eyed person of European or American descent. Yet the man who was on the phone with this woman had a thick Nigerian accent. Even so, she continued to associate her online lover with the fake photograph.
The scammers love bomb their victim. Anyone who tells an 84 year old woman she is drop dead gorgeous has to be a scammer. Only a husband of sixty years would think so. But regardless, this woman was smitten. She believed what she wanted to believe.
Romance scams have many common denominators. They target their victims carefully, they get them on the hook, love bomb, can never meet in person due to various circumstances, and then they start hitting them up for money. They do this once they believe the person actually thinks they have a future together, so they are willing to invest more and more into the fake relationship.
In reality, it is not much different than believing in Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. Rule number one for all online dating, is never send the person money. If you have not met them, you do not know who they are.
Investment scams are another huge loss for many people. One woman who thought she was transferring funds buying government bonds, was tricked into depositing $750,000 online. She mistakenly believed she was making the transfer through a legitimate online investment company. But as it turned out, the company was fake, and within a matter of days after she made the deposit, the website, and the slick fraudster disappeared entirely.
In another recent situation, a man in his late seventies sold his house for $800,000, thinking he would downsize, and have enough money for his golden years. Shortly after he sold his house, he got a text message telling him he had won $17 million in a lottery. But there was a catch. He had to pay the taxes on the money before they would release the funds. I guess he must have been a person who bought lottery tickets.
He immediately began transferring all the money from the sale of his house to the fraudulent account, until it was gone. Understandably, he is now broke, ashamed, and devastated. His daughter had no clue this was happening, until it was too late.
Scams can affect us in many different ways. Once we become over emotional, or compelled to react, we are not thinking clearly, and might take foolish, and impulsive risks.
Scammers are looking first for a connection with you, and then a response. You can eliminate many of the phone scammers by going into the Settings on your phone, and silencing all unknown callers.
Another younger woman was scammed out of more than $50,000 based on a spoof call from her bank. She ended up divulging personal information, and the scammer was able to drain her account. Within a matter of minutes, she realized it was a scam, and contacted her bank asking them to freeze her account immediately, but it was too late. The reason she recognized it was a scam was because after getting her account information, which was with a major bank, they then said her bitcoin account was also compromised. She thought, wait a minute – what does this bank have to do with a totally separate bitcoin account?
The saddest thing about most of the scams, is that the money is not retrievable. In some cases, the victim actually gave their money away. But in other cases, they are duped in a very devious manner. How many people are adept at discerning fake logos?
Those fake logos are now coming from every mainstream organization – from PayPal, to Amazon, UPS, Canada Post, email addresses, major banks, CRA, and so on.
Like most other scams, the scammer pushes for an immediate response or a reaction. They want you to click on a link, follow certain login information, call a phone number, or respond to an email. They create a sense of urgency.
Keep in mind, if they contacted you, they are the ones who want something, not you. You can always delete their message, and login to your bank account, PayPal, CRA or Amazon account etc. to check on the recent activity. Chances are, you will immediately see that the claims sent by the scammer are bogus. Your account is in good standing with no unusual activity.
Some of the scammers will threaten you. I had one very stern voice mail caller claiming to be from immigration. They were threatening to deport me if I did not respond to them immediately. I was born in Canada, and have never had anything to do with immigration, so I knew it was a scam. But I can see that it might have been unsettling if I was an immigrant.
It seems like there is an exponential growth in scams. Just when you think you have seen it all, new ones pop up. No one is immune. People across the entire spectrum of wealth and intelligence have been scammed, from the low end to the high end.
To help protect ourselves, it is a good rule of thumb to avoid responding to any, and all unsolicited emails, text messages and phone calls. This includes surveys over recent purchases or deliveries. Many of those contacts are innocuous parts of a company marketing campaign. But we are under no obligation to respond. If you make a purchase and like it, you will keep it. If not, you will return it. You don’t need to answer surveys on whether or not you liked your shopping experience.
Some of those surveys are ridiculously long. Like who wants to answer a ten page survey over a popcorn maker?
Go ahead, be cynical, skeptical, and a conspiracy theorist. Because when it comes to scams – it is a conspiracy. The fake romancer is often part of a criminal network. Same with the fake investment website, or bitcoin bait.
They know it is human nature to be fooled by flattery. They also know people are lured by the promise of quick gain. So if a bond usually pays 1% interest, they can lure naive individuals by saying they will pay 5% interest.
One of the worst cases of fraud I have ever read about involved a couple who were selling a boat. They were fit, world travellers, in their fifties, and the husband had been with law enforcement. So they did not appear to be easy targets.
But they were taken in by a young couple with a baby who said they wanted to buy the boat. The victims had recently had a grandchild, and were selling their boat to move back to land to be close to their grandchild. In addition, they were taken in by a fraudulent lure to make the sale tax exempt. The perps brought along their own notary, who was also in on the scam.
The unsuspecting couple took these people on a cruise to show them the boat. At the last minute, the perps brought along another thug, who they claimed was their accountant.
Once they were out on the water, they soon realized they were in deep trouble. They were overpowered, and then chained to the anchor, and thrown overboard. The reenactment of their final couple of hours is so harrowing, I don’t know how their families could cope.
We all would like to be able to give people the benefit of the doubt. So often people see many red flags, but ignore them or rationalize them away. The couple with the boat did see several red flags. They did have a “bad feeling” because they voiced it before the tragedy. But for whatever reasons, they went ahead with it, just wanting to get the boat sold, so they could move on with their new plans.
Our intuition, or gut feelings are actually our second brain. They are sending us signals that often cannot be put into words. Our gut feeling is our warning light, or danger signal telling us to stop the transaction, or meeting, or whatever.
Probably the best advice, is to always pay attention to what our gut is telling us. It can save us not only from scams targeting our bank accounts, but more importantly, it can save our life if we fall into a dangerous snare.
If you get trapped into a longterm scam relationship, getting out is a matter of survival. Remember, if you are in a situation you cannot leave – it means you are far worse off if you stay. In some cases, you have to give up everything, just to get out from under it.
One of the biggest mistakes people make, is to think the perp will not harm them. The perpetrator does not care about the victim in the least. The victim means nothing to them, other than what the victim can do for them, or how they can exploit the victim for personal gain.
First and foremost, you cannot trust a liar. If someone is constantly lying to you – they will take, and keep on taking, until you firmly put a stop to it. They will scheme behind your back. They will manipulate, coerce, bully, brainwash, gaslight, and use every trick in the book to bilk you, or turn you into their personal slave.
If they are pretending to be someone they are not – they see you as an easy mark. If they can craft a pseudo relationship to ensnare you, that means they are dominating, and in control. It is a form of bondage. The predator does not have the same mindset, or values as the average person.
Don’t make the mistake of believing they are decent human beings, when everything they represent is based on a lie. There is a reason they are called leeches. They will suck the lifeblood right out of you.
You can turn the other cheek, give them your cloak, and they will take over your house. Whatever you give them, they want more. They have no boundaries.
We can forgive them, but first we have to get free of them, and only then, do we get clarity on what exactly happened. It can take a long time to heal and overcome the trauma inflicted on us by an invasive scammer. They will target your mind, your emotions, and your spirit, in a soul destroying game of cat and mouse.
We do not have to allow others to dominate and victimize us. We are actually supposed to be discerning. We should not allow anyone to bully us out of our better judgment, when it comes to our own life and security.
Setting boundaries is an important aspect of protecting ourselves against scammers, and manipulative con artists. Lock them out of your life.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
It is truly amazing how different our Christian beliefs are, especially when it comes to end times, and eschatology.
Dispensationalists believe there will be a pre-tribulation rapture, followed by a millennial reign of Christ on earth. However their beliefs are radically different from historic premillennialism, in that John Darby, and Scofield added numerous things to the biblical interpretation that were not part of the early church beliefs.
Historic pre-millennialism taught there would be a 1000 year reign of Christ on earth after Jesus returns. They did not teach the pre-tribulation rapture of the church, or the separation of the Jews and Gentiles. They did not divide the bible into dispensations, or teach there would be a return to animal sacrifices in the future.
These additions include dividing the bible into seven dispensations, or ages, in which they claim God deals differently with the people in each era. They also believe in the separation of the State of Israel, and that God has different plans for Jews and the Gentiles.
However, the bible does tell us in many places that the body of Christ is one people. There is one body, and God does not change this message.
The dispensationalists also believe in the rebuilding of the physical temple in Jerusalem, along with a return to animal sacrifices.
The bible tells us Christ was the ultimate sacrifice, and His death on the cross means there is no more need for animal sacrifices. When Christ was here teaching the gospel, crucified, and then resurrected, it demonstrated to us that the shedding of His blood was the final sacrifice, and His body is the temple of God. Prior to His death Jesus said “it is finished”. Those were His last recorded words while on the cross.
Scofield added hundreds of footnotes to the Scofield bible, none of which were based on the original bible, or the inspired word of God. John Darby invented the pre-tribulation rapture theory in the mid 1800’s, and it has stuck like glue.
Dispensationalism has hundreds of deviations from the original teachings of the Apostles. Since these teachings were added later, it brings us to the warning in Revelation 22:18-19 near the end of the bible:
A-millennialism is the belief that there is no literal 1000 year reign of Christ after He returns. The 1000 year reign is described six times in Revelation 20. It is also described in many other places in the bible. Regardless, they view the 1000 year reign as being completely symbolic. They also somehow manage to make the claim that Satan was bound when Christ was crucified.
This belief system was established around 300 years after the Apostles, and is part of the Catholic teachings, rooted in the beliefs and teaching of St. Augustine.
Dispensationalism adds to the original biblical canons, and a-millennialism takes away from them, in very significant ways.
After studying both of these belief systems, it seems to me they are man-made doctrines. I cannot reconcile many aspects of both these teachings, when comparing what it actually says in the bible.
Some people believe the entire book of Revelation is symbolic, with no basis in reality. The Book of Revelation is the revelation of Jesus Christ. For believers this is a reality, and is not some esoteric vision that happened in 70 AD.
I cannot see how we can interpret the return of Christ as being symbolic, or something that has already happened. After all, it is described as the most significant, and climactic event in the history of the world. Clearly, it has not happened yet.
It seems with much of the current eschatology, there is more focus on the anti-christ, than there is on Christ. This causes much fear, and robs people of the good news the gospel was intended to be.
We have to keep in mind the antichrist is only mentioned a few times in the entire bible, located in the book of John. There is no tangible mention of the antichrist in the Book of Revelation.
However, there is mention in Revelation of the various systems, and kingdoms that must be defeated by Christ when He returns. I do not believe this is a single monstrous type individual. I believe it is a deceptive system, involving many people from many different nations.
I think it is important to note that Christ is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end. God knows the beginning from the end. We do not know, which is why it is so important to have faith, and trust God, as well as to seek the truth in the bible. God speaks to us through His word, through prayer, and through the Holy Spirit. We should never put our full trust in the teachings of men, because they are fallible, and often deceptive.
For biblical teachers to make the claim that certain parts of the bible are not addressed to us, is a mistake. All of the bible is addressed to all of the generations, throughout all of history. We should not tamper with, or discount any part of it.
We all have free will to believe what we choose to believe. Many people are taught certain eschatologies without ever realizing there are several different points of view. They become indoctrinated with certain beliefs, without comparing their own beliefs to what is taught in the bible.
Many people are afraid to challenge, or go against the doctrinal beliefs of a church they have attended for years. It shatters their illusion, and might damage their attachment to a certain church, and longstanding social structure.
Galatians is reported to be one of Paul’s earliest letters following the crucifixion of Christ. He gave a clear warning about the dangers of teaching another doctrine. Some people do not consider dispensationalism, or a-millennialism to be different doctrines. However, once you delve into dispensationalism, and see the deviations from the original bible, it is a very different doctrine. Read Galatians 1-6-10:
If you go to a dispensational church, study the scriptures, and start to believe the rapture doctrine is a lie, you are likely to be shunned. The rapture theory is one that is stubbornly adhered to, in spite of evidence to the contrary. Many people live their whole lives believing they will be raptured any day. Millions of people have died, without ever having been raptured. They take that belief system with them to their graves.
If you go back in church history, from the beginning, to the present day, the resurrection of Christ, combined with the promise to resurrect those who believe in Him on the last day – is the central hope for all believers. It is the number one most important promise contained within the bible. It is described as a phenomenal extraordinary event occurring with the sound of the last trumpet, and the voice of an archangel.
The bible makes it clear the Christians will be here when Christ returns. These verses tell us Christians will not be raptured before the tribulation. Verse 31 is describing the vastness of the earth, and the heavens above us, and the gathering up of Christians when he returns. This is when we will be changed, given new bodies, and be resurrected to meet Him in the air. It demonstrates the long-awaited promise that we too will be brought into eternity, as Christ was when he died and was resurrected. There is a parallel, which is central to the gospel message. Mathew 24:29-31 describes it.
Certain verses in the bible have been interpreted to be the rapture by dispensationalist teaching, when those verses are actually referring to the resurrection of the believers when Christ returns.
The bible says the dead in Christ shall rise first. The supposed idea of a rapture, is to protect or remove the believers from the earth, so they do not have to go through the great tribulation. It is conveyed as being a rescue of sorts.
But ask yourself – why would the dead need to be rescued from tribulation? They would not be going through it anyway. They are already dead, and do not even know what is going on.
Also, why would the early Christians, and all Christians throughout all of history go through persecution, and tribulation, yet the Christians just prior to Christ’s return are spared for some reason?
The persecutions during the early church era included being beheaded, tortured, stoned, lit on fire, and fed to wild beasts, as just some examples. They were not raptured, and nor were they facing God’s wrath. They were enduring extreme persecution for their Christian beliefs, right up until they died.
Why would people believe Christ is coming three times, when the second coming is the final triumph? Why would true believers who are alive when Christ returns want to miss this most triumphant event?
Often those who believe this false doctrine will say things like “God has not appointed us to wrath”. It is true, we will not experience God’s wrath. which is not the same as being spared from persecution or tribulation.
Keep in mind iniquity, and corruption stems from dishonesty. The roots are in the fallen seed as described in the parable All forms of dishonesty will be subject to God’s wrath. Just as we cannot separate Christ from truth, we cannot separate Satan from his lies. He is described as the father of lies. Matthew, Mark and Luke describe the parable of the sower and the seed. Luke 8:4-11 tells us what the parable means.
God does promise us he will help us, and will be with us no matter what we go through. We are told to endure until the end, not to endure until we get close to the end – but rather, the end of the age. We are not supposed to be cowards. We are not supposed to carry a burden of fear, or walk with a spirit of fear.
These are truths that all of us can be shaky on, because we do fear all kinds of things. It is easy to lose confidence in our own ability to overcome fear, or stand firm in our faith when we face what we fear.
But of all things feared, death is probably the biggest fear for most people, to include how we die. Knowing Christ has overcome death puts our fears to rest. What is the worst that can happen if we are true believers? We die knowing we will be resurrected into a new and glorified body, when Christ returns. We will be called from the grave to rise to eternal life, where there will be no more death, pain or sorrow. 1 Corinthians 15-50-54 describes what we can expect to happen.
Therefore through our faith in Jesus, and sincere desire to know the truth, He will show us the way, the truth and the life.
Jesus is the embodiment of the word of God. We can never separate the two, without falling into error. Truth is very important. Truth is central to love, and love is embodied in truth, never deception. We cannot separate truth, love, or the word of God from each other. We must seek and cleave to what is true, and study the bible for the answers to our questions. John 3:16 For God so loved the world…
For a period of time, I too, was deceived about the central beliefs in the bible. I was deceived by man, not God. It led to cognitive dissonance, confusion, a sense of entrapment, backsliding, and despair.
I do not harbour a holier than thou attitude toward anyone, because I know how much deception is in this world. It is by the grace of God, I have delved into the bible and found truth. Although I do not understand all of it, the truth has brought me much peace, and much closer to the love, light, and spirit of God through Jesus Christ. I am forever thankful.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
There are many advantages to creating your own multigrain hot cereal. You can carefully select the ingredients, and avoid what you do not like, or tolerate, while adding high quality extras like chia and hemp seeds.
If you buy from the bulk food section, you will get a nutritious blend of grains at a fraction of the cost. The central idea is to go for the grains with the least amount of processing.
Some of the pre-mixed multigrain blends include whole wheat farina, which is a more processed form of the wheat kernel. Cracked wheat has all of the wheat kernel, without removing the bran, and is slightly more crunchy.
Steel cut oats are more nutrient dense, and less processed than fast cooking oats. In fact steel cut oats look very different than regular oatmeal, or Quaker oats as we are probably most accustomed to.
Therefore if you start with a 50/50 mixture of steel cut oats and cracked wheat, you can add some millet, and red quinoa. All of these grains take about the same time to cook, whereas barley and brown rice take much longer to cook. I put a quarter cup of these mixed grains in a small bowl and pour boiling water over them to reduce cooking time to ten minutes.
Once added to the pot, I put in a cup of water, a bit of salt, and then add another quarter cup blend of chia seeds, hemp seeds, sesame seeds, poppy seeds, ground flax, and whole flax seeds. I keep this container in the fridge because they stay fresh longer.
I also add a handful of sunflower and pumpkin seeds, and a few raisins. Although I haven’t tried it yet, I think I will try adding some brewer’s yeast. I did try adding some ground milk thistle, but find that even when ground, the kernels are too tough.
There are many options such as adding ground almonds, walnuts, corn meal or soy. You can base the blend on how much protein you want to add, without sacrificing fibre, and on what sensitivities or preferences you might have.
Many people have chosen to go gluten free, which is mostly due to the mass marketing against gluten a few years ago. There is also a realization that white bread, white flour, white pasta, and white rice, have been stripped of their nutrients.
Overall, wheat has been a dietary staple since the beginning of time. Celiac disease is a genetic autoimmune condition leading to a complete intolerance of the protein found in wheat, barley and rye. Many people carry the HLA-DQ2 and HLA-DQ8 genes without ever developing Celiac. In recent years, these genes can be identified, and a definitive diagnosis can be made. Only about 1% of the population have true Celiac disease.
The problem for those with Celiac disease, is their body reacts to even tiny amounts of the proteins, often homeopathic levels, they picked up without knowing it. They have to be very vigilant, and cannot use bulk food bins, or eat at buffets where cross contamination of grains is high. Even the spatula or utensils used from one pan to another, can cause cross contamination of grains, the same as it can for transferring food allergens like peanuts or shell fish.
In Celiac disease, the autoimmune system reacts by attacking the lining of the gut. Due to the excessive cross contamination of grains, they end up having frequent bouts of gut problems, diarrhea, headaches, bloating, fatigue, and other health problems.
For those with sensitivities to certain grains, the breakfast cereal can be adjusted to remove the offending grain. In the case of sensitivities or allergies, it is best to avoid the bulk food bins, and buy the grains in packages, carefully reading the labels.
We tend to think of high fibre foods as being whole fruits and vegetables. Although fruits and vegetables do have fibre, especially if the peel is left on potatoes, zucchini, carrots etc. the amount of fibre is much less than what you find in whole grains.
For optimal gut health, we need a mix of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains in our diet. We need a mix of both soluble and insoluble fibre.
Soluble fibre dissolves in water. It slows digestions and lowers cholesterol. Examples are oats, peas, beans, barley, apples, and citrus fruits.
Insoluble fibre does not dissolve in water, and promotes regularity. It is also thought to reduce the risk of colorectal cancer. Examples are whole wheat, bran, nuts, beans, and certain vegetables like cauliflower, green beans, leafy greens, and broccoli.
Whatever our choices or sensitivities might be, it becomes pretty clear that we are best to choose a wide variety of whole foods and grains in our diet. The gut feeds off trillions of different kinds of bacteria, therefore the variety increases the amount of healthy gut bacteria.
Although most of us know how much antibiotics kill healthy gut bacteria, we should be wary of many medications to include over the counter medications like NSAID’s, antihistamines, and certain supplements. Recent research has pointed out that probiotic supplements are not good for restoring gut health. Fibre, whole foods, and fermented foods will restore or maintain gut health.
The old adage to let food by thy medicine seems to ring true. The back on the farm principles of eating whole foods, home baked bread, fresh eggs, free range beef and chicken, home made pickles – and plenty of fresh air, sets a better pace for our health in general. We do not need oats that cook in less than a minute. If so, we are far too busy for our own good.
We all know that eventually we will die. Most of us have had a loved one die, followed by the grief, sorrow, and sometimes guilt. As we get older, we experience the losses more and more, as friends, family members, and others around us die.
The sermons at the funerals offer comforting words, most often by assuring people their loved ones are in heaven. Therefore most Christians believe we go straight to heaven when we die. But is that what the bible actually says?
I no longer believe we go directly to heaven. However I do have some confusion, or perhaps not a clear understanding of certain verses. I believe we simply rest without conscious awareness until Christ returns, based on the following verses:
Daniel 12:2
2 And many of them that sleepe in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to euerlasting life, and some to shame and euerlasting contempt.
Ecclesiastes 12:7
7 Then shall the dust returne to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall returne vnto God who gaue it.
Perhaps the most clarification comes from 1 Thessalonians 4:13-16
13 But I would not haue you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleepe, that ye sorrow not, euen as others which haue no hope.
14 For if we beleeue that Iesus died, and rose againe: euen so them also which sleepe in Iesus, will God bring with him.
15 For this we say vnto you by the word of the Lord, That we which are aliue and remaine vnto the comming of the Lord, shall not preuent them which are asleepe.
16 For the Lord himselfe shall descend from heauen with a shout, with the voyce of the Archangel, and with the trumpe of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first
These verses make it pretty clear, we do not go to directly to heaven when we die. What causes some confusion is the verse telling us we go back to dust, and our spirit goes back to God, who gave it. And also, when the spirit leaves the body, the body is dead.
Some people attribute these verses to the imaginary rapture, however it is clear that Paul is talking about when Christ returns. There is no secret pre-tribulation rapture. People who believe this should re-read the verses in full context.
The idea of a pre-tribulation rapture was invented by John Darby in the 1800’s. It appeals to many Christians, because it implies there will be a rescue, before the tribulation period, which they believe will be a period of seven years, with the worst violence, wars, plagues, and pestilence the world has ever known.
But if the dead are going to rise first – why would they need to be rescued from the tribulation? They are already dead, and are no longer affected by the tribulations in the world.
The Book of Revelation also makes it quite clear that the Christians will be here until Christ returns.
What is not clear to me is whether or not our spirit has any awareness after it leaves the body.
There is often confusion about the immortality of the soul. Some religious beliefs claim the soul leaves the body, and does not die. However the bible clearly says it is the spirit that leaves the body, and returns to God, not the soul.
Our soul is our mind, emotions, and will. It does not sound to me like the soul leaves the body, but rather it dies, or ceases to know what is going on, until the return of Christ. The Apostle Paul gave these verses to assure people their loved ones would not be forgotten, and would be resurrected when Christ returns. He was comforting them.
The verses indicating we pass from death to life, is based on our awareness. When we die we have no further awareness until the last trumpet call, and Christ returns to awaken us to life everlasting. Therefore it does make sense that believers do pass from death to life, because we have no idea how much time has passed.
Ecclesiastes 9:5 tells us this:
5 For the liuing know that they shall die: but the dead know not any thing, neither haue they any more a reward, for the memorie of them is forgotten.
To add to the many verses referring to death as sleep, the story of Christ raising Lazarus from the dead shows us that even the disciples were confused initially when Jesus said he was dead.
The verses above are clear about what happens to our bodies when we die, and soul when we die.
The only ones who will not experience death, are the Christians who are alive when Christ returns.
However, the following verses cause us to ponder it even more, especially the very well-known verse about the thief on the cross who died alongside Jesus. The only plausible explanation is that the comma should be placed after the word today, instead of after the word thee. It changes the meaning, to explain Jesus is making the promise today, and not that the thief would be in paradise today.
Once again, referring to the story about the rich man and Lazarus, the following verse makes us wonder where is the location of Abraham’s bosom, and what it means to go there? What is the difference between that, and being buried like the rich man was?
In this verse, Paul is saying to die is to be with Christ, which implies there is no waiting period.
The good news is that as Christians we know Christ has overcome death on our behalf, even if we do not have a complete understanding of how long we sleep, or if there is any spiritual awareness after our spirit departs.
A very sombre warning is in Hebrews 9:27 for the non-believers.
God is not the author of confusion, therefore any confusion we have when it comes to interpreting the bible, is based on our own limited understanding. If we remain humble, faithful and diligent, we will gradually understand more of God’s incredible plan.
As far as the many near death experiences recounted by people, we have no way of verifying what they say.
But for those who say they were reunited with loved ones, the bible does not support such claims. The bible does not describe bright lights, gardens, meadows with flowers etc.
However the mind, and especially the sub-conscious mind can have very vivid dreams when traumatized, deprived of oxygen, or given cocktails of drugs. Therefore what people see, and believe happened might have been a vivid dream.
Some of the accounts seem to be genuine, and others seem to be contrived. We do know there is a very active spirit world around us. We are warned to never attempt to contact the dead, or enter into a spirit world that could have demonic spirits.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
A skimmer scam has now become another thing to be aware of, and to deter. After learning to discern fake calls and emails from CRA, Amazon, shipping companies, and banks, this is an even more insidious, and invasive trick.
RFID tracking has been used legitimately in businesses for years. It is used for inventory management, asset tracking, and security.
For inventory, it allows businesses to track the location, and movement of inventory in real time thus reducing time, labour, and errors. It is especially useful in retail, so they know when stock levels are low on certain products.
For asset tracking, RFID tags can be attached to valuable assets, tools, equipment, and even vehicles. This helps protect against theft, misplacement, and disorganization.
When it comes to security, RFID chips can be embedded into employee access badges, if there is sufficient reason to restrict and monitor access to a building.
Supply chain management has used this technology to track products from manufacturing, to shipping, movement, and purchases of inventory throughout the system. It is also used in healthcare, and pharmaceuticals to track medications, and patient records.
As with all things that are useful, and help to organize complex systems, there can also be ways the technology is exploited. There is a whole new genre of high tech crooks, taking advantage of this type of technology.
The scam is carried out through RFID skimming, using a card reader. All they have to do is get close to you, and they can read information off your credit and debit cards. Both credit and debit cards now have embedded microchips. The contactless payment, or tap feature on a debit card, is what makes it most vulnerable to RFID skimming.
Radio frequency identification (RFID) involves the use of radio waves to read and capture information on embedded computer chips. Thieves can use small portable readers, to capture the information from the embedded computer chips without the victim knowing, and without them taking the card out of their wallet.
This information can then be used to make online purchases, or to make counterfeit cards. Some sources claim the risk is overstated because the criminal has to get close to the card, and apparently the information is encrypted to make it more difficult to read.
People are told to avoid crowds, public transport, and areas where there is a likelihood of card skimming. It is also worth noting that not all cards have RFID technology. The older cards with the magnetic stripe are less vulnerable.
This has brought another consumer product for specialized wallets that supposedly prevent the skimming. However, if the wallets are made of plastic, or polymers, they are not likely to be effective.
Leather wallets do not prevent RFID skimming, unless they are lined with foil, or have copper infused fabrics, or carbon fibre sheets. A quick check on Amazon shows RFID wallets ranging from $12-$60.
For RFID protection, you need metal. Whether you decide to wrap your cards with aluminum foil, or buy a special wallet, it is the metal that blocks radio waves. Metal is a good conductor of electricity, and will reflect or absorb the radio waves, preventing them from having access to your cards.
Metal is not 100% safe, depending on the power of the RFID reader, the proximity to your wallet, as well as the thickness of the metal surrounding your cards.
An idea is to use one or two metal business card holders for your cards, depending on how many cards you carry. They are small, compact, cheap, easy to open and close, and each one easily holds four cards. I have used one for years, and still have the same one.
The other tip is to put the card holder in a location on your person, not in a handbag. If you put it in a non-traditional location, the RFID reader may miss it. An inside breast pocket, or a small waist bag for the card holder, are not as typical places for wallets to be carried, compared to handbags for women, and back pockets for men.
Although there are claims this method of skimming and scamming is overstated, we can be sure that if it is possible, and already being done, it will only get more sophisticated, not less. I have heard many people talk about having this happen, without them knowing about it.
One woman in BC said their credit card was read, and then used for multiple purchases in Toronto. She and her husband believed it happened when her husband was travelling in BC. Neither one of them had been to Toronto, and were shocked to see all the charges from Toronto, to include multiple Uber and taxi rides.
During this conversation, several other women talked about similar incidents. This was just a random conversation in a local store, so it became clear to me that credit card information was somehow being intercepted without the person’s awareness.
Fortunately the use of metal, or special wallets is a fairly simple protection. The main thing to take note of is that not all wallets being sold, are effective.
In the meantime, we will have to check periodically to see if some mastermind develops an RFID reader that can penetrate metal.
This article was originally written in June. It is now December, and it appears the RFID skimmers are becoming stronger, and more prevalent. Apparently many of the wallets, and/or aluminum foil is not always adequate, because the RFID skimmers can be cranked up.
Many of the wallet sales claim to protect the cards, but for the most part they have not been tested. On Reddit various people have tested their cards inside the protective wallets, and found them to be ineffective.
You may read about faraday cages, which is named after Michael Faraday, the scientist who invented the technology in 1836. Faraday cages work on the principle of electrostatic induction. They are made of a conductive material that blocks the electromagnetic fields by distributing the electrical charges around the exterior. The electrons end up being redistributed, thus cancelling each other and protecting the interior.
There are many types of faraday cages, to include microwave ovens, the shielding on electronic cables, and various types of boxes, key fob holders, laptop bags, and wallets. A quick look on Amazon shows a wide variety of sizes, and uses for this technology.
Since crooks use RFID skimmers to read key fobs as well, so they can steal cars that have a keyless entry – a faraday cage key holder is probably a very good idea.
I suppose we all have to do a risk evaluation, and determine what kind of best practices we can implement to protect keys, gates, cards, and the devices we use on a daily basis. When I first learned about this, I did not realize the RFID skimmers could target passports, driver’s licenses, and transit cards as well.
Apparently criminals can quickly install RFID skimmers on ATM machines, and even self check-outs. It is advisable to use ATM’s during times the bank is open.
Without becoming totally paranoid, and depending on where you live, this is a topic to be aware of, and take measures to protect ourselves.
Just a decade ago, we did not see that many phishing scams. We might get targeted once in six months. Now we are getting phishing emails, phone calls, and text messages on a daily basis. As criminal technology becomes more sophisticated, we can expect to be subjected to more scams.
Keep a close eye on all of your accounts. Never respond to unsolicited texts, emails, or phone calls. When dealing with accounts, always be sure to be the one who is initiating the contact or login. Keep in mind, if someone is contacting you, they want something from you. When it comes to accounts and personal information, we are the ones who control what we do with our own information, not someone else. Once again, it is all about boundaries.
Don’t respond to enquiries or random job offers, or online surveys. After awhile you will notice patterns. A year or so ago, there were frequent CRA scam attempts. A few months ago, it was Amazon. Just this past week or so, I have been getting texts with remote job offers showing the Indeed logo. The text tells you to press Yes if interested. Even if you are interested in a remote job offer, do not respond. Go to a legitimate job posting site, and see what is there. Organizations do not usually send job offers to random people who are not looking for a job.
The risk of being scammed is increasing, so vigilance must also increase. It is like those trollers are out fishing, and they are doing what they can to bait, and hook us. I hope they get caught.
In recent years there has been a burgeoning glamorization of van life, giving the impression it offers endless freedom, and a utopian-like, albeit nomadic existence. It has developed into a lifestyle with a large following.
We all have different ideas of what an idyllic life is, and for me, I know van life would be a disaster. The thought of driving around all the time, sleeping in Walmart parking lots, or in the middle of nowhere, is not the least bit appealing. I would rather walk, fly, or stay put – as opposed to spending all day and night in a vehicle.
Suddenly you have no real bathroom, or kitchen, or space around you, with just a few square feet to cram all your belongings. You still need food, dishes, rain gear, tools, batteries, laptop, and other gear. You can drive to locations with wide open spaces, but you can do that without living in a van.
I would think it would be difficult to keep it clean and organized. If you go out and get wet and muddy, you will probably track it inside. To clean the floors, and food crumbs would mean pulling everything out, and then reorganizing it. The more organized, the better, and ideally everything, especially food, and trash would be kept in sealed containers.
Grizzly bears can, and do get inside campers and vans if they are hungry, habituated to humans, and smell food inside. In grizzly bear country, it would be a good idea to take all food out at night and hang it in a tree. This too requires caution.
I knew a woman who was out on a group kayaking trip. They dutifully hung large dry bags with the food in a tree. In the morning when they were packing up, they inadvertently lost control of it, and she nearly got taken out by a solid seventy-five pound pack of food, falling from a tree.
People who describe this lifestyle live in fear of getting a knock on the door in the middle of the night, and told to leave immediately. Or else they fear being attacked while they try to sleep. They have to be on the alert for wild animals, and in some locations – poisonous snakes. They need a supply of fresh water at all times, and do not have the space to carry more than a few gallons.
They need to have a game plan if they do feel threatened, or if they get injured while in a remote location. So they have to keep track of cell phone service, and know basic first aid. When in remote areas they should not leave the vehicle without a locator beacon, especially if there are pets in the vehicle. They rely on the owner to survive.
Some van-lifers sleep with one eye open, or even opt to sleep in the front seat with the keys in the ignition. They might be close to nature in some cases, but they are also vulnerable, especially those who are alone, or boon docking in the desert somewhere.
If someone breaks in while they are away from the vehicle, all of their belongings, and basic necessities, are inside the van. It would be worse yet if the entire vehicle was stolen, especially if they went for a walk in a remote location. They would have to insure, and find ways to secure their belongings, especially higher ticket items like generators, laptops, and e-bikes. One woman described having two e-bikes stolen three times over a period of about six months, while camping in standard campgrounds.
They would have to be careful of fires, and carbon monoxide when cooking, or turning on heat inside. RV’s and campers are built for cooking inside, but vans that are altered to live in, may not have the proper ventilation.
There are situations where people make a plan to travel for a year, or live in a van for a summer to save for University. Or they might have a home base, and travel in a van for periods of time.
Circumstances can make all the difference in the world. There are those who do it temporarily with a solid exit plan, and other places to live, versus those who sell everything to live in a van forever.
In most cases, at least with all the YouTuber’s who extoll the virtues of van life, they almost always have pets as well. They travel with dogs and cats, which I suppose is understandable for the companionship, as well as the reality that if they have pets, they have no choice but to take them along.
That means taking care of the pet, making sure they get exercise, and so on. They may need to go to a vet, or they might be afraid of weather, noises etc. If the person has a cat, they need kitty litter.
Living in a van with food, pet food, human food, and trash, tends to attract rodents, which can chew on electronic components under the hood, or dashboard. Being inside a van with mice or rats running around in the middle of the night, would put me over the deep end.
Taking a shower, and finding a suitable place to park, and sleep each night seems to be the main challenges. In addition, there is always a risk of the vehicle breaking down.
They also have to keep cool in the heat of the summer, and stay warm in the winter. They constantly need water, and a way to dispose of waste.
One of the main aspects of van life promotion, is that it saves money. However, in my very limited opinion, and without the experience of having tried it, I just don’t see it.
In addition to all the fuel, depreciation, wear and tear on the vehicle, repairs, and the upfront cost of getting the van ready to live in – it seems like a major expense for something with a limited shelf life, and steady depreciation.
Many people are incentivized by the possibility of YouTube earnings. If they get a certain number of subscribers, they earn money. They can also get all kinds of free stuff, if they have a significant number of followers, and agree to do reviews.
It is kind of ironic, because even though they were trying to escape the entrapments of having stuff, some of them get all kinds of free stuff to review. One woman had everything from beds, to portable toilets, water testers, solar fans, and crank washing machines to promote.
On top of all that, you cannot save money by batch cooking and freezing food if you live in a van. If you live in a house or apartment, you can watch for sales, and buy food on sale. You can make large batches of soup or stew, and freeze them in portions.
You can budget food costs, and reduce the cost of each meal to a fraction of what they would cost compared to using pre-packaged foods in small amounts. You can also bake your own bread, and use slow cooking grains, and lentils that are high in nutrients, and low in cost.
We all know that glossy packaged, and highly processed food is the most expensive, and least nutritious. We also know that if you are on the road a lot, you are more likely to stop for snacks, and coffee at drive-throughs. It all adds up, just like all the fuel costs would add up, day by day.
Even for those who do not live in a van, if you go out and buy a Starbuck’s latte every day, it will end up costing you around $5 a day, which is $150.00 a month.
The laundry and shower costs must be factored in. For those who go to truck stop showers, it is $16-$20 for a shower. Laundromats have to make a profit, so the cost per load is likely to be around $5. For those who choose to stay in private or government campsites, depending on the vehicle, the cost is $30-$100+ per night.
If they choose to get a gym membership as a place to exercise or shower, they have to pay the membership fees. They also have to drive a certain distance to find a Planet Fitness, or whatever franchise they have a membership with.
Some people will claim they came to the conclusion all their “stuff” did not make them happy. So they get rid of it all at 10 cents on the dollar. After a trial period and the realities of living in a van, they often conclude van life is not for them. Then they have to buy household items all over again. The other alternative is to put everything in storage, and have to pay the storage fees.
It is true, stuff does not make us happy. But it is helpful to have the things you need to cook, clean, fix things, garden, and so on. It may not make us happy, but it is nice to have things handy in order to make life easier.
Another major drawback is that you cannot garden while living a nomadic lifestyle. Even if you only have a small balcony, you can still grow a lot of plants. Many condos have a community garden space. The lack of a garden space would be a huge drawback for me, because watching things grow and bloom, is very rewarding. Plus you can grow kale, lettuce and swiss chard, and have fresh salad greens by the end of May.
I am no financial guru by any means, not even close. But I do know how easy it is to spend money. We all make many foolish financial decisions over the course of a lifetime.
However, some people are not only frugal, but they are well aware of how to save or invest money. Good financial management is a blessing for those who have the innate capabilities. Otherwise we face many struggles, just to survive.
I was watching a few YouTube videos about a nurse who quit her job to live, and travel in a truck and camper, at age 60. She has two medium size dogs to take care of.
She seems to like the travelling and lifestyle, even though she has had some scary hair raising experiences. Hopefully she will not encounter any lunatics. She has gone into some very remote areas in the middle of the desert, in order to find peace, solitude and tranquility.
Some people have a higher tolerance for risk. As far as I am concerned, if the wrong person came along in such an isolated spot, with ulterior motives, what could she do? You are at the mercy of the isolation you crave. Even a fall or injury while out walking, or if the vehicle broke down, leaving you without air conditioning, it could be fatal.
The worst fear for me would be other humans. If you are surrounded by them, you can be pretty sure they are not all crazy, therefore you would get help if one of them was crazy.
But if you are alone in the middle of the desert, and a crazy person with a nearby meth lab happens to come across you – then what? It would be way too easy for someone with ulterior motives to see you as an opportunity. I always think – why make it easy for someone to knock you off, and get rid of you, so no one ever finds you?
Life has many risks, and without risks, we would be bored to death. And admittedly, our competencies and strengths vary a fair bit too. Some people have lived in the wilderness alone for years, even a lifetime without meeting with foul play.
A well-known van life story that went terribly awry, is the Gabby Petito case. As they filmed the fairy tale romance, who would have believed it would end so tragically? She made the mistake of choosing the wrong man to get engaged to, and travel with.
Travelling with another person in a confined space for days, and weeks on end would be far more stressful than if you lived together in a house. Typically relationships are structured so that one or both go to work each day, and get a break from each other.
The added stress of trying to make a living, and present an image on social media, could easily push people to the breaking point.
Social media influencers have risen to become a high risk category for accidents, becoming victims of crime, poor choices, and mental health challenges.
Back in the sixties, there was a pejorative attitude toward those who were bent on “keeping up with the Joneses”. It was an idiom describing those who attempted to match or surpass the material possessions, and image of wealth among their neighbours.
Social media has created a whole new brand of this idiomatic concept. It not only requires the surpassing of an image, but the oneupmanship of an entire genre, involving people on a global scale, not just a neighbourhood.
Social media is all about image, and oftentimes it is not a true reflection of romance, happiness, or the perfect life. The more immersed in it, the more pressure they put on themselves, which can be disastrous. The greater the gulf between image and reality, the deeper the pit they can fall into.
You will notice that most of the wilderness stories where people live in the mountains, or somewhere very remote, they are usually living in a cabin, not in a van. They have a system of gathering and storing wood, preserving food, cooking a big pot of food, hunting, gathering, gardening, raising chickens etc.
The idea of staying put so you can get organized, defend yourself if you have to, and demonstrate a stake in where you are located, makes far more sense to me. People lived on the land without vehicles for thousands of years. We have only had vehicles since around 1908.
If the earth has been inhabited for around 6000 years, it means just 117 of those years, were lived by people who had vehicles. Of course there are still many locations throughout the world that still do not have vehicles.
Therefore in all of history, just 1.95% of life on earth has relied on vehicles to survive. It stands to reason that we can survive without vehicles, and even though they have provided much convenience, should we rely on them to live in? Probably not.
Another so-called faux truism I have difficulty with, is when people say a person who died while hiking, camping, back country skiing, or doing something they enjoyed – is said to have died while doing something they loved. Like “Oh well, that makes it all okay, and romanticized”. In my opinion, it is little more than a simplistic platitude.
I can understand when people say they believe their loved one would not have wanted to be seriously maimed or incapacitated for life. Therefore they would have chosen death, over being in a vegetative state, or a quadriplegic.
Oftentimes people have those discussions with family members, and will readily say – “If there is no brain activity, or chance of recovery, pull the plug.” It is not euthanasia, or suicide. It is the acceptance of what has happened, knowing some things are worse than death.
If you really think about it, how many people who are freezing to death, or have fallen into a crevasse while climbing a mountain, would tell themselves, it is all okay because they are doing something they love? They love the mountains and the great outdoors, but they did not intend to fall, or freeze to death. Chances are, they regret their choices once they realize it is going to cost them their life.
If they love the water, and go out sailing, and they capsize and sink the boat, the same thing applies. They loved the experience of sailing, not the accident. So it goes with all accidents, extreme weather, avalanches and unexpected trauma. Those are the things you don’t want to happen.
To put it in perspective, not long ago, during a joyful family festival in Vancouver, a crazy person drove into the crowd, killing and injuring multiple people.
One would expect that to be a low risk, fun family outing, as it was intended to be. No one would say, “Oh well, at least they died while doing something they loved”. If they had known such a horrific thing would happen, they would have stayed home.
I do not think anyone sets out on any journey or outing expecting it will be their last day. Whether they are doing something they love or not, is irrelevant. Death was not part of the plan.
Recently in the news, an elderly woman was stabbed to death while gardening outside her home. She probably loved gardening, but to say “at least she died doing something she loved”, would be callous, and ridiculous. Who expects to die while out gardening? If she knew there was a lunatic with a knife, roaming around the neighbourhood, she would have stayed inside, and locked all the doors, and windows.
In Calgary a couple of years ago, another elderly woman who was outside on her own property gardening, was killed by a neighbours pack of pit bulls. She too, was doing something she loved – yet it is no consolation. In fact the more innocent the person, and the more unexpected the violence – the worse it is.
We cannot eliminate all risk, and some things are so out of the blue, no one could even guess such a thing would happen.
It seems to me that we cannot predict the timing of our death. We can only create a balance between risk, and living life to the fullest.
Getting back to living in vans, or other vehicles long term, there are ways to make it safer. People can still do a certain amount of hunting and gathering for food, such as fishing, picking berries, going to local farmers for fresh eggs, and going to farmer’s markets for fresh vegetables. No doubt it is doable, and can be quite safe.
I think the greatest risk is for those who are alone. Solo hiking, solo camping, solo kayaking, solo mountain climbing, and all the other solo adventures, are the riskiest.
Certain locations are high risk, such as around bodies of water, slippery slopes, foreign countries where you may not know the risks, places with sudden weather changes, and so on.
Regardless of the tolerance for risk, and even for the many stupid things we all do in our lives, no one deserves to die. They don’t expect to die. They may be doing something they love – but the dying is not part of the equation when they embark on their journey.
Although it sounds like van life can be a way to save money temporarily, it does not seem like it would be good over the long term. Even for the short term, it might not be safe, depending on the vehicle, and where you plan to go.
Saving and investing money requires stability, predictability, work, consistent routines, overcoming or avoiding addictions, discipline, (which is easier if you have stability and predictability), and time.
Not everyone is highly motivated to make a lot of money, but it is in our human nature to be able to take care of ourselves to the best of our abilities. Most of us do not want to be a burden to anyone, let alone those we love.
I hope people who embark on their adventures, weigh the risks carefully, and listen to their intuition along the way. The family of a person who goes missing could face years, or a lifetime of searching, wondering, and grieving.
In recent years we have heard and read a lot about the gut brain connection. Now there is a significant amount of research being done on the gut biome, and its effect on the immune system.
The AIP or autoimmune protocol diet is a six month diet that requires the elimination of certain foods, and food groups for a period of six months.
The foods to be eliminated are entire food groups: all dairy, all grains, all seeds and nuts, all beans and legumes, all processed foods, refined foods, all gluten, eggs, and all nightshade vegetables. Potatoes, tomatoes, bell peppers, red spices derived from peppers, eggplant, and goji berries.
After almost four months of the diet, I decided it might be a good idea to eliminate certain food groups for a period of time, but the lack of variety, starts to wear thin. This is especially so for breakfast, because none of the traditional breakfast foods were allowed on this diet.
However, it has been worthwhile, and I think there is much to be learned, and much more research to be done.
The researcher I listened to recently, claimed that probiotic supplements in pill form are more detrimental than anything. He based his findings on a large group who had taken antibiotics, and were trying to restore gut health. They found probiotic supplements to be the worst. High fibre foods, and fermented foods were the best.
He went on to explain that it was the lining of the gut that is closely linked to the immune system. Damage to the lining leads to inflammation, because the lining is supposed to create a barrier to prevent leaky gut syndrome.
Therefore, it is the grains, in particular the ancient grains with all the nutrients and fibres intact, along with fermented foods that will contribute the most to restoring the gut biome. Also a variety of whole foods, fruits, vegetables. lean meats etc. help contribute to the trillions of microorganisms that protect the lining of the gut.
My take on it is that it is not so much the food, especially healthy food like tomatoes that cause problems with the gut leading to inflammation, but rather it is the importance of a high fibre, high nutrient diet with a daily intake of some quality fermented food.
Most people can get fermented food by eating plain yoghurt. But for those who are sensitive to dairy, they may want to choose other fermented foods like sauerkraut. I tried several types of sauerkraut, and found the Oak Barrel brand to be the best as far as taste, mildness, and freshness. You can find it in the cooler section at thegrocery store.
Also Stubbs full sour pickles that are available in major grocery stores, are fermented. Many brands of olives are also fermented, but not all.
If you do some research, you will find all kinds of fermented food. Apparently although Miso paste is very high in probiotics, those microorganisms are destroyed by heat. So Miso soup will not have the same value as unheated fermented foods. You can use the Miso paste to make a salad dressing, without losing the probiotic advantage.
If you research foods high in fibre, we tend to think of whole fruits and vegetables, which do have fibre, especially if eaten with the peels on. But the highest fibre foods are found in the grains, especially chia and flax seeds.
Lentils, chickpeas and split peas are also very high in fibre. Kidney beans, black beans and soybeans are also very good sources of fibre and nutrients.
Although the AIP diet helps identify healthy food choices, it eliminates too many high nutrient foods for too long, in my opinion.
However any dietary changes that help to switch to nutrient dense grains, legumes, and whole foods – is a step in the right direction. A healthy immune system protects us from infection, inflammation, and autoimmune disorders, so it is a worthwhile endeavour.
The Miriam Webster dictionary describes a-millennialism as “the denial that an earthly millennium of universal righteousness and peace will either precede or follow the second advent of Jesus Christ.”
Postmillennialism is defined as ” the theological doctrine that the second coming of Christ will occur after the millennium.”
Premillennialism is defined as ” The view that Christ’s return will usher in a future millennium of Messianic rule mentioned in Revelation.”
Recently I was listening to an intelligent bible teacher talk about these different views. He claimed the early church embraced the a-millennial point of view. This raised a red flag for me because my understanding is that the early church had a predominant belief in the premillennial view.
The a-millennial view could loosely be described as an early church belief, however it was not popularized until 300 years after the Apostles. It came about as a result of the teachings of St. Augustine and Calvinism.
We should be wary of all isms, because they tend to be man-made, and are more accurately defined as political ideologies. Nevertheless it seems all of Christendom is divided into these different belief systems.
The way they get around what it says in Revelation 20:1-7, is to claim it is spiritual in meaning, and is not to be taken literally:
They claim these verses are spiritual, not literal, and therefore they cancel them out?
When you consider the entire Bible is spiritual because God is Spirit – what does that tell us about how they interpret the entire Bible?
Part of the problem with the a-millennial view is that they are focusing only on Revelation chapter 20, and claim it is the only place in the Bible where the thousand year reign is mentioned. However a peaceful reign is mentioned in other locations as well.
Even though Revelation is not in chronological order, it does not cancel out the millennial reign. And even though the thousand year reign is mentioned six times in chapter 20, and the thousand years is not located in other places in the bible, there is reference to the millennial reign in other locations, as being a time of peace.
In addition to the fact Satan is not currently bound, historically, and to date – there is war somewhere in the world. There has never been a time of global peace, even though there have been times of partial peace. War will not be abolished until Christ returns.
When has there been a time when wild animals were peaceful? When has there been a time when Satan was bound? As much as the a-millennialists and post millennialists claim we are in the midst of the millennium, our own observations should clue us in to the fact we are not experiencing peace, or an absence of evil influences.
We are in the midst of sophisticated deceptions, upheaval, uncertainty, spiritual warfare, and conflict. More importantly, we are in the midst of the great apostasy. We must be prudent.
From a common sense perspective those familiar with the bible know that Satan has been roaming the earth since he was cast out of heaven. When has Satan ever been bound in all of history? How can they claim we are living in the millennial kingdom now when clearly Satan is not bound?
Many of the arguments to support doctrinal deviations will claim the bible is to be taken spiritually, not literally. The dispensationalists who also lean toward a different Gospel based on the teaching of John Darby in the 1800’s will insist the entire bible is to be taken literally.
Our basic reading comprehension has taught us the value of many different figures of speech, and metaphors, along with the ability to differentiate literalism from the figures of speech. The bible is spiritual, and contains figures of speech to illustrate, and help enhance our understanding. It also contains many literal truths that are to be taken at face value.
Therefore all of the arguments leaning toward one or the other are moot points.
One of the biggest problems with those who tamper with God’s word, is they mix truth with falsehood. If we recognize a doctrine that has many falsehoods, we might reject all of it, including some of the truth.
If we study and accept false doctrine, allowing ourselves to be deceived, we might accept all of it as truth, when in fact the doctrine has been altered to deliver some truth, with multiple falsehoods. Dispensational doctrine does teach and embrace the millennial reign of Christ.
They also teach a literal interpretation only, as if that is even possible. They teach there is a separation between Israel and the church. They teach that the bible has been divided into seven dispensations. And they teach the church will be secretly raptured prior to the second coming of Christ.
The dispensational beliefs deviate from what it actually says in the bible, in multiple ways. But they also reiterate certain truths, which makes it palatable to Christians who are not familiar with what it actually says in the bible.
The dispensationalists frequently use the following verse to support their false doctrine, however they would be wise to compare it to the verse in Hebrews 4:12.
15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
Dividing the word of truth does not equate to dividing the entire bible into seven dispensations. Nor should it divide the body of Christ into two separate bodies – Israel and Gentiles. Nor should it divide the second coming of Christ into two different events.
Ephesians 2:14:
14 For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us;
By no means do I consider myself to be an educator or bible teacher. I am sharing what it says in the bible, and to some degree am also incorporating aspects of deceptions and snares I fell into as a result of not reading the bible for myself. It is testimony to how any immersion into false doctrine is to walk and stumble in darkness, not the light of God.
Postmillennialism is the belief that the millennial reign will occur before the second coming of Christ. This appears to be based on the idea that the Gospel will be preached so effectively throughout the world, it will lead to global peace. Once again, this is placing the revelation of Jesus Christ onto man, not Christ.
We are supposed to share God’s word. But we can never claim to be the ones to bring about peace, or the millennial reign of Christ.
Man has never achieved peace in this world. Nor has man taken away the sin of the world, which is why there has been so much war and conflict. We must rely on Christ to overcome the world, not man.
When we examine isms and their origins, we will find they come from man not God. We can sit and listen to those manmade isms without learning a thing. They will rationalize, deny, excuse, and lie. It may sound harsh, but that is the nature of man.
It is made to appear that we must choose between the three definitions. Yet of the three, it is dispensationalism that believes there will be a thousand year reign of Christ taken literally from Revelation verse 20. However, dispensationalism is rife with false doctrine in other areas.
Very few preachers are teaching about historic premillennialism, which is what the early church believed before St. Augustine. Historic premillennialism did not contain the seven dispensations, the pre-tribulation rapture, the separation of the church, and various other Darby/Scofield teachings.
The bible warns us not to be deceived. If we reject a-millennialism and post millennialism, it does not mean we should embrace dispensationalism. Read the bible for yourself without the preconceived notion of choosing which false doctrine to believe.
The bible tells us Christ will return. What can we expect when he does return?
What makes sense? Does it make sense to believe Satan was bound ages ago? Does it make sense to believe man will overcome the world, and the sin of the world?
God has a plan, and he is telling us what He has planned for us, and the rest of the world. We do not conform His plan to our way of thinking, or we fall into a trap.
Jesus was here the first time, to offer salvation to the sinners (all of us). He was here to teach, heal and preach the Gospel (the good news). He did so humbly, and without extravagances. He was hated, persecuted, betrayed, and ultimately put to death. After His death, He was resurrected, and went to heaven to be with God, until it is time for His return.
He is coming back as King, and Lord. When He does return, He will rule the earth, and put all of his enemies under his feet. This will be a battle and a victory like none other ever witnessed in the history of the world.
Jesus will fulfill God’s plan in stages, as outlined in the bible. The whole world will enter into a time of peace, rest, and restoration. When he returns, first the dead in Christ will be resurrected, and the believers who are still alive, will be caught up to meet him in the air. We will return to the earth, and rule with Christ for a thousand years. This is the millennial reign.
After the millennial reign, the rest of the dead will be resurrected and face the great white throne of judgement. Those who are not written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, will be thrown into the lake of fire (the second death). During this time frame, Satan will be let loose for awhile, and another great battle will follow.
After the final battle and complete defeat of Satan, the new heavens and new earth will be ushered in. We will live with, worship, and commune with God for all eternity.
The differences between the millennial reign and the new heavens and earth, are significant. During the millennial reign, the earth will be more like the Garden of Eden, but the nations, and the layout of the earth will be as it was when God created it. Although it is a time of rest, peace, and restoration, the sanctification is not complete until Satan is defeated for he final time. Death and sin must be overcome.
The new heavens and new earth will not have any darkness – no night. God will be the light. There will be no sea. The new Jerusalem that comes down from heaven will be a magnificent and glorious place of worship. We will partake in, and experience the tree of life, and the living water. There will be no more sorrow, no more tears, no more death.
I believe the thousand year reign as mentioned six times in Revelation verse 20, is meant to be taken literally. It should not be diminished, removed, denied, or described as metaphor. It is not worded as a metaphor, or figure of speech. In fact it is repeated six times just to reinforce it, in case we missed it the first time.
Is it spiritual? Yes of course it is. All scripture is spiritual – it is the word of God, and the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
First and perhaps foremost, Canada is consistently among the top ten safest countries. The list includes Iceland, Australia, Canada, Ireland, Switzerland, New Zealand, Germany and Norway.
A recent list in Forbes adds Japan, Denmark, Portugal, Spain, UK, Netherlands and Sweden. In fact Canada has been cited as the number one safest country in 2021, and has since fallen to number three.
Not that I have anything against the US, or any country for that matter, but notably the US is not on the list. My guess is because of the many mass shootings that occur almost daily, but of course there could be many other reasons.
In sharp contrast, a percentage of other countries are much less fortunate, even though most of their citizens are innocent victims of circumstance. Those countries include Pakistan, Sudan, Lebanon, Venezuela, Haiti, Afghanistan, Ukraine, and Zimbabwe.
If you look at a map, most of the least safe countries are located in Africa.
The World Population Review for 2025 also has a list of the least safe countries to include Sudan, South Sudan, Congo, Mali, Somalia, Central African Republic, Burkina Faso, Nigeria, Ethiopia, Niger, Cameroon, Eritrea, Chad, Burundi, Libya, South Africa, Uganda, Lesotho, Guinea, Kenya, Zimbabwe, and Egypt.
The World Population Review on the safest countries according to the Global Peace Index rates countries covering a large swath of the entire world and includes the US, Mexico, Philippines, Vietnam, China, Iran, Turkey, India, France, Italy, India, Columbia, Yemen, and many more. Some of the countries on this list are rather surprising.
Individual experiences for travellers vary quite a bit because all of the locations could be safe in the right circumstances, and even the safest country has crime, and random acts of violence.
Canada overall is a peaceful nation. Those who own guns for the most part are people in remote locations, on farms, and hunters.
However we cannot overlook the fact Canada has had fentanyl labs, has a drug crisis, and when drug dealers are busted, they often turn up an arsenal of illegal weapons. Canada may be safe, but we are by no means pure.
We do have our fair share of crime, especially in Toronto, and Vancouver, with a disturbing trend of crime in more remote locations.
I lived on Hada Gwaii, and during that time there was a blissful reprieve from crime. The only crime I knew of while there, was a murder in the ball park more than twenty years ago. It was attributed to a domestic dispute.
In recent news, there was a murder on Haida Gwaii that has sparked national attention. Apparently it was drug related, and has led to many protests, and vigilante type reactions. A number of people have been forced to leave Haida Gwaii, and their houses were demolished. Their associates have been followed, and harassed.
Knowing what it is like in a small, close knit community with many ties, relatives, and knowledge of what goes on, not to mention the adverse effects of drug dealing in a small community, one can see why it is morphing into a major battle.
Perhaps the situation on Haida Gwaii represents a microcosm of the rippling effect of illicit drugs. The father of the young man accused of murder was convicted of dealing drugs when that child was just twelve years old. The father always maintained he was providing a service, supplying those who were seeking drugs. After living on Haida Gwaii for decades, they are banished by the community, not by law enforcement, or the courts.
When have we heard of the houses of the accused, and their close associates being bulldozed before there is a trial? I don’t recall many cases of houses being destroyed as a deterrent to crime.
They have their reasons though. People cannot hide their drug dealings, or their crimes, especially murder, in a small community. Word travels fast, and more than likely the victim has many advocates.
One of the things about island living is that in general people come and go by ferry. There is an airport in Sandspit, which also requires a short ferry ride to get there. It is possible to get there by boat, but the boat has to be large enough to cross Hecate Strait, which is quite a distance.
Because of how remote it is, the people who come and go, can be monitored. Even certain politicians were not welcome on Haida Gwaii. Now, with recent political shifts, they have even more autonomy, and say over what goes on. Therefore all people who live, or visit Haida Gwaii, should respect the laws, as well as the culture of the FN people there.
The case on Haida Gwaii involved a vehicle. The victim was intentionally run over, and a person has been charged with homicide. It has become a catalyst for community action, directed at those who are dealing drugs there.
In Vancouver we now have the aftermath of one of the worst mass tragedies involving a vehicle running over multiple people, killing eleven, and injuring at least twenty more.
The event was a Filipino festival called Lapu Lapu, which is a celebration to honour a Filipino hero with a motto to “teach the strength of a united people”.
It was a day of happiness, family celebration, sharing of food, fun, and common ground. For the most part, it was a carefree and relaxed family day with multiple vendors. It ended in tragedy.
The Lapu Lapu tragedy happened April 26th, 2025 shortly after 8 pm when people were leaving, or lined up at the food trucks before they closed for the night. Even though a percentage of people had already left, it was still very busy, just winding down.
The vehicle plowed through the unsuspecting crowd near the end of the festival. The accused was driving an Audi SUV. Shockingly, it had so much front end damage from hitting the bodies of people, it looked like it had been in a head on collision with a truck.
It sickened me to realize the damage to the vehicle was from unprotected bodies, including small children flying over the hood. In addition to the deaths, grief, and critically injured, all those who were present will be traumatized for life.
Although we are very fortunate to live in Canada, we have our share of tragedy. When a group of people at a festival is impacted to such an extent, we are forced to realize that we too, live among some very troubled individuals.
The shock over such a senseless act of violence carries mixed reactions. Knowing the man had mental health issues has many speculating he will be deemed not criminally responsible. Others believe he should be charged with multiple murders, attempted murders – and locked up for life.
At one time Canada did have the death penalty. The last execution was in 1962 when two men were executed by hanging. Surprisingly, there were 710 executions in Canada between 1867 and 1962. The death penalty was abolished in 1976.
In spite of the justified outrage over heinous crimes against innocent people, I have always been opposed to the death penalty for several reasons. The main reason is that of a Christian perspective, knowing Christ will be the ultimate judge.
Another reason is that the executioners, the families, the witnessing, the descriptions of their last meals, the frantic last minute stay of executions, etc. all seem like the theatre of the macabre.
And finally, there is always the chance the convicted killer will show remorse, and true repentance.
The ultimate test of our faith is found in forgiveness. Forgiveness is not immediate, and nor is it flippant. But rather it is a deep, and soul searching recognition of Christ’s forgiveness for our own sin, along with the sins of the world.
Although we do not have 100% assurance of being kept safe, we do have salvation through Christ as believers.
The Lord’s Prayer we have so often recited, both in public and in private brings comfort, consolation, and the quest for forgiveness, which frees the victims of the burden of judgement. Mathew 6:6-14 gives us the following instructions:
Recently I saw a quote that said “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow”. It’s true because every new day, the plants are emerging, peeking through, and before you know it they are ten inches tall.
With the skyrocketing food costs, even growing some leafy greens will save you paying three or four dollars for a head of lettuce, half of which might go bad before you use it.
Another popular trend is growing micro greens. I just started with the first tray to see how it goes. They are a couple inches tall now. The time from planting to harvest is only about three weeks. But there are a few drawbacks, mainly in the cost of the seeds. Plus for those who use grow lights eighteen hours a day, there is the added cost of electricity.
I am leaning toward growing micro greens in the winter only, and sticking to lettuce in the warmer months. Apparently lettuce can be grown indoors all winter as well. The micro greens might be a little over rated and trendy, but time will tell.
Now that it is spring, it is time to plant outdoors. In addition to seeing the garden grow, there is much to learn, especially if you start planting from seed.
The seeds themselves are so different. Some are so tiny you can barely see than, and others like peas and beans are the same size as what you use in cooking.
The garden hacks on YouTube have at least a thousand tips and ideas, from using toilet paper rolls to plant seedlings, to various types of mulches and watering systems.
One of the main concerns for gardeners is to keep cats out of the raised beds, and figuring out ways to deal with other pests.
The cat deterrents involve covering the garden with netting, and using citrus peels, as they hate the smell. They are also sensitive to essential oils, cinnamon bark, and certain plants like lavender and rue.
Many gardeners battle slugs, and create home made slug traps. Some suggest using cayenne pepper around all the plants, but I would not be inclined to do that because it has to be constantly reapplied and could upset the nutrient balance in the soil.
I have also read tips like soaking seeds in epsom salts, and using baking soda for pests. Once again, because these ideas introduce chemical alterations, I am not inclined to try them. In the past I did try baking soda on a plant, and it promptly killed the plant.
It seems that seeds have been growing in dirt since the beginning of time without scarification or epsom salts. Scarification is the tedious process of nicking each individual seed with a knife, in oder to hasten the process of germination.
The best thing for a garden of any sort, is to have good soil and drainage, with a healthy amount of natural fertilizer. Raised beds offer a little more frost protection, and the opportunity for setting up functional community gardens.
There is a continuous learning curve for the novice gardener. For the experienced gardener, they know what works, as well as what is readily available for them to use to enhance the garden, protect the plants, and replenish the soil.
In addition to the fresh produce, the beauty of the flowers, fresh air, the ongoing learning, a bit of exercise, there is the fact a garden attracts pollinators. Therefore is is good for the community at large.
Watching a garden grow teaches us patience. It gives us vitamin D without having to swallow a spoonful of lemon flavoured cod liver oil.
The smell of dirt, and the sound of happy little songbirds cheering you on, brings a sense of peace.
Although I make no claims to have gardening expertise, the most helpful information is in learning about companion planting. This vast array of information helps deter pests, in some cases attracting the pests to the companion plant so they don’t infest the produce.
In other cases the companion plant will repel the pests. Marigolds and nasturtiums are a couple of examples. In addition to finding plants that deter pests, and cats, you soon find out that certain plants will add nitrogen to the soil, and other will rob nitrogen. You learn about the benefits of planting certain things together, and avoiding others.
You soon find out that if you plant taller plants beside lettuce, they will provide some shade, which in turn prevents it from bolting early in the summer heat.
Every province in Canada has its growing season, with unique challenges. Every province has multiple microclimates, which will make a difference as to when you can plant, based on the last frost date in the area.
Some provinces, especially the prairies, are prone to getting hail storms, which not only wipes out large gardens, but entire crops in the fields.
But just as the quote says that planting a garden it to believe in tomorrow, it is all we can do. We cannot control the weather.
In spite of all the chance weather conditions, every province has prolific growth, from the wheat fields on the prairies, fantastic tomatoes, and apples in Ontario, orchards in BC’s interior, and potato farms on PEI – just to name a few.
Gardens, and crops in general require attention, and a certain amount of labour, from seed to harvest. Perhaps we are at a juncture in Canada, where we can appreciate what we can grow.
Whether we have a small space, or a vast tract of land – we can put it to use, and enjoy being a participant in sowing and reaping. Going back to the basics is forward moving, and rewarding. If we stop to listen, the birds and the bees will tell us so.
I saw a little known fact, which I have no way of verifying. It showed a picture of a bird that lives in Africa and Asia called the honeyguide bird. Apparently this bird will guide humans to the location of honey, in exchange for wax and larvae.
But here is the unverified clincher. It said that if you don’t reward the bird, instead of leading you to honey, it will lead you to a venomous snake. Now that’s the kind of revenge humans use. I thought birds were above such things!
For anyone who is in Africa or Asia starving in the wilderness, they ought to follow that little bird, and post what it does on social media.
It beats falling off a cliff trying to take a selfie!
The link between the health of the gut biome, and the immune system is central to our overall health. Whether the immune system is over reactive and erratic, as it is with autoimmune disorders, or weak, leaving us prone to colds and various infections, the gut biome is key.
There is no overnight cure, or probiotic in a pill form that you can take for instant results. The process of healing the gut takes months, not a few days of taking supplements, or eating dandelion greens.
Many things can alter or destroy the gut biome. One of the worst offenders is antibiotics, especially the chronic overuse of antibiotics.
Those who have chronic yeast infections, can be pretty sure something is off kilter with their gut biome. In fact, just like recurrent autoimmune flare ups, recurrent infections of any kind, are indicators of a gut biome disruption. People tend to focus on the specific body part that is affected, such as chronic bladder infections, by taking antibiotics, and drinking cranberry juice.
The gut biome is not only about the intestine, it is also about the liver, pancreas, gall bladder, and neurochemistry. In fact immune related health problems are systemic, not localized.
Years ago, my eye doctor told me that as time goes on, I will likely have more systemic autoimmune inflammatory disorders.
All medication affects the gut biome, just as all the food we ingest affects the health of our gut. There are trillions of bacteria in the gut, most of which contribute to a healthy gut. But there also has to be balance.
Where to begin? It is not a matter of adding one thing, and deleting another. Often we think we are eating a healthy diet, but it may not be as healthy as we think, especially if we are reacting to the proteins in dairy or gluten. For some people, these proteins are not a problem, but for others, there is an inflammatory response.
Having been plagued by an autoimmune eye condition for many years, I have tried a variety of things without much success. When I started researching the AIP diet, it seemed like it might be the answer.
The idea with the AIP diet is that you eliminate entire food groups for a period of six months. After six months, you decide what you are going to reintroduce into your diet, and what you will leave out. That way you can assess the response or physical reaction to each food you add.
I started the AIP diet at the end of January. It took a couple of weeks to eliminate what is on the list. Coffee seemed to be the worst as far as withdrawal, and changing habits. But after a week or two, it was no big deal.
To give a brief outline of what must be eliminated: Gluten and all grains, milk, eggs, and all dairy, all legumes, seeds, and nuts, all nightshade vegetables. Nightshade includes potatoes, eggplant, goji berries, tomatoes, bell peppers, and all spices made from peppers. You are also supposed to avoid processed food, sulphites, additives, and sugar. Alcohol is also to be avoided, which is not a problem because I gave up alcohol more than twenty years ago.
Like everything else, for some people, alcohol is not a problem in general. But for others, it is best to avoid it all together, especially if there is a genetic predisposition, or a background of early childhood trauma.
Though it sounds very restrictive, there are still many things you can eat. You can eat most fresh vegetables and fruit. Although regular potatoes are off limits, sweet potatoes and yams are okay. You can also eat most fish, chicken, lean pork, beef, etc.
Another key addition to the diet is to consume a certain amount of fermented foods. This includes olives (check for sulphites), sauerkraut (again, check the label to avoid additives), kombucha, kefir, and many others. If something is made in a vinegar brine, it may not be fermented, so it takes a bit of time to figure out what is actually fermented.
The most radical change is in what you can eat for breakfast. In the past I would eat an egg, sunflower flax toast, coffee, and a few cherry tomatoes. I thought it was a nutritious breakfast. However, once I started the AIP diet, there was not one thing I could keep as part of that breakfast routine.
Nor can you eat oatmeal, or any kind of cooked breakfast cereal, granola, etc. It brings clarity to how much we rely on various grains in our diet. I tend to avoid gluten free processed food, as it is often loaded with sugar, and other additives.
For breakfast, I started eating sardines or salmon to get the protein. Added to that, is fresh cucumber with chives or herbs, maybe an avocado, a couple tablespoons of sauerkraut, and a few olives.
I now drink a couple ounces of kombucha first thing in the morning, followed by oolong, or another type of loose leaf tea mix. Then I have a cup of Matcha, which is a Japanese powdered green tea.
Matcha is an interesting type of tea, supposedly with many antioxidants, and health benefits. But you have to be mindful that more is not better. I stick to one teaspoon a day. There are many items you can buy, like Matcha tea sets that cost $40-$50 dollars. But you don’t really need most of that.
I did buy a bamboo whisk, but realize now that any small whisk will do. You can drink it out of a bowl if you want, but I drink it out of a wide mug. You can also buy a flat bamboo spoon and strainer. Any small strainer will do, and you can use a teaspoon to flatten out the lumps.
You just place the strainer over the wide mug, add a teaspoon of Matcha, and press it through the strainer. After that you add an ounce or two of hot water and whisk it. Then you add the rest of the hot water.
Some people use a frother to make Matcha latte, but I have not tried the latte yet. It is a fairly mild tasting tea compared to some of the stronger tasting green teas, and if you add honey, you don’t need much, maybe a half a teaspoon.
The evening meal is not as much of a change as the breakfast is, because you can make chicken, fish, pork etc. and any vegetables you want to eat.
As far as results, one of the most notable changes was a reduction in shoulder and hip pain. I thought I had torn the rotator cuff in my left shoulder from lifting things. But it was all inflammations, because within two weeks on the diet, the shoulder pain was much better. Now, I hardly notice it.
It has now been three months, and the positive changes are well worth it. The only things I did not eliminate, are chia seeds, and flax added to smoothies with frozen berries.
After the six month period of time, I think I will reintroduce eggs and legumes. But I am pretty sure I will continue to avoid gluten and dairy.
Overall, I think the diet has many similarities to the Paleo diet, but with a few more restrictions during the six month gut healing phase.
As an additional note, you are also supposed to avoid OTC medications, to include all NSAIDs. In fact, any kind of medication can dramatically alter the gut biome. The only thing I take is a teaspoon of cod liver oil once a day, which is quite revolting because they added a lemon flavour to it, which in my opinion makes it worse. It is a far cry from those little bubble-like gel caps of cod liver oil. Apparently those are not good, because who knows how old they are? Plus cod liver oil is supposed to be refrigerated, and has a shelf life of just three months.
Although it is still to early to tell what the overall effects of this diet will be, I am glad to have discovered a comprehensive guideline to make these changes. I have already noticed some positive results, so it has been well worth it.
Once the gut health has significantly improved, obviously it is important to avoid falling back into old patterns. I love tomatoes, but I think I will continue to avoid them.
Our reactions to foods, and micronutrients is highly individual. Therefore, one person may react to tomatoes, when 80% of people do not.
The entire exercise of healing, and promoting a healthy gut, requires patience, and bodily awareness. I think the changes help increase energy, and better sleep.
Time will tell, as I am only half way through the six month elimination phase. For those with autoimmune disorders, or chronic inflammation – so far, I would recommend this diet. I only wish I had researched, and known about this diet sooner.
It seems like finally there is a solution, or a partial solution, to the complex autoimmune disruption. I feel very fortunate that the autoimmune problems I have experienced, are not totally debilitating.
But I know full well that out of the eighty or more autoimmune disorders adversely affecting the health of millions of people, some of those diseases are extremely debilitating. A few examples – giant cell myocarditis, MS, lupus, type 1 diabetes, and many others…
A recent horrifying spousal murder was captured on a 911 call in Cleveland. The victim was followed into her garage by her ex-husband. She was screaming at him to get out, and then she called 911 quickly giving them her address. She then screamed her ex husband’s name, and told him to stop. Gunshots were heard by the dispatcher, and then all went silent. The spouse was seen approaching, and leaving her house at the time of the murder.
The man was a 61 year old pharmacist who had just been fired from his job. The couple had only been divorced a few months. Apparently he was upset about having to move from a house to an apartment. The couple had two children, although their ages were not given.
One of the spooky things about this case, is that apparently this man’s father had killed his mother, and then turned the gun on himself. Often it is the people who should not have any guns, who seem to have an arsenal of them. Stay away from anyone who has an obsession with guns.
In another case, a woman who lived with her husband on a large tobacco farm turned winery, finally decided to leave the abusive relationship. She moved into town and got a job teaching disabled kids. A couple months later she was abducted and murdered. The couple had three children. Her husband and eldest son are suspects, but so far, no one has been charged.
There are so many similar stories, one could go on forever. It is not to say women are innocent when it comes to spousal murder, but they usually get someone else to do it. And statistically men are responsible for 90% of violent crimes. Although some people immediately point to abuse and violence toward men, and try to equalize it – the statistics do not support domestic violence as being equal between men and women.
Biologically men are much stronger, therefore if a fight to the finish begins, it is likely to end with her death, not his. How often do you ever hear of a woman strangling a man? Almost never. It requires a fair bit of sustained strength to strangle someone.
The central issues are loss of control, and loss of money, property and assets. Sometimes this is viewed as being very unfair, or a loss of what he believes he owns, and she does not deserve.
In the case of the woman who had been in an abusive relationship on a large property, turned into a winery, apparently the property had been in the family for several generations. They had grown tobacco initially, and then switched to grapes, with a thriving business. The couple had been married around twenty years. She met him when she was just sixteen, which is often a factor in very controlling relationships. After she left, she made it clear she wanted her share of the farm.
Her husband had threatened her many times. She told people he would kill her if she left. He also had at least a dozen guns. There was no way he was going to give up any portion of the property, including her. After all, it had been handed down to him in his family, not hers. Their son, was already planning to be the next successor, and was working and making a living off the farm as a young adult. The odds were stacked against her, regardless of what the laws say about matrimonial rights.
When I see or read about these tragic outcomes, I wonder how the woman could have kept herself safe. Some women take martial arts classes. Others will get a gun themselves, especially in the US.
The problem is, no one can be prepared every minute of the day. If they can be watched or tracked, it is easy to figure out routines, when they are alone, or going into, or coming out of work, the gym, and even hair appointments.
From what I have seen and read about the situations where the woman is murdered after leaving, I think it would be safer to move to a condo with a strong security system, as opposed to a house. It is much more difficult to get into a condo, and there are many more eyes, and ears to witness unwelcome guests.
If he does get inside the building, he still has to basically kick her door down, which would immediately alert the surrounding neighbours. She could take things a step further, and have a door put in that cannot be kicked down. Some doors are even bullet proof. She would be wise to be sure she is not in a ground floor apartment, or even the second or third floor. Some apartments can be accessed if a person is able to use the balconies, or fire escapes to climb up. The apartment selection should take all these things into consideration.
Years ago, a nurse I worked with told me a harrowing story. She was a gorgeous woman, who turned heads everywhere she went. But in her case, she had poor taste in men, and gravitated toward the bad boys. She had been dating a guy, and then got involved with his best friend. They were both rather unsavoury characters. The guy she had been dating had given her a car, and I think might have been paying for her apartment as well. When he found out about her involvement with his buddy, he was enraged.
The apartment she was living in was on the third floor. Late one evening, when she was home alone, the disgruntled boyfriend climbed up to the third floor of the building, onto her balcony, and entered her apartment. She said he was wearing black leather gloves, and she thought he was going to kill her. He beat her up, and then left. After that, she never stopped dating his buddy. She did eventually move on, but it was not enough of a scare to cause her to terminate both relationships. Some people have a lot of drama in their lives.
In a condo, if it is a higher floor, he cannot access windows, or the balcony. Therefore, the hallway or front door to the apartment, is the only possible entry point, if he does manage to get into the building. Even police, and ambulance cannot get into an apartment building unless someone opens the exterior door for them. Most people will not allow anyone to follow them in through an open door when they are coming or going. If the person does not have a key, and are not buzzed in by whoever they are visiting, they are not allowed in. It is an essential part of condo etiquette, and security.
In addition, a one way window film could be applied to windows facing the street, or alley, to prevent him from watching her, or shooting through a window. The window film enables the people inside to see out, but those who are outside cannot see in. It also allows the light in, so she is not cowering in darkness.
Another suggestion, is to stop using a car and take public transit, at least for a period of time until things are settled. This would prevent a person from slipping past an electric gate as she drives into the parking lot. It would also prevent him from surreptitiously putting a tracking device on her car. It also gives her a chance to check outside before she leaves, to be sure no one is lurking or waiting for her to come out. She could also switch the exits she uses, so if he is waiting, he would have to sit there for hours, which would draw attention.
If possible, it would be better to avoid predictable routines. Change salons, coffee shops, and all of the places he knows her to frequent. I also think it would help to change appearance, hair colour, glasses, and even clothing styles. If he is watching her, he will rely on the knowledge he has about her. If something throws him off, or makes him unsure if it is her, it might giver her a chance to get away.
Houses have multiple doors, windows, and entry points. Especially worrisome are the basement, and lower level windows. But it does seem most often the perpetrator gains access through the garage.
The other thing she might consider if she can afford it, is to hire a private detective to follow him around. The entire cat and mouse aspect of femicide following a divorce, requires strategy to help balance some of the fear mongering.
She can set up various in home, and personal cameras so she can review them to see if he has been stalking, or sitting outside her residence or workplace. If he does abduct or kill her, at least it might be caught on camera. She could also wear a body camera. Some of them are almost indistinguishable because they are so small. You can even get a pen with a camera in it, to wear in a pocket. She should acquaint herself with whatever technology is available, in order to protect herself.
She can get a cheap personal alarm that she can carry with her. They are about 2.5″ x 2″ and have a pin to pull, so it quicker than a phone call. Most of them have around a 130 decibel alarm, so it may alert someone to call 911, or it may scare off the attacker. They come with a key chain attachment, and a loop so they can be looped around a handbag. To stop the alarm, you just stick the pin back into the device. Many of them also have mini flashlights. The price range is $5-$20. A small can of pepper spray is around $20 CAD.
She should avoid all social media that signals what she is doing, or where she is going. Shut down the FB accounts. Get an unlisted number, and turn off all location settings on all devices. Often this is overlooked, but it is a critical safety factor.
In cases that are very high risk, the woman usually knows her life is at risk. She must carefully weigh out whether an acrimonious asset battle is worth it, if the spouse is unhinged.
As far as carrying weapons, some people might make that choice. I can see carrying a personal alarm, and a small can of mace. But as far as guns are concerned, personally I would never want to carry a gun unless I was out in the wilderness.
There are laws around carrying any kind of concealed weapon, including mace. However, we can carry pepper spray in case we encounter a vicious dog. In some locations here in BC, you could encounter a bear or a cougar, even in a town or city. So you can explain away having a can of pepper spray.
Another thing I have carried occasionally, is a kilt pin, because it can be used to attach or fix something to a bag, or whatever, so it does not fit the description of a concealed weapon. Therefore, you can explain why you have one in your pocket. They are very strong with a fairly long pin, around 4″.
