Pride, Humility & Forgiveness ~ Lessons To Be Learned
It took many years before I got past the backsliding, the pain, anger over falsehoods, and a career I did not choose, or take credit for – until I was finally ready to admit the depth my own sin.
Yes we fall victim to the sin of others, but we cannot change other people. Forgiveness is not a superficial or insincere apology. It is a process, involving much soul searching, combined with God’s grace.
We forgive others because He forgives us, and we know darn well we do not deserve His grace, or His forgiveness. Forgiveness is based on His love, mercy, and the hope of salvation. The promise of eternal life is a gift from God. Because of this we are able to forgive, and pray those we have wronged, neglected, or hurt – can forgive us.
No one likes to hear the word sin. Why? Because in our hearts we are convicted to the core. God gave us a conscience for a reason. We could call it vice, error, wickedness, neglect, bad behaviour, self deception, or blunder. But those are just synonyms for a much shorter, all encompassing word.
People prefer to call sin a mistake, or a mental illness, a criticism, a disease, a chemical imbalance in the brain, unfair judgement, or better yet – just ignore it all together. But sooner or later we have to face ourselves, regardless of how we might think we are presenting a perfect image to the outside world.
There is a phenomenal amount of deception in this world. But few things can surpass self-deception when it comes to the proud and haughty projection of raw hubris. Jesus warns us many times to not be deceived. This warning includes self deception.
We must learn to recognize or discern sin and deception, not to judge, but to steer clear of the pitfalls involved. Of all sin, pride, and lying are the the most destructive forms of self-deception. How do we know for sure what God hates? It is outlined in Proverbs.
Proverbs 6:6-19
16 These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Once we truly recognize our sin, we are humbled beyond words, just as the song Amazing Grace so aptly describes. Repentance is a blessing based on the grace of God. It puts us on the path to forgiveness, and a change of direction.
Some of us, myself included, have erred so much we can hardly grasp the scope of it. We are convicted in countless ways. Yet we cannot change the past. We can only go forward with a changed heart, and outlook, as God in His mercy, begins to show us the way. We are to embrace the newness of each day, with hope and thanksgiving.
You might be thinking, “What did you do?” The scope of possibilities when it comes to specific sins is vast. Deception is not always outright lying. Sometimes it is pretending everything is okay when it is not. It can also be a failure to set boundaries, to include being a people pleaser. It can be a failure to take care of ourselves, or our loved ones. It can be avoidance of communication we do not want to face. If we allow things to go against our better judgement, a small problem can become a monumental problem.
If we fail to honour our mother and father, that too, is sin. The Fifth Commandment is found in Exodus.
Exodus 20:12
We tend to have cognitive bias related to our own abilities, which can lead to pride. Or we might have excelled at something, in sports, academics, making money, or attracting the opposite sex, or being popular in general. Often at the root of pride, is where we find our own insecurities. We might be using accomplishments to cover up deep-rooted insecurities.
As believers we have the bible to instruct us, and the Holy Spirit to guide, and warn us of danger. We have to learn to pay attention. God will not overtake our free will, but he will warn us, and take care of us, if we trust in Him.
Fear of men (or women) is also a sin. If we fear someone, chances are we are letting them control us. We are supposed to fear God, not men. Lacking courage is a sin. Holding onto anger is a sin. It is not a sin to be angry, because all of our emotions have a purpose. The purpose of anger is to make a grievance known. It is meant to facilitate boundaries, and hopefully reconciliation. But it is not supposed to be held onto, or simmer into rage or hatred.
Admitting or acknowledging the sin in our life, is not an attack on our self-esteem. Being humbled is what brings grace, and patience. There is a difference between being humbled, and being ashamed. We can let go of the shame, because the bible tells us hope takes away our shame.
Romans 5:3-5
3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
We cannot serve two masters. As believers, we must put God at the centre of our lives, our thoughts, our identity, and our future. To allow someone else to abuse us, or push boundaries, or try to destroy our faith through manipulation and lies, is also a sin on our part. We are not hapless victims. God is on our side, and He will help us. We have to learn to trust Him, and have faith in the outcome. He knows what we have been through.
There are countless ways we can be addicted, to drugs, alcohol, sex, money, shopping, food, cigarettes, and so on. We can be addicted to work, television, video games, the Internet, social media, or even certain causes. We might think obsessing over a cause is not a sin. But anything that commands our attention to the exclusion of all else, is unhealthy. Anything we do that is unhealthy, is sinful because we are supposed to take care of ourselves.
Our thoughts can also be sinful, whether it is anger, revenge, ill will toward a neighbour, lust, or cursing inwardly about something. Dwelling on the past is sinful too, because once God has forgiven us, we are to become a new creature.
So how can we be without sin? Once we recognize and confess our sins, then change our ways, we begin to leave some of it behind. Then gradually we become liberated from the bondage of sin. The bible is our instruction manual. God searches our hearts, and minds. We cannot pretend or hide anything from God.
Over the years I have known many Christians who never once admitted wrongdoing. In fact, some Christians seem to believe their Christian claims, and churchgoing, makes them superior to other people. Money also contributes to excessive pride. This notion is fuelled by all of our ingrained beliefs surrounding the image of having a successful life.
Yet this is what the bible says about those who have a self-righteous attitude, without every admitting their own sins and faults. 1 John 1:8-10.