In the Victorian era, woman wore hat pins to ward off gropers, and stalkers. Not many people want to be jabbed with a 9″ hat pin. Plus if it is on your head, it is handy.
If someone is pointing a gun at you, and about to shoot, many people either freeze, or run, or plead. If there is anything handy at all, why not throw something at him? A coffee mug, or anything that might make him duck, or distort his aim. Killing another person is the ultimate act of power, dominance and control.
All controlling behaviours rely upon a predictable response. The key is to do something unpredictable, every step of the way. They cannot control what they cannot predict. They count on fear, and a fearful response, such as begging for your life. They want to see the victim in fear, and grovelling. A murderer does not care if a person begs for their life. In fact it only reinforces their sense of absolute power and control over the victim’s life.
Some women have escaped the most gruelling attempts on their lives. In every survivor story, whatever she managed to do, was the best option in the circumstance. Intuition should never be underestimated. Every situation is unique. There are cases where compliance can be used to buy time, or obeying his commands might appease him.
Body armour? Like a bullet proof vest? I don’t know. Somehow I can’t envision too many women wanting to go about their daily tasks wearing a bullet proof vest.
And finally, perhaps the best option for those who can afford it, and are willing to cut ties – relocate to another country, and change your name.
Nothing of course, is going to prevent a very determined man with murder on his mind. It is very sad, whatever it is that drives some men to hate their ex more than they love their children, or even themselves. They are bent on destruction, to include themselves.
I think the only peace one could find in such a situation, is to draw closer to God. Pray, increase your faith, read the Bible, and trust in God. That way, no matter what happens, you are safe. God’s love has the power to cast out fear, no matter what our circumstances are.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Not all salt is created equal. In fact there is a plethora of information about different kinds of salt, and how it is refined or processed for cooking and table use.
The most common type of salt is the plain old table salt we are all familiar with because it is what we see on the aisles of every grocery store. It is harvested using a process called solution mining. Salt wells are placed over the salt beds, and water is injected to dissolve the salt. This creates a liquid salty brine, which is treated with chemicals to remove all the natural trace minerals. This chemical treatment is called refining. Once all the trace minerals are removed, it is boiled and evaporated until only the salt remains. Often an anti-caking agent is added to prevent the salt from clumping together. The NaCl content is around 99%
It stands to reason, some of the higher quality salt comes from locations with minimal pollutants, less refinement, and a retention of the trace minerals. Some of the salts to consider trying:
Redmond Sea Salt comes from an ancient seabed in Utah, an area claimed to be free of pollutants. None of the natural minerals are stripped away, and nothing is added to this salt. Their website describes the taste as subtly sweet, with a range of nutritional benefits. The NaCl content varies by type, ranging from 90% to 98%
Himalayan pink salt is probably the best known salt, but it is not actually mined from the sea. It is harvested by hand at the Khewra Salt Mine in the Himalayan mountains of Pakistan. This salt is considered by many to be the purest. It boasts 84 trace elements, and is rich in iron. It has a bolder flavour than more refined salts. The thing to note about all salt, is that it is predominantly Sodium Chloride. In this case it is 98% NaCl.
Himalayan black salt or kala namak in Nepal is made by covering Himalayan sea salt with bark, herbs, seeds, and charcoal. and then roasting it in a furnace for 24 hours. The colour ends up being reddish black. It also has a sulphur smell similar to boiled eggs. This salt is used in vegan dishes to mimic an egg flavour. It is also used in Ayurvedic medicine. It contains traces of Potassium, Magnesium and Iron. It is 98% NaCl.
Celtic sea salt is also known as grey salt, or sel gris. This is another popular salt among gourmet cooks. It is harvested by hand from dry ponds off the coast of France. When the seawater evaporates, it leaves the salt to bake in the sun at the bottom of the pond. The taste is distinctive and briny due to the clay and mineral content. It is favoured for roasting vegetables, and for grilled meat, and seafood. In this case the NaCl content is 84% This salt contains more minerals than most, to include Calcium, Magnesium, and Potassium. In addition to the grey colour, it is moist and chunky. The advantage of the high moisture content, is that it does not suck the moisture out of food as many other types of salt do.
Flake salt is thin, white, and irregular shaped. It has a very low mineral content, and has a bright salty taste. It tends to dissolve very quickly, therefore is best as a finishing salt on salads, meats, and savoury sweets. It is 99% NaCl.
Hawaiian black salt comes from the volcanic regions in Hawaii. Similar to the grey salt, it is harvested from locations where there are evaporated sea ponds. However, in this case it is the evaporated lava pools. The black colour is further enhanced with activated coconut charcoal. It has a strong earthy flavour with hints of sulfur. It contains traces of Potassium, Calcium and Iron. The NaCl content is 86%
Red Hawaiian salt comes from tidal pools of iron-rich volcanic clay, hence the red colour. According to the salt experts, this salt contains the highest percentage of trace minerals of any other brand of salt. It has a nutty flavour, and is most often used as a finishing salt. In addition, it was used to cleanse, purify and bless everything from houses, to tools, and even canoes. It contains Potassium, Calcium, Magnesium and Iron. The NACl content is 84%
And finally what is the most expensive gourmet salt of in the world?
Some say it is Korean Bamboo Salt. This salt goes through a unique labour intensive process of roasting at high temperatures in bamboo tubes for up to 50 hours. During the roasting, the salt is infused with minerals. As a result, it is 81% NaCl with higher concentrations of minerals and electrolytes than most salt. This salt might be highly regarded in some circles, but there is a warning, as overuse can lead to hypernatremia, and act as a sodium replacement, which can seriously disrupt the electrolyte balance in the body.
And finally, the top of the line, and generally most expensive salt in the world is Fleur de Sel de Carmargue from France. It is harvested once a year, during the summer months. When the winds die down, the salt on the ponds rise to the surface to form millions of shimmering salt crystals. It requires skilled workers to gather the salt, as only the top layer of crystals are carefully raked. This salt contains Calcium, Potassium, Iodine, Magnesium and Copper. However, it is still around 97% NaCl. It is described as having a delicate flavour, and is used as a finishing salt, not for cooking.
The description in this post of the various types of salt, barely skims the surface, as there are many more types of salt from other locations in the world. One of the takeaways for me, is that I will not buy the standard type salt again, because of the chemical refinement, and anti-caking agent that is added to it. It sounds awful, whatever it is. The pink Himalayan salt is not expensive, and can be found in most grocery stores, as a much better salt choice.
I just recently purchased a small jar of the Fleur de Sel Carmargue for around $12.00 at the local grocery store. The same salt is $20.00 on Amazon. So far I have only used it once, on roasted kale. The recipe called for a teaspoon of salt, but next time, I will just use a half a teaspoon, as in my opinion, the flavour is quite strong, and distinct, compared to most other salts. I know they described it as subtle, but I think it is a case of using less, which is a good thing.
It probably wouldn’t hurt any of us to go into more in-depth learning when it comes to salt, and the many varieties, and locations where it is harvested throughout the world.
After all, salt is something we use daily, and like many things we use daily, we tend to take it for granted. Either that or we are casually overusing it, because we are buying a brand that is so highly processed, it is bland and loses its flavour. Furthermore, it is treated with chemicals, prioritized as being un-clumped, and chemically inert, sitting and stagnating in a cardboard box.
Salt should not lose its flavour, or its trace minerals. Yes it is mostly NaCl, but the trace minerals are what gives it flavour, and more complexity.
Those who push the highly refined salt, or claim all salt is the same, will say we do not need the trace minerals anyway, as they are insignificant amounts. Our bodies do not need significant amounts of trace minerals.
Not that we should expect to get these minerals from salt alone, but rather we get them from a wide variety of nutritious foods. Foods should not be stripped of their nutrients. However highly processed foods, are usually stripped of nutrients, then fortified etc. with extra salt and sugar to give food the “bliss factor”. The bliss they are aiming for is a dopamine rush that keeps people coming back for more. That is why it is best to avoid the blissful food, and opt for a whole food diet. It is so much more nutritious.
Plus, we can look to the analogy of people with sound character, being called the salt of the earth. Once we learn more about the different types of salt, it brings an added layer of meaning to what it is to be called the salt of the earth, and how important it is for salt not to lose its flavour.
Years ago I recall sitting around with a group of nurses discussing a tumultuous divorce that one of the nurses was going through. In the midst of the conversation, someone asked the question, what is love?
The responses were interesting, and often vague. Is it an emotion? Is it a decision? Is it set in stone, or changeable like the weather? Is one kind of love the same as another? Is the love for a child greater than the love for a partner? We began to wonder and contemplate if we knew what it actually meant.
One woman who had been married seventeen years said her husband had never once told her he loved her. Not even when they got married, or when they had each child. She chalked it up to his inability to express his emotions.
Another divorced woman said she had mistaken lust for love, and when the honeymoon phase was over, she realized she had married a serial cheater, completely shattering her illusion of love.
Others believed it was a choice, a partnership, and transactional arrangement with mutual benefits. To make it work, there are trade offs and compromises to be made. Many people hold to the concept that marriage is an endurance test, through thick or thin, marriage is a lifelong commitment.
There is much more to love than what we surmised. Some of the women who were present admitted they were not even sure what love is, or what it means.
Perhaps love is first recognized, and known by most people within families. This foundational love ideally demonstrates love between two parents, extending to their children, and siblings who respect and support each others differences and endeavours.
It might help to define what is not love. Control is very common, yet it is not love. Love does not constantly have to seek the approval of someone else, whether it is a family member, or a spouse.
If we end up constantly seeking approval, we give away the right to be who we are, as authentic individuals. We are not all the same, and nor can we conform to, or fit into a mold made by someone who rejects who we are.
We do not need to constantly prove ourselves. Love is not based on our achievements. It is not based on trying to prove our worth, gain acceptance, avoid rejection, in order to exist. Love does not demand a sacrifice of self.
What kind of a person rejects, and will not accept a family member? Yet they might go to church every Sunday, and give the pious appearance of being good people. If all believers are in the family of God, or the body of Christ – how is it that people who claim to be Christians can be so merciless? So judgmental? So authoritative and demanding that another adult must conform to their every whim?
How can a sibling give another sibling up for adoption? To a cult no less. It is no different than throwing their sibling into a pit. They may have the power to throw you into a pit, but God has the power to get you out of it, and will enact justice according to His own timing. Because He is merciful, and patient with us, He gives all of us plenty of time to repent.
Only a parent can give a child up for adoption. It is a legal procedure, and cannot be done on the sly, or lied about. Adoption protects the child from exploitation. That is why illegal, or feigned adoptions are unacceptable in any society. It has been that way since the beginning of time.
There are many books of the bible where each person born is described as who begat who. Every lineage can be followed through, even those who were born to the concubines of kings. No one gets to pull another person out by their roots and offload them to someone else for profit and exploitation. We are not objects to be given away, or gotten rid of. We are not something the cultist found at a garage sale. People are not throwaways.
Joseph was thrown into a pit by his siblings, and left for the dead. They took his coat and ripped it up, then showed it to his father, and told him Joseph had been killed by wild beasts. Joseph’s father was grief stricken, so not only were they cruel to Jospeh, but they also stuck a knife into the heart of Jacob.
Jacob had favoured Joseph over all his other sons. The coat they so unceremoniously ripped up, was given to Joseph by his father.
In the case of Cain and Abel. Why did Cain murder his own brother? Abel had given a sacrifice to God that was acceptable to God. The sacrifice Cain gave was not. So in a fit of jealous rage, Cain killed his brother. It was the first murder in human history, and it happened early in history, because Abel and Cain were the sons of Adam and Eve.
Of course God knew immediately what Cain had done. He also knew what Jospeh’s brothers had done to him. As it turned out, Joseph was rescued, and although he was expected to be a slave, he ended up demonstrating wisdom, and was put into a high ranking role.
Jospeh had the foresight to store up grain and provisions in abundance to prepare for famine in the land. As it turned out, his brothers travelled to get grain, and did not even recognize Joseph by then. But he knew who they were, and gave them plenty of grain, along with the money they had paid.
Initially they were frantic, as they thought it might be a ruse to accuse them of theft. But Jospeh reached out with mercy, and forgiveness. To his joy, Jacob was finally reunited with his long lost son.
As we can see, when God’s love is in the picture, we can ascertain what true love means. God knows our family, all the hardships, the conflicts, and the betrayals. Only God can work things out for the good of those who love and place their trust in Him.
In spite of our many mistakes, faults and shortcomings, we do not belong to the past, we belong to the future.
Rejection is not a measure of our worth. It is often the result of a loss of control over us. When someone only loves us based on the version of us they have crafted, or created, or deem to be acceptable, it is not love.
What kind of love is built on conditions? Since when are family relationships used to punish, take away your right to be a member of the family, or use innocent children as pawns? That is not based on love.
Love does not punish you for growth, for truth, or for who you are. Love does not set you up as a scapegoat within a dysfunctional family. Love does not try to deny who you are, or the family you were born into and raised by. Love does not cling to the past, but is able to let it go.
We have to get to the point where we do not have to betray self, to gain the approval of a more dominant and powerful family member. Estrangement is not based on our lack of love, but theirs. Love given as a condition of compliance, is not love at all. Control disguised as love is considered to be the cruelest form of deception.
Growth can be a lonely, but rewarding path. It brings clarity. It releases us from the bondage of the past. We have no control over the family we were born into. We do not have to be punished, rejected, fed to the wolves, or apologize for existing.
We do not have to be lesser than, so someone else can be more than we are. The path forward is not anger, but understanding how it all came to be, and simply letting go.
One of the things that has become crystal clear to me, is that we have to accept the truth. Not only the truth of who we are, and how things came to be, but the truth that can only come from God. As human beings, not only are we prone to being deceived, but we are also prone to self-deception.
We do play a role in all the conflicts we stumble into. None of us are pure as the driven snow.
Love is not a debt to be repaid. If it is treated as such, it is futile, and is not love at all. We do not need to dim our light so someone else can shine brighter. Love does not work that way.
Some of the greatest gifts from God relate to love, directly and indirectly. Only God knows our hearts, and based on His wisdom and love, he draws us to repentance, and humbles us. We can put our trust in Him, and be obedient, without having to live up to the expectations of men or women who do not accept us.
As part of God’s infinite wisdom, he gave us free will. God does not try to control us, or force us into a relationship with him. He knows that love is not love, if it is not given freely. It cannot be coerced. He cautions us to guard our hearts, to not be deceived, to forgive as we have been forgiven, to let go of anger, to have faith, and to give thanks for all things. We are not forced to obey these biblical instructions. No one has more power than God. For the oppressed, it is a great comfort to know God does not control us, yet He is in control of all things.
Nothing can separate us from the love of God. God’s love does not reject us, does not lie about us, does not try to make us conform to be something or someone else. God’s love teaches us mercy and forgiveness. We are secure in His love because He knows our true self.
We do not need to apologize for being who we are. We do not need to be punished for setting boundaries, or speaking the truth of who we are. We are not adopted into another family based on lies. We are adopted into the family of God, based on truth, and His promises.
We are not heirs to deception, but rather, we will inherit the Kingdom of God. The love of God is a gift, to include the saving grace of what Christ did for us on the cross.
Sometimes men cannot see beyond the capacity of their own limitations. It causes them to be insecure and controlling. Sometimes we are targets due to vulnerabilities, or being the youngest, or least powerful, in a hierarchy of abuse.
Sometimes our very existence forces a more powerful or dominant family member to face things he is not ready to face. We can bend ourselves into a pretzel, and will never be acceptable to them. Their coldness, and manipulations are not a debt we owe through self-sacrifice. It is hopeless and barren to even try, because the goal posts are always shifting, and the goal is to set us up for trickery and exploitation. I suppose it proves we are not as smart as we thought we were. Guile and duplicity is a hard act to follow.
Our obedience to God calls upon us to be truthful, to forgive, and to trust in Him, not the forces that seek to blot us out of our own family, and out of existence.
Just as people cannot and should not try to control us, we too, have no right or avenue to control them. We can pray for them, hope they will change, and forgive them. But we have no control over them.
Therefore to answer the question – what is love? In a secular world, we can only rely upon conditional, and transactional love. Men may seek a beautiful woman to compliment their lives, and women may seek financial security and wealth to compliment their lives. But without God, this type of love is fleeting.
The bible prophecy does tell us that during the end times, the love of many will wax cold, to include family betrayal and rejection.
God teaches us what love is, so we are not confused or deceived by the secular world, or the attempts to use love, or withhold love to control us. He teaches us about betrayal and rejection, so we are able to endure the hardship, and emotional pain it causes.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Canada has a rich textile history, starting as early as 1671. Historically the textile industry in Canada played an important economic role booming throughout the 19th and 20th centuries. By the mid 19th century, it was the third largest employer in Canada next to iron and steel production.
Canada’s first woollen mill was built in the 1820’s. By the mid 1800’s the industry had expanded to 385 cotton mills across Upper and Lower Canada.
By the early to mid 1900’s the textile industry had expanded more to include knitted goods, and an array of manmade fabric blends. There were over two thousand factories and mills.
At the height of textile production in Canada in the 20th century, the industry was flourishing to the extent it fulfilled 60% of domestic market demands. It also provided the necessary textiles in both world wars.
Sadly, by the end of the 20th century Canada began to rely more on imported textiles.
The website ingeniumcanada.org contains a collection of the Canadian looms and artifacts from Canada’s textile industry showcasing thousands of items used in the manufacturing of textiles.
By the 1970’s Canada’s textile workers received the highest wage compensation in the world. Most of the manufacturing was done in Quebec and Ontario. In addition, the artistic fashion flair that came out of Montreal, is world-renowned.
Canadian made products are not limited to textiles. Examples of quality products:
Stainless steel cookware. Currently Meyer has an eleven piece set marked down from $749 to $299. There are several stainless steel cookware options made in Canada. As we shift from using non stick coated pans with potential chemicals and microplastics, it is well worth changing to quality stainless steel pans. The trick with stainless steel pans is to heat them first, before adding oil or food.
Extensive and beautiful products made of wood. In addition to furniture, houses, flooring, decks, and other large items, Canada has churned out some beautiful kitchen products over the years.
One of the historical companies that made wooden kitchenware is Baribocraft. You can still find some of these high quality salad bowls, cheese boards, and salt and pepper mills in the second hand market. The company was founded by Herve Baribeau in 1922, and ceased production in the 1970’s. A link to an example of their product for sale on this website is posted at the end of this article.
Canada also has a rich history in the manufacturing of cast iron cookware. Although Canada no longer makes cast iron cookware, it is worthwhile to seek out some of the items in the second hand market, as cast iron can last hundreds of years.
Beginning in the 1740’s Les Forges Saint-Maurice in Quebec produced cast iron stoves, kettles, cookware, and even bullets.
McClary was also a notable maker of cast iron, and was headquartered in London, Ontario. Bristow Iron Works is another Canadian company located in Bracebridge, Ontario. I am not sure if they are still in operation as their website is not working.
The history, and availability of Made in Canada products is extensive. To see a more comprehensive list, check out the website madeincanadadirectroy.ca. More recently a young entrepreneur in Ontario set up madeinca.ca.
Remember ~ Canada is awesome!
Check out the example of vintage Baribocraft, and some of Canada’s gorgeous fashion designs:
This is something I should have been paying attention to long ago. It has gradually dawned on me that our bodies cannot cope with a build up of plastics, yet our kitchen might be full of plastics that eventually shed microplastics into our food. The following is a list of things to consider turfing for a safer alternative.
Don’t believe everything that is labelled as safe or BPA free. Plastic, especially with repeated use and heat, will eventually release particles or chemicals into food, tea, coffee etc.
Plastic water bottles. This one is probably the most well known contributor. Switch to stainless steel or borosilicate glass as it leaves no taste, is non-toxic, and is stronger than other types of glass.
Non-stick frying pans and cookware. These are advertised as safe and non-toxic, but for how long? As soon as they are scratched or reach a certain shelf life, they are supposed to be replaced as they will leach chemicals into food after a certain point. Often they are scratched but the scratches are not visible to the naked eye, so you might think the pan is okay, when it is not. Plus who wants to buy new pans every year or two? Like good kitchen knives, a good pan should last a lifetime or longer. Switch to stainless steel, cast iron, carbon steel, or enamel coated cast iron.
Once you delve into it, the history of cast iron is quite interesting. You can use chain metal to clean cast iron. The key thing is to season it well, and wash it with hot water. Then dry it thoroughly and right away, followed by a coat of avocado oil each time. Avocado oil has a higher smoke point than some of the other oils.
Some cast iron experts swear by Crisco, or lard. I have been using avocado oil, but it might be a good idea to switch to Crisco, because it has so many good reviews from those who changed from avocado oil to Crisco for seasoning the pans.
Some people will tell you not to use a metal pot scrubber on cast iron, but what else can you use? Avoid steel wool. Chain metal is the preferred method, but chain metal is stainless steel, the same as the pot scrubbers are. If you wash it immediately after use, it is much easier to clean.
If you go on YouTube to learn about cast iron care, you will find a plethora of information. Some people even use an electric sander to sand the inside of the pan, to make it smooth. So I figure the pan can handle a quick scrub with a metal pot scrubber.
After you use the pan a few times, food does not stick as much. I find that it helps build up the seasoning in the pan if you heat it on the stove top after use, coat it with oil, and leave it on medium heat while you do the rest of the kitchen cleanup.
Never soak cast iron, and make sure it is dried well after cleaning. You can buy silicone handles as the handle tends to get hot.
Update Feb 5th, 2025 – I stand corrected. There is so much contradictory advice out there on cast iron care, it is hard to know what is the best. The key thing is to make sure you do not leave it soaking in water. I have used stainless steel scrubbers on a cast iron frying pan, but some of the experts say to use coarse salt instead.
Another cleaning tip is to heat the pan, and then add hot water (not cold or it might crack). After adding hot water, it can be scraped with a wood spatula or a non abrasive scrubber. Most people agree that chain metal is okay to use, which is basically stainless steel. Others claim that using soap on a well seasoned pan is a non issue, because the seasoning on the pan forms a strong polymer, and will not be emulsified by the soap.
However I did watch a video where a guy with a wall full of cast iron frying pans, adamantly said “Do not use soap”. So, as it is with all things, live and learn. So far I have not seen any damage from using a metal pot scrubber. From past experience, when I was young, I did give up on using cast iron, because of the rust caused by not caring for it properly. Something I did not know at the time, is that even if a pan does rust, it can be restored, by scrubbing off the rust with salt, and then seasoning it again.
Regardless of what you do, in almost all cases, it can be cleaned and re-seasoned. A quick Google search says not to pour cold water onto a hot pan, or to drop it from a height, or use harsh scrubbing tools. So I might opt for a less harsh scrubbing tool, to be on the safe side. But almost all people use stainless steel utensils on cast iron, so it seems to me that would be as harsh as a stainless steel scrubber, especially if the food is stuck onto the pan, or you are doing frequent flipping and stirring. Either way, cast iron is 98% iron, and is tough enough to last a hundred years or more.
Another update July, 2025: I picked up an eight inch vintage cast iron frying pan at a thrift store. It had a stubborn rust stain in the centre of the pan. Otherwise it was in good condition with no warping or cracks. I scrubbed the rist stain with coarse salt, and then soaked it in a vinegar solution. The rust stain came out, and left a sort of silver tone, which indicates you have reached the bare iron on the pan. After this, I put oil onto the pan, and heated it for awhile. It looks and cooks fine. Mission accomplished.
There are two types of stainless steel frying pans. The most common is 304, but if you can find 316 stainless steel, you will get a much better frying pan that won’t warp. The key with both stainless steel and cast iron is to pre-heat it before adding oil, and then again before adding food. You can get an inexpensive infrared thermometer to test the temperature of the pan.
Plastic cutting boards are also a source of plastic food contamination. A much better option is wood. You can buy Canadian maple cutting boards on Amazon. Bamboo is probably the cheaper alternative but might dull your knives. Use food grade mineral oil to treat them. After cutting chicken or meat, you can clean with lemon juice and baking soda or a solution of bleach.
Food storage in plastic is another source of contaminants. Some people opt for silicone, but frankly, I do not fully trust silicone either. Borosilicate glass is the best option, as it can stand thermal shock and is freezer safe. Mason jars can also withstand thermal shock, and freezing.
Tea bags, and single use coffee pods are among the worst culprits. For awhile I was opening the tea bags and putting them in a stainless steel tea strainer, but apparently the tea is already contaminated. You have to buy organic loose leaf teas, or you can make your own blends. You can also buy special carbon filters for French press coffee makers.
Water jugs also need to be made of borosilicate glass. The plastic water jugs with filters inside might be NSF approved, but the jugs themselves are made of plastic, so what is the point of using those?
Air fryers and many other appliances have non-stick coatings, and can release chemicals into food.
Cutlery drawer organizers are often made of plastic. You can get bamboo organizers that expand to fit the drawer.
The test for silicone, if you do use it for baking, is to twist it and see if there is any colour change. If parts of it turn white, it is not good quality and will break down.
Plastic utensils should be switched to stainless steel, or wood. Do not buy lacquered wood utensils because they too, are coated in plastic. You can use the food grade mineral oil on wooden spoons and spatulas if you want to, the same as what you use on the wood cutting boards.
Salad spinners are a real challenge. No matter how much you search, if you do find one that is stainless steel, most of them still have a plastic liner. The few brands that do have a stainless steel basket, are very expensive, and have low reviews on Amazon.
Sometimes a salad spinner is advertised as glass, but is actually hard plastic. The solution I found that works, is to put one of those expandable stainless steel steamers in the bottom of a plastic salad spinner, so your greens are not coming in contact with the plastic. It works fine, and is a lot cheaper, as I already had a plastic salad spinner. I am going to try a deeper light weight basket that fills in the sides, to see if that works even better.
Then there is dental floss. Apparently silk floss is the best, as far as not releasing any plastic into your mouth. It is also impractical and expensive. It also has poor reviews, and breaks easily. One review claimed that the silk got so stuck between teeth that it required a trip to the dentist.
It might be okay for some people, but those with teeth very close together, are more likely to have floss break between teeth. If this does happen, usually it can be dislodged after ten or twenty minutes of oil pulling, and/or the use of a water pick.
The better choice might be bamboo with charcoal. It is fairly strong, and eliminates 80% of the plastics that are in regular dental floss. It also comes in a cool little glass bottle with a metal lid.
Another thing to consider, is the use of plastic pot and vegetable scrubbers. You can opt for chain metal, or natural coconut bristle brushes, as better alternatives. Silicone for lighter, non scratch scrubbing, is probably better than the old fashioned plastic chore girls, as they used to be called.
Oh and don’t forget about the measuring cups, hand juicers, measuring spoons, and funnels. You can buy stainless steel alternatives at the dollar store. You can also buy mini wooden spoons for measuring herbs and spices.
Canned goods are plastic lined, and will also leach plastics, especially if the food is acidic like tomato sauce. Reduce the use of canned goods, and opt for whole foods when possible. When pouring the contents of the can out, do not scrape or rinse the inside of the can.
On the bright side, the wood, glass, metal, and cast iron does lend an old fashioned appeal to the kitchen decor. May our food be blessed with nutrients, not plastics!
Protect your organs and lymphatic system from plastics.
This is another controversial topic in Christian teaching, and biblical interpretations. Since politics has far-reaching implications in all aspects of our lives, it is something we should evaluate very carefully.
There are several denominations that tell Christians not to vote, or to become involved in politics at all. It is interesting to note, some of these churches who claim to be untainted by politics, will tell the congregation to stay out of politics, while the leaders do just the opposite.
How can any of them completely stay out of politics, when they are registered, and governed under the statutes of the Societies Act? The Societies Act has a similar structure as a corporation, but is designed specifically for non-profits.
Churches would not be registered, would not have tax exemption status, would not be doing public broadcasting, or applying for building codes, and building churches, if they had zero involvement in politics.
The use of schools, roads, health care, and all other public affairs – are politically affiliated. So there is no escaping politics.
All churches must follow the laws of the land, and government policies. Many of the Christian sects who try to separate from the world, and claim the entire outside world is evil, end up becoming cults.
However there are some verses in the bible that might appear to be conflicting, or could allow people to pick and choose one extreme or the other. On one hand, avoid all political discourse to include voting. On the other hand, to be a light in the darkness, and stand up against evil and injustice.
There is some discernment required. It is clear we are to keep order, obey laws, and pray for the government in power. We are not supposed to go out rioting in the streets, protest illegally, or with any sort of violence.
In our times, we have been made aware of many government protests. I believe that lawful peaceful protests in a democratic country are within the rights of all citizens who wish to participate.
However, I do not believe any protest should interfere with public safety, or the rights of other citizens who are not part of the protest. I also believe protesters should never go to the home of any politician in order to protest. Nor should politicians be heckled or confronted when out on family vacations or outings.
We have to keep in mind that God knows who is in charge, and who has temporary political powers on this earth. The only leader who is constant, all knowing, from the beginning to the end, is God. All others are elected, or appointed for a brief window of time.
It is one thing to influence public opinion if you can, when a politician appears to be corrupt, self-serving, or doing harm. But we all must recognize and respect the limits, boundaries and protections awarded to people in political roles.
There are many who might disagree, but in my opinion, politicians have families, and a right to a private life, like anyone else does. To cross the boundary of personal space, is threatening their Charter Rights. When people are so bold as to challenge politicians while they are in their homes, they are doing what they would not want done to themselves.
How many of us would want the government, or some vigilante protest group to show up outside our home, and park themselves on our lawns, or private property? It would be invasive, intrusive, and intimidating, to say the least.
We have seen plenty of governments corruption, but we have also seen increasingly militant protest groups, who are taking over events intended for other purposes. As it is with all things, there must be boundaries, as well as checks and balances to keep the peace.
One of the central Christian principles is to do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. The golden rule can be found in Luke 6:31 as well as in Matthew 7:12.
Luke 6:31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.
Matthew 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
We are not supposed to be overcome with evil, but rather to overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21 tells us this:
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
Whether we like it or not, politics is in every aspect of our lives. All organizations have a political structure, regardless of the size. As Christians we are to obey God, the bible, and God’s commandments, first and foremost.
Throughout history, there have been cases where Christians took great risks, and refused to follow the orders of a certain king, or political leader.
One of the most known examples of disobedience to a king, was to save the life of Moses. Pharaoh, the king of Egypt gave strict orders to kill all Hebrew baby boys in Exodus 1:22. They were to be thrown into the Nile River and drowned, because Pharaoh’s astrologies had indicated there was a coming King, which could threaten his position.
The mother of Moses managed to hide him for three months, and when she could no longer keep him hidden, she fashioned a basket made of reeds, carefully waterproofing it, and then setting him afloat in the river. The Pharaoh’s daughter was bathing in the river, and saw the basket with the baby in it. She was overcome with compassion for the infant, and took him home with her, to raise as her own child.
Clearly these events were the will of God, as Moses has played a very important role in the history of the bible.
Other examples are when Christians, including Mary and Joseph were warned to leave a certain area, to avoid the wrath of the current political leadership.
We also have the parable of the wheat and the tares to refer to. Jesus explained that the wheat and the tares co-exist until the time of His return. When the disciples asked him if they should go pull up the tares, he told them not to. Therefore, we are to be discerning, but not violent or destructive. We are to proclaim the gospel, and the word of God, and not hide our light.
Does it sound like we should have nothing at all to do with politics? It appears we are to carefully discern how to demonstrate Christian values in relation to politics. There is special emphasis on this when it comes to orphaned or abandoned children, and widows.
There are many other examples of Christians refusing to follow the orders of certain leaders that were contrary to God’s laws. The Apostle’s and many other early Christians were persecuted, and imprisoned by King Herod for worshipping Jesus, in defiance of Herod’s rules.
The bible does say we must obey the government when it comes to law and order in our everyday lives. We are not to defraud one another, lie, give false witness, or become violent, to include interfering with the free will of others. We are to obey God’s Commandments.
Romans 13: 1-14 is often used to tell Christians to avoid politics, however the context, is much deeper than what is understood by most of us. It was a message given while under the siege of the Roman Empire.
The bible describes a situation where Peter was taken prisoner in Acts 12:3-5. King Herod Agrippa had him put in prison to await execution. The church was so concerned for Peter, they gathered in a house to pray for his release. God answered their prayers.
The night before the trial, an angel appeared inside the prison, woke Peter up, and removed his chains. The angel then opened the prison doors, and the main gate of the prison to set him free. Herod must have been furious, but also must have been reminded of God’s power to intervene on behalf of His people.
In a similar type situation Paul managed to escape and avoid execution in Damascus. This event is described in 2 Corinthians 11:30-33. The governor, under king Aretas attempted to seize Paul in order to execute him. Paul hid himself in a large wicker basket, and then was lowered down the city wall through a window, and managed to avoid his persecutors. Obviously Paul would have required assistance to make this escape, so the disciples who helped him, were also defying the local political orders.
Even so, Paul wrote Romans 13 in order to outline the need for law and order.
In more recent years, we can use the horrors of the second world war, to describe how some people heroically assisted people escape death. Clearly they were defying Hitler’s orders, and risked death themselves in order to save others. This type of political defiance is not viewed as being unbiblical.
We simply cannot escape politics, as matters of public affairs are all around us, all the time. We are called upon first and foremost to repent, and turn away from our own sin. It is overwhelming to fully realize how sinful and foolish I have been in my lifetime.
By the grace of God, our shame is turned into hope, which is something we want for our family, our neighbours, our communities, and our country. We are not in a position to judge or condemn others, but we can, and should speak out against what is harmful or deceitful.
We are each given different gifts, and are called according to God’s purpose. Therefore we have to seek God’s will first and foremost. We should be mindful of the coming Kingdom of God on this earth, and look to the future of a government with Christ ruling over all of the earth.
To me, one of the verses to demonstrate the destiny, and importance of politics, is found in Isaiah 9:6
This is taught in most churches, from Sunday school to funerals. It is driven even deeper into our psyche by the multitude of near death experiences, where people give vivid descriptions of a tunnel of light, warmth, love, fields of flowers, and seeing departed loved ones.
People who have near death experiences cannot be refuted, because it is their own testimony. I know people have out of body experiences. However, the reason, the reality, and the cause is unknown. Based on what it says in the bible, I do not believe anyone can communicate with dead loved ones.
In a near death experience, a person could be in a dreamlike state, and think they have seen departed loved ones, but the bible does make it clear it is not possible to communicate with them. If a person is in a dreamlike or unconscious state, they have no control over what they see or experience. But in our conscious state, we are not supposed to make any attempt to communicate with the dead. It is sorcery.
The bible describes dead people as being in their graves, or asleep, without awareness. So how could they be roaming around to meet people who have near death experiences?
In one of the near death accounts I watched, the woman said she saw Snoop Dogg, and she had great fear of him for some reason. She also thought her fiancee and brother had abandoned her.
Unlike many others who believe they astro travelled somewhere, this woman believed she was dreaming, in an unconscious state, which was related to the trauma she had experienced. She seemed to have very good insight, even though she went through a period of reality versus unreality, in the aftermath of the accident she was in.
Yesterday, in relation to the Los Angeles fires, a street preacher was asking people if they believe in God, and if they think they will go to heaven when they die.
Although he had good intentions, I think it would have been more helpful if he talked to them about Christ, and cited John 3:16 instead of asking them if they think they will go to heaven the minute they die.
The bible also tells us the dead in Christ will be resurrected, or will rise first when Christ returns. How is it possible for Christians who are dead to rise when Christ returns, if they are already in heaven?
John did see what heaven is like, as he expressed throughout the Book of Revelation. It appears he was not physically resurrected to enter heaven, but rather was there in spirit, and saw visions. John wrote this book near the end of his natural life. He went on to live a few more years after he wrote Revelation. His tomb is believed to be in Ephesus. In Revelation 4:1-3 he describes heaven:
All of the verses assuring Christians of eternal life, are telling us we will be resurrected to meet Jesus in the air when He returns. On the last day, and the final trumpet call, the dead will rise first, and the saints who are still alive will rise to meet Christ in the air.
Following the resurrection of the saints, we will return to the earth and reign with Christ. The Kingdom of God will be brought to this earth from heaven. We will not spend eternity in heaven.
For Christians who have died, they will be resting or sleeping until the return of Christ. It is a comfort to know that after we take our final breath, the next thing we will be aware of, is the trumpet call, and being resurrected with a new body, to experience the most joyous, and long awaited event in the history of the world.
Like so many others, from the time I was a child, I wondered about heaven, and what it would be like in heaven. Somehow I could not envision floating around on a cloud for all eternity. I thought, “but what will we do?”
Now that my view of heaven and earth has changed, it makes so much more sense. The bible tells us over and over again that we will reign on this earth with Christ. It tells us what it will be like, and the whole earth will be full of the knowledge of God.
It tells us the meek shall inherit the earth. When Satan is bound, he will no longer be able to deceive the nations. After the thousand year millennial reign of Christ, when Satan is let loose for awhile, leading to the final battle before eternity, the new Jerusalem will come down from heaven, and God will be right here on earth. The bible describes it in detail. There will be no sea, no night, and no darkness. There will be no more pain, no sorrow, no crying. For God will wipe away all tears, and provide light to all the world. The full description of the eternal new Jerusalem is in the Book of Revelation.
We do not spend eternity in heaven. I do not see anywhere in the bible where it tells us we will go to heaven as soon as we die. We can be assured of eternal life, so we have nothing to fear.
During these troubled times, when the people of Los Angeles are saying it seems apocalyptic, and like Armageddon, and many are examining their faith. The Middle East is in turmoil, and it seems every government is fallen into corruption in some form or another.
What about the unbelievers, the atheists, the deceived, the false Christians, and those who reject Christ while they are alive? What happens to them when they die? They do not go to an eternal hellfire of torture like so many preachers claim. They go to their graves, and await resurrection, but in a different timeline.
After the return of Christ, Satan is bound, and the millennial reign spans a thousand years. After the millennial reign, the unbelievers are resurrected back to life to face the great white throne of judgment.
Based on what it says in the bible, we do not know how many of them will be pardoned, or if some of them will be in the Lamb’s book of life. The bible does say that some people are destined for the lake of fire, or the second death. But it does not say all of the unbelievers will meet the same fate.
There is disagreement and controversy over this topic. Some claim there is eternal hellfire for all of them, which is false. Some claim there is absolutely no way an unbeliever can be saved after they die, which is not what the bible says either.
It certainly does seem possible, based on what it says about the judgement. You will notice it says the resurrected unbelievers are judged according to their works, and that whoever is not written in the book of life, is cast into the fire. This certainly suggests that some of them are written in the book of life. Revelation 20:11-15 tells us what happens to them:
For those who fear such a fate, the bible says to repent, and turn away from such things. Christ is merciful, and his purpose is to save us from sin. He can and will forgive all those who sincerely repent, and seek Him with all their heart.
As I have learned more about the bible, all of it increases my hope, and understanding of a future eternity. I know we cannot spend eternity floating on a cloud. We have to have things to do, gardens to tend, food to prepare, things to learn, to teach and be taught, and more than anything to love, serve, and worship God.
I know we all contemplate these things as individuals, and what we believe, is often based on what we have learned in churches. However, not all churches teach sound doctrine. When people die, understandably, there is an inclination to want to comfort people by telling them they are in heaven.
When people who believe in Christ die, they are destined for heaven, or paradise on earth. They are resting without knowledge of time, or any fear of what is happening on earth. They die knowing their very next awareness will be a glorious awakening. We can take comfort in knowing God’s plan is unfolding, and amazingly, we are all a part of it.
Think about one of the most famous prayers of all time in Mathew 6:9-13. Surely this tells us God’s Kingdom will be here on this earth:
In the 1990’s, the Betty Broderick story gained International attention surrounding the dangers of affairs, and the fury of a woman scorned.
Betty Bisceglia married Daniel Broderick in 1969, and together they promptly had four children. She got pregnant immediately after getting married, as was the tradition for Catholic families in the 1960’s. If the plan was for her to put him through law school, one wonders why they did not wait a few years before having children.
But as it is with all media sensationalism, and the desire to create a certain feminist portrayal, the woman scorned was seen as having been mistreated much more so, if she put her husband through school.
Does it mean without her, he would not have achieved what he did achieve? If you look at the timelines, he was already well on his way to reaching his goal before he got married. No doubt having a family, would have motivated him more to succeed, and provide for them. Her support, and various contributions, would have been important as well. After all, a marriage is a partnership.
People get married for many reasons, including financial reasons, as marriage in itself is a financial partnership. Rich or poor, they embark on it together. Millions of women work in order to support a family. Both parents are expected to do what they can, to provide for their family, and contribute to the success of the partnership. Married people tend to fare much better financially than single people do.
In the post sixties era of rising feminism, there was a slant, and in some ways it was a bias, casting more expectations of being cared for like the proverbial princess, while simultaneously having powerful careers, and equal freedoms. The polarization of roles, from having babies and being the perfect wife, to somehow being the provider, even though it was short lived – backfired on Betty and Dan.
It was all a fairy tale, a dream come true for Betty. She was the third of six children in a Catholic family. Her father had a successful business, and the family was well provided for. Like many young girls in the 1960’s, a lavish wedding, followed by a house full of children, was the expectation for the continuation of a charmed existence.
She met her future husband Dan when she was just seventeen, and he was twenty-one. At the time, he was going to Cornell University, and had already completed a few years University toward a degree in medicine. They dated for four years during which time he continued his studies, and completed his degree in medicine.
Dan Broderick was also from a large Catholic family, with nine children, and he was very ambitious. After completing medical school, he decided to get a law degree, so he could combine the two disciplines and work on medical malpractice cases.
There has been huge publicity, and fanfare surrounding this case. Most of the publicity describes how much Betty sacrificed to put her husband through school. And no doubt, like most young couples, they must have worked hard, and made sacrifices. She sold Tupperware, and Avon, and did some sporadic work in early childhood teaching.
However the claims of her working like a fiend, to put her husband through law school, seems over rated. During that time frame, she was pregnant, and had small children to care for. Given her personality, and self-absorbed immaturity, it is unlikely she was the saint she portrayed herself to be.
Although she was never diagnosed with a specific mental illness, she was diagnosed and described as having narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. That helps to explain why she has not changed. Personality disorders are part of the person’s makeup since birth, and are not treatable.
Yet her husband was described as narcissistic as well, so perhaps the fatal outcome, is related to the union of two very difficult personalities.
Setting all the Hollywood hoopla aside, the focus on her working for years to put him through school does seem to have elements of exaggeration. They got married in 1969, and had two children immediately after getting married. He started working as a malpractice lawyer in the early 1970’s, and soon after, they bought their first home. It was also reported that he took out a loan to complete his law degree.
Admittedly he had faults, but it does not seem like he was the type to spend years being supported by his wife. Perhaps if she had a solid career, and worked for years in her chosen field to support him and the family, there would be more credibility to the story of putting him through University. Keep in mind, by the time they got married, he had already been in University seven or eight years.
In spite of all Betty’s incessant whining about working (like most of us have to do), in reality, she only worked outside the home at the most, a handful of years. She was in her mid-forties when she shot her husband and his wife. Up until that point, she had not established a career path of any sort. Taking care of four kids, and a house is not to be downplayed, as it is a lot of work, with value for the entire family.
For stay at home moms, it also helps tremendously to have everything paid for, nothing lacking, maid service, new cars, and a beautiful home. But clearly, in addition to hard work, it takes sincerity, honesty, faithfulness, and respect – or it all becomes chaff in the wind.
It appears Betty had financial security within three years of getting married. All of this dove tailed perfectly with her image of a successful and happy family. As it is with all marriages involving secretive affairs, the illusion of a happy marriage is eventually shattered.
Since 1989, television dramas, interviews on Oprah, and hundreds of newspaper articles about the case, each gave a particular slant. Many of them supported Betty’s reactions to a failed marriage, by claiming her husband was a cruel, and ruthless narcissist. They blamed the victim.
There is not much information about Dan Broderick, other than the fact he was very successful, to the point he was making around two million dollars a year. In today’s world, it would be closer to eight million a year. At the time of his death, he was just 45 years old, with at least another twenty years to work.
If Betty would have played her cards with the least bit of strategy, or refinement, she and the children, were set for life. Unfortunately, she was not playing with a full deck. The trauma and emotional scars will be embedded into the lives of the Broderick children for the rest of their lives, overshadowing all the privilege they once had. In fact, the trauma is likely to go on for several generations.
It also sounds like Dan Broderick had a roving eye very soon after their marriage, as he was seldom home, and spent a significant amount of time socializing after work. Once he became involved with his young mistress, he hired her as a personal assistant. This was a turning point, and Betty knew it.
On the afternoon of his birthday, Betty showed up at his office with wine, and gifts. She saw an empty bottle of champagne on his desk, and was told by a nervous receptionist that he had not returned from lunch. Apparently Dan and Linda did not return to the office at all that day. Betty wandered around, and went into Linda’s office. She was aghast to see a picture of Dan when he was much younger, displayed on her wall.
Illusion is like a vapour, without substance. It can quickly be stirred up into a whirlwind, with nowhere to go. In Betty’s case, the tempest of her wrath, twisted from a dust devil, into a full blown tornado.
Her pipe dream had morphed into an irony of terms, an ignis fatuus, a will-o-the-wisp, a steely song and dance, with deception and self-deception.
In reality, within ten years or less, the cracks in the marriage began to show. In a couple of the interviews, Betty hinted she knew he might be having affairs, but as long as the marriage stayed intact, she was willing to look the other way. Even though he was accused of being image conscious, she was no different.
What seemed to matter the most to her, was to keep the fantasy intact. There was no shifting the paradigms, of something so elusive as true love, because she could not grasp it, or hold onto it. She had a massive hole in her butterfly net. Since she was unable to patch, or mend the tear, she just kept chasing those butterflies with a vengeance.
We have to keep in mind that her husband ultimately did not have a chance to defend himself, and her descriptions of him could be fabricated. She claimed he was emotionally abusive and cruel, calling her stupid and fat. There were no signs of physical violence toward her, but without a doubt, she became increasingly disturbed and angry as the relationship disintegrated. She was powerless to do anything about it.
The claims he used his knowledge of the legal system, to abuse power over her, could be true. As the bitter break-up progressed, he used the law and legal system against her, and she used erratic, violent, and profane conduct toward him.
During the divorce, and monetary battles, the children were thrust into the middle of it all. She claimed how unfairly he took custody of the children, however she dropped them off on his doorstep, and left profane messages on the answering machine telling him he could “have them”.
The marriage lasted from 1969 – 1989. But by the early eighties, it was in a free fall, and he moved out of the house. Betty found out about the relationship he was having with his much younger assistant, or at least it was confirmed beyond a doubt by then.
Of all things, the affair with a much younger woman, was the incendiary element that sparked her out of control rage. There was no quenching the fire of fury that burned within her.
She was on the rampage from then on. She vandalized his house several times, put all of his designer suits in a pile and burned them in the yard, and smeared cake all over his bedroom, and contents of his closet. The list of her childish antics, and property damage is a long list.
After he moved in with his mistress, she broke into their house at Christmas time, and opened all of Linda’s presents and trashed them, along with trashing all the Christmas decor. They were away on a brief trip, and one can only imagine how they felt when they saw the Christmas carnage.
At one point she drove her car into their house. Before the divorce was finalized, there were hundreds of attacks on his property, along with multiple death threats. She told several people she was going to shoot and kill them.
There is no disputing the fact her husband was unfaithful. However, he was not the aggressor in any of the violent confrontations. She was the one who repeatedly acted out violently, and in an antisocial, profane, and degrading manner to herself, her ex, his new partner, and to their children.
The evidence was very clear, as there was footage of her being arrested, and so out of control, she had to be physically restrained. There was also evidence of all the property damage she had done, as well as hundreds of profanity laced messages, and threats on his answering machine.
Initially she was granted $16,000 a month in alimony. Considering this was in the eighties, and she did not have custody of the children, how was that viewed as being so unfair? She was also living in the matrimonial home, and was demanding a one million dollar settlement, in addition to the alimony.
If you translate $16,000 a month alimony to today’s value, it would be $61,260.00 a month.
What if all the stress of her attacks would have caused him to quit working? The fact she was financially dependent on him, was not something he should be bashed over. There are countless women who have cheating husbands, and are lucky if they get child support.
The point is, no amount of money would have satisfied her. It was not all about money, it was also about power, and control. He had control, not only because he had money, but he also had self control.
Her loss of self control made her irrational and defenceless. How can anyone defend what she did? It was not only the murders, but all of her behaviours leading up to the murders. He too, must have been stressed and enraged. During her many interviews, she did not take any responsibility for all the vandalism either. She seemed to believe he deserved it.
No one deserves what she did. She was completely unhinged. Her reactions to the split were not his fault. She was powerless to keep him, and there was no reconciling the rage within her. She was not going to let another woman take her prize, or shatter her illusion of a perfect marriage.
In a sense, Betty Broderick remained just as immature as when she was a child, dreaming of a fairy tale wedding, and a life to go with it. She was an adult woman, now in her forties, having tantrum after tantrum, because things did not go her way.
Dan married his mistress Linda, on April 9th of 1989. Ironically, the wedding date was in close proximity to the date Betty and Dan had married. Their anniversary was April 12th. So that must have stuck the knife into her tortured psyche even deeper.
When they got married, Linda wanted her husband to wear a bullet proof vest, just in case Betty showed up and opened fire. Perhaps she didn’t fully realize that she was as much of a target as he was, if not more so.
Just a few months later, in November of 1989, Betty managed to find a key in her daughter’s backpack. A few months prior to that, she had purchased a revolver. Given all her erratic, and unstable behaviour, you have to wonder how she was able to do that. But she did.
She used the key to enter their house at 5:30 am when they were both sound asleep, and quietly crept up the stairs, and into their bedroom. The rest is histrionic history. Linda woke up, and called Dan’s name, telling him to call the police. Betty immediately shot Linda in the head and chest, then shot Dan in the chest, as he was reaching for the phone.
She went home, and told her boyfriend she had shot them. She did have a boyfriend, and somehow that was okay, but it did not mean she was the least bit willing to move on. Her boyfriend was startled and aghast. He drove his Porsche to the home of another lawyer who knew Dan, to tell him what he believed had happened.
They tried calling police and ambulance, but did not know the full details of the crime, or if they had been shot for sure, so at first, they were not taken seriously. The pair then made a mad dash to the house, managed to get inside, and found both of them dead.
The first trial ended in a hung jury. After the second trial, she was convicted of two counts of second degree murder, in December of 1991.
Following her conviction, she gave multiple television and newspaper interviews. She adamantly portrayed herself as the victim, and believed they got what they deserved. Seriously? No one deserves to be shot while at home sleeping in their bed.
She claimed she did it to stop them from harassing her, and harming her further. She just wanted the misery they were inflicting on her to stop. Yet, she was the one doing the harassing. How can two sleeping people be a threat to her? But nothing could make her see her own faults.
What is astounding to me, is how many people sided with Betty, and bought into all the descriptions of her hard work in the early years, as well as his callous cruelty. Even if she did put him through ten or even twenty years of University, it does not justify shooting him for leaving her.
Clearly he did not want to be with her any longer, no matter whose fault it was, or what the reasons were. No one has the answers, when it comes to what happens between two people in a marriage. Sometimes they themselves do not know what caused the breakup. Insight is very valuable, but it may not occur until many years later, if at all. So far, Betty continues to lack even a minuscule amount of insight or remorse, so sadly for her, it may never happen.
Just as it is with men who kill their partners for leaving them, it appears Betty Broderick had objectified her husband, as a sort of trophy husband. He was her trophy, and no one was going to snatch it away from her, without facing a one woman firing squad. She had declared war on them, and there was only one way to win the war, in the trenches of her own tortured soul.
Affairs are dangerous, and nasty. People should get out of the marriage before getting into another relationship. But it is a fact of life that millions of marriages fail every single year, due to infidelity.
In speculating what happened between Dan and Betty, after seeing some of her interviews, and immature, closed mindedness toward showing a shred of remorse, perhaps Dan realized he had married an unstable, so-called bimbo.
Betty repeatedly called his mistress a bimbo, but it appears she was projecting what she was. She was the perfect leave it to beaver wife. However, her reactions over many years, created a portrayal of an unhinged, and unintelligent woman. The only thing beaver about it, was her relentless chewing on a malevolent log jam. She was fixated on one trajectory, and would not budge.
Given her personality, and reactions over a long period of time, her husband probably realized fairly quickly that he had made a big mistake in marrying her. She exhibited a classic example of arrested development. She was intellectually inferior, and did not use any kind of strategy to mitigate her losses. It was all insane and barbaric reactions to a fairly common betrayal. She ignored restraining orders and all court orders.
Eventually her husband set up a system of financial penalties for the various transgressions, ranging from $100-$1000. The profane telephone messages led to a $100 fine. Property crime led to a $500 fine. The more serious transgressions involving the children led to $1000 fine.
To give an idea of how many times she violated the boundaries, she ended up with so many fines, it eroded her alimony into the red. He did get restraining orders on her, so each time she harassed, or contacted them, she was in violation of the restraining order.
The fines were also seen as his ruthless control, and abuse of power over her. But what else could he do? He had no power over her scatterbrained conduct, and he is the one who paid the ultimate price. He was in his forties, in the prime of his life. His new wife was in her twenties. Who knows if that marriage would have lasted?
All tragedy carries many ifs. If he truly was a womanizer, he might have strayed again. If Betty would have been patient, she might have seen her rival face the same jilted fate. If Betty had handled things differently, she could havelived a rich and free life. If she would have waited a few years, she could have been a star, or a contributor to the script in the 1996 film, the First Wive’s Club.
The movie depicted three women seeking revenge over being dumped for younger women. However, even though the casting was good, it was a complete flop. It was supposed to be a comedy to address the issue of affairs by middle aged men, and the rejection of their wives, in favour of those younger women. But the movie did not have much panache, or even a punch line, for what was supposed to be a comedy. It ended up with two star reviews. So even then, Betty’s drama would hardly even warrant a single star, in the vast universe of rejection, and heartache.
She did not handle any part of it with grace or dignity. She had no regard for the trauma and psychological torture she had inflicted on her children. She showed no love for the man she had supposedly once cherished.
Her first parole hearing came up in 2010. She maintained the same harsh attitude toward the victims, and denied wrongdoing. She claimed the “gun just went off”. Yet she hit her targets with deadly precision, following through on multiple threats. By 2010, she had not changed her tune one bit.
Thirty years and more after the crime, by the age of 73, she had appeared before the parole board twice. Each time, she showed no remorse, and remained steadfastly unrepentant.
She was not granted another parole hearing until 2032. By then she will be 84 years old.
How could the tragedy have been averted? If Dan and Linda believed they might need bullet proof vests for their wedding, perhaps their house needed an alarm system.
Alarm systems were not as common in the late eighties, early nineties, as they are now. With four active children coming and going, it might have made alarms more difficult.
However if they had an alarm system turned on at night, it might have saved them. The other thing that might have saved their lives would have been to have a lock and dead bolt on their bedroom door. That way, she would have had to break the door down, or shoot through the door, which would have increased their chance of survival.
Of course hindsight is always easy for the armchair true crime readers. Regardless of what kind of person Dan Broderick was, he did not deserve to die, and she had no right to take her unbridled resentment out on two law abiding citizens, and the father of her children. It was horrific, and without justification of any sort.
If anything, Betty Broderick serves as an example of what anger, wrath, lack of remorse, and a hardened unrepentant heart can do to a person. She does not see herself as she truly is. Her revenge turned her into a monster.
One of the biggest mistakes murder victims make, is to fail to realize the person who is targeting them, will kill them. So many people will say they did not take it seriously, or did not think he/she had the guts, or was capable of carrying out the threats.
If a person consistently makes threats, and destroys another person’s property, they are showing signs of escalating, lethal violence. Property damage is an indirect way of assaulting, and showing total disregard for the rights of a victim. It is just one step away from an attack on the victim, and it does prove how much she objectified him. He was supposed to be her man, her success story, her image, the proverbial feather in her cap.
How is that different from a man objectifying a woman, for her beauty, her body, and the image he portrays if he views her as arm candy? If we are to view men and women as equals, we have to realize that men too, can be treated as ornamentation, albeit in a different way.
The notion that we all mellow with age, is not always true. Some people’s hearts become hardened. Some people hold onto wrath, a desire for revenge, and persistent delusional thinking.
If she does not change, or repent, she will likely die in prison. Even sadder, is that she will have had more than forty years to reflect, and show remorse, repentance, and a change of heart.
For those who condemn the victims, and support what she did, I find it incredible. When a marriage splits up, it takes two to make it happen. It is most unfortunate, and adultery is a common cause. Faithfulness cannot be mandated, or forced. It is a character trait, and in some cases, a person is in so much misery in a marriage, they are seeking a catalyst to end it.
However, a woman scorned, is no reason to unleash a barrage of hellfire onto a family, anymore than femicide is justified for whatever twisted reasons.
Repentance, self control, emotional management, to include forgiveness – are the only paths to getting over hurt and betrayal. Anger is a very real emotion, and it has to be worked through in non destructive ways.
Perhaps some of the worst examples of human behaviours stem from the notion that adults with more power, have the right to punish other adults for their misdeeds, or perceived misdeeds. Perhaps Dan should not have fined Betty for each of her transgressions, but instead might have chosen to leave it to the police, and courts do deal with her. All of his actions exacerbated her indignation, and tipped the balances of power even further.
The idea of having the authoritative power of punishment over other adults, is immoral. People have free will, and are allowed to set boundaries, or to leave a relationship, if they choose to. Dan Broderick no longer wanted to be with Betty. There was no way she could have forced him to change his mind. There was no way he could have forced her to accept his choice.
In other situations where there are power imbalances, financial punishment is one thing. But often children, grandchildren, and family roles, are taken away as part of the punishment, and abuse of power.
This is what the bible describes as iniquity, or unfair and corrupt treatment against those who are weaker or poorer. God promises many times throughout the entire bible, this will not go unpunished. Vengeance and judgment belongs to God, not to people. We do have laws, but some things are so devious, they are not distinguishable by the laws.
There is no excuse for violence or murder. There is also no justification in punishing another adult for the legitimate choices they make. Betty Broderick abused power more than anyone else in the entire saga. It is especially grievous if those abusing power target familial relationships, and use the weaker members (children) as pawns in the conflict.
Many people lack remorse, and refuse to admit wrongdoing. They carry out their punishments toward others willfully, and without remorse. Like Betty, they seriously believe their victims deserve mistreatment, and punishment. They do so at their own peril. Eventually all injustices will come to light.
In addition to setting boundaries, people do have the right to exercise their rights using the courts. Sometimes people abuse the process. When it comes to those who are truly cunning, and manipulative, it is a hard act to follow. Things become layered, and increasingly complex, especially as the years go by.
The most bitter battles revolve around those who have a lot of money. Sometimes excessive wealth is not all it is cracked up to be. It puts blinders on people. Instead of elevating, or edifying the bar of human ethics, and behaviours, it tends to lower the bar, right to the bottom of the barrel.
As it says in the bible, the root of all evil, is the love of money. It is not money, but rather, the love of money, that leads to evil. When you think about the root of so much evil, it is absolutely mind boggling.
For those who do see their own wrongdoing, and repent, they no longer walk in darkness. They allow their sinful ways to come under scrutiny. They are willing to show true remorse, and repentance, which leads to a change of heart. Otherwise, their hearts become hardened, and the obvious wrongdoing is obliterated from their own understanding.
We do make the choice, and we are all told to repent. Betty Broderick is an example of what kind of person the unrepentant person becomes. It is not a pretty sight.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Although antibiotics are needed for certain infections, for many years they were over prescribed, leading to the proliferation of superbugs. Overuse led to resistant strains, and a loss of efficacy for many antibiotics.
Antibiotics can also cause secondary health issues with the kidneys, and also interfere with normal gut biome, requiring months to recover.
This is not medical advice, just some preventative options for infections that are available in your kitchen cupboard, or local grocery store.
The development of antibiotic resistant strains of superbugs developed gradually over several decades. This led to stronger antibiotics like Vancomycin, which can have adverse effects on all systems of the body.
Most antibiotics are broad spectrum targeting both gram positive and gram negative bacteria. They are not effective against viruses, fungi, or many of the superbug resistant strains. In addition, they can cause fungal infections as a side effect. They disrupt the immune system in the gut, and can kill off normal bacteria in the mouth and throat.
Countless people take supplements, and find them to be very helpful. Vit D, especially in the winter, and occasional use of oregano oil, are probably the most common.
As it is with all pills, supplements require a certain amount of caution. Some of them cannot be mixed with prescription drugs. If taken to excess, some of them can cause problems with the liver, kidneys, or contribute to bleeding disorders.
In addition, supplements tend to be very expensive, and it is difficult to know the exact ingredients, or the amount of plant compound in each pill. If you want to take a range of herbs, it would mean you would have to buy fifteen or twenty bottles of supplements in capsule or pill form. Therefore, it makes more sense to just buy the herbs, and put them in your pantry for cooking, and for teas.
That way, you can regulate the amount, do not have to swallow a bunch of capsules, and can weed out anything you think might be causing gastric upset. For those who do have sensitivities, you can try the various herbs one tea at a time, before combining multiple herbs, and spices in a single teapot.
You can also do very specific research depending on what you are hoping to target in your own system. With all the advanced research, genetic testing, and ability to isolate the various compounds, you can delve into some very detailed University abstracts, in order to increase your knowledge about the power of herbal plant compounds.
The healthiest, and most cost effective option, might be to use herbs and spices in cooking, and in simmering teas, using a variety of beneficial herbs and spices.
If you Google each and every spice on this list, you will learn that each one contains unique properties. They are loaded with trace minerals, antioxidants, anti-inflammatories, antimicrobials, anti-fungals, and even anti-viral potent plant compounds. Many also have immune boosting properties.
There is a list of fifteen anti-viral herbs on the healthline website. These are oregano, sage, basil, fennel, garlic, lemon balm, peppermint, rosemary, echinacea, sambucus (from elderberries), licorice, astragalus, ginger, ginseng, curcumin, and dandelion.
Other websites go into detailed research abstracts listing many more plants with antiviral compounds, and will also give a history of their uses in ayurvedic and ancient Chinese medicine.
Plants with anti-fungal compounds as listed on the Science Direct website include: turmeric, nutmeg, ginger, clove, oregano, cinnamon, anise, fennel, basil, black cumin, and black pepper.
Many of the herbs and spices have overlapping compounds that target various microbes.
There is a long list of antibacterial herbs and spices, along with more in-depth research on the efficacy against a wide range of microbes. Some are more effective against food born pathogens, while others target a variety of infectious diseases, to include respiratory infections.
If you research each of the individual plants and spices, you will find thyme, cardamon, parsley, nettle, chamomile, and many others that can help prevent, treat or stave off infections.
For topical applications, more and more research is coming out on the benefits of using castor oil, on everything from joint pain, to infections. If you add a few drops of antimicrobial essential oils, you will create a very effective, and inexpensive topical ointment.
In addition to the many health benefits, you can grow herbs, some of which turn into prolific bushes and shrubs. A sage plant will grow quite large in a container, and can be brought indoors for the winter. You just have to pluck off the leaves to use in teas, or for cooking.
To make a potent antimicrobial tea, I bought a small metal teapot with a strainer in the top of it to add all the herbs. I put a cinnamon stick in the main part of the teapot. In the top portion I put cloves, black peppercorn, cardamon, ginger, thyme, basil, parsley, oregano, nettle, peppermint, cumin, turmeric, rosemary, sage, cloves, and a small amount of nutmeg. After pouring boiling water to fill the teapot, it simmers on the stove for about ten or fifteen minutes.
Even though there is quite a mix of flavours, it is not unpleasant. Although I have not experienced any adverse effects, we are all unique. All people need to experiment, and avoid anything that causes allergies, stomach upset etc. I do not put astragalus in the tea, because I don’t like the taste of it.
It is also important to use a small quantity of each herb, and be extra cautious with nutmeg, licorice, cinnamon, and even ginger. If taken to excess they can cause toxicity, gastric distress, a strain on the liver and kidneys, a drop in blood pressure, or cardiac arrhythmias.
For these reasons, an excess of any single plant compound, or the over use of supplements that contain high doses of specific plants, can be unhealthy. I use a small amount of each herb, similar to when cooking, and only drink a cup of the tea each day, after dental procedures, or to ward off colds and flus.
It is important to drink plenty of water as a daily habit, to help dilute what we ingest. The avoidance of alcohol is a major health incentive. Some people believe caffeine should be avoided as well, but the general consensus is that caffeine in moderation is not harmful, and might even be beneficial.
The use of garlic in cooking, as well as experimenting with the various herbs in food preparation can also enhance the health benefits.
A word of caution for those who take any prescription medications, or have allergies, do very careful research before adding anything to your diet. Be especially mindful of the fat soluble vitamins A-D-E-K. They dissolve in fats and oils, are absorbed by the body, and stored in fatty tissue and the liver. Vitamin K is an essential vitamin for clotting.
Water soluble vitamins, which are all B vitamins as well as vitamin C, will dissolve in water, and if taken to excess will be excreted by the kidneys. A depletion, or excess of potassium can lead to fatal cardiac arrhythmias.
Foods rich in potassium include potatoes, spinach, bananas, avocados, lentils, cantaloupe, oranges, chicken, salmon, tomatoes, and nuts. So it is not hard to get adequate potassium in a whole food diet.
The reason black licorice can be dangerous, is because it contains the compound glycyrrhizin, which can alter sodium, potassium, and cortisol levels. If taken to excess, it can cause cardiac arrhythmias, and a significant increase in blood pressure. It has been used for centuries as a medicine with claims to aid digestion, and as an anti-inflammatory, for coughs, and sore throats. It is very important not to take it to excess. It has a long half life, and can take up to a month to be excreted and cleared from the body.
Cinnamon can also be toxic if taken to excess, as it can mimic the effects of insulin, dropping the blood sugar. It can also cause liver damage due the coumarin in it. Coumarin is not to be confused with curcumin, which is the active ingredient in turmeric.
Turmeric should not be taken in excess either, as it too, can cause injury to the liver. Because of the anti-inflammatory benefits, some supplement sellers will advise people to take large doses. But it is better to be cautious, and use small amounts in conjunction with other anti-inflammatories.
Nutmeg is another potentially toxic spice. It is generally used in small amounts for flavouring eggnog, and in baked goods. If taken to excess it can cause tachycardia, nausea, agitation, and hallucinations. However, if taken in small amounts, it has benefits. It is an anti-inflammatory, has antioxidants, provides pain relief, and contributes to brain health.
The interesting thing about herbs and spices, is that each one has very distinctive properties. The key is moderation. We tend to think if something helps inflammation or infection, and is natural, then more of it must be better. Nothing could be further from the truth. The potency of the plant compounds, and the many variants must always be considered.
Some weight loss, and immune building health gurus will sell secret recipes, or make wild claims on the efficacy of certain herbal products. Avoid anything that does not provide a full, detailed list of what is in the tea, or supplement. Be wary of those who make claims of miracle healing, or rapid weight loss etc. Be very suspicious of anyone who promotes large or excessive doses of any plant compound, herb or spice.
The problem with supplements in pill form, is not only in the concentrated high dosages, and potential for toxicity. There are similarities with Big Pharma in that there is a profit motive, which can erode the health benefits, and lead to worse, not better outcomes.
Supplements are big business, and also lead us to believe we just need to pop a handful of pills or capsules to keep ourselves healthy. For years, women faithfully took calcium supplements, because of marketing hype claiming they prevented osteoporosis.
However, too much calcium can lead to heart issues, brain issues, kidney stones, muscle weakness, weaker bones, and digestive issues. Furthermore, it has been proven that taking calcium supplements does not prevent or reduce bone fractures in post menopausal women. So why take calcium supplements?
Calcium is abundant in many foods. It is in all dairy products, cheese, milk, yoghurt, etc. It is also abundant in canned fish, seeds (chia, sesame, flax), all leafy greens, soy milk, squash, okra, potatoes, canned tomatoes, tofu, broccoli, almonds, rhubarb, figs, oranges, and lentils, as just some examples.
If you take a certain herb, and develop gastric upset, a headache, skin rash, fatigue, or any other adverse effect, stop taking it. For instance, probiotics can be harmful for some people. They can weaken the immune system, increase the chance for infections, give you headaches, and certain probiotics can cause harmful microorganisms to proliferate in the gut.
Apple cider vinegar, if taken to excess can also be harmful, leading to the erosion of tooth enamel, and gastric upset. Yet you will see people promoting it as some kind of miracle cure. Personally, I do not like the idea of drinking vinegar.
Nutrients do wonders for our health, but it is mostly based on whole foods, gut biome, and the judicious use of herbs, spices and essential oils.
To enhance the antimicrobial benefits, you can drink the tea of your choice, with a teaspoon of Manuka honey. Although it is expensive, it is also rich in antimicrobial properties, and can be used in wound healing as well.
The old adage “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is very applicable today, as we head into the Christmas season where the exposure, and the stress levels tend to increase.
None of this is intended to be medical advice. It is just a brief outline, and an encouragement to do some research, and learn about the many benefits of herbs and spices that are available in your kitchen cupboard.
Learning more about the benefits of plant compounds, helps to enhance our understanding, and many uses of the wonderful, and aromatic herbs we can simmer in a pot of soup, and add to our culinary repertoire.
I recently listened to many awesome versions of the song “Swing Low Sweet Chariot”. One of the versions I was not familiar with is by The Dustbowl Revival. It is well worth adding to a playlist.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Few things are more controversial or intensely debated than literalism, versus symbolism in the bible. It seems there is a definitive category of those who fall into one camp or the other. One side claims the bible must be taken literally, and the other insists it is all symbolism, or metaphorical.
Given there is a mix of symbolism and literalism, there is another very large group of people who cannot differentiate what is to be taken literally, and what is to be taken symbolically.
There should not be any controversy over it, as there is plenty of evidence to demonstrate the bible is rich in both literalism, and figures of speech.
This includes historical descriptions of facts, events and prophecy. In addition, there is metaphor, poetry, simile, metonymy (a word that stands for a closely related word), litotes (affirming something by negating the opposite), irony, alliteration (repeating consonant sounds at the beginning of words), assonance (repeating vowel sounds within words). There is also the use of analogy, allegory, personification, apostrophe, hyperbole, and anthropomorphism.
Probably most well recognized, are the many parables used throughout the bible. Some of the parables carry figures of speech, or allegorical elements within them.
Other figures of speech used are idioms, euphemism, and one called synecdoche, which is the only one I have never heard of before.
Synecdoche is similar to metonymy. Metonymy is a substitution of a word for one that is closely related to it. For example, a dish is a substitute for a plate of food. The crown is a metonymy for the Royal Family, and the White House represents the president’s administration.
Whereas synecdoche is when part of something is mentioned that refers to the whole, such as mouths to feed, or faces in the crowd.
Figures of speech are used liberally throughout the bible, in order to help us better understand spiritual truths. For example the bible itself is described as the word of God.
Metaphorically, it is described in Psalm 119:105 as “a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path”. In Luke 8:11 in the parable, the seed is the word of God. Bread and water are also metaphors for the word of God. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, and in Jeremiah 23:29 it is described as a fire. “Is not my word like fire declares the Lord.”
But notice in the verse from Jeremiah that it says the word is like a fire, and like a hammer. Those are definite examples of simile, giving the “like a fire” and “like a hammer” descriptives.
With metaphor, there is a description without using like or as, such as in John 15:5 “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing”.
In this case we know it is metaphor, because we understand we are not literally branches. We also can easily grasp the concept of our connection to, and dependency on God. So we understand the verse, even though it uses a vine and fruit as a concept.
Those who claim the bible is to be taken literally, are missing many key points, and figures of speech.
The use of figures of speech are also used in many other written works, to increase meaning, creativity, and add a richness to reader’s experience.
In contrast to symbolism, the bible is also grounded in literalism throughout all sixty-six books. The bible contains many historical facts, and locations, describing things that happened throughout history.
For example, the bible describes relationships between people literally, such as Abel and Cain being the sons of Adam and Eve, and James being the brother of Jesus. The lineage as described throughout the bible is to be taken literally.
When it talks about the locations of where certain events took place, births, deaths, kings, etc. those are all literal, in that they are statements of fact, without the use of figures of speech.
Therefore, it is very obvious the bible contains a mix of symbolism and literalism. We also must acknowledge the relevance of the bible being written by forty divinely inspired authors, over a period of fifteen hundred years. Each of the authors had distinct personalities, unique gifts, and writing styles.
When I hear arguments trying to make the claim the bible is to be taken literally, it seems incredible how anyone could make such a statement. How do they explain all the beasts, horns, and descriptions of the various different empires? For instance, the bear represents the Medo-Persian empire, as a symbol of strength.
The lion represents power, bravery and leadership, such as the lion in the Tribe of Judah. The eagle represents the Roman Empire.
The Book of Daniel, and the Book of Revelation are filled with symbolic imagery describing empires, kingdoms, etc. throughout the ages. Without recognizing this, we cannot possibly interpret what the bible means. We cannot take all of it literally, or it would not make any sense.
Likewise, we cannot take what is literal, and insist it is figurative or symbolic. If we do, we will become hopelessly lost in our understanding of its reality, meaning, and historical significance. We will also lose sight of the intent, as well as the application, and instructions for our daily lives.
Recently I listened to Jordan Peterson describe the bible as being metaphorical to include Jesus, as being symbolic of what is good, etc. But he does not say the same things in all of the multitude of discussions he has on the topic, so it is not clear what he believes.
I know his interpretations are quite fluid, in that they are always changing, and vary, depending on who is interviewing him, and how they word the questions. But overall, he does seem to lean toward claiming the entire bible is symbolic, or metaphor, an archetype, etc. This is not a true representation of symbology in the bible.
One thing I have often noticed about Jordan Peterson, is that he never seems to answer a question directly, or with simplicity, but rather, with an over abundance of words. If he is asked if he believes in Jesus as the Son of God, and personal saviour – you will not get a straight answer. Why not simply say yes or no?
People should be wary, as this can be a tool of deception, and confusion. Although I do not dispute he is a smart guy, excessive use of words, is not always a symptom of a superior intellect, or honest intentions. Proverbs 10:19
“19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.”
Ecclesiastes 5:2-3: Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.
3 For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.
It could be that Jordan Peterson has a convoluted way of working his way through things, in relation to his own beliefs, and biblical interpretations. But he does have a greater responsibility, because he is so highly esteemed for intellectual prowess and wisdom. Personally, I do not view him as being as brilliant or as intellectual as some people do. But I do recognize his achievements, and that he has many followers.
When attributing symbolism to the entire bible, it very quickly refutes known historical facts, most importantly, the virgin birth of Christ, His ministry here on earth, His crucifixion, and His resurrection. Such a view of the bible would also deny the role of the Apostles, and what happened in their lives.
Symbolism can be confused with spiritualism. Just as it is in the physical realm, the spiritual realm also has many symbolic descriptions.
Those who choose to view the bible as strictly metaphorical can take the liberty to deny any, or all of the historical elements as well, to include the Garden of Eden, the great flood, and Noah’s Ark, the fire and brimstone that rained down on Sodom and Gomorrah, and so on.
But those who claim it is all metaphor cannot explain the historical facts, some of which still exist, like Jacob’s well. The bible also gives detailed historical accounts of many wars, conflicts, kings, and characters known to have existed.
So clearly, the bible cannot be all metaphor, and nor can it be viewed as all literalism. This means, we have to be able to discern what is to be taken literally, and what is metaphorical, or figures of speech used to enhance our understanding.
The bible also contains certain mysteries, which reinforces why we must have faith, and put our trust in God. Sometimes we have to wait, and be patient, before certain things are revealed to us. We do not fully grasp God’s plans, or His timing.
Along these lines, we will find countless disagreements, so it is up to us to read the bible, pray for discernment, and do our best to figure it out. God’s purpose for our lives, is not the same for each one of us. We are given different gifts, and are called according to His purpose, not ours.
The scholars tend to rely on their own intellectual abilities, and are as likely to get it wrong as anyone else. Then there is a group, who tend to make it fit what they want to believe, or reject what they do not want to believe.
Those who do not want to believe there will be a 1000 year reign of Christ, will simply say the verses describing it are metaphor, or symbolic of a spiritual millennial reign.
However, when differentiating literal from symbolic, there are clues, such as “it was like a thousand years, or as if, or compared to. Some people compare the verse about the millennial 1000 years as described in Revelation to where God says he owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Psalm 50:10
Recently, I was listening to a bible scholar give a very long-winded view on biblical interpretation. Believe it or not, it was a sixteen hour presentation. I think I got through eight to ten hours before I quit listening to him altogether.
The reason I quit listening, is because he denied the 1000 year reign of Christ based on a comparison he made to Psalms 50:10-11. He said the 1000 year reign is symbolic, just as the verse in Psalms is symbolic. He went on to query: Does God own the cattle on a just 1000 hills? What about the 1001 hill? In my opinion, such a question did not support his argument at all.
Even though this preacher had a stack of scholarly books beside him, and has written several books, it does not mean he is drawing divine conclusions. There are many verses in the bible that support, and recapitulate other verses. But we do have to be able to see what does, and what does not relate to another verse.
That comparison derailed the confidence I had in what this man had to say, for the same reasons I don’t pay much attention to what Jordan Peterson has to say about the bible.
As brilliant as they might be, if they over intellectualize, or make the bible fit whatever belief system they have crafted out – it is not going to lead to the truth, or the actual meaning. They are simply giving an opinion, carefully crafted to fit what they want it to fit, based on their own mind, thinking, and understanding.
Above all, we should be receptive to the truth, test all things, and remain humble concerning our own limited understanding, and the possibility we could be wrong, or mistaken. We are supposed to seek the truth, and not lean toward our own understanding.
In Psalm 50:10-11 as soon as God says he owns the cattle on a 1000 hills, he immediately followed up by adding that all the fowls of the mountains, and beasts are his as well. He made it clear that yes, all of the cattle are his.
To say He owns the cattle on a 1000 hills, is meant to impress upon us how vast and complete his ownership is, of all creation. How many people could actually go out and count a thousand hills, let alone the cattle on a thousand hills?
When hills are used as a timeline, it might be “as old as the hills” such as in Job 15:7
Does that verse, because it uses the word hills, and speaks of a certain timeline – relate to the cattle on a 1000 hills, or the 1000 year millennial reign, as described in Revelation? No, God is telling Job that He is the creator of all things, since long before Job was born.
How the verse in Psalms can be compared to the six verses in Revelation 20, that describe a 1000 year reign of Christ, binding Satan for 1000 years, etc. is beyond me. The 1000 years is used six times in a row.
4 And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and which had not worshipped the beast, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their foreheads, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years.
6 Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first resurrection: on such the second death hath no power, but they shall be priests of God and of Christ, and shall reign with him a thousand years.
Where does it indicate this 1000 year time frame is a metaphor, or symbolic language?
Many preachers, and teachers will adamantly claim this is a metaphorical or symbolic reign of Christ. I do not read it that way at all, as there is no indication to give us the framework of it being a figure of speech.
The verses in Revelation are not followed up with as, or like, or with a statement of symbolic timeframes. The verse in Psalms does not lead us to believe God owns a limit of “the cattle on a 1000 hills”, because he immediately expands on the meaning to include all living things. It is pretty clear, he was not limiting, or literally counting what he owned.
For those who do believe the verses in Revelation about the 1000 year reign as being symbolic, I wonder how they view the verses about the weapons of war being turned into pruning hooks? Or what about the verses in Isaiah 11:6-9? Those verses are supporting the millennial reign of Christ, by describing what the earth will be like during that time frame.
This is where we look to, and find other verses that support the same concepts. Even though the following verses do not mention the 1000 year timeframe, they support the description of what the earth will be like, when Christ returns to bring peace and restoration to the earth.
There are many verses that describe the peaceful reign of Christ when he returns to the earth. For those who claim it is metaphor, they might as well claim our existence is metaphor too.
It does not make sense to claim Christ’s entire ministry is symbolic. Just as it does not make sense to claim His return to this earth, or Second Coming, is symbolic. It was a literal reality when He came the first time, not metaphor, and not symbolism, but actual physical events that took place.
The same can be applied to what we can look forward to when He returns. When He was here the first time, it was for very specific reasons. When He returns, it too, will be for the unfolding of God’s overall plan. Christ will be conquering evil, abolishing deceptions, ruling over all things, bringing peace, truth, and restoration to God’s people.
Once He returns, the bible describes what comes next. The Second Coming is not a symbolic, metaphorical promise. Every knee shall bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. The Book of Revelation, is about the revelation of Jesus Christ. It is intended to bring us hope.
When the verse in Isaiah says the lion will eat straw like an ox – the metaphor is structured so we can envision a lion being peaceful, and not inclined to attack or eat its prey. It is structured that way so we can conceptualize the peace, lack of fear, and difference between what we expect a lion to act like, versus what one will act like during the millennium. It is not an all-encompassing metaphor, as though it is a Disneyland movie. It is a partial figure of speech, and it is assumed we can figure it out.
How do they explain that Satan is bound, and then released after a 1000 years? He is bound so he cannot deceive the nations any longer, so he is bound for a specific reason, and a specific time frame. There is no language that points to a figure of speech surrounding this either.
If people resort to calling actual events metaphors, then the sky is the limit. There is no reality, outside whatever you want it to be.
Our world is rife with false, and destructive doctrine, pretending to be truth. God made it very clear, we are not to follow false doctrine, or to add anything, or take anything away from the original bible. Even though many of the false teachers do not seem to think they will be punished, or held accountable for their false teaching, they should read up on, it and find out what the bible says about this too.
As terrible as things have been this past year in the Middle East, at least it is making more people aware of the hazards of Christian Zionism, and its origins in dispensational false teaching. The bible does not say the Jews are the chosen people. It does not claim there are two separate groups of people among God’s people. Nor does it say there is a separation of the State of Israel. It does not say there will be a pre tribulation rapture, or that there will be a rebuilding of the temple, and return to animal sacrifice. Nor does it say there is a seven year tribulation, or that the bible is divided into seven distinct dispensations.
Dispensationalists tend to lean toward literalistic interpretations, and false doctrine based on an altered version of the bible by Darby and Scofield in the 1800’s and early 1900’s. In spite of the fact this is obviously a man made, destructive doctrine, it has permeated, and corrupted the churches. This has led to a great deal of financial support to keep the conflict in Israel alive, as well as to increase the provision of weapons, and promotion of violence.
Personally, I do not think we should take sides in such conflicts. It is poorly understood, very complex, with a significant amount of history leading up to it. From a biblical perspective, it seems to go back to the conflict that began between Jacob and Esau, as opposed to being what the dispensationalists have made it out to be.
What about all the prosperity gospel false teaching, or the word of faith movement that claims all people can be healed? It is false teaching. If all people could be healed through such claims, no one would die, and there would be no need for doctors or hospitals. Likewise, the prosperity gospel is promising that if you give money, God will give you huge rewards. They simply want to dupe you into sending them money. They have no control over who God blesses, or how He goes about it.
We would all be wise to recognize that scripture can be twisted, or altered, to suit a deceptive agenda. That is why we are repeatedly warned not to be deceived.
In the bible, there is certain symbolism that is difficult to interpret. But the differentiation between what is symbolism, and what is literal, in my opinion, is not that difficult to interpret.
One of the central messages of the bible is telling us in no uncertain terms to repent. If we are Christians, we need to recognize our own sin, mistakes, and vanity.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
When our understanding fails us, or if we struggle along the lines between meaning, method, and metaphor – Christ has promised all believers he will show us the truth. We can have confidence in John 14:6:
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The song Amazing Grace is probably one of the most well known hymns of all time. We listen to the versions of this beautiful song by famous singers like Diana Ross, Aretha Franklin, Alan Jackson, LeAnn Rhymes, Carrie Underwood, Judy Collins, The Byrds, Willie Nelson, and Elvis Presley. But we may not know the origin of the song, or some of the history that led to its creation.
Arlo Guthrie sang Amazing Grace at Woodstock in 1969. It became a message of change during the peak of the Vietnam war.
Johnny Cash aptly claimed the song, in its three minute duration, frees the person, and frees the spirit.
The US Library of Congress has a collection of over 3000 published recordings of the song Amazing Grace. The first professional recording was in 1922 by the Sacred Harp Choir. Since then it has been recorded more than 7000 times.
To take it back to its origin, it was first written in lyrics without music by John Newton in 1772. John Newton was an Anglican minister in Britain, and wrote the lyrics for a sermon he gave on New Year’s Day in 1773. He believed it was a good time to share the lyrics, as New Year’s represents a time of new beginnings.
Prior to his conversion, John Newton was involved in, and captained a ship during the cross Atlantic slave trade. The song was written with heartfelt humility, once he fully realized all the loathsome things he had done.
In addition, he had a near death experience in 1748, during a violent storm off the coast of Ireland. He cried out to God when he thought he was about to be shipwrecked. The storm was so intense, the ship was tossed around, and several crew members were swept overboard.
John Newton prayed in desperation, and managed to reach the shore safely. He later described this as a time of transformation, and the beginning of his redemption, as well as the repentance for all the despicable things he had done, and been a part of.
It was written as a poem before being put to music. One of Newton’s critics, Jonathan Aitken mocked the simplicity of the verse, saying it was written by “a middlebrow lyricist for a lowbrow congregation”. He pointed out that only twenty one, of nearly one hundred and fifty words, in six verses, have more than one syllable.
Jonathan Aitken was a British author, and journalist, former Church of England Priest, and a Conservative politician serving between 1974 until 1997.
In my opinion, the only reason he would have made such comments is through a lack of appreciation of the simplicity of poetry. Poetry is skeleton verse, or language, and the power of it is embodied in the simplicity. To create such powerful, and meaningful lyrics using a structure of mostly one syllable words, is a feat, not a flop.
Aitken’s lack of appreciation for poetry, and limited knowledge about lyrics, makes him more lowbrow than the congregation he claimed it was written for. In poetry and lyrics, the more the superfluous words can be stripped away, the greater the meaning. Poetry is the expression of complex ideas, in a nutshell, or a seed case. It provides an eloquent and vital summation on a topic with immense meaning.
It is interesting to note that Jonathan Aitken was accused of misdeeds under his official government capacity, by the Guardian newspaper. He sued the newspaper for libel, but was unsuccessful. He ended up being charged with perjury during his trial, and was sentenced to eighteen months in prison. He was released after serving just over half the sentence. It sounds like he too, needed to gain an understanding of the meaning of God’s grace in his own life.
Even if the Amazing Grace lyrics were directed at the simplest, lowbrow minds – it still served to uplift its meaning to the heights of human achievements in lyrics, and poetry.
We do not have to be elitist, or highbrow to receive God’s gift of grace. In fact, the essence of the meaning of grace, is that we are all lowly, and undeserving, and can do nothing on our own merit to be worthy of God’s grace. That is precisely why this song captures the true meaning of God’s grace.
John Newton wrote the lyrics from the depths of his own soul, and the recognition of his own dreadful actions. He aligned it with the power of Christ’s forgiveness, and sanctification, in spite of the overwhelming conviction of all he had done wrong.
Following his conversion, John Newton joined forces with the political movement to abolish the slave trade, which led to the Slave Trade Act in 1807. This is interesting, because it provides confirmation that once we repent, there is a change in the direction of our lives. It is the change within us that brings about good works after we receive the gift of God’s grace.
John Newton, after his conversion, wrote more than sixty hymns. Initially, Amazing Grace was not recognized as being among his greatest hymns.
More than twenty musical settings for Amazing Grace circulated, without any particular one taking root. In 1835, more than sixty years after it was written, American composer William Walker used an amalgamation of two different melodies, to create the music for the song. Once the lyrics were joined with a melody well suited to the words, it became a match made in heaven.
Amazing Grace became a popular song throughout the US, and resonated throughout revivals. It was relatable to people, from the uneducated, to the elite. It was sang by sharecroppers in the fields, at funerals, and at church services. It was recorded by thousands of musicians in all genres of music.
Once Walker put the song to music, it immediately sold over 600,000 copies, when the US population was only 20 million people.
The result was the combination of simple but powerful lyrics, with the full range of meaning manifested in the melody, with perfect crescendo, and clarity in the proclamation of salvation through grace. It has reached millions of people in every nation, far and wide, with a robust Gospel message.
Surely it is one song that was divinely inspired, and ultimately reached its fruition, in all it was meant to be.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Spiritual abuse can have devastating and long term consequences for the victims of this type of abuse. Because it does not leave physical evidence, it is more difficult to define, prosecute, or escape the abuse.
The methods of dominance and control often involves excessive guilt, threats, scapegoating, and the use of force. The victim is treated as bad, inferior, or subhuman – requiring intervention and punishment. This is how the perpetrators justify the abuse, which is a similar pattern seen in domestic violence. It is all about power, dominance and control.
They want to force you to surrender your mind, your thoughts, your identity, and your will to them, and the demands they make.
Spiritual abuse is defined as a form of religious trauma used to control, harm or scare the victim into obedience or subservience. It can also be used to exploit, entrap, make demands upon, and force involuntary gratitude.
The tactics used are shaming, brain washing, false accusations, thought reform, scapegoating, twisting scripture, and excessive amounts of manipulation and deception. This is all carried out from a place of profound superiority, judgement, and by placing themselves on a religious pedestal. They are filled with pride over their own religious beliefs, even though they are clearly unbiblical, and off-base.
Nothing can shake their arrogance, or position of absolute power. They are untouchable, and above the laws. They can do whatever they want to do, under the dark cloak of their dictatorial religious disguise.
The resulting psychological, emotional, and spiritual trauma is deep rooted, and long lasting, as it is designed to be. It takes many years to unravel this kind of abuse, as it is often foisted upon the victim by a person with power, authority, and more respect in the community than the victim has.
Millions of people have been subjected to religious abuse over the centuries. It affects those who are born into cults, are deceived into joining cults, to family violence, and abuse of power by those in families, schools, churches etc.
The victim faces an uphill battle to disentangle the mess that results in this type of bondage, and illicit use of force. The scars, and patterns of coping with such abuse can, and will adversely affect the person’s health, and every relationship in his or her life.
Unfortunately such abuse often leads to a complete rejection of all religion, instead of simply rejecting the wolves in sheep’s clothing, without blaming it on God.
God has granted all of us free will, especially when it comes to what we choose to believe. God never forces a relationship, never deceives people, and does not abuse anyone. Therefore to misplace the blame, and allow the perpetrator to destroy our faith, is an outcome the enemy wants, so why let him win?
The purpose of religious abuse is to destroy. It is intended to destroy our soul for all eternity. It is intended to destroy our faith, and trust in God. It is evil masquerading as good. It is the ultimate deception.
Their objective is to molest your mind, without facing consequences.
What they view as powerless, makes you an easy mark. They use classic, well honed bullying tactics, and have no shame when attacking a weaker person.
They believe their motives are cleverly concealed, when in reality, many people question what is going on, and how the relationship came about. The lies cannot be denied, when brought under the least bit of scrutiny. In addition, many people were witnesses to the use of force, or obvious conflict of interest, and abuse of power.
All of your relationships, especially family relationships, become pawns in their game.
There is a strong financial motive, which is paramount when choosing their targets.
Those who inflict such trauma and abuse onto others, often go unpunished, but the bible assures us this type of abuse, and devious deception, will not escape God’s wrath.
It usually takes years before the victim can identify, and articulate the abuse they have been subjected to. They may be deceived into thinking they deserve the abuse, or must adapt to the conditions that have defined their life. They have been indoctrinated with a false belief that they have no choice in the matter.
To help identify the abuse, some key points are to be examined surrounding the relationship with the abuser or abusers.
The use of guilt and shame to control behaviour.
Strict gender roles with a strong emphasis on male superiority over women and children.
Fear based teaching, including fear of rejection.
Excommunication and shunning.
They will alternate shame and humiliation, with telling the victim they are very special, and God’s gift to them. If there is obedience and compliance, they are very proud, and as a victim, it makes you even more special. They believe this false praise will increase the attachment to them, and provide a temporary increase in self-esteem. They are so puffed up with their own self importance, they will attempt to control a person’s self-esteem, using these deviant tactics. It is all based on intentional, willful manipulation and coercion.
They do not view it as victimization. They actually believe you deserve the abuse, and will mock your gullibility. They view this as a clever way to deal with errant disobedience, and what they view as the need for intervention. They are proud of what they see as outsmarting a victim.
Repression of critical thinking. You know it is wrong. It makes no sense, but yet you are powerless to change the lies, shaming, scapegoating or outlandish claims.
Physical, sexual, financial, psychological, or intentional infliction of emotional abuse. This includes the domination, power and control used to cover up prior abuses.
The intentional degrading of a person’s self worth.
The refusal to take no for an answer is a dehumanizing example of those who abuse power, especially when they will not take no for an answer from another adult.
The refusal to allow the victim to set healthy boundaries.
They will instil a belief that they have a right to oversee, monitor and punish you. They will lock an adult into the role of a helpless child.
Gaslighting, to include attacking your memories, and your mental health for refuting their lies.
Manipulation, including the skillful manipulation of others to carry out their agenda.
Ganging up on a person, using manipulation, lies, and undue influence by those with more power, and authority than the victim has.
The power over another adult’s decision making. This is a major red flag. They are assuming they know what is best for you as an adult, when they have no right to take such a stance. Clearly from a spiritual perspective, such people do not even know what is best for themselves, let alone anyone else.
Taking away resources, including internal resources, and the trust in our own instincts, which allows us to recognize and avoid danger. Our instincts are critical to maintaining personal safety, autonomy, and self care. The abuser wants to rob every available initiative, including our trust in our instincts, in order to disable, and destabilize us. This warped method of attack, then serves to justify the shaming, if the victim fails to cope. They rule, yet all failure is attributed to the victim. How diabolically convenient.
The intentional infliction of trauma leading to complex PTSD, and difficulty navigating life’s difficulties
The creation of intentional barriers that prevent healing, forgiveness, and the right to address the family of origin issues, abuses of power, and truth of the past.
The contrived and deceptive cloak of religious authority. They take on the role of the faux daddy-god.
The victim is ordered to have reverence and gratitude for the perpetrator, as though he is some sort of deity.
They will deny your past, while simultaneously locking you into an abusive past.
They will incessantly lie about their relationship with you, claiming falsehood upon falsehood.
The notion that a religious authority can condemn a person to eternal damnation, hellfire, or judgment.
The notion they can turn you into a complete outcast, and separate you from God, if you refuse to remain in a relationship with them. They set themselves up as a false god over your life.
The attempt to set up, or create a pretence that the religious authority, or perpetrator, is a member of the victim’s family, when clearly – they are not. Cult leaders do not magically become family members.
The attempt to keep us constantly busy serving them, and becoming a slave to their demands in every way. They will put you to work for them. They insist you serve them, and give endlessly, yet they give nothing in return. They think a pat on the head is a sufficient reward for serving the deity.
The false claim that they are your adoptive family, is expected to be taken as the ultimate compliment. It is another way they mimic, and mock the truth of the true believer’s adoption into the family of God. There is no greater arrogance, or wickedness, than taking the seat of God, and proclaiming themselves to be God over another person’s life.
They will speak for God, not only through twisting scripture, but they will also proclaim what God told them to do about your life. Beware of anyone who tells you “God told me to adopt you.” or God told me you need intervention, punishment etc.” Do not believe anything they claim God told them to do. By all standards, including Christian standards, such claims are psychotic. People have committed atrocious crimes, based on what they claim are commands from God. We get our instructions on how to manage our own lives through the bible, and through prayer. God does not give orders to anyone to take control of, or seize hold of another person.
They actually believe they are what gives value to your life. They are your pseudo-saviour and rescuer. Except they are not attached to the bible, or to the boat. In reality, they are attached to the beast and the boast – as in being some sort of arrogant supreme beings.
They will use your empathy against you, and accuse you of hurting their feelings if you refute their outrageous lies, or try to set a boundary.
They will shame you for thinking your mother is your mother. Or for asserting who your family is, because they push the lie that they are family, while simultaneously denying the obvious truth.
They pretend to be normal, which is beyond comprehension, based on their actions, deception, attitudes, and brazen exploitation.
They will seek avenues of collusion within a fractured family, under a cloak of secrecy, and will plan your life behind your back, without even consulting with you.
They will plot to move in with you, and control every aspect of your life. This includes when and what you can eat, when and if you can go for a walk, and even when you can speak, and what you can talk about. They will control the narrative, and will obliterate your history, to create a fabrication of who you are, and where you came from. They are masters at coercive control.
If you complain about them, there is something seriously wrong with you, because they are so wonderful.
They have their own family, but they are so selfish, they have to infiltrate and create a pretence of also being the victim’s family when there is no relation whatsoever. This makes it so the victim has no avenue to escape them, as they will show up and take a place of pious importance at every family function. They will attach themselves to you with crazy glue.
Identity assault. You are not who you think you are. The perp defines who you are.
They shame your existence, especially your mother, as the origin of your existence.
They will violate almost every Commandment, yet you are supposed to view them as being superior Christians, or godly men.
They will shamelessly corrupt many systems in the process, whether it is a school, church, government ministry, or corporation they involve in the scam.
Brainwashing and the repeated intentional infliction of emotional abuse is a form of torture.
The perpetrators are sadistic in nature. They are unrepentant bullies. They will not stop the abuse when asked to. They will not admit to wrongdoing. They will not listen to your pleas to be released from the abuse.
Sadly when such perpetrators manipulate others into doing their bidding to continue such abuse, they form a cult mentality involving many other people.
This list is only a brief outline of the many vile spiritual, psychological and emotional abuses that a power abusing perpetrator can inflict on a victim.
In every way, they are attempting to impersonate God in your life. Nothing could be further from thetruth, but deception is the name of their game.
When a person is subjected to such abuses, it is a life sentence. Even though you may escape the trap, by the grace of God, others in your circle, and family circle, are still ensnared by the lies and abuse of power.
If lies are repeated often enough, they are believed by other people. If those with power have corrupted other people into the pseudo-religious, and spiritual abuse of another person, or a family member, often people who know about the abuse, do not have the courage to stand up to the abuse of power.
They are con artists. Every view and angle, is a con. They will set you up time and time again.
For those who are saddled with lifelong, and invasive spiritual abuse, it is an albatross like none other. How many lives, and families such selfish tactics have ruined, is anyone’s guess.
When it comes to forgiveness, religious abuse spanning years, or decades, must be one of the most difficult things to forgive. It is not only a matter of a transgression against the flesh. But it is a profoundly disturbing trespass against every level of our human existence, to include all relationships, especially our relationship with God.
Spiritual abuse is specifically designed to take away our identity in Christ, and our trust in Him. It is an extremist version of complete, soul destroying annihilation. Therefore, it is among one of the worst things anyone can do to another person.
From my own experience, being subjected to, and escaping such an abusive trap, it is not to be taken lightly. In my case, it was a macho teacher in a small town school who took on the role of a religious abuser.
It all began when I was a teenager, and student in a public school. He did everything I have described in this article, and more. To make matters worse, he embarked on the scheme just weeks after my younger brother was killed in a car accident – so of course, I was spiritually and emotionally vulnerable.
In my case, the teacher was not the least bit subtle. He used force, threats, and was a sadistic bully, even when I repeatedly pleaded with him to leave me alone. He stalked, and followed me around inside, and outside of the school. He forcibly confined me for hours on end many times. If I tried to run away from him – he chased me, and went ballistic with rage. He was the ultimate tough guy authoritarian. He was also a pathological liar.
To be clear, I did not ask him for anything at any time. I did not want a relationship outside of school, yet it was 100% obligatory. I felt I had no choice but to be polite, and adaptable in order to finish my education, and be able to be accepted by my own family and community. All I wanted was a normal life of some sort, especially a normal family life.
For many years, I believed, and prayed he/they would just mellow and drop the facade. I knew the truth was known to many others, including them, as it was very obvious. So how could this situation become so impossible to get out of?
I thought perhaps I could talk my way out of it, and reason with those involved. But, you cannot reason with spiritual abuse, and ingrained lies. You cannot point out the incontrovertible proof, because they shut up their ears, and will not listen to a word of it.
Even though you do not want to confront them, expose them, or ruin their reputation, they give you no choice. Just as it is with all other aspects of the relationship with them, they will not stop even when you do go to the the authorities. It takes multiple attempts, and a massive battle to get them out of your life once and for all.
For these reasons, my advice to those who have been victimized by spiritual abuse, turn away from it as soon as possible, shut that door, and lock it with chains, and deadbolts. Go to the authorities immediately, even if you fear retaliation.
Never allow them into your life again, in any capacity. Those who abuse power to such an extent, are push in predators. If you open the door a crack, they will push their way in, and invade your life all over again. This is one of the aspects that makes forgiveness so difficult. We can forgive, but we cannot allow them to take over our lives again. The bible clearly tells us to avoid such people.
Put your trust in God, and your identity in Christ where it belongs. This is a battle we cannot endure or fight on our own. It is a spiritual battle. Throughout the course of it, we may have to conclude we ourselves are weak and powerless.
But in truth, the perpetrators are powerless, because God has the power, and complete victory over every spiritual battle and stronghold.
I am eternally thankful to God for His power, and knowledge over all things. Nothing is hidden from God. We can give the burden of the years of spiritual abuse to God, and know he will protect, and save our soul.
Thankfully, this taught me that those who are steeped in the doctrine of dispensationalism, and hyper dispensationalism, are false teachers, heretics, and carry forward a litany of destructive falsehoods.
Of course they can believe what they choose to believe. But to force themselves onto others, especially a student in a public school, under a false teacher, false authority, and false religious pretences – is an unacceptable abuse of power, is unbiblical, and unlawful.
God will not permit anyone to destroy our soul. It is an example of His omnipotent power and love, and His divine promise of salvation, which by grace, He has given to those who put their trust in Him.
As far as the perpetrators are concerned, we must pray for their souls too, and pray to be shown the way to forgiveness and mercy.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Just because a drug is prescribed, does not mean it is good for us. In fact, prescription drugs are rapidly becoming a leading cause of death. Some of them might be necessary. Some are very difficult to get off of once they are started. Some are highly addictive, and others have more side effects than benefits. Almost all will interact with alcohol, other medications, and supplements, often with unknown and potentially catastrophic outcomes.
Over the years I have become increasingly skeptical of the idea we can find a pill to fix all our ailments. This is especially true for mental health disorders, and chronic pain. All pain, whether it is emotional or physical, is a signal to change something.
Whether it is the need to lose weight, do certain exercises, avoid toxic or draining relationships, change our outlook, or whatever- we should not rely on pills to maintain our health. If we look for a quick remedy, chances are it is only masking symptoms, and not helping the underlying cause. As we can see from what is going on all around us, drugs are often the problem, not the cure.
So many people who decide to avoid mainstream pharmaceuticals will opt to use supplements, or alternative medicines. YouTube and the Internet in general, is full of ads, and miracle cures promoting a wide variety of supplements.
People can fall into the mistaken belief that just because something is called natural, or herbal, or is a health based supplement with various minerals, to support or replace what we might be lacking, is a harmless endeavour. But it can be a huge mistake, if taken to the excess, or mixed with prescription, or OTC medications.
We do need minerals, but only in trace amounts. Many of the supplements have led to excessive bleeding, a build up of fat soluble vitamins, a massive strain on the liver and/or the kidneys, and disruptions in cardiac rhythms. The liver and kidneys must filter, and excrete all the excess vitamins and minerals we ingest.
Even certain healthy foods can cause extreme health problems. Brazil nuts, cinnamon, nutmeg, and black licorice, are just a few examples of food substances that cannot be taken to excess without serious health consequences. Knowing this, how much more can the excessive use of supplements disrupt the natural harmony of the body?
Do not fall for all the supplement promotions. They are trying to sell a product. Over the counter medications, all supplements, cannabis, and all kinds of preparations, tinctures etc. including what we put on our skin, will become absorbed by our system, and can lead to toxic buildups or reactions.
I used to believe cannabis was harmless, but now I think it too, must be used with extreme caution. It is especially so now that it is legalized, and turned into potent THC gummies, lollipops, etc. There is also a risk it could be contaminated with pesticides, and worse yet, laced with fentanyl. It has definitely changed over the years, and is now among the high risk substances. The higher potency cannabis can lead to psychosis, and dissociative reactions.
It has taken me a long time to come to the conclusion that total abstinence is the best approach, and if something is needed, use discernment and caution, no matter what it is. I have tremendous compassion for those who are addicted, and believe I have escaped a similar fate by the grace of God. So many people have died from drugs of all kinds.
Although alcohol is a social lubricant, and is safe to use for a percentage of people, it is not safe for all people. For those with addictive personalities, extreme grief reactions, hereditary predispositions, PTSD, childhood trauma, social anxiety, etc. alcohol can be deadly.
Alcohol is even more unpredictable, and volatile when taken with other substances. Unfortunately, the people who are the most vulnerable to the devastating effects, and pathologies surrounding alcohol use, are also the most likely to self-medicate with alcohol. If so, there is no lid on that bottle, as it insidiously turns into a bottomless pit.
As we age, we are much more prone to drug reactions, because our systems cannot metabolize drugs as efficiently as when we are younger. Often in LTC, or with elderly people presenting in ER, a dose of even 25 mg. of Demerol can lead to extreme agitation, and prolonged reactions.
One thing I distinctly noticed with LTC patients over the years, is that the fewer medications they were on, the more alert, and cognitively intact they were. Those who were on sleeping pills, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines, and opiates, were most likely to have severe cognitive decline, or wild and uncontrollable behaviours.
When people are adversely affected by poly pharmaceuticals, it becomes a chemical soup, and they become tormented. So many of the drugs take months, and even years to taper off. They suffer a myriad of debilitating effects from withdrawal, or develop movement disorders, which can crop up for years, or become permanent disabilities.
Benzodiazepines must be tapered very gradually, and in minute amounts, in order to maintain stability throughout the process. Antipsychotics are used far too liberally, and can lead to severe and permanent movement disorders, similar to Parkinson’s disease. Some of the movement disorders are very pronounced, such as spasms in the neck, rolling mouth movements, and twitching jerking movements that the person cannot control. Antipsychotics also interfere with dopamine neurochemistry, and therefore can be very depressing and difficult to quit.
With the rise of fentanyl, and labs in Canada producing massive amounts of fentanyl, we are living in perilous times. It is especially tragic for young people, because one of the traits of youth, is a sense of being invincible. Most people would be scared to death if they had a loaded gun pointed at their head, but they may not realize that a single pill, could be just as deadly.
We need more prevention, starting at an early age. We need more screening to help identify and offer supports for vulnerable youth. And above all, we need to stop relying on pills, or medication – to numb our pain. We have created intergenerational patterns of toxic drug use.
It is becoming such an astronomical problem, it is like a chemical doomsday, a giant black cloud that has rolled in, and cast a shadow on all of us. There is no one who is unscathed by this ruination of society. Families, communities, and a tragic loss of potential struggle to co-exist in this chemical wasteland.
I do not claim that vitamin D or C, or whatever else a person might take to improve how they feel, is part of drug addiction or drug dependency. It is just that we have often been sold a false assurance of a quick fix. We are led to believe that certain supplements are necessary, only to find out later they are not necessary, and instead can be harmful.
An example of this, is in all the calcium supplements that were pushed on menopausal women to prevent osteoporosis. We have since learned that calcium supplements increase the risk of heart attacks, and do not do much for bone density.
Everything from the benefits of statins, fluoride, supplements, and SSRI’s have frequently been debunked, as not being the least bit helpful. We eventually find out they were promoted based on faulty science, or marketing hype to promote sales.
As far as harmful addictions that result from drug dependency, there is a deeper emptiness, or prior trauma within people that predisposes us to addiction. We cannot overlook the importance of spiritual awareness, in helping ourselves, or our loved ones, to address this very precarious topic.
We do need the bible, and a strong faith to help overcome this tragic loss of life, along with the destruction of potential, and quality of life. Regardless of who mocks us, there is no other solution.
Prayer can change things. God has assured us, he will not leave us destitute. Jesus told his disciples we would have tribulation in this world, and to be comforted knowing He has overcome the world. He has also overcome Satan, hell, and death.
Without God, we are doomed to a drug den polluted with deadly toxins. Thankfully, in our darkest hour, we still have hope for our loved ones, ourselves, and all humanity. God’s grace has the power to reach all of us.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Autoimmune disorders happen to various systems of the body when our own immune system misinterprets what is happening, and overreacts in an unhealthy way. Through various mechanisms, it begins to attack or invade our own cells and tissues.
There are more than eighty autoimmune disorders. Some of the most common are rheumatoid arthritis, type 1 diabetes, multiple sclerosis, inflammatory bowel disease, lupus, psoriasis, several thyroid diseases, interstitial cystitis, various eye conditions, skin conditions, heart conditions, and so on.
The causes of autoimmune diseases are unknown, but there are certain common denominators. Women are affected the most, making up 80% of all autoimmune disorders. This points to an examination of either cultural roles, gender based genetic traits, or hormonal changes throughout our lifespans, specific to women’s health.
I watched a short speech on the topic by Gabor Mate, a well-known Canadian physician with a background in childhood trauma, addictions, and family medicine. He attributed autoimmune disorders to be more of a cultural phenomena based on the role of women in our society.
He also attributed autoimmune disorders to family of origin, and said there were four main characteristics of those who develop these conditions. (1) They tend to put other people’s emotional needs ahead of their own. (2) There is a strong identity with duty, responsibility, and role of caregiver, causing women to put the needs of others ahead of self-care. (3) Often women are expected to be nice, subservient, and pleasant. This leads to an inability to express or deal with healthy anger. The anger is often repressed and turned inward. (4) They tend to believe they are responsible for other people’s feelings.
This ties in with women who are in, or stay in abusive relationships. They are accustomed to being dominated, targeted, blamed and scapegoated for the unhealthy emotions of their partner. They come to believe they are responsible for his rage. If only they can be nice enough, good enough, or find ways to calm him down, they can somehow control his rage.
However, all this does is set up a pattern, and repeat cycle of domestic violence and abuse. She has to free herself of the toxic relationship and attitudes. She must completely disengage, and realize she is not responsible for his rage.
In some cases, we inadvertently develop self destructive tendencies toward our own bodies and health. We have to identify what we are doing to self sabotage, and make changes.
Gabor Mate gave an interesting four point short summary of a very complex, and widespread health problem. It makes sense in that chronic repressed emotions, especially that of anger, is bound to eventually cause health problems. When you consider diseases that attack our own body, we know there must be a dichotomy of self care along the continuum somewhere, even though we may not be consciously aware of the source, the cause, or the onset.
On one hand, there is the concept of being good, high in empathy, and a people pleaser. Self sacrifice is a good thing. Or is it?
One of the most important things to learn, is how to say no, and make it clear you actually mean it. When you cannot say no, or get it across that you are firmly saying no – it leads to a simmering rage. If your no, just means you get railroaded into saying yes, it becomes toxic.
The problem with self sacrifice is that we are probably not setting healthy boundaries. We are setting ourselves up to be taken advantage of, or to develop our own maladaptive emotional reactions.
Years ago, I read a book that claimed 80% of all illnesses are emotionally induced. After working in health care for many years, I tend to agree.
But unfortunately things like compulsion, cognitive dissonance, escapism, or ingrained early childhood patterns of coping – prevent us from being able to see the inside of our own emotional reactions. We are putting band-aids on deeps wounds, and eventually they fester instead of healing.
When you consider heart disease, stroke and cancers as being among the leading causes of death, we also must admit, they too are stress related.
The problem for many people, is that things tend to creep up on us. Long term digestive problems might be a precursor to cancer. High blood pressure, and chronic stress eventually leads to a heart attack or stroke. High blood sugars are corrosive to the lining of blood vessels, and can cause kidney disease.
Various cancers have elements of autoimmune disorders, as they too are betraying the health of one’s own body, and tissues, by allowing invasive tumours, or conditions that interfere with normal bodily functions.
Although we really have no idea how long we will live, due to fate, lifestyle, stress, early childhood experiences, diet, nutrition, and genetics, we can draw a few conclusions.
Stress, in particular emotional stress must be addressed, because stress is an unavoidable part of life. Some people inherently have more intrinsic stability, optimism, and ability to ward off emotional stressors. Some people are not as prone to absorbing the moods of those around them.
Other personality types are chronically anxious and fretful. Some people automatically know how to take care of themselves, to include a healthy diet, exercise, and adequate sleep. They also know what to avoid.
Others fall into addiction, and various other unhealthy patterns. Some feel pressured to achieve. Hyperactivity can be another form of escapism. It can prevent us from learning how to be calm, instead of constantly seeking distraction and activity.
In many cases, we are seeking ways to improve our mood, escape emotional pain, and increase dopamine levels, often leading to short term pleasure seeking, or distraction from what is truly bothering us.
We all have to learn how to deal with difficulties, conflicts, and the ingrained early childhood patterns that may be leading to self sabotage. If the patterns keep repeating, or if there are major stumbling blocks to healing and forgiveness, it is likely to eat away at us, and those around us.
Self care is not only about diet, exercise and rest. It must also focus on emotional well-being, thoughts, and spirituality. Any major illness is a wake up call to make significant changes in all aspects of our lives. Our thoughts shape our mindset, and outlook. Our emotions feed our thoughts, and our thoughts lead to emotional reactions, which in turn, lead to autonomic nervous system reactions.
With autoimmune disorders, we are dealing with a betrayal of self. It could be rooted in our identity, and the struggle for the authentic self. It could be a battle to confront what we were powerless to confront in the past. It could be tied to the struggle for forgiveness, including not only an inability to forgive, but also an inability to forgive ourselves, or accept forgiveness.
When all of that is figured out, there is opportunity for letting go, and a way to manage lasting change. For Christians, it is interesting to note that in the bible, we are repeatedly told to repent.
For many of us, our first thought about repentance is to admit wrongdoing, seek forgiveness, and recognize sin in our own lives first and foremost. But what we often overlook is the true nature of repentance is to change direction, or change our ways.
It is not to say anyone is to blame for becoming ill. When Christ was here on this earth, He healed so many people of crippling diseases. Sickness is a part of life, whatever the cause may be.
As much as sickness is a part of life, so too is change a part of life. Sometimes the two are interrelated.
Chronic disease invites a soul searching, as to how we might find better ways to self care. What do we need to change?
It seems we have approached a time where we cannot rely as much on the health care system to diagnose and fix us when things go awry. In some cases people have no choice but to seek treatment, or go to the ER.
But when we face autoimmune disorders, or chronic conditions, we know our own history, and patterns better than anyone else does.
Some people wait helplessly for months on end to get diagnostic tests, or to see a specialist. I think it is worthwhile to do a self evaluation, and create a care plan, identifying what to avoid, and what to add to our self care.
The more self responsibility we can muster, the more we can maintain some control over our own health. The use of essential oils, intermittent fasting, saunas, and various other non extreme approaches to making changes, and improving self care can help us navigate the complexities of illness and healing.
Perhaps one of the most important things we can do for ourselves, is to overcome the fear of death. It may seem like an oxymoron, but the fear of death is probably one of the greatest hindrances to leading a full life.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Christians have been thrust into multiple different teachings, especially when it comes to end times teaching, or eschatology. Although I do not like to attach labels to our Christian belief systems, there are some very important distinctions to be made, and the labels already exist, so we might as well sort them out for ourselves.
Personally I reject all the eschatological belief systems, with the exception of historic premillennialism. It represents the beliefs of the original church fathers, adhering to covenant theology, without any hint of the pre-tribulation false rapture doctrine.
This is what was believed by the people who were present during the significant historical biblical timelines. After Christ was crucified, the Apostles were left to preach, and spread the truth of the gospel. The early church leaders were privy to those teachings.
The Darby inspired dispensational belief system, is a different doctrine in multiple ways, and is not limited to falsehoods in just end times eschatology. Darby and Scofield rewrote the entire bible, and advanced a different doctrine into innumerable mainstream churches.
Darby divided the bible into seven dispensations, and added a range of false teachings, mixing it with the truth contained in the original bible. When truth is mixed with falsehood, people are more inclined to believe all of it is true. If they see elements of truth, they assume the rest of it is true. It is a common practice of skillful deceivers.
Some people believe Darby was a brilliant man, offering teachings with a more comprehensive, and concise scope. Although I do not know his true motives, or his ultimate destiny, I do not think for one moment all his deceptions were unintentional, or mild deviations from biblical truths. The ramifications of this false teaching is extensive, and in my opinion, it is a wicked doctrine. There is far more to it than meets the eye.
It seems people literally get blinded to the truth when they become steeped in dispensationalism. They confuse stubborn adherence to false doctrine with faith. They refuse to repent, and are arrogantly self assured. They are uncharitable, and more concerned with Sunday services, and superficial appearances, than they are with seeking the truth. Like modern day Pharisees.
It took a long time before I realized the error of my own ways, and beliefs. I am humbled beyond description. Not only in all the ways I have nearly stumbled into the abyss, been foolish, been angry, off-track, reacted emotionally, and failed those I love the most. But also, in naively believing all Christians essentially believe the same things. I was mistaken. We do not all believe the same teachings at all. There are many false prophets in this world.
Along with Scofield, and many other false teachers, dispensationalists built on these concepts, in oder to establish a form of Christian Zionism. Scofield added hundreds of his own footnotes to the Scofield bible, many of them were so far-fetched, it is a wonder they even published them.
Therefore, the differences between historic premillennialism, and dispensational beliefs, are profoundly significant.
Like most cultish deceptions, dispensationalism has some similarities with the original bible, but are not based on the same foundational doctrinal beliefs at all. Anyone who is sincere about seeking the truth, must differentiate between all the errant belief systems, and false teaching.
Historic or traditional premillennialism, is the belief that Christians will meet Christ in the air during the second coming. Then together, we will return to the earth for the millennial reign of Christ, which is described as a thousand years of peace and prosperity. Not in the clouds, or in heaven, but right here on earth.
Historic premillennialism does not support the belief in the separation of Israel, nor does it support the belief there will be a secret rapture of the church, prior to a seven year tribulation period. In fact, historic premillennialism does not adhere to a seven year tribulation belief at all.
For those who believe in the bible, it is a good idea to examine what it says, to be sure we are not listening to false teachers. The bible does not say there will be a secret return of Christ to rapture the believers. Christ does not return three times. The bible says the return of Christ will be a spectacular event. There will be nothing secret about it. If the church or body of believers are the bride of Christ, why would they miss the most incredible and long awaited event in the history of the world? In order to escape tribulation?
This is an example of how prone we are to accept wishful thinking, even if it is not supported in the scriptures. Why are we so gullible? People often listen to what they are told during Sunday sermons, and take it as gospel truth, instead of delving into the truth of the bible for themselves.
The primary reason this deception is so well received, is because of fear. We are to have faith, not fear. And we are not to be cowardly, even though the events as described in the Book of Revelation might seem like something we would want to avoid. The bible says “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
In the original bible, it is well documented, and understood that all people, especially Christians, will face tribulation during our lifetimes. As we get closer to the end times, the tribulation for all people increases dramatically until Christ returns. We do not expect to escape tribulation, anymore than the early Christians, or the Apostles escaped tribulation.
Most importantly of all, Christ did not escape tribulation. Although Christ was without sin, and each of us carries a burden of sin, our lives are a reflection of the forgiveness, redemption, sanctification, and ultimate resurrection, gifted to us by the grace of God.
There are numerous hidden deceptions contained in the dispensational premillennialism. Most people who are indoctrinated with this false version of biblical teaching do not even realize it. The implications are very deep rooted, and have given rise to the parable of the wheat and the tares, as described in Matthew 13:24-43.
Dispensationalism is also part of the end times apostasy, or falling away from sound doctrine, as is described in the bible, so we know that we must be very careful to avoid being deceived. This particular doctrine was only introduced, and embraced by churches beginning in 1830, which in the entire history, and timeline of the bible, is a relatively new teaching.
During the same time frame in the 1800’s, there was a rise in cult doctrines to include Mormonism, Seventh Day Adventism, and Jehovah Witnesses. Mormonism, with false doctrine introduced by Joseph Smith, began in very close proximity to the time Darby created dispensationalism.
Seventh Day Adventism is a false doctrine created by Ellen White in 1863. The Jehovah Witness doctrine was created and advanced by Charles Russell in the late 1800’s. Initially they were called Russellites (1852-1916), but changed their name to Jehovah Witness in 1931, because they had been caught up in what was known as the miracle wheat scandal.
The miracle wheat scandal brought disrepute to Charles Russel, which was published in many major newspapers. It involved charges of libel, and a government investigation. Therefore they opted to change their name to Jehovah Witness, to hide the fact they were charged with fraud.
After the name change, they advanced a very determined system of recruitment, involving door knocking, and massive amounts of propaganda, to advance their numbers, and to spread the false doctrinal beliefs.
Some people invited JW’s into their homes, and argued for hours, to try and change their way of thinking. Others, often bored or lonely housewives did get taken in, and caused much strife in their families when they joined the cult. And others, like myself, peeked through a window, saw the prim looking strangers, in the standard attire of dark, formal looking clothing, and ignored them, until they went away.
In all of these cases involving the invention of cult doctrines, they extrapolated many truths from the original bible, and then altered the narrative to suit various belief systems that are not part of the original bible. Scofield as a human being, had a terrible reputation. Ellen White, in some of her writings was charged with plagiarism, and in other cases, she came across as being blatantly psychotic.
Frequently the cultish belief systems involved date setting, giving specific dates on the return of Christ, even though it is made very clear in the original bible that no one knows the date of Christ’s return. When the dates they set, did not turn out to be true prophecy, they made some excuse, and carried on, maintaining a large group of loyal followers, in spite of the many contradictions.
People become entrenched in cults for a variety of reasons. Much of it is tied to familial entrapments. Countless people remain in cults, because they are afraid of losing their social structure, as well as being shunned and rejected by their own family. Often jobs and livelihoods are tied to these strong cultish infiltrations as well. So it makes the stakes even higher to leave, or go against a powerful and influential leader.
Leaving or breaking free of a cult, creates a great deal of fear, confusion, and a major stumbling block to people’s faith, and search for the truth. The power of family, and fear of rejection, is a huge detriment for those born into cults, or forced into cults by more powerful family members, and leaders. For this reason, the bible wisely tells us not to put anyone ahead of Christ, and the true gospel.
Clearly in the cases of all cults, they were developed by men and/or women who developed delusions, or illusions of grandeur. Those who established cults were governed by a galaxy of crossed motives, to include strong delusions, and prideful self exaltation.
Obviously, a high percentage of them are motivated by lust, greed, power, and control. They want money, they will molest children, and they will try to control the minds, and actions of their followers to the smallest details. They want to take the place of God, in the lives of other people. It is really just a replication of what Satan tried to do.
The list goes on and on, when it comes to the various cult leaders who gained a following, to include Mary Baker Eddy who started the Christian Science religion in the early 1900’s, Jim Jones in the mid 1950’s, the Moonies or the Unification Church in the mid 1950’s, Daughters of God in 1832, and many others, often with catastrophic outcomes.
Once people are embroiled in, indoctrinated, and brainwashed by these organizations, it can take years to overcome all the levels of deception. They typically rip families apart, and leave a travesty of broken people in their wake.
This article does not touch upon the Catholic church system, although it too, does not follow traditional biblical belief systems, and inserts many falsehoods into the teachings. However, the Catholic church has been around a very long time, established around 30 A.D. They too, are symbolically tied to the dragon in the Book of Revelation
The other belief systems that can confuse people, are a-millennialism, and post-millennialism. A-millennialism is the belief that there is no literal millennial reign of Christ, as described in Revelation, and several other books of the bible.
Instead, they believe this concept represents a figurative reign, or spiritual condition. They believe the millennial reign began when Christ was here, and represents the entire church age. To get past the fact that Christ was here 2000 years ago, they simply claim the thousand year reign, just means a very long time.
Many of them also believe Satan is already bound. When questioned about all the craziness, violence, and addiction in the world today, they explain it away by saying, Satan is bound, but is still allowed to have some influence. I find this point of view to be anti-biblical, and nonsensical too. But to each his own.
The post-millennial point of view is equally as implausible. This belief system claims we are currently in the millennial reign of Christ. Supposedly it is a time where the Christian ethics prosper, and everything becomes wonderful and blissful. If it has not happened yet, well it just takes a very long time.
Clearly, such a construct is not happening in the world as we know it, by any stretch of the imagination. Nor can Christians bring about the changes required, in order to bring about peace in this world. We have already been given a very long time to accomplish this, and have failed miserably.
In fact, the bible tells us in many places that things will get worse, not better, until Christ returns. Once again, this is a doctrine placing the focus on man, not Christ. We can pretty much see where such a fallacy will lead us.
Even though there are some very long-winded, and convincing arguments to support some of these belief systems, we are instructed repeatedly, to examine and test these beliefs, based on what the bible actually says.
The only position I will take, since I have examined some of these other belief systems, is that of historic premillennialism. I believe there will be a thousand year reign, as described in the Book of Revelation. I do not believe Satan is currently bound, because even though we know God has power over all of creation, including Satan, he is not bound yet. He is freely roaming the earth to wreak havoc, and deceive people, as usual.
When Christ returns, Satan will be bound, and locked up, so he cannot harm people, or deceive the nations for the thousand year period. This allows a period of healing, peace, safety, learning, and understanding God’s way, as it was originally intended to be in the Garden of Eden.
It also represents a period of rest for the earth, and the people who are living on earth. It stands to reason this period of rest will occur, after a period of around six thousand years of history.
It aligns with the description that with God, a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as a day. I believe this gives us a hint, knowing all creation was done in six days, and on the seventh day God rested. So it makes sense this period of rest and restoration is on the horizon, because according to Genesis, people have been here around six thousand years.
One of the most perplexing developments in the end times scenario, is that after Satan is bound for a thousand years, he is let loose for awhile, and deceives the nations again.
We already know the millennial reign is a period of time where Christ rules as King, with a rod of iron, therefore it is hard to understand how or why this could happen. It is one of the great mysteries yet to unfold, and in time, we will understand it better.
Some preachers attribute this development to man’s sinful nature, which causes masses of people to rebel against God during the thousand year reign. But if that is the case, it would not be a peaceful period of time, because people would soon resort to their old ways of violence, dominance, and deception. So it must occur after or at the end of the millennial reign of Christ.
In re-reading what it says in Revelation, I believe the release of Satan, the final deception and battle, takes place after the millennial reign. In a sense, it is like a recap, and ultimate clash between good and evil, thus eliminating all the possibilities for any future Satanic deceptions, or conflicts between good and evil.
In the Garden of Eden, they lived in a perfect and beautiful world, but they were still tempted and deceived by Satan. The bible says once he is let loose, he will deceive the nations again. Therefore, even though people are still prone to being deceived and following Satan, I think it probably takes place at the end of, and not during the millennial reign.
I also wondered if when Satan is released, his followers, including one third of the angels who chose to follow him, might also be released for this final battle. Once he does deceive the nations again, and gather more followers, God intervenes, and they are finally destroyed, once and for all.
This all happens just before the Great White Throne of Judgement, after which the new earth and new Jerusalem are ushered in. This is the true eternity, where God comes down from heaven to live with His people.
The description of the new earth, and the new Jerusalem, is quite different than the earth during the millennial reign. There will be no night, and there will be no sea. The descriptions are more dazzling than we can even conceive of now. It is truly too incredible to fully grasp.
None of us really understands all of God’s plans, because we are simply not capable. It serves to reinforce why we must have faith, and trust in God’s scope and power over all things. After all, He is the creator of all things, and knows the beginning from the end, and the end from the beginning. We were given the bible to help instruct us, and show us the truth.
It does make sense to me that there will be a millennial reign of Christ on earth. It will be a time of restoration and peace, as well as truly learning the way, the truth and the life, as promised in the gospels. The bible tells us the earth will be full of the knowledge of God. We will finally understand science, even though the secular world would scoff at such a notion.
It will be a time of preparation for the next phase. There will be so much to learn, and even more to unlearn, because like it or not, we have all been deceived throughout our lifetimes. I will readily admit – I am no exception.
It will be a time to get ourselves planted in our roles, and purpose, as well as to develop the ability to discern truth from deception, because our servitude to Christ will be tested when Satan is released again.
As I have sorted some of these things out in my own mind, and examined the various different beliefs, what I believe to be true, does make sense. There are many mysteries, and many things I do not understand. But God’s promises, hope, grace, love, mercy, and ultimate triumph over corruption and death, is truly remarkable.
The key takeaway is – do not put your trust in man, or any manmade deviations from the true gospel. Put your trust in God. Jesus, is the only one who has the power to save us from a certain death.
Eternity is a very long time.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Pilgrim’s Progress is an allegorical dream sequence referred to as theological fiction. It is truly a great work, written by a Puritan pastor who faced persecution for preaching the gospel during the 17th century.
It is well worth reading, or listening to, as it is rich in metaphor, and filled with the trials and tribulations of a Christian traveller. It chronicles life’s choices, and subsequent adversities, both internally and externally, as we make our way to our final destination. Recently, I listened to the audio book, and found the dramatic interpretation as read by someone else, to be even better than reading it.
The Pilgrim’s Progress depicts the journey of a man named Christian, and demonstrates just how much has to be overcome in the entire odyssey of life.
I found it interesting to note, that he did not come across a character called Grief in his travels. But grief is something we will all encounter, and is often one of the most devastating emotions of all human experiences.
In the story, the main character Christian, is anxious, ashamed, and has a massive burden on his back. The burden is so heavy, he fears it will cause him to sink into hell.
In an attempt to get free of the shame and burden, he decides to leave the City of Destruction, which is filled with evil and sin. He is advised by Evangelist to go to the Wicket Gate, and head for the Celestial City. He cannot see the gate, but is told to look for the shining light.
Initially, Christian sets off with a companion named Pliable, and before long, they fall into the Slough of Despond. A character named Obstinate has followed them, and tries to convince them to go back. With much difficulty, Pliable manages to crawl out of the pond, but is thoroughly discouraged, and follows Obstinate’s advice, and heads back to the City of Destruction.
Christian, due to the heavy burden on his back, sinks in the slough, and cannot get himself out. A man called Help comes and pulls him out. He carries on his journey, and soon comes across Mr. Worldly Wise Man, and gets some secular advice. The worldly wise man instructs him to seek the advice of Mr. Legality, and his son Civility in the village of Morality.
He heads to the mountain where they live, but it towers over him, has fire shooting out of it, and threatens to crush him.
Evangelist intervenes, and tells him to forget it, they are frauds. He advises Christian to stick to the path taking him to the Wicket Gate. To get to the straight and narrow, he must get on The King’s Highway, but then he encounters Beelzebub, who shoots at him with arrows.
A character named Goodwill saves him from Beelzebub, and tells him about Jesus. Christian tells Goodwill about the heavy burden he has been carrying. Goodwill directs him to the place of Deliverance.
From there, Christian makes his way to the House of Interpreters, who show him many things, to signify a Christian life, and the importance of faith. Finally Christian reaches the place of Deliverance. At last, the straps holding his heavy pack break and fall away into an open tomb, or sepulchre.
Then three angels visit him, to greet him, and give him peace. They provide new garments, and a scroll, which is a passport to the Celestial City.
Encouraged by his new found freedom, and his assurance of getting to his destination, he encounters more struggles. As he carries on, he comes across Simple, Sloth, and Presumption. Christian tries to talk to them, and help them, but they will have nothing to do with him.
Then he gets to the Hill of Difficulty, and meets two well dressed false Christians named Hypocrisy, and Formality. They were haughty, and sure of themselves, and were certain they knew the way to go. Before long, both of them end up perishing in two dangerous bypasses called Danger and Destruction.
Christian, weary from his travels, falls asleep in the arbour above the hill, and later, realizes he has lost his passport into the Celestial City, so he must retrace his steps to find it.
He comes across Timorous, and Mistrust who tell him about a den of lions on the way to Palace Beautiful. He manages to avoid the lions, and is then told by the Watchful Porter that they are chained, and are there to test his faith.
When he gets to the top of the Hill of Difficulty, he stays at the place called Palace Beautiful for three days. It is a place built by God for pilgrims on their journey, in order to replenish and refresh them. While there, he is told to put on the full armour of God (Ephesians 6: 11-18) to get him through the upcoming battle.
He ends up travelling into the Valley of Humiliation, and finds himself face to face with the great dragon Apollyon, who he battles for a half a day. Finally he is able to stab him with his two edged sword from the armour of God he put on earlier. The dragon flees.
Before long it is nightfall, and Christian ends up in the Valley of The Shadow of Death, where it is dark, terrifying and full of demons. He hears a character named Faithful read the twenty third Psalm: “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
When he leaves the valley of the shadow of death, much to his relief, the sun is shining. He meets Faithful who he knows from the former City of Destruction. Together the two of them go to a place called Vanity Fair. It is designed by Beelzebub, and is filled with lust, and all manner of temptations at the Fair. Both Faithful and Christian have disdain for such things.
Faithful is put on trial there and is executed, which transports him immediately to the Celestial City as a martyr. Christian then finds another companion called Hopeful. They end up facing much more adversity as they continue on their travels.
They try to take a shortcut, but end up being captured by Giant Despair, and his wife Diffidence, known for their cruelty and torture. They are then locked in the Doubting Castle where they are beaten and starved.
The Giant and his cruel wife want them to commit suicide. They are so beaten down, they are tempted to do so. Finally, Christian realizes he has a key called Promise, which fits into the keyholes of the locked dungeon. So they manage to escape.
As they get closer to their destination, on the Delectable Mountain, they meet the Good Shepherds. Finally through the Eyeglass of Perspective, they can look through it, and see the Celestial City.
Even though they are getting closer, they are warned not to be deceived. They meet the Flatterer, and follow him, being led astray until they see an angel who they think is the shining one, but they are deceived, and soon get stuck in a snare.
A true angel frees them from the snare, and puts them back on course with a stern warning. They then meet Atheist who mocks them, and tells them Heaven and God do not exist. They ignore him, and carry on.
They pass by a character called Wanton Professor who is chained by seven demons. There is a ferocity of vile projections, and then the Professor takes a shortcut to the Lake of Fire.
Next they meet a man named Ignorance, who is convinced he will be taken to the Celestial City because of his many good deeds, instead of as a gift, by the grace of God.
Christian and Hopeful try to convince Ignorance that he cannot get to the Celestial City on his own merit. Nevertheless, he insists on going his own way, and takes the perilous ferry of Vain Hope over The River of Death.
When Ignorance finally makes it to the Celestial City, he has no passport, and is denied entrance. He had not travelled the King’s Highway in order to get there. The angels took him away to hell.
Christian and Hopeful, almost there, still had to go through the Enchanted Ground, a place which made them very tired and sleepy, but they knew if they fell asleep there, they would never wake up.
They too, have to cross the River of Death, and they finally make it to the Celestial City, where they are welcomed, and allowed in.
Even though this is a Christian based allegorical story written in the 1600’s, it does give an indication of the struggles, difficulties, pitfalls, snares, and battles we all have to endure.
Too many times, we think, or expect things to be easy, or to go through life without falling into the pit of destruction. But on many levels, the journey as described in the Pilgrims Progress, is closer to what it is really like, especially for the addict.
Christian’s final companion on his journey to the Celestial City was Hopeful. I think John Bunyan was quite right to make Hopeful the strongest ally, and friend to help him reach his destination.
Opiates are dangerous. They have been used for thousands of years, and have a legitimate role in short term pain management, and palliative care. But they are also highly addictive, and have claimed millions of lives. In fact, entire civilizations have collapsed as a result of widespread opiate use.
Many people believe in the concept of safe supply, which means people use prescribed government sanctioned opiates from legitimate pharmacies, as opposed to risking the opiates on the streets, without knowing for sure what is in them. Millions of pills that look exactly like OxyContin, Percocet, or Xanax, are laced with lethal doses of fentanyl.
Fentanyl is a synthetic opiate made in clandestine labs in Mexico, Columbia, China, and more recently, one was located in BC, Canada where police discovered 25 kg of pure fentanyl. That is enough fentanyl to kill several thousand people.
In addition to lacing pills, and other street drugs with fentanyl, it has also become a risk factor for cannabis to be laced with fentanyl. This dramatically increases the risk for all people, including those who use cannabis for medical reasons. It places millions of young people at even greater risk.
Did legalization really increase the safety of cannabis? Prior to legalization, there was no such thing as cannabis overdose. But now with very high concentrations of THC in candies, lollipops, shatter, and other doctored cannabis products, it is no longer a matter of mild-mannered 1970’s home grown weed.
Cannabis no longer resembles what it used to be. In recent years, children, dogs, and seniors have suffered from cannabis overdoses. The unnaturally high, and potentially toxic amounts of THC can also place vulnerable people at risk for psychosis, especially if combined with alcohol or other drugs. With the potential introduction of fentanyl into certain cannabis products, it means the only safe way to use it is to grow it yourself.
No class of opiates are entirely safe, because even prescription opiates can lead to fatal overdoses, if taken too frequently, or in conjunction with drugs that potentiate their effects. Plus when people become addicted to prescription opiates, it is not long before they will turn to street drugs, to seek a stronger high, or when they can no longer get prescriptions. Once addicted, better judgement goes out the window. In fact – it flies off a mountain top, until the poor person crashes on the rocks below.
Fentanyl is fifty times stronger than heroin, and a hundred times stronger than morphine. The amount it takes to kill a person is less than the size of a pencil tip.
Many people advocate the use of fentanyl test strips, which may help detect fentanyl, but they are not always accurate. The test strip might be used on an area of the drug without a concentration of fentanyl, and miss the area where it is located. Fentanyl in fake prescription tablets, is not likely to be evenly distributed.
Opiates are highly addictive. Although the rate at which people can become addicted varies, within a week to two weeks of daily use, most people will have developed a physiological addiction.
As a person gets deeper into the addiction, they are seeking the drug to prevent getting dope sick. Many people describe withdrawal as being a tortuous experience. Detoxing can be dangerous if not done in a supervised medical setting. A person can become severely dehydrated from nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. They suffer greatly, and unless they are managed properly, and with empathy, in order to help them through it, they will desperately seek a fix.
To top it off, even for those who do go through detox and treatment, the relapse rate is very high. Most of the treatment facilities are thirty to ninety days. As an adjunct they may also provide sober living, AA classes, support groups, and life skills. Most have some sort of program to follow.
In many cases, the facility will prescribe drugs to ease the detox, such as benzodiazepines, Suboxone, or methadone. If a person is released while still dependent on these other drugs, they may, or may not be able to function well. Some people remain stable on methadone. Ideally a person will get free of all addictive drugs, and become drug free.
In addition to having the desire to quit, combined with a successful detox, the addict must have a very good plan in place, in order to succeed long term. They cannot succeed if they return to friends who are using, family members who are using, a party lifestyle, old habits, or boredom.
They will need to gradually deal with the underlying causes of the addiction, and find ways to develop resilience to protect their emotional and mental health. Often there is a co-dependency within families, which makes it very difficult for the addict to separate themselves from what is toxic, in order to maintain their well being, and progress.
Sometimes families mean well, but the ingrained patterns that led to the addictive behaviours can be filled with denial. A parent who drinks a lot might be judgemental toward a teenager who uses crystal meth. But to the teenager, they see it as hypocrisy. A mother who takes pain pills, or tranquilizers prescribed by a doctor, might be outraged at her fourteen year old smoking marijuana. Yet all of those things are part of the addictive dynamic.
They need to set up a personal care plan carefully tailored to both their strengths, and their weaknesses. They have to be very conscious of who they hang around with. To succeed, they have to abandon the relationships, lifestyles, and party places that were part of the earlier lifestyle.
They have to find relationships, and activities that change the old patterns, and keep them occupied. Many addicts quickly go from being an addict to being a therapist, which I do not think is a good idea, unless they have had plenty of time to get stable in every way.
It is helpful for people to support each other, and share success stories etc. Sometimes I wonder if addictive personalities can help cure other addictive personalities. I think they have empathy and experience, to be able to relate to what another person is going through, but they might not have in depth insight, or intrinsic stability for a very long time.
Many people who really want to help others, still need to sort out how they are going to help themselves. Getting free of the addiction, is only a portion of the battle. It takes years to figure out the pitfalls and cause of the addiction, and it is different for each person. Often it is tied to complex family dynamics.
If there is complex PTSD to overcome, especially from childhood trauma, a certain amount of the trauma is hardwired into the memory, and actual central nervous system. There are triggers that create an avalanche of cortisol, and other stress hormones. Since those are autonomic nervous system reactions, the person has no control over them.
Even if a person has managed to overcome complex PTSD from childhood trauma for the most part, it can still crop up and cause extreme distress years later. If there are enough stressors, that go on for a period of time, especially things like loud noises, sudden banging, yelling, screaming and cursing – those are all precursors to memories of impending violence.
With complex PTSD arousal, every system of the body, thought processes, adrenalin, cortisol etc. kicks in, to create an internal replica of the fear and helplessness of childhood trauma. No one likes to be subjected to screaming and cursing for prolonged periods, but for people who are triggered by someone else’s rage, such exposure has to be avoided at all costs. There is a cumulative effect, and the tension cannot be relieved until the verbal raging, cursing and threats are stopped. It is a re-creation of familiar events.
For the recovering addict, it also takes time to rewire the neurochemistry, and brain gut health, so a nutritious whole food diet is essential. Exercise, purpose, goal setting, dopamine restoration, improved self esteem, and meaningful work are the building blocks they need for long term success. They have to have a strong desire to succeed.
The thing about overcoming addiction, is that life gets easier in some ways, but it does not stay easy. There can still be plenty of adversity, so the challenge is to avoid using any substance again, no matter what happens.
People often relapse over a breakup, job loss, major conflict, or death in the family. Regardless of what happens, the commitment to stay clean and sober must prevail. Circumstances cannot dictate sobriety. The locus of control must come from within.
Probably one of the biggest pitfalls is that of substitute addictions. An addict might switch from opiates to prescribed benzodiazepines, which are also highly addictive, and difficult to get free of. They can be equally as destructive, and the detox actually takes longer. People have to taper by minute amounts, sometimes over a period of a year or two.
All people should realize that every type of psychoactive drug can, and will strike back and haunt them if they take the drug for any length of time. This includes antipsychotics, which also interfere with dopamine receptors and mood, SSRI, or antidepressants, and all sleeping pills.
Steroids are also dangerous if taken over time. They can wreak havoc with every system of the body, including the emotions, and self control. People on steroids can go into uncontrolled violent rages. If they need surgery or get ill, steroids can also mask the signs of infection.
NSAIDs or non-steroid anti-inflammatory drugs are not psychoactive, or addictive, but they too must be taken with caution, especially for older people. They can cause stroke, stomach problems, heart problems, kidney problems and liver problems.
People who are trying to overcome addictions might switch to over eating, sugar cravings, or drinking alcohol. They might still believe they are doing okay, and can manage the addiction. Even gambling, exercise, work, shopping, and sex can become substitute addictions.
Some people say they never get free of the desire to use again. Others do not feel the compulsion to use again at all. For them, the negatives are a greater deterrent than the positives. There is no high without a worse, and corresponding low.
They know they will be right back on that self destructive roller coaster if they use again. There comes a point, after detox and recovery, where using again is a choice. There may be some compulsion prompting them, but it is not so strong that it cannot be controlled, or diverted to a healthier alternative.
They have to be vigilant, and know their own weaknesses. For some people, a twelve step program works. I tend to believe that a person has to redesign the patterns of their life, in every way. All of the old habits must be broken, including patterns of thinking, and emotional management.
They must learn to avoid catastrophic reactions to set backs, break ups, financial distress, and most of all, if they have an accident, or must have surgery – how they will manage the short term use of opiates, without relapsing.
When thinking about the high failure rate of many treatment programs, I thought of creating an outline that parallels the book by John Bunyan called “The Pilgrim’s Progress”. The essence of the story is an allegorical dream sequence.
This concept would probably not be accepted in the secular world, but I believe we cannot overlook the fact we are spiritual beings. The Pilgrims Progress depicts the journey of a Christian, and shows just how much has to be overcome in the entire odyssey of life.
I found it interesting to note, that he did not come across a character called Grief in his travels. But grief is something we will all encounter, and is often one of the most devastating emotions of all human experiences.
In the story, the main character Christian, is anxious, ashamed, and has a massive burden on his back. The burden is so heavy, he fears it will cause him to sink into hell.
In an attempt to get free of the shame and burden, he decides to leave the City of Destruction, which is filled with evil and sin. He is advised by Evangelist to go to the Wicket Gate, and head for the Celestial City. He cannot see the gate, but is told to look for the shining light.
Initially, Christian sets off with a companion named Pliable, and before long, they fall into the Slough of Despond. A character named Obstinate has followed them, and tries to convince them to go back. With much difficulty, Pliable manages to crawl out of the pond, but is thoroughly discouraged, and follows Obstinate’s advice, and heads back to the City of Destruction.
Christian, due to the heavy burden on his back, sinks in the slough, and cannot get himself out. A man called Help comes and pulls him out. He carries on his journey, and soon comes across Mr. Worldly Wise Man, and gets some secular advice. The worldly wise man instructs him to seek the advice of Mr. Legality, and his son Civility in the village of Morality.
He heads to the mountain where they live, but it towers over him, has fire shooting out of it, and threatens to crush him.
Evangelist intervenes, and tells him to forget it, they are frauds. He advises Christian to stick to the path taking him to the Wicket Gate. To get to the straight and narrow, he must get on The King’s Highway, but then he encounters Beelzebub, who shoots at him with arrows.
A character named Goodwill saves him from Beelzebub, and tells him about Jesus. Christian tells Goodwill about the heavy burden he has been carrying. Goodwill directs him to the place of Deliverance.
From there, Christian makes his way to the House of Interpreters, who show him many things, to signify a Christian life, and the importance of faith. Finally Christian reaches the place of Deliverance. At last, the straps holding his heavy pack break and fall away into an open tomb, or sepulchre.
Then three angels visit him, to greet him, and give him peace. They provide new garments, and a scroll, which is a passport to the Celestial City.
Encouraged by his new found freedom, and his assurance of getting to his destination, he encounters more struggles. As he carries on, he comes across Simple, Sloth, and Presumption. Christian tries to talk to them, and help them, but they will have nothing to do with him.
Then he gets to the Hill of Difficulty, and meets two well dressed false Christians named Hypocrisy, and Formality. They were haughty, and sure of themselves, and were certain they knew the way to go. Before long, both of them end up perishing in two dangerous bypasses called Danger and Destruction.
Christian, weary from his travels, falls asleep in the arbour above the hill, and later, realizes he has lost his passport into the Celestial City, so he must retrace his steps to find it.
He comes across Timorous, and Mistrust who tell him about a den of lions on the way to Palace Beautiful. He manages to avoid the lions, and is then told by the Watchful Porter that they are chained, and are there to test his faith.
When he gets to the top of the Hill of Difficulty, he stays at the place called Palace Beautiful for three days. It is a place built by God for pilgrims on their journey, in order to replenish and refresh them. While there, he is told to put on the full armour of God (Ephesians 6: 11-18) to get him through the upcoming battle.
He ends up travelling into the Valley of Humiliation, and finds himself face to face with the great dragon Apollyon, who he battles for a half a day. Finally he is able to stab him with his two edged sword from the armour of God he put on earlier. The dragon flees.
Before long it is nightfall, and Christian ends up in the Valley of The Shadow of Death, where it is dark, terrifying and full of demons. He hears a character named Faithful read the twenty third Psalm: “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
When he leaves the valley of the shadow of death, much to his relief, the sun is shining. He meets Faithful who he knows from the former City of Destruction. Together the two of them go to a place called Vanity Fair. It is designed by Beelzebub, and is filled with lust, and all manner of temptations at the Fair. Both Faithful and Christian have disdain for such things.
Faithful is put on trial there and is executed, which transports him immediately to the Celestial City as a martyr. Christian then finds another companion called Hopeful. They end up facing much more adversity as they continue on their travels.
They try to take a shortcut, but end up being captured by Giant Despair, and his wife Diffidence, known for their cruelty and torture. They are then locked in the Doubting Castle where they are beaten and starved.
The Giant and his cruel wife want them to commit suicide. They are so beaten down, they are tempted to do so. Finally, Christian realizes he has a key called Promise, which fits into the keyholes of the locked dungeon. So they manage to escape.
As they get closer to their destination, on the Delectable Mountain, they meet the Good Shepherds. Finally through the Eyeglass of Perspective, they can look through it, and see the Celestial City.
Even though they are getting closer, they are warned not to be deceived. They meet the Flatterer, and follow him, being led astray until they see an angel who they think is the shining one, but they are deceived, and soon get stuck in a snare.
A true angel frees them from the snare, and puts them back on course with a stern warning. They then meet Atheist who mocks them, and tells them Heaven and God do not exist. They ignore him, and carry on.
They pass by a character called Wanton Professor who is chained by seven demons. There is a ferocity of vile projections, and then the Professor takes a shortcut to the Lake of Fire.
Next they meet a man named Ignorance, who is convinced he will be taken to the Celestial City because of his many good deeds, instead of as a gift, by the grace of God.
Christian and Hopeful try to convince Ignorance that he cannot get to the Celestial City on his own merit. Nevertheless, he insists on going his own way, and takes the perilous ferry of Vain Hope over The River of Death.
When Ignorance finally makes it to the Celestial City, he has no passport, and is denied entrance. He had not travelled the King’s Highway in order to get there. The angels took him away to hell.
Christian and Hopeful, almost there, still had to go through the Enchanted Ground, a place which made them very tired and sleepy, but they knew if they fell asleep there, they would never wake up.
They too, have to cross the River of Death, and they finally make it to the Celestial City, where they are welcomed, and allowed in.
Even though this is a Christian based allegorical story written in the 1600’s, it does give an indication of the struggles, difficulties, pitfalls, snares, and battles we all have to endure.
Too many times, we think, or expect things to be easy, or to go through life without falling into the pit of destruction. But on many levels, the journey as described in the Pilgrims Progress, is closer to what it is really like, especially for the addict.
Christian’s final companion on his journey to the Celestial City was Hopeful. I think John Bunyan was quite right to make Hopeful the strongest ally, and friend to help him reach his destination.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
This is one of the greatest struggles for me. I know, I too have sinned many many times, and hurt other people throughout my lifetime.
More so, I have sinned against God, by not avoiding temptation, by saying things I should not say, by being angry, and resentful, and sometimes being outright prideful and foolish. I realize all of these attitudes are sinful. I also know we must repent of our sins, in order to change our ways. Some people do not believe repentance is an important part of the gospel message. I believe it is, and have repented, with much remorse over my own sins. I am eternally grateful for what Christ did for me, and others, by sacrificing His life so we can be forgiven.
It is amazing to know Christ asked God to forgive those who crucified him, even though he was going through an agonizing and unjust death.
When reading the story about Stephen (Acts 7:59-60) being stoned to death, it struck me as a remarkable sign of his enduring faith, when he asked God not to hold his death against those who stoned him, even as the rocks were raining down upon him.
We are told to love our enemies, regardless of what they do to us.
I understand these things with my mind. Yet in my mind and heart, there is still a dichotomy standing in the way of total forgiveness toward the teacher who dominated my life, and infiltrated my family with lies, and a cult stronghold.
The reason for this dichotomy within me, is that alongside forgiveness, we are also told to avoid certain people, to have nothing to do with them. We are not to sit in the counsel of the wicked or ungodly. Nor are we to believe and absorb lies. We are to seek the truth, love the truth, and stick with the truth in all aspects of our lives.
The challenge for me therefore, is in order to proclaim the true gospel, as opposed to the hyper dispensational teacher’s indoctrination, I have to reject the false gospel, and learn what is the truth in God’s word, the true gospel. We are told to beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. We are also told not to be deceived, and to test all things. That means we must discern good from evil, reject what is evil, and bring it into the light. Ephesians 5: 11-13
In order to embrace God’s promises of being adopted by God, as part of God’s family, I must reject the lies surrounding a pseudo-adoption lie by a false teacher. I was not adopted by the teacher, even though he told those lies repeatedly to everyone I know. Ephesians 1: 4-5
In order to assert my identity in Christ, and honour my parents, as we are instructed to do, I have to tell the truth of who I am, and refute the false accusations toward our mother and me. In my own mind and heart, I have to reject all the lies I was saddled with. Satan is referred to as the father of lies. Therefore I do not see how we can love such an enemy, and forgive those lies.
In all honesty, I have to admit, I struggle to forgive the evil aspects of the plot against my life. It was a persistent, unwavering deceptive scheme that began when I was a teenager in school, and has shadowed my entire adult life. It continues to this day. This harm was inflicted on our mother, on me, and and on my entire family.
It has torn the family apart spanning three generations. It jeopardized my own soul and salvation, and the souls of family members, who continue to hold this teacher in high esteem.
The difficulty for me, is to accept this as the persecution of my entire adult life, when those who have inflicted the harm, have never faced consequences, never admitted wrongdoing, never apologized, and above all – would never take no for an answer.
How can we reject evil if it is forced upon us? We have to be able to say no. The refusal to take no for an answer dehumanizes, and entraps a person. It is like you are treated as a non person, or an object.
In addition to instructing us to forgive, there are also many verses in the bible telling us in no uncertain terms – to avoid certain people. Proverbs 4:14-19:
There are many verses telling us what kind of people to avoid. We also have God-given free will. Most of us leave our teachers behind, and they become a distant memory. Some of them are remembered with fondness, and some of them we remember as being nasty.
But those are within the realm of normal lives, and basic respect. To get saddled with a teacher for life, simply because he came and taught in a small town school for a few years, is beyond comprehension.
As I understand what the bible says, I am to avoid this person. This is something I knew in my heart at the onset. But because he had power and authority over me, and was in collusion with a powerful family member, I was forced to put up with this teacher intrusion in my life.
My main objective was always to get them out of my life. Initially I tried every gentle, loving approach I could think of. I went to every member of my family, and said there is no way my decision to terminate an unwanted relationship with a teacher, should affect my family relationships. After all, we all know the truth, and I am more than willing to forgive my family.
I also spoke to the teacher and his wife, many times over the years, telling them I do not condemn them, or want to damage their reputation. I just want to make it clear there was no adoption, and leave it at that.
There was never a time where I was permitted to cut ties with those people, without more verbal assaults, more manipulation, more threats, and more punishment – all designed to force me back into an unwanted relationship.
Therefore, my struggle, and cognitive dissonance, is between free will, and the right to avoid what is false, wicked and destructive, to include false doctrine – all of which is lying alongside the instruction to forgive.
In that context, I really have to ask myself if I have malice and anger toward them. If I am honest, I cannot be sure. I think I do, and yet I have prayed for years to be released of the stronghold, and snare created by the family infiltration.
The main sticklers for me, is that I tried very hard to get free of this unwanted relationship, and even as an adult they used force. A refusal to take no for an answer, is criminal and exploitive. I want them to know that.
I have written about this situation extensively, in order to try and get it through to them that I said no, and will not resume the relationship no matter what they do. I am trying to assert myself, which is something I was never able to do as a child. Before I could get free of it all, I was pounced on with the same agenda as an adult.
When my husband was alive, the intrusive visits and behaviours from this teacher were very limited. Even though we did not want them in our lives, we also did not want to embark on a huge family conflict, so we remained polite, and tolerated their visits.
My husband told me he did not like the way the teacher looked at me, and when they did visit, he made sure I was never alone with him. So during those years, it was much different. The teacher temporarily lost some of his machismo, partly because my husband was protective of me, which I did appreciate. He was a very tall, strong athletic man. Also, it was because people are much stronger as a couple. We were together seventeen years before he died.
A young widowed woman, is weak and vulnerable, especially if her family does not protect or support her. Magnify it a thousandfold, if her family is forcing the wolf into her midst, and selling her soul to the devil.
In this day and age, why does any woman need a protector against a high school teacher? I cannot count the number of times I wished my husband was still alive, because I think we would have been much more effective in terminating the teacher relationship as a couple.
If I went into details about the history of my own background and family violence, I think it would shock the average person. Fortunately, my husband was not the least bit abusive toward me. The family violence was all from my childhood, growing up isolated on a farm, without parental protection. However, it is still much easier to forgive family, than it is to forgive an invasive intruder.
I find it most difficult to forgive the constant slander against our mother, even though she faced astronomical hardship. I think it was especially evil of him to brainwash me into thinking she was wicked and non-redeemable. He continued denigrating her until I finally cut them out of my life. When he started drilling into me that she was wicked, I was a traumatized teenage kid. To top it off, since I was a toddler, everyone who ever saw us together, told me I was the spitting image of her.
Perhaps most of all, I find it difficult to forgive the teacher’s willful attempt to destroy my soul. I thank God every day, for His abundant grace in saving me from such a fate. There is little doubt in my mind the teacher plot was an attempt to take over and destroy my mind, will, emotions and spirit.
He not only set out to dominate, control and destroy my life on this earth. His objective was to destroy my soul for all eternity, just as he tried to assert the destruction of our mother’s soul for all eternity. The depth of depravity, on a spiritual level, is almost unfathomable. Soul murder, or the attempt to do so, has to be the most wicked thing of all.
After all, our flesh will eventually die, but our soul and spirit is our essence. Through Christ as saviour, by his grace, He has saved us, and overcome death, so believers are granted eternal life. To intentionally try and rob any person of salvation through Christ, is an unspeakable evil.
Still, the question lingers – why? Why was he so bent on destruction to the extent he targeted both my mother and me, in such an incomprehensible and destructive way?
There is little doubt God will judge the hearts and minds of all of us, and there is nothing we can hide. He will recompense, and it is not up to us to judge, or we ourselves will be judged, according to all of our own sin. I get that.
When I think of God’s wrath as it is described in the bible, I also know it tells us to take no pleasure in the fate of the wicked. Nor do I know who among the wicked will seek repentance, and be forgiven.
Many times I have prayed to find a way to forgive this man. I have asked God that if he forgives the teacher, and he ends up with eternal life, can He find a way to keep him at least a few hundred miles away from me throughout eternity? I cannot even fathom having to spend more time with the teacher.
I know it is silly, because all of those who are saved by the blood of Jesus, are of one family, and one body. Therefore we cannot separate ourselves from other true believers, and nor should we want to.
So what I am left with is in trusting the redemptive work Jesus is able to work not only in my mind and heart, but for all of us.
Even though I have to admit to harbouring some degree of ill will, or hurt, I do not wish to see anyone suffer the wrath, and second death as described in the bible. I cannot even imagine seeing someone thrown into the lake of fire.
The only thing I have ever wanted is to be free of the teacher, without being punished and rejected by my own family.
The message to me has always been loud and clear, comply or suffer. But there is no way I can possibly accept the teacher lies and relationship all over again. So the enigma for me, is to reject the relationship, as I have every right to do, and yet forgive, and let go. It is hard to do, when they will not let go of me, and continue the scheming and manipulation to punish me.
I still vividly remember when the teacher would stalk me outside of school. So many times, I tried to run away from him. It triggered his animal instinct, so he would chase me. On one occasion, running through the bush, late at night, in the pitch dark, I stumbled and fell over a tree root. When he caught me he was enraged, panting and out of breath. He growled, “Don’t you ever try to get away. You will never get away, because I will HUNT you down.”
All I could say to him was “I don’t care. I don’t care what you want. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you believe. I don’t care what you say. Everyone knows you are not my father.” I repeatedly glared at him and said “I DON’T CARE!”
It feels like there is a stand-off of sorts within me. To be honest, as I have said before, I grew to despise the teacher with every fibre of my being. Yet we are told to love our enemies.
Do I love the teacher? I cannot say that I do. Do I forgive him? Even that is a tough question to answer honestly. I can forgive him, by giving it over to God, and asking Him to show me how. I have faith he will answer my prayers.
I do believe in agape love toward our neighbours, those we have had conflict with, and those who have lifestyles we know are harmful to society in general. There are people who at one time, I was at enmity with, and now I realize I was just trying to win a battle, because I was dominated so much in my own life. In many cases, it had nothing to do with the person I was in conflict with, and I hope they can forgive me for my attitude toward them at the time.
None of those conflicts stay with me, because the forgiveness is genuine, and thus it enables us to let things go.
The fact I have not let go of the teacher saga, means I have not found a way to truly and sincerely forgive.
I think part of it is that trauma and betrayal becomes hard wired into our psyche, especially when there has been brainwashing. I know Christ can heal all wounds, and I have faith He will help me find a way to forgive the teacher.
People always say forgiveness is for ourselves, not the perpetrator. Many people will forgive the most atrocious crimes, often within a matter of minutes, which is astounding to me.
Forgiveness is central to the gospel. We have to overcome the challenge, and difficulty surrounding forgiveness and betrayal. It is something our mind or will cannot accomplish on its own. I believe we have to surrender the aspect of bondage that prevents us from forgiving.
Although by the grace of God I was plucked out of the fowler’s snare, there is still a rope or two around me, preventing the full liberation of a Christ centred life. I know it is based on my own weakness, and emotions. The forgiveness must be a spiritual reckoning, in order to provide a complete release of all the hurt and anger. I cannot do it on my own.
In spite of the fact I reject all the teacher’s lies, and reject the relationship, I also know I must forgive.
Most of all I want the cult influence and falsehoods out of my family, especially for the sake of my grandchildren.
The teacher should not be my enemy. Teachers for most aging adults, are left far behind us, having provided a temporary service. Other than this particular teacher, I hardly ever think about teachers from the past. I sincerely want to leave him behind where he belongs.