8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
It is true that we should work hard, and be clean and organized, for the sake of our peace of mind, our neighbours, and the stewardship, and appreciation of our surroundings. We don’t have to be rich to take care of our home, and be thankful for the roof over our head. It is not about works, it is simply day to day care and attention.
As we grow in faith, we have to realize the term Christian means different things to different people. There are many religions, denominations, and teachings. One of the things we have to sort out is truth from fable.
Until recently, I did not understand what “praying the rosary” meant. It is a repetition of prayers, bead by bead, which is part of the Catholic tradition.
Other aspects of the Catholic tradition is a reverence for Mary, confessions to a pastor for forgiveness of sins, the near worship of the pope, and the concept of purgatory.
Catholic traditions have many twigs and branches, such as Calvinism, Lutheranism, Anglican, Amillennialism – offshoots of the Protestant Reformation, which emerged in the 16th century. These denominations reject some of the traditional Catholic teachings, while maintaining others.
Christian Zionism came about in stages, beginning around the time of the Protestant Reformation with writers Francis Kett and Thomas Brighton. Later in the 19th century, the writing of Theodore Herzl advanced the concept.
In the mid 1800’s John Darby introduced most of the aspects of Christian Zionism as we know it in the western world. He changed many verses in the bible, divided it into seven dispensations, separated the Jews from the Gentiles, and invented the pre-tribulation rapture doctrine. The essence of what he taught was that the Jews have a promised land to return to, and God treats them as special. But that is not what the bible says.
Galatians 3:28
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
The Darby bible believers began with the Plymouth Brethren in Dublin, Ireland. John Darby was a former Anglican priest. He introduced the rapture theory based on the description given to him by a teenage girl, who supposedly claimed to levitate during a seance.
As time went on the Plymouth Brethren church faced many splits and schisms. The Exclusive Brethren, the most extremist of all of them, rose out of those sects, and took root in various countries throughout the world.
In 2007 the Australian Federal labour leader called the Exclusive Brethren an extremist cult that ripped families apart. Some journalists dubbed them the “Brethren Bullies”. Journalist Michael Bachelard wrote the book “Behind The Exclusive Brethren: Politics, Power, Persuasion and Persecution”. This book was written following his role as an investigative journalist, citing their influence in politics over former PM John Howard.
Their political meddling, family break-ups, control over members, fund raising, and secretive tactics have been pointed out in many countries to include Canada, the US, Australia, New Zealand and Britain. Their numbers are not really known, but estimated to be around 55,000.
The list of cults is a very long list. The common denominators among cults is that they mix truth with falsehoods. They usually rely on reverence for a specific leader. They are avid fund raisers, and use many different tactics to control members, and their families. They are often divisive, and do not hesitate to lie. All under the guise of being elitist Christians as their name suggests.
In the early 1900’s the Darby teaching of Christian Zionism was advanced by C.I. Scofield, and the Scofield reference bible. Scofield put extensive footnotes in the bible, which for the most part, make no sense. But nevertheless, the Evangelical Christian movement grasped onto the Zionist teachings.
Millions of Christians who grew up in these churches had no idea how recently Christian Zionism had been introduced. Nor did they break it down and compare it to the original bible. It was taken verbatim as the truth of the Gospel.
My husband used to say that if you learn to do something the wrong way, you just get better and better at doing it wrong. At the time he was referring to sports, like a swim stroke, or a golf stroke, or basketball drills.
But there is wisdom in what he said, because it applies to most things in life. Patterns of daily living easily become ingrained routines, or bad habits. Certain falsehoods become indoctrinated beliefs. If we do not examine it for ourselves based on what it says in the bible, we are likely to be deceived.
We each have our own journey, surrounding our faith, our beliefs, and most of all sorting out what is true, and what is false. The various churches and denominations often have complex belief systems, steeped in years of repetition, and tradition. Such strongholds are not easily broken.
Only Jesus knows what is in our hearts. Anyone who adamantly states certain people are going to hell, is being presumptuous and judgemental. We cannot know who is going to hell. Our main focus has to be our own spiritual life. I believe it is of utmost importance to share the gospel, for the wisdom and guidance it offers us. We are quick to err if we lean on our own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
We can find the truth in the original bible, to help us navigate our lives. We are not responsible for what others believe. If those belief systems have harmed us spiritually, we are to forgive. Escaping oppressive belief systems is truly liberating.
Recently I was listening to some of the speeches delivered at the United Nations. It is understandable that becoming the leader of a nation, might cause some of those leaders to have excessive pride. Others have more wisdom and humility. The bible has many verses warning people about excessive pride.
Matthew 23:12-14
Proverbs 16:18-19
18 Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
19 Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.
Isaiah 2:11
11 The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the LORD alone shall be exalted in that day.
Ephesians 4:32
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Luke 6:36-37
36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
We should not make the mistake of thinking forgiveness is a license to sin. Although we are instructed to forgive one another, it is Christ who has the power to forgive for all eternity. No one can pull the wool over the eyes of God. True repentance is not a glib apology without remorse. It involves a change of heart.
Luke 16:15
15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.
For those who do find the way, the truth and the life through the grace, and true gospel of Jesus Christ, the promise and hope is throughout the bible. Believe in Christ, repent, forgive, and be forgiven.
Revelation 21:4
4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Copyright Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West (2025). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Valerie J. Hayes and Quiet West with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.