Just as I repeatedly told him when I was sixteen years old, I don’t care. I don’t care what he thinks, wants, pretends, likes to believe, or what religion he chooses to belong to. In all bluntness, and candour, I do not care. There is nothing there. There is nothing to fight about. It is an apparition and delusion in his mind.
My hope is to put him in his rightful place. He was a teacher, that is all. There is no attachment or enmity with prior teachers, at least in theory. So, I want him to take a seat in the corner with the dunce cap on, and get over himself as some kind of deity, and member of my family.
Once he takes his rightful place in my life, be barely exists. Even as an enemy, he is a phantom. His fable is as elusive, and shady as the dust in the wind. I am not going to fight with anyone, about who I am, and the family I was born into and raised by. It is beyond ridiculous.
To the teacher and his family, I wish them no harm. Once the falsehoods are stripped away, they are still people I barely know. I never did get to know them, because there was no truth in them. How do you get to know those who completely misrepresent themselves? When there is no truth is a relationship, it is all fiction. It was a purely fictional construct, and still is.
Anything built on foundational lies will crumble. Over time, there is nothing left but a pile of rubble to be bull dozed into a landfill. It all deserves to be forgotten, as it has no substance whatsoever.
It morphed into spiritual and psychological warfare, and a familial stronghold that only God can deal with. Ephesians 6:12
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Because it is such a heavy familial burden, I have prayed, and have faith Christ will show me the way to forgive, and most of all, completely forget about the teacher. He does not deserve a space in my head, just like he is not welcome in my home.
Our family needs to concentrate on healing and forgiving each other, without the lies, and interference. We have intergenerational patterns to overcome. There is no point in doing to me, what was done to our mother. Hatred and expulsion from the family, is not going to solve anything. Scapegoating certain members of the family, is not hidden from God. He knows full well what is behind it all.
It is all a major challenge, and is something I know I must endure, and overcome, through faith and trust in Christ.
Perhaps one of the most disturbing things about cults, is the way they attack and destroy families. In fact, a very common deceptive cult practice is to target a fractured family, and try to become a part of that family. Or they will target the most vulnerable or youngest member of the family, and claim to have a special familial relationship with their victim.
In my case, I am talking about a cult steeped in the false doctrine of hyper dispensationalism. To a young or new Christian, the false doctrine embodied in this cult, is not clear at the onset. It took some time to sort it out, even though I knew from the beginning, there was something seriously wrong with this teacher’s attitude and conduct.
Since I have first hand experience with a high school teacher claiming to be my father, I can tell you how profoundly disturbing it is to have someone make such a claim, and then gaslight you to no end. He acted like I was brain dead. He carried out a galling pretence, as though I did not know who I was, or where I came from. I thought it was absurd.
Of course I knew who my parents were, and where I grew up. I remember it all very clearly to this day. I also knew I did not join a cult. In fact I was wary of cults. I saw Moonies and Hare Krishna cults trying to recruit people, and took a wide berth around them. But they were easier to spot than the wolf in the classroom, pretending to be a pious Christian, while simultaneously staring a hole through me.
He stared at other kids too, but he stared at me the most. I was his special target from the time I was about fourteen. Things heated up, before I graduated though, because he was bound and determined he was not going to let me go. He even told me so..”Oh no, you will not get away, I am not going to let you go.” He meant it too.
Normally cults will try to recruit followers. But in my case, I was chased down, forced into a car, taken home with the teacher night after night, and brainwashed until my eyes glazed over. There was no recruitment, and there was no consent.
He abused power to the extent, I was threatened with violence, and complete expulsion from my own family. He also claimed that not only would my family not support me defying him, but God would cast me into outer darkness. I would be separated from both family and God. He told me he was using force with me because “intervention was required”.
If I got really sassy, and defied him, he would claim I was mentally ill, or emotionally disturbed, and in defiance of authority. If I went along with being his daughter, he was proud, and I was very special, and should be eternally grateful. He told me his love was unconditional. That too, sickened me to the core. It was a molestation of the mind, emotions and spirit.
How is ANY kid supposed to process such lunacy? He was the lunatic, not me. He was the one who needed intervention. I knew it, yet there was not a thing I could do about it. Part of it was that I felt like I was bad. If I had a better sense of boundaries, and less guilt, I might have been better equipped to fight this guy off.
It all began just two or three weeks after my younger brother was killed in a car accident. I was devastated. We were just a year apart, and he had been my best buddy since he was born. As soon as he could crawl, we were playing together, and going places.
Within a couple of years we were outside running down the cow trails, and trying to catch rabbits and gophers. We wanted to make them into pets if we could only catch one.
One day, we were out rolling barrels down an incline. We would each get on a barrel and see who could stay on it as it rolled down the hill. Low and behold, a rabbit jumped in front of me, and I rolled over it without being able to stop the barrel.
Although it was unplanned, we finally caught a rabbit. It was stunned, but still alive. So I carefully picked it up and carried it home. We found a box to put it in by the wood stove, and then went out to get it some food from the garden.
I also gave it warm milk. It was kind of lethargic for awhile. But sometime throughout the night, it livened up, and jumped out of its box. It was jumping all over the place, and leaving rabbit turds wherever it went. We could not even catch it.
Finally we brought the dog in, and he chased it outside. I did not want to scare it into having a heartattack or something, but it was uncontrollable.
After that we did not try as hard to catch wild animals. But we did put a bat in a jar, to see if it would eat flies. Eventually we let it go, because it was ugly, and never even moved. We could hardly tell if it was dead or alive.
My brother and I played together outside all the time, and when we got older, we were each other confidants. His death broke me. He died in November, and his funeral was on a bitter cold day. I felt frozen inside and out, like a walking human iceberg. Everything was bleak. I felt so guilty. The last time I saw him was at a basketball game. I told him to tuck in his shirt.
And then, he was gone. Just like that. Two or three weeks prior to the accident, he was in a fender bender while out with friends. I told him I had a dream he had been killed in a car accident. He said, “thanks a lot”.
I felt guilty, and lost. I went from being sort of zombie like, to hyperactive. I was involved in everything, cheerleading, basketball, student’s union, school yearbook, you name it. Anything to find or create a distraction. Of course I was emotionally disturbed. Who wouldn’t be?
I still went to school. In fact I still passed with honours, and graduated when I was sixteen. So it was not like I was smoking crack. But I was drinking, and out partying by the end of the school year. I was no angel.
Even so, the teacher had no right to do what he did. Because I felt guilty, I was much more vulnerable. It took many years for me to realize it did not matter what I was doing, even if I was smoking crack. It would still not justify what this man did, and how much damage he caused to me, and my family.
It compounded the grief and family trauma a thousandfold. It created a lifelong complex trauma and PTSD. Nowadays people will claim to have PTSD if they fail a grade, or if they don’t make the team. I would never admit to having PTSD, as I was so afraid of being labelled as mentally ill, which would give them more ammunition to control my life.
I just tried to cope. Finally I was forced to take stock, and realize it all had a profound effect, and I was fearful, getting flashbacks, drinking, and drowning in sorrow. They had me right where they wanted me to be. When I was at my worst – they were beaming with pride.
I no longer have PTSD. I have overcome it. But there is no way I would have ever overcome it if I had not freed myself of the teacher con. Part of the destructiveness enmeshed in that plot, was to keep me locked into the past. How can you deal with the past if you have someone lurking, and dominating you with acomplete denial of who you are, and what your past involved?
The teacher was denying me the fundamental right, not only to be who I am, but also to come to terms with the grief and trauma of the past. He interfered with, and prevented healing on all levels.
When I was thirty-five, my husband was killed in an accident. The teacher was on my doorstep all over again. It was a nightmare. The emotional impact once again, not only of the sudden death and loss, but worse yet, having this looming goon, lying and conning, and taking great pleasure in my pain, was more than I could bear. He was saying the same things as he said after my little brother died. It was like I was looking at a demonic influence, and archetype that I could not shake for the life of me.
The hallmarks of all cults are religiosity, deception, identity assault, mind control, coercion, and an arrogance that takes the place of God. They are the ultimate authority. You have no choice but to obey. They have the power to punish. They infiltrate a family, in order to rip the family apart, because that is how they gain access, and control over a victim. It is also a tactic used to weaken, and dominate. It is kind of like a wolf, or apex predator that separates the calf from it’s mother.
Our sense of self and identity is closely tied to our mother, and our immediate family. The cultist is driven to rob you of your identity. They will insist you are not who you think you are, and claim you are someone else.
Even though I was a teenager, with a very good memory, this guy would repeat colossal lies over and over, literally hundreds of times. When you are kept awake all night, with repetitious shaming, and strangeness, it is beyond what the mind can comprehend.
At the time, I did not realize his religion was a cult. I knew something was seriously wrong with the whole experience, but I had no power of veto. I was the proverbial bad girl, and he would not take no for an answer.
He even went as far as telling me what he “liked to believe”. He liked to believe he had me since I was a very young child. He liked to believe my mother was not really my mother. She was wicked and non-redeemable, and therefore she did not deserve to be my mother. He liked to believe I was special, but not gifted (as in being a gifted student). That too, was shameful.
He would repeatedly tell me I was his daughter, God told him to adopt me, and I was his precious gift from God. He said I was very lucky, very special, and he was so proud of me. For crying out loud – he was a teacher. As it turned out, he was an authentic nutcase. I mean, who concocts such nonsense, other than a nutcase?
Every time he told me he was proud of me, I almost puked. I found it to be so repulsive, I had a visceral reaction. He would tell me I had the “exact same IQ” as his wife. He repeated that lie hundreds of times.
He would say raising me gave him premature grey hairs. He would talk about how I could be a difficult child, and had kept him awake many nights. Really? He was the one who was keeping me awake. What a twisted jerk.
He never raised me at all, in any way, shape or form. He was just over a decade older than I was. How could he have possibly raised me since I was a young child? He really should have been arrested, and lost his teaching license.
His behaviour was brazenly exploitive, criminal, and outlandish. He had no right to force me into a vehicle, and then forcibly confine me for hours on end. This is not a he said, she said case. At least half the grade twelve class witnessed him chasing me through the bush, and putting the grab on me. They saw him order me to “Get in that car or I will STUFF you in that car”. Anyone from the era, who is from my home town, knows this teacher did what he did.
He was a complete and total stranger to me. I was never once under his jurisdiction. I found him to be an atypical oddball, and very scary. I was afraid of him. To this day, I would put nothing past him. He was capable of anything. He had no morals, no empathy, and no respect for the laws, boundaries, truth, or professional guidelines. He was above the law.
As a teacher, he was very solemn, and was often yelling at students with a booming voice. He liked to strap kids, or grab them, and muscle them out of the classroom. He was more prone to physical violence by far, than any other teacher in the school.
What is even more icky is that he would tell other people, including members of my own family, the same warped things. He acted as though his choice to be a religious zealot made him untouchable, pious above all reproach, and arrogant beyond belief. He was a twenty eight year old teacher with a massive ego, and God complex.
Cultists target vulnerable people and families, because they do not have a good sense of boundaries. The ultimate goal is mind control. Psychology Today calls it soul murder, which is actually true, because they target the mind, spirit, will and emotions, which is our soul.
He stared without blinking. It was one of his most chilling traits. When he forcibly confined me all night long in his house, it was especially hair-raising and spooky, because he had large horn rim glasses, and all I could see was the reflection of his glasses, without seeing his eyes.
There were times I wondered if he was going to kill me. It took almost a lifetime to realize the extent of damage he did to me and my family. It took a very long time to finally go to the police, and it took even longer to deal with the PTSD from those nights of torture.
I could not extricate myself, because he was invited to every family function, and was treated with reverence. He was far more important than I was.
There were times I resisted. Many times. I also begged, cried and pleaded with him, and every member of my family. I tried reasoning with them, knowing full well they knew I was not adopted by the teacher, and had never been up for adoption anymore than they had been up for adoption.
This was an extension of family violence. It was a way of continuing the abuse into adulthood. When I pleaded to get out of the trap, a few times the teacher would finally say, “Okay then, you can be our special friend”.
I would gag. I did not want to be their special friend either. They were the last people I would ever be friends with by choice. They had no sense of humour. They were dreary, tiresome, flat, bland, insipid, arrogant, controlling, quiet, stodgy, and mind-numbing. All conversation was superficial and boring. I hated being around them. Every minute was like an hour.
It was like watching paint peel. I would find every excuse to go for a walk, take the garbage out, run an errand. Anything to break away for a few minutes. When I did, I never wanted to go back. I wanted to run for the hills, and disappear.
The only reason he gave permission to be special friends, was because it meant he was still the one who was defining the relationship. He was still in control. It meant he would still have access to me. It meant he could continue lying to everyone, pretending to be my “daddy”. It also meant that within a short time, the special friend would turn into the daughter, all over again. No boundaries means, you just keep on pushing.
Over the years, he probably gave me at least fifty or maybe even a hundred syrupy, sparkly cards. They were DAUGHTER cards, plastered with out of context Bible verses. Many of the cards were cards you would give to a six year old child. He had me locked into childhood trauma, and he was quite determined to keep me there.
Every chance he got, he would repeat the mantra “you are our daughter”. This lie was repeated thousands of times. He was literally drilling it into me. When his kids got older, he told them to tell me I was their sister. As if the statement itself was going to make something so blatantly false, into truth.
All of it made me cringe. I would recoil, turn away, shrug it off, and try to ignore those creepy claims. Normally, I would have promptly told a person like that to get lost, pound sand. In fact, in those days, I would not have minced words, and would have told him exactly where to go.
But you have to keep in mind, he was in collusion with a very powerful member of my own family. If not for that, I would not have put up with those ridiculous lies for a country second. If I made the slightest negative comment about this guy, I faced swift, and aggressive retaliation.
How many people sit there and repeat over and over to their real son or daughter – “you are my son, you are my daughter”. The answer is no one. People do not have to keep restating obvious facts.
He stared, and repeated flagrant lies. Did he sit there and say that to his own daughter on a daily basis? No of course not. A person only repeats a falsehood, because they are trying to indoctrinate, and use repetition, to get that falsehood instilled into your psyche.
After awhile, I realized the reason he stared so much, is because he was always trying to evaluate the impact of his constant lying. A brainwashing cultist tries to put your mind under a microscope, while simultaneously, and paradoxically ignoring every bit of body language, and every single thing you say.
He alternated between shaming me, and telling me how special I was. When he came to our family functions, he was always given a place of honour, and would be the one to say grace, or a prayer. He had the respect of a godfather, or some kind of deity. To me, he was nothing but a disgustingly corrupt teacher. Yet I dared not say so.
To those who support this con, and reject the truth of what actually happened, based on my own testimony, since I was the victim of this plot, I want to ask them a couple of questions.
How do they think this whole saga came about? Since when do teachers adopt students? Since when do teachers make false claims to adopt a student, so they can justify repeatedly forcing the student into a car, and then forcibly confining them all night long?
Clearly those who know about this false adoption claim, know by now, there was no adoption. So how does a teacher take on such a role in a family? How did the false adoption claim come about? And why are they all so afraid to challenge the big lie?
Is the teacher still going to every family function, pretending to be a pious do-gooder? I got kicked out of my own family, and he remained. People need to ask themselves what is the under belly of this dark con, and why is it so important to them?
He vehemently hated our mother. He did not know her. The men in the family were far worse, from a judgemental perspective, yet he never once said a word about them.
Initially it was very confusing and traumatizing. I had accelerated through school, and planned to get a post secondary education. I knew my education was paid for until I was eighteen, and also knew I could get a scholarship.
He was determined to prevent me from taking an academic route, as I had planned. He forced me into a nursing program, and then took credit for the fact I became a nurse. He did use me as a fund raising mascot for his cult religion. But then his wife immediately went back to University. In fact she graduated the same year I did.
During that time frame, they tried to force me to sign adoption papers, and change my name. I flatly refused. They were livid. At the time I was living in Calgary, and luckily my roommate came home, when they had me backed into a corner. She looked at me like, “What the heck is going on?”
Otherwise, I would not rule out they would have used force, like physically grabbed me. I knew I did not sign those papers, but I thought they might have forged my signature, and filed the papers anyway, because they did not accept, or acknowledge my refusal. They went and told everyone there had been a legal adoption.
Many years later, I contacted the Ministry, and Department of Vital Statistics, and asked if they had filed forged documents. They said no, which I already knew I guess, because by then I had been married, and had a passport, so I knew there had not been a name change.
They lied so convincingly, everyone believed them. Even though I said no, and told people I said no, I was not believed, and they were.
He did not use the money he raised through his church to put me through nursing. He used the money to put his wife through a nursing degree program. The plan was that she would be my mentor, and mother superior. I was an investment of sorts. Up until she went for her degree, she was very miserable with the fact her husband was obsessing over a young teenage girl.
Part of my attempts to argue and reason with him, was to tell him that following, and chasing me around all the time, was not good for his marriage. I told him his wife was not happy about it. But after she realized there was financial gains to be made, she changed her tune.
The lie about putting me through nursing was just another lie in the coffin. He had infiltrated the family and made himself into a godfather of sorts. Then he took credit for what I was, and what I did for a living. I owed him my life, my accomplishments, my existence, my identity, and must grovel with involuntary gratitude forever. I was not going to get away. Ever.
My education was paid for until I was eighteen, and then I took out a student loan. Later on when the family farm was sold, the debt was paid off. I knew the teacher did not put me through nursing, and I never asked him to. He was an absolute lying cheapskate. He would be the last person to buy you a coffee. He was cheap to the core, and so was his wife.
They kept track of every penny, and were not the least bit generous. A few times, they were generous superficially, and then went for the pound of flesh. They always extracted way more than they gave. It was like they were some kind of royalty, and were owed everything I ever had, or earned, or did.
When I graduated from high school, I went to school in Calgary, which is more than 300 km. from my home town, or around 200 miles away. The teacher most certainly did not babysit me, and nor could he follow me around outside of school.
It was the one major, albeit a temporary relief, putting some physical distance between me, and the cult couple. They had jobs and young children, so he could not follow me around. Even so, I was far from being rid of them as I had hoped.
In spite of all his lies about how much I needed intervention in high school, I still managed to go to classes, and wrote the RN exams when I was nineteen years old. I also managed to be on the President’s Honour Roll, and scored in the top percentile on the RN exams. He had nothing to do with it.
The teacher took all the credit for what I did. In hindsight, this was all designed to prevent me from accepting a scholarship into an academic English literature program. If I had been able to accept the scholarship, I would have been able to establish my own career path in a field of my own choice. Not only did he devise a way to infiltrate my family, and make ludicrous claims to be my father, he also tied himself to my career. He had all the bases covered, for a lifetime of entrapment.
The reason I stuck with nursing, is because getting a post secondary education was very important to me from the time I was in grade school. Even though I tried to break free when I graduated, I was still very much under the thumb of the teacher, and felt guilty whenever I thought of breaking free.
I did not want to be a nurse at all. It was a huge burden, and there was no credit given to me for going through it. All credit went to the teacher. At the time, I thought I would be able to get out of it, and do something else.
They acted like they owned my home, my labour, my mind, and dictated what my IQ was. They monitored my every move, what I wrote, and if they disapproved – if I was not the nice obedient nurse, and pseudo daughter, they had the means to punish me. I was easily ganged up on.
They set a trap, and they closed off all escape routes. Over a period of many years, he never stopped lying, never took no for an answer, and never stopped staring.
Even as a teacher, I could not stand the guy. His all encompassing authority, and macho man, tough guy swagger was immature and sickening. He had no personality to speak of, and neither did his wife. They were as boring as hell. I had to be nice, and pretend all was well. Just plaster a smile on my face, nod my head in agreement with every banal thing they said, and assume the position.
For years, I would put on a polite pretence, and go along with the facade, so I would not get brutalized and kicked out of my own family. I was biding my time. What a waste of a life.
I prayed, and I hoped they would change, and mellow over the years, and eventually just drop it. But they never did. They would not consider it for a moment. They were openly and brazenly exploiting me. Their demands were increasing, and they were getting bolder by the year.
There were times I was so depressed, I could hardly function. I was a mess. A basket case. Eventually I knew I had to get free of them, or I was as good as dead.
It got to the point where I could not even look at him. He was still getting everyone and their dog to manipulate, and pat me on the head, telling me how fortunate I was to have these wonderful Christians in my life.
I despised him. The reason I could not look at him, was because I nearly vomited when I did. I shrank away from both of them, and all their lies. When I let them know it was destroying me – they could care less. All that mattered was the lies, and keeping me in the trap. My misery was their goal. So what good was it going to do to tell them how destructive it was?
They believed I would never get out of it. They were smug, and self-righteous. How dare I hurt their feelings. They would repeatedly tell me that if I thought of “that wicked woman as my mother” they found it very hurtful. They would pout like spoiled children, and make a face, sort of like a mask of pity. It was so fake, and so appalling.
Over a period of many years, it was psychological warfare, with them putting on a pious look of normalcy, and vast superiority. Yet I could never, and would never forget those tortuous nights of being forced to sit and listen to his brainwashing, thought reform, and mind control when I was a kid in school. It was so creepy, it could be in a sci-fi horror movie.
At the time, I thought I was putting up a barrier. I thought I was able to fend off the twilight zone, of his authoritarian power, cognitive dissonance, lies, and sadistic spiritual, psychological and emotional abuse. It took many years before I realized how much damage he had done.
Getting free of the teacher is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and in all honesty I cannot take a shred of credit for it, because it was only by the grace of God that I got out of that snare. Otherwise I would have been dead long ago. I had to get out of nursing, and had to be prepared to give up my house, and every single relationship in my life.
It was the most abusive relationship of my entire lifetime, and by far the most tenacious. To this day I do not understand why they would be so determined to destroy my life. It is evil beyond comprehension. They had their own families, lives, and careers. They corrupted their own natural children, who they doted on like most narcissists do, because those darlings are the true extension of themselves.
I was a throwaway, like something they found at a garage sale, and could get some use out of. And yet I was expected to believe I was their child? Why would I believe such a ridiculous lie? Growing up – I was not doted on, by any stretch of the imagination.
Their children were not my siblings. I barely knew them, yet they too bought into the lies. Sort of, but not really. It was like they were mocking me for being so gullible. I was not gullible. I was in a trap that was sprung on me when I was a kid in school. The thing about psychopaths, is they actually believe the victim deserves what they do to them.
The biggest regret I have is not screaming blue murder, and getting the police involved immediately. But I was very afraid to do so. This man was a teacher, and he had aligned himself with some of my own family. I knew there would be an immediate retaliation if I went to the police. I also feared I would be kicked out of school, or persecuted so much in school that I would not be able to graduate.
At the time, I was just months away from graduating, and moving away from the small town and school, so I thought I would get free of him then. I got married, and thought I would be rid of the teacher. And yet, those events did not get rid of him.
It took until I was fifty years old to finally say, I will not spend one more minute with those horrible people. The last time they were at my house, I sat and watched the second hand on a big clock on the wall go round, and round. Every minute that went by, I told myself, I will not spend one more minute with them. Ever.
Fortunately, I made a choice many years ago to stop drinking alcohol. I did not have to go to rehab, and have never been treated for a mental health disorder. I do not have any judgment toward those who do need help, or cannot quit on their own. The reason I am glad, is because if I did need help, they would have used it against me. The stronger you get, the more they double down. If you are weak and floundering, they are happy as clams.
When they attempted to make claims I was mentally ill as a student in school, it was just another lie. There was no referral, no diagnosis, and no basis, other than to intrude into my mind, and shame me for doing well in school. He was determined to take over my mind, discredit what he wanted to eradicate, and take credit for what I did accomplish.
It is incredible to me, how powerful men can simply make the claim someone is mentally ill, without any basis for making the claim. Gaslighting is illegal. But of course they do not care about what is legal. They use the mentally ill claim to control and stifle dissent. They use it to prevent disclosure about their own conduct, and history.
When I terminated the relationships, I never told them outright, while they were in my home, because deep down, I was afraid of both of them. They killed numerous family pets. They were sadistic toward my feelings, and they were also cold and determined to keep exploiting me, and keep up the facade of being family, when they were not family. After they were gone, I sent them a letter terminating the relationship, and told them I wanted no contact with them.
What did they do? They turned around and came right back to Haida Gwaii to seek me out, and challenge me. They reverted back to the stalking behaviours. Fortunately in a small town, news travels fast, and I heard they were back.
Haida Gwaii is a long way from Alberta. But they clearly were not prepared to take no for an answer. I put the chains on the doors, checked all the windows, dead bolted the doors, turned out all of the lights, and was prepared to call the police if they tried to get in.
I was doing diabetic teaching at the time, and they managed to find where the office was located. They left a note on my office door. That is as close as they got. Fortunately, I was out seeing a patient when they showed up there. I am not sure if both the teacher and his wife were there, or just one of them.
After that, the roller coaster ride of fury, and grim orders, veiled threats, followed by absolute contempt and rejection, has been part of the punishment for getting free of that cult teacher.
Few things could be more dangerous than having someone stay in your home who you do not trust, and do not feel safe with. In Australia, the Exclusive Brethren cult are called the Brethren bullies. They are full of cloak and dagger tactics, to include death threats, and staging suicides. In 2007 the Australian PM declared they were a destructive cult that rips families apart. In my opinion, they are part of a network of organized crime.
Once I made the decision, it has been a major and ongoing battle. I was given a timeline to get back into it. I said NO. I was coerced, bullied, threatened, and then rejected by my own family. I have stood firm. Is it any wonder I had no power over this kind of dominance, when I was a teenage kid in school, without parental protection? I did not stand a chance.
I guess a word of caution, is to be careful, especially when it comes to religious authority. Don’t assume they are real Christians. Be wary of push in predators. And above all, never let someone lie so much they are claiming to be family.
That is the single, and biggest red flag of all. They are using a false front to push themselves into a place of intimacy, knowledge, control, manipulation, and involvement where they do not belong – well past all natural boundaries.
The hallmark of a cult, is to claim you are not who you think you are, and they are your family. No they are NOT. Many books of the Bible, go to great lengths to describe who begat who. These lying cults will circumvent every natural law, and natural relationship God created. They also take away our God given free will. They are evil masquerading as good.
All relationships need healthy boundaries. The cultist pushes past those boundaries, which is why he seeks to infiltrate a fractured family. When those boundaries are crossed, and those bonds are broken, he has robbed natural affection, and destroyed natural loyalties.
Through his lies, and lawlessness, he has taken the seat of the father, as well as God the father. He has pushed himself into a place of ultimate importance, centrality, control, power and authority. He is full of lying wonders.
If anything a cult can teach is, is to know the depths of Satan. To get free of it is by the grace of God, we are plucked out of the fowler’s snare.
As I look back, there were so many signs. So many brazen lies. So many contradictions, and things that do not align with God’s word, or character. I do remember telling him “God does not force us into a relationship with Him – so who are you to do so?”
When he told me God told him to adopt me, I said to him, “Does God talk to you out of the sky, or the walls or what?” Then I asked him, “Since it is my life, why wouldn’t God tell me too?”
It fell on deaf ears. In my experience with cultists, they will not listen, they cannot be reasoned with, they will not admit wrongdoing, or repent.
I know we are supposed to forgive one another. This is the one aspect of my own life’s experiences I find most difficult to forgive. I can forgive my family, because I love them, and know they too have faced hardship.
But to forgive the false teacher, is a tough one. He brought greater harm to an already fractured family. He has his own family. He has children and grandchildren. He used me, and he used our family, for personal and financial gain.
One of the saddest things, is in knowing how many people have been lied to, and corrupted over the years. Entire systems have been corrupted over this nefarious teacher plot.
One of the reasons I am writing, to share my testimony, and also writing some political commentary on a couple of social media sites, is to prove I am not mentally ill. Otherwise, if you have no visibility, they will lie, fabricate, and scheme up more false claims. People tend to believe it, especially if you have no visibility or voice. Just to be clear, the only time in my life I have been accused of being mentally ill, is when I refuted the teacher’s adoption lies. Cultists are liars.
Just to present some alternate and hypothetical scenarios, to help highlight how preposterous this plot has been. Imagine if the situation was reversed, and a student adamantly, and falsely claimed to have been adopted by a teacher.
In order to create a parallel type situation, imagine if that student repeatedly claimed they were the son or daughter of the teacher. What if they insistently made false claims that there had been a legal adoption, and also showed up at every one of the teacher’s family functions, as well as repeatedly showed up on the doorstep of the teacher.
What do you suppose would happen to the student? They would be called crazy for sure. They would be forced into treatment, evaluated, and diagnosed as delusional and psychotic. The police would be contacted, and there would be a restraining order put in place, to protect the teacher and his family. If it went on for years, the student would probably have spent time in jail, or a psych unit.
This is an example of the audacity involved when someone in authority decides to abuse power over someone who is considered to be powerless. If it was done in reverse, it would never be allowed to continue. How did he get away with it? There are hundreds of people who know about this teacher adoption claim. At the time, many people raised eyebrows, and questioned how it came about. Yet no one protected me.
The second scenario, is to imagine an adult man, who has the hots for young girls. He has carefully set himself up to have access to young girls. He pretends to be a do-gooder, a Mr. Hot Shot, and thinks he has a good cover. He has targeted a specific girl, and is obsessing over her day and night.
So he concocts a plan to tell people he is going to adopt her. He does this so he can justify stalking her, and putting the grab on her. After all, in his mind – she needs some discipline, intervention, authority, and control over her life. It gives him an excuse, under this psychotic daddy delusion to carry out his fantasy of overpowering his victim, and being alone with her for hours on end.
It could be a delusional and psychotic mindset, where he actually starts to believe God told him to be her daddy. Or it could be an intentional criminal scheme, to abduct and forcibly confine his dream girl, without facing consequences. Either way, should he actually be able get away with such a devious scheme?
What do you think would happen to this guy, when it was realized he was lying through his teeth, was forcing a teenage girl into his car, and taking her home with him? Even though he had crafted a ruse to try and get away with his crimes, should he be able to lie his way out of it? It would not be the first time a criminal abducted a child, and made false claims to be their parent.
But in such a case, when caught, the person would have been sent for a psych evaluation, or charged with kidnapping, and forcible confinement. It would have been all over the news, and he would have faced a long jail sentence. Abduction is a serious crime.
Back to the teacher in my life. Personally, I don’t care if this guy was religious or not. He did what he did, and there is no excuse for it. His religious stance, and teacher authority do not condone what he did. The familial collusion is a whole other Pandora’s box, yet to be addressed.
Now, even though this is still very much part of my life, and I do want to get it resolved – I lead a quiet life with purpose, and am not the least bit miserable. There are many things to enjoy, and be thankful for. Peace of mind, a sound mind, and the simple things in life, are the most rewarding. I keep reminding myself “the just shall live by faith”. It brings great comfort.
I know eventually the truth, and the motives behind all of this, will come to light. I just have to be patient.
I cannot help but believe he used the opportunity to score one for the devil. He did not succeed, thank God. When his day of reckoning comes, I hope he realizes the enormity of harm he has done, and repents.
One of the positives in this story, is that our mother accepted Christ years before she died. I was fortunate enough to visit her on her deathbed, while she was still lucid. She was radiant, and had no fear of death. She knew she was dying.
She told me she had already walked on the road with Jesus. She had so many near death experiences, I knew she was being candid. It was such a blessing to see her before she died. It was very important to both of us. I thank God to have seen her.
If not for the teacher, our dysfunctional family background would not have been disclosed. In order to get free of him, after trying for years to speak directly to them, as well as members of my own family, I had no other choice. When people do not respect boundaries, it means you have to go to the authorities.
In addition to contacting the police, I contacted the Alberta Teacher’s Association, The Canadian Teachers Federation, the school board, and the school I attended. I contacted the Ministry of Children and Families, and Alberta Victim’s of Crime.
It took all of that and more, to get this bullying teacher off my back. The RCMP acknowledged the wrongdoing, and the potential for charges. They also talked about the fact it might be difficult to get witnesses to agree to making statements, especially after a number of years had gone by.
But I know what he did, and I also know many others were witness to it. Most of us know it is a crime to force anyone, let alone an underage kid into a car, and then forcibly confine them all night long. He did this many times, from late November, until I graduated in early June.
The discussion I had with the RCMP, was enough to convince me that if this case had been brought to them at the time, he would have been arrested for abduction, forcible confinement, and making repeated fraudulent claims. I am not prepared to be punished, or scapegoated any longer for the crimes he committed.
One of the primary reasons cults do not want you to get away, is because it takes until you do get away, to piece together all the brainwashing tactics, coercion, theurgy, and bewitching mind control.
They were always so concerned with what I am thinking. They can read my blog, because finally, I am freely sharing what I am thinking. I hope he reads this, and realizes he did a crappy job of thought reforming me.
I would like him to know he has no power over me. Yes I do think about what he did, because it went on for so long, and involved so many people. But I take it as an experience that drew me closer to God, and the truth in the Bible. So in an indirect way, the hoodoo sortilege, helped me to sort things out.
After our mother died, it confirmed in my mind in the weeks, and months to follow – just how barbaric the teacher was. What kind of person forcibly confines a person, to repeat a litany of lies, identity assault, and tells a kid their mother is wicked and non-redeemable? It just goes to show the magnitude of his arrogance, deception, and cruelty. I do not care who judges me for the fact I reported him to everyone I could think of. They pushed me to the limits of human endurance.
In my opinion, this is an example of a long and drawn out crime, because those who set it up, were not held accountable at the onset of this depraved plot.
I am glad I am not in a position to judge him, because I am not quite sure how I would handle it. God can deal with him. I never could. The contradictions of biblical truth compared to what this teacher did, are glaringly obvious.
The reason I find it so difficult to forgive the teacher, is because it is next to impossible to separate the broken record of lies surrounding my own identity, from his disordered character and persona. I reject all of the lies, and therefore I reject him as the gross entity, or assemblage of those lies.
It is kind of like looking at the reflective glare of his glasses during those all night brainwashing sessions, without being able to see the soulless character behind the glare. It is like trying to forgive a blinding mass of lies that came out of a cavern somewhere.
When someone lies like that, and you barely knew him to begin with, you do not know who, or what, you are trying to forgive. I reject all the lies, as a matter of preserving my own soul and identity. If I try to separate him as a person, from all his lies, what is left? Not much.
I guess to try and figure out this Christian conundrum, enigma, or quandary surrounding forgiveness, it requires an ability to see the heart and humanity of the person somehow. It means we should separate the sin from the sinner. When I try to do so, all I see is an empty shell. I pray to be able to find a way to forgive this person, without accepting any of the lies.
It is also difficult to let go of something so hideous, when the punishment for setting a boundary, and commitment to truth – continues to flog me. When family is so deeply involved in such a scheme, it is next to impossible to stop the punishment, if they will not agree to stop it.
God tells us to honour our mother and father. It is mentioned throughout the Bible, and is the fifth commandment.
God hates a liar, and a lying tongue. It is at the top of the list of things condemned by God. Proverbs 6: 16-19, Proverbs 18: 21, Revelation 21:8 says ALL liars will go into the lake of fire.
I was a silly woman, and certainly did have sin in my life. The teacher did try to creep in and take over my house. They seemed to think my home was going to be their retirement home, complete with maid service.
As I become more familiar with the Bible, there are hundreds of verses to contradict the indoctrination and lies drummed into me by this pseudo Christian teacher. I wish I had been strong enough, and well versed enough to refute those lies. By their fruits we shall know them – Mathew 7:15-20:
At the end of the day, and the end of the age, can we finally see, understand, and hear why God tells us to repent? If so, we have much to be thankful for.
Thanksgiving is my favourite holiday. May God bless this thanksgiving, with peace, truth, and love.
Sir Walter Scott’s well crafted quote from 1808; “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.” is a classic axiom.
None of us are totally innocent when it comes to lying. It is just that some people are very brazen, and lie with a purpose. They have no shame, or conscience when it comes to lying. It is as natural as breathing.
Most of the little white lies, are designed to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or to embellish a good story.
But the pathway for chronic liars, and lying, is a crooked one indeed. There is no excuse to be made for any lies, because little white lies, can easily become whoppers. It is especially so if the liar has made gains out of lying, without ever facing any consequences.
A chronic liar, eventually will not be believed about anything, even if he does tell the truth. It is one thing to lie about your own life, but it is another story when a person lies about someone else, and tries to create a false narrative around their life.
They will do this sort of thing to cover wrongdoing, to set the stage for exploitation, and to create a pretence of being something they are not. Once they embark upon those big lies, and repeat them often, they cannot easily back out of them. They create their own trap.
It happens in businesses, in religious circles, in schools, in communities, in families, in marriages, and in true crime. I always used to think, “If your wife can’t trust you, who can?” No one.
Pathological liars will take things a step further, and manipulate others into advancing their lies. They seem to think if they repeat the lies often enough, and corrupt those around them to maintain the lies, they will create concepts set in stone. Lying creates an unstable foundation. It will eventually crumble.
Lying goes with all kinds of ulterior motives, from stealing, to sexual assault, to adultery, to crime, and to cause harm to the reputation of those who are being lied about. Often, if a person becomes a threat to someone who has something to hide, that person will become a target of a malicious, and deceptive character assassination.
Even though we have all told lies, it does not make it okay to lie. In fact, it is one of the things God hates most. I can see why too. It leads to countless problems, and is often the precursor to serious crimes. In the bible, the devil is called the “father of lies”.
Deception is probably the single most damaging thing in the entire world. It leads to all kinds of injustices, murders, cover-ups, family breakdown, and broken relationships across all walks of life. It rips families apart, destroys businesses, and worst of all, it erodes trust. Trust is part of the foundation of love.
In true crime, police detectives will interview a suspect over and over, to catch him in his lies. A person has to have a very good memory, in order to lie effectively. Once they are caught in a lie, their whole story starts to unravel.
Politicians are known to lie. Some are far worse than others. We rely on political leadership. Lying erodes the foundation of democracy, and leads to widespread corruption. All politicians are in temporary positions where they can, and do, wield power. But if they deceive the masses, and abuse that power, they will get voted out, and leave the stain of their own flawed character, on the political party they represent, and the history of a nation, a province, a municipality, or a city. All for what?
One of the key things to note about almost all liars, is they are also arrogant. They seem to think they will never get caught. They must view lying as a sign of their own cleverness, and guile. They are invincible, untouchable, and as slick as a greased pig.
I have watched several tell all interviews on a YouTube show called Soft White Underbelly by Mark Laita. He interviews people from all walks of life, in particular the seedy side of life. Some of the interviews are quite amazing, some are sad, and some are too off the wall to even listen to.
Those interviews do shed some light on crime, addiction, prostitution, porn, child abuse, organized crime, self-destruction, Only Fans, strippers, nudists, thieves, murderers, etc.
He also features war veterans, Navy Seals, survivors, homicide detectives, and every kind of extreme – from heroes to hackers, to whackos.
One of the guys he interviewed was a counterfeiter. He had a degree in graphics arts, and was also a functional addict. He had a girlfriend, and the two of them would travel from city to city, and live out of hotel rooms. They had all the counterfeit equipment in their luggage. It actually did not require much equipment. A laptop, a printer, the right kind of paper, some colours to mix, and a few small tools for applying the seals, and fine touches.
Their pattern was to get up in the morning, and make the money, which required concentration, precision, and care. He was quite disciplined to get the work done first thing in the morning. Then when they had a wad of bills, they would go out on the town – shopping, buying drugs, fancy dinners, and then hit the clubs.
The next morning they would move on, before the shops, and restaurants found out they had taken in counterfeit money, and where it came from. The guy was so good at making it, he even stood confidently, while people put the bills under intense counterfeit scrutiny. He had managed to find ways to overcome almost every test they came up with.
Eventually they did get caught. He got caught because he started using the money to buy larger quantities of drugs. The dealers figured out he was using counterfeit money. Because it was well done, they wanted more of it. In the end, he got busted because of the drug dealers he became involved with.
As it turned out, instead of a ten year prison sentence, the FBI offered him a deal to teach classes on the methods he used, and to disclose where he got the special seals, pigments etc. He had perfected the colour shading, using the pigments in eyeshadows, of all things. He said he spent hours and hours in the cosmetic sections of department stores looking for the right shade of green.
One of the counterfeit tests, is to hold the bill up to the light, and tilt it, to see if the colours, and metallic glint is perfectly matched. There is another test that picks up a counterfeit silver mark, which is applied separately to help distinguish the real from the fake. He found a place online that sold those silver symbols, as perfect undetectable replicas.
He ended up breaking up with his girlfriend, and gave up the drugs, which was a blessing. After that, he got a plea deal, and went on to teach about counterfeiting, how it is done, and how to recognize it. Part of his plea deal was that he must tell the truth, and hold nothing back, which he agreed to.
The same thing happened to a brilliant and sophisticated hacker. He went from being homeless to becoming a multimillionaire, until he got caught. He was not an addict, but out of desperation, living out of his car, after his parents kicked him out as a teenager, he met a girl who believed in him. He moved in with her, got a computer, and started hacking to make money. His story is mind boggling. He was able to hack into anything, and everything, as well as to point out the vulnerabilities in any system.
So he too, got busted, and then got hired to identify vulnerabilities in computer systems, and demonstrate how easy it is to hack into them.
The interesting thing about both of these guys, compared to the other criminals he interviewed, is that they were humble. They did not brag, and they came clean on everything they had done, and how they did it. They knew it was wrong, and they were relieved to find a way to confess, and then go on to lead more honest, law abiding lives, while still using their exceptional talent.
But in the cases of hard core addicts, convicts, and mafia bosses, one of the biggest differences, is they were profoundly arrogant. In many cases you could tell they were either embellishing, or hiding things, to make themselves appear less barbaric, or more heroic.
Some of them had absolutely nothing to be arrogant about. They were shameless though, and were arrogant over the worst behaviours known to humans. It is perplexing to see how much people can deceive themselves.
In many of the interviews, you can tell the person has a penchant for self deception more than anything. One 74 year old, overweight woman, who was portraying herself as a star on Only Fans, as a well seasoned sex symbol – claimed to be making hundreds of thousands of dollars every few months.
Some of her video shoots were cringe worthy. Not that I am body shaming a 74 year old woman. But, when combined with some of the outfits, attitude, language, and activities she was advertising, it was hard to believe. Only Fans definitely has an “anything goes” hypothesis. But the big question is – where does it go?
As the interview went on, she started talking about buying a truck for her son. She described a used truck for $4,000.00 and then went on to say she put a $1,000 down payment, and then financed the rest. She was proud of being able to make the purchase for her son, when in the past, she had no means to do so.
There may have been an element of truth to her story, but if she really was making hundreds of thousands of dollars every few months, wouldn’t you think she could just buy a truck for her son?
So many of those stories are obviously, and dramatically embellished, yet if you read the comments, they all seem to believe every word of it.
First of all, drug addicts, ex-convicts, strippers, thieves, and prostitutes are not known for being brutally honest. In such a world, and with lifestyles that rely upon deceiving people, they are not likely to be telling the truth. The interview itself is opportunism, and in the case of Only Fans, porn stars, and escorts, they are using it as another marketing platform.
Chronic and pathological lying is a character disorder. Not all liars are murderers, but you can be pretty sure that most murderers are also liars. Chronic lying will erode a person’s character, and will often lead to worse things.
Even if a person does not get caught – eventually all those lies will catch up to them. Like getting caught in a squirming school of jelly fish, every single one of those lies will come back to bite, and entangle them.
We should all do a lying inventory, on a regular basis. If we have lied, we should confess, and apologize. If we keep lying, God will send us strong delusion, and we will lose the ability to discern the truth.
Ultimately God has no mercy for unrepentant liars. We cannot keep truth, and lying in the same household, or even within the same soul. We have to honour and seek the truth. There is no middle ground.
Now you might say, what if someone asks you if you like their horrible green and yellow hair do? Do you say, it’s nauseating and hideous, because it is what you are thinking?
Or worse yet, what if your good friend asks you if you think their wife is having an affair, and you have seen her with the other person? You might know it is no secret, and he is the last to know.
Even for people who seek the truth, and want to be honest, we can be put in some dicey situations. Perhaps with the green and yellow hair, you could ask them if they like it, and are happy with it. And then let them know, it does not matter what everyone else thinks. After all – it’s their hair.
The same with the question about the affair. You could ask your friend why they are suspicious, and what has caused the trust to erode? You might be able to be honest, without being brutal.
In one awful true crime case, a young man was suspicious of his wife, because of the way she was acting. He talked to his best friend about it, without having a clue it was his best friend who was having an affair with his wife. Of course the best friend lied to him.
These two guys had been best friends since childhood. Their parents went to the same church, and they both met their future wives in Sunday school. They were each other’s best men and bridesmaids at their weddings, and gave an outward appearance of living happily ever after.
The lying best friend sold his buddy a million dollar life insurance plan, and then plotted with his wife to kill him. One can hardly imagine the shock that poor man felt in the moments before his best friend shot him in the face.
He lured him into going duck hunting, and then pushed him overboard, thinking his waders would drown him. However, he managed to get out of the waders and swim to a nearby stump. As he clung to it calling for help, his buddy circled round, got close to him, and shot him point blank.
He then hid and buried his body in a murky swamp, where it stayed for over twenty years. This case was kept alive by the victim’s mother. She was relentless in her search for her son, and wrote something like 9000 letters to law enforcement over the years. She knew who had done it.
The reason the mother knew who had done the crime is because of the way her daughter in law had acted after the disappearance. She did not want anyone looking for him. In fact she was furious when her mother in law put up billboards, seeking help from the public to find her son.
The daughter in law collected the million dollars on the insurance policy, and after just a few months, the murderer moved in with her, and they got married. Both of them were steeped in adultery and deception, and the marriage fell apart.
After the marriage dissolved, they were out to kill each other, because of all their secrets. He hid in her car with a kill kit and a gun, and kidnapped her at gunpoint. He ordered her to drive to a remote location, but she drove into a busy downtown area and parked under a surveillance camera. She managed to convince him to get out of the car, and they could resume the conversation later on, with the hope of resolving and reconciling. She had no such intentions, and promptly drove to the nearest police station and reported the kidnapping.
When she reported the kidnapping, the detectives wanted more background, as in – what about the missing husband from twenty years ago? She adamantly refused to talk about it. She gave them orders to deal with the kidnapping, and don’t ask questions. She was haughty and arrogant.
They arrested her ex for the kidnapping, and offered him a plea deal, which he took. He had to show where the body was, and give all the details of the crime, as well as her involvement. When they found the body, after twenty years, he still had his wedding ring on his finger.
The woman, to her shock and dismay, got a longer prison sentence than the man who carried out the murder. He got the maximum sentence for kidnapping, and she got charged with conspiracy to commit murder.
The mother of the victim finally got her wish, which was to find out what happened to her son. She never let the case go cold. She lived to see justice, even though it was heartbreaking to realize the adultery, lying, and eventual murder that evolved out of these church families who knew each other all their lives.
The guy who killed his best friend was one of the sleaziest men you could ever imagine. Even when he gave his detailed testimony, and described all the affairs, the murder plot, and the crime itself, he was arrogant. He said they believed they were like David and Bathsheba, and would be forgiven by God, so it was no big deal. What an incredible way to rationalize a most horrific betrayal and crime.
One of the big differences is that David was immediately filled with remorse, and confessed what he had done. He was devastated.
In this case, the killer got away with the crime for twenty years, and they lived on the insurance blood money, without a conscience. Neither one of them had any remorse. Nor did they have any compassion for the grief stricken mother. The murderer only confessed to save his own skin.
He ended up whining incessantly over the fact he was given the maximum sentence for kidnapping, because they had agreed not to charge him for the murder. Talk about a delusional couple. They both believed they had been mistreated by the system when they got sentenced. Neither one of them ever demonstrated remorse. The victim was a faithful, hardworking husband. But they never had a shred of remorse.
We cannot be free of all character flaws, and lying is certainly one of them. But we can be aware of how important it is to avoid lying, to be trustworthy, and to confess any lies we do find ourselves caught in.
When we recognize and admit wrongdoing, it is an opportunity to abandon such things in the future. If we don’t acknowledge our faults, how can we change? If we keep lying, we can become hardened, and not even care after awhile.
The advice to guard our hearts, is not only to protect ourselves from wolves in sheep’s clothing, but also to protect ourselves from becoming the wolf. If we become chronic liars, chances are, we are a wolf too.
So purging the lies, is a way of keeping a pure and honest heart. You may not get any credit for it in the short term, but a clear conscience in the long run, is more valuable than gold.
If we can manage to stop deceiving ourselves, and deceiving others, we can pray for wisdom and discernment. We will not have either, if we cannot first seek the truth.
A path of lying can take people on a journey into the dark underbelly of life, and death. While the pathway to truth, is the journey to our sanctification, and redemption. If we believe in Christ, He will show us the way, the truth, and the life.
In many ways we are all solitary travellers, and the road we choose to take, is a matter of life and death. Although it was probably not written from a Christian perspective, Robert Frost captured the importance of a divergent path, and the choices we make in ‘The Road Not Taken” written in 1915.
As a child, I still vividly remember hearing this poem, and being fascinated by it, envisioning the scenery, and the man who stood pondering which way to go:
The scams are rampant these days, and seem to be getting worse. Some of the most common ones:
CRA scams will target people, often seniors, advising the person of a deposit to be made, with a link to open. If they can get a person to pick up the phone, they might tell them they owe CRA money, and will try to instil fear. I think it is best not to answer CRA calls, and never open a link to deposit money to your account. Instead login to your CRA account and check to see if there is an outstanding balance.
Fake shipping scams via text or email, are also very common. They will have a fairly convincing looking copy of the company logo. If you are not expecting a package, you can be pretty sure it is a phishing scam. If you are expecting a package, rather than respond to the potential scam, login to UPS, Canada Post, or whatever, and use the tracking number to check.
There are also scams posing as Amazon, warning you about suspicious charges on your credit card. Ignore them, and check the card, as well as the order info on the Amazon website.
The rule of thumb, first and foremost, is not to take the bait. Delete the message. And go to the source separately from any messages you get.
Suspicious emails will often have a long string of characters, instead of a corporate identity. After awhile, you learn to recognize the layout, and return email when it comes to your bank, PayPal etc.
Probably the most concerning, is when they send you a text giving you the first or last numbers of an account, and then saying there is suspicious activity on the account. It is cause for concern, because they do seem to have the account number.
In that case, once again, login and check your account. Change the passwords, and security questions. Some banks will allow you to change from using your client card number, to a username. If a scammer has your client card number, it makes sense to change to a username, as well as changing your password.
Many of us have been scammed, myself included. There are some very deceptive tactics. Be especially cautious of Interac e-transfers. When I was scammed, it was due to an e-transfer. I had to change accounts, and send a notarized declaration to the bank, to say I did not give anyone access to the account.
After that, you have to change all the automatic deposits, withdrawals etc. So prevention is better than having to deal with the aftermath. Like any other form of invasion, or theft, it leaves you feeling vulnerable, and trying to figure out how it happened.
It is a good idea to clear the cache on your computer on a regular basis, and check all the security and privacy settings.
As far as online shopping, it might be a good idea to get a pre-paid Visa card, which can be set up in certain banks, and can also be purchased from Canada Post for $10. You can load the card at the post office, if you want to avoid doing so online using your bank information. The card seems to be secure with an online login, and detailed list of all transactions. You can use it like a regular card. When you are planning on making a purchase, or purchases, you can load the amount you need, and otherwise keep the balance low. I have never had a scammer contact me in relation to the Canada Post Visa, but have had scammers contact me re the standard MasterCard.
Although I have not had any direct experience, I have read there are fake taxi scams, where a person buys a taxi sign off Amazon, and then sits at an airport. That is pretty scary, to think you might inadvertently get into a stranger’s vehicle. They will then use your debit card to access your account.
Others have reported that cards can be scanned while they are on your person. Once again, this seems incredible. I use a metal business card holder for bank cards. I think one of the greatest vulnerabilities is the use of tap. It may be convenient, but it is too convenient. If someone manages to steal your card, they do not have to know the pin number, or anything in order to use it.
We have been lulled into a world of convenience. But when you get scammed, convenience goes out the window. It is very inconvenient to have to deal with a scam. Apparently it is also very difficult to catch the scammers.
It seems the best approach is to avoid responding to any unknown contacts. In my opinion, this includes online surveys, claims you have won a prize, robocalls, etc. Be highly suspicious of anything that tries to convey a sense of urgency, or demands a response.
We do not have to answer the phone when it comes to unknown callers. We do not have to respond to unsolicited text messages or emails. If we did not initiate the contact, chances are they want something from us.
Personally, I do not save passwords on any device due to the syncing, and hacking potential. I believe it increases vulnerability. I also believe it is important to be very cautious who you hire to file your taxes, and who you give access to when it comes to filing. Unless you have a very complex situation, it is probably best to file your own taxes. There is now some very good tax filing software that makes it easier to file, as well as to track any potential errors.
For those who have a lot of money, of course things are much more complicated, and likely, they will have sophisticated measures in place to protect their accounts.
But for the average Joe, we are sitting ducks, if we don’t use vigilance and care. Keep a list of your accounts, and check them frequently to stay on top of things. Never click on a link when you get an unsolicited email or text.
If someone makes a shipping error, and sends you something you did not order, wait and see what happens. It is difficult to contact an organization when you do not have a purchase order, a record of purchase, or payment.
We are not responsible for the incompetence of a business, that does not properly process, ship or track an item. If they send something you did not order, wait awhile, see if they send someone to pick it up, and then after three or four weeks, donate it. There have been scams that create a huge hassle for a person, in order to return a product to they can gain access to your account, over a shipping error.
Given all the addiction, and street crime, I think it is safer to keep bank cards, phone, and keys in a zippered pocket, or a fanny pack around your waist, as opposed to carrying a large hand bag when out walking. In some cases, it might be better to just bring one debit card, as opposed to a wallet full.
It is unfortunate to see such a rise in scams, and trickery. Yet we really cannot avoid the fact that all records are online. This includes all financial, and medical records, and websites we visit.
You will also notice how many websites offer something free. But in most cases, it is only a free trial, and after a 14-30 day period, they will be charging you full price. They want to get you hooked into the subscription.
Recently I answered an online questionnaire about shoulder pain. The website claimed they would help identify the problem free of charge. I knew darn well, they would get you to answer thirty questions, then ask for money at the end, before telling you anything.
So just to see, I answered the questions, and sure enough, at the end, they wanted money, even though they advertised it as free. Unless you want to waste your time, don’t fall for the free ads. But what it did for me, was it helped identify the specific movements that caused the pain. Then after I narrowed it down, I was able to see that it was likely a rotator cuff injury.
When I thought about it, I realized how I got the injury lifting and moving container plants. So I evaluated anything that might worsen it, and stopped doing anything to cause strain, as well as started exercise to help with range of motion.
In addition to being vigilant over financial institutions, we also have to be vigilant over our health, because the system is overloaded as it is. I know there are many people who discredit any attempts to self-diagnose. But I think if it is something you can evaluate, and then take measures to see if it will improve – why not?
Some people adamantly believe in yearly check-ups, taking doctors advice as gospel, taking whatever prescription medication they are prescribed, and going through whatever diagnostic tests they are told to go through.
Once again, I think it is wise to maintain autonomy, and evaluation over our own health. If we have something seriously wrong, we will have to go to a doctor or hospital. We know our own body better than anyone else does. Once you notice something is off, it means we need to evaluate the cause, and change something to see if it improves.
Just like it is not a good idea to turn our financial matters over to every scam or contact, we should also be wary of drug promotions, and turning our physical selves over to the system, if we can help it.
It is not a matter of rejecting all things, but rather, sharpening our discernment, and making careful choices, based on what we are experiencing and observing. Some people turn themselves over to a doctor, like they would take a used car to a mechanic, and say “fix it”.
However, personal responsibility means exercising caution, and good judgement. We all make mistakes, and worse yet, we can all be deceived, or misled. It is not to suggest that certain diagnostic tests, and certain medications are not beneficial, the same as not all deals, or sales are scams.
We just have to become more adept at filtering, and sorting the good from the bad. I think we also need to trust our intuition, and gain confidence in our own better judgement. Experts are not always experts, and advice is not always sound advice. I think we should always be able to take it or leave it when it comes to our own lives, health, and ability to steer clear of trouble.
Obviously I cannot answer this question from a secular perspective. Probably no one can. The division, or more aptly the chasm presented on future predictions, is a rivalry between atheism, various world religions, and authentic Christianity, based on biblical prophecy.
Millions of people try to figure out the future. Some are atheists and secular humanists, and see a future based on AI, science, and transhumanism. This gives rise to all the body altering and anti-aging ideas, as well as the concept of freezing bodies for a future revival. It alters the course of humanity, and claims to have control over the way the future unfolds.
In my opinion, AI is based on programming by humans. It is structured the way they want to structure it. It cannot take on a life of its own, because it is technology, and is not alive.
The exceptional growth of AI does transcend certain human capacities, based on the massive amounts of data, computational abilities, and what can be extrapolated from the data.
One scientist, using ChatGPT was able to gather data, and set up tables on drug reactions covering over 6000 drugs. After doing so, he broke it down into classes of drugs, countries, age groups, and so on. This kind of information can be beneficial, and provide some valuable insights on large collections of data.
The same goes for economics, and numbers, because AI is geared toward mathematical compilations. Modelling has been widely used for many years, however as we saw with covid, it can be wildly inaccurate.
AI certainly has its limitations, which in my opinion, relates most of all to language. The nuances, figures of speech, and patterns in language, are not as easy to interpret correctly like numbers are. If you listen to ChatGPT stories, they mispronounce multiple words, to the point it sounds automated and fake. If there is such brilliance, why can’t they pronounce Versace?
Can AI discern human emotions, human motives, and human intuition? I think the answer is no. Given the limitations of AI, one would be wise to see it as a valuable tool in data analysis, mathematical computations, research, and to a certain more limited extent, language, beliefs, and the human condition. It is far from infallible, as we have seen from modelling, to science fiction like dystopian worldviews, to word usage.
Although there are psychics, and people who predict the future on every topic, from the stock market to finding dead bodies, most are either vague, fallible, or both.
Nostradamus was probably the most famous of all, when it comes to secular predictions. To determine who he was, including his background, and how he came to be so famous, contains many layers, and multifarious quatrains. Regardless, most of his predictions were rather vague, as it is with most psychics, horoscopes, and predictions based on astrology.
Nostradamus was born in France in 1503 to a wealthy and prominent Jewish family. His grandfather was a physician, and he too, became a physician. At the time, astrology was part of the required studies, because it was believed to be part of health for some reason.
Therefore he was an astrologer, a physician, a seer, and was also considered to be a scientist. In the 16th century, there was not much distinction between science, astrology, and mysticism.
Beginning in 1549 Nostradamus began publishing a yearly almanac predicting the weather. The almanac also included other future events, and it became a well known yearly publication until his death in 1566. He was also very interested in plagues, and predicting health outcomes.
Interestingly, he wrote most of his material in poetic quatrains, or four line stanzas. This led to his most famous works “Les Propheties” or “The Prophecies” consisting of a hundred quatrains in groups of ten. The groups were described as “Centuries” but did not refer to actual centuries in the timelines as we know them. This means his most famous, world renowned work, basically consisted of four hundred lines of verse.
Since verse contains a lot of symbolism, metaphor, and ambiguity, not everyone agrees that he actually predicted the events credited to him. Those events include the great fire of London, the rise of Napoleon and Hitler, the dawn of the atomic age, the Sept 11 attacks on the World Trade Centre, and many more.
However, the predictions were not very clear. The reasons for this is supposedly because he feared being persecuted by the church, for using astrology to make the claim of having prophetic visions. Others say it was because it gave him leeway for all the inaccuracies.
In addition to astrology, he believed in Hinduism, and the coming of the Hindu god Kalki Avatar to save people, and destroy the wicked. But like so many of his prophecies, he did not mention Hinduism, or this god by name. He made reference to these beliefs in his quatrains, so they were always open to interpretation.
As far as the question, how accurate were these predictions? They were as unerring as you want them to be. In addition to the material being written in verse, was the fact it was written in archaic French language of the era. Verse, due to its skeletal structure, is very difficult to translate.
Archaic, and ambiguous verse written in the 16th century, is even more difficult to translate with any accuracy. So not only are the predictions unclear, and easily misconstrued, but so too, was the language and translation of the quatrains.
If anything, the conclusion surrounding the world’s most famous soothsayer, it tells us such predictions cannot be relied upon. In fact, it was rather arrogant of him to call his quatrains prophecy. He should have known better. Four hundred elusive quatrains can hardly be aligned with future events, without doing a few contortions.
On the other hand, the bible, if you are a believer, is the only truly prophetic written word in existence. In contrast to Nostradamus, the Bible contains over 31,000 verses in 66 books, averaging 471 verses per book.
To the non-believer, the bible does not contain accurate prophecies. However there are many historical records to align with scripture. There is much speculation surrounding the events of the past, as well as the future prophetic events. When we believe the bible, we place our trust in what it says.
Even among bible believing Christians, we often misconstrue, or misinterpret what we do not understand. I was listening to a podcast this morning published by an intelligent person who has done a significant amount of research.
His conclusions about the falsehoods surrounding dispensationalism made a lot of sense. But as he went on into more detail about his beliefs regarding future biblical prophecies, I could not follow his logic around the interpretation of future events.
He does not believe in a future millennial reign of Christ on earth. He believes this millennial reign has been in existence since Christ died on the cross. He also does not believe Satan will be bound when Christ returns. He believes Satan has already been bound. Therefore he views what most of us see as prophetic events to be filled in the future, as having already happened.
I did not listen to all of his theories, but it seems he believes these important events are in the past, because he does not understand how or why Satan would be released again, after the thousand year reign. He also believes Christ is reigning now, therefore it cannot be projected into a future millennial reign.
I went back and re-read the Book of Revelation, and many other verses pertaining to the future of this world, and cannot see how the millennial reign of Christ can be denied, placed in the past, or present, or viewed as metaphorical. This fellow used the argument that many of us are mistaken, because we have a literalistic view of the scriptures. I disagree. We are not limited to a literalistic view at all.
The bible is full of symbolism, metaphors, figures of speech, and literalism. It contains a rich collection of language style and phraseology, combined with past, present and future tense. It was written by forty different authors, each with their own expressive literary style. In my opinion, the combination of God’s inspired words, exquisite literary ability, and divine spiritual understanding, makes it the highest literary achievement of all time.
When we read about Christ’s time on earth with the disciples, and all the descriptions of how he healed so many people, is that not literal? They are describing actual events concerning the healing of physical bodies.
When we read verses about the seven spirits of God, and being born of the spirit, we know those descriptions are not describing the flesh. When we read about the beasts in the Book of Revelation, we know those are metaphorical descriptions of kingdoms, or dominant world powers. The dragon represents Satan. The horns on the beast represents kings. Therefore, when we read the bible, we are reading a combination of language constructs.
Although there are many things in the bible I do not fully understand, I have faith they will one day be revealed. However I do not see how anyone could believe Satan has been bound. We are seeing far too much violence, lawlessness, deception, abominations, and crisis after crisis, all throughout the world.
The bible actually tells us Satan is roaming the earth, knowing he has little time left, so he is more aggressive than ever. He has been roaming the earth, since he was cast out of heaven with one third of the angels, who chose to follow him. The only time Satan is bound, is written in the Book of Revelation 20: Verses 1-3:
Why, after a thousand years is he loosed for a little season? This is perplexing for sure. But to disregard all the verses describing the millennial reign of Christ, is not the answer to this question. There has to be a reason, whether we understand it or not.
I believe the thousand year millennial reign has to be be a literal reign. For believers, and overall, we know Christ has the ultimate victory, and we know He reigns in our own hearts and minds right now. We also know He will return to the earth, in power and glory. There are many verses telling us when this happens, it is for a period of a thousand years.
Some people believe we all go to heaven, but there is no biblical basis for such a belief. The verses that tell us about the future events, make frequent reference to the earth, to the nations, and locations of where all these things take place.
The binding of Satan, and the peaceful thousand year reign is not the finale. It is part of the process. The bible tells us the whole earth will be filled with the knowledge of God. Obviously we have a lot to learn. It also tells us we will have some role in the final judgement day, when the rest of the dead (non-believers) will be resurrected to face judgment.
The ending of the millennial reign is very significant, to include the final judgment day, and the temporary release of Satan, as another very climactic event. It represents the complete eradication of sin, death, and the world as we have known it. It is the fulfillment of the time period, and preparation required – to usher in the eternal kingdom of God.
The millennial reign of Christ is a distinct period of time, with a distinct purpose. When this period of time ends, and the new earth is created, God will come to the earth to be with His people. There will be no night, and there will be no sun or sea. There will be no more sin, no more death, no more pain, no more crying, no more conflict, no more rejection, no more deception, We will all be partakers of the fruits from tree of life. God will be the light of the world. The description of the new earth, is different than it is during the 1000 year reign.
This ultimate defeat of all evil, and of death itself, to include a new earth and a new heaven, is something that happens after the millennial reign. For some reason, many preachers choose to ignore, or blot out this important 1000 year period, that is outlined in the bible prophecy.
For those who believe the thousand year reign is happening now, and has been since Christ was crucified and raised from the dead, they explain the contradiction of timelines, based on the fact Christ was raised from the dead 2000 years ago, by saying the thousand year reign, just means a very long time. I think to make such an interpretive stretch, is not what the bible intends. Of course people can believe what they choose to believe. But as Christians we are advised to diligently seek the truth, and test all spirits.
There has never been a time on this earth, since the Garden of Eden, where a child can lead a lion, or when there has been no war or violence. Clearly we are looking at future events, not past or present. The same with the binding of Satan. This binding of Satan, is not the current state of affairs, and nor has it happened in the past.
The 1000 year reign is mentioned several times in the Book of Revelation. It is not a metaphor, nor is it an obscure hidden message. It is going to be a time of rest and restoration, of peace, and joy as all things settle into harmony. Even the beasts of the earth are no longer fierce toward people, or other animals. We will be able to coexist without living in fear of people or animals. It is something to look forward to with hope and gratitude.
In fact, the Book of Revelation is about the revelation and return of Jesus Christ. He is revealed to us in His word, and in His spirit. The events leading up to His return are unfolding. Things are heating up. He will bring peace to this earth, and when He does, it will be a shakeup like none other.
There are so many falsehoods, we need to pray for faith, discernment, and truth, now more than ever before. Deception is becoming increasingly sophisticated. Thought reform is injected into all of the media platforms.
More than anything, it is a percentage of the professing Christians who are leading people astray with faulty interpretations of the bible. Every time I read these interpretations, I go back to what the bible actually says. I hope and pray I am not misinterpreting what I read, and urge all people to read it for themselves. We cannot rely on someone else to interpret God’s word. We most certainly can learn from others, but we have to test all things.
This not only pertains to God’s word, but also to the media, and other platforms bent on filling our minds with deception and trivia. They want to tell us what to think, and shame us for wrong think. If you support a certain political party, the opposing party will take one espoused belief by someone in the other party, and accuse all of the electorate of being conspiracy theorists, or anti-science, or whatever.
We do not all think the same way. Our values and priorities differ. Individualism is not a bad thing. It is the way we are. If someone in Northern BC believes 5G towers cause cancer, so be it. We all have God-given free will, as well as the Charter Right to our own thought, belief and opinions, as long as it does not project prejudice, or harm to others. If people have a lifestyle or belief we do not agree with, we still do not have the right to interfere with their choices, or judge them.
There are Christians who go to abortion clinics, to try and prevent abortions. They often get arrested. Or they attend gay pride events, to try and rebuke those choices. I know some will disagree, but I personally do not believe we have the right to interfere with what other people are doing, if the laws permit it.
We have to acknowledge that non-believers are under the law, and so are we. The only way we are not under the law, is because we have ethics, and beliefs based on love, mercy, forgiveness, kindness, gentleness, and faith. For these things are not under the law.
For one thing, abortion clinics, bar rooms, pride celebrations, etc. are places where people have a lawful right to attend, or use their services. As Christians, if we see those as being places to avoid, then avoid them. Do not try to force others to avoid them, because it is not the time or the place, to try and reform what others believe in, or choose to do. We do not control the free will of other people. It is enough to gain self-control, and recognize our own sins.
It is not lawful on the part of Christians to try and stop someone from doing what this secular world by law, permits them to do. Just because I do not believe we should interfere with the rights of others, does not mean I agree with all things they do. Nor do I agree with all the things I once did.
If non-believers showed up outside a church, and tried to stop people from entering, the police would be called. If they tried to hand out Mormon or JW tracts outside a Baptist church, they would be told to leave. If they tried to take over the podium, and preach their own beliefs or lifestyle, they would also be asked to leave.
Christians, like all people, should realize they could be misguided, especially when it comes to self-righteous judgement of other people. We all need to respect boundaries, and realize that God Himself, does not force people to believe, to love Him, to change their ways, or to stop sinning. If the decision to repent is not done freely, it is not true repentance, because repentance involves a change of heart.
Christians who try to control, intervene, or impose their beliefs onto others are completely off- base. There are many criminals who identify as Christians. I was forced into a car, forcibly confined, and forced into a relationship with a teacher, based on lies, dominance, and threats.
He believed God had told him to adopt me. I was not up for adoption. There was no adoption of course. He also believed he was in the role of a god over my life. I now know, and knew at the time, he was completely off the rails. But he was so arrogant, self-righteous, and willing to abuse power, I was overwhelmed and ganged up on.
Therefore, I learned the hard way, how people can call themselves Christians, yet have no respect for the laws, or the rights of other people. Satan is the father of lies, and I know full well the teacher was a pathological liar. During his incessant brainwashing, he repeated one lie after another, and tried to gaslight all of my memories, and attempts to reason with him. To this day, I face repercussions for rejecting his lies, and lifelong exploitation.
Anyone who uses unlawful force over another person, who is not under their jurisdiction, like what the teacher did to me, and then justifies it by saying “intervention was required” is a liar and a crook. If intervention really was required, there are lawful ways to go about it. It does not apply to a student, who is the target of an obsessive and corrupt teacher, who has a god delusion.
Such self-righteous behaviour is repugnant to the average person, and rightly so. Christians who are controlling, lying, disrespecting boundaries, refuse to acknowledge free will, and the rights of others, can easily become so delusional, they do criminal acts. Criminal acts under the guise of Christianity, have been committed since the beginning of time.
Abortion doctors have been shot, people have been killed through aggressive exorcisms. Others have been abducted and held captive. The outcome of misinterpreting the bible, or in thinking God is speaking to them, and giving them commands has led to the rise of cults, insanity, and horrific crimes.
It is not up to us to force our will, or beliefs onto other people. We can share our beliefs, and if we are rejected, we simply carry on.
Repentance, forgiveness, and sanctification comes by the grace of God, and what Christ did for us on the cross. We do not in any way prevail over the free will He has given to other people, and in turn, they do not have the right to take over our free will.
By all means, we should help people, be kind, charitable, encouraging etc. But that is to be done without making demands on them, or judging, or manipulating them in any way. Take note of what it says in Revelation 22:11
11 He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still.
Beware of those who say, “God told me such and such” especially if it is about your life. I remember saying to the teacher, “Since it is my life, why wouldn’t God tell me too?” I also asked him if God spoke to him out of the sky, or the walls – or what?
People can gain a lot of power over vulnerable or gullible people, if they pretend God is giving them the authority to do so. We need to keep in mind, God does not operate that way. His communication with us is through His word, and through prayer. The bible is the authority when it comes to God’s instructions over our lives. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, because they are lying if they do claim to be speaking for God.
It is not a Christian perspective to use force, or to control another adult. If we do not like what someone is doing, we remove ourselves. If it is a matter of protecting another person, we contact the authorities. Otherwise, we accept people, pray for them, and encourage them in whatever way we can.
We have to respect the choices other people make. Many churches have been infiltrated with prosperity gospel, circus like entertainment, and what not. But these things happen subtly, and with permission. If people in the congregation view it as a deviation from the true gospel, they leave the church, and find another one. Or they stand up as a member of the church and try to talk sense into people. These differences often lead to significant conflicts, and splits.
There are churches steeped in outward appearances, and the love of money. There is pride, vanity, deception, gossip, and exploitation in some churches. We all have to examine our own lives first, and foremost. We never have the right to violate boundaries, in order to control another adult.
The attempt to control a spouse, has led to countless divorces. Even though we should love one another, people cannot be controlled, and love cannot be forced, or it is not love.
Even if a tyrant does manage to control his family, they will grow to hate him. You cannot know, or dictate what is in another person’s heart or mind. Only Christ knows what is in our hearts. If there is truly love among people, they will trust each other, and care for each other because of love, not because of control.
The bible tells us not to believe in psychics, sorcerers, those who try and communicate with the dead, and those who preach a different gospel. Beware of those who claim to have messages directly from God. Read the bible yourself, because the apostles are the ones who were given instructions by God to write down what they saw.
Beware of those who write many books, and spend more time on sales pitches to sell, and get people to read those books, as opposed to reading the bible. They are more concerned about exalting themselves and getting rich, than they are about promoting the bible.
Some famous modern day preachers, prepare their sermons, and then transfer those sermons into books. If they insert too much of their own perspective, or lean toward false doctrine, or follow certain isms, like Calvinism, dispensationalism, Catholicism, etc. they could be leading people astray.
The bible, and the ages – are not broken up into seven dispensations. That is based on the teachings of John Darby and Scofield, not God. The bible does not teach or describe a pre-tribulation rapture. Once again, the concept is a part of the Darby dispensational false teaching. False doctrines are described as doctrines of devils.
Another controversy among Christian beliefs is with regards to what happens to the unrepentant non-believers? Some preachers adamantly claim they will face eternal punishment, and torment in the lake of fire. People who preach this, and believe it, speak about it with absolute certainty. But are they wrong? And why would God torment people forever?
Once again, they take certain scriptures and fit them into a mindset. The bible does say the devil, and the false prophet will be punished forever. But all of the verses describing what happens to people, points to death. There are at least a hundred verses to support this, so it is difficult to understand how or why anyone would adhere to the eternal torment concept. There could certainly be temporary torment, but not eternal torment. They will die and cease to exist.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sinne is death: but the gift of God is eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Psalm 37:10 For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be.
We were given many warnings not to be deceived. When people misrepresent scripture, it is very easy to be led astray, if we do not know what the scripture actually says.
The Book of Revelation is probably used to fear monger, and deceive people, more than any other book of the bible. For the believer, it is filled with hope, and awe, and of things to come – not scare tactics.
Keep in mind – the word antichrist is not in the Book of Revelation either. All the things we hear about a single formidable antichrist, is based on potentially faulty interpretations. The following is what the bible does say about the antichrist(s). Notice the warning about the antichrist as described in the bible, is not depicting a single individual, who rises to dominate the world in the end times.
If the antichrist actually was a single powerful and influential person, then why would the word be mentioned only in John, and not in Revelation? And why would its usage be plural, and not singular? The truth is – the antichrist is a spirit of unbelief and rejection of Christ. There are many people, of all demographics and eras, who fall into this category.
2 John 1:7 For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist.
The Book of Revelation does speak about Satan, the false prophet, and those who take the mark of the beast. But it does not mention the word antichrist. The book of John mentions antichrist, and states there are many. So to somehow come up with this monumental figurehead superimposed somehow over Satan himself seems rather misleading, and doubtful. It may be the stuff of Hollywood, similar to the rapture, but it is not actually described in the bible, unless you choose to believe it based on what man is teaching, not on what God is teaching.
It is plausible, and even likely that a character with a great deal of power, and charisma will surface, and deceive even more people, in the final years and months before Christ returns. However, I think we should keep in mind what the bible says, and realize there are many.
If someone who has an alternative lifestyle, or recognizes the error of his or her ways, is seeking another way of living, or has a desire to know God, then by all means, we can share the gospel, and support their desire to change direction, or seek forgiveness, as we ourselves have done.
As far as what the future holds for ourselves and our children, I most certainly do not believe in what the astrologers and psychics have said throughout history.
I do believe in the bible, and see it as the only way we can possibly understand what is in our future, and what it all means. The great battle between what is good, and what is evil is unfolding, whether we see it or not.
Even though there is controversy, and apostasy in some of the churches, those who are in Christ, are one body of believers, and are like-minded in this regard, for Christ shows us the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). No one can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39).
The battle between good and evil is outstretched from the very first chapters in Genesis, when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil – to the final chapters in Revelation. It is where all of the knowledge of good and evil comes to fruition, into a dynamic polarization, battle of Armageddon (Revelation 16:16), and the defeat of all things evil.
This battle includes all things earthly, all things heavenly, all thing fleshly, and all things spiritual. We cannot see or understand all of it, because we are not God. Therefore we are told to repent, put our trust in God, and live by faith.
For the believers, it is important to study the bible. According to biblical timelines, the earth is now around 6000 years old. Although we do not know the time of Christ’s return, we do know what the bible tells us about it. We also know according to Genesis the world was created in six days, and on the seventh day God rested. We see the significance of number seven in many places throughout the bible, so it makes sense the millennial reign could be in the seventh millennium. Matthew 24: 11-14 does give us some insight as to the state of the world before He returns:
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
There is little dispute about the number of cruelties human beings have managed to inflict upon each other. The obvious acts of cruelty are violence, incitement of violence, and untamed words of anger and hatred.
However lies, deception, gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal – often under the pretence of love and kindness, are some of the worst things we have to endure. The classic betrayal happens in marriages, when one partner sneaks around and has an affair. Often, even though the other partner might suspect it, or even if they confront the offending partner, they continue to lie.
But there are countless other forms of betrayal, in families, in businesses, in advertising, and in government propaganda. When people are betrayed, they are often angry, and feel victimized. Sometimes anger leads to revenge. Sometimes lies and betrayal leads to crimes of violence.
Religion, politics, and the media, all carry their own special brand of lying, and sophisticated avenues of deception. This can lead to mass indoctrination, which has happened many times throughout history, and continues to happen to this day. In fact the deceptions have grown exponentially, due to the increase in broadcasting platforms, and the rapid dissemination of information.
The rise in independent publications has helped to balance, or warn people of intentional deceptions, but sometimes it only adds to the confusion. People get accused of being conspiracy theorists, and of spreading misinformation.
The task therefore is to discern what the truth is, and how we might protect ourselves from betrayal. Probably one of the most obvious forms of betrayal is found in romance scams. When it comes to emotional hoodwinking, some people are extremely gullible.
Healthy marriages help to protect people from predators. Unhealthy marriages can expose people to one of the most deadly situations of all, which is the love triangle. Love triangles have led to countless murders.
When marriages break down – the children are harmed, often beyond repair, because the illusion of trust and security is shattered. Things are not what they expected them to be. In all likelihood, the split partners are then subjected to the risks associated with online dating, and trying to find a partner, when there are children in the picture.
If the split happened because of an affair, the task to integrate the children into the new relationship, is full of court battles, custody arrangements, child support, and the need to forgive, in order to be able to effectively juggle it all. Some people do manage it, but life does become more complicated.
I listened to a woman tell her story of being a victim of a romance scam. Although it was not her fault, she did have a responsibility to protect herself, to guard her heart, and her bank account.
Many people find partners through online dating, without being scammed. She happened to come across a slick con man, but in her case, there were many red flags. For some reason, she chose to ignore those warning signs.
For starters, she was taken in by elaborate stories of riches, family catastrophes, and secrecy. Anyone who is involved in online dating should familiarize themselves with the patterns surrounding romance scams. They follow a certain template, even though some are a little more discreet than others are. Real life is often mundane and ordinary. Fiction is full of James Bond like episodes.
The basic template is one of riches, flattery and grandiose promises. The relationship is often advanced very quickly, with love bombing, and an attempt to pull the person away from other relationships, and friendships, because the perpetrator wants the undivided attention of his or her target.
Once they have the person on the hook, they start reeling them in. They add more elaborate layers to their plot. In the case of the woman describing her situation, her lover was not available in the evenings. She could not call him at home. Eventually she found out he was married.
In the organized crime template, once the person is on the hook, and being reeled in, all of a sudden the perp has an unforeseen drama. It might be an accident, an issue with a business partner, bank account, or tragedy in the family. This is used to garner sympathy, and the pooling, or pulling together of their combined resources.
The victim has already been love bombed with flattery and promises, so she accepts and trusts this sudden change of circumstances. The perp needs her help, and of course she is willing to help, because they are planning on building a life together.
So the cycle begins. First it is a few hundred, or a few thousand dollars. Then there is another explanation in order to get more money. Once the person is sucked into such a scheme, they find it increasingly difficult to get out of. To extricate themselves, they have to see the writing on the wall, admit they have been scammed, and terminate the relationship.
They have to deal with the recognition of both the emotional abuse, and the financial abuse, and cut their losses. The sooner they do this, the better off they are. Some of them allow it to go on, to the point they bankrupt themselves.
Many people who get duped, feel very ashamed once they realize how foolish they were. The shame compounds the damages, because the victim has difficulty explaining how or why they could have been so dumb. He or she may have lost an inheritance for their children, or grandchildren, so they feel remorse in the aftermath of it all.
I think for anyone who is using social media or online dating, it would help to develop some criteria, or a checklist, to set emotions aside and evaluate what is going on. The checklist might include doing a reverse image look-up on the photo to see if they have set up a fake profile using someone else’s photo.
Other things might be to go on a romance scam site to see what the standard patterns are. And probably most of all, arrange a public place such as a coffee shop to meet. You can tell far more about a person when they are sitting in front of you, than you can online. There is no point in developing a relationship online, because it could be purely fictional.
In some way or another, we have all been deceived. If we are targeted by someone who sets out to deceive us, especially during a time when we are weak and vulnerable, we can get caught in their snare.
There are times when the person who is betrayed does not garner much sympathy, because they were foolish in believing all the lies. On the flip side of the coin, trust is the basic foundation for love. We have to put our trust in others, in order to love each other. It is a risk we all take.
I listened to the convoluted story of a homeless person in Seattle the other night. Although I really do not know if he was telling the truth or not, by the time he was finished, I came to the conclusion it was a con. Why? Because he never took responsibility, and each of his crimes was shrouded in a plausible explanation to make him look better.
At the age of eighteen, he ended up in prison for murder. He claimed he killed a guy who had molested his seven year old sister. Yet as the story went on, his sister was never brought up again. It is common knowledge that child sexual predators are the lowest of the low in the prison pecking order, so I began to wonder if he used it as an excuse to justify why he killed someone.
He also claimed his father was a Hell’s Angel, but he was not. However, as he described more of his background, and how the Hell’s Angels had covered his legal costs, and bail, it became evident he was part of the gang. Later on he described being kidnapped and beaten by gangsters, yet he never did admit being part of the gangster system.
His story was one colossal drama after another. He was portraying himself as both a hero, and a victim. Throughout the interview he was chain smoking. Toward the end, he claimed he had been diagnosed with not one, but two types of cancers.
The finale of his story was the depth of his victimization. When he got out of prison in his late thirties, he was given housing, and a job. But he did not give up his impulsive criminal behaviour, all with one excuse after another.
Even though he is deserving of sympathy, food, and shelter, I could not help but think he was telling a rather fictional story, in order to garner sympathy and get money. Even a person who is on the street needs food. He also had a dog to feed and care for, chain smoked, and admitted to taking drugs every day. His lifestyle would have cost him at least between two and three thousand a month.
He was clearly very intelligent, but somehow early in life, he lost his way, as a part of intergenerational patterns, and self deception. His story illustrated how instead of becoming the hero of his own story line, he was actually the victim of his own deception. As time went on, he sank deeper into the dysfunction and deception he had orchestrated. The only hope for this man, and for all of us – is to repent before we die. There is no merit in continuing to deny our own nature, and wrongdoing.
As I listened to this man, and all of his problems, it seemed like he was better off in prison. He never worked in his life, and when he was not in prison, he continued a life of crime. Then he ended up on the streets. It goes to show, there are some seasoned, and experienced criminals in the homeless camps.
Scams are becoming part of our daily lives, and are intruding into our phones, emails, and bank accounts. There are phishing scams claiming to be from Amazon, UPS, Fed Ex, Pay Pal, Canada Post, Banks, and CRA. Some of them are very sophisticated and use the logo, and even have YouTube videos to set people up for the scam.
The CRA scams target seniors, claiming you have a deposit, with a link to open. Amazon scams will tell you your credit card has suspicious activity. Delivery companies will tell you they were unable to deliver a package, so open a link for further details.
In every case, do not engage or open any links. When I get phishing scams from PayPal or UPS, they have a phishing email to forward it to. If you suspect something is a scam, Google the organization to see if there are reports of scams. In many cases you will see notifications telling you they will never send you a text message, etc. If you get a phishing email, look at the address it came from. Usually that will tell you it is from a hotmail account, or will have a long string of characters.
If you are concerned because you receive a message about your bank or credit cards, look them up separately or call the number on the back of the card to see if there really has been any suspicious activity. If UPS says you have a package they cannot deliver, login to the site and use the tracking number you were given. Usually it is fake and does not show up. One time the tracking number I entered showed a package being shipped from state to state. It weighed several hundred pounds, so I knew it had nothing to do with me.
Similar to the romance scams, the fraudsters send you a fake identity, and try to bait you into taking the hook. They try to instil a sense of urgency, because taking the hook, means you react. They are trying to get access to your accounts.
Another vulnerability is in passwords. Personally, I don’t think it is a good idea to save passwords on your devices. I know many people do, but in my opinion, hackers can get into any device.
A recent scam, is to contact people on social media, and get them involved in a fake investment plot, using gift cards. The victim willingly buys the gift cards, which are available in grocery stores, and department stores. They are then asked to send the code for the gift card to the scammer. The scammer gets the value of whatever is on the card, without leaving any banking, or credit card to trace. One elderly woman lost thousands of dollars, believing she was investing in a business from an old high school acquaintance who had contacted her via FaceBook.
Another elderly couple lost over $600,000 to an Amazon scam. They were duped into giving banking information with claims a parcel had been re-routed from Hong Kong and they had to pay the shipping, which would be refunded once it was sorted out. It was a con in order to get access to the funds in their bank account.
In my opinion if Amazon makes a mistake, which is usually a third party seller, it is up to them to remedy the mistake. You can go to the Amazon website, under Customer Service and follow up on a delayed refund etc. The rule of thumb is to not engage with whoever contacts you, then go directly to the organization to double check.
You do not send or receive a delivery without a legitimate tracking number. If you receive an order from an organization that you did not order, let them follow up to remedy it without giving them any credit card or bank info. After all, if you did not order it, you cannot get a mailing label to return it, and nor do you have an order number to follow up on because you did not make the purchase.
My response to having received something you did not order, is to wait a few weeks, and then donate it. There is no easy way to follow up on something you did not order. If a company cannot keep track of what they are doing, or find a way to remedy it – it is not my problem. I do not want to get involved in any third party seller scams.
PayPal is very good when it comes to helping prevent scams. They have an outline to help you identify phishing scams, as well as an email address to report them to. When I was charged on my PayPal account for a service I did not receive, it was resolved quickly.
One of the most well known betrayals of all time, is the betrayal of Christ by Judas Iscariot. Typical of human nature, Jesus was betrayed for money. Judas was the treasurer among the apostles, and was entrusted with the money. The biblical record involving the betrayal of Jesus, has many lessons, and deeper meanings.
The big difference of course, is that Christ was without sin, and was not fooled by the impending betrayal. He knew Judas was harbouring dark thoughts, even though he was pretending to be a follower of Christ. The final kiss Judas imparted onto Jesus, was symbolic of betrayal, hidden under the guise of love. In actual fact, the kiss was part of a scheme to identify Jesus to those who intended to crucify him.
The outcome for Judas was devastating. He realized his error, but it was too late. He tried to remedy the betrayal by giving the money back, and then ended up hanging himself. Part of what this betrayal teaches us, is the consequences of betrayal, and how it can set off a chain of events.
Even though we have all been deceived in some ways, we cannot under estimate the importance of seeking the truth. Christ warned us many times, not to be deceived. For those who do not seek and love the truth, the bible tells us – they are sent strong delusion, so they will believe lies. There are serious ramifications surrounding deception.
Truth is not a matter of opinion. Truth is truth. The opposite of truth is deception and lies. Sugar coated lies, are worse than anything. Attempts to force lies on us by those who abuse power, is appalling, and often there is little we can do about it.
Getting out from under the oppressive blanket of those who abuse power, and lie pathologically, is probably the most difficult challenge we will ever face.
Many pious Christians will condemn everything but lying and arrogance. Yet among the seven things listed in the Book of Proverbs that God hates the most – are lying and a haughty look. The list of things God hates embodies all of the terrible things stemming from self deception, and deceiving others. Pride, arrogance, scheming, and violence are the outcomes.
As crafty and arrogant as many liars are – they will lose. In my own life as a kid in school, I was taken captive by a high school teacher who ruthlessly brainwashed me with lies. He would force me into his car, and take me home with him for the night, indoctrinating me with a litany of falsehoods. As a student, and obsessive target of this teacher, I had nowhere to turn. It was horrible to the point of being torture.
I knew it was profoundly abusive, and to this day, I consider it to be the most abusive relationship by far, of my entire lifetime. It was downright sadistic, and never once did he consider I had every right to say no, or even the right to be who I am. I did not have the right to feel the way I feel, to think the way I think, or even to be a member of my own family.
He was especially dogmatic if I dared to think my mother was my mother. He pretended to be very hurt by such assertions on my part. I was raised by my mother, and looked just like her. Ironically her name was Joy, and I was nicknamed by our Swedish grandmother as a toddler, as Little Joy. I have always had a good memory, so of course I knew who my mother was from the day I was born.
I clearly remember when our younger brother was born, even though I was only fourteen months old at the time. We had a big black car with a red interior. He was put in a wicker basket on the floor in the back seat when he was brought home from the hospital. When we got home and all piled out of the car, our mother said “don’t step on the baby.”
I remember with great curiosity watching her change his diaper. When he peed, she said, “Oh he is a boy all right.” A month or so later she was holding him while sitting on the arm of a large upholstered chair. I was sitting on the couch falling asleep. She said, “you’re tired, it is time for bed.” I vehemently shook my head, no way, I was not tired. I got off the couch and walked across the floor, and fell over. She laughed and said, “see you are so tired!”
Of course I remember countless things about my childhood like anyone else. Why did the teacher and his wife think I would not remember? It is baffling to this day. They were total strangers to me, yet they pretended to have raised me. They did not raise me for one day of my upbringing. They created this pretence, and after awhile people seemed to believe it. I used to think – surely no one believes this. How could they? But carefully crafted lies, when repeated over and over again, soon become ingrained. They believe their own delusions.
The teacher was very authoritarian. Every time I refuted something he said, which was often, he would puff up, and threaten punishment. I was being defiant, and difficult to manage. He would claim I needed intervention, and was emotionally disturbed. He lied brazenly about things that are obvious and easy to prove.
He was also very determined to make sure I did not think I was smart, when I knew full well I had skipped a grade, and was academically gifted. Not to the extreme, but moderately so. He really honed in on shaming the intelligence out of me.
He was in his twenties at the time, and was married. He insisted I had the same IQ as his wife. I found such a claim to be really bizarre. I knew I did not have the same IQ on two given days, so how could I have the same IQ as his wife? It was like I could not even own my brain, or what I thought. He was in control of my mind, and my potential. He took credit for it, not me.
He repeated the IQ lie (along with many other lies for years). His wife did not accelerate through school, did not show any signs of academic giftedness, and did not graduate from nursing until she was in her mid twenties. The teacher forced me into a nursing program, so I could not accept a scholarship into an English lit program. Then he took credit for the fact I was a nurse. Once again, it was his accomplishment, not mine.
Even though I had no desire to be a nurse, I knew I had to get a post secondary education. So I did not quit and drop out even though I was very young. I did not find the courses difficult, but did not like the hospital part at all. On the wards, I felt it was all very strange, and worrisome. Like, what if I did not put one of those circular beds together properly, and dropped a person on their head? I always felt like a fish out of water. Fortunately, I did learn pretty quickly, to adapt and figure things out.
I ended up writing the RN exams when I was nineteen. As I got to know the teacher’s wife, I knew darn well she was not that bright. I used to think to myself – she married him, so how could she be bright? I tried to explain the teacher situation to the University English professor, who was trying to steer me into a scholarship program.
He was livid when he heard me stammering out why I had to stay in nursing, and how this teacher had taken control of my life. He told me it should be reported to the police. At the time, I was far too scared to do anything about it.
Eerily, during my last conversation with the teacher’s wife, she described to me in graphic detail how she had drowned the family cat in the rain barrel. I grew up on a farm, and carried the cats, and the chickens around like babies. I fed pigs and calves with a baby bottle. The notion of drowning a cat in a rain barrel was absolutely abhorrent to me. I do not have cats, and don’t think I have ever had a cat as an adult, but still – I have nothing against cats.
I do not believe in being cruel to animals at all, ever. She told me how she had injected the cat with some Valium she had brought home from where she had worked. She justified it by saying she took home the expired drugs. I wondered how many she had stockpiled before she retired. Expired drugs are supposed to be returned to the pharmacy.
I would not even recount any of this, if it had not been for the supreme arrogance I was subjected to by these people, lording their pharisaical superiority over me. They were “wonderful Christians” and I was chopped liver. They were monitoring, and exploiting me for reasons I could not conceive of for many years.
My home was supposed to be dedicated to them, as their own private vacation property, complete with maid service. My car was there for them to use. They would come and visit uninvited. There were times when I begged them not to visit, but they came anyway.
They had both become so controlling, she would tell me shhhh when I started talking in my own house. She would chastise me for opening the fridge to get a snack. Once again, it was my house and they were the guests.
I was paying the bills, and bought the food. It just illustrates how much gall, disrespect, and entitlement they had. They believed there was no way I could get rid of them. It was a life sentence. I could not go for a walk without them, even though he walked so slow, it was not what I had in mind when I went for a walk. I think it was just more of his passive aggressive behaviour.
By the time I made the decision to get them out of my life once and for all, the next visit they were planning, was for around three months. I could not stand a week with them. In fact, I got through the last visit minute, by painstaking minute.
As each minute ticked by, I told myself – “when they leave, I am not going to spend one more minute with these people.” Getting them out of my life, was a battle like none other. I kept my resolve, but wrangled to keep firm in my decision, for another twelve years, in spite of all the pressure. The bullying to resume the relationship, was like being back in school, or back on the farm.
In fact, it is still going on, because the punishment, and rejection for terminating the relationship, has become part of my life. It has become my lot in life, and cross to bear. I do not regret terminating the relationship. The only thing I do regret is allowing it to happen in the first place. I should have screamed blue murder, and gone to the police as a student, but I was seriously ganged up on.
I could never reconcile all of the extreme contradictions. When you cannot resolve such cognitive dissonance, or insolent hypocrisy, it is crazy making. They were the crazy ones, not me. I do not think it is okay to drown the family cat in a rain barrel. Take it to the SPCA, or a vet for crying out loud.
I do not think it is okay for a twenty eight year old teacher to follow, and chase a teenage girl around. None of it was okay. It has been an epic saga. Like many cult members, they were determined to pretend they were family. They were not my family in any way, shape or form.
The cat she drowned was quite a large cat, and the injection of Valium did not sedate it much, so she battled the cat to the finish. Since she had put on an old ski jacket, and heavy gauntlet gloves, I surmised she prepared herself, fully expecting it to fight for it’s life.
Apparently it did put up a real bonafide cat fight, trying desperately to get away. But she prevailed over the cat. I wonder what it felt like to have done such a thing, and be left standing there with a dead, soaking wet, bundle of flesh and fur? Did she bury it somewhere? Or turf it in the bush? I didn’t ask her the details. In my dumbfounded state, I did ask her “Why?”
She said, “Oh it was becoming quite a nuisance. It scratched the screens, and some of the furniture.” Well then don’t get a cat! The reason I never got a cat, is because I do not want kitty litter in my house, or a cat retching up a hair ball on my bed.
If they did not live in a remote location, and someonewould have witnessed it, she could have been arrested. Were they too cheap to take it to a vet? Or did she enjoy inflicting harm? Those were some of the things running through my mind.
I know the colour drained from my face as she told me about it. Since they had young grandchildren at the time, I asked her if there were any children there. She said no. But surely they must have asked what happened to the cat.
The final visit with them had many deeply disturbing elements, from the cat to the fish they were demanding. I was living on Haida Gwaii at the time, and they were bound and determined to force me to take enough fish to Alberta for their niece’s wedding. I did not even know their niece, but even if I did, who makes that kind of demand on another person?
I kept saying no, I don’t have enough fish for a wedding. Plus getting it there is no easy task. So I just kept saying no. They would not take no for an answer, as usual. The battle over both the fish and the cat, became quite symbolic to me.
There were so many occasions where I thought they were worse than moonshine hillbillies in the back woods. They showed up at all my family functions, acting like they were some kind of sanctimonious celebrities. In the back of my mind, I thought of them as the goon squad. Sorry but…
I did not have the exact same IQ as that cat snuffing woman. Some days I could breeze through an exam and ace it. Other days I felt tired and foggy. I distinctly remember waking up on exam days, and saying a prayer to be clear headed, because often I did not study much. The teacher’s focus on my mind, was a molestation of my mind. One day he is going to face judgement for what he did. I needed the teacher, like I needed a hole in the head.
I was verbal, and quite sassy. I tried everything under the sun to negate the bizarre things he was repeating to me. It was all to no avail, and is the reason my number one regret is not going to the police immediately. He should have had his licence as a teacher revoked, and he should have been arrested for abduction and forcible confinement.
He had no right to force me into a car, and then force me to sit and listen to his lunatic drivel for hours on end. He thought I had zero value as a person. I was no more than a stray dog or cat to torment for his amusement.
He was so arrogant, he seriously believed I would never escape it all. For years, I tried to reason with the teacher, and my own family members. I tried to extricate myself gracefully. I wanted to protect their reputations, in my role as a self-sacrificing sucker, by trying to be nice.
As a result, and to my own detriment, it went on for years. Reasoning with them was futile. So finally, I started to fight back. I reported it to the police, which I should have done the very first time I was chased down, and forced into his car. I was never under his jurisdiction. He took liberties as a teacher that no teacher should ever get away with.
After my onset of anger, during a time when I did say things I regret, it was clear, my heart had broken into open rebellion. Being nice did not cut it. In fact, the expectation of being nice, and a people pleaser, is exactly what they were taking advantage of.
It took many years to unravel it all, and get out from under the brainwashing. He was a fanatical religious fundamentalist, and had infiltrated my family. So for years, he was invited to every family function and treated as the daddy-god.
In hindsight, and after the benefit of some time and healing, I have mellowed. But I would never in a million years allow him to get near me again. He stared constantly, without blinking. It was profoundly creepy. In my opinion, he was bound and determined to destroy me. He constantly attacked my identity, my family history, my mind, emotions, and spirit. It was a soul destroying trap.
The one and only advantage to be extrapolated from such a foul and deceptive relationship, is I began seeking the truth, and started reading the Bible for myself. Much of what he heaped upon me, was religious indoctrination and shame. I realized he had lied about absolutely everything.
Although it was victimization, with countless re-victimizations, I do take responsibility for the fact I should not have allowed it to go on. I was actually being mocked as a fool. In some ways I deserved it, because allowing ourselves to be deceived, is a huge mistake. I am still facing the fall-out of having permitted such a colossal deception over my life to continue.
I can forgive my family members, because the family was fractured, and I believe this teacher took advantage of all of us in a diabolical way. I know we are to forgive those who trespass against us, so I do hope and pray I can figure out how to forgive the teacher as well.
The one important lesson I learned, and I suppose indirectly I can thank him for the lesson, is how cults operate, how liars operate, and how destructive it is. He was a false teacher and a false prophet. For his sake, the smartest thing he could do is admit to all the lies, and repent. During the time I knew him, he certainly did not show any sign of repentance. So who knows? I have never been so glad to be rid of someone, and thank God every single day to be free of his soul scorching deception.
The teacher carried out all of the things God hates, with the exception of shedding innocent blood. But he and his wife were both cruel to animals, and killed many of their pets, to include shooting a dog for getting excited and jumping up on someone, along with drowning a cat in a rain barrel. They killed many pets over the years.
When I was a student in school, he stalked and followed me outside of school, and chased me down, in order to force me into his car. So if you look at all the things God hates – he pretty much carried out all of them, over, and over, and over again. He was one determined individual, and it was only by the grace of God, I was finally able to disentangle myself from the cultish teacher.
There are many cult religions, and even within mainstream religions, there are cultish people who abuse people, through deceptive manipulation of bible verses, and spiritual abuse. This particular teacher was part of the Exclusive Brethren cult. He treated me as a non person who he could lie to, lie about, and manipulate at will.
From Proverbs Chapter 6, it is pretty clear to me now – the teacher in spite of his all encompassing hubris, he managed to do all of the things God hates. The admonishments to view him as a wonderful Christian was just more bullying manipulation and control.
He was a push in predator. Once they get a foot in the door, they push in, and take control of your life. If you ever come across a person like this, my advice is to slam the door in their face, dead bolt it, and be ready to call the cops.
I guess the conclusion is – no I do not view him as a wonderful Christian, and never did. In my heart, I always knew he was cruel and sadistic. I only wish I would have rejected every one of his lies, long before I did.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I was listening to a podcast on this topic, and although it may sound macabre to some, it was actually quite interesting.
The people being interviewed consisted of those with first hand testimonials, describing end of life scenarios with loved ones.
There was a group of people with family secrets, and back stories – revealed in the discussions about their family member’s deathbed experience.
Painful issues and outlines came out; from bigamy, to incest, childhood abuse, affairs, illegitimate children, and various conflicts leading up to long term estrangement.
All of these individuals gave a fairly detailed family history, and were able to express the emotional upheaval it caused for them.
For the most part, they were pointing out the range of family secrets, betrayals, misunderstandings, and the hope for resolution, and forgiveness, in the final days of life.
It represented a releasing of a multitude of memories, and mistakes. This often spanned decades, and more than one generation.
In many of these cases, it was the impending death itself that brought about the only chance for reconciliation and forgiveness.
In some cases, the person on their deathbed grappled more with the issues, than the family did. In other cases, it was the family, or one member of the family, who struggled the most. They tried, and often succeeded in overcoming past differences.
One woman had an intense desire to know who her biological father was. As a teenager, she found out her father was not her biological father. She learned she had been adopted by him as a young child. She had done her own investigation, searching for the truth of her past.
Her mother had lived in the country, and had given birth when she was just sixteen years old. She later married, therefore her illegitimate child was adopted by the man her mother married. Many people are probably aware of similar situations in their own families.
But for some reason, the adoption became a bone of contention between mother and daughter. The daughter could not get her mother to talk about it. She was stonewalled, and gaslighted every time she tried. Her mother told her she was crazy – making things up.
During the podcast interviews, long after her mother had died, the woman still strongly believed she had a right to know who her birth father was. She had trouble forgiving her mother for her refusal to tell her.
In spite of the fact her daughter had gone through freedom of information channels, to find her birth record, as well as the adoption record, her mother consistently denied the adoption.
Over the years, up to, and including her death, her mother never wavered in her resolve, adamantly maintaining her adoptive father, was in fact, her biological father.
Even on her deathbed, after years of badgering by her daughter, she never did admit it, or tell her who her biological father was. She took it to her grave.
Some people would just let it go. But such is human nature, for some to become obsessed with finding out the truth of their own birth, identity, and history.
In another situation, a daughter, as a teenager, who thought all was well in their family, found out her father was having an affair, and had a child with the other woman. He had also married the other woman, so he was a bigamist on top of it all.
It shattered his daughter’s illusion of their family life. His wife divorced him, and he moved to another country with his new wife and family.
The oldest daughter from his first marriage felt angry, and betrayed for many years, and was estranged from her father.
Finally she broke down, and went to visit him. Together, just the two of them went out for lunch, and sat down for a heart to heart, long-awaited chat. She envisioned this as being some quality, one on one time with her dad, to let bygones be bygones, and patch things up.
To her utter dismay, she learned her father had done the same thing all over again. He was about to leave his current wife, because he had married another woman. The third wife was expecting their second child.
So in his fifties, he had three or four young children, and two different women to support. The daughter was gobsmacked. She finally realized he had some fatal flaws.
She went home shocked, and appalled. She could not even finish her lunch on the day she met with him. She choked on her dumpling, and then got up and walked out.
Once again, they were estranged for a couple more years. At the time, she thought she was done with him.
However, it was not much later, her father became ill, was diagnosed with cancer, and realized he was dying. He had young children to consider, and his life was a mess. Once again, he was a bigamist.
As it turned out, his oldest daughter helped him, cared for him, and made arrangements for his young children to be cared for.
Clearly, all of it was a painful experience for her, but somehow she managed to put the well being of others ahead of her own feelings about all of it.
Perhaps more than anything, it highlights the need for validation of another person’s feelings within families, and the fatal flaws we carry with us to our graves.
In the first case, if her mother at some point would have admitted the adoption, the relationship would not have become so strained.
But who really knows why she would have withheld the information. It could have been the biological father was a preacher, a teacher, a neighbour, a married man, or even a family member.
Or it could have been the whole experience was so shameful, and at a time when unwed mothers were segregated, and hidden away, while simultaneously gossiped about, and judged as the proverbial bad girl, or girl in trouble – by everyone who suspected it.
Her mother may have used strong denial, to protect herself from more shame. It might have been too difficult for her mother to revist the whole ordeal.
At some point the daughter might be able to trace it through familial DNA websites, if she submits her own DNA, and then starts seeking matches.
There is little doubt. The family we are born into holds many untold stories, secrets, and skeletons in closets, rattling to get out. They are itching to escape with the truth, and dance on a few graves in the process.
In the second case, it truly is a poignant story about a daughter’s love, forgiveness, and restoration. In the end, her father and his young children, relied on her a great deal, even though he had abandoned her when she was young.
In addition to the grieving family members telling their stories, they also had a group of professionals contributing to the conversation.
There was a couple of palliative care nurses, an end of life doula, a couple of psychologists, and oddly enough – a funeral crasher.
It was actually kind of funny, because the professionals were aghast at the notion of an interloper, who would arrive on the scene of a sacred funeral, interrupt the service, and tell all.
They did not think it could possibly be well intentioned. They tried to coat their disdain in some professional lingo, but he didn’t care. He was speaking for the dead guy – not them.
The entrepreneur who does the funeral crashing, sees it as a growing trend. He said he began the career with one funeral, as a joke, doing it for a friend. From there, it morphed into a full time business, with multiple referrals.
Since the dead don’t give referrals, it must be the theme or concept of funeral crashing, rapidly gaining in popularity.
He unabashedly said he makes a good living at it. He explained he is hired to do a job, the same as anyone else. He sits down with a client, and together they draft up the funeral crashing contract.
Therefore, he has an obligation to do what his client wants him to do. He charges between $2000, and $10,000 to crash a funeral.
He clarified his role as being the final voice, the emissary, or agent – called upon to carry out the deathbed wishes of the person in the coffin.
In spite of the pejorative and judgemental remarks toward his occupation, he blew them off. He was speaking for the dead. They hired him to do the job. He respects their wishes, and honours the agreement.
He rationalized it by saying they are not taking their money with them, and they can spend it however they want to.
In his role, he would boldly interrupt a funeral, and read out the message from the dead person. In once case, he called out the best friend of the deceased for hitting on, and sleeping with his wife, while he was sick.
In another case, a man with a large family, and a reputation for being a brilliant, and successful businessman – wanted the truth to be known.
He had been a fraud. It was a conscience clearing confessional of sorts. He wanted it to finally be known to everyone at his funeral, that he did not make his money in business at all.
In fact, he had won a lottery when he was in his early twenties, and managed to keep it under wraps, as he went on to get married, and start a family.
He did invest wisely over several decades, and did not blow it all, like so many lottery winners do. So to his credit, he did have some business acumen. He made a joke of it, and left all of them with a sizeable inheritance. A truly – dearly departed type story.
Others were not so lucky, and had some vitriol for ex wives, and ex business partners, as well as people who were false friends.
In spite of the negativities toward the funeral crasher, for making a living off these deathbed wishes, he had no feelings of shame at all, for doing so.
He told the psychologists they were essentially doing the same thing. They too were profiting off the hardships, emotions, and difficulties – where there is a coming to terms, with betrayals that are part of life.
He basically said they were taking money with similar motives. Only they wrap everything in euphemisms, and keep it all hidden from view, whispering in the shadows.
I suppose in a practical sense, there must be some legalities surrounding the role of being a funeral crasher. If the dead person is paying for his or her own funeral, one would think they can have some control over how it is carried out.
It just goes to show you, some people can reach out, and orchestrate a few things, even after they are gone.
The funeral crasher is not limited to speaking at funerals only. Sometimes he reads the messages at end of life celebrations, or during the reading of wills.
The nice nurses, along with the prim and proper psychologists, thought it was just awful, vengeful, and demonstrating a symptom of narcissism.
His final quip was “Hey. Don’t shoot the messenger.” Fair enough. He still has work to do.
When his time comes – someone might try to bury him with his foot in his mouth!
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The rampant addiction and overdose deaths continue to rise, and create crisis after crisis for families, communities, health care, and education.
The issue of addiction has creeped into every nook and cranny of our lives. If we ourselves have not battled it, someone in our family has.
The old adage “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” applies to the topic of addiction, probably more than most health related issues.
When asking the question about how to prevent addiction, and where does it start? For most of us, the obvious answer is that it begins in the home, and must be recognized how much early developmental learning, comes through observation, emotions, and intergenerational patterns.
First of all, we need to be cognizant of how our own parents managed addiction. In many cases, addicted children have addicted parents. Even if the parent does overcome the addiction at some point, the children are still prone to addiction, and such vulnerabilities cannot be overlooked.
We also have to be aware that parental addiction is not only about drugs and alcohol. It can also be manifested in workaholism, gambling, food, and various other forms of escapism, or habits.
The first step is in identifying increased vulnerability in ourselves, in our families, and especially for the sake of the children.
Children at most risk are those who are traumatized. Children who end up in foster care end up having more trauma than combat veterans. Children who are exposed to domestic violence, sexual assault, neglect, and shame, become hard wired to seek forms of escapism.
Our familial patterns can take many years to recognize and overcome. The effects of PTSD and profound shame associated with family of origin, cannot be shaken off in a few weeks or months.
Most of all, the emotional scars cannot be remedied with drugs or alcohol, as is so often the case. When someone tells another person to get help, what exactly does that mean?
Where do they get help? Paradoxically, every program is likely to focus on giving more drugs to combat the drug addiction. Why?
We can never under estimate the power of the pharmaceutical companies, and the role they play in contributing to widespread addiction. They want steady customers. Repeat customers are the proverbial cash cow.
Therefore many addiction programs will focus on harm reduction, which just means they substitute one drug for another. But as most of us familiar with how addiction works, we know that abstinence is the only cure. Prescription drugs can be just as deadly as street drugs.
Once a person enters a rehab facility or a treatment centre, or the mental health system, they are likely to be diagnosed with a mental health disorder, and prescribed psychotropic drugs. Often they are prescribed antipsychotics, which target the dopamine receptor sites, just as many other drugs do – especially opiates.
In addition, there is no real way to track how poly pharmaceuticals in conjunction with street drugs, can potentiate each other.
Not long ago I watched a YouTube show about a young woman who was around twenty years old, and ended up in rehab. She was bright, energetic, and had an outgoing gregarious personality. When she was in rehab, she became anxious and restless. They gave her benzodiazepines, which is the anti-anxiety class of drug, most commonly known as Valium, Ativan and the mood stabilizer Clonazepam.
Although benzodiazepines are not similar to opiates in how they work chemically, they are just as dangerous, just as addictive. People who become addicted to benzos require months, and sometimes years of very careful tapering to get off them.
When the young woman was discharged from rehab, she had a prescription for Valium. She was full of hope and had written a diary, to express her new found confidence in being able to kick her drug habit. Unfortunately, she was full of hope, but hopelessly naive.
She went home, and immediately got a job in a bar. She hooked up with old friends and was exposed to the usual party scene. She was still taking Valium during the day, and started drinking at night. Within a matter of weeks, she relapsed and started taking street drugs again. And shortly after that, she died of an overdose, leaving a grief stricken family behind.
How many times do we read about an addict relapsing a hundred times? Or going through a treatment program twelve to twenty times? In the US drug culture, they refer to this as body brokering. In other words, the system is designed to cycle people through treatment programs, with no intention of seeing them get off drugs.
They even have a referral system to see if the person has insurance, or wealthy parents, and they will get plugged into the treatment centre, get discharged, relapse, and go back for repeat treatments until they die, or the funds are exhausted.
For those of us who claim abstinence is the only way out, we get harm reduction advocates screaming blue murder. They will insist the quest for abstinence is killing people, and they will use histrionics and hyperbole, to fuel the steady, and ever increasing flow of drugs.
They will claim the push for recovery, through abstinence, represents a profound lack of compassion. But wanting to see people get well – is not a lack of compassion.
Addiction is very easy to fall into, and very difficult to climb out of. Therefore is makes sense to prioritize prevention. The cost of addiction is part of the profiteering malevolent cycle.
In order to tackle the problem of addiction, there has to be a complete paradigm shift. It starts in our minds, and in the minds of our children.
We understand there are laws to help protect us from physical, and sexual assault. But we have no laws to protect our minds and emotions from infiltration, and assault, by those wishing to exploit us, and rob our potential.
In fact, the assault on our minds and emotions can be just as deadly as physical assaults, yet the perpetrators never face any charges, because there is no outward bruising, or signs of assault.
The stage can be set for self-medicating psychic and emotional pain, long before the individual or family is aware of it. On behalf of children, we need to protect their minds and their emotions, as well as protect them physically.
We also need to be aware that we have become a pill pushing society. Every ailment has a pill to remedy it. We have come to believe we need those pills as a quick fix for every hindrance we face.
Children watch their parents, and grandparents use medication, and begin to see it as a normal part of life.
When I worked in ER, part of the history, and documentation to be entered on the patient’s chart, was to list the medications the person was taking. Often they did not even know the names of the drugs, or why they were taking them.
It was not uncommon for the patient to bring in a brown paper bag filled with bottles of pills. The ER staff would go through them, and write them down, because the patient could not list them all when questioned. One person could easily have fifteen or twenty prescription drugs in that bag. This was especially so for seniors.
Previously, I did some research, and wrote a blog post about the multiple classes of drugs prescribed to certain groups, and how they stacked up in relation to age, and demographics.
Not surprisingly, it was those in poverty, seniors, and Indigenous people, who were prescribed the most classes of drugs.
It is not to say people don’t require medication for certain ailments. It is just that we have learned to expect there is a pill for everything, from depression to high cholesterol, and every ache and pain that plagues us.
Instead, we should be focusing more on diet, nutrition, exercise, sleep, wellness, and stable routines. We need to find ways to have fun, without drugs and alcohol.
Sports, hobbies, fresh air, camping, music, learning, and positive relationships, with much care and attention to who we allow into our lives, will contribute to overall wellness. Music and sports probably top the list for young people, as healthy outlets.
Although we may have many regrets about our own addictive tendencies, and how we may have affected our children, we can only use what we have learned to try and help others. We cannot turn back the clock.
Therefore, overcoming addiction must carry forward with love, and forgiveness within families. We need to do so, without neglecting to validate the amount of emotional pain it has caused.
By the time a child enters school, many of the intrinsic coping mechanisms have already been established. If the schools genuinely want to help address the problem of addiction, and protect children, they must incorporate education about addiction into the school curriculums at every age level.
In addition to validating the effects of psychological and emotional pain, and the importance of protecting our minds and emotions, the education surrounding addiction is extensive.
How many kids have been put on Ritalin, then go on to use meth? How many of them were diagnosed with ADHD when really they were simply rambunctious, bright, high energy kids? Or maybe their lack of attention was an attempt to seek distractions, which is another form of escapism from emotional pain or trauma.
Instead of addressing the vulnerability, and properly assessing the child, they start them on drugs, in order to manage them, and keep them in line. It is the worst thing they could do to them.
How is any school going to begin to educate about addiction, if they are encouraging parents to put their kids on Ritalin?
To be sincere about wellness, the educational systems need to provide honest information about the effects of drugs on every system of the body. Just as kids learn the periodic table of elements to understand sodium, magnesium, calcium etc. they should also learn how these chemical elements affect the bodily systems.
The book “Molecules of Emotion” written in 1997 by Candace Pert made the connection between dopamine, endorphins, and the physiology between internal chemistry and emotions.
Candace Pert was a neuroscientist and pharmacologist who was credited with the discovery of opioid receptors in the brain, and the cellular binding site for endorphins in the body. She lectured about many related topics, and wrote a significant amount of material.
What I found interesting when I watched some of the interviews and lectures given by Candace Pert, is that she often had a can of Coke sitting beside her, instead of a bottle of water. Even though it is a minor thing, it is interesting to note, she too experienced the pitfalls of a form of addiction.
Candace Pert died at the age of 67 of congestive heart failure, and was clearly sick and overweight for at least the last ten years of her life.
She had the knowledge, but she still struggled with maintaining her own health. What can we learn from it?
The subject of molecules and emotion, and how it relates to knowledge is so complex, it transcends what our minds can grasp.
We are constantly seeking to feel good, to feel better, and to fill a void within us. If we reach for the wrong remedy, it becomes a bad habit. if we continue the habit, it becomes an addiction. If we continue the addiction, it will kill us.
We are the subjects of someone else’s profit motive, whether we realize it or not. So within this convoluted train wreck of addiction, there lies a profit motive, messaged toward us from every direction imaginable.
The advertising and propaganda is beamed into our brains. Greed, and the love of money – are two of the most essential components driving it at the higher levels. These motives are often concealed. We need to learn to be far less gullible.
Rather than allowing our minds and bodies to become a cauldron of chemical soup, we need to find ways to feel good without addictive substances. It is not always easy, that’s for sure.
It means we have to acknowledge the importance of the gut biome, as a very important part of the internal chemistry. We have to evaluate sugar, pop, and fast foods, as part of the attack upon our systems, because they too, set off a train reaction and increase our risk of addiction to harmful substances.
We have to find ways to cope with hardship, losses, and pain, without resorting to self-medicating. Fresh air, exercise, hobbies, adequate sleep, learning, our spiritual lives, our love for family and others – all contribute to our well-being.
Personally, I believe one of the worst things for our mental health, is shame. Although it is often children from homes steeped in poverty, addiction, instability, and trauma who feel the most shame, the burden of shame has no respecter of persons either.
Children from good homes can also feel ashamed and unworthy. Perhaps they are portrayed as the perfect child. Perfectionism is damaging, because no one is perfect.
Or maybe they have a sibling who is the apple of the parents eye, and they are not. All kinds of things can cause shame for a child. In fact, favouring one child over another wreaks havoc under the surface of many familial veneers.
Almost all families have some form of dysfunction. To make matters more difficult, we tend to be master’s when it comes to denial.
Shame increases vulnerability to addiction. It is another form of emotional pain that may seek to self-medicate. Addiction is best addressed in an open, and communicative environment within the family.
None of us can rightfully deny what the other is experiencing, because denial is also part of what fuels addiction. If there is denial, there is re-victimization.
On the flip side of shame, we see narcissism, which also represents a very fragile ego. The healthiest outlook is one of quiet confidence, without a need to be special, or talented, or use achievements in order to measure self worth.
There is no way to summarize the tip of an iceberg. We either hit it and go down, or we find a way to navigate around it.
In my humble opinion, and less than stellar background, all I can say is first and foremost – protect the mind and emotions, as well as the body from assaults, grooming, shaming, exploitation etc. Set boundaries, or the destructive people, and systems – will bowl you over without giving it a second thought.
Secondly – understand that for those who have addictive tendencies, which truthfully, is most of us, we need to abstain. For the addict, there is a constant need to fill the void with more, until there is a certain mood elevation, sleep, and then the cycle begins again.
This is not a stagnant cycle. It is a very active and ever increasing vortex, until that deep sleep brought about by the substance, ends up becoming a permanent sleep.
And finally, probably most important of all, is the fact we are not only made up of mind and body, we also coexist in a spiritual world. Therefore, we have to integrate ourselves with a belief system that transcends our physical world.
There is much criticism in our very secular world, towards those who acknowledge the importance of our spiritual beliefs, but regardless, they are probably at the heart of every recovery, and certainly the hope for a true recovery.
Candace Pert acknowledged the spiritual aspect of life, and unfortunately for her, she delved into New Age, instead of Christianity. Her expansive knowledge of pharmacology, and the chemistry of emotions, and how it led to her own spiritual beliefs, does reinforce that our spirituality is an ultimate quest.
It also tells us we not only must protect our minds, heart, and emotions – but more than anything, we also need to recognize and understand the importance of our spiritual lives, and what we choose to believe.
The void within us cannot be filled with harmful substances, because if we do, it is like feeding a wolf, prowling around with an insatiable hunger, and a determination to destroy us.
We cannot just take away the substance we are using to fill the abyss within us, because the emptiness will continue to haunt us, or we will fill it with something equally addictive.
We have to find our own pathway, and also find ways to fill the vacuity within us, with what is good, what is rewarding, and with what will sustain us for the long term.
Healing is both a journey, and a destination. It is metaphorically full of highwaymen with pistols, and wolves in sheep’s clothing.
There is a barren nihility, and a deep black hole, both on the inside, and on the outside, of this wrecking ball of the soul.
Somehow we need to learn to be wise, to be aware, and to be willing to do what we can, to prevent our children, and our grandchildren, from falling into the pit of addiction.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
For those who take issue with speaking ill of the dead – don’t worry, I realized this author was over rated, long before she was dead. Long before I delved into the details of her rather unsavoury background, and family betrayal.
Bear with me as I switch from past to present tense. I know her writing still exists, therefore it is. But she no longer exists, and for me, her writing is in past tense, therefore it was.
I will never pick it up again, except to do research, and try to expand our literary assessments, as opposed to being told what is good, when it is not good. The issue of addressing child sexual abuse, preventing it, and validating the testimonies of the victims, is far more important than the legacy of a deceased author. I never could understand why Alice Munro was promoted to such an extent.
For years, I would read the gushing reviews, and then try to read something she wrote. I would think to myself, this sounds like a trashy Harlequin romance or worse. What on earth do people see in this? In my opinion the sexism, and stereotyping of girls and women, was superficial, trite, and at times appalling.
I have made a point of reading famous authors to include Hemingway, Steinbeck, Dickens, Virginia Woolf, Emily Dickinson, Jean Paul Sartre, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tolstoy, and Voltaire as some examples. I even delved into Schopenhauer at one point, but struggled with it due to the oppressive pessimism.
But nevertheless, I can understand why many authors are notable, and deserving of accolades. Even so, all art is subjective, so like beauty, the merit is in the eye of the beholder.
Alice Munro never once struck me as being a genius writer. Not even close. Her material was fictional, and narrowly limited in range and scope. It was repetitious ad nauseam, yet so many emanated how she was realistically showing the depth of the human condition. Hardly. If so, they were drawing from a shallow well.
Now that her daughter has come forward, it makes so much more sense to me why I found her work to be stomach turning. Reading between the lines, there was definitely something grotesque beneath the surface of all the slick linguistics.
The Globe & Mail wrote an article about her fight with censorship in the seventies. The article goes on to say that in 1976, the principal of Kenner Collegiate Vocational Institute in Peterborough, Ontario brought forth concerns about Alice Munro’s “The Lives Of Girls And Women” being taught in schools.
He had overheard a student claim it was pornographic. The central issue is that the story explicitly describes a man masturbating in front of a young girl.
In hindsight as we review the rearing of the ugly head of child molestation, and pornography in schools, we now know that Alice Munro’s husband molested her nine year old daughter, during the same time frame Alice Munro so vehemently defended her tacky material.
Her daughter was molested in the 1970s, in the same proximity of time the story “The Lives Of Girls And Women” was written. She wrote the short story in 1971, and went to great lengths to defend it in 1976 and 1977, which is when her daughter was molested.
The molestation did not stop after a single incident, because her daughter was exposed to the pedophile for years without protection. He molested her mind, in addition to molesting her body.
As far as Alice Munro defending her so-called literary stance on the topic, since when is it okay for a man to masturbate in front of a child? Since when is it okay to defend and protect the pedophile, instead of the child?
Throughout all of the letter writing, petitions, and attempts to have the material removed from the school curriculum, she never once backed down. She was proud of what she had written. She never expressed any doubts about why it might be viewed as inappropriate. She made jokes about being pornographic, making light of a very serious matter.
Her daughter on the other hand, struggled in a bleak, and lonely isolation for years, suffering from migraines, bulimia, shame, marginalization, and compound PTSD.
She finally told her mother about what her step-father had done to her. After that, the step-father wrote letters, trying to justify himself, and blame the victim, which helped to convict him after she finally went to the police. He said she was happy to go along with it, calling her a seductress, and a Little Lolita. How gross.
Alice Munro viewed her nine year old daughter as competition for his sexual interest, and was only concerned about how the molestation affected her life.
Alice Munro ultimately sided with her husband, and the relationship with her daughter was eventually terminated.
After she was made aware of her daughter’s sexual abuse, she never skipped a beat. She even had the gall to claim her husband had “many relationships” with young girls. In some cases of child molestation, family members have no clue. But in this case, it does appear that Alice Munro could have been an accessory to the crimes of her husband.
She seems to have viewed child molestation as a normal part of human sexuality. There is no other explanation for the cover up of the molestation of her own child. Nor is there any other explanation for her fierce defence of material she wrote describing a man masturbating in front of a girl.
When you consider her extensive writing about women, and the lives of women, she never once had a shred of empathy for her own daughter. How does such a callous attitude equate to understanding what girls and women actually experience?
Of course, as we all know by now, a pedophile will often have countless victims. It appears that from Alice Munro’s perspective, this was simply an expected part of the “Lives of Girls And Women”.
The big question one might ask is – why was she promoted so much? Not on merit, but on subject matter? And people wonder why there is a concern over the whole concept of pedophiles and grooming becoming a part of school curriculums?
In her backlash toward those who tried to censor her sexually explicit material in schools, she had the gall to claim there were many verses in the Bible that could be considered pornographic, if taken out of context.
Such a ludicrous claim does meet the definition of blasphemy. There is no basis for it whatsoever, nor could she support such a preposterous claim with a single example.
The only reason she would have come up with such an off base argument, is because she had no defence, and had the insolence and rebellion within her character to handle a challenge in such a manner. It shows far more about her character, and the indefensibility of her own hidden life, and lack of values.
Even though most of her writing is about the lives of girls and women, she did not do any of us any favours.
Few people dare to criticize Alice Munro, but I am not in any self-aggrandized literary circles, and I do not hesitate to lay bare, what she so cleverly tried to convey, and to conceal.
If anything, she was a master of deception, and supercilious self projections. On top of it all, her writing is banal and depressing. She spoke for no one but herself.
Of course anyone opposed to such lewdness as she conveyed, is labelled as a fundamentalist Christian.
But there are countless people who recognize there is an issue with what is being promoted in schools, specifically around improper sexual material. This unacceptable grooming includes stories like the one written by Alice Munro. Targeting the youth with explicit sexual propaganda, has been going on a very long time.
In response to some of the letter writing campaigns against Alice Munro’s description of a man masturbating in front of a young girl, she chose to fight back, making the absurd claim “If we don’t write about sex, it will disappear.”
I always did think she was bromidic and banal – but that one is a doozy.
Another sketchy aspect of her writing is that she would use the essence of stories written by Charles Dickens in “A Child’s History Of England”, and then reframed those stories to give them a happy ending. It borders on plagiarism, and certainly does not support the accolades she received as a creative genius who wrote original material.
When the children in Dickens stories were beheaded in the end, Alice Munro glibly stated “I changed the ending, so that wouldn’t happen.”
I realize the issue of censorship is a murky subject, and many books that have been censored did not appear to have valid reasons.
Six of the books written by Dr. Seuss have been censored. At One time the book about a horse called “Black Beauty” was censored. Two of George Orwell’s books “Animal Farm” and “1984” were censored. The list goes on to include “To Kill A Mockingbird” and Margaret Atwood’s “Handmaid’s Tale”.
In some cases the reasons seem ludicrous. Personally I do not think the topic of sexuality or sex scenes is a valid reason to censor a book.
But if the topic involves, or points toward the sexual abuse of a child, or child pornography in any way – then yes it should be at the very top of the chop list.
It has been years since I read “The Handmaid’s Tale” and other than thinking it was an awful book, like most of Atwood’s books are, I did not think it should be censored. In my opinion, Margaret Atwood is another highly over rated author.
Years ago, I went to the Vancouver writer’s festival, and listened to Margaret Atwood read something shewrote, that was pornographic, and disturbing. It was like ‘Uggh how awful to use her fame to subject us to such garbage”.
Immediately after Atwood’s zinger, a very strange guy got up supposedly to read a poem. Instead of reading anything, he started howling, growling, and making other guttural animal sounds.
The combination of Atwood’s reading, followed by the animalistic howling – I was done. I left early. It was a surreal experience, like floating around in the twilight zone, and encountering strange beings from another universe.
In the days and weeks following, I felt like all the interest, and zeal I had for the literary world had been bouncing around aimlessly, like a balloon full of hot air.
The experience of being in some kind of fake literary circle, was like a nauseating ride at an amusement park. A mind bender, except nothing about it was amusing.
It shattered my robust veneration for lyric poetry, and made it seem pointless. I was dragged down, deflated, and disgusted. What a bummer it was.
It was the opposite of what I expected it to be. There was nothing sophisticated, cultivated or refined about it. Instead it was crude and vulgar. It was hard to believe it was even viewed as art. Listening to some of it, was spine-chilling.
If an author is so gushed over, called a genius, and described as being great, many people who are tone deaf, and lack critical thinking, will automatically buy into it just to appear sophisticated and well read.
It’s kind of like certain paintings. Someone can splash a can of paint on a canvas, and if it is promoted enough, people will stand in awe and stare at it in an art museum. They may even pay two million dollars for it at an auction.
We need to learn to recognize audacious propaganda – sugar-coated, and dripping with slanted promotions, underhanded motives, and other such semantic trickery. Read the lines, and then read between the lines.
When you think about it, the government backs certain writers in much the same way they support and finance the media. They lay out the parameters for the narrative, and then promote those who align with it.
They support and champion the ideas of their choice, and encourage the infiltration of those ideas into our minds, and the minds of children in the schools. They are stealthily breaking down boundaries, one word at a time.
It helps to explain why the CBC, and other media outlets describe certain mundane, or even borderline vulgar writers, in such grandiose terms. They give them non-stop free advertising, and use their own oblique verbiage, to paint them as some kind of gods or goddesses.In reality, it is just more government brainwashing.
Since the revelation about the sexual abuse inflicted upon the daughter of Alice Munro, the National Post came out with an article on July 10, 2024 written by Allan Stratton titled “In Defence Of Alice Munro’s Legacy”.
He somehow managed to blame shift the disgust people feel, onto those who are actually questioning the validity of her legacy. How dare we? How dare he – write such an article when millions of children have been traumatized by child sexual abuse.
Maybe it seems insensitive, but my first thought was – this guy is actually trying to resurrect a dead word mule. At least let the reader be the judge of her works, instead of repeatedly telling us how great she was. In my estimation, she was a word mule – peddling a load of crap
It is invariably framed, as if the reader has no capacity for comprehension of the written word. Talk about arrogance and manipulation, just to whitewash it all, to keep that sullied legacy alive.
In some people’s eyes, her legacy has died. We do not have to view her as a great writer. Nor do we have to defend her so-called legacy, or keep it alive. Covid taught us a lot about the media. Skepticism is no longer for the hard core cynics.
Would any of them have the courage to come out in defence of the child? Not likely. Yet so much of the fall out from child sexual abuse goes on for generations. Countless little girls who were molested end up in prostitution, or being re-victimized in relationships. It takes years to overcome it, and many never do overcome it.
Alice Munro’s daughter initially came forward because she had children to protect. At least give her some credit. She is still battling those demons from the past. Alice Munro is not. Nor was Alice Munro ever a victim.
In spite of all the accolades she received as a writer, she never wrote a single novel. She seemed to have lamented this fact many times throughout her writing career. But she still did not manage the task of writing a novel.
It takes far more organizational ability, and a lot more work, and brain power to write a novel, than it does to write articles or short stories.
There is so much more planning involved. You have to create an outline, set a pace, establish a flow, the overall composition, create an amalgamation of complex ideas, establish consistency, and make the ideas blend, and connect from the beginning to the end.
You have at least a hundred thousand words to keep track of. You need to create the direction, map the journey, and know where you are taking it. Or it will become hopelessly jumbled.
Whereas a short story has an average of about three thousand words. You can easily go back to the beginning, or the middle. You are not trying to hold a hundred thousand threads together to keep them from unravelling. Short stories and articles are sort of like dabbling.
Poetry is different though. Even though it is shortest of all literary forms, expressing concepts in a nutshell requires a fervid imagination.
It may be short, but in my opinion, it is the most piercing. During times when I wrote a lot of poetry, I became totally burnt out, sometimes for several days, or a week. For some reason, it can be exhausting to the core.
Emily Dickinson and many other famous poets described it as “the white heat of creation”. She viewed it as such because of the fiery and intrinsic intensity, as well as the fact it is limitless. She noted, there are impossible possibilities – a symbol of infinitude.
In spite of the fact Alice Munro never managed to write a single novel, and as far as I know did not write any poetry – she was praised and elevated to be some kind of prosaic saint. It is not to say the short story does not have merit. All writing styles and genres can have merit. No doubt some of her short stories do have the qualities of an exceptional writer. There are people who like her material. Fair enough.
My question is, whether or not her writing actually warranted as much praise as she got. Personally, I don’t think so. However, I will admit my point of view is blunted, because I have not read all of her material, and what I did read, did not impress me. Thankfully I never had to glorify her, in order to pass a course.
As far as my own meagre experience, I have written a novel, which is unpublished due to some sensitive material. I have written hundreds of poems, and non-fiction articles, some of which can be read in this blog.
So I do have some understanding of the writing process, and what is involved. I do not have a professional editor, and although perhaps I should, I am not vying for any status as a writer, other than what the reader can gain from it. A few typos, and some errant aspects of grammar, tense, etc. do not take away the main points.
When you do hire a University educated editor, as I once did, you may not get unbiased proofing to tidy up the grammar etc. I expected an editor to be helpful.
Given the amount of indoctrination at the University level, you are more likely to get an arrogant woke wannabe writer, who begins to challenge all of your thought processes. Like they are the schoolmaster, and you are the wayward child.
For the most part they do teach writing, and freelance as editors to earn extra cash. Therefore, they may not view anyone as a mature writer.
In spite of my many flaws, I have been writing for decades. If I decide to hire an editor, I am not a child sitting in a classroom, about to get scolded for what I am thinking. Thought reform is not on my agenda. I have already been subjected to it, so I know it when I see it.
The editor I temporarily hired, is not someone I would ever rehire, or recommend to any other writer. Although I did gain some understanding of themes, motifs etc. in writing, it was a pain dealing with her.
She clearly had more respect for the editor, as opposed to having respect for the writer. She had very little of her own written content, which spoke volumes. I wondered how she could be so critical, in spite of the fact she was not a writer. It was like wrestling with the wind. There was never anything to grasp hold of, so it could be applied in a practical sense.
I prefer to write what I want to write, the way I choose to write it. It is the one freedom we have. Language is a wonderful avenue to exercise that freedom. Certain powers want to stifle people who write outside the box, see limitless possibilities, and are not afraid to challenge the status quo. Those are all key motivators, for those of us with a spine.
There are certain values, and topics I prefer to write about. I don’t promote any kind of child pornography. I abhor it. I don’t promote genocide, including MAID. I am dead set against it. Other than poetry, I prefer to write non-fiction.
I also know full well I would never in a million years get an award for what I write, and frankly, I don’t care. I hope to reach ordinary people, who are fully capable of deciding what they want to read, and what they think is interesting.
I don’t need CBC to blather on about what I write, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I would be the last person they would gush over, even if I wrote a hundred novels.
Also, the greatest works of art tend to come from those who have experienced heartfelt, profound emotional pain, oppression, subjugation, and deep seated adversity.
It is not based on academia, advanced degrees, or on who manages to garner the most puff pieces on CBC. We don’t have to spin our wheels in grandiloquent University circles, all of which have the same kind of indoctrinated dogmas as the media does.
We do not have to be a round peg forced into a square hole. We have around 170,000 words to choose from, and can arrange them as we please.
They are free for the plucking. Most people who gravitate toward writing love language. We are fascinated by words, the meaning of words, and the fact they can carry a punch, a wallop, or a poke – all in a single paragraph.
To put it simply – Creativity is judged by the number of people who are moved by it.
It does not get its value from a single editor. Nor can it be corralled, or penned in by a group of eighteen bombastic Swedes, who seem to think they are the supreme judges of subjective art.
Language arts is an incredibly vast, intricate, and malleable subject. No one has a corner on the written word, except for God himself.
The next point of contention is about the Nobel Prize for literature itself. It is very controversial, biased, and highly subjective. How can eighteen Swedes possibly read all the written content, and make a decision who to place up on their pseudo-pedestal?
It is an idiosyncratic, arbitrary, prejudicial and supremely arrogant depiction of what is the best writing in the entire world. Did they actually read all of it. What makes them the be all, and end all –when it comes to judging the written works of millions of writers?
Nothing could possibly qualify them for such a task. Therefore the entire concept should be called into question. Hopefully, it will eventually lose all credibility.
It is a purely political position they take, and it has come to the point where the award is meaningless. It is used for advertising alone, like a glossy rendition of the star scribes.
Is it any wonder certain writer’s set their vanity aside, and saw through this fickle award. It was turned down by Erik Axel Karlfeldt in 1919, Boris Pasternak in 1958 (for Soviet Union political reasons), and Jean Paul Sartre in 1964.
Ironically, countless very accomplished writers never even got nominated. For so many – the esteemed Cracker Jack award process, dropped them through the cracks of the cultured creatives. They were beneath them.
In addition, there was controversy surrounding Bob Dylan receiving the award in 2016. It took around five months for him to accept it, because many people did not believe a songwriter fit the profile for such an award.
Peter Handke was another controversial recipient of the award, because he was a proponent of advanced genocide apologetics.
Overall, the most disputable and contentious Nobel Prize awards have been first and foremost the one for literature, followed by peace, and economics.
To further entrench the absolutism and arbitrary nature of the Noble Prize – it is impossible to revoke such an award. They consider themselves to be the despotic judges of all human achievement. Set in stone.
Whereas certain other awards are not quite so laden with intractable hubris.
For example – The Order of Canada. Given that most awards are subject to political bias, selfish ambition, and sometimes outright fraud, this award can be revoked.
We recently saw this happen with Mary Turpel-Lafond, and Buffy Saint Marie. Both of them made false claims of being of Indigenous heritage, in order to advance their careers, and pretend they had faced undue hardship.
In actual fact, they made great monetary gains, and received multiple awards based on the lies they told. Both of them also received honorary doctorates from multiple Universities.
Buffy Saint Marie for some reason, is not on the Wikipedia list of those who had the award revoked. Apparently Mary Turpel-Lafond was dropped, or convinced to withdraw.
The list of those who were officially dropped from the Order of Canada includes Alan Eagleson, after being jailed for fraud in 1998, David Ahenakew was removed in 2005 after being accused of promoting anti-Semitic hatred, and T. Sher Singh was removed after his law license was revoked for professional misconduct.
In addition, Steve Fonyo was removed due to multiple criminal convictions. Garth Drabinsky was dropped in 2012 after being convicted of fraud and forgery in Ontario. Perhaps most famously Conrad Black was also dropped from the prestigious group, after being convicted of fraud and obstruction of justice in the US.
Ranjit Chandra was removed in 2015 for committing research fraud. And finally Johnny Issaluk was removed due to allegations of sexual misconduct.
It appears several others gave voluntary resignations to include Mary Turpel-Lafond. So it appears there are both involuntary, and voluntary resignations, of which there are many.
The fact so many people fall from grace in our very secular world, does make it seem fair to have these awards revoked under certain circumstances.
So many people are up in arms about what they so enigmatically call cancel culture. In my opinion, the term itself should be cancelled. It is another pejorative term for those who question some of these awards, and backgrounds of those who are placed in such high esteem.
It is true – we are all fallible. We all have deep flaws, but that does not excuse child molestation, fraud, or any other crime.
To make an attempt to paint all people with broad brush strokes, and make flippant claims such as everyone does it – is skirting accountability. It is an attempt to give permission to the fraudsters, to take advantage of the systems that are supposed to be fair, and actually mean something.
There is no such thing as cancel culture. Nothing will cancel Alice Munro. No matter what is revealed about a person, even after their death – it does not cancel them. Although it may taint their work in the eyes of some people, it does not remove their body of work.
Vandals destroyed the statue of John A. MacDonald, Canada’s first Prime Minister, because they believe he was responsible for the residential schools.
To attribute deep-rooted and long standing societal harms to one individual, is a form of scapegoating. The issues leading to residential schools, are steeped in a cauldron of convoluted and complex history. It stems from the politics of many people, throughout many generations, to create the most downtrodden, and dense – burden of blame and blunders.
No one can cancel the history of John A. MacDonald in Canadian politics. Truthfully, the attempt to cancel historical figures is an assault on our culture, history and heritage.
Even Stalin and Hitler cannot be cancelled, because none of us can turn back the clock, or change what happened.
Just as it is with child sexual abuse, to deny it, is what re-victimizes people, and causes harmful patterns to be repeated.
We cannot cancel what happens. Nor can we change the biases of those who award the Nobel Prize for literature. Alice Munro was given the award. It will never be revoked.
Does it matter. No probably not. When I review some of the recipients of the Nobel Prize over the years, most of them are people I have never even heard of.
Such an award can be used for promotional reasons, and to many, it is the highest achievement one can get. But what does it really get for them? Certainly not a dose of humility.
The more I read about it, and the more I think about it, most of the awards are meaningless in the overall scheme of things.
As far as censorship, I believe that anything promoting, or advancing child pornography should be censored, as well as ideologies that promote genocide, or violence against certain groups of people, or any people for that matter.
We live in a world steeped in deception and vanity, which is why I no longer see much value in awards. A degree of anonymity, and a willingness to admit wrongdoing, and turn away from it, is much more intrinsically valuable.
I think if anything we all should sharpen our critical thinking skills, our discernment, and our ability to distinguish right from wrong. It does not mean we all need to be judgemental, but we do need to decide for ourselves what is true, and what has merit.
I believe most of the merit attributed to Alice Munro, is propaganda. I hope her daughter heals and finds peace. I hope any other victims will have the courage to come forward. And I hope people can see the sexist nature of the writings of Alice Munro.
And being of Swedish ancestry myself, I hope the Nobel Prize awarding Swedes eventually come off their high horses, and come to their senses.
The supremacy, pompousness, and audacity they have, to consider themselves the absolute judges of subjective art, as in all things written throughout the world – is almost laughable, or otherworldly perhaps.
Like they are some kind of divine seers, transcending and nailing the epiphanies of what it is to be a human being; and decide whether each of those profound revelations, should be deemed to have substance.
Imagine the glut of all those fleeting, illusory, vague, vulgar, and gloomy concepts, shady as some of them are – and how they can be hailed, and nailed as heroes – just because they said so.
It is quite the paradox, to structure a despotic coup of subjective art, by a handful of eccentrics. Who are those eighteen people in Sweden? Nobody really. What do we know about their ability to be judge and jury over the written word? Nothing at all.
In fact, it is so dubiously high-handed – it becomes as chaff in the wind.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Of all things God hates the most, as listed in Proverbs 6: 17, the first two on the list are “a proud look, and a lying tongue”. Yet how many sermons do we hear about the topics of arrogance and lying?
It is not only Christians who become arrogant. It is human nature to have a cognitive bias in relation to how we view ourselves. In some cases, it is part of being successful, or having a purpose, or achievements – whatever they might be.
Life as we come to know it, is based on a variety of hierarchal structures. It begins in families, schools, churches, businesses, perceptions of beauty, levels of intelligence, political prowess, leadership, achievements in sports, and most of all – money. The image of wealth is the be all, and end all for many people.
We need to have a certain amount of hierarchy, to help maintain order. Unfortunately along with hierarchy, there can be arrogance, dominance, and abuse of power, which can be very toxic.
Outward appearances of success, is the reason why it is important for some rich men to have a trophy wife, often one who is thirty years younger than he is. It completes the image of success, as society might define it.
So we are accustomed to judging people, not only for moral reasons, but primarily for whatever image they are able to present.
Usually we do not know the full truth underlying another person’s outward image. We often don’t know their business practices, or how they treat others, or how they got their wealth. We don’t know about the underlying addictions, the extent of their greed, or how many affairs a person has had, how much they manipulate outcomes, or what their true motives are.
That is probably why the Bible tells us not to judge others. It tells us Christ will judge because only He knows the hearts and minds of people. We don’t. It is also why we are told to forgive, because most of us don’t even have a true concept of our own fallibilities.
We have an error-prone tendency to see the faults of others through a microscope, but we see our own faults through a telescope with a dirty scratched up lens.
Before you can achieve anything, you first have to believe you can do it. But there is a difference between a quiet confidence, and arrogance. Arrogance is rooted not only in self deception, but also in insecurity. It is a brittle way of putting on an exterior of superiority or invincibility, in order to protect the more fragile inner self.
I will readily admit being guilty of self-deception, stupidity, and at times empty-headed arrogance, throughout my life.
Part of it stemmed from religious indoctrination by a high school teacher, who held me captive for hours upon hours telling me I was special. Even more bizarre, he repeatedly claimed I was – “his special gift from God”.
This was a man, who claimed to be a Christian, yet he was arrogant, and deceptive to the core. It took me years to admit to myself that he was a pathological liar. I actually thought for many years, if I did not see him as wonderful, there must be something seriously wrong with me. I was indoctrinated with extremism and religious falsehoods, without fully realizing it.
Even though I irrationally believed I had put up a barrier to all the brainwashing and lies, I still absorbed more of it than I cared to admit. It is the reason our hearts, minds and spirits should never be subjected to master manipulators, and sophisticated brainwashing techniques. It is like getting grabbed by a crocodile, and every time you get a breath, it drags you under again.
Brainwashing or thought reform is extremely abusive, and at the time, I had no idea it is a systemic breaking down of all boundaries, barriers, and self preservation. The abuse targets your mind, emotions and spirit.
When a wolf in sheep’s clothing fixates on his prey, it becomes a soul-destroying endeavour. You are up against an apex predator, and like a weak young animal separated from the flock, you do not stand much of a chance.
The same lies are drilled into your psyche – repeated over and over, when you are exhausted and traumatized. It leads to a lifetime of destructive escapism, in an attempt to break free of the snare.
Few people realize that forcible religious indoctrination with deception, and false claims – is profoundly abusive. It swings erratically from shaming, to being made special. Of course the shaming is tied to any defiance, or refusal to accept the lies, and being special is tied to accepting those lies.
Telling a child they are special, is not doing anything for their self-esteem. It robs them of a healthy, balanced, and realistic outlook. It makes them feel they must conform to some kind of ideal image, in order to be acceptable. Being special is nothing but a deceptive burden. It is also an angle that is commonly used by those who exploit children.
Young people are especially vulnerable to identity assault, and mind control by those who abuse power, when they are teenagers. The teen years are a very important, and challenging developmental time frame.
It is a crucial period of time, as we establish our identity, come to terms with family of origin, develop independence, and make important, and directional life choices, like choosing a career. He robbed me of all those things.
Adult men in positions of power, who exploit children and teenagers, will not escape God’s wrath. It is probably the only consolation in the whole ordeal.
On one side of the psychological and spiritual abuse coin is shame, degradation and insults. Yet the other side of the coin is even worse, as it contains a fake image of being the “special” possession, or a shiny object, sought out or pursued by another person, for their own gain, not ours.
It is not that I don’t take responsibility for my own development, and outlook. But in hindsight, I can see some of the main contributors to my own self-deception.
I can also see how the emotional, spiritual, and psychological attacks led to defensiveness. I used accomplishments to try and defend myself. It is a feeble attempt to use achievements, as a means of defending our basic rights.
Eventually I realized I should not have to defend myself by drawing attention to achievements, because our basic and inalienable human rights are not tied to achievements. Neither is our God given free will, or the right to be a member of our own family. Just like we do not earn salvation, we cannot earn basic human rights either.
Underneath it all, I did not lose sight of being the lowest in the pecking order, so the arrogance was not deep rooted or intrinsic to my personality. But nevertheless, I can think of many episodes of being a smart-ass, as well as becoming defensive when under attack.
Repentance and remorse humbles us, which is a blessing, because otherwise our foolish hearts become delusional, darkened, and hardened. We really do not have much self awareness or insight, until we do repent. Then it is most difficult to forgive ourselves, because there is nothing short of what Christ did on the cross, that can forgive the things we cannot change.
The entire process of repentance is not only about all the awful things we have done, but it is also about harbouring anger, and fear. Both of these mindsets make it more difficult to forgive.
If there is a background of trauma or abuse, letting go of anger, and overcoming fear is something we have to deal with, or else we become perpetually anxious, or hardened and bitter. We are not supposed to have a spirit of fear, as it represents a lack of faith, and a basic cowardice. Fear can crowd out everything else, if we do not find a way to overcome it.
One of the reasons it is so common for Christians to become self-righteous, arrogant, and judgemental, is because we are often indoctrinated with falsehoods. Part of the indoctrination includes being special, maintaining outward appearances, being chosen by God, righteous, etc.
Another part of it stems from morality, and the need to discern right from wrong. We tend to think if we can recognize what is right or wrong, then it makes us morally superior. We don’t have to compare ourselves to anyone else. Discernment is for our own guidance and edification.
It goes right back to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When they chose to eat the forbidden fruit, the fruit they ate was from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Once humankind made the decision, we are left with a knowledge of good and evil – yet we really do not have the full capacity to separate the two. That is probably why God told them not to eat of that particular fruit.
Even in prisons, there is a pecking order and dominance based on the self-righteous judgment of the lesser human beings. A gang murderer is not as bad as a child killer. A drug dealer is not as bad as wife beater. And probably the lowest of the low – is the snitch.
Other than to turn away from evil, surely we can see that our judgement is quite futile.
Pride is part of deception. We are deceived by outward appearances. We cannot take the blinders off, until we repent. The most basic messages in the Bible, tell us over and over – to repent. We all fall short of the glory of God.
When we repent, we receive God’s forgiveness and mercy. We are brought to repentance through His grace. To be humble is a sign of His wisdom, not ours. Even the verses we read telling us Christians are chosen, or called according to God’s purpose – is not based on our own merit.
There are so many things beyond our earthly comprehension. We are given certain gifts, and many blessings. Every sunrise, every flower, every good thing, and every breath we take – is part of God’s blessing.
We really have nothing to be proud of. But we do have the full expanse of God’s kingdom, and plans – to be grateful for. Without God, we most definitely would not even be here. Without Jesus, we would not have salvation, or forgiveness. We would all be doomed.
Pride is not sustainable. The Bible tells us in many places, and in no uncertain terms – the proud will be brought down. There is no Biblical justification for pride.
There is no superiority in being a Christian. It is based on servitude, which is the opposite of superiority.
Salvation is a gift, and we are to accept the gift with gratitude, faith and worship. We did not earn our salvation. We cannot save ourselves.
For Christians who think they do not have to repent, or who see themselves as vastly superior – it is only based on self-deception, indoctrination, and insecurity. Arrogance presents a false self.
Many modern day preachers are quite arrogant. A significant amount of false teaching, gives the impression of deserving prosperity, material blessings, and being the chosen ones.
Truthfully, in addition to repenting, we are instructed to persevere through all things that come our way. We are told to expect tribulation, and rejection, and to overcome adversity.
We are told to turn away from all the things God tells us to turn away from. Doing so, is not arrogance. It is the avoidance of evil influences and temptations, including our own inclination toward evil.
We are to be thankful, because we can trust God. We are to be patient, because we know His word, and promises will be fulfilled.
We are to seek love, and truth. God is love. And ultimately love prevails, and will overcome all things.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The false teaching seems to be increasing. Not long ago I was listening to a pastor from a church in the US who seemed to be genuine. But there were some red flags, as I thought a few times, he seemed to be somewhat arrogant.
In his recent sermons, on at least two occasions, he claimed Jesus was an angel. He went on to support the claim by saying the angel with the little book in Revelation chapter 10, is actually a description of Jesus. Alarm bells went off. I thought – what?
He then went on to compare the angel in chapter 10, to the description of Christ in Revelation chapter 1: 13-15.
In addition, he supported his falsehood by adamantly stating that scripture teaches scripture, which is absurd if you take such liberties.
Yes scripture does support scripture, because in Hebrews it makes it very clear that Jesus is not an angel. So if anything, this example supports the advice – to test all things.
This is a pastor with a large following. He spends much of his time dissecting Greek lexicon, so it gives him an aura of superiority and advanced knowledge.
Another red flag prior to the more obvious angel falsehood, was that he used his advanced knowledge of Greek language to add to the Bible in many ways. In hindsight, I can now see he was adding a lot of his own faulty interpretations. I will never listen to him again.
He makes a direct comparison to the following description of Christ, and creates the comparison based on some similarities found in the two descriptions. But both descriptions make it clear, that in one it is an angel, and the other it is Christ.
It does stand to reason that an angel of the Lord, or an angel sent by God as a powerful messenger, would have some of the attributes of God. But this does not mean there is a transformation between the two. God forbid.
Jesus is not an angel. He is the only begotten son of God. Other verses tell us there are as many angels as stars in the sky. The following verse is describing Jesus, and it is not meant to be morphed into any magical thinking, or false comparisons to angels.
Surely this false teacher knows his Bible. He spends hours and hours teaching every minute nuance, and yet makes such a glaring error.
Discernment is very important, probably more so now than ever before in history. This example highlights why it is very important for all Christians to check what the Bible actually says. The Bible also tells us not to worship angels. Yet this false teaching bypasses that instruction as well.
Up until I heard the pastor claim Jesus was an angel, I had listened to quite a few of his sermons. Now I want to purge all of it from my memory.
In hindsight there were quite a few red flags. The first red flag is the subtle, and sometimes not so subtle arrogance. Like he knows it all, and everyone else is a peon (or an idiot) who requires his advanced knowledge and guidance.
He constantly refers to his last day teaching series, and repeatedly tells people to go back to his own series for clarification on certain topics. His series, or teaching is extensive, and is posted on his website, as if that is the gospel truth, when clearly it is not.
The second red flag is when someone creates their own secondary set of teaching, and then refers people to that, instead of the Bible. It tells us they are more concerned about self-exaltation than anything else.
It could also mean they are intentionally deceiving people who they think are less intelligent than they are.
Moving on – the other night I listened briefly to another longstanding well-known pastor preach a sermon. Before long, he was talking about, and promoting the concept of the rapture.
He dismissed the naysayers (like myself), who know full well the word rapture is not in the Bible.
The word rapture was added to Bible teaching deceptively in the mid 1800’s by the scoundrel John Darby, and enhanced by another word rogue, Scofield. Since then, many mainstream churches picked up on the theory.
This very experienced, and authoritative preacher did not make reference to where the rapture doctrine actually came from. He did not provide the background, introduction, or origin of this false doctrine. Instead he made a false comparison to prove his errant point.
His counter argument was to say that just because the word rapture is not in the Bible, does not discount the reality, or the significance of the rapture.
He then threw in the Greek word harpazo, which means to forcibly seize upon, or snatch away. However the context is quite different. Rapture theology teaches that Christians will be taken off the earth before the tribulation, before the second coming of Christ.
Harpazo in context, means the Christians who are alive when Christ returns, will be caught up to meet Him in the air.
The two concepts or comparisons between harpazo and rapture, in meaning and context, are very different. The rapture is supposedly a secretive removal of all Christians prior to the second coming.
No matter how they try to rationalize it, there is still no Biblical basis for the rapture claim. In fact there are many verses to refute such a claim, for anyone who cares to look them up.
Some will even use a Latin translation, to try and enhance this theory as a Biblical truth. No matter what semantic gymnastics they resort to – it is simply not true.
We all have God given free will. People can believe what they want to believe. Just because they believe it, does not make it true.
All people who believe in the rapture, should read about Darby, and how he came up with not only the false rapture doctrine, but also a complete and systemic dispensational system, in order to break down the Biblical timelines and turn truths into falsehoods.
It is false doctrine in all realms, to include the rapture. Darby’s rapture theology actually came from a fifteen year old girl who claimed to levitate during a seance. How this became part of a Christian belief system, is downright devious.
As the pastor continued his sermon, in a condescending tone, he stated the word Bible is not in the Bible either. To make a rapture comparison to the entire Bible, is mind boggling.
He is indirectly saying those of us who discount, or do not believe in rapture theology, are also discounting the Bible. Now isn’t that quite a linguistic stretch? It is also a discreet, yet profound manipulation of truth.
Once again, it astounds me how arrogant some of these guys are.
For starters – the word Bible is in fact in the Bible. It is a direct translation from the Greek biblos. This word is in the Bible many times.
So the pastor was actually using a false claim, to support a false claim. Yet this man has been a pastor for five decades.
These are just a couple of examples of deceptions that are creeping into Christian teaching more and more.
There are countless obvious false teachers and preachers on YouTube like Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland, John Piper, and many other fake faith healers, prosperity teachers, along with mega churches who have turned church services into entertainment and rock concerts.
But those are easier to discern. It is those who seemingly use sound doctrine, and then deviate, who are the most deceptive of all.
When you listen to the Apostles, or to the words of Christ himself – you never hear arrogance or falsehoods. All of the teaching is instructional, encouraging, and truthful.
This is why it is so important to go back to the original Biblical teaching. The tone of it is never the least bit arrogant. There is no ranting and raving. There is no dissecting, or manipulation of words to change the original meaning.
There are no false comparisons, in order to cleverly create deceptive imagery. There are mysteries we may not understand yet, but there is no false teaching in the authentic Bible.
As far as some of these preachers are concerned – surely they know their Bibles better than I do, and better than most of us do.
Although I do not know if they are intentionally deceiving people, or if they themselves are deluded, and blinded to the truth – for sure, one day they will be held accountable.
The Bible contains many warnings telling us not to be deceived. It lets us know there will be such extensive deception in the end times, that even the elect can be deceived.
The power of words is endless, which in turn means the manipulation of words is also extensive, but unlike truth, deception is not endless.
Eventually all lies, falsehoods, guile, intentional deception, twisting of scripture, out of context scripture, adding to, and taking away from the Bible, etc. will end.
The truth will never end, but deception is not eternal.
We are taught to forgive those who betray us. However, we are not taught to accept deception of any sort. Therefore discernment is very important, not only in what we hear from others, but also what we believe or claim ourselves.
We have to seek the truth in all things. There is no such thing as my truth, and your truth, if they are as different as night and day. 2 Thessalonians 2: 10-12 gives us a strong warning:
If people reject us, or hate us for clinging to the truth – so be it. Truth will endure. Deception will not.
As far as the belief, and verses that tell women not to teach men in the churches, I have read those verses, and can see why women should not stand up, and take over the podium. I think if there is false teaching, the only alternative is to walk away.
Even though there is much emphasis on how women are to be silent, and not teach men in the churches – there are many women throughout the Bible who were prophets. That means women did instruct men, albeit in a different manner.
If men are teaching false doctrine, discernment is for all people. The truth contained within the Bible is the ultimate authority.
In reality, women do not have authority over men in any capacity. We can only avoid and turn away from the ones we do not want to listen to, be dominated by, or have to deal with.
If they will not accept a boundary, or a fundamental truth – what else can you do? Many good men, are also manipulated and deceived by other men, including those who call themselves Christians.
Even in the secular world, women do not have authority over men. In business and politics, some women might appear to have power – but they are still submitting to the orders of the party line, or a board of directors, or a male CEO.
Often rich and successful women are backed by a rich father, or spouse – or they would not be rich and successful. Very few, if any women are self-made millionaires.
The Bible consistently tells women to respect and honour their husbands. Husbands are also advised to love, and be faithful to their wives. There is a reciprocity needed in order for marriages to work.
Unfortunately many people do not fully grasp this, or have the maturity to protect their marriage. Yet marriage is the most important union of our lives on earth. Those who succeed in having a good, and long term marriage – are very blessed.
In spite of our own shortcomings, the Bible does not contain contradictions, or any instructions that will harm or deceive us.
Many atheists mock Christians, because they refuse to believe in what they cannot see, or understand. Or perhaps it is because they have already been saddled with the strong delusion.
However, the greatest enemy of all Christians and churches, comes from the deception within. We are not deceived by atheists. We are deceived either within ourselves, or by those who have knowledge of the Bible, and use it to deceive people.
Ultimately there is unity among the true believers, because our genuine identity, is part of the body of Christ. Galatians 3:28 is one of the verses to confirm this.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
As we approach the day of the eclipse with much interest, for some with purely scientific awe, and the rare chance to witness a total eclipse in North America. But for many, there is a much greater Spiritual scope, and meaning attributed to these signs in the heavens.
Although eclipses happen every eighteen months, the chance to view them varies depending on where you live in the world, as well as the amount of cloud cover at the time.
Apparently what makes tomorrow’s eclipse (April 8, 2024) so special is the visibility that will occur across the US, especially in the State of Ohio. The last time Ohio witnessed a total eclipse was in 1806 during the Tecumseh’s Eclipse. Normally the eclipses are near the poles.
There are many preachers, and Biblical interpretations surrounding eclipses and blood moons. Throughout the Bible, there are verses about the cosmos, and the disruption in the cosmos as we get closer to the end of the age.
There are many verses in the Book of Revelation that I find to be perplexing, and misunderstood, not only by me, but by many others. I have pondered the meaning of certain verses, whether literal or figurative, and what they truly mean.
During a time in my life when I was indoctrinated with hyper dispensationalism, I feared the Book of Revelation. The reason I had fear is because I was not reading it, or listening to it for myself, but rather was listening to gloom and doom interpretations of it.
All those false interpretations had a focus on fear, tribulation, bloodshed, persecution, terrible times, a one world order, the antichrist, and finally Presto – the rapture of the church, to provide a timely escape.
Although there is much I still don’t understand, what I do understand now is very different from what I was indoctrinated with.
I have grown to love the Book of Revelation, and find it is filled with awe, and most of all, with hope. What a relief it is to embrace this incredible book, in all of the purity and truth contained in God’s word. Men have a tendency to make a mess of things.
The things I can say, are not in the Book of Revelation are the words, “antichrist, seven year tribulation, or rapture of the church”.
Obviously, people can interpret things the way they choose too, but if we are actually seeking the truth, I personally do not see truth in a one world order, or a single all encompassing antichrist, or in a fictionalized rapture.
The Book of Revelation is about the revelation of Jesus Christ. It is about the climactic and dramatic timelines in the great battle to overcome death, deception, and Satan himself, along with those who follow him. This includes the fallen angels, and those who align themselves with evil, lawlessness, and corruption.
The mysteries are steeped in timelines, and metaphors that we may not understand. They may not be revealed to us fully, until a later date. We cannot know everything, because we are not God.
We cannot possibly understand all of history, all of the spirit world, and prophecies that have yet to be fulfilled. We can understand some of it, but not all. And for these reasons, we must hold fast to our beliefs, and also realize that the more we study, or listen to the Bible, the more it increases our faith.
If we trust God, we have to put our faith in the fullness of His plans for this world.
Among the many verses I do not understand, and find to be the most fascinating is in Revelation 10 when the angel gave John the book and told him to eat it up. Before that, as he was about to write what the seven thunders uttered, he was suddenly told not to write it down, but rather to go and take the little book from the angel, and eat it up.
It really does make us wonder what the seven thunders said. In my own limited interpretation, I came to understand this verse as the digesting of God’s word, followed by the need to go and spread the gospel throughout the world.
As far as reference to eclipses, and signs in the heavens Revelation 6:12 describes the opening of the sixth seal, followed by a great earthquake, and the sun became black as a sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood:
This is about the wrath of God because in verse 17 it goes on to describe it as such.
In Revelation 8 verse 12 the fourth angel sounded the trumpet, and once again darkness falls upon the earth, and in this verse it is described as being in thirds. A third part of the sun was smitten, and a third part of the moon and a third part of the stars:
Prior to the description of the third part of the sun, and moon being smitten, in verse 10, you will notice that a great star fell from heaven called Wormwood, causing people to be poisoned.
This is a description of Satan, and the fall of Satan. When cast out of heaven Satan took a third of the angels with him, and I believe these verses are describing how darkness and poison happened as a result of Satan’s war in heaven to the point where he was cast out.
Therefore the truth in the Book of Revelation is embodied in the victory of Jesus Christ, as the time approaches and culminates in His return to this earth.
When He was here in the flesh the first time, He spent His time teaching, healing, and spreading the news of the gospel, and God’s great plan for salvation. Jesus, the Apostles, and John the Baptist all had central or core messages – to believe in Christ as Saviour, to repent of sins, and to love one another.
In all of the complexity, and variations of interpretations, the central theme is always consistent.
Not only that, but Christ has promised believers in John 14 verse 6 “Jesus saith unto him I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”
Therefore we know, he will reveal Himself to all believers in due time. His grace, and offer of salvation, is a phenomenal gift.
In addition to the central theme of hope in the gospel and the revelation of Christ, we are warned many times not to be deceived.
In fact the warnings to be careful, diligent, to test all things, to study the word of God carefully, avoid false teachings, false doctrines, false gods, are too numerous to mention. It would take a full book to extrapolate all the warnings about deception that are contained within the different books of the Bible.
Deception is the biggest enemy of the end times. Be wary of those who change the Bible, add to the Bible, or take away from the Bible. Be wary of all the isms, as those are more focused on some man, as opposed to the Bible, and usually have specific ideologies, and falsehoods tacked onto them.
Don’t make the mistake of listening to a preacher who might be misguided. Read it for yourself. Don’t make the mistake of adhering to beliefs because they are part of the denomination of your church. If they do not align with God’s word, take God’s word over man’s word.
The body of Christ is one body, therefore the message should be consistent, and align with the Bible in all ways.
If you listen to the Apostles, you will notice that none of them were arrogant or domineering. They did not rely on fear mongering, or ranting and raving. Nor did they live extravagant lifestyles. They were humble, yet powerful – because they were inspired by God, and because they preached the infallible truth.
Be careful which translation you use, and in my opinion – avoid Darby and Scofield bibles like the plague.
If someone is preaching what is not in the Bible, or if they are taking single verses out of context to promote a certain belief, be wary.
As far as the rapture theory, in addition to the fact it was an invention of John Darby, is not in the Bible, and was not a belief of the early churches, ask yourself a few questions if you believe in this biblical alteration. When I was led to believe this was the gospel truth, I had doubts. These are some of the questions that immediately came to mind:
Why would God have a special plan of escape for those at the end of the age, when the Apostles and millions of other Christians throughout history faced intense persecution and death?
Why would God in His word repeatedly talk about the second coming of Christ if He raptures the church in a secret coming – thus making His return three times, not twice?
Why would God tell people to endure until the end, even unto death? There are a hundred Bible verses telling people to endure until the end, including death, because the promise is that Christ has overcome death.
There are so many things about the rapture belief that defies all logic, and the truth. So many people rigidly adhere to this mistaken, deceptive, false belief for their entire lifetimes. It makes me wonder what will happen to them.
Seeking the truth is not the easy way out of this world. It is often met with much resistance from churches and other church-goers. But remember – we are not accountable to man. We are not obliged to believe everything we are told.
When I questioned, and then rejected the rapture doctrine, it ultimately led to being shunned by many people.
Truth can be a rocky road. Just like the adoption lie that was created by a hyper dispensationalist teacher over my own life, I now know that people who will lie about one thing, will lie about a lot of things.
We, as believers are adopted into the family of God, not some cult teacher from a hick town. We are born again, based on our belief in Christ.
The fifth commandment tells us to honour our father and mother. No one replaces our natural father and mother, as that is our God-given lineage.
Anyone who tells a young person that their mother or father is wicked or “non-redeemable” – is not a Christian. Because really – how many Christians will repeatedly lie, and openly defy the central Commandment? If the truth is not in them – we know who they follow.
When dealing with deception, it is truly amazing how the deceivers will dominate, and take many of the truths in the Bible, then warp them to fit their deceptive narrative. It is amazing how bold they are in their lies.
All I can say, is don’t fall for it. Furthermore, if it were not for the grace of God, I would never have seen or found the way, the truth and the life. I would have been among the lost, the third of the fallen, and wallowed in the darkness of that deception and dominance.
We cannot save ourselves. We cannot figure it all out, until Christ returns and the veil is lifted, and the mysteries of God are revealed.
The eclipse is not the only sign we are getting closer to the end of the age. There are many signs. We do live in perilous times. But we also live in exciting, and incredible times. We are watching it unfold, and we can look forward to a time where all things will be renewed, restored, and healed.
Some people make a very distinctive division between the Old Testament and the New Testament. But we must keep in mind that Jesus was in God’s existence since the beginning. The Book of Revelation 22 verse 13 does describe Christ in the fullness of His existence:
“13 I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.”
Therefore the Book of Revelation is to be revered – not feared.
The Book of Isaiah 41 verse 10 tells us not to fear:
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
An ultrasonic jewelry cleaner may seem like a good idea, but it does not make sense to use it for all jewelry, or to use it indiscriminately.
It is kind of similar to those who make the assumption you can throw antique and vintage textiles in the washing machine. Some things have to be hand washed using delicate detergents, and some things cannot be washed at all. In most cases you must hang the items to dry. Do not use a dryer.
When it comes to vintage and antique jewelry, sometimes it is better to just wipe the item with a damp cloth.
Certain pieces can be washed in a mild soapy water solution. It is good practice to use a small make up brush to clean, and dust the nooks and crannies.
Q-tips work well if you want to clean the metal, but do not want to damage the stones. Most glass stones can be cleaned with a spritz of Windex, and then rinsed and dried carefully with a lint free cloth.
Some things can be cleaned with a mild sterling silver cleaner. Not all sterling silver cleaners are mild. Some are extremely harsh, so much so that the entire room becomes filled with the smell of chemicals.
The liquid silver cleaners seem to be the most caustic, while the paste cleaners are milder. I usually use “Twinkle Silver Polish Kit”, which is a mild paste, and easy to apply to specific areas with a Q-tip.
An example of a liquid silver cleaner that you dip the jewelry into, is called “Hagerty Instant Silver Clean”. Beware of this one, and anything else that is described as instant, quick and easy. This silver cleaner is harsh, smells very strong, and will ruin gemstones. It might also ruin other things, especially sterling silver that has blackened areas as part of the design, or a shadow box effect.
I digress, back to the ultrasonic machine. Only a few pieces that are not fragile, not old, do not have any loose stones, are very solid, well constructed, and have hard and resilient gemstones, can withstand an ultrasonic cleaner. Personally, I would not even use one at all, after seeing the damage they can do.
Not that long ago a business man who took over his father’s jewelry store in Vancouver, and had been in the business more than fifty years, told me he used a dilute solution of Mr. Clean on diamonds, and other hard gemstones. He did not use an ultrasonic cleaner.
Ultrasonic cleaners use high frequency vibrations and shock waves to disrupt the accumulated dirt and grime, thus washing it off the item. They usually have a combination of water, and some type of cleaning solution.
They work by creating microscopic bubbles that implode and produce agitation or shock waves that strips the oil and grime away. Many people will say this is an effective way to thoroughly clean antique and vintage jewelry, as it supposedly gets into the crevices that cannot otherwise be reached.
I disagree. I have seen many things come out of an ultrasonic cleaner that are not thoroughly cleaned at all. The main reason they are used, is because it is fast, and cleans things in bulk. Jewelry can be put in the ultrasonic cleaner, and left for a period of time, without being as time consuming as cleaning items by hand.
I have brought sterling silver items home that were cleaned in an ultrasonic cleaner, and then cleaned the item by hand, because the ultrasonic cleaner in my opinion, does not do a very good job.
In fact anything that is antique, fragile, or porous – especially amber, pearls, ivory, and coral – should never go near an ultrasonic cleaner. If you are unsure of what the item is made of, don’t throw it in there.
Softer gemstones, and all organic material should not be put in an ultrasonic cleaner. Onyx and tanzanite are also too soft and porous for such a cleaning method.
Also certain plated metals such as enamels, and antique cloisonne jewelry should not be cleaned ultrasonically. A good rule of thumb is – when in doubt, don’t do it. You cannot undo the damage it does.
The following is an example of a sterling silver Baltic amber ring that was put into an ultrasonic cleaner. I bought it because the seller just pulled it out of the machine, and I was curious to see what it would look like when photographed.
Baltic amber has a glow that comes from deep within. It is almost like sunlight is captured inside. It has a unique luminescence when placed in sunlight.
It also changes colour to a blue, white or yellowish green when placed under a blacklight. In fact it is one of the most fascinating things to examine and photograph.
When you examine this ring, you can see it has lost its’ intrinsic luminescence. As you can see by the reverse side of it, the ultrasonic cleaner did not even do a good job.
It would have been much better to use a Q-tip, and a mild silver cleaner on the silver portion, and then use a soft brush to clean the back of it. After that rinse off all the residual silver cleaner with plain water, and then dry and polish with a soft linen cloth.
If it had been cleaned by hand, without using the ultrasonic method, it would have a rich glow, and show off the bits of foliage, insect wings etc. that get trapped inside the tree resin. But alas, this one bites the dust.
First and foremost, there are many marketing and SEO experts who will promise you wildly successful numbers if you employ their services. Some of them go so far as to say they will put your website at the top of Google’s pages.
Others will give average website statistics that are way over stated, like saying the average site gets over 10,000 visitors a month.
When you create averages that include banks, Amazon, hotels, and various other high traffic websites, it will drive the averages up. But it does not accurately reflect the average traffic to small business websites. In fact, all those inflated numbers can be quite discouraging for the new small business web developers.
It stands to reason the size of an organization, the resources, and above all, the content of the website, will be key factors driving the amount of traffic to a website. Also, as with all things, it takes time to become established. It also depends on how much paid advertising you do, to drive traffic to your website.
To be honest and open, I have not used any paid advertisement at all, and rely solely on content creation.
In actual fact most SME’s are very low on the statistical ladder, compared to sites like Amazon, or any high traffic site used on a daily basis for banking, groceries, general household items, computers, etc. The following online information provides a more realistic viewpoint:
“Average Number of Visitors Per Month. On the lower end of the spectrum – 13% of local businesses receive fewer than 100 visitors to their sites each month, while 55% receive fewer than 500. On the higher end, 20% of businesses receive more than 1500 monthly visitors to their site, and 15% receive over 2500 visitors.”
Google analytics does the crawling and tracking of all websites, and for awhile I used G/A to track visitors. However given that a website requires time and attention in addition to analytics, I found the many layers and complexities of G/A to be a bit much.
From there I tried a couple of condensed G/A plug-ins that gave a minimal amount of information, such as number of unique visitors, organic visitors, and bounce rates. In each case those plug-ins did not last long and failed, so I had to delete them.
After that I started looking for alternatives, and found there are quite a few in the open source arena.
After quite a few years adapting to the learning curve in web development, I know I probably do not view things the same way many others do. But I have learned to be wary, or rather cautious when it comes to plug-ins.
That is why you do not see pop-up ads all over my website. When I visit websites, I find those to be annoying and intrusive, so I don’t use them.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people add plug-ins with graphics that jump up and down to get your attention. I won’t stay on a website for five seconds if there are jumping and moving parts. In my opinion, it is like a sales clerk who will not allow you to walk around the store just to browse.
I know countless marketing people would tell me otherwise, but the beauty of doing your own thing – can’t be downplayed either.
In fact I started to think of plug-ins as being like prescription drugs. They might offer a quick or simple solution, but some of them have severe side effects. Some are heavy, and cumbersome. Others have bad code. Some of them can crash your entire site. They have a systemic influence. They can interact with each other, and usually it is not in a good way. Some are not kept up to date, and so on.
In my opinion, the worst plug-ins are the ones that take over your admin panel with ads, and attempts to get you to add more, or get the pro version. Some of them even have those annoying jumping emoticons, making it impossible to ignore them. Those kinds of plug-ins, in my opinion, are intolerable.
In addition, similar to prescription drugs, there can be unintended interactions between plug-ins that create problems on your website. My philosophy is to use plug-ins sparingly, and delete them as soon as you see any issues.
The reason for this is that if you do have issues like internal server errors, you must go through a lot of layers of trouble shooting. This includes the server, the theme, the fonts, and every single plug-in.
As I started to look for a lightweight open source analytics option, I came across Plausible Analytics, which is an open source plug-in developed in the UK. It is by far the best analytics plug-in I have ever come across.
To add to the benefits, if you have any issues at all, the creators of this plug-in will respond, and help you out promptly. In my books, that is a huge plus, because you can interact directly with the people who built it from the ground up.
It enables you to put the numbers of visitors on the dashboard in the back end, or admin panel of your store. The dashboard analytics are lightweight, with clean code, and easy to figure out. It gives you just what you want to see, and not a plethora of complicated information that you can’t be bothered with.
The Plausible Analytics plug-in is one of the best plug-ins, and among the top three of all the plug-ins I have chosen to keep thus far, making it invaluable.
After using it for almost a year, it has not failed. It allows you to quickly see the number of visitors, make comparisons, view the countries and cities that are visiting your site, and look at what happens on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. The link below shows the comparison mode from one month to the next:
Knowing there are multiple different time zones when you have a global audience, it also lets you view what happened the previous day when you get up in the morning. The following link shows what happened yesterday March 6, 2024:
It shows you a long list of all the top pages being viewed. I have provided just the sample of what is at the top of the page as it is quite long:
In addition to showing you the top pages, it shows the countries, which can be broken down into cities and regions. It also shows the devices used, and the sources:
There is a simple drop down menu on the right hand side that allows you to choose what you want to look at or compare:
And finally at the bottom of the page, you can set up and view Custom Properties, which I have not done yet. The following link gives information about custom properties, and also lets you see the documentation available on this plug-in:
I would definitely give this plug-in a five star review. As far as I know, it does not have the free version, and a pro version, but rather charges a little over $100 a year up front. I find this to be much more palatable than having a constant advertisement to upgrade to the pro version.
The Plausible Analytics dashboard is something I use on a daily basis because it is akin to keeping a finger on the pulse of what is going on with your website.
A website is interactive, and the vibrancy comes from the visitors. Therefore, in addition to respecting their privacy, we can also get an overview or snapshot of the interest generated.
Therefore to all the visitors, and to Plausible Analytics, I owe a debt of gratitude. I would like to thank all those who have an interest in the culture and creativity of our past, and how it blends with the current times.
There are many things with universal interest and appeal. It is a pleasure to share a collection that represents the artistic endeavours, combined with the technical expertise, from a wide variety of people and regions throughout the world.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
String art is created by connecting string or yarn to hammered nails, in order to create an image through the use of angles, and geometric patterns. The most common scenes are abstract pop-art, or ships and sail boats, but there are many options in modern DIY kits.
The concept was first established by Mary Everest Boole in 1909. She was a British educator who came up with the idea to use angles, and curve stitching to teach mathematics. Based on geometry and algebra, this concept gave rise to the Bezier curve, which was first used in car designs.
Mary Everest Boole was a very intelligent woman who married mathematician George Boole. She was tutored in mathematics as a young girl, and continued her studies as an adult.
She used sewing cards and curve stitching, in addition to other physical representations of mathematical concepts, as a way to help children grasp the constructs, and have fun with learning mathematics.
She expanded her methods of representation through her book “Philosophy And Fun Of Algebra”. She explained algebra in creative and interesting ways, to include fables, with bits of history, along with various associations, and comparisons.
Her central idea was to introduce logic, math concepts, and creativity, to strengthen comprehension, conceptualization, and basic understanding – as opposed to limiting the educational value to equations, and memorization.
In later life she became involved in politics, and gave the name of a publication “The Crank” using an innovative double entendre, “because small rotations cause a revolution”.
Tied into these theories, the French mathematician Pierre Bezier was inspired by the algorithm created by fellow mathematician Paul de Castejau, who developed the curve formula. Pierre Bezier was working for a car manufacturing company at the time. He applied this idea to the design and manufacturing of cars, using the principles that can define any second degree curve using only four points.
The Bezier curve concept was made public in 1962, and initially was put forth purely as a mathematical concept.
The unintended 1960’s surge of stringing mathematics into art was a secondary outcome. The popularity of string art designs continued well into the 1970’s.
Recently I came across this delightful work of art depicting the clam digger. This piece is signed by the artist, and is from New Brunswick, the east coast of Canada. You will notice she has a bucket full of clams along with her trusty spade.
Many of the vintage string art finds are abstract circles and angles, or various different types of boats, and a few owls. There are very few remaining that depict cultural scenes of a given area. I did see one of a Native American Indian on a horse, and another of a mallard duck in flight.
At the end of this post I have included a sample of a string art sail boat on a black background. The string art boats seem to be the most common.
But so far, this is the only string art clam digger shown anywhere online. It is definitely a cultural representation of the Atlantic east coast. The artist signature on the back top left corner, appears to be Ginette Robichaud.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Of course there are unscrupulous individuals in politics, and in the health care system who promote this sick concept.
They would like nothing more than to have us all believe that once a person has a diagnosed mental illness, or admits to struggling with mental health – it is never cured. It is a permanent condition. They are sick and stigmatized for life. In my opinion, it is deceptive and manipulative nonsense. They (the powers that be) can prove nothing of the sort.
Of course they want to push the hypothesis – the mumbo jumbo of terminal and lethal psychobabble, because it is an industry that wants to increase the scope of both drug addiction and MAID.
Stay safe, but don’t stay sane, so we can kill you kindly. When and where have we heard that before? It echoes from Germany since 1939, and reverberates to the present time.
If a person breaks a leg, it heals, and they get up and walk again. If they get the stomach flu, they are not barfing for life. If they fall into a batch of poison life, the itch eventually goes away.
Many people have overcome addictions. If they overcome addiction, and go on to lead a productive life, they are no longer addicted. They are no longer sick. They do not have to wallow in it. They can walk away, and leave it behind. Dust off the dirt, and get back in the saddle.
Yes there is a process of healing, and it may take some time. You have to figure out what made you sick or addicted in the first place, and come to terms with certain things.
It requires a change of paradigm, including patterns of thinking, and habits of daily living. Basically it means establishing a new template, and a new perspective, or outlook for your own life.
You have to forgive others, and forgive yourself. Regardless of whose fault it is, it is unhealthy, and destructive to continue the addiction. It is the opposite of wellness, so it has to be abandoned in order to feel well.
We have been indoctrinated with certain belief systems, especially about mental health. We need to be protective of our minds to avoid further insults.
Personality disorders are the only mental health disorders that cannot be cured, because they are part of the intrinsic personality, and show up early in life.
However, personality disorders, although they may be in the DSM manual, and can be quite debilitating, they are not usually serious mental illnesses requiring hospitalization.
They often wreak havoc in families, but a person with a personality disorder can often hide some of the more antisocial aspects of the disorder while at work or in social settings. Those who are closest to them will get the brunt of it.
Otherwise, the vast majority of mental health struggles that people go through in life, are temporary. Let’s face it, life has many struggles. It does not mean we are all mentally ill, and it most certainly does not mean we are all mentally ill forever. Let it go.
You will notice the accusations of being mentally ill are most often directed at women, and seldom at rich and powerful men. There is a pecking order when it comes to being crazy.
A lot of gaslighting too. Enough gas to ignite some serious contemplation, and indignation in the thought processes of those whose minds are manipulated and meddled with.
With excessive gaslighting, comes self doubt. Once we doubt our own perceptions of the world around us, we are more likely to feel shame, admit fault, and go along with the mentally ill label. But does that mean a person never gets better? Or even that they were crazy to begin with? It’s as elusive as a shadow on the wall.
I went through an intense back and forth with a person in the comment section of the National Post today. It was based on an article written about MAID for the mentally ill. The man I was debating with claims to have advanced degrees in health care, and says he works in health care.
He also has very strong opinions about pushing MAID for all people, including the mentally ill. He calls anyone who disagrees “terminally selfish”. He is most pejorative about faith, and religious beliefs too. He mocks those beliefs with comments like “your imaginary friends in the sky are not going to help you.”
I find his frequent use of the language “terminally selfish” to be a very strange choice of words when debating MAID for the mentally ill. He uses the term to refute the opinions of others in almost every post he writes.
In my opinion, it is very faulty reasoning, because clearly – selfishness is not terminal. At least not yet, because in the end, come judgement day, a lot of very arrogant people will be doomed, which is not quite what this guy has in mind.
The topic was MAID for the mentally ill. Is he inferring that those who disagree with him are terminal, albeit terminally selfish – which is just inching, and itching – to suggest those who disagree with him are terminal too? They too, deserve the mad MAID remedy. Who has ever heard of being terminally selfish before?
He also adamantly claims mental illness cannot be cured, only managed, with the exception of situational depression.
Once a nut case – always a nut case. Deranged cannot be rearranged. It is like taking the radio apart when you are a kid, and having a few loose wires left over when you try to put it back together. It is shot, and will never play another tune. A head scratcher, and mind bender. Damn – what was I thinking?
Seriously? A person who had an eating disorder as a teen, is not mentally ill forever. A person who quits an addiction is not addicted forever. If you screwed up the radio, it is long gone by the time you grow up.
There are many different types of phobias. If someone is afraid of spiders, crowds, the dark, snakes, etc. does that mean they are terminally mentally ill with no chance of recovery? If a person has anxiety, are they incurable? Hardly.
People are highly adaptable. If they are afraid of spiders, they avoid them. If they don’t like crowds, they stay away from crowds. The clean freak cleans, and the talkative person talks, when they get anxious. So what?
We all have to learn to manage our emotions, whatever they may be. For those who refuse to accept boundaries, they will get into trouble, and hopefully learn something.
The whole idea behind the claims that mental illness is the only incurable human illness, is because the devil, or evil forces, or whatever you want to call it – wants to attack and mess with our minds. It is as simple as that.
They want to reform our thoughts, emotions, identity, and how we feel about ourselves. They want to dominate, control, and stifle dissent, surrounding our own lives, and boundaries. They want us to feel absolutely worthless – a useless eater.
Stand firm. Don’t let them mess with your mind. The Bible tells us to resist the devil. Gaslighting, and the intentional infliction of emotional abuse – is awful, and unlawful. So if you don’t believe in the devil, believe in the laws.
God does not try to control people. He does not force people into any relationships. In His abundant grace and wisdom, He gave us free will. He does not force us into a relationship with Him, even though he is the almighty God. Why? Because he knows free will is central to love.
Relationships are about love, not dominance, deception and control. When someone tries to rob us of our free will, through mocking, gaslighting, false accusations, bullying, control, or whatever – we know it is not from God. God through His word tells us to be meek, but He also tells us to resist the devil and his antics. We all have inherent free will for very good reasons. Attacks on the mind are an attempt to take away our free will.
Our soul consists of our mind, emotion, and will – free will to be exact. Attacks on our mind, emotions, and will, are attacks on our soul. Even though such attacks are seldom punished because they are not physical assaults, God knows those tactics very well, and knows how serious they are.
Anything that is soul destroying, or destructive to the human spirit, could potentially cause a person to give up on life, to give up in every way, to become embittered, and to reject God. To throw in the towel is an eternal decision. Therefore anyone who attacks another person’s soul is making a grave mistake.
Our battles on this earth are more spiritual than anything. There is far more going on in the spiritual realm than we are consciously aware of. We need discernment, wisdom and guidance.
The news media engages us in excessive fear mongering, not only to deceive us, but to keep us on edge, distracted, and filled with angst. It is by design that our world is rife with contradiction, deception, and cognitive dissonance.
They want us to be filled with confusion, constant worry and self doubt, as opposed to having confidence and faith. God is not the author of confusion.
The mental health field is a fairly new area of medicine, in that psychiatry was only defined as such in the mid 1800’s. Prior to that they believed lunacy, or madness was caused by demon possession. Since the dawn of psychiatry, the primary method to treat the diseases of the mind, is with drugs.
Other than the observation of behaviours, and the patient’s description of his or her symptoms, the mental health field has no definitive diagnostic criteria. They have a fat DSM manual, but it is hardly even credible, when you look at the source for all those made up disorders.
They do not base the diagnosis on lab results, ultrasound, X-rays, CT scans, MRI’s or any other diagnostic tests. No, nada. They do not have clear and definitive diagnostic criteria, so don’t let anyone railroad or bamboozle you.
Truthfully, they cannot prove what they claim. They do not know what is in another person’s mind or thoughts. We have around 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day. They cannot know them, or track them. It is a game of guess work and guinea pigs.
If a person goes to a psychiatrist for any reason, they will get some kind of mental health diagnosis. Even if they say “I am doing fine, eat well, sleep well, and have lots to look forward to”. They will get told they are delusional, or anxious, or seem a bit depressed. And out comes the prescription pad.
There is a mantra oft repeated, telling people to get help. But more than anything, people need to get stronger, and stop looking toward toxic drugs for a quick fix.
In addition, we have to change our expectations. No one feels good all of the time. If you go through the motions of staying stable, and look after your health, and life on a daily basis, you will get better.
People do need support systems, and help in a variety of ways, but most people who are struggling can find ways to get past it. We cannot deny the fact we are spiritual beings. Therefore neglecting our spiritual life, is likely to cause instability in our lives. We are grounded from the inside out.
I find the whole MAID issue in Canada to be alarming. Canada has rapidly become a world leader in MAID, with the laxest laws in the world surrounding it. We are now approaching the MAID deaths of around 60,000 people, and the numbers are growing exponentially.
The concept of opening MAID to the mentally ill, and mature minors makes my blood run cold. During the debate with the pro MAID man on the National Post today, he used arguments like “dying without dignity, wallowing in your own filth and body fluids, and the terror of your mind dying while you are still alive.”
First and foremost, one of the certainties in life – is death. People have been managing to die naturally since the beginning of humankind.
Some of the statements made by this person, imply that the health care system is seriously neglecting people. Otherwise, why would a health care worker say “dying people are left to wallow in their own filth, and body fluids”? He is basically saying, it is better to end their life, than to care for them, and frankly, I find it appalling.
We all need to buck up, and buckle up. Do not let anyone corner you into the mentally ill trap, because based on the direction things are going, they are going to use it as yet another excuse to get rid of people.
They sugar coat it with feigned compassion. But have you noticed how all these MAID zealots want MAID for everyone else but themselves?
I worked several years in mental health, and during that time I got to know many of the patients quite well. A percentage of them had spent years in Riverview, and were discharged to the streets, or to smaller community health facilities.
Of all the people who suffered long term mental illness, to the point of needing to be in a facility, they all wanted to live. One woman had severe mood swings, and when she got very distraught she wanted to “end it”, but once she got over the meltdown, she was back on track. They all participated in daily outings, and took an interest in what was going on around them. If they had stable routines, they remained stable.
They were on multiple medications of course, and had severe side effects from the medications. But it did not prevent them from interacting with others, and going on outings.
Some of them had chronic hallucinations, and the one thing I can say, is they often still had a sense of humour. In fact, the humour was probably the most delightful aspect of the job. Most of them loved humour. Some of them were highly intelligent, and astute.
In hindsight, the stories of each of those individuals and how they ended up in Riverview was very tragic. Many of them were sent there because of family conflicts. They were the black sheep rejects within a dysfunctional family dynamic.
There was a time, not that long ago, where a family member, and a doctor’s signature could get a person committed. For some, they were institutionalized, and they threw away the key. Years later, they threw them out on the street.
Psychiatry in its short history, is full of tragic stories. More people have been abused by this field of medicine than most people could even imagine. People were being experimented on in the cruelest ways, using electric shock, sleep deprivation, insulin shock, hypothermia, lobotomies, and all kinds of torture that went on into the 1970’s right here in Canada.
But let’s face it, the vast majority of people with mental health disorders are not institutionalized. People are admitted for short stays in acute care Psychiatric beds. There is an extreme shortage of beds and treatment centres.
We are at a tipping point. If we think some of these people, and yes I would call them the bigger nut cases, can get on their high horse, and start deciding which lives are worth preserving, and which ones are destined for the MAID heap, God help us. It is a slippery slope, and it is snowballing into the abyss.
We should all take a sober look at the countless people who struggled with their mental health, and still contributed a great deal to society. Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Abraham Lincoln, F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda, as well as great thinkers like Isaac Newton. Vincent Van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway, Ludwig van Beethoven, Leo Tolstoy, John Keats, Charles Dickens, and the list goes on. If you delve into it, you will find it is a very long list.
Yes we do need to take care of our mental health, and we can face astronomical hurdles. But as it is with any injury or illness, we also have the capacity to overcome most problems, and get well. Very few people are sick forever. The body, mind and spirit have remarkable abilities to recover from injury and trauma.
Sadly, just as some people die in accidents, or get illnesses they cannot overcome, it can also be that way with psychic injuries, or mental illness. Sometimes people do succumb to illness, meaning it can be any kind of illness or accident. We will never know why God allows some lives to be cut short.
We need to be proactive with our own mental health, and with our loved ones. We do not need to attach a lifelong sickness label onto anyone. It is destructive and unfair. Just like colds, flus, skinned knees, and broken bones, we get psychic injuries too.
Tips for maintaining mental health. This is in no way judgemental toward anyone. It is just what I have learned personally over the years. It took me many years to get to this point. For most of my life, I certainly did not practice all the points I have listed below myself. But I do now, because I have learned how important it is to be at peace.
Talk therapy can benefit people, especially if you find a competent and compassionate therapist without an agenda. For those without extended medical benefits, it can be costly. In addition a good friend, or peer counselling, or support groups might be of benefit.
Never underestimate the spiritual dimension, as much comfort and wisdom can be found in the Bible, and through prayer. Also for those who go to church, there might be counselling services available.
Set clear boundaries. If we allow ourselves to be a pushover, we will get pushed over and dominated. We all have a right to set boundaries on relationships, to not be forced into any relationship, especially if it is dishonest or abusive, and to have our boundaries respected.
Learn to appreciate being alone. Solitude can be very beneficial for healing. So many people think solitude is terrifying, or a sign you are antisocial. By all means some people withdraw and spend hours dwelling on violent video games or things that are very unhealthy. But if you use your solitude wisely, for edification, and to enjoy your time, you can benefit from it. We do not need to be validated by others. We need to figure out our own values, as well as how we might serve others. We all have different gifts and strengths.
Keep in mind that everything you ingest or put into you body, can and will affect your mood. This includes caffeine, sugar, nitrites, OTC medications, prescription medications, and all other drugs.
In addition, the gut biome is considered to be the second brain, and it is very important to have a healthy gut biome to regulate mood. Whole foods and the avoidance of fast foods and foods high in additives will help keep your gut healthy.
Learning and curiosity is a valuable mental health practice. Not only does it help with making wiser purchases, health decisions, etc. but it also helps our memory, and mental abilities.
Learning about technical advancements does not mean we have to be a full blown techie, but we do have to navigate online, and troubleshoot computer or phone glitches, as well as learn to protect ourselves from scams etc. It is becoming increasingly complicated, so we have to keep up or depend on someone else to help with it. Fortunately YouTube will walk you through most issues you come across.
Also as we get older, technical issues can be intimidating, but the more you do, the easier it is to figure things out. All learning helps boost our confidence and decision making. With the learning, we also have to develop a strong filter, so we don’t allow ourselves to get bombarded with information we are not interested in, or affected by useless advertising and propaganda.
Fresh air and exercise are right at the top of the wellness list, in conjunction with nature, and all of its beauty. Gardening is great. Birdwatching, cycling, hiking swimming, and anything outdoors that suits your fitness and lifestyle. Walking is probably the easiest thing to do on a regular basis.
Perhaps it seems paradoxical, but it is wise to overcome our fear of death. For believers, we know death is not permanent. If we can overcome the fear of death, we are not as easily manipulated into fear and anxiety by the media or the scary events going on in the world on a daily basis.
Overcoming the fear of death, while at the same time having value and gratitude for our lives, helps eradicate the MAID fears, and makes us less vulnerable to coercion, anxiety, and depression. MAID is supposed to be a personal choice. I can understand why some people choose to opt out of this world, if they are facing a drastic and deteriorating condition like ALS. But for myself personally, I would never choose MAID.
Tolerance and patience are difficult things to integrate into our daily living sometimes. But the more you practice them, the easier it gets. If someone else behaves badly, and carries on like a lunatic, we are not responsible for that behaviour. For those of us who are Christians, God has promised us he will sort such people out in due time.
As Christians we are advised to put on the full armour of God to protect ourselves. Those verses can be found in Ephesians 10:6-18. Personally, I have found this has really helped reduce fear and anxiety.
Never let anyone tell you that mental illness is incurable. They are trying to rob you of hope. No one should ever rob another person of hope. Keep in mind – Hope does not make us ashamed.
The Bible clearly tells us to expect tribulation, and not to lose hope. Look to where there is wisdom.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
For most of us, we have either been the one doing the manipulating, or on the receiving end of the manipulation. Often times we do not realize we are being manipulated at the time. It stems from an unhealthy family or workplace dynamic.
Once it becomes chronic, it becomes a pattern of behaviour that can be very destructive. The manipulator becomes very skilled at manipulating.
In big business and politics, it might be viewed as skilled stratagem. It might also be seen as manoeuvring outcomes, or social and political engineering.
Other descriptives are a little more pejorative. Like wheeler-dealer, underhanded, double-crossing, rigging, tricking, setting up, and exploitation.
There is an underlying arrogance based on perceived cleverness, and the sophistication behind the tactics. Also a master manipulator can get countless people to follow along with whatever he is engineering. In many ways he becomes a manipulator mentor as well.
In Psychology Today it is described as follows. I will post the link to the full article at the bottom of the post.
“Chronic manipulation often (but not always) emerges from a highly competitive environment, in which various parties (family members, classmates, coworkers, social groups, societal affiliations, economic interests) jockey for power, influence, resources, and advantage, and where one feels a lack of direct and abundant power/control over a situation. The manipulator, feeling a sense of deprivation, insufficiency, and disadvantage, or conversely craving for more power, influence, and advantage, resorts to cunning and underhandedness in order to attain what he or she desires. Over time, this type of behavior can become chronic and habitual, with inevitable destructive consequences.”
Paradoxically the behaviour stems from a place of powerlessness. It stands to reason that it has its origins in early and learned dysfunctional family dynamics.
A person who feels ignored by his parents, or rejected by his mother, might resort to getting attention in other ways.
Also when there is sibling rivalry, especially when a parent favours one child over another, the competition within the family dynamic can turn toxic.
Typically the one who is favoured gets beat by the one who is not favoured. Parents are not perfect, as we all can attest to. However there is probably no greater damage done to the sibling rivalry, and competition within a family, than when a parent favours one child over another.
If the older children, or the child who is not the favourite one, has had other supportive relationships to help offset the parental adoration of his sibling, it might help him overcome it.
Or if the age difference is large enough so the older child had enough attention in his/her formative years, it might not be as difficult to overcome the sense of unfairness, or perceived rejection.
In families with very limited resources, education, support systems, and wisdom among the adults around them, the dysfunctional dynamics can become ingrained, and even violent.
The outlook for the favoured one becomes very jaundiced, and the perceived fondness soon becomes a major disadvantage.
The difficulty for parents is that no two children are alike, therefore it is very difficult to treat them exactly the same.
Also it is impossible to know how things will be perceived by a child. Perhaps there is no overt favourtism at all, but they feel inadequate in some way. Or they compare themselves to a sibling who might do better in math, sports, school, music etc.
Siblings by nature compete with one another. And in the face of adversity, each one develops his or her own way of coping with the difficulties. In some cases it is a matter of survival. So each one learns what he or she has to do to survive.
Since manipulative behaviours are so common, there are no easy answers when it comes to developing the discernment to recognize and avoid the various pit falls and patterns
The link to the entire Psychology Today article is below:
The presence of PFC compounds in the Gore-Tex fabric, is the reason being given for the reduction in Gore-Tex products. In fact the company is claiming they are phasing out the traditional Gore-Tex line by the year 2025.
For those of us who live in a rainy climate, as well as those who are avid outdoors people, Gore-Tex is almost something we took for granted. Just ten or fifteen years ago, a decent Gore-Tex jacket was $200-$350, and after a few years, the style became outdated and it was time to upgrade.
But now, things are changing. For those who have a Gore-Tex Shakedry cycling jacket, they would be best to hang onto it, because they stopped making them altogether. All this began about a year ago, and we are about to see less Gore-Tex, and more alternatives like waxed cotton, and various other water resistant fabrics.
If you Google just about any brand of Gore-Tex jackets now, you will see a price tag of $600 or more. In some cases those jackets are not made to the same standard and ply that we saw in jackets fifteen or twenty years ago.
In addition to changes in the textile industry in many other areas, to include an increase in the cost of cotton, some companies are switching away from the Gore-Tex membrane, to various types of microporous polyurethane.
In my opinion, polyurethane is not likely to be breathable like Gore-Tex is, and waxed cotton is only going to last so long before you get soaked.
In addition, you will notice when you look up the Gore-Tex brand online, many are claiming to use recycled Gore-Tex, so I am not sure how that takes the offending PFC compounds out of the environment.
In the case of Gore-Tex boots, certain companies, like Patagonia who made excellent waterproof hiking boots ten or fifteen years ago for around $200, are now obsolete. They have since partnered with another company and sell their waterproof boots for over $600.
Patagonia has also partnered with Gore-Tex and Bionic to create a men’s jacket in 2023 called “StormShadow Parka” which is listed at $899 US.
One of the non Gore-Tex companies that makes great coats in my opinion, is the Swedish brand Fjallraven. The coats will not keep you dry in very wet weather, but are an excellent choice for the urban walker.
In addition to it being a nice looking textile, not too rugged, yet sort of city casual, in a waxed cotton blend – the coat is knee length, unbelted, and has a good hood. But the best part is the pockets. It has two zippered pockets on the outside, two zippered pockets on the inside, and even a large net pocket inside for an umbrella.
It means you can carry your phone in one pocket, your keys in another pocket so you don’t scratch your phone, and your wallet, credit cards, cash etc. in the inside pockets. Another good thing about it is the loose fitting design allows you to wear layers, or even a light down coat underneath it in colder weather.
Another company that sells some decent outdoor coats is Cabela’s. I have read that in recent years they have outsourced to the extent the product quality has tanked.
But in the past, they did make some good warm coats. There are still some quality Cabela coats floating around in the second hand market that are very warm, Gore-Tex, and still waterproof.
I noticed they have new women’s parkas listed on their website that range between $450-$800. Interesting to note, the more expensive one is nylon with goose down, not Gore-Tex. The other Cabela coat claims to have a waterproof shell, but no Gore-Tex. It looks like their Gore-Tex days may be over. Before we know it – vintage Gore-Tex will be the rage.
Companies that continue to sell Gore-Tex coats include Arcteryx, which are Made in China and have a price range $400-$1100. Mountain Equipment Co-Op has a few ranging in price from $400 – $800.
Roxy, Marmot, L.L Bean and Patagonia are still selling Gore-Tex jackets. However in some cases, it appears the technology has changed since some are described as recycled, and others say there is a bonded membrane onto nylon. Regardless the price point for anything listed as Gore-Tex is usually over $500.
One of Canada’s most renowned luxury brand coats is Canada Goose. They sell mostly down parkas for cold and snow, but they also sell rain shells. They sell a nice looking knee length women’s rain coat for around $800. It is very lightweight. They use a registered trademark technology called Tri-Durance, which they describe as a three layer bonded hardshell fabric crafted from 52% nylon, 25% polyurethane, 20% polyester and 3% spandex.
Although I know Canada Goose makes good parkas, I am not sure about the rain coats and how they compare with Gore-Tex. One thing I do not like about Canada Goose is that some of their coats have large lettering down one arm, and all of them have logo decals sewn onto the coat.
I realize many, or even most outdoor coats have some kind of branding, but for instance the Fjallraven logo is only about an inch wide. The Arcteryx also has fairly discreet logos. I think it is a mistake for Canada Goose to place such an excessive amount of branding on a coat, especially since it is known for being a very expensive brand. It seems a bit garish or gauche to have to advertise for the company while wearing a $1200 coat.
However the brand does hold its value, even in the second hand market. If you look on Poshmark, there are many used Canada Goose coats ranging in price from $300-$1200.
As with Gore-Tex coats, a similar price increase can be seen in Gore-Tex boots. They are becoming more expensive. If they change the technology to use nylon and polyurethane, I don’t think they would be allowed to advertise it as Gore-Tex. I guess that is why many companies are using recycled Gore-Tex now, so they can still use the branding.
The reason all of this even occurred to me, is because today I went out in the snow, puddles and slush, wearing a pair of Patagonia Gore-tex boots, with the traditional Vibram sole.
They are slip resistant, and are so comfortable. I put felt insoles in them, and it is like walking in bedroom slippers, without the slip.
Because the snow is now melting (thankfully), there were many deep puddles to navigate, so I had no choice but to walk right through them. The water was almost to the top of the boot in many places, but by the time I got home, my feet and socks were still bone dry. The Patagonia Gore-Tex hiking boots are the best I have ever owned.
So if you have a Gore-Tex coat or boots that you love, hang onto them, unless you don’t want them anymore of course.
But it is pretty clear that although Gore-Tex may not be completely phased out, it will be harder to find, and much more expensive than it was in the past.
Personally I do not see how recycled Gore-Tex can be that much more environmentally friendly than regular Gore-Tex.
When I see outdoor wear like fleece jackets with promotional tag lines like “We make good use of recycled garbage” or “This jacket is made of x number of recycled plastic bottles”, it doesn’t exactly give you the warm fuzzies. Next we will be seeing $800 coats that are made out of pampers.
Then they can create a legit slogan called “Pamper Yourself – we only had to use a dozen diapers to cover your cold wet butt!”
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Even though we might be told to view someone as a “wonderful Christian” – the Bible makes it very clear, there is no such person, with the exception of Christ.
There is not a single human being who has ever fit such a category, not even the Apostles. All of God’s servants are sanctified by grace, and even so, remain vulnerable to the temptations of sin.
None of the Apostles referred to each other or themselves, as being wonderful Christians. They remained humble, as they understood it was very important to avoid being arrogant. Pious religious superiority was a distinctive trait of the Pharisees, not the servants of Christ.
Romans 3:23 KJV states ” For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”
This truth is stated in multiple locations throughout the Bible. In fact, in the Book of Revelation, the seven churches addressed at the beginning of the book, are repeatedly told to repent.
This means all Christians are called upon to examine themselves, and repent. Repentance is not just for the unbelievers, but also for the believers. It is not only for those who do obviously sinful acts, but also for those who manipulate, deceive, exploit others, or have excessive pride.
When John the Baptist arrived on the scene, to preach the coming of Christ, his primary message to all people, was to repent. He suffered persecution and a horrific death, yet he was unwavering in his message. Prior to his death, he did not walk around claiming to be a wonderful Christian.
Therefore anyone who thinks they are a wonderful Christian, is filled with false pride, and the truth in not in them.
1 John 8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
Anyone who promotes someone else as being some kind of deity, or wonderful exalted Christian, is establishing a cult worship and following, not a Christian one.
How often do we hear pious Christians claim other people need to repent, yet they do not seem to think it applies to them?
If the wonderful Christian is out to manipulate and exploit people, of course the gullible are expected to view then as wonderful saints.
That is exactly how cults and cult leaders gain the trust of the followers. They place themselves on a pedestal, and can do no wrong. Yet they are little more than wolves in sheep’s clothing.
The reason for the clear Biblical instructions to repent, and to understand all people fall short of the glory of God, is to prevent people from worshipping themselves, or another person, instead of worshipping God.
If we are prone to worshipping man, we can easily be deceived and fall into cult practices. We are also less likely to do any serious self examination.
There are certain people who call themselves Christians, who I knew, listened to, and observed for many years. Yet I did not once hear them say they needed to repent.
They would not even apologize for blatant lies, exploitation and wrongdoing, no matter what. They were elitist and untouchable. Some of them believed they were above all, above the law, and as pure as the driven snow.
It is true that our sins are forgiven, if we repent, and truly believe in Christ, what he did for us on the cross, and his death and resurrection. It is the central promise of the gospel.
We are not forgiven because we are wonderful Christians but rather, because we have acknowledged the fact we are not wonderful Christians.
We are forgiven because we have recognized and admitted our sins. If so, we have genuine remorse, will confess, repent, and change our ways.
Most of all – we will understand forgiveness is granted by the grace of God. It has nothing to do with any Christian being wonderful.
Even the most gifted among God’s people committed grievous sins. King David, King Solomon, and Noah were not without sin.
We live in a secular world, where even the mention of sin brings a haughty response. How dare anyone call wrongdoing a sin! Even if it is a premeditated, willful violation of the law, and morality – it is often denied, referred to as a mistake, or attributed to mental illness.
If we become ensnared in the concept of elitism, riches, pride, self exaltation, and worshipping wolves in sheep’s clothing, how far is that from falling into the trap of worshipping the beast?
The Bible is full of warnings about deception, false pride and arrogance.
As Christians we are blessed when we are humbled. It sounds like a contradiction, and is often a painful experience. However pride brings disgrace, and humility brings wisdom.
Some people go through their entire lives full of false Christian arrogance. But sooner or later, they too will be humbled.
We are not better than other people. We do not serve the will of man, especially those who are prone to false pride and exploitation. They are not superior.
No matter how exalted, how rich, how full of arrogance a person is, they are delusional if they think this makes them special. Even the most well known Christians in the Bible understood they were not better than other people. They did not go out and preach self glory. They glorified God.
Although we are thankful for the help and encouragement of other people in our lives, we do not worship them, or view them as infallible.
In fact we are grateful to God, and no one has the right to tell us who or what to be grateful for. We might be grateful to a stranger who helped us lift a heavy object, or treated us with respect.
We might be grateful to the author of a good book we read. We might be grateful that we have enough food to eat, or can take a hot bath. As we age, we are grateful for our health and independence.
No one has the right to tell us what to be grateful for. No one can give us orders to be grateful for the health and well being of our children, and grandchildren. True gratitude does not rely on the orders of someone else. To each their own, when it comes to gratitude.
Even God does not give us orders regarding what, and who to be grateful for. True gratitude belongs to God.
Gratitude, like humility – comes from the heart. Just as it is with all things the Bible says about false pride, arrogance, and deception, it also tells us that only Christ knows our hearts, and true intentions.
Gratitude is a good practice, and helps to keep us humble. We live by faith, and faith is also something to be grateful for, as it gives us assurance and peace.
Other people, no matter how self exalted or powerful they are, do not get to dictate what we are to be grateful for.
The notion or claims of wonderful Christians, combined with orders to be grateful for those wonderful Christians, comes from a place of pride and cultish deception.
For their sake, we can only hope they will eventually be humbled, and repent. They are setting themselves up for failure. They are lying. Fictitious, and so-called wonderful Christians, are not the path to salvation.
Jesus said in John 14″6 “I am the way, and the truth, and the life”.
If people deny the truth, they will lose their way. They should take truth seriously. Deception and pride is not from God.
I do not intend to sound cynical about all Christians. Just as I have known some who are deceptive, cruel, shunning, and full of themselves, I have also known others who are just the opposite.
They were kind, empathic, humble, accepting, giving, warm, and loving. They demonstrated their Christianity in the way they treated others, showing the fruits of the Spirit.
In fact the Bible tells us in Mathew 7:20 KJV “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”
Galatian 5:22 KJV “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith.”
As much as I wish I had been more discerning throughout my life, and quicker to repent myself – I am grateful for knowing people who do have the fruits of the Spirit.
One of them was a neighbour on the farm where I grew up. Another was an elderly woman named Elsie, who I met in White Rock thirty some years ago. They were both incredibly kind, accepting, and full of love. I will always hold those women, and many other kind people, near and dear to my heart.
The kind neighbour on the farm who lived nearby, had a tremendous influence on my life. I always found her to be gentle, caring, kind, and loving. I would beg to tag along on visits to her house, so I could talk to her, ask her questions about God, and play with the lambs they had on their farm.
I still clearly remember when I was around three years old, she told me God does not allow a sparrow to fall to the ground, and that He even knows the number of hairs on my head, so He will take care of me.
I was so amazed at what she told me, it stuck with me forever. I marvelled at little birds, and people with thick curly hair, and wondered how God could know so much. I would even try to touch people’s hair, just to see how thick it was. But by the time I started school, I soon found out, they would get annoyed, so I left their hair alone.
Even though we have come across some real gems in our lifetime, we should still be aware – the fruits of the Spirit, are from God, not the person. God calls us according to His purpose, not ours.
We all grow up in a world with both the wheat and the tares. We would be wise to figure out ahead of time, which of the two we choose to be.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2024). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Plastic surgery is a steadily growing trend, for both men and women. Breast augmentation and liposuction seem to be the procedures that remain at the top of the list.
However, blepharoplasty, or the removal of excess skin from the eyelids, is right up there in popularity. In fact, it is one of the surgeries that can be a good thing. Other than improving appearance, it can also improve the vision, because the excess and sagging tissue around the eyes reduces the visual field. The cost is between $5000 and $7000.
The cost of breast augmentation varies among Provinces, but ranges between $10,000 and $15,000. Although we tend to think of it as a celebrity type obsession, it can be a blessing for those who have had mastectomies. On the downside, huge breasts might be considered an asset for some, but for the most part, those with smaller breasts are much better off.
Why? Because people with naturally smaller breasts are usually on the thinner side. They can do all sports without needing to wear wired hardware to support their breasts. They do not get nerve pain in their shoulders from bra straps. They are not limited in what kind of clothes they wear. And if they want to have a little more shape, they can wear a padded bra. So in my opinion, consider a B cup to be a blessing.
The other thing about breast augmentation to enlarge the breasts, is that they might look kind of strange on a sixty or seventy year old woman. When we are young, we do not project our age into the future. We seem to think we can lock it into our youth. But, that is not realistic.
Aging eventually ceases to be all about beauty, and becomes more about health, energy, comfort, and mobility.
Liposuction is also at the top of the high demand procedures. The cost varies depending on what part of the body the fat is removed from, ranging from $1500 to $7500, with the breasts being the most costly.
The total amount of fat that can be removed in a session, is reported to be between five and eight pounds. That is actually a hefty amount, to have sucked out of your body, in a matter of minutes.
Personally, I believe it is much better to go on a diet and lose weight naturally. Even though the surgery may seem simple, and minor, there is a significant disruption in nerve endings and fat distribution, that may or may not turn out well.
Rhinoplasty used to be at the top of the list, but is now surpassed by other procedures. The cost is up to around $10,000. For those who have had their nose broken, or a deviated septum, or a very large or hooked nose, it can make a big difference in appearance, and be worthwhile.
But it also carries the risk of a botched job. If the surgeon makes the nose too short, there is not much that can be done about it after the fact. Just look at pictures of Michael Jackson, to see what they did to his nose. All the money in the world cannot put your old nose back. In fact, when plastic surgery becomes a racket, it is almost like the Humpty Dumpty story.
Facelifts used to be more popular, but it seems botox, collagen fillers, and other wrinkle smoothing procedures, have reduced the popularity of facelifts. The problem with facelifts, is that for those with a high forehead, or thinning hair, the surgical scar is very evident, and requires a lot of makeup to cover.
Facelifts cost $7,500 – $10,000. In the right circumstances with a good outcome, and a strong natural hairline, the facelift can make a big difference. However, as it is with botox, the skin can seem tight, or unmoving, and take away the emotional expressions on a person’s face.
One thing I noticed while working as an RN, is that a person’s demeanour will often be etched into their expression. Those with a history of chronic depression, had a downward pull on their mouths, and a depressed, sad looking face.
Some looked very haggard, and even mean. Whereas others looked quite beautiful, with signs of age, but still had good skin, bright eyes, and a warm smile. So our demeanour is probably more important than any kind of plastic surgery in the long run.
A more recent, and rather bizarre trend is the Brazilian butt lift. This is probably one of the most dangerous surgeries of all. The cost varies, but starts at around $12,000, and is more likely to be $20,000. The procedure involves liposuction from certain areas of the body. After that the fat is purified somehow, and then injected into the buttocks. Not only is it expensive and high risk, but it is strange too. In my opinion, it is one of the surgeries to rethink and avoid.
Another high risk surgery is gastric stapling to prevent over eating. In some cases, the person becomes malnourished, or has constant gut problems, causing them to become very unhealthy. The deaths associated with this procedure are alarmingly high. In addition, the surgery itself does not address the crux of the problem, which is how food relates to the emotions, and can have addictive properties.
Abdominoplasty, often referred to as a tummy tuck, involves surgery to remove sagging skin from the lower abdomen. The objective in this surgery, is not so much to remove fat, but to remove the sagging skin after weight loss. The cost ranges between $10,000 and $15,000. In addition, because it involves cutting into the abdominal muscles, the post op period can be very painful.
And finally, there is the lip filling trend. This is another procedure that ends up looking very strange. It would probably be fine, if the filler or the lip contours had a very subtle boost. However, so many of them end up looking outrageous.
As with all things related to plastic surgery, some people tend to think more is better. There is a critical risk, versus benefit evaluation to be made. The risk is not only about money, or a waste of money, it is about your life.
If you lose money on any other purchase, you can get rid of it, and write it off as a bad idea, or a bad investment. But of all investments, a major mistake, pertaining to a high risk surgical procedure, can be a matter of life and death, or create long term, irreversible health problems.
It is not just a matter of making a mistake in judgement yourself. Once embarking on the surgical procedure, you are placing yourself in the hands of another person.
Therefore, you are potentially compounding the risk for error, because you are not in control of the procedure. The surgeon has to be credible, and the instruments, sterile field, and competency of the surgical team, are of utmost importance as well. They too, can make mistakes, or be shoddy in technique. Some of them talk a good game, but many are motivated by quick turnover, and high profits.
As far as going to a different country for cheap plastic surgery, you have to consider the worst case scenarios. If things go terribly awry, how will you get home? What health care coverage do you need, in order to get you the care you need, and to get you home? And how will you evaluate the credibility, and history of the plastic surgeon in a foreign country?
A few years ago, I watched a panel discussion where a group of people talked candidly about their plastic surgeries. One thing that was very notable, was many of them looked better in the before pictures, than in the after pictures. They robbed themselves of their own natural beauty. In addition, the more plastic surgeries a person had, the worse it got.
So the key takeaway on plastic surgery, is to quit while you are ahead. There is no such thing as perfection, and perception does not accurately project perfection. In fact, it is more likely to project insecurity, and unrealistic expectations.
There are certain cosmetic procedures that improve appearance, and can benefit a person. But at all costs, a person should avoid multiple cosmetic surgeries, and recognize the underlying emotional or mental health aspects of what drives a person to completely alter their natural appearance.
The other thing to consider when doing the research, is that almost every single site you google or look into, is actually promoting the surgery. They, like the pharmaceutical industry, will downplay the risks, and pad the benefits. So take it all with a grain of salt.
And finally, for those who are making the choice to get plastic surgery, seek out a good surgeon, and choose what you want to improve wisely. Aging is not preventable. Vanity is not worth all that much at the end of the day.
It is not to say improvements in appearance are a bad thing. In fact, there are good reasons for some of the cosmetic surgeries. It is not a matter of judging others, but rather, it is a matter of being able to objectively judge certain things about yourself.
For some reason though, people can get addicted to body altering. There are people who have upwards of $700,000 worth of surgical procedures. Many have died in the process. The outcome for a lot of them is garish, and overdone. They go to the extremes of having ribs removed, and injecting fillers into their cheeks that end up looking like tumours. Yet they cannot seem to quit.
In some ways it is like tattoos. It starts with one, and for some people, ends up covering the entire body. The skin is the bodies largest organ. We should always keep that in mind. Whatever is put onto the skin, is absorbed into the blood stream, and lymphatic system. It also impacts the hair follicles and sweat glands. Tattoos are not only skin deep. Some of the ink actually ends up in the lymph nodes, especially when there are large tattoos near the lymph nodes, such as in the neck.
In addition, we should keep in mind that we have facial nerves that are part of the cranial nerves, and brainstem. Therefore the face, and the skin, are very much part of the entire body. Changing appearance, could also affect the central nervous system, and vital organs. So it is not to be taken lightly.
If there is a body altering procedure that should be banned altogether, in my opinion, no one should ever even consider having their eyeballs tattooed. Most of us have not even heard of such a thing, but it is another trend to be wary of.
What is it exactly? The sclera, or white part of the eyes are tattooed. Some are tattooed black, some are green, and others are red or blue. In addition to looking demonic, it is a procedure that can never be reversed. The long term effects on vision, the optic nerves, and the brain, are unknown. So this one tops the list for being both dangerous, and ugly.
It makes me wonder if a person would cut off their ears, if they thought it looked cool.
The foremost thing to keep in mind when it comes to plastic surgery, and other body altering procedures, is limits, safety, and perception. Less is more, and surely dieting beats liposuction. It is much cheaper too.
When we think of appearance, and how we perceive ourselves, the inner person cannot be separated from the outer person. I think the biggest pitfall of the surgical alterations, is the inability to differentiate between the need for emotional healing, mental health therapies, and plastic surgery. Plastic surgery will not fix intrinsic insecurities. It becomes a futile quest, and is what makes the person end up looking bizarre.
Anyone who tries too hard to look perfect, might end up looking like the perfect bimbo. Or a zombie from outer space. It might be better to try to age with grace.
When you consider the number of missing people in British Columbia alone, it makes you realize venturing into the great outdoors, does carry a significant amount of risk. Of course, outdoor adventure is not the only reason people go missing, but it is one of the many contributors to such mysteries.
In Canada, British Columbia has the highest number of people who go missing, followed by Manitoba, and interestingly, Nunavut has the lowest number per capita. In BC the numbers are staggering at 258 per 100,000 people. Manitoba has 152 per 100,000 and Nunavut has just 5 per 100,000 people.
To gain some perspective on those numbers, the overdose death rate in BC is around 57 per 100,000 people. Heart attacks and strokes account for around 195 deaths per 100,000.
When a person goes missing with no contact or signs of activities of daily living, for a significant period of time, I think in most cases, they can be presumed dead. Even if a small handful of the missing are eventually found alive, it is still an alarming statistic in BC, that is often downplayed, or under reported.
There are many reasons people go missing, to include foul play, injuries, accidents, getting lost, mental illness, abductions, drownings, animal attacks, dementia, suicides, and a variety of unknown reasons.
Occasionally a person chooses to go missing, to establish a new identity in another location. However, that kind of missing person is a rarity, as it requires a significant amount of planning, and resources to execute such a plan. When people are alive, they need money, and money usually leaves a trail. So the person who runs away, must have access to a new identity, and money.
Those who study the missing person cases, have learned about risk factors. Things like hitch-hiking, drug and alcohol abuse, solo hikes, and vulnerabilities that cause people to become targets.
However, if we concentrate on the outdoor adventure missing persons, and leave the other suspicious cases to law enforcement, we can come up with some common denominators.
Rugged terrain, unpredictable weather, getting lost, taking a divergent route without notifying anyone, not leaving detailed travel plans, the inability to read a map, or use a compass, inadequate preparation for the conditions, bodies of water, and solo outings, all increase the risk associated with outdoor adventure.
When it comes to solo hiking trips, even the most experienced hiker is taking major risks. A slip and fall on icy slopes, or moss covered rocks, can end up being a death sentence. The wilderness is vast, and even with hundreds of volunteer searchers, they may never find a person who has fallen into a crevasse, or been swept away in a river.
We all do dumb things. I went hiking by myself many times, in locations where there was no cell phone coverage. If I would have needed help for any reason, it would have been a matter of fate.
During the time I lived on Haida Gwaii, it could take hours to get an ambulance or helicopter to a distress call, even if the person had a satellite phone. Then, it took many more hours to get the injured person stabilized, and on a medevac flight to a hospital in Vancouver.
Therefore outdoor adventure in very remote locations, is probably more dangerous than most people realize.
Recently I watched a show on Outdoor Disasters that described a backpacking trip in the mountains of Wyoming, taken by a 48 year old pastor. He frequently went on solo hiking trips, and in this particular case, it was to be a nine day trek. He was physically fit, confident, and experienced in the outdoors. He also took his dog with him.
However, he ended up changing his planned route, and midway into the hike, he stepped on a large boulder, which was unstable so he quickly jumped to the next one, and ended up getting his legs pinned between the boulders. During the days he was stuck there, he wrote a fairly detailed journal.
The fact he was missing was not discovered until he failed to show up to meet his family at a designated meeting place, after the nine day trip. When he failed to show up, his wife notified the authorities and the searches began.
The searchers had no way of knowing he had changed his route, and the search area was rugged and vast, so they had no luck in finding him. Plus unbeknownst to them, he had already been trapped for days before the search even began.
Eventually the search was called off. But incredibly after all that time, his dog was found.
Weeks later, a hiker who happened to be hiking in the area of his accident, came upon his body, and knew immediately that it must be the missing pastor, as there had been many flyers, and notifications posted after he went missing.
Even though he died before help arrived, thankfully for his family, he was found, and due to the journal writings, they knew what had happened. They also knew his state of mind, and saw the messages of love, and apologies he wrote to his loved ones, which was a real blessing.
In so many missing person cases, the family never knows what happened to their loved one. They can never stop wondering, and often agonize over the imagined plight, or terrors they may have experienced. They are left in a state of limbo, sometimes refusing to give up hope that they may be found alive.
Many of the family members who go through such an ordeal will claim that not knowing, is more excruciating than knowing what happened. Even though they still have to face the grieving, they are relieved, and can plan a funeral or burial.
Accidents do happen, and people die in accidents more often in urban locations, than in remote locations because of traffic accidents, and other hazards.
In some ways, all we can surmise, is that we all have an appointment with death. But we don’t have the date or time, written in any appointment calendar.
But in hindsight, I do believe that a person who is going on solo hiking, or any outdoor adventure trips, should always take a locater beacon with a satellite positioning feature, and the ability to make an SOS call.
The personal locator beacons now cost around $500.00. When you consider the loss of life, or limb, as well as the hours and days of helplessness the poor person has to endure, it is a very worthwhile investment. It is more valuable than any other insurance plan you can purchase. And like all the various insurances we purchase, we never give it a second thought, unless we need it. We can go years without ever making an insurance claim, but would not want to be without it, if something did happen.
Also, when you consider all the hours of searching, to include, planes, helicopters, and ground searches, often placing the search and rescue teams, and volunteers in peril, it is a small investment to make.
Freedom is what it is, with an immeasurable value to the human psyche. The freedom to experience the profound beauty, and expanse of the great outdoors, has no comparisons. It is understandable why people choose to seek solitude in nature’s beauty.
But when creating the bucket list of outdoor adventures, and all the things you will need, when planning a trip, the locator beacon should be right up there with water and food.
It is a small price to pay, if you really do slip up, and end up in a bind.
It brings to mind a whole set of questions surrounding the rapidly developing world of AI. I was wondering if an Apple air tag would do the trick. But apparently you have to be near another Apple device for it to work.
I also wonder if maybe he could have put an air tag on his dog? How far away does the other Apple device have to be, in order for it to work, to locate someone or something that is missing? Apparently they can work from thousands of miles away, but only if there are signals near by from other Bluetooth devices.
They are not intended to be used to find people, but it might not be a bad idea, to add a couple of those to your “how to find me” if I ever get lost insurance plans. After all, a person is far more important than lost luggage, or a lost iPad.
This is just an opinion, and is not based on any real familiarity or experience with OnlyFans, or even Instagram, and other visible online platforms, so please take it with a grain of salt.
The main attraction for the entertainer who is using a platform like OnlyFans, seems to be the growing online popularity of exhibitionism, stripping, fetishes, and various niche market sex promotion, so the really popular models and performers make a lot of money. In fact, many of them claim the money is downright addictive. I watched some of them being interviewed on a YouTube site called “Soft White Underbelly”.
It might be safer in some ways to work online, although it still does carry risks of attracting creepy online stalkers. But overall, it is better than getting in a car with some random stranger. It also probably beats strip clubs, and/or being controlled by a pimp.
The key thing about all, and any type of sex work, is that it puts young females at risk. In addition, if it involves anyone who is underage, it is illegal in most countries, and can get people who use the sites, placed on a sex offender’s list, if they are not careful to avoid underage imagery.
The perusers of any site with underage girls, could be busted for having child pornography, and if they have a career, it is ruined. Some teenage girls look older than they really are. So there is risk for all those who enter this domain, and other similar websites. I suppose the platform itself must carry some kind of legal obligation to prevent the exploitation of young girls. One would hope so.
By the looks of things, nothing is going to stop the growth and popularity of such a site. Therefore young girls should be educated about it, not lured into it, under the guise of modelling or dancing.
Ask any parent, and they will tell you that once a young person becomes an adult, they are still vulnerable, and naive. Even though a person turns eighteen or nineteen, that does not mean they have a full range of life’s experiences, lessons, or wisdom under their belt. Some are more cautious by nature than others. And others take more time to mature.
In my opinion, anyone who becomes a performer or model on the platform, should find out what the copyright laws are, who owns the imagery, and how the imagery can be used. For all I know, these parameters already exist. But they are very important parameters to establish and know about up front.
If someone poses, or does naked videos or performances on OnlyFans, or any Internet site, she is exposing herself to a lifetime of potential issues, that could include usage without permission, blackmailing etc.
We all do things in our youth that we might end up regretting, or want to put behind us. If a person uses such a platform, and then quits, gets a University degree, establishes a different career, gets married, and becomes a soccer mom – she may not want to be haunted by her own naked past.
I recall a story about a woman who was victimized, in a situation totally unrelated to her youth. But at some point in her youth, she had been a stripper. It was not online, or recorded, or anything, just a brief and short-lived job.
Apparently she was broke, jobless, and had stripped a handful of times in some random club, to make some quick money. At the time she thought it was no big deal. It did end up being a big deal, and tainted her reputation, as well as the outcome of her case, even though she thought she had put it behind her.
Many people believe the stigma surrounding sex work should not exist. Some people believe it should be legalized. Regardless of whether our beliefs are liberal, or prudish, the issue is one of protecting young girls from mistakes that might follow them, when they choose to leave the lifestyle behind. Or to help provide some foresight, before they choose to do it at all.
Glamour and fame is a high stakes game. It seems to take off like a whirlwind, but the vortex is too much for some people. There is no way a person can pace it all, and handle is with finesse. In some cases, it leads to tragedy.
There are countless Instagram models who have fallen to their death, become lost and frozen, been electrocuted, run over, or murdered, just for a glam photoshoot.
In Taiwan, there was a young woman who hiked mountains by herself, with an additional thirty pounds of camera gear, in order to photograph herself naked, or in a skimpy bikini, once she reached the summit.
You have to admit, it is quite a feat. She carried far more on her back, than was recommended for her thin frame. Sure enough, she ended up falling to her death. Sadly it took several hours, or it might have been several days, for her to die.
She was in a deep crevasse, and was able to contact help, but it took a long time for them to get to her. By the time they did find her, it was too late. She had multiple injuries, and suffered terribly. She probably faced many regrets in the hours before her death.
Another young Instagram model who was visiting Vancouver, decided to take a quick hike up one of the mountains on a beautiful sunny day, to take some photos for her followers.
She was not properly dressed for the weather conditions, went by herself, and did not know the mountain, or what she was getting herself into at all. It was also an area with avalanches, icy patches, sudden changes in wind and weather, and poorly marked trails. Plus it was wintertime, with short daylight hours.
In one photo, taken midday, she was beaming and full of life, with a beautiful and scenic backdrop. Within a couple of hours after that shot, she was lost, and in despair. She died of hypothermia before she was found.
The only lessons we can learn from all of this, is that Internet, Instagram, and OnlyFans type of attention, is almost like gold fever. People will set aside their better judgement, to get the perfect shot. This is happening to intelligent, energetic, dynamic young people who are driven to succeed.
Vanity is short-lived. It is like the trickster crow. Our own vanity will pull the wool over our eyes, faster than we can blink an eye.
So many of the lives lost, or exploited through these futile endeavours, are beautiful and creative young people, who are in the prime of their lives.
If only we could retrace our steps, and blot out our mistakes, or the things we wish we had not done. For some of us, we squeak past the perils, or lived in the age when selfies, and glamour poses were not such a big thing. Sometimes being unattractive is a blessing.
In spite of it all – glamorous and beautiful people still have insecurities. In fact, the more Instagram, and glamour photos a young woman does, the more insecure she is. It is a real conundrum.
It seems like it might be a better idea to focus less on image, and more on just doing things for fun, wholesome competition, and learning about your strengths, interests, gifts and what not.
I’m not sure what the answers are to all of the online imagery. But for anyone who does get involved in the online world of being filmed as a sex worker, I think it would be a good idea to have some legal parameters established upfront, in order to restrict the usage, and protect the person once they leave the platform.
I hope the Internet can be tamed, because vanity, impulsiveness, and the lure of quick money, cannot be subdued. Human nature cannot be bridled.
Ultimately, where does vanity go? I think the answer is – nowhere. It is the great gate to nowhere.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Some things people do will never be forgotten, especially if they are filmed and seen by millions of viewers. The Wrecking Ball show that Miley Cyrus did in 2013 was one of her most controversial acts, so much so, that it garnered a public outcry.
In the music video she swings naked from a large wrecking ball, and licks a sledgehammer, as she sings her song, in some parts, with sad looking eyes, and tears streaming down her face. She is definitely an actress.
But what did it mean? Apparently it was a metaphorical act to illustrate how she was knocking down the walls of an unsafe relationship. It was an exhibitionist portrayal of her broken heart, (and broken art).
In later years, she claimed none of it was her idea. The video faced a great deal of criticism, and was not accepted as being the least bit appropriate for a young teenage girl audience.
The point people were trying to make by being critical of her act, is not a matter of being judgemental. It is based on protecting young girls.
Teenage girls who do end up in the sex industry, are often lured into it at a very young age. Many come from broken homes, and a high percentage of them end up supporting a drug habit. For most of them, the glamorization of using raw sexuality to make money, leads to exploitation and despair.
We have to realize the majority of teenage girls who are lured into the sex industry, are not the wealthy children of a famous musician. They are not Disney land child stars. They have not had a chance to establish a career, or get an education. Therefore anyone who is in the position of being a role model, should keep those things in mind.
It was not the first time she received a backlash for her risque performances. In another show, she sang while perched on an ice cream cart, holding onto, and dancing around what looked like a stripper’s pole. She defended herself by saying the pole was used for stability, not to create the image of a stripper.
She also faced significant criticism for twerking, or gyrating and thrusting, in a highly sexualized manner with Robin Thicke during an MTM Music Video Award. Sometime after that performance, she expressed guilt and shame for what she had done.
Miley Cyrus is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, who is a famous country and western musician. Ironically, one of his most famous songs is “Achy Breaky Heart”.
One can be reasonably sure that if someone came along and did a highly sexualized, or any alternative version of Achy Breaky Heart – it would go over like a lead balloon. There is little doubt Billy Ray Cyrus would protect his own art, from being altered or exploited, or having the title used for some other musical production.
Perhaps that song was a foreshadowing of the Wrecking Ball mirage, which was done by his daughter, over her own achy breaky heart.
Would Miley Cyrus do a sexualized mockery or parody of any of Dolly Parton’s albums? Not a chance. Dolly Parton is her fairy godmother. Plus Dolly Parton would never allow anyone to use her material, including song titles, and album titles.
For certain, both Dolly Parton and Billy Ray Cyrus are well aware of the fame, and talent attributed to Emmylou Harris over the years. In fact, she is unprecedented in her vocal skills, and the range of artists she has been able to work with, for several decades.
For those of us who have been around awhile, the whole Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball concept is not the least bit original. Neil Young recorded the song Wrecking Ball, in 1989 in the album Freedom.
In 1995 Emmylou Harris teamed up with Daniel Lanois and recorded the album “Wrecking Ball”. Other artists included in this exceptionally artistic musical works included guest performances by Steve Earl, Neil Young, Larry Mullen Jr., Kate & Anna McGarrigle, and Lucinda Williams.
The Emmylou Harris Wrecking Ball album won a Grammy Award in 1996, and to this day is considered to be one of the most eclectic, and atmospheric recordings of all time.
The question in my mind, is why would people who are well versed in the industry, Billy Ray Cyrus and Dolly Parton, endorse or support such a tacky overture on the Wrecking Ball song, and album title originally done by Emmylou Harris and Neil Young?
You would think they would have steered Miley Cyrus away from such a glaring faux pas, involving her own career. Not only was the entire production tacky, but it was an exploitation of the album title of a much superior work of musical talent.
The moral of this story? Real talent has no regrets.
In my opinion, musicians with genuine talent, do not have to resort to taking their clothes off for attention. In fact, as Miley Cyrus has demonstrated, such short-sighted actions lead to criticism, shame and remorse.
There is no doubt that nakedness draws attention. It does not mean the act has musical or artistic merit. It just means there is wide spread attention when a woman takes her clothes off in public.
One of the most rapidly trending online entertainment sites, which started in England, is called OnlyFans. Apparently the website features and promotes sex workers, sexually explicit entertainers, strippers, pornography, and all kinds of show business in the sex promotion industry.
So where is the line drawn between sites like OnlyFans, and musical entertainers like Miley Cyrus who felt it was a good idea to strip down, and swing naked on a wrecking ball, to prove a point of some kind?
I believe that if a performer has to do music videos that involve nakedness, and twerking, one has to question where the talent is, and where such performances belong.
The real Wrecking Ball song, album, and concept belongs to the much classier and more original version done by EmmyLou Harris and Neil Young.
Few things in this world are truly original. And few things are worse than debasing, and rehashing what was exceptional, and top-notch, talented, musical recordings – long before Miley Cyrus came along, and took a wrecking ball to the concept of class and originality in music.
There is a line that should not be crossed. Either record music without getting naked, and licking a sledgehammer. Or go join OnlyFans, and stick to the genre of entertainment where you belong.
Artists like EmmyLou Harris, Neil Young, Steve Earl, Gillian Welch, and many other exceptional musicians, would not be caught dead doing outrageous attention seeking stripper acts. All of them have weathered decades long careers without resorting to stripping, twerking, and licking sledgehammers.
I realize some people like sensationalism, and to each his own.
But let’s be clear – a much more artistic version of Wrecking Ball preceded the Miley Cyrus version. And she most certainly undermined, and degraded the beauty, the artistic merit, and title of someone else’s idea, and musical production.
Unfortunately, some bad actors cannot be unseen. Uncouth copycat art, gets worse with every ostentatious, cheap, and garish reproduction.
Those who opt to do outlandish and sexually charged acts for attention, must also realize, they are bound to get plenty of criticism, especially if they are targeting an audience that is not age appropriate, or if they are in the wrong lane, so to speak. If they lash out at their critics, it only makes them look worse.
I also believe the copyright act should be strictly enforced, to prevent the exploitation, and mockery of original works of art. True art deserves respect and protection. Therefore, copycat art should be promptly filtered out.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Not to suggest that Canada, and every other country, is not rife with heartbreaking true crime stories, but some are just more notable than others. Even though this story is not a current story, as it happened more than thirty years ago, it is worth retelling since the killers are now out of jail.
This story is about a heartless crime toward a man who had become a successful, and renowned heart transplant surgeon in Australia.
Dr. Chang was an Australian transplant surgeon who was murdered in 1991 in a failed extortion, kidnapping attempt. He was on his way to work a the time, and had a patient waiting for a heart transplant when he was killed.
He was born in Shanghai China, and after his mother died of cancer when he was just twelve years old, he chose a career in medicine. His father sent him to school in Australia where he believed his gifted young son would have better educational and career choices.
As it turned out, he became a skilled, and accomplished transplant surgeon, rising to fame after a successful transplant on a fourteen year old girl in 1984. She desperately needed a transplant following a viral tonsillitis that infected her heart. Two years after the first transplant, the initial surgery failed, and she was required to go through a second heart transplant in 1986.
After the second transplant, she went on to lead a healthy life, and became the longest surviving transplant patient on record in Australia. She also became a tireless advocate for the work of Dr Chang and his team.
As a matter of interest, one of the longest surviving heart transplant patients globally, is from Canada. His name is Harold Sokyrka, and his transplant was carried out in 1986 in Ontario. He lived just one week short of thirty-five years following the transplant.
It took several years for the pioneers of this surgery to achieve success. The first heart transplant was performed in 1967 on a 53 year old patient in South Africa. He died of complications just eighteen days later.
At the time of his death, Dr. Chang and his team had performed 266 heart transplants during his career. His accomplishments were awe-inspiring, and even so, at that juncture of his life, he was at the top of his game. He would have performed many more heart transplant surgeries, if his life had not been cut short. He had a healthy stable family life, and was known to be a compassionate man.
He had no way of knowing he had been targeted. He was a man of routine, taking the same route to work each day. He had a wife, and three children, who were all at home, at the time of his murder.
The preposterous nature of the crime shocked Australia, and the world. Because he was targeted by Asian men, initially it was believed to have been gang related.
Rumours also circulated that perhaps he was targeted by Chinese authorities, because of his pro-democracy political leanings. But these theories proved to be unfounded.
The crux of the plot stemmed from initially three, then two Malaysian men who had racked up huge gambling debts. So they concocted a scheme to extort money from a rich and famous person, in order to pay off their gambling debts.
The majority of murder victims are killed by someone they know. This case falls into the random stranger attack category, which is always much more disturbing to the general public, as it makes people feel very vulnerable. There is a loss of security for all people, because if it can happen to a person who is simply on their way to work, it can happen to anyone.
In this case, Dr. Chang was well known, which put him in the crosshairs of deranged killers. It was a money making scheme they focused on for many weeks, yet the murder ended up being a hair brained impulsive act.
They saw an article about Dr. Chang while thumbing through a magazine, and randomly chose him as a target. It was as amateur, stupid, and ill-conceived as can be. Yet it cost this poor man his life.
Following the magazine selection, they watched him closely for weeks on end, to determine where he lived, and what his routines were. On the morning of the murder, they followed him on his way to work, and rammed his vehicle, staging a car accident, which forced him to pull off the freeway, and get out to talk to the men.
It did not take long for Dr. Chang to realize it was an extortion plot. The men demanded ten million dollars. He refused. They told him they were going to take him back to his house, and kill his family.
Dr. Chang was not going to allow these thugs to get near his family. He started calling out to people who were passing by to “Call the police, these men have guns”. One of the people walking by, came close to being shot as well. He managed to run away just seconds before Dr. Chang was shot.
When the Malaysian men could not gain the good doctor’s cooperation, one of them promptly shot him in the head, point blank.
If they would have left at that point, he would still be alive, because the first shot was not fatal, even though it knocked him out. Unfortunately, the crazy criminal shot him again.
Remarkably, the killer dropped his wallet at the crime scene, with all kinds of evidence in it. The police were able to identify him, track him down, and soon after, his accomplice was also captured, even though he had left the country.
Given the fact these men were gamblers, one can see the patterns of high risk and impulsive behaviours, with little chance of succeeding.
There was also unbridled greed, considering they demanded ten million dollars. They set themselves up for failure, and killed a man for no reason. They gained nothing but a lengthy prison sentence.
Both men were charged, and sentenced to around 25 years in jail. They have since been paroled, and were promptly deported.
One of the men convicted of this crime, was already in advanced stages of Parkinson’s disease by the time of his release. Although it is probably of little consolation to the family, he made a heart-felt plea for forgiveness, expressing profound remorse.
Dr. Chang’s legacy lives on, through his family, as well as his lengthy career. Millions of dollars have been raised to continue the work he embarked upon. He was given prestigious awards, and will certainly never be forgotten by his patients, and their families.
In one of the final interviews he gave, he prophetically said, “Life is not certain for any of these people.” After a brief pause, he said to the interviewer, with a serious and thoughtful expression on his face, “And it is not certain for you and I either”.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Many countries do have laws surrounding hallmarking of sterling silver. For instance, in the UK a law was passed in 1973 making it illegal to call items sterling silver unless they are hallmarked. In some countries, the hallmarking is overseen by a national assayer’s office.
The UK and Ireland have among the most sophisticated and long term systems surrounding the silver hallmarking. In addition to the silver purity, there is often a symbol as well.
France has also been legally hallmarking silver since the 1800’s, and have a grading system to identify the standards such as 950, 925, and 800 silver. They also use symbols, the head of Mercury, and the shape of a lozenge, which is a diamond shape, but can also be a thin rhombus shape.
In the US the assay marks were not fixed like they were in Europe. Baltimore was one of the first to implement hallmarks in the early to mid 1800’s. In the absence of specific regulations surrounding hallmarking, several companies like Tiffany & Co., Gorham, and International Silver Co., adopted their own systems of marking and symbols.
Canada does not have any mandatory laws to hallmark silver and gold. However most jewelry makers will stamp their products with the purity of the metal, as well as with maker’s initials, in order to confirm their value. There are many exceptional pieces of Aboriginal carved artisan jewelry, in silver and gold, that are made without hallmarks.
Birks is one of Canada’s earliest known companies to hallmark sterling silver starting in 1879. Some of the earlier items are marked H.B & Co. Later the mark became Birks, or a B logo, and sometimes had a lion symbol as well. Some of the items are simply marked Birks Sterling.
In the late 1800’s and early 1900’s Hungary adopted a complex system of marking both gold and silver. They used the symbol of a crescent moon crowned by the head of the ancient Greek heroine Diana. In addition, the way the head was framed indicates the purity.
Japan adopted a symbol of the Japanese flag as a silver hallmark in 1929.
The hallmarking of Mexican sterling silver is also very complex, and dates back to 1946 when the Eagle system was used, but proved to be inefficient. By 1979 they developed a letter-number hallmarking system.
China also stamped their sterling silver for export, often with symbols similar to the European symbols. In the more modern jewelry, you will often see 925 China on the items.
India does not have mandatory laws surrounding silver hallmarks. However people can make a request to have it stamped, in which case it is taken to the assayer’s office for testing. If it meets the regulatory standards, it will then be stamped.
Pieces from Thailand will often be marked 925 Thai.
All 925 silver should be of the same quality, at least one would think so, because the purity has been established. However, different alloys are used, which can change the sheen, durability, tarnishing etc.
In spite of all the more recent developments in hallmarking, the actual stamping and marking of precious metals began as early as 1300 A.D when Edward 1 King of England proclaimed that all silver must be tested, and stamped.
During Biblical times sterling silver was represented by sheaves of wheat symbols. A shekel of silver was a coin weighing about a half an ounce. It is estimated the value would have been equivalent to two or three days labour. Silver was used the same as money, and often land was purchased with silver.
The topic of silver hallmarking, and all the various symbols is vast, with Encyclopedias of silver marks from many locations throughout the world.
My thoughts on the topic, are to stick to what is hallmarked. However, as with all things, there are a few cases where the item is sterling silver but is not marked. In the case of pendant necklaces, sometimes just the original chain is marked, and if the two get separated, the pendant might not have a hallmark.
The separation of jewelry pieces in a set can lead to unsigned pieces. This can also happen with vintage costume jewelry, because sometimes only one or two of the items in a set are signed.
The same thing can occur with earrings. Sometimes only one earring is hallmarked, therefore some of the single earrings floating around, are sterling silver, but are not stamped.
Occasionally the sterling silver mark or maker’s mark is placed on a hang tag, that later becomes lost, or is removed.
Sterling silver and gold can be tested using a slate pad, and nitric acid. The drawbacks are that the chemicals are very toxic, and must be used with great care. In addition, at the end of the day, the buyer only has the seller’s word for it anyway.
Therefore, sterling silver that is not hallmarked is likely to be sold at a lesser value, simply because whoever makes the purchase has the same problem of authenticating it, if they try to resell it.
Over time, if the price of silver happens to increase in value, there will be a melt value for all that tests positive, similar to what it is for gold today.
But for now, most of the silver value is in the workmanship, artistry, and gemstones used by the various silversmiths over the years.
Like all things that are vintage and antique, the artistry of the silversmiths from throughout the world, is of cultural and historical importance. Therefore to see all that labour, artistry, and archival representation of their creations, go into a melting pot, would be kind of sad.
As far as dating jewelry is concerned, there is some good information on the Internet to help with this, and also some information that is false or mistaken.
Recently I read that the roll over clasp on pins was not used before the 1960’s, which I know is is not true. There are certain rollover clasp styles that were used on pins, and brooches since the late 1920’s and 1930’s.
Over time, many people have had the attitude to toss what is old, and go for what is new, and presumed to be improved. However, creativity is not new.
Plus the cost of labour, and materials, has increased exponentially in all countries over the years. Therefore, the new is not made with the same standards, time, attention to detail, etc. because anything that is labour intensive, will cost much more.
In addition, all products must go through several layers of mark-ups before reaching the consumer. There are price increases from the manufacturing and materials, to the distribution and marketing.
All the steps incurred to get the product in front of the consumer, or public, requires time and money. Therefore each of those steps increases the cost of the goods.
If we are honest with ourselves, few things are truly original. Almost all designs have been made in some capacity or another, somewhere along the line. Innovation is a rather elusive concept. Things have to be captured and nailed down, in order to become tangible.
I believe the photography does help contribute to the knowledge base of design and hallmarks, even though it may not be perfect.
In addition, many of the designs, although trendy at some point in history, were lost or destroyed due to the various wars, disasters, breakage, and concept of getting rid of things that are old, to bring on the new.
Yet we are always traversing the richness of the landscape, from what is behind us, to what is ahead of us…So we have to learn from the past, in order to increase our appreciation for all art.
It is not just the famous, or the high falutin’ well-known artists who have created beautiful art. Art comes from all locations, and all walks of life.
Giftedness is not based on fame or self importance, but rather on dedication, and the ability to contribute time and effort to a labour of love.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Recently the mainstream media, in particular CBC, has exposed some high profile people who have made false claims to be adopted, and Indigenous.
The most recent one is Buffy Sainte-Marie, who made false claims to be Cree, from Saskatchewan. Her story was that she had been “scooped” from her traditional First Nation’s home in Canada, and adopted by an American family in Massachusetts. She claimed the adoption records were lost or destroyed by fire. But once her story is delved into, it is clear she made multiple false claims that should have raised red flags at the onset.
Adoption records in Saskatchewan were not destroyed as she claimed. In fact all records of adoption, foster care, births, deaths, marriages etc. are kept on file indefinitely. The notion that one can falsify or bury such records goes to show how brazen they are, and how little respect they have for the importance of records, and the legalities that surround them.
In addition to the CBC articles, the Fifth Estate also did an in-depth piece of investigative journalism on the topic, which proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was born in 1941 to a Caucasian family in the US. She was the middle child of three children born to Winnifred and Albert Santamaria. The family changed their name to Sainte-Marie because they believed there was anti-Italian attitudes in the US at the time.
There are all kinds of records to prove the truth of her birth, heritage and upbringing. She has a birth certificate to show who she really is. There are family videos, school records, and various other bits of validation.
In my opinion, one of the main confirmations of her identity, is her own marriage certificate from 1982. She signed the marriage certificate ten years after she embarked on her false Indigenous claims. When she signed the marriage certificate, she also had to acknowledge her birth record and nationality. So clearly she knew who she was, and where she came from. She was not mentally ill or suffering from a psychotic break, or delusional disorder.
The surname Santamaria has its origins in the Latin Arch in Europe. It was not until she was in her twenties that Buffy Sainte-Marie began to claim she was of Indigenous heritage. She went on Sesame Street to make the claims to wide-eyed naive young children. She would dress up in feathered head-bands, and various Indigenous costumes, and soon became a voice for the Indigenous people. In reality, she became an iconic fraud.
Her false claims created a platform for the launching of her career and wealth. Her family was hurt and baffled by her claims, because essentially she was rejecting her own heritage, roots, and upbringing, in favour of a fabricated one. Initially she claimed to be Algonquin, then Mi’kmaq, and finally landed on the Saskatchewan Cree origin, claiming the adoption records had been lost or destroyed.
When her family tried to set the record straight, she hired high powered lawyers to send them threatening letters. They fear retaliation to this day because she does have money, fame, power and influence compared to them. Understandably, they do not want to lose their homes, or be hounded and threatened by high priced aggressive lawyers.
In addition to causing a great deal of strife in her own family, it makes a mockery of the Indigenous heritage as well. She exploited the image, and made the claims for her own personal gain, when she had no real clue about the hardships they faced, or the culture they were born into. In fact, she had no clue what it is to be a Canadian.
On top of appropriating the voice of the Indigenous people, this type of deception undermines the importance of family of origin, of roots, genetics, heritage, culture, developmental psychology, and the systems we are expected to respect and uphold.
People like Buffy Sainte-Marie and Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, who was a Canadian judge, who also advanced her career on false premises of being Indigenous, received multiple awards, and honorary doctorates from different Universities. Both these women also got the prestigious status of being in the Order of Canada, all under false pretences. It only serves to strip such a designation of all credibility. The Order of Canada has become so disordered, it is considered to be a joke.
In the case of Mary-Ellen Turpel Lafond, one by one, her many honorary doctorates were revoked from multiple Universities. In spite of it all, both the judge and the iconic singer, continue to claim Indigenous heritage. In my opinion, Universities should drop the practice of handing out fake honorary doctorates period. They clearly have no meaning, because they are not earned.
Let ALL people, regardless of nationality or heritage, earn their degrees. There is no merit in obtaining such watered down hand-outs as honorary doctorates. They are meaningless, and take away from those who put the time, money, and effort into getting advanced degrees.
Furthermore, it makes the Universities culpable in promoting fraudulent claims of Indigenous heritage, because surely, they must have the resources, and wherewithal to vet those honorary doctorates. Yet clearly, they don’t even bother to do so.
Anyone who dons a feathered head band, or wears a button blanket for a photo-op can miraculously become an icon of success in the Indigenous playbook. How do those incessant lies contribute to truth and reconciliation? How does a judge and former politician for children and families, who makes false Indigenous adoption claims, serve the same communities she is defrauding?
She claimed to have direct experience with being in foster care, with drug and alcohol abuse, and domestic violence. None of it was true. The dishonest judge, who doctored her resume, and history with so many falsehoods, grew up in a privileged upper middle class family. All her so called childhood adversity, was contrived and fabricated.
If anything, this proves that making fraudulent adoption claims has long term and far-reaching effects. It undermines the foundational values of family, culture, the educational system, and the fact no one was doing any fact checking or screening for decades before this problem was exposed.
All false adoption claims, to include those who make claims of adopting someone – should be a red flag and investigated for fraud. The only reason anyone makes false adoption claims is to exploit or take advantage of a situation or person.
If such claims are allowed to go on for years, they soon become general beliefs, which are much more difficult to undo in order to set the record straight. Lies, if repeated often enough, become part of the fabric of a pseudo-existence.
If someone gets an advantage and promotion as a result of those lies, you can be sure there will be an equally destructive disadvantage that falls upon someone else, as a result of that unscrupulous gain.
False adoption claims should be immediately questioned, investigated, and treated as fraud, with legal and career consequences to deter such nonsense. In the case where someone has more money, power, influence, and the ability to oppress the truth, or threaten those who expose it, they should have to face more serious consequences.
No one should be able to bully a person into silencing the truth of who they are, and where they came from. Families are a unit, even if they become broken, and full of strife. If one member of the family, or part of the family, is stepped on or mistreated, it adversely affects the whole family, often for many generations.
No one has the right to “get rid of” a family member they reject or despise, no matter how much power and money they have, or how lowly they judge the reject to be. False adoption claims are a devious, unlawful, self-serving, one way street.
Foundational lies can only be one way for awhile, before the truth comes out, and the harm they caused comes to light. The only way the “my way, or the highway” concept flies – is when the wheels come off, and it flies straight back into the naked face of the fraudster. There is egg all over that face. The longer it went on, the more rotten the stench.
Only the birth parent can give a child up for adoption. There are legal guidelines, as well as long established systems and records to be filed. All countries have child protection services in place, to make sure there is no coercion, deception, exploitation, sale or trade of a child, or any other illegal reasons for adoptions.
The legal structures are also in place to prevent people from finding loopholes, and to deter those who are inclined to make fraudulent claims of an adoption, when there was no adoption. No one should ever be allowed to steal a child. Clearly the systems meant to protect children, are fallible regardless.
There have been cases of abductions, where the perpetrator claims to have adopted the child. In all cases of fraudulent adoptions, children are at the most risk. Exploitation is at the core. False adoptions disregard every single system that is in place to protect children and families.
It is charlatans, cults and criminals who make false adoption claims for their own personal gain. For anyone who calls themself a Christian, they would know that lying is not okay. They would know that oppression, bullying, and silencing the truth is not okay.
If they read the Bible, they would know, there are numerous books of the Bible that give detailed accounts of genealogy, naming who begat who – one by one. No one gets to steal the identity of another person, tribe, or lineage. Every single one of us is accounted for, and has a place in our own family lineage. Anyone who tries to add to, insert themselves, or excise another person from their origins – is actually trying to tear them out by the roots.
It violates numerous Commandments. The fifth commandment is to “honor your father and mother”. The eighth commandment is “thou shalt not steal”. The ninth commandment is “thou shalt not give false witness” The tenth commandment is “thou shalt not covet”.
Therefore Christians who support false adoption claims are cultish, and not the least bit genuine. And those who covet fame and exaltation using false adoption claims, and false heritage claims are fraudsters, who undermine all of the systems.
The Universities, the Order of Canada, the foster care system, the educational system, the judicial system, the family systems, the awards and grants systems, and all of our culture and heritage – is undermined and robbed when fraud is allowed to flourish.
How to prevent it? First of all, the investigations should be done up front, not fifty years later. Fraudulent adoption claims should be treated as a crime, especially if those claims caused direct harm, or were the result of force, and an abuse of power.
In my own life history, the course of my life, career, and family life, was derailed by a high school teacher who made repeated and consistent false claims to have “legally adopted me”. It was a blatant lie, but he repeated it over and over, and would not back down or take no for an answer.
The only thing that would have stopped him, was if he would have been investigated, and arrested. His conduct should have raised red flags with multiple authorities. I told him to leave me alone many times when I was a student in school. I told him I don’t care what he thinks or wants to believe. I said no, to all his efforts to make me his “daughter”. I thought it was sick and warped to the core. But he would not listen to me. In his eyes I was nothing, and he was everything.
When a person persists in the false claims, once there is irrefutable proof brought forward to contradict their claims, they are still not facing consequences. They should face criminal consequences after a full psychiatric evaluation is done.
The old adage, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is important when it comes to stealing identity. In the cases of Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, and Buffy Sainte-Marie, it did not take much to uncover the truth. The truth should have been uncovered long ago. It would have saved them the walk of shame at the end of their careers. Fantasy is not reality. If they want to create fiction, they have to acknowledge it as such.
Another key aspect of prevention, in my opinion, would be to stop the practice of “informal adoptions” in the Indigenous communities. During the time I lived on Haida Gwaii, many Caucasian people were offered informal adoptions as adults, into the Haida community. I was offered it as well, but declined.
The white people on Haida Gwaii who were part of the informal adoptions, did so as a reciprocal gesture of respect, not as an actual adoption. No one in their right mind would use that as a platform to make the claim they were of Haida ancestry.
However, I can see where the practice of informal adoptions in the Indigenous communities has led to unscrupulous claims. People need to realize adoption is a legal and binding process that is recorded with the Department of Vital Statistics the same as births, marriages, divorces, and deaths are recorded for all time.
Formal adoptions are not to be taken lightly. You can get a divorce much easier than you can get out of a legal adoption. It ties you to each others assets, and all legal decisions for the rest of your life.
I recall watching a show where an elderly widow tried to help a street girl who was a prostitute or stripper. She gave her a place to live, and then got talked into adopting her, which she did. Before long, she realized the woman was lying to her, and stealing from her. She tried to terminate the adoption, and became embroiled in a legal battle. After she died, the woman sued for a percentage of her estate, even though they had only known each other a couple of years.
The teacher who tried so hard to adopt me when I was never up for adoption, was simply told that he had to wait until I was eighteen, and that I had to consent to an adoption. He was told that any attempts to force an adoption would not go “unchallenged”. Now my question is, and always has been – why was this man not challenged?
When I turned eighteen, he had all the paperwork done, and then backed me into a corner, ordering me with all his teacher, religious, and tough guy authority – to sign those papers, RIGHT NOW!
I was very intimidated, and confused at the time, but I knew he was demanding that I sign a legal document, and he could not force my signature. I was not consenting. So I meekly, but adamantly refused to sign the papers.
Even after that happened, he falsely claimed the legal adoption had taken place. For many years I believed he had forged my signature, and submitted the papers.
He colluded with others, so I was constantly ganged up on. He claimed “intervention was required” when truthfully, I had accelerated through school, and consistently passed with honors. He was so aggressive and convincing with the lying, for most of my life I thought I was the “bad girl”. I did not realize how much he had brainwashed me until much later.
It took quite awhile before it dawned on me – so what if I actually WAS a terrible, degenerate bad girl? He still had no right to do what he did. It was not up to him to judge me, and our mother, as being “non-redeemable” lost souls. He seemed to think he was some kind of deity.
He forced me into a nursing program, when I had no inclination to be a nurse. I wanted to go to University and get a baseline degree, so I could become an academic.
Since I was very young at the time, and due to his abuse of power, I had no choice. So I took nursing, because I knew a post-secondary education was critical, in order to escape a pattern of familial violence. If not for him, I would have been able to accept an English scholarship at the University of Calgary. When the professor of the English program realized I was under the thumb of a high school teacher, he was outraged.
I wrote the RN exams when I was nineteen years old. During the time I was enrolled in the nursing program, the teacher was nowhere near me. I did excel and get high marks, as I had done throughout school, but my marks had nothing to do with the teacher. However, from then on, he took credit for what I was. It gave him an even greater inclination to define, take ownership, and inflict a constant debt bondage, and lifelong involuntary gratitude.
It was not up to him, to create a lying adoption con, to cover his obsession with a teenage girl. To cover his stalking, and the fact he forced me into his car on numerous occasions, and forcibly confined me for hours on end.
To an extent, the teacher adoption plot was an extension of family violence in my own family. It was also a scheme to prevent me from choosing my own career path, in order to “keep me in line”. It was a strategy, and a trap designed to monitor and control me for life. I was supposed to be under the rule of the authoritarian schoolmaster forever.
In later years the teacher pretended to be a mellow absent minded professor, and nice Christian guy. He never stopped his compulsive lying. All he did was trade his macho, overt bullying to more covert manipulations and control.
One thing I really want to make clear. The teacher was a teacher. That’s it, that’s all. He was NOT a part of my family, and I was NOT a part of his family. No amount of punishment, lying, gaslighting or coercion is going to change that fact. The adoption con was a ruse to cover for his lawless conduct.
No young girl should ever have to be forced to quit school, change schools, or run away – just to get free of a teacher who is relentlessly harassing them. No teacher should ever get away with such conduct. If it takes fifty years to come to light, they should still be held accountable.
When under the dark cloud of someone who is stalking your soul, and abusing power to such an extent, it takes a very long time to garner the courage to go to the authorities. The backlash and punishment for reporting it to the police, was always foremost in my mind.
The adoption was a lying excuse to take control of me. He had to make up some kind of excuse for acting the way he did, when I was never under his jurisdiction. I hardly knew the guy. He came to our school as a brand new teacher when I was in junior high school. He was in his twenties when he first started making the adoption claims, citing God as his authority. Yup – God told him to adopt me.
I was aghast when he said God told him to adopt me. First, I sarcastically asked him if God talks to him out of the sky, or the walls or what? Then when I could not deter him, I said, “Well since it is my life, why wouldn’t God tell me too?”
But how could I know at the time, there was no reasoning with this man? He was still lying about it thirty, and forty years later. One would think he is completely delusional and psychotic, but I know for a fact that he knows it is all a pack of lies.
It was all about power, domination and control. He has his own family, and he knows very well who they are. So it was a clearly a brazen con, and he should have faced con-sequences.
In fact his own son got advanced degrees, and ended up teaching in a junior girl’s college in New York. The young girls who attended the college would have been between seventeen and nineteen years old on average. A few years after he started teaching there, he sent me an email telling me he was “in love” with one of his students.
At this time, he was divorced and in his mid-forties. He then went on to say he did not know “if she was going to love me back”. Those were his words. He wrote in the email that he had been “following her home on the subway, and knew where she lived”. Clearly, the apple does not fall far from the tree. Once again, intergenerational patterns arise from dysfunctional dynamics. I can only imagine how creeped out, and scared the poor girl must have been, because it sounded like he followed her several times.
One day the teacher (and his son) will face consequences for their actions. No one gets to abuse power, or speak for God in a lying manner, without facing God’s judgement. The teacher, who was touted as the “wonderful Christian” should have taken the time to actually read the Bible.
If I was really that bad, he would not have been so desperate to take ownership of me, before I could get away. People usually do not want to own bad things, they want to own objects they think are worth something to them. To put it simply, I was targeted, and objectified by a predatory teacher. He was involved in a devious scheme, with scapegoating, and collusion, as part of the plot.
Every single time I tried to refute the adoption claim, I got threatened with expulsion from my own family, and accused of being mentally ill, and emotionally disturbed. The teacher was the king of gaslighting. He acted as though he had the power to have me declared insane. Since he was in collusion with a member of my own family, this accusation was a grave concern, even though gaslighting is illegal.
Countless people over the years have been thrown into psych units, or drugged into oblivion, just based on false accusations. In addition, when someone makes those accusations, in order not to be in denial, any sensible person is forced to do some soul searching. When those with power are victimizing you, it is easy to take on those false accusations as part of the victim role.
I now know much more about gaslighting, as part of the repertoire of deviant schemes. I also know that all of us are presumed sane, until it is proven otherwise. No one can be forced into a psychiatric evaluation without legitimate reasons, and a court order. Gaslighting is a form of psychological torture. It is very painful, dehumanizing, and makes us unable to trust our own perception of reality.
Under the Criminal Code of Canada, section 269.1 torture is defined as:
torture means any act or omission by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a person
(a) for a purpose including
(i) obtaining from the person or from a third person information or a statement,
(ii) punishing the person for an act that the person or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, and
(iii) intimidating or coercing the person or a third person, or
(b) for any reason based on discrimination of any kind,
Children and students in a public school do not routinely get forced into a pseudo-adoption by a tough guy bullying teacher, as a form punishment. If a kid truly is bad, they get suspended, or referred for an assessment. They don’t get miraculously adopted by a twenty-eight year old teacher who has the hots for them. I well remember how practically every kid in the school was afraid of him. I wonder if he is proud of himself for such a legacy?
Part of his desire to dominate, take control of, and punish me, was because I was able to excel academically. He was so chauvinistic, and such a cultish religious zealot – no sassy young female was going to deny him what he wanted, even if it meant he was defying all the laws of reality, ethics, and teacher conduct. He wanted to take all the credit for my academic ability, when he had absolutely nothing to do with it. He viewed me as a lucrative fund-raising mascot for his cult religion.
I was planning to go to University once I graduated, and had a scholarship offer. I did not ask for, or want his interference in my life. As a teacher, I did not like him at all. He stared to the point of making your blood run cold, and was full of macho arrogance.
I was pretty confident I could complete two years of University by the time I turned eighteen. So how was it that I was so bad, I needed “adoption” intervention? Since when is a pseudo-adoption an intervention? For any reason? It was so bogus, it still defies logic, and it still plagues me.
Without a doubt, it was the most abusive, and toxic relationship of my entire lifetime. To this day, I am not free of all it entails. Therefore, when I speak or write about the harm done by false adoption claims, I do know what I am talking about.
Now there are frequent newspaper reports in MSM about teacher misconduct. But years ago when I was a student in a small farming community in central Alberta, teachers could pretty much do what they wanted.
Most of them were professional and decent, but a couple of them were not. The teacher who targeted me, forcibly confined me in his house late at night for hours on end. During those bleak hours of repeated brainwashing, he told me the following things over and over. Most of these same mantras were repeated again, and again in the following years.
He said God told him to adopt me. He told me over and over that I was his daughter, as if it was a statement of fact. He told me he loved me, and the love was unconditional. He said I would never get away, because he would hunt me down. He told me I had the exact same IQ as his wife. He repeatedly told me my mother was wicked, evil and non-redeemable. That was his main theme, and also the one that made me feel most uncomfortable. After all, our mother is our mother, and most of us love our mother.
He also told me it was very hurtful for him, and his wife if I even thought of that wicked woman as being my mother. For crying out loud – she was my mother! Why should anyone be shamed, and punished, for thinking their mother is their mother? Why on earth was I subjected to his insanity?
He repeatedly told me how special I was, and that I was his precious gift from God. How was I supposed to reconcile the dichotomy between being a bad girl, and terrible degenerate – in sharp contrast with being a shiny object, and special gift from God?
He told me hundreds of times that he was proud of me. He was so puffed up and proud of himself. It was another one of his lies that made me cringe, and also made me angry.
He was proud of himself. I had nothing to do with his excessive false pride. He told me he liked to believe he had me since I was a little girl, around six years old. Is that weird or what? He “liked” to believe a lot of things.
He had it firmly established with all the lies, he was my saviour, not God but him, the almighty teacher. The only thing that could possibly make me redeemable, and acceptable in the eyes of God, and all those around me, was to be the “daughter” of the cultish power abusing teacher.
Every single time I refused his claim of adoption, I was shamed and denigrated for being cruel, hurtful, and in defiance of authority. When I asked him how it was possible for him to have given birth to me when he was eleven years old, he reverted back to his God theory.
He made it very clear I was going to be attached to him for the rest of my life. There was no escaping him. He then had the gall in later years, to tell people I had given him grey hairs when I was a teenager. He really played the fictional role of being the daddy-god. He was more like the godfather gang banger, in the midst of my life and family.
After I graduated, I could not escape him as he was invited to every family function. I simply tried to be polite. If I told the truth about him, I was threatened with expulsion from my own family. He sent me hundreds of syrupy and glittery “daughter cards” plastered with out of context Bible verses. He repeatedly came to my house, and whenever he got the chance, he repeated many of the same things he said when I was a student.
My husband was killed in an accident when I was just thirty-five years old. This brought the teacher to my door step, pushing his way into my life more than ever, and it nearly destroyed me. When my husband was alive, we kept a polite arm’s length distance. My husband never left me alone in a room with him. He knew I was not comfortable with him, and he told me he did not like the way he looks (stares) at me. So during those years, before his death I had protection. Because of that, the teacher did not visit that often, and when he did, he did not have direct access to me.
I met my husband playing College basketball. He was the tallest guy on the team, and was quite cocky as he had always been a super star athlete, and MVP. When I met him, I told him about the teacher supposedly being a “wonderful Christian” yet he had chased me and forced me into his car numerous times. He would yell at me, “You will get in that car, or I will STUFF you in that car”.
Paul just looked at me for a long moment, and then said, “Not anymore, he ain’t”. So for a time, I finally had a solution to my problem, and I was so grateful for the protection. I remember thinking how Paul was able to stuff a basketball in the net, and that’s what he would do to the teacher if he ever tried to use force, or put the grab on me again.
So as it is when we are young, we think we have found a solution to solve the problem forever. If it had not been for Paul’s untimely death, I still believe we would have eventually shut the teacher out completely. The only reason we did not tell him to get lost, and slam the door in his face, was because he had infiltrated my family, and there was no real way to get rid of him. So to keep the peace in the family, we remained polite and respectful, which was a big mistake in hindsight.
All push in predators seek a way to get in the door. Once the door is open a crack, they brazenly push their way in. We should have slammed and dead-bolted that door as soon as we got married. I always felt absolutely sickened to the core, and very uncomfortable around the teacher, and that never changed once throughout the entire ordeal with him. It nearly killed me.
One of the things that really bothered me in later years, was why should any woman have to have a body guard to be protected from a teacher? Not just during school, but for a lifetime.
Why should any woman get saddled with an unwanted, putrid and disgusting relationship, when every fibre of her being rejects it? It was not just physical threats he subjected me to, but worse yet, there was a constant psychological barrage, filled with shaming, and forced acceptance of his lies, along with extreme in-depth spiritual abuse. It was devastating on many levels. In my own family, he made himself far more important than I am. He got their support, not me. It compounded the pain of it all, to the point of anguish.
The cult the teacher belongs to, is known throughout the world, for ripping families apart. The Australian PM at one point, denounced them publicly, and admitted they are well known for destroying families. Books have been written about them, and multiple people who have escaped the cult, have come forward with their stories of abuse, assaults, brainwashing, control, psychological torture, and familial rejection.
The cruelty and deception is beyond belief. Researching the backdrop of the cult helped me to understand the origins, the history, the practice of thought reform, and the relentless attack on the family unit. They see vulnerability as opportunity. Therefore, I now know that the evil inclinations behind this plot were intentional, and by design. I also know that his conduct is not my fault. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A predator was allowed to roam freely in the community, and the small public school I attended.
There are multiple witnesses, and many who still believe the lies. This is not a “he said, she said case”. It went on for many years, and is known to hundreds of people. Plus most of the kids in my graduating class witnessed him follow, and chase me down outside of school hours. I literally tried to run away from him several times.
In hindsight, I am eternally grateful that I had God’s protection, and the fortitude to refuse to sign adoption papers, because it is next to impossible to get out of a legal adoption. The very notion of being legally adopted by that cult teacher, creeps me out beyond description.
False adoption claims are life altering, and difficult to get free of because lies become entrenched, and people will firmly adhere to falsehoods, in spite of evidence to the contrary.
Many commenters in MSM staunchly believe that Buffy Sainte-Marie is of Canadian Cree ancestry, even though irrefutable proof to the contrary has been brought forward, and laid on the table.
We wonder how numerous people can develop ingrained and fixed delusions. If lies are told boldly, and frequently, especially by someone who has power, respect etc. they become part of a false belief system. Delusional simply means adhering to false beliefs, in spite of irrefutable evidence to the contrary.
Any person who will lie about something as serious as adoption, whether they are making false claims about being adopted, or lying about having adopted someone – will lie about absolutely anything.
They are proving themselves beyond a shadow of a doubt, to be liars and con artists. They find it hurtful when they are exposed. Aw gee, isn’t that just so sad and terrible? They are used to tapping into the empathy of others, which is a big part of their scam.
People who become hurt, angry, defensive, or threatening when truth is exposed, especially when it comes to identity – are actually making truth their enemy. In fact, we are consistently warned to avoid deception, and to love, seek and embrace the truth. Yet they are foolishly doing just the opposite.
We should all pay attention, and reject falsehoods, because God warns us many times throughout the Bible. Strong delusion is sent to those who prefer lies over truth, and once that happens, the outcome is not good.
Thessalonians 2 – Verse 11-12 KJV says the following:
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Like any structural fire, sometimes the reasons are related to faulty wiring, or lightening strikes, so not every single church fire is arson.
However the surge in the number of church fires, along with the fact many of the fires have been suspicious or attributed to arson, does indicate this is an intentional pattern, not only in Canada, but in many countries throughout the world.
In Canada it is believed the upsurge in church fire arson, is due to the discovery of unmarked graves of Aboriginal children who were subjected to abuses in church run residential schools.
The first residential schools in Canada were started in 1831 and by the 1880’s the federal government was funding these schools, in conjunction with a multitude of churches. Most, but not all of the churches involved in this destructive cruelty, were of the Catholic faith. It is not to suggest any church is all bad, because they all have a mix of both good and bad.
It was the bad attitude that developed, and was cultivated in certain situations, as a result of the abuse of power. In all cases where there is supreme arrogance, and abuse of power, there will be a corresponding lack of empathy towards the downtrodden, or those who are viewed as “lesser human beings”. They are dehumanized to the degree they do not have the power of veto, or any control over their own lives.
The circumstances that developed in the residential schools, stemmed from an intent to separate the children from their identity, their families, and their culture. It was a terrible burden of shame inflicted upon them. They had no way of protecting themselves. They were overpowered, and given no avenue of escape. The kids were taught and cared for by nuns. Some of those nuns were meaner than a honey badger. Once clamped into their jaws, as a child, they were doomed, and had no choice but to obey.
On top of the cruelty inflicted by some of the nuns, numerous Catholic priests used their authority and proximity to defenceless children, to sexually molest and abuse them in the vilest ways. This happened equally to boys and girls. Worse yet, those crimes against children were covered up for many years, which re-victimized the children over and over, because they were not protected or believed.
Even though it was well known by the early 1960’s that these schools were often steeped in emotional, psychological, sexual, and spiritual abuse, they continued until the 1990’s.
As a result the damage was astronomical. Many of the survivors of such schools recount deep-rooted and irreparable damages. In addition to what they were forced to endure physically, they were also shamed for who they were.
The constant and relentless indoctrination, telling children their parents are evil, and wicked, is just as destructive psychologically and spiritually as sexual abuse. It is a molestation of the mind and spirit.
The perpetrator wants to make sure the child can never overcome what they have inflicted on them. They go after the mind and emotions, probably more than anything else. That way they can abuse without fear of reprisal.
It is one of the most disgusting, and appalling methods of trickery and cruelty toward a vulnerable child. In such cases, there are no outward signs of the deep rooted maltreatment meted out by those who abuse authority. It is a clever way to disguise their sadistic tendencies, without ever getting caught.
They get a thrill out of watching their victim squirm. They relish in the satisfaction of assailing a kid with an onslaught of psychological and emotional abuse. They have the all encompassing power and control, while their victim has none, not even the power to be who they are. They take away your right to exist.
For these reasons, it is believed the spark of outrage, has led to some raging fires. Church burning has powerful political undertones, often with hidden agendas, where clarity of motives are not the least bit transparent.
Let’s face it, there could be any number of reasons for the fires, from accidental to intentional, and even for the purpose of collecting insurance. Some, but not all are secondary to the long term mistreatment of people by certain religious authorities. Others are based on attention seeking extremist organizations, or simply vandalism.
If a church is targeted when there is no one there, such as on a stat holiday, or in the middle of the night, the vandals can be reasonably sure they are not going to cause death. However, it is an extremely reckless act, because there could be someone sleeping in a church.
In addition the fire could spread to adjacent homes and structures in the community. An act of vandalism involving arson could easily lead to murder. It just depends on which way the wind blows.
Clearly, anytime a religious authority tries to separate children, foster children, or people in general from their families, their identity, and their history, they are not really Christian, but rather soul destroying cults. They often use sophisticated, deceptive and sadistic tactics while in the process of robbing children of who they are.
A quote attributed to George Orwell defines this quite succinctly: “The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.” Some say George Orwell did not write this quote, however it is accurate and true, no matter where it came from.
In all of this combined religious and political strife, we end up with a somewhat puzzling contradiction. Arson and vandalism is a crime, and places people, and the surrounding communities in peril. Yet if it is truly revenge for years and years of mistreatment, there are some people who see it as a justifiable act.
It is almost like taking one highly symbolic construct, igniting it, then stoking it into a more fanatical extreme. The fiery revenge, billowing smoke, and the brightness of its light, is far reaching, and fills us with fear. It leaves us wallowing in the wreckage of a pile of rubble, with some serious reflection, and contemplation to be done. It is natural to wonder why there is so much destruction.
Churches are illustrative and iconic. Some of them have steeples, depicting man’s attempt to reach skyward to the heavens, and get closer to the divine. Another reason steeples were built, was so the church bells were higher than all other buildings, and thus could be heard far and wide. Other theories claim they were built to keep evil spirits out.
As far as warding off evil spirits, they did not work very well in that regard. The zealous builders of such pointed structures, probably did not increase their own divinity by building a tower into the heavens either.
For some people, churches represent the heart and soul of Christian faith. A high percentage of Christians are Sunday only Christians. They dress up, and put on a good show on a weekly basis, but do not apply it to their daily lives.
Many Christians listen to sermons, and let a preacher interpret what the Bible says, without ever reading a word of it themselves. Is it any wonder there are so many false teachers with a devout coterie of followers?
Churches are also social constructs where people gather, make friends, and create shared activities. In many cases, churches have adhered to the gospel, and showed charitable sincerity by supporting and uplifting the poor, the frail, and the downtrodden. Some churches are good, and others are not so good.
But even so, how can there be such a massive dichotomy in the symbolic representation of the church?
To help us understand what the heck is going on with the recent church burnings, it is worth looking at what is, and what has been happening throughout the rest of the world. Canada is currently experiencing this frightening trend, but we are not the only ones.
Moving to some different locations and time frames where religious arson became prevalent, it happened during the US civil rights movement in the 1960’s, often targeting black churches, in the heat of racial upheaval. This trend continued with increasing intensity into the 1990’s.
In 1996 the US Congress passed the Church Arson Prevention Act. Clinton established the National Church Arson Task Force due to the sharp increase in church arson.
In Australia church burnings followed the conviction of child sex predators within the churches. St. James church, and St. Mary’s Catholic church were intentionally burned as a result.
In Canada, there are well over eighty churches that have been burned in recent years. It has escalated since the announcement of unmarked graves at the sites of residential schools. It has also generated anti-religious political extremists who are part of the mix. Not all of the church burnings are because of residential schools. In some cases, it has been a front for those with a different agenda.
In Chile, a visit by Pope Francis in 2018, resulted in a number of church burnings. In those cases they were less discreet, and churches in Santiago were fire bombed in conjunction with the spraying of accelerants.
In India when there was religious conflict, a number of churches were burned. During the 2008 Kandhamai clashes, hundreds of churches were set on fire and burned down.
Niger also had a wave of church burnings following the Charlie Hebdo shooting in 2015, when a satirical newspaper in Paris was stormed by Islamic terrorists killing twelve people, and injuring eleven others. After this crisis forty-eight churches were burned down in Niger by Islamists.
One of the oldest and most historic churches of all was burned down in Norway in 1992. The Fantoft Stave church was built in 1150 when the Vikings converted to Christianity. The burning of the longstanding church was eventually attributed to the “black metal scene” tied to all kinds of extremist ideologies, white supremacy, Nazi ideologies, and Satan worship.
Pakistan has also had a recent surge in church arson. In 2023 at least twenty one churches were burned, which were attributed to Muslim uprisings.
In the United Kingdom between 1973 and 2008, there were a number of arson attacks on churches. Several of these were said to be the result of anti-Catholic sentiments.
The fact these fires are occurring in various countries throughout the world, for a variety of reasons, suggests this is a global issue with a strong undercurrent of revenge. There is a formidable message they are trying to convey, yet the smoke gets in our eyes. It is a prime example of an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth mentality. Whatever the origins, such a belief is not the mindset of a Christ centred person at all.
Without a doubt Christianity is at enmity with a Satanic counter force, coming from the outside, as well as the inside of the church. It carries many disguises, often as an angel of light, or a deceptive good will. Caution and discernment are needed now probably more than ever before. We are steeped in deception, and yet we have a responsibility to love and seek the truth.
Some would automatically claim the attacks are based on Christian persecution, and a growing intolerance for Christian principles and gathering places.
In some cases, this may be true. However as Christians, we do have to acknowledge that many religions who are disguising themselves as Christians, have committed countless atrocities, and human rights violations.
If you watch or follow true crime stories, you soon discover some of the most heinous crimes are committed by church goers. The BTK killer Dennis Radar was active in his church. Child killer Clifford Olsen was a church goer and recruited many of his victims by placing ads on church bulletin boards offering jobs to young people. More recently in the news, Lucy Letby was also a church goer. The list of church villains is a very long list. There are many wolves in sheep’s clothing sitting in those pews.
Nothing justifies acts of violence. The true Christian gospel is a gospel of peace. It does not rob people of their identity, lie and deceive, separate people from their families, molest children, or any of the horrible things done by not only the Catholic church, but many others as well.
We are living in a time where polarizations are common, and those who are angry, misled, or steeped in anti-Christian, anti-religion, against certain groups of people, revenge seeking, subterfuge, political extremism etc. need to examine where they are getting these beliefs from.
Our belief systems are not contained in a building. No one can wipe out or destroy any belief system by eliminating their symbolic representations or gathering places.
We cannot paint the churches as the good guys, and nor can we claim they are all bad. True Christians need to be peacemakers, and seek avenues for healing and forgiveness. This cannot be achieved through denial.
These days, it just seems like fire and brimstone is raining down upon us. We don’t know the depths or scope of the real reasons for this. If anything, we all need to examine our own hearts, and for those who are Christians, we need to know that deception, denial, harm, and pseudo-Christianity, is not truth, and is not based on the truth of the gospel.
Why is this billowing revolt against the structures of Christianity seething and searing the world? It is wrong, and is not justifiable no matter what the reasons are. But truthfully, the only place we can begin to understand this, is to examine our own conscience.
For some Christians, perhaps their own conscience would be seared with a hot iron. Like fire needs water, Christians need living water.
Living water is the metaphor used in the Bible to depict the spiritual sustenance and salvation we get through Jesus Christ. The apostasy that has developed in many churches, will bring a much greater fire upon themselves, if they don’t turn away from all the deceptive and harmful practices.
Perhaps we are being warned. Every single one of us should examine our own hearts. The Bible does tell us we can expect to be persecuted. But it does not tell us that we are supposed to be the ones doing the persecuting.
Hiding true motives behind a church pew once a week, is becoming increasingly difficult to do. Soon there will be day of reckoning, and any deception or cruelty will be sorted out. It’s no longer a matter of “us against them”, because those who are attacking the true church, and the true gospel, are sitting in those pews, and standing at those pulpits.
Ultimately we do reap what we sow.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The history of opiates, and opiate addiction goes back thousands of years. I once read that every single society throughout history with access to opiates, resulting in high levels of addiction – will use up the entire supply made available to them.
With the introduction of fentanyl, the potency of opiates has skyrocketed. We are told the fentanyl is coming from China, however if that is truly the case, one does wonder why Australia has not been afflicted as much as other countries in the world, when Australia has a much closer proximity to China.
In addition, apparently Australia just had a drug bust involving fentanyl, with enough doses to kill the entire population of Sydney. The shipment came from Canada.
I recently listened to a safe supply pitch, or harm reduction video promotion filmed in Vancouver, where a journalist was interviewing those who actively support a safe supply. Although he took an observant and neutral position on the topic, by the look on his face, I am not sure they convinced him or swayed him to their position.
The doctor who was interviewed for this video was very pro drugs, in particular pro opiates, insisting the use of opiates could be safe, normal, widespread, and not a problem at all. She made glib statements like “everyone uses drugs, and it does not have to be a problem at all.”
She came across as being kind of an opiate know-it-all, and in my opinion, she seemed more like an opiate promoting airhead. She sounded like a drug sales rep, advertising and advocating for the drug, instead of the patient.
Even though she was right in the thick of it all, she was completely out of touch with reality. Paradoxically, she talked about the need for addicts to be given massive doses, due to high tolerance levels. She said for example, if you gave 100 mg for severe pain in a hospital, these people (addicts in the scope of a safe supply) would need at least 2500 mg. in a single dose. She flippantly thought nothing of that painful and poignant fact.
The film also featured bereaved parents who lost children. In most cases, they believed their child was poisoned because they took a drug, in some cases a single pill, that was laced with fentanyl. In other cases, they did not realize the extent of the problem, until their son or daughter overdosed. Understandably some felt guilt, and others felt anger.
Some of the grieving parents are lobbying for policies around a safe supply, and others are lobbying for addiction treatment centres.
I believe the school system should be educating young kids about the addictive effects of opiates. Not about harm reduction, or safe supply, but rather the physiological and biological impact drugs cause on the various systems of the body. It should be explained to them why the tolerance for the drug becomes astronomically high, and why such a tolerance can predispose a person to a fatal overdose.
All people should be aware that addiction means the need to take more and more of the drug to get the same effect. They should also know how long it takes to become addicted, and what specific drug classes are addictive.
The focus should be on finding ways to feel good without the use of toxic mood elevating drugs. Educating kids should be about drug prevention, not drug use and safe supply. We need to find ways to stop indirect pharmaceutical promotion under the guise of “safety”.
The history of the OxyContin crisis and the Sackler brothers setting up an aggressive marketing campaign in order to promote opiates is well known, and well documented. In 2020 Purdue pharmacy pleaded guilty to criminal charges in the fraudulent OxyContin promotion.
By the time they were charged, the company had already made fourteen billion dollars, and the Sackler brothers who were behind it all, have had immunity for years. They continue to face threats of civil lawsuits, and whether they are ever held accountable or not, the entire family will be tainted by their family history for generations to come.
However the Sackler brothers are not the only culprits. The widespread use of Ritalin, and the overly zealous diagnosis of ADHD for every active kid in school, has contributed to the crystal meth drug crisis. In fact, we might even surmise they launched the crisis, just like the OxyContin crisis was launched by overprescribing opiates.
The pharmaceutical and health care industry contributed to the rampant amphetamine use by overprescribing Ritalin and Adderall. Both drugs are stimulants. Adderall contains amphetamine and dextroamphetamine. Kids as young as four years old are being prescribed Ritalin. Is it any wonder there is a drug crisis?
The pharmaceutical companies claim drugs for ADHD can regulate brain chemistry, yet we already know the whole brain chemistry theory has been soundly debunked, based on the long term outcomes surrounding SSRI antidepressants. These drugs were advanced, promoted and over prescribed based on junk science, and the false notion about depression and brain chemistry.
Healthy neurochemistry is not drug induced. It is based on diet, exercise, adequate sleep, stress management, and natural dopamine levels based on personal accomplishments, loving relationships, and overcoming challenges. There is no pill or quick fix that will navigate life for us. In fact the notion of a quick fix leads to disaster.
Even for those who are estranged from family, or come from a toxic and abusive family dynamic, there is a deeply spiritual aspect to addiction. God’s love will not forsake us. Christ said “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” In Galatians 5:1 it tells us “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery”
Addiction is a form of bondage, because it robs choices, opportunities, and health. In many cases it puts a person on death row without a trial. In the meantime, it forces the person to work towards serving the addiction, which is very costly with no positive returns. When you think of how much money has been spent on addiction, and all it demands, just to drag people down, the losses are monstrous.
The public tends to be profoundly gullible when it comes to destructive and debilitating pharmaceutical drugs. Multiple pharmaceutical companies have been charged with fraud. In 2009 Pfizer faced one of the biggest health care frauds and scandals in history. For them, it was a drop in the bucket.
If you go to Wikipedia and look up the list of pharmaceutical frauds and scandals, to include false claims, kickbacks, and off-label promotions, you will find a very long list. It barely scratches the surface of the underlying issues.
When it comes to addiction, gullible people can become unwittingly addicted, if they trust and believe doctors will only prescribe what is safe. Just look at Jordan Peterson’s widely publicized journey with benzodiazepine addiction.
Jordan Peterson believed he was taking a safe supply of a safe drug, prescribed by a qualified physician. Obviously he is an intelligent man, yet he faced astronomical obstacles trying to get free of his own addiction.
Some people claim there is no such thing as a vulnerability or a predisposition to addiction. In one sense it is true, in that many times kids from loving families become addicted, and people who are accomplished and wealthy can also become addicted.
However, I do believe some people are more vulnerable and prone to addiction than others. Although addiction has no respecter of persons in many ways, there are those who are much more susceptible or predisposed to addiction.
Childhood trauma, genetics, PTSD, chronic pain, the need for repeated surgeries, addicted parents, or intergenerational trauma, violence and abuse, childhood sexual abuse, exploitation, emotional abuse, extreme financial stress, job loss, homelessness, and complex grief reactions – all increase the likelihood of addiction.
Those who have backgrounds and personalities that are stable, nurtured, supported, and fairly stress free, are much less likely to become addicted. They can accept their own mood cycles, and are better equipped to regulate their systems, and realize when something is off.
If a person is well adjusted and happy, they do not want to escape reality, and also do not want to feel the sickness, and side effects brought about by drugs. They are also more likely to get a good diet and regular exercise. A healthy lifestyle helps people to feel at peace, experience joy, and realize that some sadness, or grouchy days, are normal and to be expected.
When I hear some of the promotions surrounding rampant drug use, and safe supply, I don’t buy it. The primary reason I don’t believe in such a thing as a safe supply for addicts, is because they need an ever increasing supply.
Therefore, it only stands to reason, there will be a constant search for more drugs. When a person is disinhibited, or under the influence, they are less likely to be vigilant when buying, seeking, or using the drugs. Chances are they will take advantage of safe drugs when they are available, and resort to street drugs in between.
Another reason I don’t believe in a safe supply, is because of the physiological effects, and side effects of almost all drugs. For this reason I would not even promote statins, or SSRI’s, or anticholinergic drugs, or any drug unless it was for palliative care, or short term usage. We have become far too drug dependent, and are easily led down the chemical trail.
Many people are led to believe they need certain drugs. It is not uncommon for seniors to have a bag full of prescription drugs, most of which they don’t even know the names of, let alone what they are for. Yet they really believe they need all those drugs, and would die without them. I think it is more likely they will die because of them.
Of course opiates have their place in the cases of severe pain, such as heart attacks, trauma, and fresh post op surgeries. They can also help keep a terminally ill patient pain free and comfortable.
The notion that widespread use of street drugs can be safe, is obviously bogus, as can easily be seen by the devastation and deaths it has caused. One only needs to walk down the streets of any town or city, to see the loss of human dignity and potential, caused by widespread drug use. The picture it paints, by what is witnessed, is hardly an opiate Nirvana. It is more like John Milton’s Paradise Lost.
When people are in their twenties, and cannot even take care of themselves, something is seriously wrong. It is not normal to spill the contents of a backpack on the ground, and then be unable to pick the items up, and put them back in the pack. It is terribly sad to see people go through such a disturbing regression, and inability to function.
The cycle, and attraction of most addictions, is based on an artificial mood elevation, and escapism. There is a temporary euphoria, and a cathartic release from all the daily struggles, and emotional pain.
If it hijacks the individual, and becomes a cycle – soon the addiction is all that matters. In between the highs, are corresponding lows, to the point there is no even-keel, or stability at all in the life of the addict.
All drugs have side effects. Not only do they wreak havoc with the dopamine neurochemistry, and intensity of mood. They also cause disturbances in gut health, diet, routines, skin integrity, liver and kidney function, and overall well-being. It robs people of their health, and their potential.
Being addicted means not feeling well, therefore I do not see how it can be viewed as compassionate, to enable or support addiction, pretending it can be healthy. It is not healthy. Since it is so unhealthy, the person cannot possibly feel good in a natural state. They do not deserve to be shamed or judged. They deserve genuine empathy, and true compassion for their overall health and well-being.
The addictive high is a chemically induced mood elevator. The temporary euphoria is short lived, and soon the striving for more drugs, is based on the avoidance of being sick. Without a doubt, overcoming a serious addiction is a major challenge.
Many people have overcome addiction, and should be encouraged to go in the direction of healing through abstinence. There is no personal freedom in addiction, therefore to be liberated and free of it, is the ideal choice.
When a person is high, they are not in control of their faculties. It increases vulnerability, and risk in all realms. From violence, to accidents, to shame, to loss of dignity, to doing things they would not otherwise do, to overdosing and dying. The risks taken while using – are astronomical.
When an addict is not high he/she is searching for the next fix, and cannot possibly feel well in that state either. All relationships are affected. The ability to enjoy the small and simple things in life begins to evaporate. Productivity reduces to the point they cannot care for themselves at all.
It does not simply boil down to a safe supply, in order to avoid the deadly fentanyl overdose, although that has increased the risk of overdose significantly. The safe supply cannot prevent the increased tolerance, and need for more and more of the drug.
A safe supply cannot prevent the side effects, loss of productivity, and all the other health related problems caused by the drugs.
The real solution is optimal wellness in a drug free state. That way the person can feel good, and can get in touch with their true emotions, and cycles of ups and downs. They can enjoy their food, and have a natural dopamine increase without the use of toxic chemicals.
Regardless of what our position is, and what we choose to do in our own lives, we would be wise to put on a pharmaceutical filter with a strong dose of cynicism.
When it comes to taking any drug, for starters, all people should know what they are taking, what class of drug it is, how it affects other systems of the body, and what it might interact with as far as other drugs, alcohol, and food is concerned. They should know why they are taking it, what the side effects are, how long they will need to take it, if it is really necessary, and most of all – is it addictive.
Clearly we will not get educational policies through the very systems that are supposed to support health and well-being. We live in a society where drug promotion, and drug fraud is rampant, long before we hit the street level drugs.
Whether it is the aggressive and fraudulent pharmaceutical marketing campaigns, or doctors over prescribing, government policies, or criminal drug cartels – it all boils down to profit.
There is big money to be made, and like the old adage “the love of money is the root of all evil” there is no greater truism than in the drug industry. Once a person is addicted it guarantees a steady customer.
Almost all prescription drugs are designed to be refilled over and over, and over again. People will believe they need the drug based on faulty drug promotion surrounding everything from statins, to SSRI’s to Ritalin, and pain relief.
We are indoctrinated. And like being subjected to religious indoctrination, no one else is going to sort it out for us. We have to find the truth for ourselves. We have to get in tune with how we feel, and stop allowing doctors and the pharmaceutical industry to indiscriminately prescribe harmful medications. We have to understand, a high percentage of the pitch to get people to accept drugs is fraudulent. Look up the list of drug companies charged with fraud over the years, if you don’t believe me.
During the years I worked as an RN one thing I definitely noticed, is the fewer drugs a person was on, the more likely they were to be sane and reasonably healthy. This was especially noticeable with seniors presenting in ER, and in long term care.
Those who took only a vitamin, or a baby aspirin once a day, were much healthier, slept better, and had far better cognition than those who were on a number of meds, especially psychoactive meds like antidepressants, benzodiazepines, opiates and sleeping pills.
How many young people have developed an addiction, and then helped themselves to what was in their parents, or grandparents medicine cabinet? There is often an underlying intergenerational, or familial component as a contributing factor that is denied, because the drugs were prescribed by a doctor. They were rationalized, because there was an element of control, and a perceived need.
Yes, certain drugs are useful and needed. But when you compare what is truly needed, to what is being promoted and prescribed, it is wider than the Gulf of Mexico.
The drug motto should not only be buyer beware, but user beware, and if you can avoid going down that path altogether – ignore the propaganda, and take the divergent route. In LTC the medications would be crushed and put into apple sauce, and countless people would immediately spat them out.
We have been sold down the drug river, poisoning all the waters around us. We shouldn’t have to wait until we are ninety years old, to spat out the concoction in a spoonful of apple sauce.
We should spat them out long before we are in a care home, and recognize they could kill us, regardless of how they are disguised, or what kind of hype, slogans, and slick advertising packages they are encased in.
Whenever someone in the system tells us they want to “keep us safe” – it is a dire illusion. It is a drug induced phantasmagoria. It is a grim and grave antithesis, creating a deceptive mirage for us to keep tripping over.
On a street level, safe drugs is a contradiction in terms. It is a tainted booby trap, and another pit fall full of perils. It is a crooked hook, and a strung out stone. The only substance in such a concept – is narcotized and impaired.
I realize all people truly want to save their loved ones, and prevent more tragedies. Love does not remain blind, and when it comes to addiction, there is so much more than meets the eye.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
One thing I find quite amazing is how much the arrest, and guilty verdict changes the faces of women who are convicted of serious crimes.
Lucy Letby went from the face of sweet innocence, to looking like a totally different person, with defeat in her posture, her eyes and features muted, and slanted downward, with no spark left in her demeanour. It was like the lights flickered, and then went out in her dark soul. It seems like she got old overnight.
In some earlier pictures before her arrest, she looks effervescent, bright and sparkly, like a flaxen Asti Spumante. Her mug shot flew the crystal champagne coupe. Now the fizz is off, and the taste insipid.
Jodi Arias went from the confident blonde bombshell, to a mousy plain Jane, with long stringy hair, and unattractive glasses. Compared to her former self, they looked like two different people. Instead of using her hair to attract men, and generate sex appeal, she used it to hide her face in shame during the trial. Same hair – different chair. This time she was on the hot seat, in a whole different snapshot.
Melanie McGuire went from the beaming, witty, flirty, curly haired seductress, to looking like a stressed out hag. She squints her eyes, purses her lips, and it almost seems like her forehead got so low, she appears to be primitive. Her appearance became more antediluvian, like the countenance of a hunter out in the wild. She unwittingly adopted a face to match the barbaric crime she committed.
Lori Vallow aged at least fifteen years during her trial. She was attractive a few years ago, but even though she is only 50 years old, she looks much older, haggard, and literally has the crimes etched into her facial expression, like crevasses on a jagged ledge.
She looks like she took too many trips into outer space. Her makeup cannot cover, or support her crumbling foundation. Her “space craft” is empty, hollow and hallowed. The carefully crafted plot has lost its propellant. The doom and gloom was a self-fulfilling prophecy. It is too bad she took so many people with her, on that factitious, and simulated flying saucer ride.
In many ways these women used their looks, charm, and sex appeal to attract men, feign innocence, and snake it into a web of deception, and destruction. In every case, they targeted those who trusted them the most.
It also seems like one of the first things taken away from them – was their looks. When they got caught in the snare of their own making, the game was over. They managed to checkmate and undo themselves, in spite of all the foxiness, guile, and shrewdness in the world. They unwittingly turned themselves into hellcat shrews.
For all their cleverness, there is an underlying addle-brain, crazy as a loon, dumb as a sack of hammers, and mad as a meat axe, all rolled into one.
Like the crime of Melanie McGuire, another supposedly intelligent, and darling nurse. Imagine cutting your spouse into pieces, and then packing him into your own three piece set of designer luggage, to be disposed of in Chesapeake Bay? It is like something out of a horror movie.
Yet in her mind, it was as if magical thinking was going to send that luggage over the horizon, into another universe, where it could dissolve into the end of the rainbow, and become like little drops of dew on butterfly wings.
The pot of gold was within her reach after all. He was just a means to an end. Her devoted and unsuspecting hubby had the privilege of being at one with a universal cosmic conscience, floating in the bay. Maybe she convinced herself she did him a favour.
Although these women lost their freedom in the process of it all, they lost something that was probably more important to them than anything. They lost their sex appeal, their charm, and their beguiling enchantment. They could no longer entice a fly on the wall, or the slime on a bog.
Each one of them, at one time had it all. They attracted men. They had careers, a home, money, families, and big dreams. They had everything, and it was not enough. They wanted more. They wove themselves into a web, until it became the fabric and essence of who they were. But by then they were hopelessly entangled. They embarked on a course that trapped them. They did it to themselves.
We are all aging, and we all lose our youthful beauty. There is much to be said for having peace of mind. Without it we cannot age gracefully. What is on our minds, and in our hearts – shows on our face. We wear it, and cannot even take it off, or wash it off.
It reinforces the notion that looks are only skin deep, and there is a far more important aura or presence that comes from within. Clearly our motives end up having a profound effect on our appearance.
For these women, and anyone who has done horrific crimes, they tend to deny it. But the best thing they could do for themselves, is admit it, and allow the remorse to genuinely flood over them.
We all have to admit the wrong, and harm we have done, and seek forgiveness. Living a life of denial just etches those lines in deeper. Healing is a very long process. Without forgiveness, healing cannot even begin. All healing begins on the inside, and works it way outward.
As they went on their life’s journey, these women became vain in their own conceit, and used their sex appeal in a way that brought them down, along with many others who crossed their paths.
Clearly vanity is short lived. It might even be one of the shortest distances between two points. As the crow flies, the crows feet are sure to leave their mark beside our eyes. The trickster who lies, ends up with a soul, as black as the crow.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Like so many topics, this question is open to much interpretation. It appears to me Christians do not face judgement, if they are true believers.
We have to take responsibility for seeking the truth, and learning what the Bible actually says, as opposed to just going to church once a week, and listening to a sermon.
Some religions have obvious and distinctive off-base, and cult like belief systems, enough to know they are not teaching the truth, or what is actually in the Bible. In many cases they deceive themselves to believe certain things, based on false and out of context interpretations of the Bible.
None of us knows the in-depth spiritual beliefs of another person, other than our own. We are wise to avoid cults and false doctrine, but we can’t really do much about the fact they exist. In addition, there are many altered versions of the Bible, which causes people to be misled.
The Darby/Scofield Bible with the rapture doctrine, has caused many Christians to be deceived. The Catholic doctrines, and all the spin-offs from those teachings, also carry doctrinal beliefs that are not found in the original Bible.
There are churches teaching prosperity gospel, name it and claim it, and bizarre faith based healings, many of which have been proven to be fake healings, not faith healings. Some are teaching cosmic new age ideologies surrounding oneness with the Universe, and communication with angels, or the dead. It is truly crazy how many have lapsed into false teachings.
There are mega churches more like circuses, or rock concerts, as opposed to being actual churches. There are also churches doing some very questionable and abusive things to people. There are priests who molest children. There are churches who are deceiving people into giving them money, so the leaders are rich, and jet setting around the world living extravagant lifestyles.
Like the romance scammers, they all have devoted followers, willing to give, and keep on giving just to keep the fantasy alive.
Therefore it is possible there are many people who think they are Christians, who might not be. Of course I have no idea for certain, what the fate of the people who fall for it might be, but I have read many warnings in the Bible, telling people not to be deceived. There are also many verses where Christ tells people to depart from Him, because He never knew them.
I tend to think there will be many people who have been deceived, or who set out to deceive others, who will be facing judgement, because they refused to seek and believe the truth.
If we rely on certain denominations or preachers to interpret the Bible for us, we can easily be deceived. There are many verses we have difficulty understanding, but it does not mean we should totally surrender our beliefs to someone else’s interpretation.
We need to be willing to study the Bible ourselves. When we do listen to what various preachers are saying, we need to look it up, and review it for ourselves. We also need to take the full context, not just snippets, to start to get a better idea of what it means overall.
There are many consistent themes throughout the Bible. The consistency is part of what helps us understand what is meant. Certain things are explained often, in different ways, and in different locations.
Truth in our lives is not only for the Bible, but really it is for everything in our lives. The more we deceive, the more we lie, or manipulate, the easier and more natural it becomes. If people continue to accept or follow any kind of deception, eventually they will be sent strong delusion. In fact, the Bible tells us God will send strong delusion to those who refuse to seek or love the truth. It is quite a sobering concept.
As far as judgment goes, we do not deserve to be saved. We all fall short, and if we are truly repentant, it is a profoundly humbling experience. There are so many things that come to mind to be deeply ashamed of and sorry for.
In my own life, I could not even begin to count them all. If not for the grace of God, there is no way I would make it past the lake of fire. I do know that much for certain, and in many ways, what Christ has done for us, is so remarkable, it is almost beyond comprehension.
Faith comes by hearing. We need faith to have hope. We are especially fortunate nowadays to have the audio Bible easily available to us online. I listen to the Alexander Scourby voice only version of the KJV. He has an excellent presentation with not too much emphasis, and changes in pitch patterns, but also enough liveliness to make it interesting. I can honestly say I do not like listening to anyone rant and rave, like some preachers do. In my opinion, some of them sound like lunatics.
Alexander Scourby was the first person to do an audio recording of the King James Version of the Bible. He began the project using long play records in 1949. It took four years to complete so it was made available in 1953. It was done originally for the American Foundation for the Blind.
I had no idea he had done the Bible reading so long ago. I have listened to his reading from start to finish, and hope to listen to it many more times. You can lay your head on the pillow, and just listen to, and absorb the Bible.
After listening to many preachers, some who are quite good, and others who are clearly off-base, it is comforting to just listen to the Bible, without any middle men to do the interpreting. Getting back to whether or not the true believer will be judged, based on what I understand, the answer is no.
There are many preachers who describe the judgement seat of Christ, and give an explanation of how we must all give an account of our lives. I do believe we must all repent. I also believe we cannot hide our motives in any way. Christ will be able to see right through our intentions, deceptions, and our entire history.
But if we have been genuinely repentant, and are sincere believers, and have diligently looked for the truth, I believe we will not face any condemnation. We may have to give an account of things we have done to serve God as Christians, but I do not think we will be judged or condemned for our wrongdoing. What an incredible gift it is to be forgiven.
It is the reason we are told to forgive others, because we ourselves have been forgiven. We also cannot judge others, in the sense of whether or not they will face punishment, or how they will be judged, because it is not our role, and we simply do not know what is going to happen to anyone else. For all people, they have until they die to come to the knowledge of the truth.
It’s not to say we ignore, or fail to recognize evil. We have to support upholding the laws, especially when it comes to protecting children and vulnerable people. Not judging does not mean we think it is okay to lie, poison, murder, steal, manipulate, or become addicted to drugs and alcohol. We know those are among the many things to avoid, to repent of, and to turn away from ourselves.
In some cases, we are supposed to point out the error of thought processes, or misdeeds, because it might help people to recognize the mistakes, deception, betrayal, or intentional cruelty. I think we all have a right to share our beliefs and testimony.
We do seem to be going through a time in history where morals have gone out the window. In fact, many of the things that were once reprehensible or illegal, are now being promoted as being good. It is a very confusing time for young people, growing up in such a misguided world.
Recently there was an uproar because mountain climbers walked over, or past a person who was dying, in order to get to the summit. It seems unbelievable they would take such risks in the first place. How important can it be to get to the top of a mountain?
Yet if I am honest with myself, I can’t even say what I would have done, and could have easily been one of the people who walked past him. There are many people who go on hikes without being prepared, or without having the fitness level to do the hikes.
I have read many cases where other hikers have walked past, or left struggling hikers behind, because they were ill-prepared, and the other hikers did not believe they should have to take responsibility for the bad decisions made by people they do not even know. They just happened to cross paths on a wilderness hike.
There was one case where a climber was roped to his buddy, and his buddy slipped, and fell into a crevasse. He was dangling in mid air. His team mate did try to pull him back up, but eventually he gave up, as it became too dangerous. At a loss for what to do, he reluctantly took out his pocket knife, and cut the rope. It was a very controversial thing to do. Apparently it is a big no no in the world of climbing.
Lo and behold, several hours later when the rope cutting climber was sitting back at the camp, he heard a weak voice calling out from thirty or forty feet away. At first he thought his mind was playing tricks on him, due to a guilty conscience.
Somehow his buddy had dropped to the bottom of the crevasse, was injured, yet managed to climb out of the crevasse. Although he was severely injured, he managed to crawl on his stomach, all the way back to the camp.
Just as miraculously as it was for him to survive the ordeal, he also immediately forgave his buddy, and said he might have done the same thing. He did not blame him, or hold it against him at all, even though many others did. It’s quite a remarkable story.
I really don’t know if other people should be forced to risk their lives for the poor decisions made by other hikers. In many ways, they too, are in a life or death situation. I think they should have rules about hiring, to make sure the employers and money collectors for those expeditions do not place porters and sherpas in high risk situations. If they do not have the fitness level, oxygen bottles, or high altitude training, they should not be able to go.
There are cases where people have risked, and lost their lives to save an animal, usually a dog. If a dog falls into a river, many people believe it is within reason to jump in to try and save it. In some cases, both the owner and the dog drowned.
In my opinion, it is not wise to jump in a river unless you have a sure chance of saving both yourself and the person, or the pet. I do not think people should risk their life for a dog. But I do think it is totally understandable, and commendable, if someone risks their life to save a child. Bravery is noble, but it has to be coupled with common sense, so more lives are not lost in the process.
As far as mountain climbing, it sounds like it has become an individualistic dog-eat-dog type quest. I think they should make people go in teams, with buddy systems in place. If people are in groups or teams, the people know each other, and have practiced together. They can check gear, evaluate fitness levels, do emergency drills, call for help if needed, and if necessary, disqualify someone who is unable to meet the fitness levels etc.
In every way, we are called upon as Christians to be good samaritans too. Does it mean we are to give Narcan, or provide aid to all the people who are passed out on the streets due to the rampant drug use? How much risk should we be expected to take?
If we give money to an addict, it just enables the person to buy more drugs. It is far better to give food and clothing. Yet it is difficult enough just to navigate the street situation, and keep a low profile so you do not become a target, or cause someone who might be paranoid, or in a rage, to do something violent.
If you were to lean over to try and check the pulse of an an addict who is passed out on the street, they might wake up swinging, or have a weapon. The reason is because when addicts pass out on the street, they are immediately vulnerable. Within minutes they are robbed. Another addict will lean over them, and rifle through their pockets for drugs and money. Therefore it is not always safe to get close to, and lean over someone who is passed out on she street.
It is not like being out on a farm, and seeing your neighbour pinned under a tractor wheel. Of course you would immediately call for help, render aid, and if necessary work hard to help get the person free. But when out on the street in an urban area, we don’t know what to do anymore.
But no matter what we do, we are fallible, and prone to making mistakes. It is probably best to pray for people, and pray about what to do, because we really have no clue, if we are left to our own devices.
Ironically, I see people all the time who are huddled in the alcoves of local churches, and church parking lots. Several of them are passed out cold. The drug users congregate there. Then on Sunday morning when the service starts, all the church people arrive in nice cars, all dressed up for the service. It is a juxtaposition that is difficult to reconcile.
One thing for certain, our belief does not warrant any concept of superiority over others at all.
As believers, we can give thanks every single day, whether we go to church or not. It is only by the mercy, love, and grace of God, we will not face condemnation. No matter what situation another person is in, there is still hope for them.
John 5:24 – “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.”
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Arts & Crafts movement emerged in England in the late 1800’s as a form of resistance to the mass production of lesser quality products, due to the first industrial revolution. The movement was preceded by the writings of influential writers, designers, and art critics.
Art critic John Ruskin, and his many followers, were convinced that the rapid advancement of industrialization had adverse effects on society and the arts in general. He believed it alienated labour, was dehumanizing, and created a gulf between the designer and the manufacturer.
They also believed this caused a widespread reduction of quality of workmanship, and artistic achievement. As a result of the writings, and influential followers of this movement, they advocated to unite all the arts within the decoration of the home especially, with an emphasis on nature, quality of workmanship, and simplicity of form.
By the early 1900’s the movement had spread to the US, and took on a life of its own. It was not as pervasive as it was in Britain, however the British influence was promoted for awhile throughout the US, but did not develop the full scope of socialist underpinnings. They focused on furnishings, pottery, metalwork, woodwork, and bookbinding.
In the US urban areas, the socialist aspect of the experimentation was geared toward offering young women education in craftwork and simplicity, as it applied to various decorative works. Quality of design was the cornerstone. By 1908 Paul Revere pottery in Boston was offering women the opportunity to earn a good wage in the community.
Newcomb pottery in New Orleans was part of an educational advancement for women using local flora and fauna as inspiration for designs in pottery, metalwork, textiles and jewelry. When it came to jewelry, natural stones were chosen carefully for their unique features, and were noted for promoting “truth to materials”.
Soon these creative entrepreneurs were teaching china painting, and one well known artisan Marie Zimmerman, began to expand, and take inspirations from foreign cultures abroad, such as Greece and Asia. The movement diversified into silversmiths, and many other handmade items.
Roseville pottery was introduced in Ohio around 1890. They made a wide range of pottery designs between 1904 until their closure in 1954. This pottery surpassed the Arts & Crafts movement, as it carried on for thirty years after the Arts & Crafts movement died down in the 1920’s.
To summarize the progression of things, and why it is applicable in today’s world: The first industrial revolution began in 1784 with steam, water, and mechanical production equipment.
The second industrial revolution began in 1870, with the division of labour, electricity and a trend toward mass production (which in turn, led to the Arts & Craft movement).
The third industrial revolution is said to have begun in 1969, with electronics, IT, and automated production.
That brings us to the introduction of the fourth industrial revolution, which is promoted extensively by the World Economic Forum.
This is a fluid concept, and is far less tangible than the previous industrial revolutions. It is very much tied to AI, robotics, connectivity through mobile devices, digital technology, knowledge, and rapid advancement in all these areas. It fuels changes to the various global systems; from business, to manufacturing, to banking, to the labour market, and to governance.
There is no historical precedent, and apparently it is developing exponentially, therefore unlike the steam train, and the Arts & Crafts movement, there is no linear pathway, to track this development.
Although technological advancement has many advantages, it also disrupts the various labour markets. The changes are rapid, growing in multiple directions, and geared toward the restructuring of all systems on a global level. What could possibly go wrong?
When the Arts & Crafts movement began, its grassroots concepts were founded, and developed within the context of the social anxieties caused by rapid industrialization.
The current fourth industrial revolution, by their own WEF admission, is a rampant development. This in turn leads to social anxiety.
Therefore, I think it is entirely possible that people will gravitate toward what is tangible, what is utilitarian, and what things worked in the past to develop labour markets, diversity and trade. These are the simpler things in life, and much easier to grasp hold of.
As a tongue in cheek metaphor on the need for a resurgence of some of the past concepts, to help quell the anxieties resulting from rapid mass industrialization, maybe we need to slow down.
If we turn toward something we can take hold of, and pour out, in a more relaxed, and tangible manner, we can look back, and realize our ancestors also went through rapid industrialization. It caused them to take a step back, and reevaluate, from a more philosophical point of view.
The following simple Roseville pottery jug from the early 20th century, has a form, and function, that can remind us about tangible things, in order to keep us grounded during tumultuous times of rapid change.
We can appreciate technology, but you cannot get a glass of iced tea out of AI or ChatGPT, to cool your senses in a heat wave.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
“The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.” ― George Orwell.
This is a true statement, and will hold its’ truth for all things, both good and bad, material and non-material, for all time; and for the immaterial, for all eternity. Orwell had a deeper understanding than most people do.
How many times have we heard how devastating it is for certain cultures of people, to deny what happened to them? The denial is considered to be as bad as the original abuse. It has been widely recognized that denial of historical abuse and persecution, is a re-victimization.
Gaslighting has been recognized as a crime in Canada, and many other countries.
All cultures and all families have a mixture of good and evil. But few things are more evil than denying the truth of a person’s history and identity.
If someone can take over another person’s history and identity, they can gaslight, undermine, shame, and basically destroy that person’s soul. They attack your memories, your perceptions, deny what you have experienced, attacking your thoughts, your intellect, your free will, your whole mind, your spirit, your feelings, your mother, your identity, and your basic familial origins.
They will attempt to pull you out of the ground, roots and all. They want you to be a seed that never got planted. But since you do exist, if they cannot yank you out, they will use round-up on you.
Then they can cluck their tongues in feigned pity, and claim you are mentally ill or emotionally disturbed, when they are the ones perpetuating the delusion. How many times do you hear the pious say, “Oh, the poor thing”. Right. You are nothing but a “thing” to them. And lowly as you are to them, they are paradoxically obsessed with you. They are vastly superior, so they cannot see too clearly, from their lofty height. So they make assumptions based on what they want, even though it is your life. They will exploit you until there is nothing left but a shell, and they could care less.
Most of us know that bullies target the weakest, and the most vulnerable members of society, whether it is a within a family, a community, a school, or a certain group of people within a country.
In addition, it is human nature to side with a bully, if he is the one who has the most power, influence and money. Therefore, the weaker individual is easily, and consistently ganged up on, often with nowhere to turn, as part of the plot is to remove all support systems. They turn you into an outcast, and then blame you for being an outcast. The cognitive dissonance is beyond bizarre. The bully is constantly blaming the victim for what he is doing to them.
They want you isolated and alone. This dynamic and pattern is well known. It happens in domestic violence situations. It happens with cults. It occurs whenever there is coercive control. The weaker person becomes the scapegoat for all that is wrong in the life of the more powerful individual. It is a grandiose form of projection. They project all of their own faults onto the victim. They instruct and influence others to do the same.
At the core, it is a deceptive and unfair malicious plot. The victim is dehumanized, and is therefore an easy target. No matter what you try to do, it fails. If you fight back, you get punished more, and accused of being the cause of all conflict.
If you go to authorities, you risk getting punished more, without any validation given by the authorities. The more of a threat you are, the bigger the risk you take. The more powerful the aggressor, the less likely the authorities will pay attention. Intimidation has a very wide rippling effect.
If you plead, beg, and show irrefutable proof, to try and convince the powerful one, and their followers, that you did nothing to deserve this treatment, it falls on deaf ears. They will gaslight you into doubting your own sanity. In fact, they will outright claim you are insane, with nothing to base such an accusation on.
You are in a no win situation, locked in for life. Truth does not matter to those who do such things. In fact, it is of utmost importance to keep up the facade. The only way you can avoid more bullying attacks, is through compliance.
They are punishing and shaming me for who I am. It is kind of like kicking the dog because it is not a cat. They tried to force me to deny who I am, and the family I was born into. It was very painful to have to endure such a plot.
But keeping up the facade, also has dire and soul destroying consequences. It gets to the point where you can no longer do it. The lifeblood has been sucked right out of you, and it is a matter of survival to get out from under it. The oppression is stifling. You cannot crawl or claw your way free of it.
There can be no substitute for truth. The denial of truth leads to strong delusion. The denial of truth exacerbates the original wrongdoing. The denial of truth leads to secrecy, escapism, depression, hopelessness, ongoing intergenerational abuse, toxicity, and very dark places. It is a spiritual death trap.
All of history, both in the Bible, and in the secular world, there is documentation that tracks lineage and the genealogy of all people, and all cultures of people. No one can excise, eliminate, or alter the history of another human being without consequences. In fact, even in the absence of written documentation, it is coded into our DNA.
Material things from the past are only relevant in what they represent, as far as what humans have done, contributed, discarded, or left behind. These are the remnants of our past.
The material landscape has created heaps in landfills. But we have long since past the point where things like fast fashion, fast food, fast money, and material things without value, have been known to be growing exponentially. Maybe it is time to put the brakes on.
Meanwhile the things that do have lasting value, with painstaking attention to detail, got discarded along the way.
Now it is the past things, not the rapidly churned out Material Girl type stuff promoted by garish celebrities like Madonna, that hold their value, or increase in value.
China, and various others, whose only motive was profit, just add mountains of debris to the landfills. They also add to the desire to throw away the old, for the newer shinier object at the local Walmart.
The new twenty first century culture is one of disposable products, all designed to create and sell more disposable products. This is the great enigma, and a massive contradiction, when simultaneously the world is also steeped in fears about fossil fuels.
Whereas historically, there was pride taken in the quality of craftsmanship, and in taking care of things, because there was time, resources, materials, artistry, and cost associated with the creation of those items.
In creating a portfolio of twentieth century design, my hope is to draw attention to the true value of some of the things from the past.
Of course I am open to offers on all products, but I do want to point out that many of these things will never be created again. Some of them are museum quality, and should be shared, even if only in pictures online, because they show some of the incredible artistry, of what talented people have created in the past.
I just posted a 1920’s silk ribbon dress, and shawl that must have taken well over a thousand hours to make. It is made of intricately wound silk ribbon on net, with every bit of it hand stitched into an elaborate design. It also has a shawl with a hand knotted fringe. How can one price such a dress? There is not another one like it in existence. It is a hundred years old, painstakingly hand crafted, with subtle beaded accents throughout. I have to take some more pictures of it with a larger frame camera, but for now, here it is so you know what I am referring to:
In my opinion the twentieth century of design is the last hurrah. I do not think there will be a twenty first century of design, and if there is, it is certainly nowhere near the quality that came from the twentieth century.
Our history and culture is important in all facets. We will take nothing material with us when we leave this world, and nor will we take any money with us.
We are here to be stewards of material things for awhile, to acknowledge the contributions, the good, and the quality of craftsmanship brought to us from different cultures. Some things belong in the landfill. Other things should be taken care of, and saved until they are passed on to another generation.
Our journey and time here is made up of our history, our family, our experiences, and the work we do. We are not saved by works, but nevertheless we have to work to provide for our family, ourselves, and to not be a burden to others, if we can help it.
Even when there is a deliberate attempt to rob us of who we are, and where we came from, nothing can take away our God given identity.
Unfortunately, I got saddled with a bullying and cultish high school teacher who brazenly claimed ownership of who I am. He infiltrated every facet of my life. He was so delusional, he repeatedly told people I was his daughter. He bullied and threatened me into silence. I barely knew the guy, so it was beyond absurd. But he kept on lying, and would not go away. So the problem morphed into the lies of a lifetime. Like a plague.
We are supposed to do good. We are supposed to love God, honour our mother and father, and love our neighbour as ourself. We are even supposed to love our enemies.
Truthfully, I looked just like our mother, and was the apple of her eye. Her name was Joy. Our Swedish grandmother called me Little Joy. They came to Canada from a farm in northern Sweden. Three of their six children were born in Sweden, and three were born in Canada. Our mother was very creative, and loved to sew. These are basic truths that were stifled and bullied out of me for many many years.
As far as material things are concerned, because of our mother, I developed a love for textiles early in life. I know it’s true that we do not store up material goods for any real purpose, other than temporary stewardship. I love hand embroidery, and brilliant silk fabrics, and fancy glass buttons.
The matters of our hearts, our minds, our love, our relationships, are far more important than material things.
There are those who will try to rob us of what is most valuable, because they know how to cause deep rooted emotional abuse, that is destructive to our spirit and soul.
They seek to deny and destroy our identity and history, thereby obliterating our future. They seek to destroy our relationships, especially to Christ, because for Christians our true identity is in Christ. We are adopted into the family of God.
They seek to break up our family life, and will place themselves at the helm, when they have no business even being there in the first place. They have no boundaries. They have skin thicker than a reptile, and unblinking stares.
The devil tries to take away our identity and history, because the goal is to claim and destroy souls. True evil does not just rob material things, but rather it seeks to destroy our origins, because if we are cut off from our history, it is like breaking a link in a chain. What good can it do if it is broken? What can it haul? What can itcarry forward?
The enemy, our adversary is the one who attacks and tries to re-create our history. They attack our minds, will and emotions. They do not accept a single boundary or take no for an answer. They lie through their wolf-like teeth. They stare as though their subject is nothing but a bug under a microscope.
They close off all escape routes. They are master manipulators. They influence others to lie, deny and gaslight. And once they have them in their corner, they too must go along with it all.
There are many websites now that talk about scapegoating, denial, and abuse. When people go along with a more powerful master manipulator, the term given to them in these videos, is called “flying monkeys”.
It is kind of a pejorative term, and it is easier to forgive the flying monkeys, because they are either deceived, or they are in the mode of self preservation.
Although we have no power over those who do choose to deny the truth of the past, and who try to give us over to evil forces, in order to obliterate our history and destroy us, we do have a helper.
By the grace of God, and the belief in Christ, we are plucked out of the fowler’s snare. We cannot do it on our own. We flounder hopelessly. I know, because it happened to me.
Of all the things we are supposed to do, we are supposed to forgive and repent. And it does set us free. We all need forgiveness, and none of us has the ultimate power of forgiveness. We can only forgive the trespasses against us, because we know that we too, have trespassed against others many times.
The power of forgiveness comes through Christ. There is no other way. Regardless of the historical abuses a person has suffered, there will be a day of accountability. Therefore, like John the Baptist preaching in the wilderness, we all need to repent – for the end of time is coming closer for all of us.
It iscoming much closer, due to the calamities the world is facing, along with the corruption and strangeness that is being magnified in all realms.
The strong delusion and deception is staggering, and I don’t think anyone will know the true extent of it until the end. For some it will be the bitter end, and for others it will be a glorious new beginning.
So if the end, is the end of this world as we know it, and we are still alive, we will go through it, and are called upon to endure it. If we die before the end of the world, we will still be raised to a new beginning, IF we know Christ.
God knows every single person, in every generation since the beginning of time. If you read the Bible, the people are named, and the lineage is of utmost importance, as they go from one generation to another.
No one gets plucked out of their lineage, no matter what another person tries to do to them, or how much they lie, or try to deny who they are.
As children of Adam and Eve, Cain was jealous of his sibling, and killed his brother Abel. It did not go unnoticed. Cain did not obliterate his brother either, like he had planned to. God immediately knew what he had done, and why he had done it, and actually told Cain that his brother’s blood had cried out to Him from the ground. Cain could not lie his way out of what he had done.
No one can lie their way out of what they have done – yet how many foolish people continue to lie and deceive?
Joseph’s siblings hated him, and threw him into a pit, then sold him into slavery. Years later, they came begging to him for food, not even realizing who he was.
Moses was adopted as a baby, yet he denounced that adoption, and returned to his homeland to free his people.
God knows the end from the beginning, and the beginning from the end. He knows what is, what was, and what is to come. Therefore, anyone who messes with, and tries to rob the identity of another person through lying and deceit, is going to be facing the real truth one day.
One of the biggest warnings we have, is to embrace the truth. Delusion happens to those who refuse to embrace the truth. The eternal hardship brought about by such delusion, is beyond our human comprehension.
Seek truth. Don’t deny it. It will prevent us from falling into the abyss. It is a profound and eternal reality. The truth does set us free.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I have to admit, I did not know the range of differences when it comes to puka shell, conch shell, and heishi necklaces. I sort of assumed all of them were hand crafted beads out of shell or stone, and nested together to make a necklace.
However, although traditionally heishi necklaces were made of shell, they are now made of all kinds of material, both organic and hand made. The main difference between heishi and puka is that traditional heishi beads are hand crafted, and the drill holes are manmade. The heishi and puka shell also have different cultural and geographical origins.
Heishi are hand made disc or tube shaped beads that originated in the Dominican Republic. New Mexico, and Arizona, going back several thousand years.
Puka shell necklaces, on the other hand, are made of shells with natural holes in the centre as part of the structure of the shell. They come from the beaches of Hawaii, and became popular in the sixties and seventies. The shells were gathered from the beaches, and then made into necklaces for the tourist and gift market.
The link at the end of this post shows an example of a vintage puka shell necklace, along with the description of a genuine puka shell necklace from Hawaii. I do have a few in the collection, as well as several heishi necklaces, so will have to go through and examine them all closely.
As it is with all things, some are more elaborate, and more beautiful than others. That can be said for both the heishi and puka shell necklaces. The older ones are by far the best.
Most of the older shell necklaces have barrel clasps, which is an indicator of age. However the barrel clasp dates back to the Victorian era, and has been used ever since.
Therefore the barrel clasp offers a wide range of dates to try and figure out. In some cases, the clasp looks very old with patina, and wear on the metal, which is usually brass. In other cases, it is quite shiny and newer looking. It does depend on how the necklace was kept, and how often it was worn as well. In some cases, older jewelry can be in mint condition, if it has been well cared for.
In my opinion, and experience though, I do not see the barrel clasp in contemporary jewelry. It most often seems to be from the Victorian era, to the 1960’s or so. In the more recently made jewelry, you are most likely to see spring or lobster clasps on necklaces.
Once I get through all the measuring and re-examining of the jewelry in the collection, I will do a more detailed blog post on the clasps from the twentieth century.
I have found quite a few websites that discuss the various types of clasps, but often they do not give any indication of dates. The clasp is a key indicator, and sometimes the only indicator of the age, so it does help to learn more about them, if you are interested in vintage and antique jewelry.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Royal Worcester Porcelain Company Ltd. was formed in 1862. Fortunately they have marked their creations to help give an idea about when they were made. The following is a link to a pin on the Quiet West website. I have also included a link to give the background on the markings and how they changed over the years. It is rather confusing!
The pin I am going to use in this example was one I had originally dated 1950’s. However once looking at the Boucher numbering system, it is actually 1940’s – 1946 to be exact. It has BOUCHER without a copyright symbol, and the number 2432, as well as Patent Pending stamped on the back.
It really showed a great deal of vision on the part of Boucher, to create such a numbering system, as he must have known the jewelry he created would outlive him, and could possibly be around for hundreds of years if properly cared for.
The following pin is in excellent condition, which is always a good thing. Marcel Boucher created some of the most sought after and collectible costume jewelry in existence.
This is the link to the pin I am referring to on the Quiet West website, and the numbering system, which enables me to give a more precise date on the pin.
When I embarked on putting this website together more than ten years ago, it was to photo document, set up an online store, and get a large collection of mostly vintage established and archived online.
Initially some of the online research I did, claimed an antique was anything that was at least seventy five years old. It seemed the consensus then, was about 50:50 between the definition of antique being seventy five, or a hundred years. But now, almost all sites refer to antique jewelry as being a hundred years old, or older.
As time has gone by, I have noticed fewer sites go with the seventy five year claim, and most adhere to the standard hundred years.
So because there was a discrepancy in definition, I was going with the seventy five years. But I have decided to go with the more prevalent standard of one hundred years.
Therefore all the 1930’s and 1940’s jewelry with the antique word in the title, will be removed. If something straddles the age span between 1920’s and 1930’s, I will still call it an antique in certain cases.
My apologies, if as a customer or browser, you saw things dated 1940’s described as antique. The 1940’s items are certainly approaching their “golden years” of being a hundred years old, because they are now eighty-three years old. But they still do not meet the criteria.
In some cases, especially when it comes to antique beads, the age is very difficult to pin down. Antique beads have been carried from place to place for hundreds, if not thousands of years. To make it even more complicated, often jewelry maker’s use a mix of collectible beads from different eras.
As time goes on, I realize nothing is created equally, when it comes to jewelry. Sometimes expensive coloured gemstones are put into brass settings. Some of the valuable antique beads are strung with wood, or other cheaper beads. And most of all, not all glass is created equally. Some glass is more valuable than some gemstones.
Organic materials can also be difficult to date. Obviously amber is very old. But the jewelry setting it is put into could be mid century, or any age. So one has to juggle the definitions around the materials, a mix of materials, as well as the time of the creation of the piece. The clasps, pins, and hooks, help to date the older pieces as for as when they were made.
With vintage costume jewelry, it is easier to date, because of the different signatures, and use of the copyright symbol. Typically the copyright symbol was added to jewelry after 1955.
Also patent numbers can help to date items. In addition, the rise and popularity of authentic vintage costume jewelry happened between the late twenties, and for many of those companies, they lasted into the seventies. Therefore most of those pieces fall into the mid-century range.
As I gain more experience, I am getting better at identifying the old, from the really old. Also after so many years of collecting, there are many ways to differentiate the old from the new materials. Of course most of what is in the second hand market now is 1990’s and newer, with a few old things in the mix.
As I continue to go through the collection this summer to measure, describe, and make corrections, the antique titles will be changed to reflect the hundred year range, as opposed to seventy five years.
The burgeoning number of true crime podcasts does suggest there is an interest if not a fascination with true crime. Some of the true crime podcasts are very well researched and have good storytellers.
However, as it is with all things – there should be a limit, especially if the podcaster is using the tragedy of other people’s lives to exalt themselves, and put themselves front and centre of every news grabbing story.
It can be the epitome of narcissism, when someone plasters their pretty face in the middle of every gruesome crime, and retells the same gory details that have been exposed through shows like Dateline, 48 Hours, Fifth Estate, true crime writers and so on.
In the case of true crime writers, those who write books about certain crimes, they actually do multiple interviews with family members, witnesses, and police. They also attend the trial, and make observations during the trial, taking copious notes.
They do not simply watch the Dateline version, dig up whatever is made available to the public about the crime, and then retell the same story, with their own face replacing Keith Morrison or Ann Rule. Most of the true crime writers put the time and effort into creating the relationships that provide insight into the crime, and how it developed.
It is not to suggest amateur sleuths and podcasters are not helpful in some cases. I believe the benefit in posting amateur true crime podcasts, is when there is an unsolved crime. They have to be careful not to accuse anyone directly, but they can show pictures, social media posts, or information, to help the investigation.
In cases of unsolved crime, it seems most often the family wants to keep the story alive until the crime is solved. Or in the case of a missing person, until they are found, so they can get some peace, and mourn the death, instead of wondering every day if they might be alive somewhere. Naturally the family wants to find out what happened to their loved one.
I can think of several cases where an unsolved case was kept alive for many years, often with family putting up billboards, and staying in touch with media, and other writers. They do so with the hope it will bring out clues, or that someone with knowledge will come forward. Sometimes the intimate partner of the perpetrator knows something, but does not come forward until years later, when the relationship dissolves.
In many cases, the podcasters and amateur sleuths do dig up information to contribute valuable information, and tips when it comes to solving a crime. People have dashboard cameras, Go Pro cameras, doorbell cameras, security cameras, etc. that capture critical information, such as in the Gabby Petito case.
If not for the couple who happened to pass by on the remote dirt road where she was being buried, it might have taken years to find her, if at all. If not for the coincidence of those who happened to drive past the van, as well as the inclination to document their own journey, the case may never have been solved.
In the case of Chris Watts, his neighbour immediately brought forth critical evidence captured by his own home security system. In fact, his neighbour, and those closest to the Watts family, were the first to know who did it, long before the investigation was complete.
I think the Idaho student murders also had contributions from many community members, who saw and identified his car, which ultimately led to the identification of the murderer. So in all these ways, the involvement of a wider community, social media, and the many cameras, do help solve crimes. Not only that, but the cameras provide much better evidence than eye witness testimony can.
But when the podcaster is retelling and rehashing the grisly details of crimes that have already been solved and told many times, just to try and use a newsworthy tragedy and loss, in order to put themselves in the spotlight, it crosses the boundaries into exploitation, in my opinion.
Not long ago I skimmed over a three part series that a woman did on a grisly family murder. It has been covered numerous times already, and happened years ago. This same woman has her photoshopped beauty standing out in every single story she does, placing herself in front of the crime victims. In the case of the three part crime story she retold, in excruciating boring minute detail, it was about a son who killed his parents, and then burned their bodies. The crime was horrific, the murder was solved long ago, and the professionals did tell the stories, complete with interviews and outcomes.
How does it benefit anyone to retell such a story in every gory gruesome detail? Some of these people are still rehashing the Jodi Arias crime, which was also solved, brought to trial, and covered by all the news outlets. The crime happened fifteen years ago. Retelling the story does not do anyone any good. In fact, it is horrible for those close to the victim, because it never gets put to rest.
All it does is magnify the criminal, and the notoriety they often seek, to serve their own ghastly claim to fame. Some of them, like Jody Arias revel in the spotlight. Why enable and promote such warped self gratification?
I can certainly understand the conversations about human psychology, and behaviour that helps people understand, or come to terms with violent crime. I can also understand why people have an interest in such stories, and finding out some of the dark intrigue surrounding what makes people tick. It is especially so if the perpetrator seemed to be, or came across as being a normal person. People marvel at how they could be sitting next to someone who harboured such a degree of deception, violence and rage.
If the podcasters put themselves in the background where they belong, it is more appropriate, as opposed to plastering their own image onto every grisly crime that ever happened. I do not see the benefit of the attention grabbing YouTubers who attach themselves to such atrocities, to satisfy their own attempts to be famous, or show how attractive and brilliant they are.
In the case of Jodi Arias, her father died under mysterious circumstances, with some reports saying it was suicide, because he could not reconcile what kind of person his daughter had become. This should serve as a reminder that these perpetrators leave behind victims within their own families and communities, who may never be able to come to terms with what the person did, or the guilt they might feel as a parent or family member of such a person.
The dead do not know who is talking about them. But the living do know, and the podcasters should be sensitive to the fact it can reopen the wounds, over and over again. Then the family is subjected to comments, hate mail, and a notoriety they did not invite into their lives.
Justice for the victims is very important, and opinions are always a part of widely publicized crimes. But who needs to make themselves into a wannabe celebrity over those crimes? What is the point?
In many cases, the parent or family member of a crime victim will have a massive heart attack before, or right after the trial. The trial itself puts incredible emotional and psychological pressure on family members. One would hope that once the verdict is in, the process of healing can begin.
You can tell when a person is using tragic and high profile cases to exalt themselves, because they put their own picture front and centre, and plaster it all over YouTube, to show off how glamorous and beautiful they are. They make sure they outshine the victims, and sugar coat it with nauseating feigned empathy.
What they are actually doing is keeping old wounds open. They are not interviewing family members or the perpetrator, as they do in the more professional shows, to help lend insight into the motives.
They are not collaborating with anyone. Nor are they adding any new information that is the least bit relevant. They are taking those Dateline stories, and news articles, and simply retelling the story in order to put their own face and stamp of “content creation” on a YouTube channel.
They might earn a couple hundred dollars a month doing sponsorship ads. So when you combine that with the fact they plaster their own image on hundreds of crime stories, and then retell the same story based on someone else’s content that they manage to dredge up – isn’t that exploitation?
In my opinion, if the crime has been solved, and the case has already been broadcasted, there is no justification for retelling the story over and over. In fact I believe it does more harm than good.
If a family member of the victim decides to tell the story from their own perspective, that is fine. It could help contribute to a broader understanding, or provide insight for other family victims. But for random people to piggy back some notion of personal fame, and use those crimes to build a following and fame for themselves on YouTube does seem to cross a line. Furthermore, it does not meet the criteria for original content.
There are people who strive to build channels on YouTube with all sorts of topics, from politics, to religion, to travel, to wellness, to camping and living off the grid. In those cases, they are sharing ideas, experiences, personal beliefs, research, and imagery that places the focus on the concept they are promoting.
One would think, and hope that when a person retells grisly crime stories over and over, with their own face plastered front and centre, they don’t have enough ideas of their own to keep a channel alive.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
When you delve into the dazzling range of colour and history of art glass, you cannot help but appreciate the antiquity and the techniques that have been passed down through families of master craftspeople for centuries. Italy, Austria and Czechoslovakia all have historical expertise and long lasting stories behind these decorative beads and glasswork.
One of the awesome things about these beads and intricate arrangements, and precision cuts of glass, and Swarovski crystals, is that they do stand the test of time. They have gone through the trial by fire to be made in the first place, and because jewelry, and especially beads are small and durable, they can last for centuries if taken care of. Some of the antique beads are reworked into newer necklaces, and in a few cases they remain intact from the date they were made.
As I go through the collection, measuring, and adding product descriptions, I can’t help but marvel all over again at some of the art glass. Here are some examples that will light up any room.
In addition to the famous European makers of art glass, we cannot forget the 20th century beauty that came out of North America. In Canada Gustave Sherman started a jewelry company in the 1940’s in Montreal, with the goal to make jewelry to last a lifetime. He did accomplish that goal because Sherman jewelry will be treasured for more than one lifetime. Sherman was sold through luxury retailers like Birk’s in Canada, and ceased production in the late seventies. So the age range for the Sherman collection is 1941 – 1979. It is not as old as some of the European glass makers, however it is definitely beautiful and notable in design and workmanship. Of course as a Canadian, it is a pleasure to promote and show Canadian made fashion. Once again, we have Montreal to thank for all these beautiful remnants of our rich and colourful history. To View all Sherman Jewelry:
I just posted this pair of gorgeous and intricately detailed shell art images under New Arrivals. Even the flowers have meticulously crafted stamen protruding from the centres. Here is the link to the listing. I will add more photos tomorrow.
This image is depicting what I believe to be Mary Magdalene preparing to wash the feet of Jesus. It is not associated with any particular religious domination, other than being representative of the early Christian practice of washing feet. From a practical perspective, during Christ’s time here, they walked long distances and wore sandals, therefore their feet would be dusty after a journey.
In this image, you can also see the man who is standing, holding a basin under his chin, and appears to be washing his beard. The details in this imagery are etched using some type of fine tool, giving the appearance of penciling. It is truly a balanced, inspired, and detailed work of art.
From a symbolic perspective of servitude, foot washing depicts the act of humbling oneself to serve others. To paraphrase what I have learned about Mary Magdalene: In this scene you can see the woman holding up a small flask with anointing oils. In Biblical stories Mary Magdalene is the woman who became a devout follower of Christ. Prior to that, she had great resentment toward her husband, who had divorced her for another woman.
She lost a significant dowry because women were not permitted to own land. Apparently her father was at one time a wealthy landowner. Her husband may have married her for the dowry, as he did not come from a background like hers. This particular information is not described in the Bible, but rather extrapolated from different historical documentaries. There is credibility to the history because her family name Magdalene is similar to the village where she was born called Magdala.
After her husband divorced her, she was angry and rebellious. Rather than live in poverty, as a young beautiful woman, she became the mistress of various rich and powerful Roman generals. One of them, or perhaps more than one of them mistreated her, beat her, and then discarded her. As a result, she became even more embittered toward men. She is the woman described in the Bible as having seven demons that were cast out by Christ.
The final Roman general she was with, was smitten with her, and took revenge on her ex-husband by attacking and burning the village of Magdala, which is where she grew up. After that she realized the error of her bitterness and lifestyle. She is the woman who went to Jesus in front of many witnesses, and begged for forgiveness, washing his feet with her tears, then drying them with her hair, and applying essential oils.
Mary Magdalene has been the focus of much speculation, and fictional heresies such as were written about in the book the Da Vinci Code. However, what is known is that she became a follower of Christ, and grew up near the Sea of Galilee.
She spent time with Christ and His disciples, and stood at the cross during His crucifixion, mourning alongside His mother and aunt. She was also the first to see Him when he rose from the dead, and ran back to tell the rest of the disciples. Little is known about her following the death and resurrection of Christ.
The entire plate is hand wrought with all the open work, and copper edging done by hand. The raised image portion in the middle is meticulously hand etched in every detail. It measures 11.5″ in diameter. It has been wiped with a cloth, but I did not want to risk using any chemicals on it. It has no artist signatures or markings.
The following is another link to the origin and methodology of hand wrought repousse work on metal.
Could a concept be anymore nonsensical than to promote societal collapse? It is one thing to face the prospect of events unfolding that are beyond our control, such as massive earthquakes, floods, droughts, and other natural disasters, but to actually orchestrate the collapse of civilization is beyond comprehension.
Yet if we are watching what is unfolding right before our eyes, and if we read historical accounts of collapsed civilizations, we can see the patterns. There is a breakdown of law and order. Traditional values, culture, ethics, and truth are replaced with a masquerade of delusions. There is an assault on identity, combined with the targeting and grooming of children for mind control, exploitation, and sexualization.
The epitome of gaslighting is to convince us we are the crazy ones. We are not who we are, or even what we think we are. Nothing is sacred or secure. The establishment has lost all stability. Boys are not boys, and girls are not girls. We now live in a liquid Bud-Light world where fluidity itself is plastic, fake and mawkish – circling the proverbial drain.
There is a similarity to the days of Noah, and the days of Sodom and Gomorrah. Those who oppose the masquerades and delusional mockery of God-given attributes, are accused of hatred. Objective reality is condemned and shamed. Cognitive dissonance is literally drummed into people. Mind control takes on the theatre of the absurd, and poses as entertainment via platforms like Tik-Tok. Those who observe and warn about the straying away from reality and truth, are accused of being conspiracy theorists.
Klaus Schwab is quoted as saying “the world will become a much angrier place”. And true to form, it is rapidly becoming much more violent. Hardly twenty four hours goes by before there is another mass shooting in the US. Canada is seeing an unprecedented wave of violent crime, on the streets, on public transit, and other public places. The perpetrators are immediately let out on bail, and free to roam around to attack more innocent people.
Street drugs are not only decriminalized, they are promoted and encouraged, with recent announcements made by our PM to make them freely available to children and youth, in order to “de-stigmatize drugs” – as if you can hurt the feelings of destructive mind-altering chemicals.
The MAID in Canada has increased, to make us a world leader in euthanizing people. Some have claimed the MAID death toll is well over 10,000 already, and others have placed the numbers at over 30,000. The opiate and street drug overdoses have also claimed thousands of lives, and millions more around the world.
The health care system is unaccessible to most Canadians now, with long wait lists, and no way to access a family doctor, or even get diagnostic tests, let alone treatment. A person with Stage 2 cancer will have Stage 4 cancer before they get treated.
The educational system is brainwashing and sexualizing children, while simultaneously shutting parents out of the conversation. Anger is not allowed. Rational discourse is not allowed. The only option people have is to pull their kids out of school, and home school them. The educational system is rapidly biting the dust, choking on woke.
Home schooling is not always feasible, and can cause a great deal of harm to the child’s socialization, extracurricular activities, friendships, and ability to have fun while they are in a learning environment.
In addition, children are being faced with a ridiculous amount of cognitive dissonance and conflict, without having the experience or maturity to comprehend what it is all about. This leads to confusion, and a higher incidence of depression and mental health issues. In turn, the solutions or so-called help for mental health issues, is to drug them, as opposed to helping them understand the whole world is going mad.
At the same time, the average middle class household is taxed with paying for a judicial system that does not protect anyone but the criminals. A health care system that costs a fortune, yet does not deliver the services. An educational system that supports wayward and woke teachers, but does not protect, or properly educate innocent children. And a state sponsored media that fills us with propaganda, censorship, and chastisement for what we dare to think, or have an opinion about. We are plundered with platitudes, and false reassurance. We are guilt tripped for being white, when we have no control over the colour of our skin, and no judgement over the colour of anyone else’s skin.
The biggest question is this: Why would the politicians, and those with power, push for a modern day societal collapse or apocalypse? A rise in violence along with a loss of culture and values is not a good sign.
The next big contributor to societal collapse is a rise in inflation. It has happened many times throughout history. Before there was paper money, there was silver and gold coins. To contribute to inflation prior to the collapse of the Roman empire, the precious metal coins were increased by adding alloys, and taking out a portion of the silver or gold to create more coins. Inflationary production of money is almost always directed at making the rich richer. Those who set this up, make sure they extract a large percentage of the inflationary influx, and put it into their own coffers. Thus the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.
In recent years, the rich have started building huge underground bunkers in various locations, so they will have a place to escape to in the event of societal collapse. These underground bunkers have spas, pools, hydroponics to grow gardens, security, and artificial light. Apparently some of them are built into small communities with underground passages. What a way to live? Nothing like burrowing into a hole. No matter how elaborate the hole or vault might be, it only gets you closer to hell.
But back to the sixty four dollar question; why would these ultra rich people be willfully orchestrating societal collapse? Doesn’t it bring us back to old adages like “the best laid plans can go awry?” Especially if you are underground? The descriptions of Hitler’s underground bunker do not sound like it was a picnic in the park.
What if their smart system or security fails, and they get locked in there? What if the armed security guards turn on them? What if the married people have affairs with one another, and then hire hit men? What if they are built where there are underground geysers, and they get flooded and are suddenly in total darkness, as the water levels rise? What if their sewage backs up and contaminates their food supply? What if they are built on fault lines, and a chasm opens up and swallows them? Or an earthquake collapses the soil above them, and buries them alive?
Imagine living in a bunker with a bunch of elitist control freaks? Who would be the boss? How would they set up the hierarchy of top dog dominance? How would they fit so many big egos into a confined space? How could they trust each other? This reminds me of Jean-Paul Sartre’s “No Exit”.
No Exit (French: Huis clos, pronounced [ɥi klo]) is a 1944 existentialist French play by Jean-Paul Sartre. The play was first performed at the Théâtre du Vieux-Colombier in May 1944.[1][2] The play begins with three characters who find themselves waiting in a mysterious room. It is a depiction of the afterlife in which three deceased characters are punished by being locked into a room together for eternity. It is the source of Sartre’s especially famous phrase “L’enfer, c’est les autres” or “Hell is other people”, a reference to Sartre’s ideas about the look and the perpetual ontological struggle of being caused to see oneself as an object from the view of another consciousness.[3]
In my opinion, as a Christian, the only way I can conceive of, as to why they would actually plan this, is because they know we are approaching the end of the age, and the second coming of Christ. But instead of accepting Christ as saviour, they continue to reject Him, and create their own ill-fated plan for survival.
As things get more and more difficult, wouldn’t you rather be able to look up at the sky, and the clouds, envisioning what is gifted to us in the book of Revelation? It gives explicit descriptions about the return of Christ, coming in the clouds, with an infinite, all encompassing triumph and glory. Who would want to miss it? Wouldn’t you want to witness the most incredible, waited for, and longed for event in the history of the world?
And prior to that, wouldn’t you rather hear the birds chirp, feel the uplifting optimism of a sunny day, watch a butterfly or bee land on a flower, and feel the fresh breeze on your face?
Even for the ultra rich, isn’t the thought of inspirational bits of nature, in the finale of our existence as we know it, better than being trapped with atheists in an underground bunker?
If the mountains do move, don’t you want to see it happen? When the angels blow the trumpets, don’t you want to hear the sound of it, and feel your heart quicken with excitement as the events unfold? If stars fall from heaven, don’t you want to see them come flaming down? Or would you rather be a fearful mole in the ground?
Wouldn’t you prefer to perceive, and sense what is happening in the world, even if it is reaching a profound and cataclysmic climax?
It might put our courage to the test, but surely it is better than being in total darkness. Because who can believe if things do get apocalyptic to the extent the mountains shift, and massive earthquakes are the norm, that an underground bunker would be a safe place to be?
The only safe place to be as the end of the age unfolds, is in the safety of a solid belief in Jesus, knowing He will bring us through all things, even death itself. He assures us we will have the seal of God on our foreheads. He tells us we can find refuge under his feathers, and the safety of His wings. He promises us that no one, and no evil on this earth, can pluck us out of His hand.
No one can escape God, and no one can escape the truth of who Christ is, and the fact when He does return to this earth, He will be in charge. He has the keys to the abyss, and only He can overcome death.
I would far rather have faith in Jesus, and face death, as all of this unfolds, as opposed to denying Christ, and hiding out in a dungeon somewhere.
If we live by faith, even though the events we see unfolding can be distressing, we do not have to worry about what happens. We only have to embrace the truth, have faith, and endure until the end. We do not control what happens on this earth.
Why do the ultra rich know we are getting closer to the end of the age? Just like many of us know we are getting closer to the return of Christ?
Because there are many warnings in the Bible, explaining to us what will happen before the return of Christ. Wars, rumours of wars, apostasy in the church, strong delusion, mockery of God in every realm, lawlessness, famines, earthquakes, and above all, deception and abominations of every conceivable vile imagination.
The Bible tells us people will become arrogant, lovers of self, truce breakers, without natural affection, and because of all the iniquity, the love of many will wax cold. People’s hearts will become hardened. Because many will refuse to believe the truth, God will send strong delusion, and turn them over to a reprobate mind. Ask yourself honestly, are these prophecies unfolding?
We know the signs, and we also see the signs. We also know the earth is around six thousand years old. The world was created in six days, and on the seventh day God rested. The Bible says that to God, a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as a day.
There are countless examples of the number seven as being a time of rest and restoration. Therefore, it makes total sense that the onset of the seven thousand year age of the earth, would be when Christ will return to set up His thousand year reign on the earth.
This is not to say we can establish the actual date, because God does not intend for us to make such a calculation. The Bible states that no one knows the date of Christ’s return except God. No matter how much people try to study the ancient calendars, and set the actual date of Christ’s birth and resurrection, it is futile.
Some people have attempted to work it backwards, to try and determine how long Adam and Eve were in the garden before they sinned, and still, they cannot figure it out. It is all prone to manmade errors, for it is not stated in the Bible as a predictable date.
It is why we need faith. If we could pinpoint a date, we would not need faith. We would also not need to prepare ourselves, until the day before. Some people have the mindset to be like the thief on the cross. When they reach the final moments before death, they will cry out to Jesus for forgiveness, and acceptance.
Perhaps this is why we are so often told it will happen in the twinkling of an eye. We are supposed to be ready, not turning a blind eye to the signs, or to the advice we are given to recognize what is happening.
The time is at hand, because we do not know when Christ will return, or when we will die. Not one of us has a guarantee we will live another day, another week, or even another hour. We take it for granted, but life itself, especially eternal life, is not something to take for granted.
If all people knew the date of Christ’s return, let’s say hypothetically, it was set at April 30, 2023, then wouldn’t it be typical of human nature to wait until April 29th to repent, and straighten out their lives?
Wouldn’t it be more likely people would just get lazy, quit working, quit doing good, quit preaching the gospel, and just sit back eating Dorito’s and chocolates, until the big day arrived? God knows us better than we know ourselves.
We are meant to know the signs signalling Christ’s return, but we are not meant to know the actual precise date. It does seem quite obvious to me that even the atheists, secular humanists, and enemies of Christ, also know the signs and timelines are right in front of us, or they would not be building underground bunkers.
Don’t they know the Book of Revelation describes the locusts, and when they are released from the abyss in the end times? Read the following description from Revelation chapter 9:
I have many regrets about my own conduct, shortcomings, and foolishness during my lifetime thus far. I have a great deal of gratitude for the grace of God, and Christ’s forgiveness, and plan of redemption. I have been humbled more times than I can count, and have come to realize that being humbled is a blessing, the same as repentance is a blessing.
I cannot think of any greater regret a person could possibly have, than to die, and then face judgment, followed by perishing in the lake of fire. This is described as the second death in the Book of Revelation. It tells us how blessed we are to take part in the first resurrection, and avoid the second death.
For those who deny Christ, it will take until His return, and final judgment day to realize the error of their ways. Only then will the full realization hit people. Not only of their wrongdoing, but more so, the fact they lived a short life of riches, deception, arrogance and superficiality, in exchange for eternal life of peace and prosperity, in an idyllic Garden of Eden. None of us can experience the full promises spelled out to us by God, until the battle between good and evil is finally over.
What is seventy or eighty years of life in this corrupt world, even if it is steeped in elitism, or self indulgence, if it is also combined with the rejection of God? How could it possibly be compared to the gift of eternal life? We are on a dry run, or a practice session for the renewal of our characters. Even if the rich who reject Christ do have opulence, money and luxury now, they will never have pain free resurrected bodies, or experience all the promises God has in store for us.
We are told to pray for them and warn them, and I can certainly see why.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Since I have had the lengthy and painful experience of cult indoctrination by a high school teacher who attached himself to me for life, through collusion with a member of my own family, this educational video is very accurate.
I did not join a cult. I was targeted by a high school teacher in a public school, and forcibly indoctrinated and thought reformed. I was trapped and ensnared without realizing the extent of the exploitation and scheme involved. The teacher was steeped in the Exclusive Brethren religion, and seemed to think that made him into some kind of god.
As time has gone on, especially since freeing myself of the forced association, I have realized all the complex, manipulative, deceptive and destructive tactics that were used to force compliance and subservience.
This educational video should be made widely available, as it covers the range and depth of cult practices. They know exactly what they are doing. We would be wise to learn about those tactics, so we are better equipped to protect ourselves, and less afraid to report it to authorities at the onset.
I recognize so many of the tactics in hindsight. The infiltration of family. The over taking of identity, and attempts to force a name change. The constant repetition of blatant lies. The ganging up on, and “us against them” mentality. The constant demands to “keep me busy”. The constant derision, and accusations towards our mother.
The supreme arrogance and elitism, where you are expected to obey and comply because they know what is best for you. The dehumanizing aspects of being treated as a non person without the right to say no. The threats and ominous implications, if you ever even think about getting free of it. If so, I would be rejected by my own family, and God, and cast into outer darkness until I came to my senses. I would be hunted down, as he often said, like the true wolf he is. The gaslighting, and constantly making you doubt your own judgement, feel guilty, bad, unworthy, and wicked, followed by the demands for gratitude. Like this cult mentality was the one and only saviour and rescuer…
He had such hatred for our mother, yet he did not even know her. I was not sure if he had ever met her. She certainly did not know him, other than to call him a lying screwball. The teacher would tell me how much it hurt him and his equally cultish wife, if I even thought of “that wicked woman” as my mother. It grieved them deeply, as she was not redeemable according to them, and I was guilt tripped for daring to think my own mother was my mother. She was my mother. it was a fact, and I should not have been shamed over it by this masquerading religious zealot.
We only have one mother, and the cult teacher’s wife was most certainly not my mother. These people were only slightly more than a decade older than me. I was sixteen at the time. How did they miraculously give birth to one of his students? Yet I was supposed to consider their hurt feelings and deny that my mother was my mother. How absurd. They would feign pain and hurt feelings, like acknowledging my mother as my mother was a cardinal sin. Our mother was alive, and she was lucid right up until she died in 2007. This cult assault was not only one me, it was very much an assault and punishment on our mother as well. I was the apple of her eye, and looked just like her. In fact, from the time I can remember, I was told that I was the spitting image of her. Our Swedish grandmother nicknamed me “Little Joy” when I was just a toddler.
Another one of the teacher’s common themes he constantly repeated was that I had the exact same IQ as his wife. When I would ask, “how is that even possible?” He would puff himself up and repeat it with emphasis saying it was “the EXACT SAME” daring me to defy his teacher authority, long after I left high school. He was staring me down and repeating this lie when I was thirty-five years old.
His wife never skipped any grades, and did not excel in any way. She was boring as can be, but she loved the claim of having the exact same IQ as me. I found it incomprehensible that these people would not even allow me to have my own IQ. If I became distressed over it all, they would claim I was “emotionally disturbed” or “mentally ill”. So the circus continued, round and round. I knew they would be at every family function, so how could I tell them to pound sand? Go away. Leave me alone. They would not listen to me. He was in collusion with my own family. Such was the trap I found myself in.
Plus the family member who set this up with the teacher is very powerful with tremendous influence, which increased exponentially over the years. I was ganged up on, not only by the teacher, the family, but the community, the school, and extended family as well. No one could kick this teacher to the curb. He was the all consuming god over my life.
They try to lock you in for life with no escape route. The professor in the link below describes the cult leader as being charismatic in his coercion. In my case the teacher was not charismatic, but was authoritarian, domineering, andthreatening. He could not have coerced or forced me otherwise, because my intuition did recognize the deception and contradictions. He most certainly did not have a charismatic personality. Quite the opposite in fact. I did argue with him, and try to reason with him many times. But I had no voice.
I said no, but he would not take no for an answer. He repeatedly kept me up all night with brainwashing torture. My younger brother had just been killed in a car accident. I was completely and totally exhausted, trying to get through grade twelve, so I could get out of town. Each time I thought I might escape him, I was dead wrong. I had no idea the extent of collusion and scheming that was going on behind my back.
When I became determined, and tried to assert myself, I got ganged up on even more. In addition to being accused of being mentally ill, I was the biggest trouble maker, the cause of all conflict, and wicked like our mother. I was blamed and shamed with nowhere to turn.
I ended up putting up with this coercive relationship for years, just so I could be a member of my own family. I hoped and prayed they would just drop it and let me go. I hoped they would accept the truth, and go live their own lives with their own family. No one tore the teacher’s family apart. Yet he constantly infiltrated our family to the point he was the all important deity and god-father. Just the thought of that man staring at me, and telling me I am his daughter, sickens me to the core. After awhile, even though he was invited to every family function, and repeatedly invited himself into my home, I could not even stand to look at him.
But even so, I did not fully comprehend the scope of it until I got away from it all. Now I do understand the diabolical nature of the plot over my life. By the grace of God, they did not win. It was a classic example of the fowler’s snare.
When I finally did shut the door on the cult teacher, the punishment phase began, and is ongoing. But I had to escape in order to survive, so I also have to endure the punishment. The threats he made throughout my life, as to what would happen if I ever tried to escape, did come true to an extent.
But the one thing that did not come true, is that I was not rejected by God, and have not been cast into outer darkness. The difference is, I no longer serve the cult masters, and have been shown more of the truth of the gospel. It has strengthened my faith. So the term “the truth shall set you free” does apply to my own life. For that I am most thankful, as I could never have escaped the clutches of the cult mentality, abuse of power, conflict of interest, deception, and dominance otherwise.
I encourage all people to watch this informative video linked below by Margaret Thaler Singer of International Cultic Studies Association. She is a professor and educator at the University of California, Berkley.
Amber is one of the fascinating organic materials that is turned into some spectacular jewelry as well as some odd looking pieces. When you consider there are around a hundred fossil tree resins, it certainly adds to the confusion.
Another thing about amber, is that like diamonds and gold, the supply chain is not always ethical. Some of it is extracted using child labour, or in areas of extreme danger and conflicts. The 1990’s brought about a greater interest in amber following the movie Jurassic Park. There are now more concerns about the extraction, and export of amber, along with global efforts to set up guidelines for identification, and ethical supply chains.
The amber with the most scientific intrigue are the pieces that capture insects, flora and fauna, and especially full insects, like ants and spiders. The most common insect found in amber are flies. Who would have guessed it?
And even more likely, you will see bits and pieces of insects, like the legs, wings or partial bodies. When the insect gets caught in the resin, they struggle to get free. And then, if they remain trapped, they go through years and years of fossilization, so it is not like putting a fly in a jar. The insects can give information about extinct and unusual species, as well as timelines thought to go back as far as the dinosaur age.
But as with all things, in addition to unethical extraction and collection processes, there are also many fakes. Now that I have looked at and handled numerous types of vintage and antique amber jewelry, and especially in doing the macro photography, I have a better sense of what is real and what is fake. Some of the amber is truly incredible as it glows from deep within. You can see a tiny world captured in time, with many interesting organic inclusions. When photographed in sunlight it emanates a deep and captivating glow.
Today I was looking at an amber pendant necklace online that appears to have miniature daisy-like flowers inside. Although it is very pretty, and also very expensive, it seemed somewhat doubtful to me that a bouquet of daisies would be inside a three inch piece of amber. The claims are that it is certified authentic, and the seller is a member of the RJC, or the Responsible Jewellery Council.
The RJC was founded in 2005, and has members like Tiffany, Cartier and many other famous jewellery retailers. However when I looked at their website and membership prices, it was not clear to me who did the certification, or how the organization goes about the policing of certification to prevent fake pieces, or unethical supply chains. It appears that what is required, is to purchase a membership.
An article in the Guardian cast some doubt on the RJC organization, which reinforced some of what I was discerning when looking at the high ticket items. Although I cannot claim to know one way or another, it is certainly a buyer beware type of market.
The amber item that came to my attention first, with the arrangement of pretty flowers inside, came from a seller in Hong Kong. The pendant is priced around $25,000 US. Although I cannot divulge the entire listing as it could be a deterrent to their sale, and reputation. But I do think it is fair to ask the questions. The write up on the piece describes it as “Certified 187 carat natural amber”. It goes on to elaborate further. A copy and paste of the write-up states the following:
“This is a statement piece! Here is a super nice, large piece of certified natural Amber (187.18 cts). The key is that it is certified natural! A large percentage of Ambers for sale in the market are man made and not natural. The Amber is transparent to translucent with natural inclusions. The flowers in this large certified natural amber was carved by a master carver. It is absolutely spectacular. Super realistic!”
Now my question is, how can it be certified natural amber with fossilized inclusions that were carved by a master carver?! First it says a large percentage of amber on the market is manmade, not natural. Then it claims the flowers inside the amber are manmade. The ambiguity and contradiction flows from one sentence to the next. Yet, apparently this listing has passed several levels of scrutiny.
The other issue is that according to the International Gem Society amber is sold by gram, not by carat. Amber is very light and will float in salt water. The general ratio is that one gram is around five carats, but since carats are a measure of purity, it is difficult to assign it to amber.
I always thought the whole concept of finding natural amber was because it had inclusions trapped into the resin and fossilized “as is”. Otherwise how can it possibly be 100% certified natural amber, if what is inside it was made be a master carver? For twenty-five grand you also get a braided cord to go with it.
After looking at a few more very expensive necklaces on the same site, I looked at another necklace listed for a walloping $253,000.00 US. In this case the photography was not even professionally done, which is surprising given the price tag. This necklace was described as being 18K gold with diamonds, not in settings, but drilled nuggets, that were added to the chain of the necklace. It was accompanied with a notice of RJC certification.
The RJC certification was of interest to me, so I looked it up to see how they follow up on the certifications. I wanted to see if items are actually proven to be authentic, and validated by this organization. The idea of purchasing a membership, and then using the membership as a claim of certification for a $253,000 necklace, does not inspire confidence in what you are buying, unless there is a way of enforcing compliance with established standards. I have no idea one way or another about the value or authenticity of the pricey necklace, but it did make me curious, the same as the master carver inserting pretty flowers into a piece of “natural amber” also made me wonder.
The following article about the RJC will help expand our horizons on the topic:
I think from the time we are five or six years old, we will look at something in awe, and say – “But – Is it real?”
Nowmore than ever before, we are inundated with fakes; from fake news, to fake gems, fake art, and fake prophecies. You name it, out of whatever was invented, thought of, created or sold, chances are there are many fakes.
A few years ago, I went through a museum in Houston, Texas. They had transported artifacts and gold jewellery that had been stored in a vault in Western Asia, or Persia for thousands of years. It was a stunning showcase of intricately made gold jewellery and sophisticated art objects. One of the items was a large bronze bowl with carved fish swimming in a circle. It had an ingenious mechanical method built into it, to make the fish swim non-stop without having to wind it up or do anything to keep it going. The jewellery on display must have been worth a fortune, as some of the pieces were very large and elaborate.
In comparing some of the ancient, with more recent products, we certainly do not seem to be progressing that much. Perhaps the earth’s resources, and conflict laden areas have become too difficult to maintain, or pursue the opulence we once had.
It does seem that the workmanship of many antiques, and even vintage costume jewellery supersedes what is made today. Labour costs, resources, and reliability, or credibility of supply chains seems to be an increasingly complex hindrance. The earth’s natural resources have been tapped to the nth degree. Even to the extent many will opt for an illusory reproduction.
It takes us back in time, to our wide eyed childhood wonder and exclamations, “Is it real”? There is much to be learned about our natural world, and all the beauty that comes from organic materials. We end up with a blend of science and art.
Most of us think of amber as being honey coloured, but amber comes in many different colours depending on where it came from. It can be yellow, orange, red, green, brown, blue or black. Some examples of different colours:
Another one of the expensive amber necklaces I looked at online today is made of huge butterscotch coloured rock-like shapes of amber. The design was something that looked like it would be a perfect addition to Wilma’s costume for a rerun of a Fred Flintstone cartoon. If he brought the necklace home as a gift for Wilma, I can just feature her and Pebbles exclaiming “Is it real?”
The following jewellery items in the Quiet West Collection contain amber. No spiders got caught in these pieces:
Faux amber? Below is a link to an an example of faux amber, because how could an elephant be caught in tree resin? It could be carved amber, so I jest. Regardless, there are some amber jewellery items that are very difficult to be sure of because they have the glow, as well as organic inclusions. Some fakes are more obvious, some are different types of tree resins, and some are very similar to the real thing. Many smaller amber cabochons are placed into sterling silver settings, commonly the art nouveau designs with vines and leaves to accent the organic origins of amber.
This final link shows an antique necklace that I have listed as faux amber, but it is one of the more ambiguous items, and requires additional research. It has the properties of real amber, with flora and fauna inclusions as well as an antique clasp. So this one I have to admit is still an enigma:
Another intriguing resin set, which I query as being copal, because it has what I consider to be organic features, and an inner glow. I have seen a fair bit of plastic jewellery over the years, to include a range of thermoset plastics, lucite, bakelite, celluloid, and sophisticated modern day resin jewellery etc. but have not come across plastic like this set before. So it too, really piques the curiosity, as far as resins are concerned.
Another questionable blue amber pair of earrings are in the collection and left me scratching my head. They definitely have organic features, and could be from the Dominican where blue amber is sourced from. But, I cannot be sure, so these too, need more research. They are pretty cool, and the most beautiful shade of blue:
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Tattoos have become so mainstream we seldom examine the symbols or artwork unless they are on someone we know well, or the image is very outstanding and clear. Often people who are heavily inked have many tattoos, and you cannot really see what they are, or where one begins, and another one ends. They almost all tell a story of some sort.
Most modern tattoos carry significance to the person who opted to get the tattoo. They either like the artwork, or they have them done to commemorate something meaningful to them. This holds true whether it is an innocent appreciation for a certain image, as well as for those in gangs, prison, the navy, and so on.
One woman I talked to who was covered in tattoos told me she came from a very religious family with a domineering and controlling mother. She said once she got her fist tattoo and it enraged her mother, she was elated at being able to have control over her own body, so she got herself plastered in tattoos. I guess for parents it is a lesson of sorts. I recall another mother who was mortified when her son came home with a huge frog tattooed across his back. If anything it does reinforce that people can, and will do what they choose when it comes to their own bodies.
Because I worked as an RN for many years before they realized that some of the unregulated tattoo methods were contributing to Hep C, AIDs and other blood born pathogens, due to improper techniques or sterilizing of equipment, it probably gave me an ingrained prejudice that no longer applies. The single use needles and ink pots have reduced the risks associated with tattoos.
However the skin is the bodies largest organ, and if most of the skin’s surface is covered in tattoos, it is reasonable to consider there might be damage to the epithelium, or some of the ink could conceivably be absorbed into the bloodstream or lymphatic system. Also, some people are more prone to forming keloid or scarring, while others are not. The surface of the skin does have a rich supply of capillary blood vessels. But the skin also has very good healing properties, and people have adapted to tattoos on the skin for thousands of years.
Tattoos have been commonplace for thousands of years, so no one can really deny any person the right to their choices regarding body art. But some people may not know the historical significance of certain imagery, and it might be wise to do some research first.
Some people immediately recognize jail house tattoos. Not only do they get recognized by those with knowledge of being in prison, but they are also known to law enforcement and educators.
Those who are aware of the meanings behind various tattoos will recognize navy, military and distinctive tattoos affiliated with certain gangs.
I never really knew what most tattoos meant, but always thought some of them looked rather sinister. I also recall people who landed up in hospitals who had to get surgery with incisions through some of those tattoos, which disfigured them in grotesque ways.
In one case, back in the eighties, a couple were in a motorcycle accident. They had massive tattoos, and I recall doing dressing changes on a huge Tasmanian she devil that was tattooed from the hip to the knee. The way it looked, and the distortions from surgery and all the road rash, as well as the difficulty in seeing the actual skin colour, was quite mind boggling to me at the time.
I also recall pregnant women with tattoos on their abdomen becoming stretched, and then changed dramatically if they had to go for surgery. In one case a woman had a large dolphin tattooed around her naval.
The history of tattoos goes way back to the beginning of mankind, and has its roots in the worship of prehistorical gods, who were believed to ward off evil spirits, or bring about good fortune. In some cases they marked an association with certain tribes, fertility, or fierce warnings about cannibalism and head hunters. Sometimes they were used as branding, the same as was done for livestock to signify ownership. In other cases, such as in the early Roman empire, they were used to show if taxes had been paid.
Indeed they have found mummified people in tombs going back thousands of years, with numerous body tattoos. Many of them were of religious significance. Others were thought to be the markings from certain shamans, who were making attempts to heal or drive out certain spirits. Some of the body art was tied to warriors and signified the ferocity of those tribles.
As time went on, during the early 1900’s into the 1940’s people would get covered in tattoos and go into carnival shows. They became a symbol of rebellion popular among hobos, carnies, and ex-convicts.
In spite of the fact tattoos have become more mainstream, it is a good idea to be aware of the meanings behind certain imagery. It would be prudent to avoid certain gang associated tattoos, as well as the ones that carry a significant meaning related to crimes and jail time.
Some of the more dangerous ones include the tear drop on the face. Apparently they mean the person has killed someone, or been the victim of a sexual assault while in prison. The cobweb design was originally linked to sailors on long voyages, symbolic of the length of time at sea, metaphorically, so long as to form cobwebs on their skin. But they also became symbolic of serving long stints in prison, and in more recent cases have a greater association with prison, than they do with the navy.
A three leaf shamrock is apparently linked to the Irish mafia, so it might not be a good idea, especially if you are a traveller, to get such a tattoo. They also have ties to the Aryan brotherhood, satanic symbols, and other sinister affiliations.
If not for doing this bit of research, I would never have known some of these images are as significant as they are. Another one is the dream catcher, or Indian warrior. It is another indication of crimes, overt rebellion against laws, and time spent in prison. Barbed wire is a Russian symbol that was tattooed on inmates who were given a life sentence, and represents they had nothing else to lose.
Cat tattoos represent a prisoner’s life as a thief. The cat imagery varies in the extremes of what they mean depending on how they are drawn. A cat with a top hat represents a criminal who hates and defies the law. A single cat means the person has worked alone as a cat burglar. Multiple cats mean they worked as part of a gang of thieves. So much for grannies who are cat lovers! Stick with pins on your lapel, or T-shirts with kitty cats and balls of yarn.
The scarab also indicates a history of thieving, in particular being adept at pickpocketing. Stars too, are a symbol of life in prison. The number of points on the stars indicates the number of years incarcerated. The bigger the stars or the more stars, the more seasoned the inmate. Furthermore if the stars are on the knees it means they will never bend to the police. If on the shoulders, it means they are a high ranking or highly respected criminal.
Manacles indicate a person has served five or more years in prison. Likewise military symbols also denote high ranking criminals not to be messed with. Skulls or skull and crossbones are symbols of murder.
Crowns with sub titles of King and Queen are also symbols to avoid. The five point crown is associated with the People Nation’s Gang, as well as Latin gangs. The roots date back to gangs in Chicago in the 1950’s.
Another interesting thing to note, is that when it comes to romance scammers, they often tell their victims they can be their queen, and they will be their king. It might be an indirect association with organized crime, because many romance scammers are tied to organized crime.
If someone calls a person they just met online a cupcake, I guess it means they have an affiliation for trans fats! Or maybe they are just goofy, and find flattery in a cupcake. Who knows for sure, but it is hard to understand why people fall for syrupy queen of cupcake flattery. They might as well drool over the tooth fairy. If someone tells you to be their queen, think twice, or check to see if they are from Nigeria. If they tell you to be their princess, I don’t know, maybe they are notching you up to being the queen.
Three small dots in the shape of a triangle would not trigger alarm bells for most of us who are not clued into the meaning of such things. Like cats and crowns, who would ever guess that such a symbol would have a universal meaning among gangs and law enforcement? It means “mi vida loca” which translates into crazy lifestyle of crime syndicates. The three dots is among the first and most common tattoos a gang member will get. It is commonly placed around the eyes or on the hands of the gang member, so they can identify each other. Some people, to include certain celebrities, get these tattoos to be cool. It’s probably not a good idea.
Clowns and joker tattoos are especially bad in countries like Brazil, as they symbolize pride in having killed a policeman. Understandably the Brazilian police do not take kindly to tough looking people wearing clown tattoos. Some reports claim they have been scraped off, followed by being rubbed with alcohol. Or if a person got into an altercation with police, they might be more likely to get shot, never mind the alcohol rub.
Certain skull designs are associated with specific and well known gangs such as the Hell’s Angels. The death head skull has long colourful wings. If a person gets one of these tattoos without being a qualified member of the gang, they might get them unceremoniously removed with a hot iron.
In addition, the Hell’s Angels, have been known to launch legal action against anyone using their branding for commercial purposes. This includes Disney, Saks Fifth Avenue, Alexander McQueen, and even Toys R’ Us.
These are just some of the examples of tattoos with hidden meanings that should be researched before getting any tattoo. No doubt the older and more historical imagery dating back to the ancient tribes, and worship of certain gods, are just as relevant, or even more so for those considering getting tattoos. I believe the rose has associations with the Rosicrucian cult. No doubt there are many other seemingly innocent symbols that might have associations with ancient pagan rituals.
Personally I would not have guessed cats, crowns or clowns carried such significant hidden meanings. But the border patrols and law enforcement in every country and city worldwide are familiar with the meaning of tattoos.
In fact if you watch true crime shows, you soon find out that many times when a victim is found dead somewhere without any ID, one of the first things they take note of, is if there are any tattoos. In many of those cases, the tattoos become a way of identifying the body. Often, it is a family member who knows immediately, it is their loved one, because even a small tattoo on the ankle, or some other place on the body is immediately recognizable. Family members know why the person has the particular tattoo, what it looks like, and where it is located.
Symbols have always carried great significance whether they are tattoos, or elsewhere. In many cases the true origin or meaning is unknown, and may be used innocently. However they could inadvertently provide an association with gangs or prisons that a person did not intend. This is especially so if they are worn by celebrities or used as branding for trendy or commercial purposes.
Design and art is part of our existence, and can be a source of fascination. In fact, all things contain patterns, to include what we see in nature, science, and art. We just need to be aware of the meanings associated with certain designs or arrangements.
If we happen to wear a T-shirt or buy a poster with a hidden design or sinister image, we can simply discard it. But when it comes to tattoos, they are much more permanent, so it is would be prudent for all people who are considering getting tattoos to research the designs, and be sure to avoid those with gang or prison associations. This would also include being sure not to get something that might cause an averse reaction, if you are crossing a border, or going into a country where they might mean something sinister to police or border officials.
As far as frogs are concerned, I am not sure of any gang associations, but in the book of Revelation, frogs represent unclean spirits, and of course dragons represent Satan or the antichrist. Horns also have a Biblical significance. In fact, it never ceases to amaze me how much imagery we are surrounded with, both in the real world and in the spiritual one. This article is just a small representation of the vast amount of symbology in our past and present world.
If something gives you pause, trust your discernment and intuition, and do some research before permanently having it etched into your skin.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The trend toward buying second hand goods has lost its stigmatization, and in the case of luxury brand items, the authentic brands made in France and Italy are very difficult to find anywhere else. Many of the original companies have gone out of business, or have quietly outsourced to China.
As far as eyeglass frames and vintage sunglasses, almost all are now made in China, to include Ray Ban, Oakley, Persol, Oliver Peoples, Coach, Prada, Chanel, and many others. These companies were recently purchased by Luxottica, which is made in China.
Occasionally you will see vintage sunglasses advertised as new dead stock. These websites make the claim that huge numbers of brand new designer sunglasses were found in a warehouse somewhere. If you think about it, how likely is it that a famous brand like Christian Dior or Valentino would have left a warehouse full of sunglasses in a storage room in New York City for fifty years? If it sounds implausible, it probably is. Such claims are most likely promoting and selling mass produced knock-offs.
Even though we have become used to the fact Luxottica now makes most luxury brands of eyeglasses, there is still a niche market for those who want to find the authentic brands made in the original country of origin. For eyeglass frames and sunglasses, the countries with the best reputations for both style and craftsmanship, are Japan, France, USA and Italy. You may also come across upscale brands from Germany, Switzerland, Denmark and Sweden.
Therefore the hunt for eyeglass frames made in those countries is part of the vintage niche market of hard to find authentic brands.
One of the most positive directions to help with the reuse and recycling of vintage eyewear is the fact you can now send your frames to online companies who will put the lenses of your choice into the frames. You can choose the lens, send in your prescription, and get various different coatings, including blue light filters, for a fraction of the cost. An example of such a service is called Dr. Lens Change and is located near Vancouver:
This service, as well as many other similar online lens replacement services, offers sunglass replacement lenses, as well as prescription lenses, which means those old eyeglass frames can have the lenses replaced. When this service was first introduced, they were limited to certain types of frames you could have lens replacements put into, but in recent years they have included all types of frames, to include rimless and curved.
I think the most difficult to replace are the lenses with significant curvatures, so if you have frames like that, check with them first. Dr. Lens Change claims they can replace lenses into any shape of frame. They also have an online chat, so you can ask questions if you have any concerns before sending them in.
For those who have sunglasses in designer frames they love, but need prescription lenses, or have a scratch in an old pair, you can now have those lenses replaced. They also offer non prescription replacements and transition lenses. If you wear prescription eyeglasses, you simply send them a copy of your prescription along with the frames. They also offer free shipping, and discounts if you order more than one pair.
Another interesting development in the world of technological advancement, is certain companies will now offer online eye testing, which I am not prone to promote at this stage, because a smart phone or computer simply does not have the diagnostic equipment to fully assess a person’s vision and eye health. However, I do believe they could provide a rudimentary assessment as to whether or not you do need to see an ophthalmologist.
When searching for authentic designer brands, or funky eyeglass frames from the 1950’s or 1960’s, you will not likely find them en masse on a website claiming they are new dead stock. Dead stock means they are no longer in production but remain in inventory.
All famous luxury brands are still in production, therefore it is a contradiction to claim they have massive quantities of dead stock from the mid-century era. The cost of storage alone would be a strong deterrent for any company. If they actually did store rooms full of inventory for fifty years in a major city, the storage costs would be astronomical and impractical over such a long period of time. Although I don’t know for sure what dead stock really means, I am skeptical of their claims.
As with most things vintage and niche market, you will find the unique one of a kind sunglasses and eyeglass frames through sellers who source them out one by one. When I look at eyeglass frames and sunglasses, other than condition, my number one concern is to make sure they are made in Italy, France or Japan.
I do have a pair of Graffix sunglasses, and will probably list them in the near future, even though they are made in China. They were originally made in Germany. In this case, they are an interesting steampunk design, with part tortoise and part wire frame. I do not know if it is possible to carry a wide range of interesting frames without having a few that are made in China.
I realize not all people are as fussy about avoiding the made in China labels as I am, therefore if the frames are unique, I will list the occasional pair, but will always disclose where they were made, and price them accordingly.
Eyeglass frames are fun to look at, and shop for, because they are so distinctive, like an added facial feature, and really reflect the personality and style of an individual. In fact they are so impressive they can change your overall appearance just by switching the frames. Not all current trends suit all face shapes. The wayfarer look may not suit a small face with sharp features. Some people look better in oval or round frames, and others look better in rectangular or square frames. No one should be limited by advertising trends or what’s hot at Costco. There are many more choices, if you are aware of the fact you can now have lens replacements in any style, or any age of eyeglass frames.
We all recall or know about some of the iconic looks created by certain musicians and Hollywood films. John Lennon, Men In Black, Audrey Hepburn, Top Gun, Blues Brothers, Clark Kent, and many others, created a memorable and distinctive persona depicting a certain pizzaz and personal style.
Whether you are drawn toward a sleek cool look, or a funky spirited appearance, or an understated intellectual, or nuanced and nerdy – you can find these fashion statements in the second hand market. Other than in old Hollywood movies, or on vintage album covers, you are not likely to see them everywhere you go. One definite added bonus of the vintage market, is in finding what is unique to your own face and style.
The Quiet West selection is always adding new frames, and various other vintage items. Check out the sunglasses and eyeglass frames with specs from the late 1800’s to date. You will find authentic designers from the obscure to the sublime to include Ray Ban, Oakley, Chanel, Vuarnet, Ferragamo, Thierry Mugler, Roberto Cavalli, and Celine, as well as less known exotic vintage brands like Sun Mode, May, and Matsuda.
A little bit of interesting history from the Hutchinson News in Kansas tells us about the origin of the oldest pair in the collection, Henry Zinn Jewelers & Optometrist who started making eyeglasses in 1890:
The ChatGPT is the new AI technology with a grasp on language, at least enough to string words together, and create written content. I often wonder how it will pan out in the coming years. Is it really all it is cracked up to be?
There are many reasons I would not bother with it: For starters I prefer to do my own writing, and I think it would be a hassle to ask a bunch of questions to get a computer generated response, as opposed to thinking for myself.
I do not believe AI can contribute authenticity in emotion, memory or subtle nuances of language. Although I know it would have a greater memory capacity than humans because of all the stored knowledge, I do not believe it can make the same associations within the vat of stored memory. It could not possibly have the creative capacity, or the inspiration the human mind can have. It cannot really have much in the way of motive, although it could certainly have biases, which could construct a motive in a broad sense.
It does seem likely there would be certain biased responses. Or perhaps there might be directional elements, pointing the writer to certain conclusions, or insertions. But it does not have the capacity for human experience, and therefore it cannot apply common sense in the same way humans can.
Each human being carries in their own memory a unique set of experiences in life, and in some ways there is a genetic component as well. We tend to inherit certain traits, and perhaps even ancestral memories. A computer cannot capture those elements, especially if a person has a lot of experience, as well as strong emotion to go with the experiences, because the emotive aspects give rise to inspired works.
In addition, because human beings are relational, we are all affected by the interactions with others, which in turn influences our ideas. We are also shaped by what we learn and read about throughout our lives. We gain insight about a variety of topics throughout our careers. Depending on what the career is, it could add a great deal of experience to influence our thought processes. A career creates experience, observation, relational, and advanced learning, to insert into our repertoire of things to write about.
One of the most obvious problems in my mind, is that taking away our capacity to think and write for ourselves is not good for us. People program computers, therefore a human element is behind the ChatGPT processing, and it could rob people of critical thinking skills. In other words it could become a contributor to dumbing people down, as opposed to lifting them up.
Writing is about communicating. There is no lazy person’s front for good writing. Perhaps we have a weakness in grammar or tense. Or in structuring our content. But writing is a craft, and like all crafts you don’t get better at it by finding ways to skirt around the tasks of putting it all down, trying to make sense, organizing, editing, and so on.
ChatGPT would not be able to pick up on certain comparisons, metaphors, nuances, sarcasm or humour. One of the things I enjoy most about writing, is the flashes of comparison, the poetry, and the emotional involvement. I don’t want to turn those things off, and seek a computer generated response.
Most of the topics we write about, are written about by thousands of other people. If we do not add our own individual perspective on the topic, then what is the point?
The human brain has more capacity for memory, inspiration, associations, and creativity than we give ourselves credit for. ChatGPT may take away some of the freelancer work. It may be used in Universities and other areas where a template, or a preconceived context and conceptualization is the expectation. Universities are not the best place for establishing original, or individual thought processes anyway. People must clone their thoughts, and align them with the University, in order to graduate.
Language is the fundamental basis for all human development and growth. It is the tool of propaganda, war and atrocities. It is how civilizations rise, and how they dissolve. It is how we learn, and how we communicate ideas to others.
Language is full of gradation and refinements. According to the dictionary, we have 171,146 words to draw on in the English language, in order to express ourselves. The arrangement and use of those words is up to us. Now it is also up to ChatGPT as well.
The Bible contains 783,137 words. I find it to be quite interesting to have almost five times the number of words in the Bible as there are in the dictionary. Of course the Bible does repeat many words, so unlike the dictionary, each word is not entered just once. But regardless, it does strike a note of awe surrounding the depth of learning and wisdom contained within the Bible.
Of all the writing done throughout the history of mankind, nothing could ever emulate what is written in the Bible. The complexity of the meaning in much of the imagery, the many parables, metaphor, switching between literary and figurative, changing tense, prophecies, variety of literary styles, as well as the fact there are certain mysteries no one can fully understand, makes it wholly unique. In addition there are many translations, and even in those translations, some of the literary form, and context can be lost. The Bible is far more brilliant than anyone can really even fathom.
The Bible proves to us that much of what is written by human beings can be influenced by divine inspiration, or insight. It also demonstrates that the comprehension of the words in the Bible are not only intellectual, but spiritual as well.
How can an AI ChatGPT program reach into the spiritual realm of divine inspiration and understanding? It is not to suggest any of us can compare what we write to what is in the Bible. But for those who believe, study the Bible, and have a desire to serve God, the personal and spiritual beliefs we have will depend on God’s word. We are more likely to be spiritually influenced in our minds and hearts, which in turn will determine what we write about, and how we write it.
One of the main issues for me with AI programmed writing, is the hidden source, as well as the fact it cannot contain a deeper context of the human condition or spiritual beliefs.
One thing I have noticed, especially in MSM this past few years, is how the message is crafted to steer us toward certain beliefs. Sometimes it is done with an incredible amount of complexity and deception. We have been funnelled into accepting certain belief systems, even if our common sense rails against it. We do not want to be intolerant, hateful, or judgemental. Even if we offer an opinion, it is subject to censorship. There are rapidly changing political ideologies we are expected to comply with.
A divergent opinion about political ideologies is not about hating people. It is trying to warn people about the direction things are going. We are on a slippery slope. Even more descriptive, is to realize that in some ways, we are on the precipice of a massive mudslide, a conglomerate of decaying, mucky, and acrimonious morals. They have become looser by the day, and are snowballing, with enough momentum to bury us. Our values are eroding faster than a clearcut hillside under the deluge of a forty day rainfall. The deluge is a delusion for some, and yet for the history of the world, it has already transpired. We should know better, but we don’t.
What is cloaked in compassion, such as in expanding MAID for mature minors and the mentally ill, is not really caring or concern. It is something else entirely. We are listening to some kind of opposite doublespeak normalizing what is not normal.
Language is a tool, and without a doubt it is the biggest hammer ever known to man. It can build us up, and it can beat us down. It can move things forward, or it can claw things backward. It can be used to build, and it can be used to demolish.
We are supposed to love one another. Dishonesty is not love. The way we use tools makes a big difference, as to what they turn out.
Bad language is not limited to cursing, and venomous vile rage toward others. It can be like bandits with pistols, plotting the next heist. It can be used to trap us in a corner, and play with us, like a cat does to a mouse.
And likewise loose lips can sink ships. So many people have trapped, and hung themselves with their own words. That’s why murderers, and guilty people are seldom put on the witness stand. They are fools, if they think they can talk their way out of it under cross examination. Few people have good enough memories to reiterate their own lies with accuracy.
Truth may not be desirable for some people, but it is so much easier to convey and maintain. Lies constantly change. They are a moving target. Whereas truth has the confidence to sit still. Truth does not have to hide. Lies on the other hand, seek the cover of darkness, and hope to never see the light.
Body language is a big part of written language as well. Even though many people don’t realize it, in a similar manner as reading body language in the flesh, the tone of writing can intuitively be picked up by the reader, based on what is in between the lines. The body of text does contain its own brand of body language, even if the reader has no idea what the writer even looks like.
Manipulation can be mastered, and mustered up covertly, then grow aggressively, spanning out, and spreading its influence like a poisonous invasive species does. Sometimes syrupy, and simpering words can sting like the giant hogweed we happen to brush up against, on our journey through life.
Words can be majestic, uppity, ill-defined, and arrogant enough to make the reader feel inferior. Then to avoid sounding dumb, they accept the article, or components of it, giving it high praise. They see words they seldom see, and even have to look them up, to find out what the heck they mean.
Surely it must mean the writer is brilliant. No it does not always mean the writer is a virtuoso. He or she might have a dazzling, ingenious use of words and a clever mind. Again they might not. They could just as easily use a power thesaurus as most writers do, and pick and choose the lofty and more clandestine words, instead of using plain language.
If someone uses their intelligence and writing ability to deceive, or to push a hidden agenda, people are often impressed with the exceptional vocabulary. We are more likely to believe someone who is educated and intelligent, especially if they have status and degrees. But if their motives are not good, or if they use sophisticated language as a way to sucker people into accepting nefarious ideologies, then they are worse than a moron. Far worse.
Behind all language, there is a motive. If the motive is to love one another, we will be honest, reflective, transparent, and well-meaning in our intent and use of language. Not all of our ideas will be well received, and as long as we understand our own limitations in the use of language, we should be able to expand on what we see as good. This is directly opposed to allowing what is not good to overrun our sensibilities, and obligation to use our intellect, and communication skills to help protect innocent people.
Good language is emotional, and inspired by love for others. Often those who are living an alternative lifestyle underneath the guise of acceptance, are becoming increasing marginalized, by the very forces that are promoting it all. I feel compassion for the people, especially young people, who fall victim to deceptive and life altering ideologies.
If we are honest, we can all look back at foolish decisions, fleeting ideas, angry outbursts, and a wide variety of other pitfalls. If a poor decision is made, we can recognize it and turn away from whatever caused it. People can recover from addictions, lifestyle choices, poor diet, unhealthy habits, etc.
But if decisions are irreversible such as gender change surgeries, and MAID, then the opportunity to change direction, or abandon something harmful, or any further choice in the matter is irrevocably taken away. Some decisions cannot be reversed, therefore the impact of those decisions is hefty, with an eternal rippling effect. If you talk to people, or know people who were suicidal at one time, but overcame it to lead a vibrant life, you know how temporary some emotions can be.
The same with body dysphoria. With gender change, there are many regretters, because they realize the surgery and physical changes may not be what they expected, and may not have helped how they feel about themselves. There are many types of body dysphoria, to include weight, and general appearance. If not for the fact people are insecure about themselves, the plastic surgery industry would not be thriving as much as it is.
My guess is that there is not one among us who has not embarked on a futile quest of some sort. We are far too short-sighted and limited to see what lies ahead of us. How many people seek riches to the exclusion of all else, and yet find it does not really fill the void within them?
The sea of humanity is one struggling pilgrimage, filled with illusory goals, both physical and spiritual. We don’t have all the answers as fallible human beings. Therefore it stands to reason AI programs like ChatGPT don’t have all the answers. Those algorithms are generated by equally errant human beings, who are not likely to fully connect all the dots either.
I am not anti-technology obviously, as I do spend a fair bit of time on my website, doing research, etc. I think like all tools, we use them in a way to achieve certain results, and there is nothing wrong with that. Even so, I do not bulk edit photos, or use a program to eliminate the work involved. The tools are not there to remove the work, but rather to enable it to be done, and improve the appearance. Like writing, you try to make improvements so your work is not in vain, and so you can learn in the process.
However, I sense there is a dark side to some of the components of AI. Because I have never used ChatGPT, and do not intend to use it, I cannot really say if it represents a sort of science fiction, dark emergence of technological takeover of the human mind. I think we need to protect our minds, and trust our intuition. My guess is of all things it may be lacking, it would be the least likely to have intuition. So if it really is a game of whack-a-synapse, let the intuition get there first!
Even so, one of the verses it does bring to mind is in the book of Ephesians in the Bible. Plus I do not want to turn over my thought processes to something as complex and gargantuan in scope as ChatGPT, and let it write for me. There is a work ethic involved. If something is quick and easy, it probably does not have lasting value.
Writing, like all things requiring creativity, is about patterns and arrangement. We take the word ingredients from thought formations, and organize them by design. One person may envision a landscape leading into the clouds, and another person may envision a field of wheat.
We ruminate, and come up with some kind of thought vision to describe where we are taking things, what we are mapping out, how we are going about it, and what the destiny is. The arrangement and design involving language is not just a pretty picture, it is a scope. It can be a telescope or a microscope. It can go up, down, backward, forward, left, right, and even into a spin.
As far as saying and writing things I regret, I wish I could dig a deep hole, throw them in, and turn them into compost. Like all things we do wrong, we also have to repent of the unkind, foolish, spiteful, distasteful words we have used. Then leave them behind. At least abandon the negative context in which they were used, and work towards improving our outlook. Just as we, as human beings, are constantly changing, writing is also a subset of a work in progress.
Language is limitless, and requires the least amount of real tools. Before computers, some of the greatest, and most incredible novels were drafted with nothing more than a pen and paper. The writer may have had a big leather bound dictionary sitting beside him or her, in the candle lit den.
Later it was a typewriter, and for the multitude of mistakes one makes, each sheet would have to be removed, and rewritten as many times as it took to get it right.
Now we have computers, quick access to spelling and grammar checks, as well as all the words in a thesaurus just a keystroke away. Has it turned out more brilliant writers than a hundred, or a thousand, or more years ago? I don’t think so. In fact in my opinion, all the technology might make things easier, but it does not enhance the writer’s ability. Too much technology, such as ChatGPT, might actually detract from the would be great writers of the future. Laziness is not a trait we should aim for, no matter what we are doing.
At the end of the ChatGPT line, I would be willing to bet a bit, or even predict, it has a few holes. It probably doesn’t have a wit, or even a smidgeon of humour or scorn. It can bore those poor words into oblivion.
I much prefer to just stumble along, and put the time and effort into writing my own material. To me, doing it any other way is kind of like getting up and lip syncing a song. My philosophy is; go ahead and sing it yourself, if you are going to sing it at all.
If anyone can come up with this very same article through ChatGPT – I will eat my (c)hat!
We should always be wary, and use a fair bit of caution when it comes to protecting and edifying our minds. In addition to the many verses in the Bible warning us to not be deceived, here is another one of the many verses, telling us what we wrestle against. At times we may wrestle against ourselves, other people, or even the wind, but we have a greater foe by far:
Ephesians 6:12 KJV “12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Who and what can define us? The onus is on us. Be on the qui vive for wanton marauders, whose millstone will shackle, pulverize and grind, and will bottle you as a kickback, to grease their behinds. Solemn and syrupy, they will sodomize your mind. Our essence is our selfhood. It orbits around kith and kin, our level of education, what we do for a living, what we pilot to procure, our get up and go, the sidekicks we endear, and whether or not, we are bankrolled in dough.
Customarily, our portrayal is trussed up in family, and the semblance of order within. For some, it is in subduing a mammoth – and becoming a survivor of calamity and havoc, such as addiction, illness, accident, divorce, or a fall into some other harrowing abyss. Establishing a career is a pilgrimage. It can traipse us across a praiseworthy promenade, pitch us a salient hot potato, or place us in a ponderous pickle. Financial stability and net worth are worthwhile ambitions – because they bring challenge, peace of mind, veneration, and an enhanced lifestyle. Fair enough.
Change comes through all kinds of upheaval. There is opportunity for cerebration, rumination, reflection, and hindsight to wax the wheels of change. Fluky or fortuitous – those defining demarcations, are but thumbnail sketches of life as we know it, and can splinter or rupture, into a jumble of rubble. Detour and take the divergent route, lugging and dragging a convoy of paraphernalia and baggage, and even so, we are wrestling the wind. Rein in and buckle down for vital acclimatization, distended and magnified, when you envisage yourself as a pawn or memento.
As though soaked and sodden, steeped in lumps and oodles, blended and amalgamated, joined and entwined, thrust into the pandemonium of a hooligan’s hokum. Discern it. Don’t deny it. Don’t acquiesce, or permit it to pillage you further. For soon there is a juncture, from engulfed and submerged, as it sequentially sinks in – then ascends to a conversion, and will augment migration.
One of life’s central battles is to define our own purpose for existence. There can be ferocity in the resistance one meets, just in making a choice to live your own life. Every stage of development we go through in life is a step toward asserting our own autonomy.
Unfortunately there are those who grow up lacking the perimeters to sustain internal cohesion, in relation to their own autonomy. It is a type of arrested development. The resulting intrinsic insecurity causes controlling, dominating, and manipulative behaviors. What they want supersedes the rights of other people. They cling to a malignant self-love as a form of self-exaltation. Self becomes the monument and simultaneously their worldview shrinks. They are gummed up in a bubble of delusion.
Bullies insist on targeting, limiting, assaulting in a variety of ways, defining and exploiting others for their own gain. They manipulate until they are blue in the face, and it will never be enough. At the end of the day – this is what defines them. We are ultimately defined by our own character traits. Almost everything else is transient.
What superficially defines us can be clawed away, to bring us vis-a-vis with the nothingness Jean-Paul Sartre so bleakly wrote about in “Being And Nothingness”. But he did converge upon the urgency to overcome conniving and dismal, onerous, backbreaking and confining, tyrannical, superincumbent, oppressive forces – in order to live an authentic life. The upsurge within us, scintillates the brain waves, to reconcile for ourselves, who and what enlightens and emboldens us.
For slamming the door in the face of the Exclusive Brethren teacher at last, they condemn me to the depths of wickedness and the vehement blaze of eternal damnation. They cannot contain or conceal the smoldering animosity toward me. They justify penance around accusations of me being the cause of an incessant rumble. The battle encompasses rebuffing the teacher and his dog-eared refusal to take no for an answer. The dinky deduction is to make me the disturbance, even though it ejaculated from his own shrinking loins.
They redefined me as the designated and devoted doyenne of fighting and fracas for fraying the finery of a fibbing disaster. I have transformed into a provocateur with a hitch and become a problematic snafu. A whistling quandary to be contained and restrained, or cease to exist.
They chew it as sinew to prolong the affliction. They seek to seclude, to ambush again, with a paroxysm of more sonorous suffering. They shrink into a desolate domicile, by stunting and stuffing, slurping on swagger, and suffocating sensibilities, for sick selfish reasons.
They are prepared to do combat and will keep right on clashing, until they stumble into a sweeping fiasco. The teacher wants an orifice for a consummate conclusion. The unease they perceive as a menace, crowning this compulsion, prompting surveillance or minding – is provoked by the scant bounty of what I am thinking.
The point of convergence in all of my thinking is to stop the madness, abort the injustice, and transform this aberration into an acknowledgment of the fundamental rights of others, particularly women and children. They have no right to make acceptance in my own family conditional upon the Exclusive Brethren bulldozer teacher being my au pair and daddy-god. They counterfeit themselves as venerating religious fundamentalists, yet they flubbed the nitty-gritty nuances, to become a figment, a yarn entwined in ballyhoo and knotted in hoopla.
Sooner or later the authentic self rises from an intrinsic driving force, giving direction until you arrive at, and acknowledge that existential place of nothingness. It took until I came to that place of acceptance on being nothing, knowing when we die we must let go of it all anyway, and in understanding that once we are born, we exist in this world and have as much right to be here as anyone else…
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2023). Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
